#growing up poor and being financially insecure as an adult

[achilleansapphic]

Having adhd but also being broke and a pirate is honestly so great because when I have random hyper fixations I don’t spend money I just load up some random epub website and download a few books that I definitely and will not ever read but will tell myself I might one day

[ninja-librarian]

I don't know if this will be revealed, but how did Boyd and Louie decide to adopt Sylvie? How did Sylvie decide to choose them as her dads?

First, I want to emphasize how much Louie and Sylvie hated each other when they first went on this adventure that ended with Sylvie's adoption. Louie was mad at Sylvie for conning him when they first met, and he lashed out at her, and she lashed right back. All Sylvie knew about Louie when she first met him was that he was the great-nephew of the richest duck in the world and heir to his company, so she just assumed it was all nepotism at its finest and Louie was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, making a lot of judgements about him as a person, basically.

Once they're on the adventure, Louie gets more frustrated when Sylvie easily bonded immediately with Boyd, because... he's Boyd, he's got that way with people. Sylvie tries to hate Boyd on principle, because he's yet another adult and he's married to Louie, but finds that she can't, not when he's so genuinely nice to her and caring. Plus, he trusts her and encourages others--namely, Louie--to trust her. Sylvie tries to still keep some distance, because she's never had an adult in her life stay for very long and she's not going to get disappointed and have her heart broken again.

Sylvie and Louie each separately said something to Boyd along the lines of "I don't know how you can stand him/her." and Boyd's response is basically "He/She reminds me a lot of you." Which they both initially take offense at. Boyd tells Sylvie that there's a deeper level to Louie than she can see, and tells Louie that there must be some reason why Sylvie steals and cons--and that he thinks Louie knows deep down what that might be.

While they're on this adventure and camping out, Louie finds Sylvie is still awake near the campfire and goes to join her. He tells her about how, when he was a little kid, he didn't know that his great-uncle was Scrooge McDuck. The only family he ever had was his brothers and Uncle Donald. He tells Sylvie about growing up financially insecure, with Donald unable to hold down a job for very long and money being tight with three kids and one income when Donald did have steady employment; Donald outright owning the houseboat was the only way they kept a roof over their heads the entire time the boys were growing up. Louie saw how hard and honestly Donald worked and realized that it never amounted to anything, not when it often led to Donald being disrespected by bosses and customers, or fired over just about anything, even if something wasn't entirely Donald's fault. He figured out pretty quickly that the difference was power, and figured out that the way to get power was to have money. Working hard and honestly for it didn't seem to work for his uncle, so why should Louie bother doing the same when he could get money by being dishonest and lazy? It wasn't until he was in his teens that he realized this and could articulate how he felt and unbury some of those feelings of powerlessness as a kid, and ended up going to therapy.

Louie fully admits to Sylvie that he's done things that, looking back, he wasn't proud of, but he's glad that he was able to move past that point in his life and grow. And he apologizes to her, because he should have recognized those feelings of powerlessness and trying to change her situation in Sylvie. Sylvie is taken aback by the apology, having never had an adult apologize to her before, and though Louie gives her an opening to talk about her situation, she lies and tells him that she has a family, they're just really poor. Louie tells her that, when they get back, he'll do what he can to help her, and, knowing she'd get caught in the lie, tells him that she doesn't want his help and that she's not some charity case before storming away and going back to her sleeping bag.

Adventure continues, and Sylvie inadvertently shows off her Sharpie skills, which Louie takes note of, and when there's a big battle, Louie and Sylvie end up working together to create a plan after Louie tells her that she is sharper than the sharpies and that he knows she can figure this out, and that he's right there to help her see the angles she can't. Sylvie takes comfort in this and together they work out a plan, and save the day.

After that, things are infinitely better between Louie and Sylvie; Louie, who had been a big ball of stress for days, feels relaxed around her, and he offers Sylvie an internship of sorts upon returning to Duckburg--so long as her parents are fine with it. At which point Sylvie knows that her lie is going to get found out so she deflects and says "Thanks, but no thanks". But Sylvie feels very comfortable around Boyd and Louie, and wishes it could last forever, but doesn't tell either of them that.

When they get back to Duckburg, Sylvie tries to sneak away during the reunions. What she didn't know was that Boyd had been in contact with Daisy, asking her to find Sylvie's parents to let them know that she was safe. What Daisy found instead was Sylvie's social worker, who was not happy with Sylvie's disappearing act. Louie and Boyd see that Sylvie's being yelled at by an angry woman and rush over to defend her, and the truth comes out: Sylvie has no family, she's been in foster care pretty much her entire life, and is a repeat runaway and thief. Louie, who had told Sylvie before that she was nothing but trouble only to have her say "Yeah, I've heard that before", realizes why she's heard that before... Sylvie was told that this was the last straw, she's going to get shipped away to a boarding school for troubled kids. Sylvie says that the adventure was worth it, and thanks Louie and Boyd for taking a chance on her.

Boyd and Louie are absolutely gutted over Sylvie's situation, have some debate over whether or not they could possibly adopt her or if they should, then their parents and Drake gives them some advice and they make the decision: they can't live without Sylvie any longer, and they're going to bring her home.

Sylvie didn't know she wanted Boyd and Louie to be her dads until the moment they came for her, saying they wanted to adopt her. She who was nothing but trouble, who needed to be taught how to properly get into and out of trouble, was wanted and loved as a daughter. It was not something she'd let herself dream of having, but when the offer came, she knew it was right and said "Yes, I want to be your daughter."

And that's how the Duck-Gearloose family came to be.

[wellbeing-in-your-office]

Stress Awareness Month 2024

Stress Awareness Month 2024 - Introduction

The month of April marks Stress Awareness Month 2024 in the UK, aimed at shining a spotlight on this critical health issue. Stress is defined as the body's response to pressures from a situation or life event. When we encounter something dangerous or unsettling, our bodies activate a rapid, automatic process known as the "fight-or-flight" response. Stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol flood the body, increasing heart rate, blood pressure, and energy supplies. This prepares us to either confront or avoid the threat. Stress is an essential survival mechanism with roots deep in human evolution. But in the modern world, stress often becomes chronic and excessive, with serious impacts on mental and physical health. The pressures of work, relationships, finances, poor health, and other issues can keep us in a near-constant state of stress. This is why stress awareness and management are so important today. In our article, Stress Awareness Month 2024, we will explore the leading causes, effects, and warning signs of stress. We'll also provide helpful tips and techniques for managing stress effectively through lifestyle changes, stress-relieving activities, and seeking professional help when needed. The goal is to spread awareness and give people the tools to take control of stress before it takes control of them. https://wellbeinginyouroffice.com/5-ways-to-manage-stress-in-the-workplace 5 Ways to Manage Stress in the Workplace: The Ultimate Guide

Stress Awareness Month 2024 - Current Stress Levels in the UK

Stress is increasingly common among adults in the UK. Surveys have found high and rising stress levels over the past few years: - Stress costs the UK economy a staggering £28 billion a year. - Work is a major source of stress. In 2022, over half of working adults said work causes them stress, with the most common triggers being high demands, lack of support, and pressure to perform. - The COVID-19 pandemic had a major impact on mental health and stress. During lockdowns, reported stress levels spiked - up to 78% of UK adults in April 2020. While declining since then, stress remains high compared to pre-pandemic. - Certain demographics tend to have higher stress levels. Women, younger adults, single parents, those with long-term health issues, and lower income groups report more stress on average. - Surveys also show the UK has higher rates of work-related stress and stress-related leave compared to other European countries. Overall, research indicates stress is a growing issue affecting most UK adults. Addressing high stress levels through greater awareness and support is an important public health priority.

Stress Awareness Month 2024 - Causes of Stress

Stress can be caused by various factors in life. Some of the main causes include: Work: Having a high-pressure or demanding job with unreasonable deadlines can be a major source of stress. Feeling like you have little control over your work responsibilities or lack of support from managers leads to burnout. Job insecurity due to unstable economic conditions also induces work-related stress. Family: Balancing the demands of family life such as childcare, marital issues, or conflict among family members can be stressful. Health: Dealing with a serious injury, illness, disability, or mental health condition can cause significant stress. Caring for someone with health issues also leads to stress. Even minor health problems and lack of sleep have an impact. Finances: Money worries due to low income, debt, the rising cost of living, or poor financial management skills are key causes of financial stress. Unexpected expenses or events like job loss can also lead to financial strain. Uncertainty/Change: Major life changes like moving, pregnancy, or starting a new job are inherently stressful. The unpredictability and anxiety associated with global events or uncertain futures creates societal angst. Even small disruptions to daily routines are stressful for some. Social Media/Technology: While technology helps us connect and access information, it also comes with constant stimulation and distraction. The pressure of juggling online personas on social media also contributes to stress. Information overload and exposure to negative news online can be overwhelming.

Stress Awareness Month 2024 - Effects of Stress

Stress can have wide-ranging effects on both physical and mental health. Some of the most common effects include: - Anxiety and depression - Stress hormones can significantly increase anxiety levels and lead to depression. Chronic stress has been shown to alter brain structure and chemistry in ways that induce anxiety and depressive disorders. - Sleep issues - Stress often disrupts normal sleep patterns, leading to insomnia, restless sleep, and fatigue. The body may have trouble winding down at night due to elevated stress hormones. - High blood pressure and heart disease - Stress hormones can constrict blood vessels and raise blood pressure. Over time, chronic stress can contribute to atherosclerosis by damaging blood vessels. This can increase the risk of heart attack and stroke. - Headaches and upset stomach - Tension headaches and migraines can be commonly triggered by stress. Gastrointestinal issues like heartburn, indigestion, and irritable bowel syndrome can also be brought on or exacerbated by stress. - Difficulty concentrating - Stress impairs the prefrontal cortex, an area of the brain critical for focus, attention, and memory formation. This can make it very difficult to concentrate while under stress.

Warning Signs of Too Much Stress

Stress affects people in different ways, but there are some common warning signs that indicate your stress levels may be too high. Being aware of these signs can help you take action to manage stress before it becomes overwhelming or harmful. Anxiety, Anger, Sadness When under high stress, many people experience increased anxiety, irritability, anger, or sadness. You may feel tense, on-edge, or unable to relax. Small frustrations can set off intense reactions. Stress hormones activate the "fight or flight" response, making it easy to overreact to challenges or perceived threats. Learning to calm this response and manage emotions is an important skill. Low Motivation While some stress can initially provide motivation, excessive or prolonged stress often reduces motivation. You may feel exhausted, apathetic, or unable to focus on work or normal activities. Simple tasks seem daunting. Procrastination and neglecting responsibilities could signal rising stress. Headaches, Muscle Tension Stress commonly causes headaches and muscle tension. High stress hormone levels tense muscles and restrict blood vessels in the head. Tension headaches or migraines can result. Neck, shoulder and back pain are also common. Taking steps to relax muscles through stretching, massage or warm baths may help. Withdrawal from Others With increased stress, you may withdraw from friends, family or enjoyable activities. You may isolate yourself, feel unable to socialise, or abandon hobbies or exercise. This can worsen mood and reduce social support. Making an effort to maintain healthy social connections can improve resilience.

Stress Awareness Month 2024 - Stress Management Techniques

Managing stress is critical for overall health and wellbeing. There are many effective techniques that can help reduce stress levels and prevent negative effects. Exercise Getting regular physical activity is one of the best ways to manage stress. Exercising releases endorphins which boost mood and reduce tension. Going for a walk, run, bike ride or doing yoga are great options. Even 10-15 minutes per day can make a difference. Meditation Meditation and mindfulness practices have been shown to significantly lower stress. Taking just 5-10 minutes a day to sit quietly, focus on your breath and clear your mind can help relax both the body and mind. https://wellbeinginyouroffice.com/what-is-mindfulness-meditation What is mindfulness meditation? Yoga Yoga combines physical activity with meditation, breathing and stretching. It calms the nervous system and reduces cortisol levels. Try following along with YouTube yoga videos or attend classes in your area. Any form of yoga can aid stress relief. Time Management Getting organised, planning ahead and managing time effectively can minimise stressful feelings of being rushed, overloaded or behind. Set realistic goals, prioritise important tasks, and take things one step at a time. Talking to Friends and Family Connecting with supportive friends and family members can help reduce loneliness and release pent-up emotions. Sharing feelings and experiences allows others to provide empathy, advice and reassurance. Maintaining social connections is vital for mental health. Taking Breaks It's easy to get burned out if you don't take regular breaks. Schedule short breaks throughout the day to recharge. Go for a short walk, listen to music, meditate or do light stretches. Use your vacation and sick days as needed. Breaks boost productivity and refresh the mind. https://wellbeinginyouroffice.com/mental-health-awareness-week-2024-why-mental-health-matters Mental Health Awareness Week 2024 – Why Mental Health Matters

Stress Awareness Month 2024 - Seeking Professional Help

When stress begins impacting your ability to function and complete daily tasks, it may be time to seek professional help. Constant fatigue, anxiety, depression, anger issues, and relationship problems can all be signs that your stress levels have become unmanageable on your own. Seeing a doctor is recommended if you are experiencing any of the physical symptoms of chronic stress like headaches, stomach issues, chest pain, or high blood pressure. Your doctor can check for underlying conditions and may prescribe medications to help manage stress-related symptoms. Some common medications used for stress are antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications. Always discuss medication options thoroughly with your doctor. Speaking to a therapist or counsellor can also be very beneficial for managing stress. Talk therapy allows you to discuss what's causing your stress, learn coping techniques, and make positive changes. Cognitive behavioural therapy in particular is effective for stress by identifying unhelpful thought patterns and behaviours that contribute to feeling overwhelmed. If the cost of therapy is holding you back, check if your employer provides an employee assistance program with counsellor visits included. Your local university likely has a clinic with reduced-cost counselling by supervised graduate students. There are also many therapists who offer sliding scale fees based on your income level. Don't let finances deter you from seeking help if you need it.

Stress Awareness Month 2024 - Lifestyle Changes to Reduce Stress

Making positive lifestyle changes can significantly reduce stress levels and improve overall wellbeing. Small adjustments to daily habits and routines can have a big impact over time. Healthy Diet and Exercise Routine Eating a nutritious, balanced diet and getting regular exercise provides the body and mind with the energy needed to deal with stressful situations. Aim for a diet full of vegetables, fruits, whole grains, lean protein, nuts and seeds. Try to limit processed foods, sugars and saturated fats. Develop an exercise routine that incorporates cardio and strength training for 30-60 minutes most days of the week. Even short 10 minute walks a few times a day can relieve stress. https://wellbeinginyouroffice.com/benefits-of-exercise-for-mental-health Benefits of Exercise for Mental Health – The Ultimate Guide Set Boundaries at Work It's important to set reasonable expectations and limits with job duties, hours and communication outside of work. Learn to say no to extra projects that would create excessive stress. Ask for flexibility to adjust your schedule when needed. Take full lunch breaks and avoid working late when possible. Practice Mindfulness Mindfulness activities like meditation, deep breathing exercises, yoga and journaling can lower stress hormone levels. Even 5-10 minutes per day can make a difference. Being present in the moment helps clear the mind of anxious thoughts about the past or future. Apps like Calm provide great guided meditations. Unplug from Technology Constant emails, social media and screen time can heighten stress and anxiety. Set limits on when and where you use technology and take frequent digital detoxes. Power down devices an hour before bed and avoid screens first thing when waking up. Spend time offline enjoying hobbies, walking outdoors or connecting with loved ones. Disconnecting provides mental space. Making lifestyle adjustments to better manage stress takes commitment, but is well worth the effort. With time, positive habits will increase energy, focus and resilience when facing daily stressors.

Stress Awareness Month 2024 - Organisations for Stress Support

There are several excellent organisations in the UK that provide resources and support for managing stress. Mind Mind is a leading mental health charity that offers information and support to empower anyone experiencing a mental health problem. Their services include: - Infoline - Provides information on types of mental health issues, where to get help, medication and alternative treatments. Can be reached at 0300 123 3393 or text 86463. - Peer support - Links people up with others who've had similar experiences to provide one-on-one support. - Local Minds - A network of over 140 local Minds providing services like counselling, peer support, advocacy and more. Find your local Mind here. Rethink Mental Illness Rethink Mental Illness is a charity supporting those affected by mental health problems. They offer: - Advice and Information Service - Provides practical help on issues like the Mental Health Act, treatments, care services and more. Phone 0300 5000 927. - Peer support groups - Run by trained facilitators for people to share experiences in a safe environment. Search for groups here. - Online community - Moderated online groups on topics such as families, teens and more. Join here. Samaritans The Samaritans offer 24/7 emotional support for anyone struggling or in distress: - Helpline - Reach trained volunteers by phone 24/7 on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org. - Self-help app - Provides tips and techniques to improve emotional wellbeing and manage difficult thoughts. Download for free here. - Local branches - Over 200 branches across the UK provide face-to-face support. Find your nearest branch here.

Stress Awareness Month 2024 - Spreading Stress Awareness

Stress Awareness Month is the perfect time to get involved and help spread awareness about this important issue. Here are some ideas for how you can make a difference: Use Social Media - Share facts, tips, and infographics about stress on your social platforms. Use hashtags like #StressAwarenessMonth to connect with others. - Follow mental health organisations on social media and reshare their content. This spreads their message to new audiences. - Share your own experiences with stress (if comfortable) to inspire others who may be struggling. Host Local Events - Organise a community walk, meditation session, or other stress-reducing activity. - Partner with local businesses like yoga studios to offer stress-relief workshops. - Hold lectures or panels with mental health experts to educate people on stress management. Volunteer - Look for volunteer opportunities at stress support organisations to raise awareness of their mission. - Offer to share your skills by designing materials, helping with social media, or assisting with local events. Donate - Donate to mental health charities and non-profits that provide stress services in your community. - Fundraise by organising a campaign online or creating a stress awareness product and donating the proceeds. By getting involved in Stress Awareness Month 2024, you can play an important role in spreading understanding of this health issue while supporting those affected by stress. Small actions can make a big difference!

Stress Awareness Month 2024 - Conclusion

It's clear the issue of stress, particularly stress in the workplace, remains a crucial one that continues to impact a large portion of UK adults. Through understanding its causes and effects, adopting helpful stress management techniques, and amplifying available support systems, we can reduce its negative impact on our everyday lives. We have examined various causes of stress, from job insecurity and familial responsibilities to adverse health conditions and financial strain, and listed the physical and psychological effects, including anxiety, depression, sleep disorders, and more. However, we also have presented several coping mechanisms from exercise, meditation, and effective time management to securing professional assistance when necessary. Beyond individual efforts, societal and organisational support play a pivotal role in managing stress. UK has a wide range of organisations such as Mind, Rethink Mental Illness, and the Samaritans that provide resources and help for people struggling with stress. And, as we have seen, your active participation in Stress Awareness Month can spread understanding and assist in destigmatising this health issue. In conclusion, while stress is part of everyday life, the impact of chronic, excessive stress can be mitigated. Read the full article

[meditating-dog-lover]

Redpilling myself - things I need to achieve but am too scared to

So I feel like I have achieved a lot in my life and am successful. I've made a lot of great accomplishments that I should be proud of. As a result, I am in a great place in my life right now and can see this being the case for years to come.

Whether it was doing well in school, going to a great college, attaining an MS degree, leaving my dad's country, gaining freedom from my dad and his family, living in a stable household in the US, working a successful and respected job, learning about financial responsibility and saving money, taking care of my health, working on my looks, becoming a nicer person, socializing, etc... these have all been outstanding accomplishments. But there are 2 I still need to face.

Confidence in my looks (style, clothes, and makeup). I have terrible style because I have very poor confidence and self-image. Everyone has insecurities, but mine are severe. I've struggled with body dysmorphia in the past too and still kind of do (but it's gotten better). It's a shame because I'm not an ugly person at all. I just need to work on this. I've done some degree of glowing up this year, by coloring and styling my hair differently, receiving professional skin treatments, doing my eyebrows and nails at home, and teeth straightening and whitening (my 300$ toothbrush helped with this). I started taking supplements as well which helped a lot with my skin, hair, and nail health. They also helped with sugar and junk food cravings, and this helped keep me physically healthy. I do want to work on my physical activity and improve my posture. I bought a jump rope and I plan to use it frequently because my body type needs high-intensity cardio (like running but I'm not a fan) to stay lean and slim. I might even consider meeting with a personal trainer to discuss all my goals, etc... Plus my posture needs improvement, but I can deal with that along with my continuous jump-roping habit. At the very least, my facial posture has improved since I can now comfortably nasal breathe thanks to my tongue-tie release. But what I'm very uncomfortable with is clothes and makeup. I have poor confidence, do I don't feel comfortable or willing to wear nice clothes and makeup. Because I don't feel "pretty" or "fit" enough to wear them. Again this ties in with deep-rooted poor self-image and this is something I need to discuss in therapy.

I am scared of dating. I can socialize fine for the most part, though I can get frigid because I am worried I'm going to say something I might deem shameful or be judged probably because I care so much about what people think about me and because my parents raised me to be so concerned with image and how I look. That's another thing I need to address in my life - to let go of that shame my parents raised me with. But dating, I am even too scared to form and develop romantic feelings for people. You need to be completely vulnerable and open to someone to develop feelings for them. When you're frigid and anxious and have poor self-esteem, it's not going to work out effectively. Shame is one thing I need to work on, as well as my debilitating anxiety. And I need to work on 1 because it ties in a lot with self-confidence and I need to be happy and confident in and love myself before I can be happy and confident in and love others. I can genuinely say I feel anxious, shameful, frigid, and poor-confidence in myself. That needs to sort itself out, otherwise, I'll project the same emotions onto others who I am supposed to love. Also I cannot blame everything on my dad now as an adult, but he never let me date growing up which prevented me from being exposed to that environment. He made me miss out on a lot of opportunities when I was younger, unfortunately. But as an adult, it's my responsibility to be free from him and make up for what he prevented me from being exposed to as someone who had no agency of their own at the time due to being a minor. Now I'm an adult and have the freedom to sort this out.

This will work out, just as the other issues in my life did. No one alive has their shit 100% figured out, myself included. But I can take some steps in the right direction to correct any deficiencies and insecurities I have. This will be tough but I'm here for the challenge. Even if it takes a while and needs to be handled in small steps and increments. Again these 2 main things are what I should be discussing in therapy, if anything.

[mochikeiji]

Exact Replica

Request: "Hi! I really love you're writing and was wondering if you could do prompt 25+29 for Kuroo Tetsuro from Haikyuu? And could it be angst to fluff? (Maybe Kuroo was ignoring the reader due to lots of work/stress so reader feels neglected?) It's totally up to you tho! Ty so much!!"

25. "Would you notice if I was gone?"

29. "I didn't mean it."

↠ Pairing: Kuroo Tetsuro x F!Reader

↠ Warning: angst to fluff, mentions of pregnancy and kuroo's sad childhood

↬ Word Count: 3.7k

↠ a/n: okay this is my longest one yet. I swear the prompt screams angst to fluff so much that I go into it.

↳ from Go! Go! Gogatsu Event

Kuroo Tetsuro achieved many great things in life after graduating from his university, with multiple acknowledgements and honors. Landed a position as a young CEO from a sports association at the age of 24, he had enough money in his pocket and bank to stable both of you financially. Life was good to him after having to build from the roots  of his ruined childhood; the only years of defeat Kuroo doesn't ever want to repeat. His father and mother were in the same position as you both are; owning your own shared house, good working environment, investments and stability, married.

Up until this day Kuroo questions why his parents split. They were fortunate that they had every thing completed, sadly it was the family and love that wasn't taken care of. You could be the happiest person, yet the void inside would still be there, Kuroo thought. Foolish people were to neglect something more valuable than any object that is given. Whether it was his father or his mother that stopped nurturing what they both bonded for the longest time, they were both fools to let each other go over something simple. He vows to never let history repeat itself.

But now the tables seemed to have flipped for the both of you. Your lives not far from what he had ran away from. If Kuroo could eat his words back, he would've now that he was running late yet again to coming home, forgetting about the promise he swore to about joining you after a full month of being occupied in his office. Coming home to have you already tucked in bed, but suffering in silence.

Most days he didn't bother greeting you in the morning and night. As a good wife, you understand. He was a busy man with an important position to maintain.

There were times where you'd be tapping your foot down on the floor as the clock strikes at an ungodly hour with your messages still not bothered to be replied to or even read. But you understand. He's working! Always doing what he can for the both of you like the good husband he wanted to be.

Even if sometimes he'd come home without a kiss or a simple, "I missed you." you understand. He's drained. No time for silly, endearing affections. You've done them a lot before back when you were younger. You're adults! Married! A married partner shouldn't be feeling so needy when the other was only doing their part.

Even when sometimes your insecurities would kick in whenever you'd visit your husband to drop his forgotten lunch again, only to see him flocked by different women; probably secretaries, interns, and assistance.

You understand. You always did took such good care of what you two have.

Well had.

His home office door slams shut, awakening you from your nap on the couch. Didn't Kuroo notice you when he walked in? Looking at the clock you noticed it was near 11:30 PM since he's arrived. Late again, maybe he hasn't eaten anything? No worries, you thought sadly. Stretching your aching muscles, you made your way to the dining area. So far dinner was left untouched once more. Just how many times has it gone to waste because you continued on cooking for two?

Or rather, three.

You beam at the sudden reminder while preparing your husband's plate. You'd always miss him whenever he'd come home, never had the chance to surprise him at the right time of your little discovery about a week ago. Fear did struck you because of the possible reactions he'd give, but you were so excited in sharing the news that a couple would share the equal happiness from, you couldn't contain it any longer.

Maybe you should've chosen another time unbeknownst to you how your husband was hunched over his desk, clearly in displease of the previous events that had occurred during the meeting back in his office. Hence why his work stack added more piles of predicaments, only fueling his headaches more wishing he could just lay down peace and quiet without disturbance.

He grumbles at the knock on his door, only typing furiously with emphasized taps on the keyboard. You, not sensing the emitting aura from the room took it as a response for you to enter. It surprised you a bit on how disordered his home office had become. It was obvious his coat had been thrown carelessly as it lays on the floor, wrinkled. Carefully placing the plate full of food on the small coffee table at the side, you gingerly picked up the article of clothing. Lightly trying to smoothen out the lines before hanging it behind his door and turning back to your husband.

"Tetsu?" cautiously calling out his name, you were kind of wary at the fact he didn't turn to see you unlike he does before whenever you'd enter the room. "I brought you your dinner. You came home pretty late." you tried to maintain the light hearted tone of your voice to hide how nervous you were in telling him the big news.

The atmosphere was kind of eerie when all he did was hum meekly from your words. Feeling a bit disheartened from his lack of attentiveness, still forcing a smile, you padded a little closer behind him with your hands clasps together. "I also wanted— well needed to tell you something." averting your eyes away from him as you prepared in your head. With a small hope he'd turn around for once after a long time.

"Can it be another time? I'm in the middle of stuff here."

Another time.

Why is it always next time? It's frustrating enough to not see him or have him speak to you even for a moment, but this made your stomach churn in an unpleasant way. Frowning at his poor reply, you gulped a few of your sentence back. Not fully trusting your emotions getting in the way, "You never really talked to me before, Tetsu.. I get that you're busy, but it wouldn't hurt for you to give a little minute for me."

Even just a second as long as he'd finally notice you.

"(Y/n) if you understand then why bother? You can clearly see I'm busy." chest huffing out a harsh sigh, still not bothering to turn around. Gripping your hands tightly, your patience were starting to snap. "You're always busy, Tetsu! I never had a proper conversation with you again." raising the volume of your voice a little made his actions come to a halt. Chair revolving around to face you. His appearance made it obvious how exhausted he has been; tousled hair that he usually takes longer to style, the light forming bags underneath his eyes from the screen and lack of sleep. The visible annoyance marked in his expression. But couldn't he say the same for you?

"Fine. Here, you have my attention now. Are we talking properly now?" his way of provoking you wasn't in the right place. It only made you look at him in disbelief because you've grown to never meet such side of your husband before. The news you had originally planned to share vanished from your head, replaced with the restrained emotions that has been building up inside your heart, tipping over.

"Tetsu, what is wrong with you?" looking at him now seemed like you were talking to someone else. His words were curt and short with no intention of prolonging the conversation, itching to get back to work so he could be done with it. "I already you I'm just busy. I would be done by now if you didn't want to talk properly with me." he says as if he's the one in distraught. "Seriously, nothing's wrong but I think you aren't. You're never like this."

"That's because you never cared to noticed in the first place!" wailing out the collapsed emotions that has weighed you heavily. It was too late to stop yourself from voicing out the things your husband left aside. A full month of being a good, understanding image of a wife thrown away to the rubbles without even appreciating the the long nights of you waiting up for him, cooking meals even though the next day they'd end up being in the trash, tolerating the coldness of the used to be warm sheets, putting up with the insecurities you took upon yourself to hide to avoid troubling your husband further when all you wanted was for him to assure you that he still loves you and only you.

The fascade you put up just for him crumbles. And it infuriates you more of how he still doesn't notice.

"(Y/n), you know I've been working! There's so much stuff that needs to be attended for just so you and I could live normally!"

"Tetsuro, we are stabled, it's okay to slow down a bit. How is this any normal to you when you don't even realize how this affects me?!"

The chair slides back roughly against the floor with a loud creak as he towers over you. Glowering eyes with a dark expression looming over his face, clearly now enraged. "You're being selfish right now. I'm here doing what I can to support us and all you could think of was you, you, you. Can't you see I'm doing this for you as well? God what else do you want from me, the world?"

"I only wanted you to give me your time and attention even just for a second, Tetsuro! I've been doing my best for you all this month and I never said anything to trouble you!"

It hurts when he said how you were being the selfish one when it was the opposite. It dawned to you that all those days of giving your all for him wasn't once noticed. "Will you ever grow up already? Attention? Really? We're adults, (Y/n) not teenagers for fucks sake. My time is just wasted because of you!" he doesn't stop there even if you've had your mouth already shut from how he portrayed you as. His words were beginning to leave a deep scar in you as you quiet down to the next line.

"If you think that nothing is troubling me, there is! And you just happen to add in for crying out loud!"

There were no words exchanged after his meltdown. Pinching the bridge of his nose, he looks away from you— who's eyes were already watery. Unable to even tell your side anymore at the ache of your heart. "So..I'm just troubling you then?" quivering out your words, Kuroo clenches his jaw as the bubbling frustration was being held back with the last bit of restrain he had.

"Would you notice if I was gone, Tetsu?"

Instead of being alarmed by your chosen form of sentence, you watched with sad eyes as your husband pulled back his chair and faced his workload. He didn't even noticed you're already crying silently, "Not now, (Y/n). We'll talk later."

He doesn't even noticed how you walked out sobbing with a shattered heart nor the door in the living room closing. Leaving him alone for the next few hours in peace like he wanted.

Time went on quickly when one doesn't take their eyes off from their consecutive workaholic state. With a groan, he almost slams his laptop shut before stretching his bones, slowly relaxing the tense muscles. It's up to his co workers and assistance to deal with the load he's prepared to dump onto them after they threw all theirs to him. Hoping to freshen up his face, Kuroo tidies his desk up before making his way to the door. Stopping in realization of the now cold dinner that was left on the coffee table.

His stomach growled loudly at the lack of food it's digested in the longest run. It was still good if he heats it up, he does miss eating home made meals than his stale ones back in the cafeteria of his workplace. Grabbing the plate carefully he first made a short journey to the kitchen to heat up his food. Unusual it was to have all the lights out in the house. You'd always leave some opened when he was awake. Then again the guilt started to crawl up to his chest knowing he's the cause of why you'd forgotten.

Now entering the bathroom with water running down his face, he plans ahead the apology he owes you when he wakes up tomorrow morning. He could reschedule his own time since he is the boss. He closes the faucet right after he was done rinsing. Looking around for the towel his eyes caught something below the small organizer you put up next to the sink. Grabbing the towel above the first part of the organizer, bending down slowly to avoid getting cramps, his actions were quick to grab the object that caught his attention the moment it seemed so familiar and surprising.

Pregnancy test. Two lines for positive.

Having a child with you was the last thing he's yet to accomplish from his list, and here it was. As much as he wanted to be in denial, it all felt like surge of contentment drowns him in because he was going to be a dad. However his body began to tremble whilst still holding the test and staring intently at it. The previous guilt that was crawling beneath his bones became a dark, desolated hole of anxiety and fear that ate him whole. The things he's said and done will never be taken back no matter how he apologizes to the past events a few hours ago.

Hours ago. It was already 2:25 when the fight had ceased. Deep down he knows he couldn't wait until the next day to plead for forgiveness. After all, he did vow to never leave you both a day feeling heavy alone. Kuroo felt nauseous of how much of an asshole he had treated you. Like starting a game of volleyball once more, he was beyond nervous when he approached your shared bedroom. There was no excuse of his actions indeed as he solemnly enters the dimmed room. He sighs a little shaky when he closes in your bed, "Baby?" he starts, "Baby, are you awake?" it was one of the little things he's memorized that you'd do when you both aren't in good terms. You never really slept, just pretended because you always had the heart to wait up for him.

When he gets no response he reaches out to pat you, only coming to the sense that the sheets were left untouched; no warmth traced behind. You weren't there, any where. His blood runs cold and immediately fishes out for his phone in his pocket, speed dialing your number while he circles the entire area of the house in case you'd be there. Now he was more terrified when he hears the familiar voice mail from the living room couch where you had slept while waiting for him.

You left your phone. His wife wasn't home— his pregnant wife.

"Fuck." running a rough hand through his tangled hair. The lump on his throat grows but he refuses to let out a string of sobs. It was his fault you were gone at such an ungodly hour. Kuroo felt more than a bigger asshole than before he's made you come to the point of leaving home. Just as his mother did and never returned. The one thing he swore you two would never be the same came to life, only thought now is Kuroo doesn't know whether you've left him for good after being a neglectful husband and to have dishearten his own beloved wife like that.

"Would you notice if I was gone?"

Rang in his head as he stood outside the neighborhood, running. Chasing after a hallucinated image of you any place he tried to remember you'd be in. A fool he has been to have left you in a loveless marriage. He loves you, he really does. He can't imagine a life without you in it. Just as it was about to become the happiest he's wanted, he pushed it all too soon. A bad husband, he cries. "(Y/n), please come home." legs aching and panting from having to study all areas. It was pitch black; there were no opened spots for you to even go at an hour of slumber and chaos. The only convenient store did not even have you in it. You were no where to be seen and Kuroo breaks.

Of course he'd notice when it was all too late. The past he's ran away from was still the place he's returned now that the house was only occupied by nothing but rotten memories of the love he didn't took care of. The exact replica of a married life he desperately tried to dodge. "I'm so sorry." for the lonely nights he's left you to sleep, over thinking of what may have been your fault and always figuring him out tirelessly. For the small efforts of adoration he didn't took a glance at and gone to waste. For the words that were never even meant for you to ever feel. For being a neglectful husband. He was sorry he noticed too late how he ruined his precious wife.

Now he's left you on your own out in the dangers outside. If anything horrible happened to you he will forever be crushed. But the world thinks that second chances are given to those who truly deserve them after you came in quietly, slipping off your sandals and waving back to your friend who had dropped you off home. Your short break to the convenient store changed when you met up with her and drove back to her place to rant about what happened. Being the sluggish person you are whenever sadness hits, you never noticed how long you've over stayed. It wasn't like your husband was going to know if he still was working.

Much to your surprise that he wasn't, you stifled a gasp to find him with his hands holding his head that was leaned down on the table. His shoulders were lightly jolting with escapes of audible sniffles, indicating that he was in fact crying. If he looked exhausted before, it wasn't enough to describe his current state; as if he was a man who'd lost every thing as he sat there with all hope lost. Your foot padded on the creaky part of the floor in attempt to tiptoe over his hunched back to comfort him. Squeaking in the awkward situation you've put the room in when Kuroo turns his head behind to see you standing there a bit frightened, but concerned when you saw how disheveled his face looks.

"Tetsu—" his name got cut off short from when you almost tripped over your balance at the sudden impact of Kuroo throwing himself into your arms with his weight. You couldn't make out what he was mumbling on about, but you melt to his embrace even if he squeezes the living day lights from you, afraid that he was going crazy and you weren't real. "Thank God," litters of kisses were placed on your clavicle, "You're back."

He repeats, slowly convincing himself that you are indeed home in his arms, safe, no harm detected. Just home. "I'm so sorry.."

"I didn't mean it. I didn't mean any of what I said, I-I'm so sorry." your bodies swayed gently to the sound of your hushes and his cries of apologies. "Please don't leave me like that again. I was so scared."

"Shhh, it's okay, Tetsu. I'm sorry. I'm okay— we're okay." leading him to sit down at the couch, you placed the bag of different brands of sweets and junk on the table before facing your husband. You had to stifle in a laugh watching him wipe his nose, you couldn't help but be reminded of a mini Tetsuro by looking at him. The argument that stung you faded when he took a hold of your hands and mumbled another apology.

"You shouldn't be sorry for anything. I should be.." flickering his eyes from your belly to your bloodshot eyes from your own fiasco back in your friend's place, he slides in closer next to you where your shoulders touched. "I haven't been a good husband lately, have I?" he looks at you expectantly. Frowning, you still nodded. Tired of hiding your own feelings from him.

"I know you're busy most of the time, Tetsu. But I just wanted you to recognize me as your wife." thumbs quick to swipe away the tear that had shed from your eye, "We're in this together, remember?" he pulls you right from the arm, shoving your face to his chest in need to hold you for all the times he should've. Ignoring the dampness of his white long-sleeved polo, breathing in the scent of your sweet shampoo. You were still so forgiving and understanding despite on how equally tired as he was you are.

"I'm so sorry I've made you feel as if I never cared anymore. You never deserved that." his lips found it's way to the crown of your head. "I don't deserve you, and I really don't want to lose you after me being stupid." giggling through tears, fist connecting a soft punch on his chest, bubbling a chuckle to the surface as he lightly pulls you away from hiding.

"I really didn't mean all of those things I've said, baby. I love you and only you." stroking ever so lovingly your cheek, you don't catch on to the fact that his other hand was placed over your stomach protectively. Making a silent promise to not only you, but the soon to be new addition to the family that he will never again neglect what he should've cherished more and looked after than the constant worries at the back of his head.

Because he will never again repeat the replica of a broken family he once was born in.

© all content belongs to mochikeiji. Please do not repost or copy, ありがとうございました!! (=^･^=)

[ailuronymy]

Do you think a cat becoming mates with their leader (when they are already leader, not beforehand) is more likely to spurn a power imbalance in the relationship? I think it's a bit different if the cats trained together and were close/mates before one became leader, like in the case of Firestar and Sandstorm. But say they only started growing closer after the fact, and/or there's a significant age gap. Would the warrior be urged to get with someone on their "level"?

Hello there! Thank you for writing in. I’m a little confused, though--I don’t think “spurn” is the word you’re looking for? 

Anyway, this is an interesting question because the leader is the most powerful cat in the clan, politically speaking. There’s a rule in the code that even states “the leader’s word is law,” which means that ultimately what the leader says--and what the clan accepts--goes. Given that “a power imbalance” is a situation wherein one person has more power than the other, every relationship the leader has is one with a power imbalance in the leader’s favour, romantic or otherwise. 

This is true regardless of whether the cats grew up together, or trained together, or are the same age. Being friends for years before being partners doesn’t actually make any impact on the structures of power at play in the relationship. The leader is endowed with power that no other cat in the clan has, and is institutionally supported (insofar as the clan is a form of institution) in their authority. When we talk of a power imbalance in interpersonal relationships, it’s often helpful to look at the structure of where power comes from and how it can be exerted, rather than looking at the superficial factors alone. 

For instance, one person in a relationship having significantly more money than the other can be a power imbalance, not because of the money itself but because that money means that person can afford to leave the relationship. They are financially supported and able to be independent even if the relationship ends; they are not reliant--at any point--on their partner for financial support in order to get what they need to live. If both people in the relationship are financially well-off and stable, the fact one partner earns more is not often an issue. 

However, if one partner earns/has more money but their partner has very little or no money, that power imbalance can become concerning. That’s because the power falls heavily on the richer partner’s side, and the poor partner--who is reliant upon the other, or otherwise less protected by wealth--is at far greater risk of being manipulated because of that disparity. If the poor partner’s well-being and security is reliant upon keeping the moneyed partner happy, that is a dangerous power imbalance. It is also how women for much of history were disempowered and forced into marriage, and then kept in unhappy marriages. 

Age gaps are another form of power imbalance, but typically one that intersects significantly with finance. If you’re older, you’re more likely to have saved money, to have ongoing work or hereditary wealth, to have a bigger network of professional influence, and overall be more stable--e.g., might have equity in a house, or significant savings. Likewise, you will also have valuable life experience. If you’re younger, you are far less likely to have any of these things. Which means as the younger person (and specifically a young person) in a partnership with an older person, the dynamic is more likely to be more similar to the above financial example of disparity, rather than that of equals. 

That’s why a 20-year-old dating a 30-year-old is often concerning, but a 30-year-old dating a 40-year-old is nothing, even though those are the same age gap. In the former example, someone very newly in their twenties is starting out as an adult with limited life experience and maturity (and probably little to speak of as far as professional development and finances), whereas thirty years old is a full-grown adult with a decade more of experience. In the latter example, that same age gap isn’t really noteworthy, because as you get older, those years become far more homogenous in terms of your development. 

The reason I’m saying all this is because:

1. nearly every relationship is a power imbalance in some way, because relationships are complex; 2. a power imbalance is not necessarily dangerous, because power is complex and it can change form and relevance in different contexts; 3. power doesn’t come from nowhere--it is constructed, and it’s important to recognise what a power imbalance actually is, rather than assuming by rote that power always looks the same in every context.

To bring it back to Warriors, the leader is a figure of unparalleled power in their clan. The next closest, arguably, is the medicine cat, but even then, the medicine cat’s power and authority is expressed differently and hinges on the approval and support of the leader in many instances. So it’s just not possible for the leader to have an equal relationship with another cat, in terms of power. 

However, there are so many other factors that also impact relationships and that should be considered when thinking about power. The leader’s mother or mentor, for example, might have social influence over the leader, because of the dynamic of their relationship. A loud, popular senior warrior who vocally disagrees with the leader’s decisions and has many fans and supporters in the clan exerts political pressure on the leader. The medicine cat, particularly an older and wiser one, who acts as an advisor might not have power over a young or inexperienced or insecure leader, but will likely have significant influence. 

I haven’t really answered your specific questions because I think it’s something you’re better off thinking through yourself and figuring out what’s right for you. As I said in this recent reply, how your clans think about and have relationships is something only you can determine, so I can’t really shine any insight into that beyond what I’ve already done. Hopefully what I’ve said here is useful to you! 

[queerhawkeyes]

I realized in therapy today that growing up poor/financially insecure is still fucking things up. so in case I haven’t complained about this in a while I think going to law school was a (potentially unjustified) risk on my part, with huge financial consequences. and this is making it hard to commit to being here when I sort of think it was a mistake. there are layers to this anxiety onion but the one I was overlooking could be titled Worrying About the Electric Bill When You are Eight Years Old Has Consequences for Your Adult Relationship to Money. which is to say that maybe I am uncomfortable with debt and risk because my mother was incredibly impulsive and also a single parent to 4+ kids and it made our finances super rocky and we didn’t always have enough--so turning down a debt free existence just because this will potentially give me more options later seems like an unjustified risk compared to the chance at stability.

anyways lots to think about, lots to blame on my mother’s untreated mental illness and addiction.

[themanicnami]

Dream Interpretation: Teeth

What is Dream Interpretation?

It is assigning meaning to dreams, meaning using what one dreams of and the symbols, objects and events of the dream to relate them to the psychological, emotional and sometimes spiritual state of the dreamer. Some use it as a way to divine and predict the future while others use it to help assess their emotional states and subconscious thoughts they may be ignoring in waking life.

General Overview and Meaning

In most dreams, teeth are related to several different feelings and thoughts. Though, dreams where teeth are missing, damaged, rotting or broken tend to be the most common themes when it comes to teeth dreams. This is because teeth themselves are a symbol of inner emotions/thoughts, our voices and spoken words as well as our appearances. Often when we feel these things were damaged or disrespected, it comes through as dreams relating to our teeth.

Specific Dream Situations

Pulling Teeth:

Your own - pulling out your own teeth means you are embarrassed or ashamed of your behavior or words. You could also be feeling distressed over something you said to another, and can’t stop dwelling on it.

Another - when another is pulling out your teeth, that person may be trying to get something out of you in waking life like honesty or an apology.

Stranger - a stranger pulling out your teeth means you are conflicted about a choice or decision that you need to make.

Dentist - a dentist pulling out your teeth means you are holding in the truth and its starting to wear on your conscious. 

Rotting Teeth: Rotting teeth symbolize anxieties and fears in our waking life that we are repressing deep down. It can also relate to the feeling that you are being judged by others or stage-fright.

Broken or Chipped Tooth: In some dreams this may relate to feeling like you are uneducated on a topic or that you are in the dark of a situation or choice you have to make in your waking life. It may also relate to money stress. You may also be feeling insecure about your social standing and how others are perceiving you lately.

Someone is Breaking Your Teeth: You feel like your personal reputation and image is being slandered by another.

Crumbling Teeth/Teeth Turn to Dust: Most often it means the dreamer has anxieties or fears about aging/getting older.

Teeth Falling Out: these are the most common type of teeth dreams with several meanings.

Vanity - Your anxieties about your appearance or how others view you are coming to the surface; you are feeling “ugly” in your waking life

Communication - You feel like you’re struggling to convey emotions and thoughts to others. Sometimes it may relate to a speech impediment the dreamer has in waking life. It may also relate to feeling like everything you say or your opinions are being ignored or brushed off.

Embarrassment - You may have fears of being embarrassed or making a fool of yourself in front of others, particularly those you respect. Often you are anxious when your teeth fall out during the dream and will be in front of others who will take notice of this event and likely point it out.

Powerless - Teeth are often shown as a symbol of power in many cultures and mythology so when one loses their teeth it may relate to feeling powerless in a situation or conflict

Health - Those with poor diets have been found to have dreams about losing their teeth statistically more than others.

Death - The dreamer may be currently in the throws of mourning over a loved one who has passed. (see also divination below)

Money - Some relate losing teeth in their dream to money, specifically gaining new money much like to lore of tooth fairies giving children money for missing teeth.

Deception - In some cultures it is common to warn children that lying will make their teeth fall out, due to this, in some cultures dreams of losing teeth relate to the fact that the dreamer is lying to someone and is feeling guilty over it.

False Teeth: The dreamer feels “fake” and not like themselves currently. May be struggling with finding themselves.

Spitting Out Teeth: Often relates to a bruised ego and feeling down and embarrassed over a mistake or failure that has occurred.

Cavities/Tooth Pain: May relate to the dreamer physically grinding their jaw and teeth at night. It may also relate to something you recently said that you regret and wish to take back.

Root Canal: You are very emotionally distressed right now. A long term issue or problem is getting worse and you need to stop ignoring it and take care of it.

Dentist: Dreaming about a dentist in a positive light relates to needing to focus more on your health in waking life or resting more. Dreaming negatively about a dentist or having a nightmare about them often relates to a waking fear or phobia of dentists.

Getting Braces: You feel like you have to be careful right now and like you need to step carefully to avoid being ridiculed or singled out by others.

Breaking Braces/Braces Falling Off: You are very embarrassed by something and are stuck dwelling on it.

Brushing Teeth: You feel “dirty” emotionally and mentally and wish to clean up. May also relate to worrying over something minor.

Growing New Teeth: growing new strong and healthy teeth, especially if an adult, means you are feeling very confident in your career/job as well as feeling like you have a grasp on things.

Fangs: To dream of having fangs or animal teeth relates to anger and aggression in your waking life. You are getting pushed to the edge of lashing out and “biting”. If they are vampire fangs may relate to feeling sexually frustrated without an outlet.

Tooth Fairy: encountering or seeing the tooth fairy in your dream means you have been working very hard and are now waiting for others to take notice and reward you.

Jar of Teeth: Relates to feeling sexually driven and wanting to be more aggressive during intercourse.

Gold Teeth: To see or have gold teeth means you feel desperate for money or financial stability in your waking life.

Divination

Often when it comes to teeth many dreamers report, for decades now, that they have dreams of their teeth falling out or bleeding right before a family tragedy or death in the family. Though, dreams of damaged teeth are the most common of teeth dreams and not always related to death, it does make it common enough that some dream diviners tell others to be wary if these dreams occur often or leave you with a sinking feeling when waking up. Having your teeth regrow or come back in a dream means financial gain is on the horizon.

**all sources for this post come from numerous book resources, online archives, personal experience and personal grimoires.**

Like what I do/post? Interested in letting me know? Feel free to buy me a coffee!

[astroluve]

Saturn in the houses 🌒

Saturn in the 1st house: This can usually make the person rather a serious one, whether it be that they are at or just reserved. This person will want to make sure that they have built a structured foundation around themselves, a very well built life for them. They feel very responsible for themselves and actions, their self discipline is like no others. Early on you might think they are much older than they actually are.

Saturn in the 2nd house: This placement of Saturn can usually make a person easily minimal when it comes to finances or living, they might’ve been born into a poor family. This person will be slow to things, such as building their lives and financial state, they will take it day by day and do it right. They can even become workaholics in certain cases. This can bring wealth later in life, when they are older.

Saturn in the 3rd house: This placement of Saturn usually causes this person to start talking and communicating later than other kids. They might have a rather slow and careful speech or be very shy to express their thoughts. They could have speech defects even, growing up or into their adult life. This person can also struggle with education, their focus might be other places rather than school.

Saturn in the 4th house: Usually, Saturn in the 4th house brings an unhappy childhood. Growing up they might have felt lonely as a child or even now and feel or felt their parents could never understand them. Can have a hard time expressing their emotions, especially towards family. In some situations this placements can make where the persons family might have financial struggles.

Saturn in the 5th house: This placement will make it difficult for this person to let loose and have fun, they may not be so spontaneous, won’t gamble or go out of their way to have an adventurous night. This person is shy and more reserved in gatherings if they go out at all in the first place. They probably won’t be dating a lot either, their top reason being they want their relationships built off of stability.

Saturn in the 6th house: Can feel unappreciated or feels that they have too many responsibilities. The individual is commonly afraid to change jobs feels like they are a failure at the workplace so the person often feels unhappy and criticized at their work. There can also be the fear of unemployment they feel in their daily lives and routine. They try to stay prepared for loosing everything.

Saturn in the 7th house: This person will need to learn responsibilities of being in and out of relationships, what do they need and what they don’t need? There will be limitations in their relationships on a personal level until they learn to get past the urge to control others for their own personal reasons. There can also be a fear within love and partnerships itself for them as they are supposed to learn from this placement.

Saturn in the 8th house: They can be very controlled and self conscious of their every actions, which limits them by a lot. Insecurities are hidden from the public for they don’t want anyone to know their own mistakes and flaws. They are very aware of their own problems, so much so they feel they can’t show that side of them because being considered “weak” is something intolerable for them.

Saturn in the 9th house: This can make an individual have feelings of wanting to find ways to explain higher powers or breaking the norms of religion and configure their own ideas about religion. At a young age they could’ve been pressured or forced to follow their family’s beliefs, having zero control or space to think for themselves. They can also have an intense fear of failing.

Saturn in the 10th house: Very controlled or restrictive in their everyday nature. Very constructive and hardworking, might always be busy with work itself and loses sight of just living. Can bring a lot of pressure in childhood to work or find some form of schedule to follow. Fears failure greatly or being unprepared for their future and other demanding tasks.

Saturn in the 11th house: This placement can bring a lot of older friends, mature ones at that. But then this placement can also bring a lot of loneliness, it depends on how it is aspected. They follow a mature style throughout life, probably following their elders steps in some way from inspiration. They crave for connections but can also have a hard time knowing who they really are.

Saturn in the 12th house: This placement will usually make these people selectively isolating, they wish to keep to themselves and tend to bring themselves down with fears of letting go and being free and one with their dreams. Sometimes they just prefer to be alone because they enjoy it, and might go live in seclusion. They worry, and guilt probably a lot more than is needed for their health.

[forgedwild-arch]

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻.

repost, don’t reblog

basics !

FULL NAME. August Wesley Wilder NICKNAME. Gus. Gus the Grizzly. GENDER. Cis-Male (He/Him) HEIGHT. 6′9 AGE. unknown, physically appears around 55-60 years old. ZODIAC. taurus sun / libra moon / virgo rising. earth sign dominant chart babey!! SPOKEN LANGUAGES. fluent English, Spanish, and French. has picked up a little Dakota-Siouan from frequent run-ins with the Ghost Nation over the years. he’s not really fluent in it, just knows enough to talk himself out of trouble lmao.

physical characteristics !

HAIR COLOR. salt and pepper grey, with natural black undertones.  EYE COLOR. light hazel that fade to a deep forest green around the edge of the iris (central heterochromia) in both eyes. SKIN TONE. he’s white but he’s very sun-weathered and darkly tanned, with lots of sun spots and freckles all over his body. BODY TYPE. broad, big, bold and bear-ish. just the dictionary definition of a Gentle Giant. well, mostly gentle unless pushed. ACCENT. southern appalachian drawl. VOICE. deep, husky, and gravelly yet nothing short of soothing. his voice claim is Colter Wall. DOMINANT HAND. he’s ambidextrous! POSTURE. Gus is always generally seen standing tall and proud. he’s definitely a man who’s comfortable in his body, and the stark juxtaposition of his formidable physique and utterly gentle nature often catches the townsfolk and westworld guests by surprise.  SCARS. deep, jagged scars that run diagonally across his back and over his biceps. supposedly a bear gave him the scars when he fought one off a young boy. in reality, he fought a guest off one of the teenage hosts in one of his first loops, and said guest struck August down with a searing hot fire poker from his forge while the young android ran for safety. that was the first and last time Gus was ever killed during his loop, and he has rarely been updated since. TATTOOS. he has some beautifully intricate tattoo sleeves on both arms, each image representing one of his favorite western tall tales that he often retells to his forge guests (especially crowds of kids). Gus actually gave himself the tattoos to hide the scars on his arms (the ones he could reach anyway), and the westworld writers never corrected the feature since they found them aesthetically pleasing and appropriate for his host role as both a blacksmith and self-proclaimed cultural mythologist / historian of the town.  MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S). we stan a sweet old android with dimples and laugh lines. and those bright eyes of his visibly twinkle when he smiles!

childhood !

PLACE OF BIRTH. Technically? The Westworld Mesa Hub. But for his written backstory, his birthplace is unknown.   HOMETOWN. Hinton, West Virginia. a small railroad and coal town that sits at the edge of the New River in the Appalachian Mountains. when Gus was a boy, the town was essentially split between “trash” and “old money”. Gus came from the run-down side of the tracks, raised as a laboring blacksmith’s son, but he had a happy childhood. FIRST WORDS. “god dammit” after hearing his father shout it when he struck his thumb with a hammer. Almanzo found it hilarious, but also spent days trying to get the baby to say something else, ANYTHING else because the town population at the time was made of a few hundred southern baptists. suffice to say, Almanzo’s efforts were fruitless, and little baby August shouted it to the world in the middle of that sunday’s church service. his hometown community loved him dearly, but he’d always been labeled a little troublemaker ever since. and he was quite the prankster in his youth. all harmless of course. Gus hardly has a cruel bone in his body, but won his peer’s attentions and affections by being a bit of a class clown. SIBLINGS. none that he knows of. PARENTS. Almanzo “Manny” Wilder. should be noted that Almanzo is not August’s biological father. Gus was dropped at the door of his forge as a baby, and the identity of August’s biological family remains a complete mystery to both him and his caretaker. Almanzo played himself off as his biological dad for some time, but once Gus shot up to be about twice his old man’s size at age fifteen, well. he kind of figured it out on his own. he never resented Manny for it, though. in his mind, he is his real father. his only father. since he was the only one who was ever there for him. PARENTAL INVOLVEMENT.  Almanzo was a very attentive surrogate father and loved Gus with everything he had. Gus always had a sharp mind and vivid imagination as a kid, and Manny told him time and time again that his brain was far too big for a place like Hinton, always urging him to apply to those fancy universities along the coast or over in England and become a novelist or engineer. August looked up to his father however, and wanted to grow up to be just like him, and therefore was not only Almanzo’s child, but also his apprentice. He stayed in Hinton until Manny died from lung cancer, and by which August was about 25 years old or so and a freshly professional smith. He took over the family business, sought to pave his own way out west, and has been tending to the needs of the people in Sweetwater ever since.

adult life !

OCCUPATION. a blacksmith and self-proclaimed “cultural mythologist”. fancy way of saying he really loves to wow kids with the tall tales of the west. CURRENT RESIDENCE. his forge that sits on the edge of town. CLOSE FRIENDS. well he spends a lot of time with his two pets, Teddy Bear and Sundance Kid. they’re about the closest friends he has. oh he cares about the other hosts of Sweetwater, dearly! and he craves human connection something fierce. but his work (and his emotional walls) keeps him a bit too busy to really... dive deep in any of those friendships. sadly. RELATIONSHIP STATUS. single, although was married to @forgedwest​ in a past loop. FINANCIAL STATUS. he’s definitely not filthy rich, but growing up poor taught him to be good with his money and while he doesn’t have a luxurious life by any means, he has all he needs. lower class but not at all bothered by it.  DRIVER’S LICENSE. N/A. CRIMINAL RECORD. a few bar fights, but he was never guilty of starting them. just ending them.  VICES. if you ask August, he’ll say he sleeps in just a little too long on Sunday mornings, rolling and smoking hashish to unwind. if you ask me, i say don’t buy him more than three amaretto sours if you wanna have a drink with him. he can generally control himself and hold his liquor, but he can get to a point where he won’t stop lmao. luckily, he’s a happy drunk. also enjoys cigars, but smokes them more for celebration of special occasions. 

sex and romance !

SEXUAL ORIENTATION. bisexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION. biromantic  PREFERRED EMOTIONAL ROLE. submissive  |  dominant  |  switch   PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE. Submissive  |  dominant  |  switch ( he’s primarily a service top ) LIBIDO. average, i guess? i wouldn’t say his libido is anything insane, otherwise he’d REALLY be suffering being the lonely bachelor he is lmao. but he likes sex! TURN ONS. he loves a good sense of humor and has a weak spot for well-meaning troublemakers  TURN OFFS. people who take advantage of others. that’s a broad category, but it’s a personal thing. LOVE LANGUAGE. gift-giving, physical intimacy, protection and quality time! he’s not so good at expressing his feelings with words, but you will absolutely know if he fancies you because his actions will show it. you will NEVER wonder about his intentions. the old boy wears his heart on his sleeve. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES. despite how obviously loving he is, August has a tendency to assume people don’t want to be with him. one could argue it’s likely rooted in an abandonment issue of some kind. Almanzo was a plenty attentive and very caring dad, but the knowledge that one was orphaned and dropped off on someone’s front step is would be a little jarring when just about anyone hears it. though it’s likely less so much that, and more so how his peers in school were downright TERRIFIED him just because of his intimidating physique alone (despite his kind nature). he was taken advantage of a lot in his youth due to just how naturally people pleasing he can be to compensate for his scary appearance, and his kindness was therefore mistaken often for stupidity. its a compulsion that he’s gotten better about controlling as he grew older, and is now much more discerning re: who deserves the clothes off his back. but little insecurities regarding it remains, and as such his assumption that no one harbors affections for him has become a self-fulfilling prophecy. August is very sweet and outgoing, plenty handsome, great with kids and would make a very loving husband and lifetime best friend! but he doesn’t exactly make himself romantically available.

miscellaneous !

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG. “ take me home, country roads ” by john denver. shocker, i know. HOBBIES TO PASS TIME. he’s a blacksmith by occupation, but August can make just about anything with any material you can think of. he’s a jack of all trades type, and spends a lot of his rare spare time gardening, sketching while he’s people-watching, writing stories, blowing glass, and creating little animals and character figurines from his stories out of hide / wood/ metal. the latter are gifts that he gives to any young park guests who come to the forge. he also likes playing his guitar or banjo and singing to himself on warm summer nights. MENTAL ILLNESSES. i mean. everything truly traumatic that ever happened to him was basically wiped clean from his slate so u kno. none. for now lmfao.  PHYSICAL ILLNESSES. N/A. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED. right-brained, i guess. he can be plenty logical, but he’s definitely a creative type!  FEARS. there is a Vague Fear that he will die alone but it’s not pertinent enough to cause him a lot of anxiety. because he’s generally pretty independent. more so, it’s just a source of intense longing when he’s got a crush, but then he never actually acts on it. also, he’s got a bit of a fear of vulnerability. mostly because his kindness has been used against him plenty and no, it has not made him any less kind, but he doesn’t want that kindness tied into real emotional potency and then turned against him. vulnerability and intimacy also come with the pre-conceived knowledge of loss, because relationships ( be they romantic, friendships, family etc ) either end in break ups or death. and yes, it’s better to have loved and lost than never loved at all, but that doesn’t make August’s unease re: loss any less real. SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL. hmmm. i’ll say about an 6 or 7 out of 10? he’s plenty sure of himself and his abilities, he just keeps himself humble like the well-mannered mountain boy he is. VULNERABILITIES. best way to hurt him is to strike anyone close to him. cares WAY MORE about others. though on a kind of....emotional note? personal note? idk. he’s quite aware of how he’s perceived to be a bit “simple-minded” all due to his accent. it’s something that Gus will get defensive about if you poke at him for it. not out of pride, but out of love for the people and culture from where he hails. he LOVES Appalachia deeply, and while he admires the west for all of its available adventure and promise, the people of the Blue Ridge Mountains remain the kindest he’s ever known. don’t talk bad about them, he’ll be quick to knock you into next tuesday. 

tagged by: @noiseofthunder​​ thank u grunk u always tag me in the Quality Shit (n this really helped me finally flesh some character basics out) tagging:  @forgedwest​ bc i’m the worst friend n force erin to do every dash game ever. also @copiesofme​​ @defactomatriarch​ @bountyman​ & thieves are valid.

[kaaras-adaar-a]

𝑪𝑯𝑨𝑹𝑨𝑪𝑻𝑬𝑹 𝑺𝑯𝑬𝑬𝑻

repost, don’t reblog !

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬 !

full name.  Kaaras Taashath Adaar pronunciation.  (honestly we all pronounce it with different accents so... however you like! Kaaras’ mother rolls the r in his name, whilst Kaaras pronounces his own name rather plainly as he got used to keeping it simple for humans when he was young, and his accent is Fereldan unlike his parents’ :’D) nicknames.  Adaar, Herald, Worship, Captain, Inquisitor, Farmboy  height.   6′7. age.  29 at Haven zodiac.  Sagittarius  languages.  Common tongue (first language), Qunlat (second language/intermediate).

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour.    Butterscotch blonde eye colour.   Red with orange freckles and a black rim around the iris  skin tone.    Pale grey body type.    Endomorph accent.    Fereldan dominant hand.  Right posture.    Excellent tattoos.   N/A most noticeable features.   Horns, skin tone, height, long ears, general qunari features.

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth.   Starkhaven hometown.   Southron Hills, Ferelden. birth weight / height.  Underweight and small for a qunari. first words.   Probably mumma or something along the lines of.  siblings.  Aith (adopted younger sister), Talan’ash (older half-brother), multiple unnamed siblings under the Qun. parents.   Aban Adaar (mother--alive and well), Anaan Adaar (father--deceased)  parental involvement.  Kaaras lost his father when he was 12 years old. Before then, his parents were very loving and caring and always a massive support for Kaaras as a growing child. His mother continued to be supportive of Kaaras as a growing man. After his father died, their relationship did become a bit strained considering Kaaras blamed himself and felt guilt every time he looked at his mother, but their relationship has since healed. They love each other very dearly, despite his mother being quite a helicopter at times... 

ADULT LIFE

occupation.  Farmer, mercenary, mercenary captain, Inquisitor.  current residence.    Skyhold, Ferelden (the farm) and he has a place in Starkhaven for his mercenary company.  close friends.   His company, DA:I companions, his family.  relationship status.   verse dependent (in game marries Iron Bull) financial status.   Kaaras grew up poor, however, as a mercenary, he made a very good living for himself. I’d say he’s middle class, however as Inquisitor he is upper class.  criminal record.   Kaaras has been falsely accused of crimes but they were sorted out and his record cleared. He’s also killed in self defence during his time as Inquisitor.

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation.    Pansexual  romantic orientation.    Panromantic  preferred emotional role.  submissive | dominant | switch | unsure preferred sexual role.  submissive |  dominant  |  switch |  sex repulsed libido.  High turn on’s.   Passion, touch, kissing, teasing, mild dirty talk, romance, manhandling him turn off’s.    Bad hygiene, clinginess, abusive behaviour, demeaning, slavery.  love language.  Physical touch, support, spending time together. relationship tendencies.   Kaaras is very serious about getting into a relationship, he wants to be 100% sure, which is why he can be a bit slow in admitting his feelings for someone out loud. He is very devoted and loyal, and will support his lover along the way. He is encouraging and compassionate. When in a new relationship, he tends to give his partner a lot of his time as he wishes to show his commitment to them, he is exceptionally physical, wanting to touch his lover emotionally, platonically and sexually. Kaaras generally falls pretty damn hard as well, he’s easy to crush, but once he’s in love, it’s pretty much for life unless his partner changes into someone he no longer recognises (which has happened before). In this side of Kaaras, you will see how silly and romantic he can be, but also how much he opens up and grows sexually as well. He wants to explore with his partner, and he often simply likes to watch them. 

MISCELLANEOUS.

character’s theme song.    I have two main ones A Good Heart (Feargal Sharkey) and The Chosen Ones (Dream Evil)  hobbies to pass the time.   Reading, meditating, training, sparring, horse riding, spending time with friends, woodworks.  mental illnesses.   OCD, PTSD, depression (recovered) physical illnesses.   PSAS (persistent sexual arousal syndrome), lactose intolerance, alcoholic (recovering) left or right brained.   Left brained. fears.   Failure, loss of control, losing loved ones.  self confidence level.  Mentally, Kaaras is very self aware and pretty confident in his duties and work. Personal life, he’s not as confident. When it comes to his looks, he suffers a lot of insecurities. Sexually, he’s very insecure and it takes a long time for him to be more confident with someone. Kaaras is a very determined individual, though, so he pushes through his insecurities to get an end goal.  vulnerabilities. Kaaras can be proud and have a rather moral high ground at times, if people insult his worth or his duty, he will not take i kindly. If people criticise him, he can also become cranky. He’s all for learning, but he’s also a perfectionist, so it’s insulting to him, although it’s mostly he’s annoyed with HIMSELF, not the other person. He takes criticism personally, especially depending on WHO it’s from. If it’s someone he trusts, he values their opinions and will take them to heart. He’s sensitive, but this is also why he values honesty, because he wants to better himself. So... don’t be afraid to criticise him, so long as it’s done kindly. He also wants to fit in somewhere because he’s never felt like he could. Always too qunari to be human, and too human to be truly qunari. He desperately wants to feel like he belongs somewhere, and the Inquisition definitely helped him find that purpose and feeling. His OCD also makes him quite vulnerable in moments of stress and anxiety, but he’s learned to manage that rather well over the years. 

tagged by:   Stole from @lathal​ tagging: you!!

[mcv-c]

ITS A BRAND SPANKING NEW MARNIE!! okay so basically i’m an angst and dramatic thottie so welcome this new/old school marnie before all her marriage and children!!

MARNIE SHEA MARISOL (which now feels wrong after all this time of being marnie almeida) is 21 and a porn star/stripper

PLEASE BE AWARE THAT THERE ARE A LOT OF TRIGGERING POINTS!! trigger warning: mental health, abuse, drugs, alcohol, sexual assault, neglect 

marnie grew up in brooklyn new york with her mother and brother, they were extremely poor growing up sharing a one bedroom apartment over a diner where her mother worked. her mum was a function alcoholic who barely supported her kids financially let alone emotionally.

her brother was her rock growing up, they were best friends and he basically looked after her. he got a job the second he could to make a little extra money for food and supplies because it was rough living off food stamps and basically wondering how you were gonna get through the next week.

her father was absent and had an entire other family behind their back who he was mainly supporting leaving marnie and her mum and brother to fend for themselves. he was violent and mean when she did see him and she’s just hated her father since she can remember.

her father passed away when she was about 6/7 and she refused to go to his funeral despite her mother screaming and crying about it and near forcing her to go. 

her brother got a scholarship in sports and moved state to go to college because unlike marnie he was always a star at school. marnie on the other hand has struggled with dyslexia and ADHD since she can remember.

the teachers kind of gave up on her rather quickly and just classed her as a nuisance in class instead of trying to help her understand the content. this lead to her skipping school a lot and getting into a lot of trouble.

this being said she knows she’s not smart and it’s one of her biggest insecurities. she gets really embarrassed and frustrated when someone calls her out on something airheaded she’s said or calls her stupid. in fact calling her stupid will just make her avoid you for the rest of eternity.

when she was 18 she got into a relationship with a horrible man who was very violent towards her and treated her horribly. he was the reason she got into drugs and partying and drinking and also the man who brought her to her first strip club.

he could, to her not knowing, feed her pills in her drinks and take advantage of her when she had no control to fight back or say no. he was a disgusting man that deserves to be fucking ended thank you.

but the one good thing he did bring, weirdly enough, was stripping into her life. that night she went to a strip club all the lights and pretty lingerie sets and attention made her feel beautiful and worthy and wanted and she was hooked from that moment on.

being showered in attention and having men and women crave your every move while throwing their money at you? it was her dream come true.

stripping lead into porn and this is also something she not ashamed of at all!! she loves sex and is an incredibly sexual person who appreciates feeling good and feeling sexy. so now she’s doing porn and has been placed as this generations Jenna Jameson she’s kinda the superstar of the porn world.

she’s made it glamorous and exciting to be in porn like Jenna Jameson did in the nineties.

think of her like a mix of Jenna Jameson, Pamela Anderson and Carmen Electra.

has been a playboy centerfold twice thank you and she has her playboy covers framed in her penthouse in manhattan

like bitch is making bank now for herself she is a superstar adult film star and she fucKING LOVES THE ATTENTION AND ADMIRATION FOR HER BODY AND BEAUTY.

she still strips but now it’s more as an attraction like she gets paid to make appearances in strip clubs and you have to buy tickets to see her strip and then on top of that you still have to throw money at this bitch on stage like she’s making her coin don’t worry.

she is a bratty brat thot thottie hoe and she’s proud like this bitch flaunting what she’s got everywhere she goes

she’s vengeful and petty and loves fighting both physically and just full on screaming matches

will slash your tires or throw plates across the room at you whilst cursing you out in spanish.

she’s loyal as all fuck though if you earn that shit. like the best friend or girlfriend you can have but it ain’t coming cheap or easy bitch loves her freedom and fucking around with whoever she wants

idk i’ll add more if i think of it but WELCOME BACK MARNIE THE THOTTIE THOT FUCKERY BRAT BITCH MARISOL

[thebaileymail]

Introduction: Jamie Goldenhearth

full name.  James Eugene goldenhearth

nicknames.  Jamie, Jay, Jay-jay.

height. 5′6”

age. 21

zodiac. Taurus

Languages. common.

PHYSICAL CHARACTERISTICS.

hair colour.  Raven black.

eye colour.  Emerald green.

skin tone.  Tanned.

body type. Although difficult to tell beneath the layers of expensive fabrics Jamie opts to wear, the muscles upon his lithe form are well-defined.

accent.  Refined. Growing up in a nigh-regal household, one could easily tell Jamie comes from a family that has been well off.

dominant hand. Ambidextrous.

posture.  Poised, elegant and practiced.

scars.  A singular scar runs down the left side of Jamie’s face, quite noticeably. Although for certain events he may veil it with a layer of cosmetics.

tattoos. Upon the back of his hands a set of intricate geometrical sigils can be seen, sometimes reddened and slightly infected. Another tattoo is tucked away on the inside of Jamie’s left wrist, of a guitar plectrum with inside it written in calligraphy RAC.

most noticeable features.  A scar running down the left side of Jamie’s face. He almost always wears a kind, practiced smile when talking to strangers, and he appears to be incredibly keen to talk to all those around him. 

CHILDHOOD.

place of birth.  Goldenhearth Isle; their family island within the Stait of Merlthor.

hometown.  Ul’dah.

birth weight / height. Average

manner of birth. Unremarkable.

first words.  Jenny

siblings.  A twin sister (Juliette Anastasia Goldenhearth) And younger brother (Peter Elliott Goldenhearth)

parents.  Deceased father (Adam Walcott Goldenhearth), mother (Sharon Jacqueline Astor-Goldenhearth)

parental involvement. Jamie and his siblings were all brought up with little privacy afforded from their parents. Their mother holds a great deal of respect for them, and often sways Jamie’s opinions.

ADULT LIFE

occupation. Entrepreneur, business owner, investor.

close friends. Vila, Rhyan, Anna. Although he befriends nearly all he comes in contact with, he doesn’t consider a great many his close friends. Moreover, he lost a good deal of contacts after ending his employment at Metaphysick.

relationship status. Taken.

financial status. Jamie doesn’t own a great deal of raw gil himself; most of it is invested into his business, or future business endeavors. Although compared to the average Eorzean, he is still wealthy.

driver’s license. He drove a Regalia twice. If only someone would buy one with him.

criminal record. None

vices. Greed, desiring too much wealth.

SEX & ROMANCE.

sexual orientation.  Homosexual

romantic orientation.    Homoromantic (monogamous)

preferred emotional role.  submissive | dominant | switch  |  unsure

preferred sexual role.  submissive  |  dominant |  switch |  sex repulsed | unsure

libido Jamie has a strong libido.

turn on’s. Loss of control in the bedroom, a strong partner, anarchy, humour. 

turn off’s. Bashfulness, greed, incompetence, submissiveness.

love language.  Jamie seeks to excessively touch those that he loves, and wants to provide all that he is able. He takes a great deal of pleasure in taking care of those he cares about, and being the first person to be called when something is amiss. Moreover, being Ul’dahn in nature, he takes a great deal of comfort in receiving gifts and being surprised.

relationship tendencies.  Jamie can be somewhat manipulative in getting what he wants. Although outwardly he might seem the more submissive type in his relationship, he still manages to get his way almost whenever he wants. He is inordinately picky with those he fancies physically, and even pickier with those he would start a relationship with.

MISCELLANEOUS.

hobbies to pass the time.  Talking to strangers, reading, painting, drawing, people-watching, researching.

mental illnesses. PTSD

physical illnesses.  None.

fears. Death, the open sea, loss of control, being touched.

self confidence level. Jamie quite easily veils his insecurities with honeyed words and a kind smile.

vulnerabilities. Jamie is dependant on a great deal of people. He has very little combat prowess, requires people to talk to for his mental health, needs regular check-ups from healers, makes his money through other people. Strip away those around him, and he is left with nothing.

Tagged by: @poor-rhyan

Tagging: @truth-of-the-warden @passage-of-arms @foxracinggurl @twin-moons-ffxiv @morpho-whispers @kikilukilu @archmagesarto @thegildenheart @grumpy-limsan-customs-cat @vexredain @falanyr @sharlayan-duelist @missmeela @rakuza

[sjecblogarchive]

GREEN TEAM SPOTLIGHT | FOOD WASTE

04/13/2016

BY SJECWARRENTON

GREEN TEAM SPOTLIGHT | FOOD WASTE

The Green Team would like to spotlight food waste for the next few weeks. Recent articles in National Geographic and the Washington Post have brought this issue to the forefront. While the facts may seem overwhelming, this is a problem on which we can have great impact both individually and as a faith community. After reading our problem statement, please share your ideas with us via email. We will work together over the coming weeks to address food waste in our community.

“…whenever food is thrown out it is as if it were stolen from the table of the poor.”

Pope Francis’ encyclical Laudato Si’ (On Care for our Common Home)

A.) FOOD WASTE

“More than a third of all of the food that’s produced on our planet never reaches a table. It’s either spoiled in transit or thrown out by consumers in wealthier countries, who typically buy too much and toss the excess. This works out to roughly 1.3 billion tons of food, worth nearly $1 trillion at retail prices.” (1) The United States wastes an estimated 40% of its food. Some of this comes from long transportation of and the unwillingness of customers to accept imperfect fruits and vegetables, a misunderstanding of “use by” dates, and restaurant/public waste. “Spills, spoilage, table scraps, and other losses from the typical American family of four add up to 1,160 pounds of uneaten food annually. The average family leaves uneaten each year more than enough to feed another person.” (2)

B.) HUNGER

Meanwhile, one person, usually a child, dies from starvation or malnutrition every 4 minutes on this planet. 805 million people go to bed hungry every night. (3) “In the United States more than…two-thirds of families with food insecurity with children have at least one working adult—typically in a full-time job. The number of people going hungry has grown dramatically in the U.S., increasing to 48 million by 2012—a fivefold jump since the late 1960s, including an increase of 57 percent since the late 1990s. In 1980 there were a few hundred emergency food programs across the country; today there are 50,000.”(4) Around the world, hunger is a major cause of political instability.

C.) ENVIRONMENTAL COSTS

The environmental cost (fuels, fertilizers) of “producing so much wasted food is staggering. The energy that goes into the production, harvest, transportation, and packaging of wasted food produces more than 3.3 billion metric tons of carbon dioxide.(5) The water wastage alone would be the equivalent of the entire annual flow of the Volga—Europe’s largest river. If food waste were a country, it would be the world’s third largest emitter of greenhouse gases, behind the U.S. and China.”(6)

D.) LANDFILLS & GREENHOUSE GASES

“Food waste is the second largest category of municipal solid waste (MSW) sent to landfills in the United States, accounting for approximately 18% of the waste stream. That is over 30 million tons of food waste that the U. S. sends to the landfills each year. Of the less than 3% of waste currently being diverted from landfills, most of it is being composted to produce a fertilizer.”(7) Rotting food waste in landfills is a major source of methane, a greenhouse gas 25 times more powerful in trapping heat in the atmosphere than carbon dioxide. Landfills are responsible for about one-third of all methane emissions in the United States.(8)

E.) THE CHAIN OF FINANCIAL COSTS

We pay for food that is wasted. If we purchase food for our families and discard it, we have wasted our money. When grocery stores discard food, they have wasted their money, but that cost will be passed on to us, the customers. When a farmer discards vegetables that are considered “ugly,” his costs for growing them will be added to the remaining crop which we, the customers, ultimately pay.

CONSIDER INCLUDING THESE PRAYERS IN YOUR DAILY LIFE AS WE WORK TO REDUCE FOOD WASTE:TO BE SAID WHILE PREPARING A MEAL:

Creator God, as I prepare this meal in plenty, I pray for those parents around the world who know their children will go hungry this night.

TO BE SAID BEFORE A MEAL:

For food in a world where many walk in hunger;

For faith in a world where many walk in fear;

For friends in a world where many walk alone;

We give you thanks, O Lord.

(from Xavier University)

TO ADD TO YOUR EXISTING MEAL BLESSING:

All things come of thee, O God. We receive this bounty with humble hearts and remember our brothers and sisters around the world who go hungry tonight.

The earth is the Lord’s and all that is in it, the world and all who dwell therein. (Psalm 24:1)

SOURCES

Smith, Roff, National Geographic “How Reducing Food Waste Could Ease Climate Change” for Jan. 22, 2015

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2015/01/150122-food-waste-climate-change-hunger/

Royte, Elizabeth, National Geographic “One Third of Food Is Lost or Wasted: What Can Be Done” Oct. 13, 2014 http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/10/141013-food-waste-national-security-environment-science-ngfood/

Ibid.

McMillan, Tracie, National Geographic “New Face of Hunger” http://www.nationalgeographic.com/foodfeatures/hunger/

Smith, National Geographic, op. cit.

Royte, National Geographic, op. cit.

“Turning food into Waste (Turning food into Waste at East Bay Municipal Utility District/ EPA)

http://www.governing.com/topics/energy-env/Methane-from-Landfills.html

http://www.fao.org/news/story/en/item/196220/icode/

CATEGORIES GREEN TEAM

TAGS FOOD WASTE, GREEN TEAM, HUNGER, LAUDATO SI, LEARN, POPE FRANCIS, PRAYER, SERVE

[bigyack-com]

Women Are ‘Claiming Their Power’ in Investment Clubs of Their Own

During the 2008 financial crisis, Lauren Winfield found herself starting over in Austin, Texas, without a job, a network or a nest egg.She had just come out as gay. In her 20s with no savings or financial support from her family, she worked minimum-wage jobs to pay off college loans and credit card debt.Ms. Winfield tried to save, but emergencies often washed those attempts away. The result: a feeling of insecurity that left her reluctant to try investing.Things changed when Ms. Winfield started attending women’s finance group meetings. She eventually joined the Austin Women’s Investing Group, which she found on Meetup, and started connecting with its members on Facebook. The community she found in the groups gave her the support to begin investing for retirement in her 30s.“It’s confidence boosting to be in the same room or online group as other women claiming their power and autonomy with their money,” said Ms. Winfield, now 34. She went on to create Signum City, a fintech start-up that developed an app-based game to help young adults learn to invest.Her financial journey mirrors the challenges many women face when investing for retirement: Their short-term financial needs have a way of eclipsing long-term goals. Across the country, women’s investing groups, from Meetup to clubs organized by the nonprofit BetterInvesting, are helping some women to focus on their finances in ways, their members say, where Wall Street firms, fund companies and financial advisers have fallen short.Just 17 percent of women said planning for retirement was their top financial goal in a 2018 survey by Pimco, the Newport Beach, Calif., investment firm that manages $1.8 trillion for central banks, pension funds and financial advisers. Respondents ranked it behind goals like achieving financial stability, creating a wide-ranging financial plan and becoming financially independent.Researchers cite myriad reasons, namely: Women’s longer life expectancy, lower wages, marital status, and responsibility for child care and caregiving. The challenge women often face is how to take a nest egg that is typically smaller than men’s and extend it to last their lifetime.The disconnect between women’s priorities and what the financial services industry typically emphasizes — strategies to beat the market — is especially apparent when it comes to retirement. In Pimco’s survey, 72 percent of women, and 81 percent of millennial women, said the investing system was “set up to be confusing.” Women identified honesty, knowledge and transparency as the top values they sought in advisers and financial institutions.Major financial institutions have taken note. Bank of America, Merrill Lynch, UBS and Fidelity are among a growing number that have built websites and issued reports to try to attract female investors. They’re competing with women-focused investment houses like Ellevest, a platform that uses human advisers and roboadviser technology. What’s at stake, according to the Bank of Montreal, is an estimated $22 trillion in personal wealth that women in the United States control.Geoffrey Sanzenbacher, an associate professor of economics and a research fellow for the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College, said many such Wall Street initiatives were “just marketing.”A 2019 study by the center noted that a typical woman who was approaching retirement had spent about half her adult life married. This didn’t ensure greater financial stability, however. Even though married women are in households with higher earnings and wealth, the study said, they’re less likely than single women to maintain their standard of living in retirement because nearly half of two-earner couples “tend to undersave in their retirement plans.”If only one spouse has a 401(k), that spouse needs to “save even more,” said Dr. Sanzenbacher, a co-author of the study. Yet most people don’t do that, he added.This is where women’s investment groups and clubs are making a difference.After some time with the Austin group, Ms. Winfield opened Roth I.R.A.s to invest in exchange-traded funds and some real estate investment trusts. She encouraged her partner to maximize 401(k) contributions and taught her partner about emergency savings.“As a lesbian, I constantly remind myself to claim a seat at a table that was not initially designed for me,” she said. “Finance is a male-dominated field, but saving for retirement is a must for everyone.”Monthly gatherings in public libraries, cafes, conference rooms or living rooms used to be the preferred way for women’s investment groups and clubs to meet. But now, because of the coronavirus pandemic, organizers are holding virtual meetings instead.The Austin group stands out, in part, because it has built a membership of over 2,000. Sara Glakas, an investment adviser and the founder of Black Barn Financial, said she helped start the group in 2011 because women were being underserved by financial advisers with a “significant blind spot.”Gathering together matters because the topic is stressful. “Much of the tone and approach of experts, along with the financial news you read, tends to cause anxiety for people,” Ms. Glakas, 40, said. “We seek to create simplicity, clarity and give people control.”One recurring topic of discussion is how avoiding riskier parts of the financial markets, such as growth stocks and the technology sector, puts women at a disadvantage because they miss the effects of compounding.“By focusing so much on the emergency fund and the mortgage paydown and the kids’ education, women are being steered into shorter-term, lower-return investments to the detriment of the longer-term, higher-return investments that can build great amounts of wealth,” Ms. Glakas said.Kamie Zaracki, 64, who recently retired as chief executive of BetterInvesting, a national organization with a network of clubs that educate people about investing in high-quality growth stocks, has been making retirement contributions since her 20s.“With every job since, I’ve participated in the 401(k) as soon as possible and immediately contributed the maximum amount,” she said.Ms. Zaracki is single, lives in the Detroit area and for the last decade has consulted with a male chartered financial analyst to try to grow her retirement portfolio of stocks, E.T.F.s and bonds into a $2 million nest egg. But she also learned to find stocks to help increase her portfolio returns from participating in Baker’s Dozen, a BetterInvesting club with mostly female members that meets monthly in Milford, Mich.Through February, Ms. Zaracki held a high percentage of equities (nearly 87 percent) in her retirement accounts, she said. Now, with the downturn, she and her adviser decided to sell some stocks so she could cover three years of living expenses.About half of the women in the Pimco survey said they were so strapped for time that they felt “more time-poor than financially poor” — and preferred to hire someone else to manage their money. But Ms. Zaracki said managing investments didn’t have to take a lot of time.Even with help, the hours she spends on it are “very empowering,” she said. “I have a clear picture of my finances and greater confidence in my financial decisions.”Investor confidence remains in short supply with the coronavirus pandemic wreaking havoc on the markets. Laura LaTourette, who runs Family Wealth Management Group in Dahlonega, Ga., has fielded lots of calls from worried clients, many of whom are in the L.G.B.T.Q. community and older than 50. She is also concerned about her wife’s and her own portfolios.Ms. LaTourette has run up against some of the same obstacles to money management that other women have — even though she is a financial planner.“I am now just starting to really prioritize my own retirement savings,” said Ms. LaTourette, 59, who manages her own Roth I.R.A. and 401(k) accounts. “After living through the last recession, getting my children through college and helping my siblings with financial trouble, I find myself behind on investable assets for retirement.”She said that she had come to appreciate how female clients valued “deep conversations” to learn about all facets of investing and the economy, and that she believed the industry needed to hire more women.That’s the approach that Sallie Krawcheck, a co-founder and the chief executive of Ellevest, took.“We have built Ellevest completely around serving women,” she said. Most of its clients — Ms. Krawcheck said they numbered in the “multiple tens of thousands” — are women, as are more than 70 percent of the company’s employees. This strategy “helped us see both the problem and solution from a vantage point that others have not,” Ms. Krawcheck said.Ellevest’s platform has what Ms. Krawcheck called a “gender aware” algorithm that accounts for how women live six to eight years longer than men, often have lower earnings (with salaries that peak earlier) and take more career breaks. She said it was designed to “take on the least amount of risk necessary for women to reach their investment goals.”The firm’s research also underscores the need for community engagement. “If you bring up the topic of money to a woman,” Ms. Krawcheck said, “the words that come to mind for her are ‘isolation,’ ‘uncertainty’ and ‘loneliness.’”Those are exactly the feelings the Austin group is trying to help women avoid.“Frankly, I believe we have yet to see what women investors can achieve as a force,” Ms. Glakas said. “We’re very serious about creating a space for that change.” Read the full article

[cygnahime]

Okay, by unpopular request, Troll Final Fantasy XV. Under a cut because I love you and want you to be happy, or at least not forced to read my Certified Bad Opinions.

So, let’s start in the center and work our way out. The central story is clearly the tale of Prince Noctis And His Pale Harem. Like, it’s 100% a self-indulgent Harem AU of itself. Because, see, ever since Noctis was little he was basically Assigned Ignis and Gladio as his moirails, because obviously as the Crown Prince his physical and emotional stability is too important to be left to chance. [N.B. Noctis is clearly a tyrianblood, like, that’s not remotely up for debate. Unusually short-lived tyrianbloods? The Crystal drains their energy, making their lifespans unnaturally brief? IDK it’s Troll Fiction.] Ignis is there to take care of his physical wellbeing and support him emotionally, and Gladio is there to protect him and be honest with him.

BUT! One of the awkward things about growing up in an arranged moirallegiance with someone is that it isn’t always all that romantic. And Noctis is kind of a shit moirail to both of them, because he doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing and also they’ve just. Always been there. So he doesn’t completely think of them as romantic relationships that he has to put work into. I mean, obviously he supports them financially and politically, but that just sort of happens without his active input.

Enter Prompto! This lowblood [Probably some kind of weird Niflheim-specific blood caste passing as a Lucian lowblood? Fortunately the game doesn’t show blood spatter, so it’s easy to conceal from the audience, but the fandom has to bend over backwards to explain how the other characters don’t notice.] comes into Noctis’s life after a lot of Brotherhood-era drama about being Good Enough to be frenemies with The Crown Prince, but the important point is that Noctis is suddenly seized with the urge to support and protect him and has no idea what to do. Meanwhile, Prompto swears he just wanted to be frenemies! Really! But he wants to be there emotionally for Noct, who seems so lonely!

Most of the previous paragraph is wild fan speculation, but like. That motel roof scene is the palesmut equivalent of sex in semi-public places. GET A PILE, YOU TWO! There are some people who redship it, but imo the writers intended it to be pale.

What really gets the fans into heated debate and/or wild flamewars is how the rest of the group’s relationships shake out. How do Ignis and Gladio feel about this serendipitous relationship pushing them aside? Is it a big pale orgy, or is there quadrant-swapping there? There’s a compelling argument to be made that Gladio and Noct fumble toward a black relationship, which fits their actual adult feelings much better than their arranged moirallegiance. There’s also an argument to be made that that shit goes rotten after Altissia, to the point where Ignis steps in to auspisticize. And then of course Noctis gets sucked into the Crystal and it all becomes kind of a moot point. :c

(The Troll Animaterrorists put in the time to animate some fucking hugs on their last night together, because despite being, you know, members of troll society, they’re not monsters.)

SPEAKING of arranged relationships, the forced/arranged matespritship between Noctis and Luna is still a thing, and the game is very coy about whether we’re supposed to think it’s serendipitous or not. I mean, they seem fond of each other, and they know each other’s vulnerabilities, but they haven’t met since they were children, so it’s hard to see if the concupiscent attraction is there. Fandom is divided: is it red? Is she pale for him too, because Noctis is just that much of a mess that everyone wants to comfort him? Are they platonic and both shipped red & pale with others? Fandom fight!

Speaking of Luna, I struggle to explain how trolls would depict her relationship with Ravus, because as we know trolls have no siblings. I mean, they’re clearly in a situation where they were raised together and are very attached to each other and are of the same bloodcaste [violet probably], but what does that...mean? I’m hesitant to say this, but troll culture might go for moirails. Like, really rubbish moirails, because Luna’s ability to control Ravus’s poor decisions and Ravus’s ability to protect Luna are both highly in question, but they’re trying. Extremely trying, in Ravus’s case. I’m not entirely comfortable putting siblings in a romantic relationship, but trolls don’t really have a concept of incest, so ??? Let’s not think about it too hard.

While I’m talking about things that make me uncomfortable, I’m not even going to try to explain Gladio’s and Iris’s relationship. They’re the same bloodcaste and were raised by their mutual ancestor and Gladio is supportive of Iris’s red crush on Noctis. Unless in troll AU it’s a black crush, which would at least be interesting. Let Teen Girls Have Innocent Black Crushes 2k17.

Circling back around, Prompto is the fandom pale bicycle. [I can tell because there’s an entire tag on AO3 devoted to his suffering. It’s science.] There’s definitely a small but enthusiastic Prompto♦Aranea fandom since Episode Prompto came out, though it’s hampered somewhat by the fact that Aranea is written as kind of flat in her self-sufficiency. There’s also definitely some Prompto/Noctis/Luna in some red/pale combination or other, which I personally am all about. I mean, I’m the pale orgy person, it is I.

I’m sad to say that Ardyn♠Noctis is definitely a thing, canonically speaking. That’s what complicated murder/suicides are all about, in troll terms. It’s also literally destined, so there’s really no getting away from it, even though it’s manifestly an unhealthy relationship that does no one any favors. That or it’s Noctis♣Ardyn/the Astrals and/or the world at large, which you could also make a solid argument for. I think I prefer that, because that’s not how blackrom works at all. I’m pretty sure Ardyn is gunning for Noct’s pitch quadrant regardless, though not as hard as Loqi is gunning for Cor’s. With an actual gun. It’s doomed to be unrequited, because you will take aroace Cor from my cold dead hands. So I guess in troll AU he’s aconciliatory/aconcupiscent. (I say this just to demonstrate how little of the quadrant-specific vocabulary I have forgotten.)

Kingsglaive is a hard movie to pin down, quadrant-wise. Like, I definitely feel like there’s some kind of spark between Nyx and Luna, but it’s hard to pin down to one side of the red/black divide. There’s probably fic for both tbh. I guess canon keeps it ambiguous as well. I mean, they clearly respect each other, but also there’s a lot of sharing deep-seated insecurities. Personally, I’m all for healthy blackrom, as you know. Lunafreya could use a chance to clash with someone for fun.

Libertus is much more popular in the troll fandom than the human fandom. (Am I salty about the lack of fan content for my fave? Why would you say that?) He’s so soft and in such emotional distress! Your pale self-insert goes here! [Obviously all the Glaives are rust- or brown-bloods. The magic probably is replaced by unlocking latent psychic abilities. Or else they keep magic and this is a ~strange world~ where there are ~no psionics~.] Nyx and Libertus and probably Crowe are like...how Vriska and Terezi used to call each other ‘sisters’? Long-term stable nonquadrant cahootship? That’s them. I realize I had one use of ‘siblings’ in this post and I used in on characters who aren’t actually siblings, but nyeh. Maybe Gladio and Iris are also Troll Siblings. Cahootfriends. It’s not my fault Luna and Ravus kind of suck at being in cahoots.

And that I think covers most of the cast! This is only twelve million words long! I have so many thoughts, apparently! If you also have thoughts, please come share them! You are also a giant nerd and we should be friends!