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#had to keep excusing myself
error707-thatdude · 1 year
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I've been waiting for the excuse to draw F!Leo and my friend @ideas-of-immortality gave me the perfect one! Sooo here have an old man<3
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This is @mutantninjamidlifecrisis flavor of peepaw! I couldn't stop thinking about his arena outfit
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Me? actually trying to do tarot cards?? sounds fake
#composition is something i definitely still have to practice a lot so tbh its good that im finally making myself do this xD#the neira one is the only one so far where ive tired blocking colours so far cos its the only one where i had a p solid palette in mind#def have to either deepen the shadows in the face or remove the tears/blood/death smoothie bc rn it looks kind of weird fjsdfl#oc: neira surana#oc: liam hawke#oc: june trevelyan#my ocs#my art#wip#tarot cards#so uhh. theres nothing super deep tbh but some thoughts behind some of the stuff#first thought was having a similar setup/comp for all of them but i am probably not gonna do that#sticking to suit of cups for neira cos its the perfect excuse to keep put the joining chalice there lol#also the circle cos. she is a circle mage. very far fetched i know#it does also fit w being trapped and going in circles and w life/death cycle so. there's that#liam gets angsty three of swords imagery because of course he does#i kinda wanna mirror varrics post hlta card and also that one abstrac-y thing i did of liam some time ago#also chains maybe? for kirkwall and for not letting go and all that#for june i do like the close up in theory bc i like having it very focused on /her/#bc her development in dai is much more personal rather than strongly tied to the central narrative#& also focusing on her magic cos thats an important part of her & her development (& it fits her v egocentric mindset thru most of dai)#but it also looks too. idk. powerful? like she's in control. which she absolutely isnt lmao#so the other one is kinda the exact opposite direction. more zoomed out & dynamic but i want it to feel more claustrophobic too#sort of. trapped animal kinda deal. trying to get out. keeping the fire theme tho#(ignore that her glowy hand is on the wrong side i accidentally drew it flipped lol)#i am. not good at detailed and or nuanced composition so everything turns out p bold and on the nose ^^''#it's a start tho!#(i do have more thoughts than what i wrote lol but i am running out of tags and also im tired)#feedback/tips are def appreciated btw! :>
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starrystevie · 10 months
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Happy (early) birthday Bee!! Let’s roll for steddie… shop au… 80’s? Full reign on everything else you wanna go for 💕
thank you thank you!! so this may be a stretch for a shop au but i thought it was kind of fitting for a little bit of pre-s4 steddie. hope you like it! <3
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ship: steddie | trope: shop au | era: 1980s | length: 300-500
eddie can think of at least a million other places he'd rather be than at work. work meant screaming kids and bitchy moms and douchebag lifeguards that took advantage of the one-free-snack-a-day rule. his uniform is polyester, scratchy and hot in the indiana summer heat and the breeze from the fan in the corner of the concession stand doesn't help much. "munson!" and then there's also the added problem of having to work with his lifetime crush, steve harrington. eddie rolls his eyes and lets his hands fall onto his hips as steve rounds the corner. he's dripping wet and it's not in that wet dog kind of way, more in the way that he looks like he belongs on those smutty books the mom book club brings to the pool. he flicks his hair out of his face, smile creasing up his cheeks, and eddie forces himself to look away so he won't blush too hard. "you better put on some sunscreen, dude," steve says as he skids to a stop in front of the stand. his arms cross over his chest and eddie lets himself have one peak at the motion before looking away once more. "you look a little sun burnt on your face…" as steve leans over the counter to peer closer, eddie runs a hand over his face and does a dramatic spin to grab the hot dog tongs off the back counter. when he spins back around, he sees steve with his eyebrows furrowed, drops of overly chlorinated water dripping off of his sun-kissed skin and glistening in the golden sunshine and he watches as one drop traces through his chest hair and lower and- "you dehydrated or something?" steve's voice sounds gentle, like he genuinely wants to know if eddie is getting enough water and if he's being honest, no he isn't. he could melt at the sound of steve's voice, at the way his eyes flick over eddie like he's looking for something wrong, at the way he always stops by right when he knows eddie's going on break so they can take a smoke break together behind the tool shed. "i'm fine," eddie barks out, startling steve and tina who's working the soft serve machine. "you ready?" steve grins and takes the hot dog eddie offers to him with practiced ease, sliding by the condiment stand to get a packet of ketchup that they both know eddie will give him grief over. the walk to the shed is quiet as usual. it's not until they've both lit up and started in on their hot dogs that steve breaks the silence. "what are you gonna do once summer's over?" he asks, voice muffled with a massive bite of hot dog. eddie shrugs and is about to give steve shit for talking with his mouth full but then looks up and sees it. there's a drop of ketchup on steve's cheek and he doesn't think, doesn't process what he's doing, before his hand shoots up and wipes it away with a gentle finger. "oh." steve sounds as surprised as eddie feels. they both look between each other's face and eddie's finger which is still halfway in the air covered in ketchup. it's steve's turn to blush, pink flushing up from his chest to the tips of his ears and eddie smirks at him in return. "better be careful, steve," he taunts, and in a daring move he won't be able to do again, rubs the ketchup onto the bottom of steve's trunks. "looks like you're getting a little sunburnt if that blush is anything to go off of." steve scowls and puffs a little too harshly at his cigarette as eddie cackles. maybe eddie doesn't hate working there as much as he thought he did, not if it means seeing steve harrington blush.
roll for prompts: accepting!
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pcktknife · 9 months
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anxiety is so mean there was a short portion of time (like 3 days max maybe) at my job where my mouth would get really dry (and in turn so would my throat) bc I was nervous and so I would end up just trying to keep down an uncontrollable cough to the point I would start crying and my eyes would sting so I couldn't see and it always only ever happened when every customer in the state was up at the front so now I look like I'm Sick and I'm Not around all these ppl and it would be so so embarrassing I'd just end up getting even more nervous 😭
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8rujaa · 15 days
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my therapist really saved me….
#tw abuse // tw sa#i can’t sleep bc i keep thinking about this.#like i probably would’ve not been here if it weren’t for her#i started seeing her january of 2023… my life has changed entirely since then and she was definitely the one who got the ball rolling#literally so much has changed since then and it’s all because of her#i was so dissociated during our first few sessions#thanks to her i was able to get diagnosed and medicated for adhd. i was able to realize i was in an abusive situation and plan a way out#i was able to focus on myself and my healing and she’s helped me reframe so much of my negative thinking#i was able to process a lot of emotions and become a better version of myself with each session#she’s truly incredible.#i remember the first comment she made about the relationship had been ‘’so it’s like there’s an imbalance of control in the relationship’’#i had put my partners on such a high pedestal that i had no idea they could be doing anything wrong#and i asked her what she meant and she said ‘from what you’ve been describing it’s sounds like a strict parents and child type of dynamic’#she told me they didn’t need to understand why i wanted to leave and they didn’t need to make that decision. if that’s what was going to be#best for me the only thing i could do is let them know my reasoning and simply leave. i didn’t need their permission.’’#i remember being so confused at that realization bc like… i had been putting their emotions over mine the whole time i had forgotten simply#doing what’s best for me was an option… l#ever since then i’ve been putting myself first and it’s been a steady uphill from rock bottom… i’ve made an incredible amount of progress#when i first started with her getting out of bed and walking to the kitchen was incredibly difficult and took all my strength.#yesterday i conquered a mountain!!!!!!! i hiked all the way to the top!!!!! :D#me a year ago thought it was going to take me years and years to recover. as soon as i left i made leaps of progress#im incredibly proud of myself and grateful for her. and my reiki lady she’s also been a great great help.#the silver lining is i realized who really matters. and the relationships i cared about deepened.#my sweet virgo friend was the one who was always like ‘THATS A GROWN ASS MAN WHO CANT UNDERSTAND BASIC CONSENT???’#LMFAO i would be like ‘but he has trauma and bla bla bla’ she looked me dead in the eyes and said#’jess you said with your last boyfriend that you would never make excuses for a man who was hurting you again. stop defending him.’#she’s really a gem and i treasure her with my life. i hope she knows i love her. she’s family at this point#she’s also literally saved my life before (like deadass called 911 for help)#im glad i had the support system i had. that was a rough situation with so many layers and im glad i got through it#my 22nd year of life was by far the worst of my life and i don’t ever want to put myself in that situation again. im glad i learned.
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alangdorf · 1 year
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Yessssss the legs are done so I can finish stuff that‘s not just boss fight second phase and the immediate aftermath now!! So here’s the normal Magolor ref. The prosthetic design was a commission from lovely friend Cozzymandias (@cozzymandiesque on twt I believe) who designs and draws a lot of mechs, check him out!
#art#digital#kirby#kirby gijinka#magolor#for further context see my previous post#also sorry I had to explode him a little bit I didn't feel like adding another column just for the legs without plating#and I didn't feel like drawing the legs from the back either so I comporomised#the traitor magolor/EX piece is almost done just gotta color the legs and tweak some things#I tried to design the legs myself at first but they were not very good and then I remembered I have a friend who does mech commissions#and I've been on the lookout for a solid excuse to commission a friend for a while anyways#very happy with the results#I love how the hips are so cool but literally nobody is ever going to see them#this is like wearing heart-print boxers. To him#oh and the plating is also held on with magn- I mean magic so that during the Epilogue some pieces can either be lost#or he just doesn't have enough magic to spare to keep all of them on#I like how the legs look at a glance like they could be fully mechanical but they barely are at all. It's all about facades with Maggie#although in Deluxe it's not really much of a secret that he's a wizard#that's also why they're made to look like cat legs#because I decided the Ancients are actual catboys LOL#I don't know why he lost his legs btw I just though prosthetics would be nice for all the logistical and character and aesthetic reasons#he can still fly/levitate without them btw it's just less taxing this way and he doesn't have to have his wings out. Win-win!#will add the alt text in a minute the mobile app was just being weird about not saving or posting my draft and I dunno how to add it desktop#alt text in reblogs now cause it was continuing to be weird
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friendlifyre · 1 month
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iiii kinda wanna change my name
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Oh my god. You know it’s getting bad when you start doing things you don’t even want to do to procrastinate on something you really do want to do.
It would be one thing if it were something like a hobby; but the thing I want to do is also extremely necessary to my life.
#Hhhhhhngh#for three weeks I’ve been doing this#I’ve had all the time in the world#and I have a sneaking suspicion that I’m doing this out of a subconscious desire to prove to myself that I’m actually fucked up in the head#Which is already proof enough that I have that desire in the first place; but I keep going because it’s not enough#I only ever feel like I need care when I’m at my absolute worst#And suddenly after being so exhausted that I fell asleep at 7:00 some days; I’m staying up until 2:30 AM and waking up at 8:00???#and I feel fine and perfectly awake; but still can’t manage to get myself out of bed until 10:00 because Comfy#I sit and I read for an hour; then I go on my phone and emerge at 5:00 PM#If I go in the bathroom it takes forever to get back out because I end up talking to myself in the mirror about god knows what#I feel like I need some kind of… idk… very strong stimulant in me so I can actually care about things#not that stimulants work like that; but I need to have some kind of catastrophic life event… to get beaten up or something#something to put pure fear and concern in my veins#It is summer and there is almost no chance of me getting kicked or catching a football in the wrong place#and I don’t have to run right now either#I could do something#I know how#But even that is a damned if you do damned if you don’t situation; because that ALSO makes me not want to do things#At least then I’d have a palpable (literally) excuse but uh…. I’m still kind of getting over the last time#I am on my phone all day and I recognize that’s bad; but the thing I need to do is to send an email… which is on my phone; so there’s that#hypocritical#idk there’s something about using limited supplies to deal with a problem that needs more and hoping for the best#it excites me#Makes me feel like a big boy who can handle serious situations#But if I create the problem then it means nothing except that I cannot handle problems at all#I should not have all the responsibilities I do because I am not entirely in my right mind#I am thinking about it though#It’s tempting#get behind me satan
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chiropteracupola · 2 years
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king of wands / six of wands
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keeps-ache · 16 hours
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DARN, missed it again! 2nd anniversary of being a they/themer :D
#just me hi#i should cue a post for next year cuz i just Keep missing it hfhsv#cool though!! two years of queer yeah babyyy#i now have it/its but they/them was where i started hehe :>#i've considered neos but you know i think they'd be a bit much for me lol#character customization Truly#//i am NOT missing this blog's birthday. proooollyyyy hghfsh#these aren't such huge things but i like to know things have happened hfsh :3#these are two things i really only celebrate on here so i've just Gotta say it :33#//anyway i've been listening to the radio a lot (did i say that? i think i told you that some weeks ago lmao) and it's Funnn (mostlyyy) :D#yes they play the same 15 songs over and over and i'm starting to learn all the words to even the most unremarkable ones but that's part of#the Fun :DD#been listening to it because once in a while they play a song i already have in my playlist (yayy !!) or a song that i like (which then goe#in the Playlist (yayy !!)) that and it supplies a background track to whatever i'm talking about with my siblings which is funny at times#/imagine. you've slipped up. a secret of another's you were never supposed to know was mentioned by accident. so instead of#trying to excuse yourself from guilt you admit to knowing even More. the person you're speaking to is betrayed confused and overall upset.#and you're trying to get in contact with a ghost to give you pointers. it's not great. in the background Lovin On Me is playing#that's how our games have been going hfhsvhf#/i let them play in the plots of my stories sometimes and it's So Ridiculous Dude#i've had to ban specific organs from their characters because they were being wretched little beings. it Was funny though i'll not deny hfh#they've tormented shye + weirded out oath + killed and been killed many times#there were a couple times i saw genuine horror on their faces and i am living on that i'm ngl hfhsvbhs#like the horse thing! it would take a sec to explain so i won't go into it but oh i hurt myself laughing Lolll (it was dark but it was stil#funny hfbvs)#//OH i've gtg now lol --#ciao ciao see you somewhere later from now !! :D
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gattmammon · 3 months
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So the molecule change is going badly
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mainfaggot · 5 days
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my mom is so annoying god
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haelem · 6 months
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{sigh}
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murobrown · 13 days
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#let me vent here real quick#bachelorette/bachelor parties are one of the most stupid concepts we ever created#it's disgusting and humiliating to me#if I'd have a person who loves me enough that they decide that they want to spend the rest of their life with me it's like an ultimate win#i mean what more do you want to achieve in life? isn't that like a main goal?#I don't even mean marriage that's useless but just that safe warm loving feeling#and then you gather all your friends and you're going to look at it as game over?????#so anyway I should attempt a stupid bachelorette party this weekend and it's useless and incredibly expensive#and it's full of activities that are totally outside of my comfort zone like drinking and dancing and being half naked in a spa#and you have to wear some dumb accessories so that you also humiliate yourself in front of everyone#and first I thought will be able to handle it but yesterday I panicked and asked if I can be excused from all those activities#and people don't understand that my concept of fun is different from theirs#and i don't mean this in any negative way towards those people#it's just different for me and I'd love you to understand that#but... it's also not nice from me to ditch them last minute and let down my friend that's getting married#but yesterday I just had this moment when I thought fuck no I'm going to think about myself for once and it's just not right#because then you make people upset...#the actual wedding is another thing I dread...it will be an actual nightmare and there's no way I will ever escape it#so yeah I'm just full of emotions and I don't know what's the right thing to do and how to keep others happy and myself calm#at least last night I dreamt about Jake Bugg hugging me and if that's not the sign I'm going spend the rest of my life with that man...#i also decided to survive both of those events sober just to make it more challenging for myself#alcohol has way too many calories and i just want stay in control of my brain#i will see if the only three friends i have will resent me after this#i needed to sort my thoughts here even though I know ot doesn't look like so#i hope that you all are having a wonderful day and doing fantastic ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
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my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and
#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls#girl#and i was so tired#am so tired#i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't#i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne#i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭#just. kya batau main#i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i#liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest#i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic#everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much#draining and destroys my peace and then they leave#it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship#whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night#every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on#pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking#into a million tiny pieces everytime#i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the#sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's#she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of#i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her#but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna#die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i#need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy#does that make sense#okay bye i should really start writing a diary
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louisarmpits · 25 days
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I hate feeling this lonely
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