#grizztar | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yourbestpalpercy · 1 year ago

Text

“That’s literally impossible, Tartar. They’re all dead! Are you absolutely sure it’s not an Inkling, Octarian or some other creature?” Mr. Grizz started to get up from his seat, placing on a coat and getting ready to head down to the metro.

“Extremely sure. They sleep like a rock so I was able to check for anything suspicious. It’s a human for sure. I-I don’t know whether to think I’m going crazy or to be extremely excited!” Mr. Grizz could already tell Tartar was bouncing up and down on the other side.

“...Fine, I’ll be down in 15 minutes, don’t forget to be careful. Remember, humans are just as dangerous as anyone else. My wolves almost went extinct at their hands. ..Though I guess it doesn’t matter nowadays…” Mr. Grizz grumbled before realizing that Tartar had already hung up. “Oh for the love of Cod…Tartar, please tell me you understand the risks…” Mr. Grizz grumbled as he left his office.

Tartar turned towards the human as they mumbled something in their sleep. ‘Stop bouncing! You look ridiculous!’ Shouted his thoughts before he grabbed the human’s hand and checked for a pulse. “Ooo, yes! You are still alive,” Tartar pulled away and readjusted his bowtie as he did. He had to look his best.

His slime covered hands were covered, right? He couldn’t imagine how this little human would feel if they saw the primordial slime all over his hands. Wished he could remove it but oh well!

OH, she’s waking up!!!

Tartar brushed his outfit off and watched them stir and stretch. “god…I’m an idiot..falling asleep in the middle of a…dark metro??” She started to slowly stand up, rubbing her eye. “Did I not learn a thing from Fern- Mother?” The human slowly looked up, seeing Tartar.

“Ah! You’re awake, gre-!” Tartar cut off when a sharp pain exploded on the side of his head. It hit the ground rather hard. Great, now it was dazed.

“Who are you!?” The pain in Tartar’s head was taking forever to ebb away. It slowly looked up at the human, she was wielding a golf club. Wh-When in the world did she get that!?

“I SAID WHO ARE YOU!? Don’t make me strike you again!” She pointed the end of the golf club at him. “C-Calm down! H-Hold your horses! Take a dam chill pill!” Tartar held up his hands. The human raised the golf club again, aiming for Tartar’s horn. “I-It’s– I’m just a t-telephone! Th-That’s m-my name actually! Telephone! Just calm down!” Tartar scooted away quickly from the human, a little more angry that the first human in forever attacked him.

“...” The human glared at Tartar before lowering her club. “Good enough, I guess. Why were you watching me sleep?” She growled.

“W-Well, you probably already know but all of humanity is extinct! I haven’t seen a human in the last 12,000 years! ..Which intrigues me..” Tartar stood up and leaned over the human, getting a curious look in his eyes. “Where did you even come from…?”

The human jabbed her club under Tartar’s head upon it getting a little too close. “And tell me why I should tell you ANYTHING!”

“I’ve been trying to bring back humanity? It’s what I was made for.”

“Ha! You’re made for transmitting calls. You’re a phone for a reason,” The human glared at Tartar. “I don’t see why I have to lie to you. I can sanitize you if I want. Human or not!” Tartar slipped off one of his gloves, revealing the slime underneath. The human looked uncomfortable upon seeing it.

“Let’s see…I have that dam monologue prerecorded somewhere…” Tartar started to crack his handle and make strange noises trying to find it. “Monol-?” Tartar held up a finger in a ‘one moment’ motion. The human crossed her arms with a huff.

“[DISABLING CONTEMPORARY SPEECH MODE]”

“I am TARTAR, an AI construct created 12,000 years ago by a brilliant professor. My prime directive is to pass on humanity’s vast knowledge on to the next worthy lifeform. When your kind became self-aware,” Tartar cracked his lever again, stopping the recording. “I don’t believe anything else is really important in that recording.”

“...Oh, well then,” The human now messed with their golf club. “Don’t expect me to tell you my name. You haven’t earned it yet…”

“Oh, I already know it! You’re Everest. Or 10,009,” Tartar folded his hands. “Having scan tools and being an AI is rather helpful.” Tartar put his glove back on, feeling confident that the human wouldn’t attack him again.

“...Don’t you ever do that again…” Everest growled and pointed the golf club at Tartar again. “I don’t think you understand that I don’t wish to hurt you, kid. I’m the Messenger of Humanity, not the Mass Murderer of Humanity,” He poked Everest’s nose. “Boop! As the kids say nowadays.”

“Oh back off, you invasive thing!”

“My point is, I want to help bring humanity back. I’m not here to harm anyone besides the scum, bile and seafood that have evolved to conquer the world left behind by the humans,” He adjusted his bowtie.

“...” Everest still didn’t seem to trust Tartar as she asked, “I should’ve stayed in the mountains…”

“The mountains! That’s where you’ve all been hiding, hm?”

“They wouldn’t take too kindly to a weird, telephone man..”

“Oh it won’t matter! I-I can change my form! I take on this form though because it looks most like an Octarian. Shocked you haven’t seen one yet, they’re everywhere underground..”

Everest started to back away at this point. Tartar made her feel a little overwhelmed with how excited he seemed to be. Humans were nothing special, so why the bouncing and cheer talk?”

“I haven’t seen a human in YEARS, centuries, decem millenniums!” Tartar exclaimed. “You’ll have to excuse how excited I am!” Tartar grabbed Everest’s hand with his own, freezing cold hands. “Hey-! Let go!” Everest yanked back, glancing at her club. “Take a chill pill, I’m not going to hurt you! How many times do I have to tell you that?”

“If you’re trying to trick me into taking you to my village, the answer is no.”

“What??? No! I- ha! I wouldn’t do that. Totes wouldn’t. You’re crazy my dude. Absolutely bonkers, home skillet!”

“Oh please, you started using way more slang, I know a trick when I hear one. You’re not going to the village.”

“Not even for a second?? Please!”

“I ran away from that place for a damn reason! I’m not going to listen to their culty BS about bowing down and offering mercy to those- those–! Those stupid waterblobs!” Everest shouted at Tartar, slightly calming him down. “They stole this planet from us and I’m not going back so I can hear more of ‘If we keep sacrificing sheep to The Leviathan, it will allow us to leave this cliffside’. I’ve grown tired of that CULT!!” Everest grabbed her hair and pulled some of it out.

“I-...I’m not going back…” Everest’s arms dropped to her side.

“A cult, hm?” Tartar picked up on Everest’s worry.

“Yes! A cult based around the bile here! I don’t want to go back, it would be better if they were all wiped out! The amount of people I’ve seen sacrificed to ‘The Leviathan’ is something else!!” Everest grabbed her head again.

“Hmm…” Tartar watched the slime run down his hand from under the glove. “Y’know, maybe you don’t have to go back. I’m willing to give you a sneak peak on my plans. I won’t even lay a finger on you if that’s what you’re scared of…” Tartar gestured Everest over.

Everest watched wearily before approaching Tartar slowly, grabbing her golf club tightly as she did. “None of the sanitized octarians should harm you. They follow my orders exactly. If I tell them not to harm you, they won’t.”

“What do you mean by sanitized?” Everest quickly asked as Tartar opened a small door in the ground. “Simple, I’m creating a primordial goop that will create the ultimate lifeform! I thought too small last time…I should’ve let 8 go. I acted in panic and anger. But this time, it’ll be proper. No one will find out until it’s too late. Especially with Mr. Grizz on my side, we’ll restore Earth to its former glory together!”

The inside of the lab was rather bright and the buzz of talking echoed through the hallways. There were a few signs of struggling, making it clear that not everyone here came here willingly. There were also dried bits of pink ink dotting the walls. When Tartar saw it, he looked disgusted and quickly ordered a nearby Sanitized Octarian to please get rid of it.

“What’s wrong with it? I thought the shade was…rather nice honestly,” Everest told Tartar, watching the octarian splat different ink over it. “No I-...” Tartar trailed off, seeing the octarian smile back at him and wander off. “...I’ll just leave it. Don’t want to hurt their feelings…” Tartar turned away to keep guiding Everest down the hallway. ‘I think mother would find me even more disappointing than she first thought. I thought that interaction was rather cute!’

Tartar soon guided Everest to a room with a large blender in the middle, full of…strange, bluegreen slime. A wave of illness and worry came over Everest. “...You don’t do what I now think you do…right?” Everest glanced at Tartar with clear sickness on her face.

“Well, tell me what you think I do first,” Tartar replied in a rather smug tone, climbing up and sitting on the top of the blender. Everest felt a little more sick as she responded.

“Uhm..well- there’s a blender for one…uh..” The idea of sacrifices fill her head. “...Please don’t tell me you pick off the octarians around you and…sacrifice them to..” Everest pointed a hand at the blender.

“Nope! Well- eh, close. The octarians around you are ones that have failed their tests. All or most of them. I select carefully. What you see here,” Tartar stood up, “Is a blend of everyone who’s succeeded in their tests! Only the most brilliant and greatest octarians end up here. It’s a blend of the most superior is what I’m saying. No one gets sacrificed. I’m not doing this for some false god. I’m doing this to create a lifeform on the level of humans!”

“...Will I end up in there some day…?”

“It’s a great-...what?” Tartar looked over the edge, down at Everest. She looked terrified. The soft glow of the sludge in the blender reflected in her eyes.“...N-No! Never! Absolutely not! I wouldn’t do that to a human!” Tartar leapt down from the blender, carefully holding Everest’s hands again, “I was actually wondering if you’d like to join me! Take back Earth from those slimy freaks above!”

Everest drew back from Tartar quickly. Luckily, he wasn't grabbing her that tightly. “I-I’m not sure I can trust you yet. …What’s in it for me?” Tartar seemed…way to ready for a reply like this. “Well, I doubt you wanna stay sleeping on that cold platform so I’ll make sure there’s a comfy place down here to rest. I’ll make sure you never have to return to your mountain cult, hm…”

Everest started to think. “I can’t let you leave after seeing this…? No, that’s too threatening and besides, you have way too much confidence. You’re the first person in years to strike me and land a good hit!” Tartar extended his hand a little.

“...I mean, all you really needed to mention was getting a nice place to sleep. The mountain is freezing. I’m shocked no one has gotten frostbite at all,” Everest slowly accepted his hand. “PERFECT! We’re in business, my home skillet!” Tartar suddenly scooped up Everest and gave her a tight hug.

“Mr. Grizz should be here so we can hopefully discuss more! Don’t worry, he might be a little intimidating at first but the bear’s a big softie! A total pushover at times even! He won’t hurt ya..” Tartar’s hug eased and it set down Everest.

“O-Oh…r-really??” Everest stumbled as Tartar left the room. “G-...Goodie..”

‘Oh Leviathan what have I gotten myself into…?’

#commander tartar #oc writing #mr. grizz #mild grizztar #grizztar #hehehehohoho #love me some good ol’ speedrunning burnout #speedrunning getting burnout

18 notes · View notes