#guys i'm not tagging this anti-anything because I think it's objective enough

[sixstepsaway]

I want to send a proper response to your reply to my continued writing related lamentations, because it deserves more than a 'thank you', but until I do, have these Izzy related thoughts.

I would never judge someone for their preferences in fictional characters and so on, but sometimes certain takes about characters like Izzy make me genuinely question someone's moral character? Or at least, their ability empathize with other points of view, and not be biased by their own distaste? Like it is genuinely makes me raise an eyebrow when someone describes episode 4, where Ed pays no mind to dead crew members, refuses to tell his first mate his plan, nearly gets everyone kills, and completely collapses as a leader as proof Izzy has no basis for his complaints. That people will call Izzy evil and homophobic for being rude and assigning chores while Black-forced-autocannibalism-beard has a man flayed with a snail fork? Idunno, if you can't view characters with some degree of objectivity, how can I trust you to judge real life situations or people? If I tell a story about how my boss kept me out of the loop and nearly fucked up or project, only to pull a wild scheme out of his last month minute and fix things at the eleventh hour, would they be like, "Well you should have had faith in your boss"? -dd anon

Thank you is always enough, for what it's worth, and you're welcome!

As for the thoughts:

I've said before and I will say again, if someone tells me that their top ship that they are ✨ obsessed with ✨ is an incest ship between a dad and his daughter, I'll go, "Sure, checks out, interesting dynamic, bet there's some fascinating fic and really cool slants to read!" and if that's not my ship it'll be, "Not my thing in this fandom, but you do you and I hope you have fun!" (and if it is it's "fic recs?" lmao)

and if someone says their favorite character is like some objectively terrible, war crimey son of a bitch like... idk actually, I don't watch a lot of things with Evil™ characters I'm very into shades of grey. Voldemort! Let's say Voldemort.

If someone says their favorite character is Voldemort or Tom Riddle, I'll be like, "Sure yeah, checks out, he's a fascinating character, especially in fanfic. I bet there's lots of cool things to think about him, and how he's treated by other characters in the book. Fun! Not my fave, but you do you!"

It does not mean anything about either of those people except that they have eclectic and interesting taste in characters.

but if someone sends me an ask saying, "Wait, you're okay with/ship that pairing in the first example? I hope you get [insert horrible thing happening here] and DIE!" then I am going to judge their moral character (see: anti-Izzy anon who told me they hoped I got shanked

(relatedly, you guys have made it Impossible™ to find those anons in my tagged/anonymous tag with all the wonderful things you've all been sending me over the last month. I appreciate that. Keep going ❤

i did find it though)

which, you know, is why i replied like this:

so yeah)

and I am also going to judge people who try to whitewash away the bad things one character does to make it seem "okay" to like them, and put all those bad things on another character or act like the lesser-bad things that other character does are the worst to make their own fave look better.

Taste in fictional characters, pairings, plots or tropes, will never be an indicator of moral character. Fiction is a safe place to explore all kinds of ideas and concepts, from the highly illegal and/or deeply taboo down to the whimsical and dreamy concepts like coffee shop AUs and such (which, despite being bland and fluffy, wouldn't be great in real life either).

But I think it's because people who will overlook the behavior of their faves and vilify others (instead of doing what we do, which is like, "I love Ed! Ed is my fave! He's also objectively terrible lmao" or "ed deserves some atrocities as a treat" which still acknowledges His Shit™) is just a big red flag for me, because they're likely to do that with people too. A good example being, again, the anon above, who thinks they are In The Right™ for sending me a message telling me they hope I get shanked, while I am worthy of nothing but death for liking Izzy.

That people will call Izzy evil and homophobic for being rude and assigning chores while Black-forced-autocannibalism-beard has a man flayed with a snail fork?

this made me laugh but also, yeah. We always forget the flayed with a snail fork and tossed into salt water thing don't we? We also just say it's fine because the guy was a racist, which is, again, a very black and white mentality, and also why people feel so comfortable saying, "Izzy is racist, so he deserved it!"

Objectively speaking, that guy did not deserve being flayed alive with a snail fork. I do not think anyone deserves that no matter what they did (but I'm also anti-prison, pro-rehabilitation, pro-letting and, in fact, encouraging people to change blah blah blah, so it isn't really a shock I'm not all for punitive justice in any case, since punitive justice doesn't really work). Should Ed have had him killed and dropped for the sharks? Sure, yeah, okay, I guess, especially considering the genre and context, in which there's no legal or social "this guy is a racist, can we do something about this like getting him fired from his navy job?" recourse.

But flayed alive with a snail fork implying it will take literally hours and hours if not longer? And making someone else do it for him? Seems excessive! It seems excessive!

(It also implies that either a) Fang willingly went and flayed a guy alive with a snail fork, which tells us A Lot Of Things about the darker side of Fang, or that b) Fang was coerced into it by Blackbeard telling him to do it, and that is awful)

Idunno, if you can't view characters with some degree of objectivity, how can I trust you to judge real life situations or people? If I tell a story about how my boss kept me out of the loop and nearly fucked up or project, only to pull a wild scheme out of his last month minute and fix things at the eleventh hour, would they be like, "Well you should have had faith in your boss"?

lmaaaaaaaaaao. No they'd say you deserve it because you're an Izzy fan.

But for real, I agree with you. Disliking a character is a-okay, as I've said a thousand times. If someone doesn't like Izzy or even hates him, that is fine. Not everyone likes every character. I'm sure some people watched OFMD and came out of it hating Stede and/or Ed. It happens. Everyone is different.

But being super anti-Izzy and then going on about how awful he is and how sadistic and sinister he is and how everything he does is bad and has bad undertones is just... wild to me, and it makes me think of people who see a celebrity did something marginally bad once and then instantly turn their backs 100% on that person and declare them Evil For All Eternity and start digging up even less bad things they've done in the past like, "This person replied to a 14 year old who had left a nice comment on their public Instagram and put "love you so much!! <3" in public so they're clearly evil."

It gets to the point where once they've decided someone is bad (or cringe, or just something they don't enjoy), they start finding new ways to "prove" their badness and "prove" that other people shouldn't like them.

And I don't trust those people.

No human on this god-forsaken Earth is a 100% fantastic person who has never done anything wrong in their lives, and they know that because they are the same. Everyone has fucked something up, everyone has hurt someone, everyone has done something that was, in their circle at the time, seen as 'fine' that is now seen as 'bad'. The amount of teenagers when I was growing up who would call everything that was boring or gross, "So gay :/" and half of them were bisexual or gay themselves. Everyone does stupid shit.

And the people who look at Izzy and the things he does completely divorce him of context. You can dislike the way he does things, you can think he was an asshole for bringing the English to Stede, but saying that he's awful and abusive for, as you put it so well:

being rude and assigning chores

is just fucked up. He's doing his job, and in context he was expected to do his job.

On top of that, as I've said before in posts I've reblogged about queer politics, I trust people who use the wrong words with the right feelings etc far more than I trust the people who use all the right words but are actually prejudicial.

"Your pronouns are they/them, right? Anyway, yeah, I just think that bisexuals and non-binary people should keep to their own lanes if they're being a bihet or a het in general, you know? It just seems better." no.

bad. go away.

"You're a dyke, right?? I just wanted to let you know that the woman down the street is really homophobic and she's being awful to all f*gs and dykes in the neighborhood. I've called the police about it but I don't think they're going to do anything, so I'm going to rally everyone in the neighborhood to try and get her to leave by herself. I think there's a transsexual down the street too, so we should protect him as well. Oh, sorry! Sorry, my bad, I get confused. Her. We need to protect her as well."

I trust that person 290283x more, despite the 'incorrect words' and the things they're 'not supposed to say'.

And it's the same basic thing. They flag Izzy as Racist and Homophobic and Abusive because they're the Right Buzzwords to make them look good, but at the end of the day they end up being racist (a good example being the person who decided it was great to say Izzy had Ed as a pet) or homophobic (literally half the shit they say about Izzy is homophobic itself) or abusive (*gestures at anons*).

Taste in characters or pairings or shows doesn't make me suspicious of someone's moral character. How they approach characters they don't like ("he deserves being fed his toe!") and do like ("Ed was totally justified in everything he did because Izzy is a dick") and people around them ("I genuinely hope you get shanked") is what is far, far more telling for me.

this got rambly nonnie i apologize

[janiedean]

i don't get why Jon is considered a threat to Dany's throne when they could just get married? obvs they like each other, and they have targ blood to excuse the close relation

... it’s not that he’s considered, it’s that he is just by existing and that is set up to be the main conflict in the ‘good guys’ side - how it’s resolved is another issue, but like... it’s not that they like each other or not, it’s a question of plot elements and setting.

meaning (guys I wanna be objective here, don’t take this as me hating on d/any or anything because I’m not this is just how I feel they shaped up the narrative):

all of dany’s storyline relies heavily on a few key elements both in book and show, as in: a) she’s the last surviving targaryen and no other, b) she feels that the iron throne is her birth legacy as the rebellion wasn’t legitimate/the targs were the legitimate rulers, c) her entire claim on the iron throne relies on recognizing the targs as legit rulers and on the fact that *she* is the last targaryen left;

and as she put it herself in S7, she has bled and suffered for it - now, dany’s character development in S7 (development) was realizing that she actually cared about fighting the white walkers and helping her allies more than her throne for now at least, which is why jon kneeled when she didn’t ask for it (and I’d like to put forward that I actually get that and I don’t think he did something abysmally stupid from his POV) and that was when they tried to sell us the romance angle (which imvho is very badly written and had endless pacing issues but never mind, I’m not going to question jon/erys’s status - it happened, I’m accepting it);

now, as goddamned fucking stupid was the whole ‘JON’S REAL TARG NAME IS AEGON’ writing decision - because that was fucking stupid, even if the show cut off the aegon+joncon storyline aegon still existed within canon, he’s just dead, so rhaegar naming both his male heirs with the same name is dumb as fuck and makes no sense but never mind that -, it should give you red flags that they mean for jon to take on some of the original aegon vi’s storyline in the book because ofc they couldn’t have two possible targaryens alive but nvm;

now: aegon vi book-wise is a legitimate threat to dany’s claim unless he marries her, since he’s rhaegar’s trueborn male heir which immediately makes his claim better than dany’s and when he realized he didn’t want to wait around for her he went to take westeros for himself or tried to - and okay, dany’s about unaware of that rn because she has more pressing concerns, but the existence of a male targaryen heir who is legitimate automatically puts a dent in *her* claim to the throne;

now, do I have to believe that they renamed jon aegon for nothing and gone through the pains of making us know for sure that rhaegar married lyanna and that he’s *trueborn* (ngl I think it’s also book canon except that I don’t think rhaegar disinherited elia’s children, he prob. just married lyanna without divorcing elia) for it to end up in nothing especially when they already set it up in s5 with that speech to theon about being both stark and greyjoy which was obviously foreshadowing for his future conflict about being both stark and targaryen?

I don’t think so.

now, what I want to get at with my theorizing is (VAGUE SPOILERS THAT I KNOW OF ARE MENTIONED BUT IT’S VAGUE AND I DIDN’T VERIFY):

this season they have six episodes - long ones, but still six. given that the last one is gonna be mostly epic battle/finale stuff and from the five spoilers I know there’s another one towards the middle. This means there’s roughly four episodes of Other Stuff Left and honestly, there has to be a conflict somewhere or the narrative doesn’t go on;

last season tied up the house stark stuff in the sense that as badly written as it was, LF is out of the way, sansa/arya/bran are on the same side again (regardless of how shitty bran’s written but nvm) and pretty much signed off cersei’s political suicide because she has tied her survival to euron bringing her the golden company but theon is obviously offing euron to get back his sister and taking that from her and that’s gonna happen early on, so like.... she’s basically dragging dead narrative weight while going around king’s landing and I seriously doubt she’s surviving midseason, and on top of that there’s no conflict to be had in KL with the fact that she’s the only valuable main player still there, everyone else has left;

we of course have the question of WHAT WILL JAIME DO but that spoiler pic pretty much solved it - he’s going around wearing robb’s old armor or an armor that looks like robb’s, everything points to a confrontation with bran + resolution of issues that brings to him pledging with the starks - the starks, not dany;

at that point there’s literally no other major - major - conflict left to explore that doesn’t touch the question of Who Is Getting That Throne And How It Fits With The Current Situation;

now: taking for granted that jon/erys like each other and they’re most likely in honeymoon phase when they get to WF, the point is that a) they don’t know they’re related, b) he thinks she’s a trueborn queen and he’s only there because people elected him and she thinks he’s an illegitimate son with good skills and good morals. now, while she probably wouldn’t give two fucks about bedding a relative if she thought she’d marry viserys growing up and IT’S TARGARYENS, he might find it a tad more objectionable since he was not brought up with the idea that marrying your relatives was acceptable outside of targaryens (guys incest is a taboo in westeros too) and telling him he’s r’s son won’t magically change his attitude in that sense, so that is one conflict in itself...

guys: jon’s mere existence is a threat to dany’s claim. even if he doesn’t do anything about it and he assures her he can’t care less, he’s still her brother’s trueborn legitimate MALE offspring who not only has targ blood on one side, but has *stark* blood on the other side, and given that the north has tried to secede for the entire series and that he has both stark and targ heritage (guys...... again, a song of ice and fire = a song of jon snow), even if he doesn’t care, other people could see him as a better option than daenerys because he’s from westeros, he knows the customs, he has good military experience that doesn’t rely on dragons to win battles and they’d trust him way more than an outsider who has never been to westeros and comes back reclaiming it because it’s her birthright and who doesn’t abide by westerosi customs - and mind that the tarlys being burned alive when they could have gone to the wall was exactly to make that point. like, it’s the same issue catelyn had with him - regardless of whether he would have wanted to usurp his siblings (we know he wouldn’t have, she didn’t), ned having a supposed *male* son who looked like him and was robb’s age while all her male children looked like her and not like ned was in itself a threat to her children and their inheritance, which is 60% of the reasons why cat hated jon (the other 40% being that she thought ned betrayed her not even a year after they married);

like, that’s an issue that would only get solved if they marry and have children and she chooses to trust him to not make a coup, but even with that... a jon/erys marriage as things are now (with jon being kitn and ned’s bastard son as far as people know) would make her the most important part of it and he’d be more of a consort than king, but with jon being rhaegar’s, either he has the title or they share it equally;

now: dany has to have character development. everyone has to or shit doesn’t happen. jon’s main issue is gonna be reconciling stark and targ heritage (and tbqh I don’t see jon embracing the targ part so readily - guys he’s wanted to be a stark all his life and he grew up with them, let’s be real). dany is obviously going to revolve around the following points at least imvho:a) how is she going to react finding out that she’s not the last targaryen left?b) how is she going to react finding out that the other targaryen around has a better claim than her/has her same birthright?c) can she get used to westeros’s culture/customs and learn them if she has to be queen?d) can she bend her own principles and compromise enough to realize that she can’t rule just through dragons because you might *conquer* with them but you can’t *rule* with them as we’ve seen with the tarlys?now, all of that is obv. up in the air and I have no issues whether it goes left or right - honestly it’s so far in my scale of ‘stuff I care for in this show’ that as long as I see jaime in robb’s armor all the time I’ll be fine, but...

tldr: if the answer to those questions is, in order, ‘she’ll take it well, she’ll vouch for sharing power and it won’t impact on their relationship, yes and yes’ then congrats, we have positive character development and most likely canon targ restoration with jon/erys as endgame. if the answer is ‘she’ll take it badly, she’ll see jon as a potential threat regardless and demand that he renounce it or smth, no and no’, then congratulations, we have negative character development and the conflict turns from dany + starks allied against the white walkers and cersei to a dynasty conflict during which people will have to take sides and in that context tyrion would be caught in the middle because he’s dany’s advisor but on the other side there’s people he genuinely likes/he’s friendly with, the whole question of his marriage to sansa and his damned brother, so he’d have to pick sides in that sense; 

now, it could also be that the answer is no but then she changes her mind and we still have positive character development after the negative - possibly, she’s a main so she’ll get screentime same as jon - but like, that is imo the most obvious and glaring plot conflict that has to come out of what they wrote until now regardless of whether it’s good or bad writing. and fine, it’s been bad lately, but nvm that, the outcome has to be one regardless of how they get there.

like: I don’t doubt that there can be a positive resolution, but there has to be conflict or nothing happens this season if the jon parentage reveal ends in ‘ah well we can just get married in episode two’, and given dany’s in-text character faults that she has same as everyone else (more or less, given how the show’s written), this one plot point is going to have weight and it’s going to create conflict for her because it basically dismantles the entirety of her claim on the throne that she’s brought on since the end of S1 and it’s too narratively important to dismiss it on account of ‘they like each other and they can just get married’. they can, but at the end, not at the beginning, and she has to fully confront it and come out stronger for it if you want a positive development and not further stagnation.

thanks for coming to my speculation ted talk *shrug* XD

[radiqueer]

Hey, I have question for you and that is have you ever made a post or know of one where a minor like you outlines the specifics of how we adults are supposed to interact with you (on Tumblr, for example)? I know, you'll probably be thinking: "Just don't be ageist/treat us as equals, duh!" but please hear me out, I'm asking this in good faith. One of my main problems is, for example, that - online culture being dominated by US culture and it's norms - that I will leave myself open to... tbc

Part 2: potentially life-destroying accusations of grooming/pedophilia not from you or other minors who want to interact in good faith, but from adult antis/minor antis who are not acting in good faith but want to get back at me, as soon as I say something they don’t like. I absolutely agree with you that such bad faith behaviour is NOT exclusive to minors but in the current climate - especially here - interacting with minors in fandom leaves one especially vulnerable. I would like to know tbc..

Part 3 (and I forgot sending the last one anonymously, please don’t publish my username) …whether you could accept/understand that some of us feel this need to protect ourselves. I want these conditions to change as much as you do, because I remember what it was like being in your position and I truly hated it, so I want very much to act differently towards minors now that I am an adult. But I really don’t know if I can for the above reason, which is not your fault of course but still… tbc

I have never made an entire post about it, no. I have, however, set clear guidelines in my faq and in interactions with adults on this website. 

honestly? I don’t know. this isn’t how I set boundaries; most of my experience setting boundaries with adults is over discord DMs and moderated servers and I’m exceptionally good at self-moderation, thanks to the adult friends who taught me exactly how to regulate my interactions and modeled various forms of relationship boundaries for me

please note that I use “relationship” as a neutral word - it doesn’t signify anything romantic unless it explicitly talks about a romantic relationship. 

the clearest and most objective set of guidelines I can give you is:

don’t violate DNIs. ever. this is a big one. if you violate a DNI in any way, and it’s always best to interpret DNIs generously, back off at once. block them, just to be safe. do not engage even if they engaged first. if they keep harassing you, block and report. it is not worth your skin, and manipulative antis can and will use your hesitance to block them out of hand as an indication that you are a predator. give them nothing to go on. 

you do not have to read the blog links of every blogger you come across, but if they’re in their bio then it’s best to skim through them at least once. 

for me, personally, I practice intelligent boundary setting, which is a really fancy way of saying “it depends.” if a friend I know and regularly speak to tells me that my fear fetish is showing on one of my posts, that’s different from like, you saying the same thing. which seems obvious, but you’ll be surprised at how many people think boundaries can be objective and set in stone. 

take, for a lighter (hah) example, my eating disorder. [tw eating disorder and weight talk ahead] I have an ED, I don’t really try to hide it. one of my friends is more invested than the rest in making sure I eat more-or-less enough as regularly as possible. she does it because she struggled with food herself and because she knows I’m underweight, and she wants me to be okay. the problem is that there’s only so much advice I can take before I shut down entirely. so we have to navigate that in an intelligent manner - she checks in with me regularly, and in turn I tell her when she’s going too far or stepping too close to a line of conversation which ends in a shutdown. I also make sure to let her know when I need help, and to thank her for her help no matter how many times I get it, and in general I make an effort to be an equal participant in our conversations even when she’s helping me. but there’s other people in my life who I don’t allow to talk to me about food (they violate that boundary constantly, reinforcing my need for it) and that’s bad. so like, I can’t go “adults talking to me about food is Okay” or “adults talking to me about food is Not Okay” because that boundary can and has to be set and reset as the conditions around it change. [end ed tw]

or like, sex. sure, as a minor I can (hypothetically) go “don’t talk to me about sex” but……what is sex? is heavy petting not sex? can my adult friend - lets call them Brianna, she doesn’t exist I made her up for this example - can Brianna not talk to me about the cute guy she flirted with at her college mixer? is it different if Brianna and the cute guy most definitely did not make plans to fuck after the mixer? what is the difference? can Brianna recommend me a song which contains explicit lyrics? what about explicit themes? can Brianna and I talk about #metoo? can we talk about how she’s afraid to walk back her to her dorm room at night because the security guard on her street creeps her out? can Brianna read my explicit fic? can I read Brianna’s? can she recommend it to her friends who don’t know me? 

this is an annoying amount of questions, isn’t it? now you get it. there’s a few more paragraphs where that came from. 

the best way to tackle this is to answer each question as it comes. there’s no need to spend a month hammering out each detail. flag certain subjects - I ask my friends to warn me before showing me explicit images (of the sexual and violent variety) because that boundary is fluid. some of my friends can complain to me that they’ve been horny and some of them refuse to discuss sexuality with me outside of academic contexts because they’re wary of influencing me. and you know what? both of those are fine. both of those are good and normal and they can co-exist. you will never have the same set of boundaries for everybody in your life. that’s just impossible. 

so focus on what you can do. learn to regulate your own boundaries, and know that the first step to teaching others how to set boundaries is to model your own. ask, “is talking about this okay?” when something sensitive comes up. learn to go “let me know if i ever say anything that makes you uncomfortable” - understand that in your bones, if you can. people telling you something makes them uncomfortable when it’d be easier to be silent is how you know you’ve built trust. it’s a compliment. when they let you know, back off and also go “I’m sorry”. maybe let them pick the next topic of conversation, or move onto something else. 

on tumblr, like I said, don’t violate DNIs. read every link available to you if you plan of following that user. don’t reblog posts tagged #dont reblog. some people (like me) prefer to interact largely over anon, and some people have different needs. it isn’t your job to parse that. communication is a two-way street. try not to say creepy things (”is it something I would say to someone on the street? did they ask their followers to send them things like this?” no and no? don’t say it)

if you’re an adult with “minors dni” in your bio and you’re going to interact with minors off anon, that’s generally a rather bad move. some may take offense - some may not, but it’s a toss-up you don’t want.

let me know if this helps! 

[cameoamalthea]

I'm surprised you aren't more supportive of Roy Moore, seeing as you're pretty much a pedophilia apologist

I’m a survivor of CSA. I couldn’t consummate my marriage on my wedding night because I needed to have surgery first to repair some internal damage. I spent a year, beginning in summer 2016, in physical therapy, pelvic floor therapy, because even after the surgery the physical scar tissue and phycological scars (subconscious discomfort means I could never relax those muscles, not even to wear a tampon or have exams that I needed to have because I have PCOS). I blogged about it. It’s under my recovery tag. I’m in therapy, and DBT. 

And I’m learning to manage my triggers, but being called a “pedophile apologist” or insinuating I support child abuse is still a trigger and I really really really wish people like you would not insinuate that I wanted what happened to me.

How dare you. 

And you’re mocking my posts about the need to stop sexual exploitation of teenagers and the culture that enables it, because I’m pro-books, anti-censorship and tired of people tearing down works by queer creators?

“Call Me By Your Name” is an award winning novel, which won the  20th Lambda Literary Awards for gay fiction. 

Reviewing Call Me By Your Name for The New York Times, Stacey D'Erasmo called the novel “an exceptionally beautiful book”.[1]Writing in The New Yorker, Cynthia Zarin said, “Aciman’s first novel shows him to be an acute grammarian of desire”.[2] In The Washington Post, Charles Kaiser said, “If you have ever been the willing victim of obsessive love—a force greater than yourself that pulls you inextricably toward the object of your desire—you will recognize every nuance of André Aciman’s superb new novel, ‘Call Me by Your Name.’

The novel is by a Jewish POC author (he was born in Egypt, fled to Italy, and is now an American and a Proust scholar - so it’s fair to say he knows queer lit).  

The book has been adapted into a Film by Italian director Luca Guadagnino and written by James Ivory who are both gay men.

So this is a film written and directed by gay men, telling a gay love story about a Jewish gay boy, based on a book by a Jewish POC author.

 Call Me by Your Name was selected by the National Board of Review and American Film Institute as one of the top 10 films of the year.[122][123] It received eight nominations at Critics’ Choice Awards, including Best Director, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Adapted Screenplay, and Best Cinematography.[124] It led the Independent Spirit Awards with most nomination, garnering six, among them Best Feature, Best Director, Best Male Lead, Best Supporting Male, Best Cinematography, and Best Editing.[125] At the 75th Golden Globe Awards, it was nominated for Best Motion Picture – Drama, Best Actor – Motion Picture Drama for Chalamet, and Best Supporting Actor for Hammer.[126]Call Me by Your Name won the Grand Prize at the Chéries-Chéris Festival.[127]Lisbon & Estoril Film Festival awarded the film NOS Audience Award,[128] and Chalamet received Best Actor award at New York Film Critics Circle.[129]Gotham Independent Film Awardsand Hollywood Film Awards both awarded Chalamet, with their Breakout Actor Awards.

The story is about a 17 year old who falls in love with a 24 year old student over a summer. It is not, as mischaracterized by @socialisttexan, a story that ‘normalizes grown men preying on teenagers’

A 17 year old character becomes friends with a 24 year old student and has a crush on him. The 17 year old brags about having sex with his girlfriend to see how the 24 year old will react. He sneaks into the student’s room while he’s not there and does creepy sexual things in Oliver’s bed while touching Oliver’s clothes without his knowledge or consent (you can read the summary yourself, it’s on wikipedia). He tells the 24 year old he has feelings for him, and the 24 year old tells him no. The 17 year old later kisses the 24 year old without his consent, the 24 year old stops him and says they can’t do more. They stop being friends, but after a few days of distance, the 24 year old admits that he likes his friend too and they sleep together. 

This is not an older man who sought out a younger man in order to use his youth or inexperience to coerce him into sex. This is a man who became friends with a younger guy while staying at the guy’s parents house, working for his dad, and was pursued by the younger guy. 

Rape is sex when there’s not consent. Preying on someone is manipulating or coercing someone to do something they do not want to do. 

This novel features sex between a 17 year old and a 24 year old  that is consensual, and the only one who did anything wrong was the 17 year old (who acted creepy, and didn’t take no for an answer).

In comparison, Roy Moore is a real a person who hurt real teenagers. He sexually harassed them. He was in his 30s at the time, not a peer or a friend. He met one victim after her mother asked him to watch her while she went into Court to testify, thinking she could trust her daughter with the assistant DA (the lawyer in charge of prosecuting criminals). Roy Moore explicitly used his position of power to force himself on his victims.

“You’re just a child, I’m the district attorney; if you tell anyone about this no one will ever believe you.”

[23]

[24]

Roy Moore is a sexual predator and a rapist. 

If you don’t see any difference between defending a novel and film depicting a consensual relationship with a age gap and a rapist forcing himself on teenage girls, then you don’t understand why rape wrong.

As a rape survivor, lawyer and advocate, let me give you a hint: IT’S BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT THEM TO TOUCH YOU. 

Because you’re too young to ever understand what they’re doing. Because you don’t want to be touched like that and they’re hurting you. And you want it to stop, but you can’t stop it. And you blame yourself for not stopping it and still wonder ‘maybe I did something wrong?’

And look at old pictures of you as a child, posing for pictures, and wondering if maybe you acted too sexy, maybe you did something wrong. Because maybe that’s less scary than the truth that there was nothing you could have done to prevent it. Because the worst feeling in the world is to be helpless.

And then you deal with people telling you that you support child molestation and rape and that voice that says ‘your fault’ is there again. 

 I like books about people falling in love and wanting sex, because I could never have that when I was 17 - I’m too damaged, but I like seeing sex presented as something that can be good, and consensual and not about hurting you. 

And I like books in general. I have an English degree with a specialty in Fiction Writing. And I’m anti-censorship in general, I was vice-President of my law school’s ACLU chapter. And I don’t believe that books can only exist as moral guidelines and examples of healthy good behavior. Fiction isn’t instructional, you want the non-fiction section for that. Fiction tells stories. 

And you don’t have to like every book or read every book or see every movie, but maybe stop attacking gay works and holding them to this standard of only 100% morally right, especially since so much of the gay rights movement has been a fight for the right for gay media to be just as sexual and amoral as straight media.  

Because it’s hard enough for gay works to get published and get adapted into movies. Publishers don’t like gambling, and it’s already seen as a gamble because it’s ‘gay’ - if making it gay means a higher chance of backlash, then that’s not incentive to publish gay works. 

[janiedean]

I feel bad for all the nice J*nsa shippers who like their ship for whatever reasons (tropes, pretty art, aesthetic appeal, whatever) and know it's not canon but get associated with the misogynistic Dany hating crowd who act like Jon being attracted to Ygritte is J*nsa foreshadowing because red hair (I guess Jon should fuck Edmure Tully too? Omg give me Dark!Jon getting revenge on Catelyn by seducing her brother!) Tell me something. I'm new to the fandom but was J*nsa popular before the show? And I've heard something about the OG J*nsa shippers being alienated by the new shippers who insisted it had to be canon and acted like the series is called, "A song of J*nsa #danysux." I don't find that hard to believe because I know people who are now ashamed of calling themselves J*nsa shippers. Like, at this point, it's not only rival shippers who hate it. Even Gendrya/Braime/Jon stans/etc have started disliking that ship. You know your fandom is a problem when people who have nothing to do with Jnsa have a problem with it.

me: reads this ask

me: iwastheregandalf.gif which I can't find now but

okay anon buckle up because I am sadly well-equipped to answer this ask but before I do lemme tell you dark jon seducing edmure to take revenge on cat is LITERALLY THE BEST THING I'VE EVER HEARD but *clears throat* ALL RIGHT THEN.

disclaimer: as anon says I have no issue with like the shippers mentioned by anon in the beginning and ngl I agree, I have ABSOLUTELY ZERO FUCKING STAKES in the j*nsa vs j*nerys war and the only het jon ship I gaf about is jon/ygritte and we all know where that ended up I just... have been here since 2011/adwd was over and all the fic around was just for the books under secret lj communities and asoiaf qualified for yuletide and I have... seen... things.... and I actually have like uh had... beef... with some people in there and I know things bc ppl who hated those others told me stuff so anyway *sigh* buckle up anon I'mma tell you the story of jon shipwars through the years

in order, the old gods help me here, under the cut bc this is long as fuck

when I got into fandom also given what numbers were on ao3 one ship was popular and it was sansan. no like sansan was lit. the only asoiaf ship on ao3 with more than 200 fics. jb had twenty when i checked first. jc had like around 100-ish because of the show but sansan dwarfed anything. I posted the first jon/ygritte fic on the ao3 tag and the fourth throbb fic and like the others were all reposts from lj kinkmemes. nothing was popular before the show except for sansan when it comes to huge numbers bc grrm doesn't like fic and it was all hush hush until the show made it impossible to control and that ship was the one with a huge enough fanbase it actually had numbers, so like... j*nsa wasn't popular in the way nothing else was popular until it got screentime on the show

now, that stated, j*nsa had a... fair amount of fic for a rareship which was mostly book-based and from og shippers that were there from before the show and liked it for what it was but literally none of them thought it was gonna be canon, like it wasn't huge or anything but it had a small but dedicated fanbase who did their own thing and thought it was fun/liked the idea but that was it

that fandom had their own niche of hcs that they cultivated and shit except that like... at the end of S5/beginning of S6 there was a surge in shipping for... well obvious reasons bc it was obv sansa was getting to the wall and that would have been all nice and good but a) it was the time puritanical shipping was starting to take root and the 'shipping sansa with sandor or tyrion is hella problematic' rhetoric had started to circle coming from sans*ery shippers mostly but I'mma not open that fucking can of worms here, b) while the ending of S5 had more of a theon/sansa spike, the j*nsa stuff started getting big

now here we have to mention my villain origin story ie: j*nsa fandom had this one stan whose name I won't make because honestly it's been years and if she's still around I don't want her to remember I exist who was a bnf, wrote for... the website that created the whole larry/carol thing etc who was really fixed on this thing that j*nsa was actually canon and started writing extremely popular meta about it. now you're gonna ask how do you know, I know because this person once wrote a meta named 'why robb stark is a dick' and I told her that it was really fucking bad meta and she took it so badly she kept on trash talking me on her blog/her podcast (I was apparently the insane robb stark fangirl l m a o good lord) and like that was when some sane ppl who argued with her informed me in pvt that she was basically harping on the CANON thing when they'd have been okay with like... it being crackshipping and that she was basically cultivating a hoarde of followers who were harping on them/the ogs and basically ostracizing them;

I would like to add that this person - before her tumblr got 'accidentally deleted' and remade it therefore deleted most receipts for, er, her so-called meta which included stuff like ned and cat raised sansa as a sexual object and only wanted to sell her like cattle - had at some point started a round robin fic thing where... some of the characters mocked openly said stuff that some of the og fans had said specifically targeting them and people in that side basically went harassing anyone who didn't agree with that specific notion

now never mind that this person basically coined an entire term to describe ppl who liked white guys and excused all their wrongdoings out of my conversation re robb basically lying about everything I said as if I didn't have the receipts and tried to sell shirts with it and it didn't work and like then she got kicked out of her own website because she was telling her commenters disagreeing pretty shitty insults (considering I was called psychotic for disagreeing with her that time I don't doubt it) I think at some point she stepped back from fandom bc idk wtf she's up to these days and I don't want to, but basically at that point the dam was broken and there was a bunch of puritanical shippers harping on anyone who didn't agree with j*nsa is canon endgame stuff

this also includes an incident when those ppl were like... passing themselves as throbb shippers and ended up trying to tell t*hramsay shippers off the theon tag based on moral reasons and I ended up arguing with all of them (and they were all from that crowd) which in turn landed me in contact with other og j*nsa shippers who were like detached from that fandom bc those same people harassed them away as well ssooooo fun

anyway when S6 happened everyone was high on it and whatnot but I wasn't gonna begrudge them that I mean... you shipped it for years, canon is delivering you, good for you, but then j*nerys happened

god j*nerys happened

aaand basically...... I mean personally I was there like are y'all seriously arguing about the best incest jon ship out there but like basically the j*nsa endgame side was like AH JON IS PLAYING DANY SEE IF IT DOESN'T HAPPEN, the j*nerys obv got defensive af and both sides were sort of alternatively shitting on jon/ygritte anyway and depicting any other romantic rship jon could have as abusive™ and during S8 it just got worse and like I tried to stay out of it but basically from what I'm seeing now idk how the j*neryses are doing but on the j*nsa one it's ah jon's gonna play dany anyway and she's going to go insane like in the show so SHOW TRUTHING EVERY OTHER WAY and like again denying that sandor exists or that tyrion exists and like I barely touch my corner (sansan) but I ended up arguing with j*nsa/th*nsa people on twitter who were antis and is2g it was white-hair inducing and I know for sure the sansa/tyrion shippers were harassed to hell and back throughout so FUN

and even if the show didn't go there now since everyone there banked on the jnsa endgame thing and admitting you're wrong is like... not a thing, they still haven't let go of it and attach to that ship any shred of evidence which honestly is grasping at straws half of the time (like... the sansa/alysanne parallels like guys please no) and which is why every other ship is starting to get fed up, attaching canon proof of stuff from other ships onto theirs see that batb argument and jb is platonic but jonsa is not nvm taking all the sansan stuff and throwing it on j*nsa but then denying that sansan has canon evidence (like guys I had to read sansa touching his shoulder when saying gregor wasn't a true knight wasn't meaningful and we were seeing things please) and blah blah blah

this also goes hand in hand with the fixation on like... villanizing dany at all costs and like is2g I have zero investment in dany or her storyline I don't even remember it and I don't particularly care abt her either way and sure af I'm not for j*nerys endgame but like.... some stuff I read is completely excessive esp when fixing on how she's a completely mad tyrant who's gonna have to be put down and like... guys no

(also there's some srs stannis hate in that corner which I honestly don't get why they even care abt stannis but I had to read stuff like ppl don't recognize that dany and stannis are the real villains in this saga and like........ idek)

I think most of the og shippers are gone or don't ship it openly bc they don't want to be attached to the drama but like I also think they're pissing off everyone else bc like... I mean a bunch of them also were down with sansa being paired with other ppl as long as it meant a good ending for her except those ppl were... like everyone but the ppl she has actual contact with in canon which meant that at some point sansa/gendry was a thing and like.... you can imagine why arya/gendry shippers & arya stans were fed up, and there's also this tendency to behave like sansa is the center of the entire saga which like these books is named a song of jon snow basically can we pls make peace with it and personally I've had it with both j*nsa and j*nerys people since they started with that dumbass JON/YGRITTE WAS AN ABUSIVE RELATIONSHIP rhetoric but I'm also fed up with the total ignoring that sandor exists/depicting us as delusional and honestly I also was by proxy fed up from the harassing of the sansa/tyrion shippers soooooooooooo

there were also instances of 'well theon is an acceptable choice other than jon bc he can't threaten her' which... i mean we all know what that meant and I'm not even commenting it bc it's one AM and I have no force to but I don't have to explain why it's not a progressive take now do I

there were also metas about how cousin incest being legal in half of the world means that jondany is a worse incest and j*nsa doesn't count as such and I was basically there like guys please just fucking own up to it but honestly I chose to forgot where I read that and I couldn't find the link if I tried

tldr: no one wants to admit that it's not gonna be endgame which considering the amount of fic they have on ao3 is imvho useless bc they have more content than like.. anything I ship that's not jb or that's actually like canon *cries in joncon/rhaegar but I mean renly/loras is canon and has less fic than them* so idk what's the problem with enjoying that instead of insisting it's gonna be canon when not even the show validated it while show truthing anyway when the only show truthing that can be truthed is the small council made of minorities and possibly jon eventually fucking off with the wildlings but not like that but like most people who thought it wasn't gonna be endgame had left/were made to leave by the time S7 rolled by and at this point since wow isn't out yet everyone is fandom-grasping at straws to find stuff to discourse on and we're here beating dead horses *shrug*

so that's... how it is but I would again like to point out that I don't judge ppl on their shipping, I don't particularly care about this entire feud bc I only ship jon with ppl he's not related to in whichever way and I try to stay out of this mess bc I don't really care to argue with ppl who have already decided to bend canon to whatever they want and will have to realize that it's not what grrm wrote at some point but like I have a very good memory and the above rant is as objective as possible also bc again I don't literally have a stake in that race I just think romantic/endgame j*nsa is not a thing and that ppl should stay in their lane and not harping on other ppl who ship whatever in general but especially when their ship is the most popular thing in fandom in the first place /two cents