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#guess what I did instead of sleeping
formicarum-rex · 1 year
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so so so so so tired
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coquelicoq · 7 months
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post-canon every single member of kimcom likes to spoon kim dokja. nonsexually. it's just nice to know he's alive and there and feel his chest rise and fall within the circle of your arms. try to do something stupid now asshole. oh you can't? because of my octopus impression? that's right. take THAT. however i will make one exception for yoo joonghyuk. yoo joonghyuk may want to spoon kim dokja, but he never gets the opportunity because kim dokja wants to spoon him more. so the sleeping arrangement is yjh>kdj>all other kimcom members on rotation. actually i take it back there's one other household member who doesn't want to spoon kim dokja and it's yoo mia, but that's fine because she's one of the only people (besides kim dokja) who yoo joonghyuk would be comfortable spooning. so there's probably times when it's yma>yjh>kdj>today's lucky winner.
incidentally this is also the order for the doing-each-other's-hair train because while yoo mia WILL allow other people to do her hair, no one wants to because she always compares their skills unfavorably to her brother's. and she's really articulate about it. just utterly scathing. one time her criticism was so devastatingly, accurately incisive that she made lee hyunsung cry. yoo joonghyuk spooned him that night to cheer him up and yoo mia was so mad about it that lee hyunsung had to leave the country for a couple weeks. the household learned a valuable lesson that day. it's best not to disturb the delicate spooning/hair-train balance.
#i love how often the webtoon shows people giving their injured teammates piggyback rides#like yeah that is way easier than a bridal carry. good weight distribution#but also it means when they go into Spoon Mode they're like. hey this is familiar!#anyway kimcom totally has a schedule for who gets to spoon kim dokja because otherwise shin yoosung and lee gilyoung would#resort to murder#also han sooyoung was hogging him and pretending it didn't count because it was her clones doing it#(classic excuse. it wasn't me. it was my clone! my clone stole the cookie from the cookie jar! my clone ate my homework!!)#kim dokja figures out that there's a schedule but he thinks it's like. a chore for them instead of something they're fighting over#because he is an idiot 😎👍#the other sleeping arrangement is kim dokja lying on his back and one person on each side cuddling up to him#that's the default when yjh isn't around for kdj to spoon. which doesn't happen very often#if anyone asks no i did NOT start crying the last time someone spooned me because i was incredibly touch-starved. utter lies#totally untrue and also completely irrelevant to the matter at hand#orv#omniscient reader's viewpoint#my posts#f#kdj#orv spoilers#i guess??#kimcom in the situation room trying to strategize how to turn him back into a squid so they can all have a tentacle to cuddle#kim dokja only has two hands and like ten people who want to clutch him to their bosom...but what if he had MORE than two hands?#he has before and he can again. as god is their witness
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disdaidal · 8 months
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I wanna thank my irl friends who follow me here and also my beloved mutuals as well as followers who still send me kind messages and try to interact with me and my stuff even if I'm bad at doing it myself.
Honestly, things haven't been that great with me lately, so... it means a lot to me. Honestly. <3
#personal#i had to make the tough decision to drop out of school last week#i didn't exactly want it if i'm being completely honest here#but certain stuff was preventing me from getting further so i knew the teachers are gonna ask me to quit over at our teams meeting#i instantly contacted my nurse about my situation. and she got me a doctor's appointment which was yesterday#where i kind of broke down a little. not because she didn't grant me the sick leave i thought i was going to get#after feeling down and sleeping terribly for weeks#but because she actually *got me*. like. she actually listened to me and figured out some stuff and told me that#what i'm going through and what i've been going through for years would make anyone depressed#so i couldn't help but cry a little because yeah. i'm so tired of never being enough no matter how hard i try#because my brain's wired a certain way and it makes me slow and kinda clumsy and inattentive at times#which. you might guess is not ideal at today's work environment. or studying-wise even#so instead of granting me sick leave (she did say we can change that at anytime though) she told me to wait for that phone call#from the unemployment office. which i should be getting tomorrow. or well. later today#and talk to them about this. to see if they can offer some solutions. or if we can figure something out#'cause i'm getting closer to my 40s and not getting anywhere and it's wearing me out and tiring me out#because i clearly can't help myself or change my ways on my own#i managed to get some work last week though. at the local youth house. one shift though but money still#but i haven't been getting those offers a lot during the past few months so it's not enough to support me obviously#so i definitely need something else. and i hope i can get help. that someone could help me#i should finally get tested for adhd next month too. i don't know if i even have it or if it's gonna change anything but#at least i'd know#anyway i needed to get this off my chest. cause i'm kinda crying a little bit even now just thinking about this whole thing#sorry
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yael-things · 1 year
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reteaching myself how 2 use ibispaint, so heres an xchara !!!
transparent version under the cut
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starsunfirelight · 2 months
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A Literary Analysis of pov: dating homelander
A lesson in toxic relationships, for everyone to see-✨:sigh:
By: Me
July 14th, 2024
Most recently finished July 28th, 2024
Ah, where do I begin. This afternoon, I was looking through Spotify to find songs that reminded me of a theme. I liked TheKidLaroi’s recent release “GIRLS”, and I was wondering if there was an equivalent to this song from the opposite perspective. I remembered Charli xcx’s “Boys”, and I went to look that up. I found what I was looking for, but, while it did have a chorus related to “boys”, it thematically, felt kinda different. Oh well, there’s always another day, I guess. But in my search for more songs, I came across something, interesting. Something that would change my life forever. Introducing:
 pov: dating homelander by Beatrice bagelish
Now, when I first saw this, I got curious. I was familiar with the series, as it was something I’d seen before in my youtube recommended, but I had not watched the show. And, coincidentally, I had a conversation with someone who had seen the show not too long ago. So, curious, I took a listen. Sooner or later, I discovered, there was a story the author was trying to tell. Here is my understanding of the story:
Who is homelander?
Homelander is a character from Amazon Prime’s television show The Boys, a satirical take on superhero society, if they were to become real, as well as a reflection on real life current society, if you pay attention, close enough. In this show, Homelander is known as an over the top, cartoonishly American superhero, who is nationalistic, and is meant to be the villain, though we see the show through his viewpoint. He resembles real life political figures like former president Donald Trump, among others. I have not seen the show, but through watching clips and reading a synopsis of the show, this is what my assumptions are about the show and his character.
The title
The title of this playlist is “pov: dating homelander”. The title is stylized in lower case, indicating that the title follows a meme format, popularized by TikTok, where people would film themselves acting out certain scenarios, from a character’s point of view. Though, in my experience, most people show the character from a 2nd or 3rd person point of view, rather than a first person point of view. Regardless, the idea is there, and the character they are talking about is intended to be somewhere in the video, whether literally or figuratively. From this, we can guess that this playlist, if it followed typical spotify playlist etiquette, could go in a few directions. Is it meant to be a playlist of songs that a person potentially dating Homelander would listen to? It is meant to be a playlist of songs that Homelander would listen to if he were dating someone, though that would be a misinterpretation of the title? (something that you can’t rule out, as this happens on Tiktok). Is it meant to be a playlist consisting of the “general vibe” of the situation? Is it meant to be a playlist featuring songs that play out this scenario, from a third person point of view? Is it meant to be a playlist from all of the perspectives? Could it somehow be a combination of all of these things? I guess, we’ll just have to listen, and just wait and see.
Also, a note here after listening to the whole playlist, pov: dating homelander doesn’t specify that you’re the one dating Homelander, so we get to see the whole situation from multiple different points of view! :D Oh boy, you’re in for a ride!
What is the importance of the picture of the playlist?
The picture of the playlist accompanies the title pov: dating homelander. There is writing in the TikTok font, which confirms the relation to the meme from TikTok that was mentioned earlier. Also the fact that they are referencing TikTok specifically, when it could also be something that appears on YT shorts or Instagram Reels. They also include a picture of Homelander, and the caption reads: “I can fix him”. They included a picture of Homelander to show, pictorially, the character that they are referring to, in case they had a different “vision” in their head, but also, the pose seems to be a generic pose from the show. Perhaps season 1? He looks proud, and stands tall, almost as if he is looking at the person that the playlist mentions that he is dating. So it appears, at first glance, that everything seems to be going well. Perhaps the author chose a generic frame, to make sure that it fit the playlist as a whole, kind of like a book cover, in a sense. Either way, for whatever reason, this picture sets the tone for what to expect, going into the playlist.
There is a caption on the photo that reads “I can fix him”. This implies that the person dating Homelander is doing so, not because they desire a stable and happy relationship, but because they believe that by being in the relationship, they can change Homelander’s known problematic behaviors to be ones that are… less so. They know that he is problematic, yet they romanticize a “fixed” version of him in their head, much like is common in real life relationships. This is toxic, however, and ultimately, most people find out that they will never be able to fix the person that they are trying to fix, and they must face a decision of whether or not to walk away from the relationship themselves. People cannot change, unless they are willing to change themselves. And, knowing Homelander, it is foolish to think that he could change. This is a fictional setting, so the kind of person that would date Homelander would certainly not be a person who believes in a healthy, stable, co-nurturing relationship, so in order for this playlist to be more realistic to the character, it makes sense that the person dating Homelander would not know that the relationship is toxic, or else they would have left a long time ago. From what I’ve seen of the playlist so far, and keeping this theme in mind, I think at first we will encounter their initial naïvete in the initial stages of their relationship, only for the person dating Homelander to eventually realize that they really can’t “fix him”, and make the heartbreaking decision to move on, which is what is ultimately better for them.
Now, onto the actual playlist!!
Arc 1: The honeymoon phase
Note, I didn’t really pay attention to the lyrics, and didn’t really start to do that until I got to the Lana songs. Also, some of the lyrics were not available through Spotify. But it’s ok to summarize the playlist arcs, or this would be really long lol.
(We know that in this pov, the person dating Homelander is a woman, as I presume Homelander is aggressively nationalist American, for the memes, but also because of songs you’ll see later on) Here, the girl, and Homelander are just having a great time. They have just started dating, and they listen to classically American songs, as is reminiscent of Homelander’s character. Though, there is a message within the patriotic songs that this isn’t right, with the song “Tainted Love”. Crucified has a message of “I know this isn’t right, but leave me alone.” We’ll see Christian imagery come up time and time again. This goes on for a while. All the way up until Layla, I imagine. Here, we see a shift, as this song still has that classic American feel, but it has no lyrics. Perhaps, this is where the girl starts to have a shift in mood.
Arc 2: Trouble in Paradise
The musics stops being highkey energetic, and is more lowkey.
Here, with GOLDWING, we get a song telling someone to remain pure and untraumatized, as the interpretation on Genius reads. This could be a message to Homelander, as the girl naïvely thinks that the critics are all wrong, and Homelander should stay just the way he is. It could also, and I think this is the more likely interpretation, be a message to the girl dating Homelander to please stop seeing him, as things could go bad real soon, if she doesn’t get out.
Later the girl probably realizes that she doesn’t really like Homelander and dates a girl instead, like in Good Luck, Babe! → LUNCH
I looked ahead to the songs I recognized
Alright, here’s the full summary:
Alright, so it’s been a few days, and I think I’m ready to tell you what happened. Sit down, because it’s a long one. 
Ok.
First, Homelander and the girl were all happy. Yeah, sure, the girl knew it was toxic, but who cares! Meanwhile, we have the other girl, who stares at their relationship longingly, knowing it’s not right, and hopes that she would be better off dating her instead. We get a message, saying girl, don’t let yourself be harmed and go through all this trauma. Well, if she did hear it, she definitely ignored it. Important to note, they have kids, whether it was from a previous arrangement, or together. Also, the girl is rich, has tan skin, was from the streets, but she sure knows how to make a man go crazy over her. Well, after a while, the initial excitement of the relationship wears off, and things start to not seem as perfect as it was at the start. Homelander is kinda detached, starts partying around and seeing other girls, and he just mainly sees the girl as a toy. The girl, kinda feeling dejected, goes to see the other girl, and they have an affair. She spoils her with her wealth, and they just have a good time. Homelander eventually catches wind of this, and he’s furious. The two of them have a big argument, and then they break up. We see a song that doesn’t make sense right now, but really, it’s foreshadowing what’s going to happen in the future. A whole “half your age” thing comes up. I might be missing something here. But anyways. Moving along. Homelander is miffed, and he’s upset that she would do this to him. But, as time goes on, he starts falling for her, and realizing what he missed. He gets crazy, and starts stalking her, begging her to get back together with him. Eventually, he’s had enough. He’s out for blood. Out for revenge. If he can’t have her, no one can. He threatens to bomb a school, unless she marries him, and the girl, fearing for her life, agrees.
Years pass, and the two of them are married. They have the kids, and the household is dysfunctional, yet seems to be running alright from the point of view of the public eye. The other girl, remembers her, and knows that they are in a unhappy relationship. (For the girl, anyway.) She seeks out the girl, finds her, and they have a fling. But, the girl won’t commit to the relationship, and pushes her away. This troubles the other girl. Homelander finds out, and he assaults her. He then tries to manipulate her into staying in the relationship by asking “remember all the good times we had?” but she starts to realize just how bad of a person Homelander really is. The other girl gives her the confidence/encourages her to fight back, and then Homelander goes away. He swears to get revenge, but just as that thought is forming in his brain, Homelander dies. The causes are unknown, though I assumed it was a lightning strike of divine intervention. Or just a coincidence. He is punished hard in the afterlife, while going “tell me, this must have been a mistake!!!” 
Now the two girls are happy together. But. oh boy, this is where the real/even worse trouble begins.
At first, they are happy together. But, due to the girl’s internalized homophobia, (we don’t explicitly see the fact that this is a girl, but there were some references throughout so it’s a reasonable conclusion to make), she leaves the other girl.  She later explains how her father/her neglectful not really loving parents were the ones who made her feel this way. Still doesn’t excuse her from being evil though :shruggie:. The girl deals with this breakup poorly, turning to drugs and fame, and gambling! and other people. Through some series of events, they end up meeting again. The other girl is still committed, almost too much, to loving the girl. They “So… can we start over? Can we just be friends?” “Sure :)” They try it out for a while. They have a party time and then the girl explains all her trauma and backstory to the other girl. Again, this doesn’t excuse her from being an evil person :/. The other girl can’t take it anymore, she loves the girl too much. She confesses that she doesn’t just wanna be friends. She is like “please, just let me love you! I love you, why don’t you love me? Why do you insist on leaving me? 🥺” and frankly, starts to consider leaving her, at this rate. The girl is like “Noo, I’m broken, I like to break things, and I’m a horrible person!” (the other girl like you should just believe her at this point.) They still haven’t committed to seeing each other yet 😑. They have a mini breakup, and the girl like immediately starts seeing someone else. She talks to the other girl about them on the phone, and the other girl smiles at the girl’s pain.
Now, this part is a bit unclear to me, but I think, essentially,
 Eventually, the other girl decides that she has had enough. She’s gonna become Mr. Bad Guy. 
At some point here, the girl moves out of the other girl’s place she was staying at, and the other girl is like getting disinterested in the girl, like apathy and bitter resentment.
One fine day, she goes out and kills this person, leaving them to die in the girl’s arms. Now, they were both there, so either one of them could get in trouble for this. (The other girl: I’m a real tough kid, I can handle my issues.) (Though, it’s better than that and more well characterized in the playlist.) 
Or, the girl decided to murder them herself! Like Homelander threatened to do to her, years ago.
She couldn’t handle her own internalized homophobia, and just decided to kill them, to stop the pain.
 So, now, there are no obstacles left for the two of them being together. So, the other girl is like, “Why aren’t we together yet?” The girl starts liking her back. Almost… obsessively. The other girl, however, sees her own worth, and although they had like a movie date, starts finding real love and true fulfillment with the new girl she met earlier. She already mentally gave up on the girl a while ago. The other girl and the new girl meet up, and they kinda have a lovely affair. Then, it kinda feels like the situation when the girl was married to Homelander, in the sense that they’re in a relationship together, but the other girl isn’t happy. Also, there is the murder charge still on the loose, and they have to deal with that somehow. Just… not now. The girl has secrets, and she’s involved in some real shady business, as far as I can tell. Telling secrets in her sleep? Knowing who’s calling even though the number is blocked? Eventually, the girl decides to leave, (no, don’t go! -the other girl), on the run for her murder charges I think, and the other girl is “I’ll know wherever you go. You might be able to hide from other people, but you can’t hide from me.” They go long distance. But, the other girl finally has had it with the girl, they break up for like the third time and this time they have an argument and the other girl forces the girl to face her internalized homophobia, and basically decides to leave the girl for good. “Fine. You can date all the boys you want, just know that that will never be able to get rid of your true feelings. Don’t say I didn’t tell you so.”  
The other girl finds the new girl she met earlier (or maybe for the first time!), and they have a great time. Especially since it’s being reciprocated in such a sweet way ☺️. The new girl is a bit apprehensive, but the other girl is like “come on! don’t be shy! 🙂” and they’re falling in love. The other girl mentions, why aren’t we living together? (I think it’s from how they’re still in a long distance relationship, but it looks like it could be for the new girl here instead.) idk!
Gonna have to go back for that one!
 But here, we get another prophecy/foreshadowing song. This is supposed to tease the idea that even though Homelander may be dead, his ideas are not. And if you haven’t noticed already, the girl is well on her way to becoming Homelander 2.0. (:O this was a huge shocker to me when I was first listening to this playlist, and I think this is around the time that it all finally started to click for me.)  Then, the girl finds out that the other girl was cheating on her, (cuz like they still hadn’t made their on again off again relationship official???) and that’s when this time, the other girl fights back! They are now over for good! 😀 The girl realizes just how much she loves the other girl (Oh would you look at that, just like Homelander! 😀) and the other girl is nicer than the girl, so like the girl doesn’t die. But she starts getting all stalker and obsessive, just like Homelander did. The other girl ends up in jail, now that the girl wouldn’t cover for her murder charges, and maybe pins it on the other girl (“See? I have connections, thanks to being the wife of Homelander. Now, if you’d just love me back, I’d pay your $250,000 bail! I’m rich, remember?” “Yea No. 😐” “Ok… whatever you say.” and she leaves.)  Well, anyways. It’s over now! Party time with the new girl who actually loves her back!!!!! 😀  The girl tries coming back, but the other girl isn’t having it. The trauma affected her a little bit, but the new girl reassures her, so it’s all ok. This is nothing like before. That’s all in the past. Now, they have each other. 🙂 You try to mess with me? The AUDACITY! Coming back after all of this? No, I don’t think so. Get away. So, the girl looks on, sad, seeing them happy in public, “Was I not enough? 😔 (NO, and you should have done better, girl)” and the two girls the other girl and the new girl live happily every after. The other girl knows her love is real love this time. ☺️ The End.
(we know it’s a new girl because of songs like good luck, babe! and more importantly, LUNCH! :D) Waterloo is the perfect end to this all, because it wraps up the lesson that we learned, that history will repeat again, time and time again, and they end up getting married. YAY!!!!! 🥳 🎉 🎊 💒 👰‍♀️👰‍♀️💍 💕 💘 :happily ever after, The end! 💗🩷 🎈🙂 🔚
She knows her love is real this time
Character cards:
Homelander: Loud, aggressive, toxic, charming, the villain
Songs/Artists: Charlie, Fall Out Boy
Headcannon brown hair -> black, brown skin
The girl: rich neglectful parents who don’t really love her, but she knows how to get what she wants, is from the streets, looks like Esmerelda, rocks a dress in pink, pearls, loves to spoil her girlfriend, has status and power after marrying Homelander, has kids, also is hot to people, really knows how to get men to love her, for some reason (or maybe that’s just Homelander idk)
Lana, Crazy Girls idk wow we don’t really see her perspective as much, huh Guys My Age
Marina, unfortunately. I mean, if the shoe fits? 🤷‍♀️
Madonna is like them (the girl and the other girl) together :0 
Headcannon brown hair dyed blonde -> black, pale skin but idk
The other girl: Not rich, poor, sweet, soft, butch, (or is the girl a butch? Update: more lore makes the latter more likely???), loves the girl, is strong, and wants her to leave her relationship with Homelander, is very hot to everyone, seasoned traveler, a world renowned heartbreaker, guess it was never that serious until she met her 🥹, is younger than both of them(?) a hopeless romantic 💕
Lesley Gore, Harry Styles, Brittany Spears, Lady Gaga
Lily Allen describes her to a tee>>>ya! Oh D:
The New Girl: Trusting, loyal, kind, sweet, a work of art, actually knows what a healthy relationship looks like…
Songs: Sarah Smiles? Nah, You Should Be Dancing, Got To Be Real, the good girl in Karma, etc. Waterloo :) (they’re endgame! Lol)
Charlie’s Inferno into Here Comes The Sun is DIABOLICAL
You can feel the sun in that song….. ☀️ ☁️ ⛰️ 🌊
and now the universe is giving me what I deserve - karma
Side note, there are tons of brilliant callbacks in this playlist. Like, I didn’t think that the fact that the girl was rich would be mentioned after the first time, but it remains a recurring theme throughout. It even serves as a way to symbolize whose perspective we are seeing, most of the time (until perhaps the very end of the playlist, when perhaps the other girl has acquired wealth of her own.) We see songs that foreshadow future events, like GOLDWING, Rumor Has It, and Happy Nation.
-other continuing themes
-Homelander was a cannibal in the figurative sense, and then so became the girl
-Homelander used campy and upbeat songs to symbolize his craziness, and as the girl gets more deranged, the songs become more upbeat and campy.
-Each character has a distinctive style of song they get attached to, and there are some recurring artists that usually symbolize one character.
-Homelander mentions wanting to die, then threatening to blow up the school
-the girl having brown skin (Esmerelda, Harry Styles)
-the use of happy, sunny songs after escaping from a bad relationship is just wow
-using the same song twice really sells the idea that the girl really has become Homelander 2.0
-the whole history repeats itself theme was brilliant, and I really did not see that coming. 
-loving you is cherry pie comes up again, lol
The Ballad of Mona Lisa
There’s nothing wrong with a little taste of what you paid for
WHAT DOES THAT LINE MEAN?????
within the context of this plotline, I mean
Please tell me!
-payed for the alcohol with money
-payed for the relationship??? No??? What?? Why 😭
The other girl has been giving so much and getting little to nothing in return 🥺
The rumor has it foreshadowing happens after the fight with homelander, hmm what a strange place to put it
But I guess it makes sense.
You leave me, I leave you!
Like the story gets all hectic and busy after this, and like this is a good place to put it like as a filler episode,, and like a break from all the action from the before and after this takes place
Songs mesh together really well, and it’s giving theater kid! But like, I feel like the amount of talent and skill it takes to make a playlist like this kinda require it
Most of the songs are super popular songs, and also popularized from tiktok
Makes sense given the title and picture on the playlist cover
Back to the main story!!!! (after the commercial break after Rumor Has It lol)
Batphone
I sell the fact that I can’t be bought
Line hits hard after you know the context by this part of the playlist
The other girl used to get spoiled by the girl, but she isn’t taking it anymore. She’s done.
It’s crazy the lore Billie puts in. I mean, the bail? It’s huge! An exact number???? WOw.
Good luck babe!
I told you a lie, that you were the love of my life
Was it casual, now?
Cuz girls is players, too.
>I said it all before and I’ll say it again
>I’m interested in more than just being your friend
She’s said it to the girl before, and got rejected, and now we have her! 
It’s like you can feel the whole world collapsing in on that statement
The girl picked up smoking, just like Homelander
-smokin out the window’
-exes house
-lay all your love on me
The girl also wasn’t treating it seriously, until she fell in love in Lay All Your Love On Me
Like the last half of the playlist really kills it
Or maybe it’s because I can really understand that part, and the message is clear post foreshadowing with happy nation
L’amour de ma vie and I will survive are like oddly perfect for what went down over here.
This story serves as a cautionary tale, that we should all be well aware of. It’s the foundational basis for the feeling in the song Casual by Chappell Roan. Oh yeah, now you know why she was bitter (if you didn’t already know, and in that case, I’m so sorry for you 😭) This story tells us many things. Just because you're the protagonist of a story, doesn’t mean you can’t do wrong. Just because a person is a woman, doesn’t mean they can’t be a manipulative conniving abusive partner, like you might have expected from other people. (Really, this could be everyone. Anyone is capable of this, and that’s important to know.)
This story lets you reexamine biases that you may not even know that you had.
I mean, there are always villains in media. But when’s the last time you’ve seen a villain be a woman? And a lesbian, at that? 🤔
Blew my mind. (kinda sad I hadn’t seen it before, I should have expected it, tbh)
This playlist taught me a lesson, and they taught it well.
Good and bad can come in many forms, it’s all just a matter of perspective
History repeats itself. The cycle of abuse repeats itself. That was the main theme of this story, I think.
Just because someone is a person who suffered from abuse, doesn’t exempt them from becoming an abuser later on. In fact, it’s super likely.
The abused become the abusers
It takes a special kind of person to love someone really messed up
And like sometime that ain’t a good thing
Don’t give it all away to someone who can’t even love you back >:(
save your tears for another day
I understand a fraction of Chappell Roan’s pain 😔😔👍
“I can fix him” NO YOU CAN’T. LEAVE< NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The author could be reflecting on their own real life experience, which makes me really sad 😥
I’m going to leave you with this song, as a conclusion, while you see the list of patreons on screen. Thank you. And have a good day! 😀
California - Chappell Roan
Casual - Chappell Roan (this one hurts so maybe not 😖)
This album literally changed my life. I am now, forever changed, I carry the burden of the lives I lived, used to know, and maybe somedays will be. Beatrice bagelish, this one’s for you.
I can’t be who I was anymore. I literally became an adult because of you. Chappell Roan may have taught me the ways, but you made me grow up. I will remember this, forever. Even though I may forget, the feeling will be carried with me, til the end of time. I can’t ignore who I am anymore. ( just really love this music in the playlist, and can’t deny that I love it anymore.)
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welcometogrouchland · 9 months
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I love it when "they should be at the club" is like, an actual character dynamic, with person A looking at person B as they work themselves to the bone/throw their own happiness away for the greater good/take on more responsibility than anyone could ever hope to bear and they're just like. Hey. You should be at the club
#ramblings of a lunatic#this is about Barbara Gordon and Cassandra Cain in batgirl volume 1#literally babs is like cass wouldn't it be nice if you did things that normal 17 yr old girls get to do-#-instead of living and dying in your kung fu self hate cycle that will inevitably destroy you???#and cass is like. no#cassandra cain (and bruce wayne) voice:#''everyone asks if there's anyway to stop the self sacrifice spiral never how was the spiral it looked fun was the spiral fun?''#dick is also this for bruce but the club is less literal in that specific sense#(also this is soooo far removed from their canon dynamic. but play with me in this space for a bit-#-this but it's steph @ jason)#(like she realizes he's the same age as cass- she would not have guessed bc he's fucking huge and grizzled-#-and she's like damn. you should be at the club jason-#-just an in passing observation! arguably ribbing him about his melodramatic vengeance quest-#-that becomes a lot harder to take seriously when you remember he's barely old enough to legally drink)#(and jasons just like. what would i even do at the club steph. what part of me seems like a guy who would have fun at the club)#(Jason and Bruce are both too autistic for the club. cass is the right amount of sensory seeking autistic to get something out of the club-#-but really babs should be taking her to a mosh pit for maximum enrichment. she'd thrive)#ANYWAY. having a moment ignore me#my previously obtained ibuprofen is the last defence against me and certain doom (sore throat oof ouch)#like that meme of the soldier with knives and bombs in his back protecting the sleeping child#point being idk how long it'll last so i should sleep sooner rather than later to get the max benefits
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nomairuins · 20 days
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bedtime nowww probably ummm today qas not what i wanted it 2 be but its fine. i dont feel negative just a very very very numb day which is almost worse. but only almost 🙏
#i did get thr laundry done didnt fold it didnt take a shower#so thatll hopefuly be tmrw#i hope im able to do an activity with somebody tmrw.... the kids will be back at school so umm. no risk of weeman asking for my laptop in#the morning. or maybe me n lamp could play aa... idk#i feel like such a loser i go 1 day without bothering my family and im like wahhh im lonely. Can you shut up ..... we r better than this.#but wtvr. thats also a mean thought and i shouldnt be idolizing the way i lived last year. We were taking spongebaths and eating#1 bowl of soup a day crying ourselves to sleep every night and literally going weeks on end wo talking to our loved ones. so why am i like#We need to go back ! well i know why its bc i cant just let myself heal and move on bc of my stupid complex#and tbf i was very efficient back then. i ws able to do my spongebaths at least every 3 days and i did my laundry every week right on#schedule and i had a job....all it took was literally not being a person in any meaningful way FJFNGJGN. idk#it was very simple. its still very simple perhaps simpler (#no job) but instead i just feel guilty i guess. sbt everything#which i ws doing last year but again i was too out of it to rly dwell. i just cried at work a lot abt it#but now its like. i dont have a job to go to to focus on. my interests/hobbies can only distract me for a few days maximum b4 they become#nothing 2 me. and then im just back in limbo again and it feels pointless#and even when its a 'good' phase of something actually keeping me distracted from everything its like. not. all it does is ruin my sleep#schedule again yk. ik im literally the timeloop guy so u think id loveee Everyday being exactly the same over and over and over but well i#dont. bc they arent actually the same day theyre just reminders that everything does keep fucking going but im stuck. which is the opposite#of what i want. and what id have if the beautiful timeloop would simply rescue me. wtvr tho.... she doesnt even know i exist 😥#little joke. IDK. like i said its better ig than having a truly miserable day but. man. i wish everything was better#i ws gonna say like it used to be but. yk. ive been depressed since i was like 7 its not like. idk. i wish i was born different and i wish#my head worked and i wish none of it had evrr happened. but itis ok. i cant think of a funny cutesy alternative to put here so we will just#say nothing. yay
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narugen · 3 months
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GWUH i love when comments tell me how i might have prolonged certain aspects of my fic but then reassure me it Gets Better to read (very important to meeeee).. thank u to user swirling wind of repetition ur comment made my DAY!!!!! (crying)
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UGHHELDEWOSKPENEPEJDPSKEKDKE SOMEONE TOOK THE TIME TO WRITE ALL OF THIS IM SICKKKK IM SO TOUCHED
#egg boils#comments#<- was that my tag#UGHHHHH THIS MAKES ME SO HAPPY.#I ALSO GOT MORE COMMENTS AFTER THIS AND I. WE FRUCKINB CRODEEEE#FAVE#save#also smth abt the angst is that it was literally the basis of the fic bc i wanted hoshina to be comforting her each time and i know his own#thoughts must’ve been so frustrating to read MY BAD REALLY like what is ur problem girl but also#<- thinking abt it i did make hoshina confess First Verbally which is woah. in its own sense bc all this while he would only initiate to#comfort or help his captain…. but when he doesn’t have that excuse of reaching out anymore n she’s the one who takes care of him instead 🤔#i guess that also helps him gain a bit more confidence and see where he truly stands beside her#like yeah flowers r cute and all but the confirmation she wants him and will stay by his side too.. (something she said previously and Then#proceeded to do so when she found him in the dojo) WHICH BTW. she figured out smth was wrong w the text messages but never got the chance to#find out properly bc she’d always miss the timing. girl who’s been staying on base recently and KNOWS where hoshina wld go when he can’t#sleep but never catches him bc she’s either too late or he never shows up (choosing to lie awake in bed instead)#ARGHHHHHH MY HSMN#hoshina afraid to take the first step but he does it anyway DOES IT ANYWAY BECSUSE HE WONT LIVE FOREVER AND i think with the raid on#tachikawa base and other significant deaths it gets a lot more Obvious
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turbocao · 3 months
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My sim invited a girl from Downtown to a holiday to the beach and on the first night they had sex in a sleeping tent, but on the second night she just stood outside the tent like that all night long.
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hylianengineer · 5 months
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I mostly like living with other people but if they don't stop stealing my food I will explode.
The worst part is that no one will admit to it, but there are only so many people who have access to our fridge. We've also had stuff mysteriously appear in there that no one will admit to putting there. I almost wonder if my roommate's friends she invites over sometimes are to blame, because surely she wouldn't lie to me about this? And she doesn't have much of a motive to lie about who the moldy tupperware belongs to, considering we've all made that mistake and no one gets mad about it.
I'd just really like my food to stop disappearing, okay? It's always the good, expensive food too. Regular food thievery is bad enough, but stealing food from someone with food restrictions who A) can't easily get more and B) has to pay three times as much for food as everyone else? Really fucking uncool.
Yes, I know the mature responsible thing to do about this is have an actual conversation with my roommate. But I'm not going to do that, I'm going to continue quietly seething.
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mystery-salad · 2 years
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A force to reckon with
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ereborne · 6 months
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Song of the Day: March 26
"Songs About Rain" by Gary Allan
#song of the day#you might think that this is the opposite of 'Groovy Little Summer Song' but nope! closer to same because (drumroll)#they are one of the very best categories of thing: Country Songs About Country Songs#I love them. I adore them#'Songs About Rain' is one of the strongest and best examples of type I have (also 'Cheatin Songs' by Midland. impeccable)#'and it sure ain't easin my pain / all these songs like / Rainy Night in Georgia / Kentucky Rain#Here Comes That Rainy Day Feelin Again / Blues Eyes Cryin in the Early Mornin Rain#they go on and on and there's no two the same / oh it would be easy to blame / all these songs about rain'#what a gift. what a delight. legitimately hard to sing this song in a mournful voice because it makes me so damn happy#anyway as you might glean from how this is posting at 3 pm my time: my sleep schedule is /fucked/#I did have part of the bad conversation with my boss on Monday (immediately followed by garden times#which so overtook me that I spoke only about the garden and good spring feeling in my song post. what a blessing the garden is)#but mostly what happened is I said 'hey it is technically possible for me to make this but it will not help it will not do anything useful'#and my boss said 'but you can make it' and I said 'yes but we shouldn't. it will be a waste of time' and she said 'make it by Thursday'#and I said 'I absolutely cannot make it by Thursday. if I finish instead this better thing I've already been working on--'#and she said 'no we don't care about that thing. make part of the useless thing. by Thursday morning'#and I said 'if I bring you part of the useless thing and part of the good thing and I directly compare them in front of you--'#and she said 'we'll look at whatever you have Thursday morning but it's the useless thing we care about'#so the meeting is scheduled and I'm going to plead for the life of my better thing and probably the best I'll get is permission to do both#which is. I mean the useless thing is going to be a time-waster for sure but at least it won't be actively detrimental to anything?#it'll be fine I'll make it be fine. the inherent problems of when your boss doesn't actually know what you do for them I guess :/#(also maybe. maybe if it comes down to it. maybe I'll just make the good thing for myself and use it to make my own life better#and someday maybe they'll ask for a project that works and then I'll be able to dramatically unveil it but either way I'll benefit from it#hmm maybe yeah)
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deva-arts · 1 year
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Seraphina, a bit of a bird , a bit of a human . Maybe. But, my question. When she eats eggs, is it technically cannibalism?
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Long answer: no. Short answer, no.
#vincenttag#nathanieltag#soniasanderstag#amontag#let amon be croccy as a treat#Oc rambles in the tags tag#everyone but nate and sera is sitting on the floor. it's cozier in a pile i guess. they do this a lot.#nate is the only one interested in this all because he's a big nerd when it comes to people's inner workings#literally and metaphorically! dude loves biology and psychology. what a nerd. what a goof. someone staple a 'kick me' sign on his sweater.#vincent just eats raw things sometimes. for no reason. he thinks it's a way to quote 'learn food better' but then he does this sh*t#vince also thinks it's cool and edgy. it is not. no one is okay with this. just eat your meals cooked and stay in your lane vincent#sera hates the bird comparisons because she's heard so much of it. puns. jokes. gags. nicknames. getting birdseed for christmas.#Made an entire presentation only to confuse her friends further on the bird situation#sonia's three moods are “flirty” “happy” and “Ick”#Amon likes to nap in his other form since he doesn't use it and it gets uncomfy after a while. Woken up for this... He barely rests as is :#To answer the age old question#no it is not cannibalism. they are not birds and if they still have traces of bird DNA it is definitely not from chicken or fowl#birds eat other birds all the time too. from eating eggs to eating their own eggs to eating smaller birds- they're like fish in that sense.#Sera used to order chicken a lot when with her former partners to try and dispel the 'but bird though' thoughts before they manifested#It did not work.#vince has a tendency of ripping all of his shirt sleeves and backs off instead of. y'know. getting them tailored. Sonia sobs every time#sera gave nate a similar 'watch' to hers. when activated it becomes a handy dandy lethal weapon! he has to wear it to sleep 'just in case.'#sera strapped it to his wrist saying 'don't worry. it isn't dangerous. to us.' and he hasn't slept the same since. yay vigilante waifu!#ARK_SYSTEMA#Seraphinatag#art#artwork#digital art#my art#my artwork
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feeling very scared and alone in the club tonight
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kalashtars · 10 months
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nothing like the last 2 weeks of the semester to make you question every life decision you've ever made
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cryptidsdad · 4 months
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just realized that since we took the mattress out of the guest bedroom (so I can put my own in there once we build the bed frame) that I have nowhere to sleep tonight
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