#guess who now has to admit they’re a doll collector

[demonic-silver-and-gold]

Did I really spend a full paycheck in one sitting? Yes. Will I regret this? God I hope not

[marvelmaniac715]

Chucky characters finding out they’re fictional (guest starring me!):

————————————————————-

Chucky:

Chucky: Wait a minute, the franchise is about me, right? So that means, I’m virtually invincible. I can’t die cause then the franchise would be over. In that case… I have plot armour!

Author: I don’t think that’s how any of this works-

Chucky: You hear that? I’ve got fuckin’ plot armour! I’m gonna go play with some lions at the zoo, they can’t kill me, I’m gonna live forever!

Author: Chucky, this isn’t a movie or tv episode, I don’t think you should-

Chucky runs into the distance, whooping and hollering.

Author: This won’t end well.

————————————————————-

Andy:

Andy (crying): W-why? What kind of monster would choose this? I was a child.

Author: They couldn’t make an evil toy movie about some random adult guy, it just wouldn’t be right. Not that I have anything against adult toy collectors, but, y’know.

Andy: I exist for entertainment? And you watch it?

Author: Hey, don’t get mad at me, none of this is my fault. I mean, sure, watching the movies and show gives money to the studios who fund more Chucky projects based on the success, but I didn’t personally cause your trauma-

Andy: So who is to blame?

Author: Well, I can’t remember all the scriptwriters and directors off the top of my head, but I guess you could start with Don Mancini-

Andy runs into the distance.

Author: I should probably stop him. Oh well, he’ll come back soon. Probably…

————————————————————-

Tiffany:

Tiffany: This is crazy. So, Jennifer Tilly’s real and plays me, but I’m not. But I’m in her body, which makes me Jennifer Tilly. So technically, I’m real.

Author: I have no words. Just- no.

Tiffany: The logic’s there.

Author: You’re more flexible than I thought you were. You have to be, cause those are some insane mental gymnastics, girl.

Tiffany begins to laugh maniacally as Author watches with growing concern.

Author: She is not okay.

————————————————————-

Kyle:

Kyle: So basically, I’m a sequel final girl?

Author: I guess so.

Kyle: The writers love K names, don’t they? I mean, ‘Karen’ and ‘Kyle’? What’s the final girl in film three? ‘Katie’?

Author: Close, it’s Kristin. Wow, how have I never realised this before?

Kyle: I told you, it’s a trend! What about film four?

Author: Jade.

Kyle: Huh, maybe someone pointed out the similarities?

Author: But now that you mention it…

Kyle: Go on…

Author: Her last name is Kincaid… Oh my god.

Kyle: So what have we learned today? Sometimes writers pick a theme and stick to it. For example, Chucky writers and creators picked the K name theme for their final girls and stuck to it.

Author: Seed of Chucky technically doesn’t have a final girl. And the final girl in the series is called Lexi. Not to mention Nica Pierce, who is an icon.

Kyle: They finally broke the trend? So proud of them.

————————————————————-

Jake:

Jake: The only reason I exist is to act as  a foil to a murderous doll. As if I didn’t have enough issues already…

Author: Jake, are you okay?

Jake: Would you be okay if you were only brought into existence in order to suffer?

Author: I mean… I guess not.

————————————————————-

Glen and Glenda (GG doesn’t exist in this magical fourth-wall breaking universe):

Glenda: And people like you choose to watch this? There are some messed up people in the world, who hurt you guys?

Author: At first I watched for the novelty, but your father has a surprisingly magnetic personality for a psychopathic killer doll.

Glen: This does explain everything that we’ve ever wondered about ourselves. But why bring a talented actor into the franchise to essentially create us only to kill them off and combine our two souls into a doll.

Author: Two words. Billy Boyd. The man’s a legend. Sorry about the whole GG situation, but you’ve gotta admit, Billy has a nice voice.

Glen and Glenda look at each other and nod, unable to deny it.

————————————————————

Andy:

Author has tracked Andy down to his apartment, they are tired and panic stricken. Andy has a gun.

Author: Andy… put the gun down.

Andy: No, you can’t stop me from killing Don Mancini. I’m gonna do it!

Author: But if he dies you may die as well! 

Andy: Trust me, death is welcome after the shit I’ve been through!

Author: Andy, no. Do you need to talk to a licensed professional?

Andy: Desperately.

————————————————————-

Chucky:

Chucky: And my franchise makes how much money?

Author gives the estimated figure but is too lazy to actually google the number so *insert number here*.

Chucky: Okay, where do I sign up to get my cut of the profit? They’d be nothing without me, I deserve the cash.

————————————————————-

Nica:

Nica: So my actor is the daughter of Chucky’s voice actor? Are the creators implying that I’m Chucky’s kid?

Author: Nica, nobody knows. I mean, there’s been some hints, and I wrote a couple of fanfics/theories about it on Tumblr (check my profile if you’re new) but it’s all speculation.

Nica: But it’s a possibility?

Author: …Maybe?

Nica: My life sucks.

Author: We all know, you don’t have to tell us.

————————————————————-

Tiffany:

Tiffany is still cackling. Author decides to stand up and gently usher Glen and Glenda (who’ve been there the whole time) out of the room.

Author: C’mon kids. She’s- she’s too far gone…

————————————————————-

Parting words:

Author: I’ve gathered all of you here in the same room (probably a bad idea) to ask if you have any parting words for your fans.

Andy: The other survivors and I have coordinated this response.

Andy, Kyle, Nica, Glen, Glenda and Jake: Why do you like watching us suffer?

Author: I’m just gonna jump in and answer for the fandom here. Nobody enjoys it exactly, but the movies and tv show would be super boring if it was just Chucky stabbing at the air or something. Horror movies need victims otherwise it’s just some guy in a disguise of some sort cackling manically and attacking thin air with a variety of weapons. Let’s move on to the people that I’m low-key terrified of sitting so close to. Chucky, Tiffany, any parting words for your fans?

Tiffany: Thank you all for being so sweet, from the google searches I did a couple minutes ago, I gathered that a lot of people like me, and I’m touched that I’m still considered hot.

Author: Tiffany, you could never not be good looking, you’re my favourite character, I love you, platonically obviously, but you’re a literal icon, and I need you to know that.

Tiffany: Duly noted.

Chucky: Hey, we’re all here cause of me, don’t I get to say anything?

Author: Of course Chucky, what’s on your mind?

Chucky: Okay, first thing’s first, I found the Kill Count and I’m obsessed. Secondly, I hate most people, but I guess my fans aren’t the worst people in the world. You’re still not safe though…

Author (becoming anxious and suddenly realising that they’re sitting right next to Chucky with an exposed neck and they’re in strangling range): That’s about all we have time for, join us next time for a Q and A session with the characters! That’s enough now Chucky, please stop looking at me like that… Wait- ARGGH!-

Author is strangled offscreen, but due to the magic of plot armour, will miraculously be alive for the next fic.

[smuttykpopscenarios]

The Drummer Next Door

Anon: Hi, I love your blog! could you do neighbors with drummer Park Chanyeol that practices at random times late at night when OC goes to complain in her pjs he says "want a private show?" while smirking you can end it however you want it doesn't have to be Chanyeol. Pretty please with a cherry on top? Thank you so much.

Author: Admin A

Character(s): Chanyeol (EXO)/Reader

Word Count: 2,287

Summary: Who the hell thinks it’s ok to practice drums at 3:30 in the morning? My neighbor, that’s who. 

I growled and pulled the pillow down over my head, but it did little to drown out the consistent drumming. Bass drum, snare, cymbals. The whole nine yards. This happened on the regular where my neighbor would be up at all hours banging away on his drum set. And it pissed me the fuck off. With an aggravated yell, I sat up and hurled my pillow against the wall, turning to look at the clock. 3:35 am. 3:35 am?! What the fuck is this?! Does he not sleep?!

Enough is enough.

I pulled myself out of bed, running my hands through my hair quickly as I slipped on my shoes. I stepped outside my door, turning to knock on my neighbor’s. At least sharing a duplex, I didn’t need to walk very far. I brought down my fist on his door before stepping back and crossing my arms. There was the crash of a cymbal and some muttered swearing before the front door opened. I glared up at my neighbor as he wiped his face with the white towel around his neck.

“Can I help you?” He looked me up and down, biting his lip.

“Do you have any idea what time it is?!” I yelled.

          “I could ask you the same thing. Have a habit of going over to guy’s places at 3:30 in the morning?” He smirked and leaned against the door frame, looking down at me.

“Only when they decide it’s time to play rock star and I need to tell them to shut the fuck up! You’ve been doing this for the past month and I’ve had enough. You know, I thought you were cute when you moved in but I’m so fed up with your consistent-“

“You think I’m cute, eh?” His eyebrow quirked up as he cut me off and I felt my cheeks flush. Shouldn’t have said that. His smirk widened and he leaned down closer to me, the light sheen of sweat on his face and neck glistened in the light of the doorway. I opened and closed my mouth a few times, trying to find the words to say.

“W-well I mean, yeah…But that’s not the point here! The point is I can’t sleep and it’s almost 4 in the morning!” I tried so hard to get my wits about me to sound commanding, but my voice let me down, coming out much softer and less assured than I had hoped it would.

“I’m sorry I interrupted your beauty sleep, gorgeous.” The smirk was ever present on his face as he righted himself, opening the door a bit more as he stepped up to me. I could feel the heat coming off of him. “How about I give you a private show, to make up for it?” He brushed a bit of my messy hair from my face as I stared up at him with wide eyes, at a loss for words. “Trust me, you won’t be disappointed.” He winked and moved inside, leaving the door open for me. I had to admit, his confidence was incredibly attractive. I hesitated for a moment before stepping in after him, shutting the door behind me.

I wasn’t sure what I was expecting his house to look like. After all, it was just a mirror image of mine. It was extremely clean, the shelves well organize with books and figurines. I set my shoes next to his, following the sound of the snare that he has started rapping away at again. The bedroom he was using as his music room was full of instruments. Several guitars sat on stands or wall mounts in one corner, accompanied with their amps. A keyboard was set up across from the rather extensive drum kit that Chanyeol was currently sitting at, twirling his drumstick. There was a set of shelves with music books, knickknacks and more figurines. He was clearly quite the collector. He smirked when he saw me walk in.

“I had a feeling you’d follow me.”

“Yeah, well, I’m already up I guess.” I sat down on the keyboard chair, across from him. He winked at me again as he brushed his hair back from his eyes.

“You’re in for a treat, doll.” With that, he started pumping the bass, launching in to a jam session. I couldn’t keep myself from tapping my foot along to the beat. I’d be lying if I said he was a bad drummer. I had just never paid much attention, cause it was usually while I was trying to sleep that I heard him playing. I watched him as he played, the muscles in his arms rippled and his nearly too tight black tank top accentuated every move he made. I crossed my arms over my chest, suddenly very self-conscious of the fact that I came over in my pajamas. He glanced up at me and smiled before finishing his session. He set his sticks down and came over to me, his chest rising and falling at a quicker rate, the sheen of sweat visible on his arms now. He stood over me as I looked up at him.

“Well, what did you think beautiful?” I reached up and scratched the back of my head, a nervous tick of mine.

“You’re really good,” was all I was able to get out. He chuckled and bent down so his face was inches from mine.

“Am I?” His breath smelt minty fresh and his face was so beautiful any words I could have said got caught in my throat. All I could do was nod. His smirk was back on his face as he watched me. “Cat got your tongue gorgeous?” I nodded again, glancing down at his lips before back at his eyes, my ears feeling like they were on fire. “I saw that glance. You know, the drums wasn’t the only think I meant by a private show, beautiful.” He tilted his head slightly, leaning towards me till there was barely any space between us. My heart was sprinting as I closed my eyes. He closed the distance between us, pressing his lips against mine gently, but assertively. He was in charge, and he made it known by the controlled power in his kiss. My heart lept to my throat. He broke the kiss a moment later, watching my face. My eyes fluttered open and I looked back at him. There was a moment of silence before I reached up and cupped his face, pulling his lips back to mine in a needy kiss.

I could feel him smirking into the kiss as he returned mine. His hands snaked around my waist and he picked me up. I locked my legs around his body, clinging to him as I kissed him. His hands supported my weight under my ass, massaging it gently as he walked us to what I assumed was his bedroom. He broke the kiss to set me on the bed before ridding himself of his tank top, tossing it somewhere in the room. Once rid of the garment, he crawled over me, sliding his hands up under my shirt, lifting it off. The grin on his face was blinding. “No bra?” I flushed a bright red.

“W-Well, I was trying to sleep when I came over a-and-“ He cut me off with a quick kiss.

“All the better for me beautiful.” With that, he moved to kissing down my neck, nipping gently at the skin as he did. I reached up and laid my hands on his shoulders, lolling my head back to feel his lips more against my skin. As he worked his way down, he pressed his hips against me, and I could feel him getting excited through his sweatpants. Trying to tease a bit, I bucked my hips up against him. The friction caused a moan to come from my lips and a growl to come from his. He leaned back, stopping his trail of kisses to look down at me. There was a primal glint in his eyes that caused an excited shiver to run up my spine. I smirked up at him, a mirror of his own.

“You wanna tease baby girl?” He leaned closer to my face. “That could be a dangerous game to play.”

“Maybe I like a little danger?” He grinned and I felt his fingers slip in to the hem of my pants for a moment before yanking then down. I arched my hips up to let help and he yanked them off of me, discarding them in the room with the rest of our clothes.

“Simple white panties, how cute.” He grinned and swiped a finger over me. I gasped and bucked at the sudden stimulation. “And they’re already absolutely soaked. You naughty girl.” My cheeks were a fiery shade of red, I was certain of it. “Don’t worry, I’ll take perfect care of you.” I nodded slightly, before reaching up to tug at the hem of his pants. He chuckled low in his throat before sitting back and obliging me, ridding himself of his pants and boxers. My eyes widened slightly when I saw how big he was and he chuckled, reaching up to cup my cheek. “Everything will be ok baby girl.” With that, his lips were back on mine as a hand dipped between my legs, teasing my clit.

I grabbed his biceps, digging my nails lightly in to the skin as I moaned, bucking my hips up against his hand. He swallowed my moans, nibbling at my lips as he slipped a finger inside of me, quickly followed by another. It was his turn to moan in to my mouth as I clenched down around his fingers. I had never felt such amazing need before.

After he had had enough fun teasing me, he slipped his fingers out of me, drawing a whine from my lips. “Patience, baby girl. You’re going to like this so much better.” He spread my legs, kneeling between them as he reached in to the night stand, pulling out a condom. He tore the foil with his teeth before slipping it on. Once he was satisfied with that, he leaned down, hovering over me as he reached between us, lining himself up with me. With a firm yet gentle thrust, he slowly guided himself in to me. I gripped tightly on to his arms as I arched my back, my eyes closing tightly. Chanyeol let out a moan that resonated through his chest.

“Fuck, oh fuck,” he hissed out between his teeth. I could feel his eyes watching me as he slowly sank the rest of the way in to me. “How’s that baby girl?” I whimpered softly, nodding as I opened my eyes to look at him.

“M-move, Chanyeol.” He smirked at me and I felt his hips draw back before he thrust back into me, hard. I gasped and tossed my head back again, the pleasure already starting to run through me. Chanyeol’s head fell to the crook of my neck and he bit down on the skin, drawling a mewl from my lips. The sound only spurred him on, his hips moving even faster, causing the bed to rock with every thrust. The moans coming from my mouth were nearly constant, and the pitch was steadily raising.

Suddenly, his hips stopped and he pulled out of me. I let out a whine of displeasure until he flipped me over, picking up my hips before slamming back into me from behind. I let out a scream of pleasure as he did, barely able to catch my breath as my stomach started to tighten up. “O-Oh f-fuck! Chanyeol!” He growled as I screamed his name, hunching over me as he pressed his stomach against my back, bucking in to me. “Fuck I’m cl-close!” I whined as he bit down on my shoulder again before lifting his head to brush his lips against my ear.

“Fucking cum for me baby girl. Let me hear you scream.” He bit my ear and my hands balled up in to fists as he words tipped me over the edge. My vision turned white as the pleasure washed over me, his name a scream on my lips. He continued to pound into me, drawing out the pleasure until he met me at my high. He held his hips firmly against mine, biting down on my shoulder again. That would definitely leave a bruise tomorrow. My chest heaved and heart raced as I tried to catch my breath.

As he relaxed, he carefully slipped out of me, catching me as I collapsed and laid me gently on the bed before going to dispose of his condom, cleaning up a bit before lying next to me in bed. I rolled over to face him, my cheeks still flushed. He smirked at me, brushing my damp hair from my face.

“How was that for a private show, gorgeous?” I smiled and chuckled, shaking my head.

“You’re quite the performer, I’ll give you that.” He chuckled and kissed my forehead before pulling me to him, wrapping his arms around me.

“Maybe I could interest you in another sometime.”

“I think I could be convinced.” I could feel him shake with light laughter against me as I closed my eyes, yawning. “But now, I need to catch up on that sleep that you kept me from getting.”

“You don’t regret any of it.” His voice was confident, a statement of fact rather than a question.

“You’re not wrong.” With that, I pecked his chest before dozing off, the sound of his heartbeat steady as a drum next to my ear.

[fourteenacross]

Hey! Do you have any Stranger Things readalikes and/or middle grade & YA horror recs?

I can, in fact, provide that thing!

I could give MG and YA horror recs all day, so I stayed sort of close to the Stranger Things readalikes part of it. 

(All links are to Amazon via the WBS referral code, but buy local if you can, etc.)

Middle GradeThe Riverman by Aaron Starmer - This is a trilogy that takes place in the early 90s. Alistair is approached by a neighbor he hasn’t spoken to since they were younger, who asks him to write her biography. She explains that she is older than he thinks, as she passes time in another reality and has since learned that something from that reality is stealing the souls of children in their world. Creepy coming of age in a similar time period with a similar feel.

Doll Bones by Holly Black - Three friends have been playing the same epic game with their dolls and toys for years. When Zach’s dad tells him he’s too old for dolls and has to start playing boy games, the bone china doll who they cast as the queen of their world is unhappy. Same “kids on a epic quest against evil” vibes.

The Jumbies by Tracey Baptiste - Corinne has never believed in the tales of the jumbies, figuring they were something adults made up to scare kids at night. But after a close encounter in the forbidden part of the forest, a mysterious woman shows up and starts to affect their island. She has to convince her friends to help take down the evil and save their home. Creepy and with that classic “the kids see what the parents don’t” trope.

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children by Ransom Riggs - Jacob grows up hearing fantastic stories of people with strange powers from his grandfather. When his grandfather dies suddenly, he finds himself on a journey to the remote Welsh village where he grew up and stumbles upon a place without time, full of strange and wonderful things, and stalked by an evil only he can see. This one has gr8 pictures, so def do a print or ebook if you can, even though I’m usually a big audio proponent. 

The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart - After answering a strange and vague classified ad looking for gifted children, four kids find themselves in the house of the eccentric Mr. Benedict, who’s training them for a perilous undercover mission to bring down the Learning Institute for the Very Enlightened. Smart kids pitted against a sketchy government institution.

The Witch’s Boy by Kelly Barnhilll - After surviving a rafting accident that kills his more talented twin brother, Ned has been told his whole like that “the wrong boy lived.” Áine, daughter of the Bandit King, was warned by her mother that “the wrong boy” will save her life. When the two meet, they discover it’s up to them to stop a war brewing between two kingdoms and save Ned’s mother’s magic. Read this and then read all the rest of Kelly Barnhill’s books.

Young AdultFiendish by Brenna Yovanoff - Ten years ago, the people of New South Bend decided that the strange things happening in town were the fault of the families living in the Willows and burned their houses down. Clementine was kept alive by magic, walled in the cellar until a boy stumbles upon her and sets her free. Now, with the help of her cousin and her friends, Clementine is determined to figure out what really happened ten years ago and how it’s connected to the magical and terrifying place called The Hollow.

Shadowshaper by Daniel José Older - Sienna planned to spend her whole summer working on a mural in her neighborhood, but after being chased by a mysterious entity at a party, she discovers that she’s a part of something bigger. Her family are shadowshapers, people who can direct spirits into art to make it come alive. But someone wants to see the shadowshapers exterminated, and now Sienna and her friends have to uncover the mystery while fighting for their lives. READ. THIS. SERIES. I LOVE IT. HONESTLY. THE SECOND ONE CAME OUT THIS YEAR.

Wonders of the Invisible World by Christopher Barzak - Aidan’s life is ordinary and unremarkable until his former best friend, Jarrod, moves back to town. That’s when Aiden starts being haunted by visions of the past and visions of the present and things his mind has tried to hide from him. This is a weird, great (queer!) story.

The Walking Dark by Robin Wasserman - On a perfectly mundane day in a small down in Kansas, twelve people are abruptly murdered by friends and family members who then go on to kill themselves. Not long after, a strange tornado cuts the town off from the rest of the world, and as the adults descend into chaos, it’s up to a group of teens–including the sole survivor of the murder/suicides–to figure out exactly what is happening to their town.

Bone Gap by Laura Ruby - Roza was a beautiful outsider who was, against all odds, accepted by a small farming community when she stumbled into town, alone and frightened. The town, then, is devastated when she disappears, none more so than Sean, one of two brothers who had been boarding her. Younger brother Finn claims to have witnessed her abduction, but his lack of helpful evidence has ostracized him even more from the rest of the town, leaving him on his own to put together the clues of what’s happened and why and how to get Roza back. This book is weird and complex and sad and beautiful and magical.

The Forgetting by Sharon Cameron - Every twelve years, the city of Canaan descends into chaos, because every twelve years everyone’s memories are wiped completely clean. You remember nothing–your parents, your children, your spouse–unless it is written down. Except for Nadia. Nadia remembers. So it’s up to her to use her memories to solve the mysteries of the city as the next Forgetting approaches, before everything resets again and it’s too late.

AdultLet the Right One In by John Ajvide Lindqvist - Oskar has spent his life being bullied and mocked by his peers, but a new girl has moved in next door, a girl who seems ignorant of most things in the world, but is brilliant. Around the same time, a string of horrific murders start to rock their small town, and Oskar slowly starts to put the pieces together. This is a terrible description of a great book that has SO MUCH happening in it that it’s hard to describe well. I also recommend the original Swedish movie, which is awesome.

It by Stephen King - Yeah, okay, you probably guessed this one, but there are reasons everyone is making the comparison. Just read the first half, and skip the sex stuff.

The Boy Who Drew Monsters by Keith Donohue - After Jack nearly drowns, he begins to refuse to leave the house, staying inside and drawing terrible monsters. It’s three years later and Jack is ten and strange things are starting to happen, things that are connected to his drawings and what happened to him.

Something Wicked This Way Comes by Ray Bradbury - A strange carnival has come to town and it’s pulling in all of the townsfolk, regardless of age, with the ability to grant their true desires. But it’s not that simple, and there’s something dark at work that takes more than it gives. Two thirteen year old boys, Jim and Will, need to overcome their own fears and desires to defeat the evil within the carnival and save the town and themselves.

Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero - I have to admit, I haven’t read this one yet, though I’ve been on the hold list for an age so hopefully I will soon. But it sounds like it fits–it’s billed as what happens to a group of teens like the Scooby gang twenty years later, when they’re all adults and have mostly left their mystery solving behind. Or mostly left it behind–something about that last mystery is still haunting them and brings them back to their hometown to try and put it to rest once and for all.

ComicsLumberjanes - A great comic about the weird and wacky happenings at a scouting summer camp and the weird and wacky group of girls who run into the trouble head-on.Paper Girls - It’s 1988 and four twelve year old girls are about to stumble on to a mystery that will rock their world.Spill Zone - Three years ago, Poughkeepsie was destroyed by an event that has changed reality within its borders. Addison lost her parents in the event, and now supports her sister by taking illegal late night rides into the closed off area to take photos for collectors. One collector offers her enough money to quit for good, but to fulfill his request, she’ll need to take a risk that may keep her from ever leaving.

[thesinglesjukebox]

RM - SEOUL

[5.62]

BTS member makes his own "One Great City!"...

Taylor Alatorre: You have to admit it's a gutsy move. Just last year BTS released a song as part of a Seoul tourism campaign, along with a commercial that aired in over 100 countries. And then their biggest star goes and releases a song whose most memorable lyric is "I hate you, Seoul." Taylor Swift, this is not. But by choosing instead to indulge his inner James Murphy, RM both stays true to his artistry and promotes the city with far more effectiveness than any consultant-driven campaign ever could. "Seoul" is still an ad of sorts, but it's one steeped in a millennial model of authenticity: we expect to be lied to by authorities, so we seek out different authorities who will not hesitate to tell us precisely why something, even a mostly good thing, sucks. The music is not the kind you hear in tourist commercials, but rather the kind tourists might actually listen to when they want to bask in their dissociative loneliness. In other words, it's your basic post-chillwave pop that Spotify recommends to you at night, but with an added kick to allow for contemplative rapping. For the most part, RM makes observations that anyone who's lived in a big city can relate to, and even without a translation, the soft yet roughhewn tone of his voice makes his conflicted feelings shine through. One lyric stands out in particular: "the Han River that carries too much han." Often translated as the "beauty of sorrow," han is a cultural concept whose centrality to this song could form the basis of an entire essay. Here I will just note that Yanagi Sōetsu, the Japanese collector of Korean folk art who developed the "beauty of sorrow" framework, was one of the earliest recipients of South Korea's prestigious Order of Cultural Merit. Last month, the members of BTS became the youngest recipients of this award in history. The burden of representing an entire country, or its largest city, is a tough one; with "Seoul," RM displays the quiet confidence necessary to carry it. [8]

Juan F. Carruyo: Seems that dedicating songs to cities is hot business right now. Reedy flute patches give way to jazzy Yamaha DX7 chords that remind me of the hypnagogic pop trend of years ago. Yet the main falsetto-ed hook that drives the composition is too saccharine and derivative for it to make a real impact. [3]

Nortey Dowuona: Bubbly, plush synths wash over RM's syrupy croon. He launches into a lilting singsong flow, then hops into a sweetly appreciative cry for his home of Seoul. Then he drops into a soft-spoken flow, which morphs into singsongy again as he launches into the chorus once again, the 808s laughing behind him. [7]

Thomas Inskeep: The track is nice enough, I guess, but I vastly prefer RM (f/k/a Rap Monster) when he sounds aggressive, not all soft and easy like this. [4]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: The agreeable, synth-driven R&B that UK duo Honne makes has found surprising success in Thailand, South Korea, Singapore, and elsewhere. Anyone keeping tabs on Asian pop charts and record stores would, at the very least, have a passing familiarity with their existence, but those sticking with Western news outlets probably haven't heard of them. Given their dearth of popularity in the West, Honne revels in the niche they've found. "We love you Seoul 💜" reads their comment on this single's YouTube video. 4.6K people agree. There's a poignancy in all this brushing up against RM's conflicted relationship with the city. For Honne, Seoul is just another place where outsiders have welcomed them. For RM, it's the very reflection of his success and its limitations, his joy and his pain, his past and his future. It's the entirety of his life--his self--constantly holding a mirror to his face. Given his group's enormous success, these feelings of urban isolation are only exacerbated by the role he inexplicably has in representing Seoul (and by proxy, South Korea at large). What else can he do but use his music to escape? [6]

Maxwell Cavaseno: In a throwaway rejoinder to a musician's anecdote about the many trials and tribulations of networking, another said, "You never connect with whom you try to, you simply connect with those you do." It's a lesson Kim Namjoon would do well to learn. It's easy to pick on RM because he's always been eager to do a little bit more in order to prove himself. "Seoul" bears a lot of that complex in how eagerly the sung and rapped parts strive for depth about the city that's become a central force in his life and career, a place that dictated his past and his future in ways both trivial and inconceivable. The problem is, this personal act of labor comes across as dense and obtuse, a monolith in the sand that clearly has gravitas but is difficult to gain real context from. "Seoul" is just moments of tension away from being clear, but so fixed and pressed upon the listener that it simply cannot feel like a release. [4]

Iain Mew: The song's ambivalence via contradiction comes off as rather pedestrian. It's elevated by two things: RM's heartfelt tenderness, and the way that Honne break up the main mode of blank chill with the occasional wheeze of dinky The Research synths, like so many loved old spots amidst the skyscrapers. [6]

Alex Clifton: I grew up in Buffalo, NY. It's a cold, snowy city that a lot of people say they'll escape from, and then they make their way back and raise a family there. I left nearly ten years ago, and I was glad to leave it back then. But there are certain things I still love and miss, like the way the air smelled in October just before the first snowfall of the year, or the sounds of a Sabres game, or the feeling of being in a crowd at a hometown Goo Goo Dolls show. I can never get back to that place--the Buffalo I left is a different place now--but I was always drawn to the tension, the feeling of hating six months of snow while also secretly relishing it. "Seoul" hits on these feelings (more artfully than I can phrase them) and is exactly the kind of thoughtful work I expect from RM. Moreover, it makes me feel peaceful, like it's okay to have these alternate feelings warring inside. RM's overriding musical message has always been to remind listeners that they're not alone, however they feel, and he's done it again. [7]

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