#greg the cleric

[baelinsrod]

Yeah, nah, you know what? The really weird and out of character thing about this is not Greg suddenly being horny for Bodger. It's Bodger finding it weird. 🤣 Like how does Bodger Sucks-dicks-in-dark-alleys Offers-to-suck-baradun's-dick Is-up-to-fuck-Sandra-AND-Greg Blodger find ANY OF THIS weird?? Hmm?? Hmmm??? 🤣🤣🤣

[vldldarkwood]

NPC D&D comedy xD poor Adam

[mtg-cards-hourly]

Leonin Relic-Warder

Artist: Greg Staples TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link

[eli-silly]

SUCCESSION AU WHERE THEY ALL PLAY DND???????????

[arseniccattails]

woot woot survived the tpk babey

[fuckyeahlabynight]

so who's your favorite non-vampire and why is adrian clairmont?

Probably something to do with Brennan Lee Mulligan's raw charisma, amazing RP skills, and looking damn good in a clerical collar.

But actual special shout out to the moderator's actual favourite non-vampire - Vince Caso as Greg Demetrios.

[cityandking]

8, 17, 24, 47, 61 for minah + two kiddos of your choice!!

ty tabby!!! // get to know my d&d characters

8. what are three songs that suit them?

MINAH — 1. citizen/soldier - 3 doors down (my favorite warden song) 2. hollow - cloudeater (and I'm ill with all that I know / 'cause it shows what little I know / I want sacred, I want final / and I'm seeking it wherever I go) 3. did it to myself - orla gartland (and now you're living in my memory / living in my mouth / living in the four fucking walls of my house) DAI — 1. royal empress - greg laswell (and we all thought everyone was gonna make it out alive) 2. call it dreaming - iron & wine (where we see enough to follow / we can hear when we are hollow / where we keep the light we're given / we can lose and call it living) 3. you're gonna go far - noah kahan (so pack up your car, put a hand on your heart / say whatever you feel, be wherever you are) ENIKO — 1. severed - the decemberists (I alight like a whisper / I alight with the lights out / and it won't take me long just to find you / and it won't take me long just to find you) 2. everybody knows - sigrid (everybody knows the fight was fixed / the poor stay poor, the rich get rich / that's how it goes / everybody knows) 3. the wolf - manchester orchestra (there is nothing you've got when you die that you keep / you were all that you were, were you all you could be?)

17. what do they dream about, when their dreams are their own?

MINAH — blood or eyes in the dark. sometimes both. sometimes home, which is always the worst DAI — these days, the abyss. it's hard to remember what's memory and what's nightmare (at a certain point the distinct ceases to matter) ENIKO — nothing all that interesting. that strange, sharp, slightly-anxious reprocessing of everything going on around him. nightmares too, but even those are banal by now. he's almost figured out how to talk himself out of the fear when he wakes up

24. which of the four elements speaks to them the most?

MINAH — water. it's about everything going on under the surface and the stubbornness and fitting into whatever shape or channel she has to in order to keep moving forward DAI — earth. partially because of the whole earth genasi thing, but mostly because he's born from the mountains and his roots go deep. as much as he's a cleric of the sky, the whole point of flight is that eventually you have to find somewhere safe to land. ENIKO — water. deep, dark, inscrutable, swiftly moving, dangerous. adaptable and always fit to the container he's in.

47. when they meet someone, what is the first thing they notice?

MINAH — their money. not just where their purse is (that too) but what they're wearing, how they carry themself, what they flaunt and what they hide. DAI — daichi, daichi, what do your +15 insight eyes see? ALL. in all seriousness, he tends to observe how people carry themselves and how they react to other people around them. he might be shit at expressing himself but he's good at reading a room. ENIKO — their hands, their weapons, and their hands in relation to their weapons.

61. what kind of flower would they choose to pick from a meadow?

MINAH — all of them. she'd make a lovely little bouquet, tied with string DAI — something pretty but also with useful medicinal properties ENIKO — none. but if he had to, he'd pick sunflowers

[oldschoolfrp]

Happy Gary Gygax Day -- Gary’s birthday, July 27, 1938.

Looking at the original 1974 “OD&D” rules this year, using only Volume I, Men & Magic, I’m rolling up 3d6 in fixed order to get:

Str:  16

Int:  9

Wis:  9

Con:  11

Dex:  5

Cha:  12

Gold Pieces: 100 starting, now 4

Thorvin the Level 1 (”Veteran”) Dwarf Fighting-Man, Lawful alignment, 7 hit points, plate mail and shield (AC2), morning star for melee and hand axe to throw, moves 9″ in armor.

There are 3 classes in the original rules -- Fighting-Man, Magic-User, and Cleric), and 4 races -- Human (any class), Dwarf (always a Fighting-Man), Elf (can be FM or MU alternately in different adventures), and Halfling (FM).

Strength is the prime requisite for Fighting-Man and a score of 15 or higher grants +10% to earned experience, so fighter is the logical choice.  Just for flavor I made him a dwarf, though that will cap his advancement at level 6 (”Myrmidon”).  He’ll save vs magic at four levels higher than a human, and can “note slanting passages, traps, shifting walls and new construction in underground settings.”

Hit points for a level 1 Fighting-Man are 1 die +1, with no bonus for his average Constitution.  Dice in OD&D are always assumed to be a D6 unless otherwise stated.  Different hit dice types by class wasn’t introduced until Supplement I: Greyhawk in 1976.  I get lucky and roll a 6, for a total of 7 hp.

Dex under 9 means “Fire any missile at -1″ so he’ll focus on melee fighting (but -1 on a roll isn’t that bad when using the alternate D20 combat rules instead of the Chainmail rules that use D6s).

With his starting gold pieces of 100 (from 3D6 x 10) he buys plate mail (50gp) and a shield (10gp) for AC2 and a much higher chance to survive combat, a morning star (6gp), hand axe (3gp), leather backpack (5gp), one small sack (1gp), one large sack (2gp), 6 torches (1gp), one week of iron rations (15gp), 2 skins (x1gp each), one for water and one for a quart of wine (1gp).  He’ll try to earn his share by standing in the front line to protect weaker party members.  If he can find a bit of treasure his next purchase will be a crossbow and quarrels.

As a dwarf he speaks the languages of Dwarves, Gnomes, Kobolds, and Goblins.  Only characters with Intelligence above 10 can learn additional languages.  Non-humans do get a 20% chance to speak Common but I roll an “82″ which means he doesn’t, which will make party communication interesting.

He may rely on hirelings as translators.  His average Charisma will allow him to hire up to 4 “unusual” hirelings (non-player characters with a class and level of 1 or higher) and they will have no penalty or bonus to loyalty.

(Dwarf illustration presumably by Greg Bell, from Dungeons & Dragons, Volume I, Men & Magic by Gygax and Arneson, Tactical Studies Rules, 1974)

[inevitablyuncertain]

is this a universal cleric version of "he would not fucking say that" when ur cleric casts Toll the Dead and the DM describes the bell the enemy hears and you simply have to cut in for this very important cantrip description

ie. Free's 'toll the dead' sounds like soft wind chimes. Lt Cpn Greg's sounds like war drums

[orangejuiceandopium]

Oooh okie uh. Father Greg my Cleric of Kelemvor got plucked up from Barovia by the Mindflayers, triggering his on-and-off-again husband Strahd to carve a war path chasing him down. They’re on like their third or fourth divorce at this point so Greg very much did not expect Strahd to come barrelling into camp screaming bloody murder during the middle of act 2.

The other lads just thought Father Greg was being a good little pious cleric when he never found fit to take a lover on their travels. Turns out he was saving himself for the loudest adrenaline-fuelled hate sex possible right there in a camp in the shadow cursed lands.

No one could look either Greg or Strahd in the eye the next morning. Astarion is particularly sore over it because he’s finally found out why Greg simply cannot take him seriously. Turns out it’s hard to fear vampire spawn when you’ve lived with the biggest baddest vampo for the better part of two decades

INCREDIBLE! What a guy!

—

Didn’t have her on my blorbo list but I gotta mention my Curse of Strahd campaign character Sister Lilijana the death cleric of Fierna. Prior to ending up in Barovia she was a fairly high up in her sect of Fierna worshipers so she got to participate in a ritual to conceive a child intended to be Fierna’s next mortal champion. That child is her tiefling son Apellyon, who Lilijana loves so very much but wasn’t allowed to raise because other higher ups in the church didn’t want him distracted from his higher purpose by familial bonds. He’s about 8 when she ends up in Barovia and she’s fighting like hell to get back to the material plane to see him again.

[baelinsrod]

Greg would be lying if he said there wasn't a thrill to it. An excitement in taunting the beast and having all that raw strength come at him.

Wondering what would happen if he pushed him too far...

😝 Don't mind me...

[mtg-cards-hourly]

Avacynian Priest

Moorlanders speak in awe of the priests' talent for arriving just in time to drive off the wicked things that prowl the ravished parish.

Artist: Greg Staples TCG Player Link Scryfall Link EDHREC Link

[abloginnameonly]

Mercy

@oc-tober2023

A little mid-dungeon philosophy

Mar C was delighted when one of the clerics traveling through Stromkuhldur was willing to share the writing he’d brought with him. Captain Lurkana didn’t want them getting too close with the adventurers, especially a non-combatant like Mar C, but they’d managed to plead their way through Lieutenant Greg, who was able to bring it to the Captain. 

“They would like to take this opportunity to practice for their scribe work," it explained. Lieutenant Greg knew better than anyone how diligently Mar C collected scraps of writing to read. "And if he cannot handle meeting one of our scribes without causing trouble, he will be taken care of.” 

Vyrin looked a little pale, even without Lieutenant Greg looking at him, even without its tone changing. Lieutenant Greg was great like that - always looking after its troop of scribes. They didn’t get into too many big fights like some of the other commanders, but they did control the flow of adventurers into their settlement, and the Lieutenant took its job very seriously.

It was mostly prayer scrolls, Vyrin warned weakly. And they might not have even survived the three levels of Undermountain in his pack. 

But that was plenty enough for Mar C, that was perfect, and then Lieutenant Greg asked of Vyrin was trying to back out because he'd had plans of causing trouble, so they met by the river three hours later when Mar C was done with their shift and he’d had a chance to rest with his party. Vyrin still looked unsettled and approached the riverbank in a careful way that meant he’d heard about the undead creatures that were in the water, which was good because sometimes they crawled out. He was an elf, a little tall and orange-haired, with very blue robes under thin leather armor that made Mar C sad to think about for too long so they didn’t. 

Vyrin settled himself awkwardly on the cold hard stone, legs folded carefully under him, and rummaged a handful of scrolls out of his well-organized bag. He took them out one by one, inspecting them for damage, explaining what they were as he went. 

“This one is used to cast a shielding spell... These are ceremonies that I can conduct... This one is a prayer for clarity of mind…not a spell, mind you, just a prayer to Sehanine Moonbow.” He pronounced the name carefully, a little stiffly, unsure of what was expected of him. 

“You’re really nice!” Mar C assured him. “It’s nice that you’re showing me your expensive scrolls even though you were afraid of Lieutenant Greg." Vyrin grimaced, but didn't deny it. "Don’t worry though, as long as you don’t do anything that would threaten Stromkuhldur, you won’t be in any trouble here.”

“Small mercies,” he said dryly. 

“Yeah, I guess I am!” Mar C chirped. 

“Oh-" he cleared his throat. "I’m sorry. No, ‘mercy,’ not ‘Mar C.’” 

“Hm?”

Vyrin’s brows pulled together in a way that usually meant that Mar C had said something odd. This happened often enough that they were getting almost alright at guessing what it was. 

“Were…you making a joke?” Sometimes they did pick up until too late that someone didn’t mean what they said seriously. Or that they meant something seriously when Mar C thought they were playing. It was one of the things that made some of the soldiers sigh when Mar C talked to them. 

Vyrin didn’t sigh, but he did set the scroll down. 

“No… Is it not…” He searched for words. “‘Mercy?’” he repeated, and Mar C paid attention this time. Ahh, they understood now, he wasn’t saying their name. But what was it? Mar C was ten and knew a lot of words, but they didn’t have that one written down in their notebook. They shook their head. Vyrin tilted his in return

“You know…I’ve heard before that goblins don’t have a word for mercy, but that’s always felt more like a deliberate cultural misunderstanding on our part than truth.” 

That sounded like such a smart thing to say that Mar C smiled.

“How about you tell me what it means, and I’ll tell you if we have that in Goblin; I know lots of words, a lot more than I know in Common,” they said modestly. 

Vyrin nodded.

“Fair enough. Mercy is…being kind when you’re able to hurt someone.”

Mar C stared. 

“That’s just…being kind?”

“Right, right… It’s specifically when you’re able to punish someone. If someone did something bad to you and then you were kind and let them go.”

Oh that. Vyrin smiled seeing the recognition on their face.

“Oh, yeah, we have a word for that.” Mar C nodded. 

“That’s great! How do you call it?” 

“Suicide.”

Vyrin laughed, caught off guard. 

“Great, very funny.” He rolled his eyes in a not mean way.

“Was it?” They preened a little, pleased at their joke.

“Yes, yes… But actually, surely you actually have a word for something like that?” Vyrin asked. 

“Well, sure.” Mar C shrugged. They heard it plenty in the war shouts of the soldiers about to fight the drow - it was something you weren’t supposed to have. “But I think we don’t use it the way you do. We let people go if it will kill too many of our people or use too many resources to chase ‘em. We let adventurers through Stromkuhldur because most of you aren’t worth all the fights. But we’re not really allowed to let someone live just because we’d feel bad.”

“Not allowed by who?” 

“The next people who will try to kill us,” Mar C said simply. 

Vyrin frowned, and Mar C couldn’t tell if they were trying to understand or not. It was hard, sometimes the nice ones were the worst to talk to because they got a little less smart when they had to think about other people. 

“Don’t you mean ‘if’?” he asked gently. 

“I don’t. ‘Will’ and ‘when.’”

“Have you ever considered…going somewhere where you don’t have to fight?”

“Do people not protect their homes on the surface? Do you not have wars?” Mar C was skeptical. Adventurers that came into the dungeon were too good at fighting for there not to be any above ground. 

“We do. I just think it’s a shame that you have to fight so much. Think of how much better your home could be.”

“I like my home!” Mar C defended. “I’m proud of us, and I’m not sorry that we’re killing drow that are trying to kill us.”

“Have you ever hear the saying that when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail?”

“...No.”

“I just hope that you, you and your people, will one day be able to live a peaceful life.”

~

Several days later, a scouting team brought several adventuring packs back to Stromkuhldur. Four bodies were shot with drow arrows and much of their equipment was already looted. After sifting through what could be repurposed, the scrolls were deemed unmagical and Mar C was able to claim them. A small mercy that at least his scrolls survived him. An even smaller mercy that they were killed quickly rather than enslaved. Miniscule, that he’d died proving his beliefs.

[eastgaysian]

i've been thinking abt your dnd classes post all day all day and i honedtly think think ken is a paladin (but could also be a monk like you said) shiv is a rogue. roman is a sorcerer (he is chaotic so wild magic). i agree that connor is a wizard or he could be a cleric. and logan fits best as a barbarianbut could also be a fighter. gerry is a wizard. i was thinking tom was a bard but you convinced me that he is a cringe paladin. greg is a bard or a rogue. stewy is a warlock.

ohh paladin ken is fun actually but yk there's absolutely no way he's going to be able to adhere to an oath. i can see shiv as a rogue, i just really strongly believe she should get to cast fireball/charm spells and making deals with more powerful, possibly malevolent beings in order to gain power for herself is very shiv.

roman i cannot be budged on though, romey's in a support role for sure and i think the sorcerer getting magical power through their lineage is kind of antithetical to roman's whole deal. you might say by that logic why'd i say connor is a sorcerer but for connor it's kind of fittingly ironic imo. and honestly i do think wizard is actually funnier. though cleric definitely works for con, esp if this is some true high fantasy au where connor gets like shipped off to a temple so logan doesn't have to deal with him after whatever happens to his mom.

logan barbarian gerri wizard yep got it in one. ewan would be a ranger clearly. for the rest of the old guard i like frank as a paladin and karl as a fighter. karolina and hugo both bards probably...?

IF PRESSED i would assign greg rogue but it's kind of like. in any situation there's a 0% chance of him fighting or doing literally anything productive so it barely counts. tom paladin and stewy warlock are so so real to me though

[teenybeebart]

Saw a post on here a while ago about how Paladins would not be fuckin cops in modern AUs, and as someone currently playing a paladin it got me thinking about what Modern!Bug would be up to... They help run an after school art program during the day, and late at night go ghost hunting with Greg (my bf's cleric) (they're exorcists in their current campaign)

[fluorescentbrains]

succession characters’ d&d classes because i got bored on my run

logan - rogue (steals from the working class of america)

ewan - druid

shiv - wizard (sinister adviser to politicians)

roman - bard who can’t play any instruments

kendall - barbarian (can’t keep it together)

gerri - cleric (only thing keeping the company alive)

tom - oathbreaker paladin

greg - warlock (pact of the fiend) (sold his soul to tom)