#happy april fools! (posts a real fic completely seriously)

[wooahaes]

on repeat

pairing: non-idol!dk x gn!reader

prompt: soulmate au series. 12/13

word count: ~7.0k

warnings: mentions of food. time loop au. some angst concerning not having a soulmate. also mentioned angst for other member (hao).

daisy’s notes: i feel like this one could have been longer but i didnt want it to get Too long compared to the other fics, yknow?

summary: What started as a day of making deliveries ended in Seokmin waking up on the same day. And then again, and then again… So, wherever you are, he needs to find you if he wants to see Saturday again.

Seokmin had been living his life on schedule ever since he turned ten. Before that, truly, because his parents had always set something for him (school, play, dinner, bath time, bedtime), but he knew that it became a little different after he turned ten. He had doctors appointments configured into that schedule, and every appointment had his dad holding his hand as the doctor tried yet again to work out what Seokmin's sign could be. Some of them would always be subtle and hard to detect, but there were plenty of things they could figure out.

And then when that list was exhausted, the afternoon doctor's appointments turned into Wednesday afternoon appointments with Dr. Jeon. She'd spoken to Seokmin for their first appointment with his mother sitting next to him, gauging how he truly felt about the fact he might not have a soulmate. He didn't tell her at first that it hurt to be different. Not with his mother next to him, rubbing soothing circles onto his back. He needed to smile for his mom, to be the bubbly boy she knew and loved.

Wednesday afternoon, Seokmin went back alone starting with that second visit. "My classmates made fun of me again for not having a soulmate."

Dr. Jeon had adjusted her bright pink glasses, and frowned at him. "How do you feel about that?"

That they're right, so it shouldn't hurt to hear the truth. "Bad." He'd curled into himself a little more, tugging his jacket closer to himself. Maybe he could disappear if he tried. "I can't help it."

Dr. Jeon's room was lit only by lamps and whatever light made it through the blinds and curtains. She hated the overhead lights (they buzzed loudly and she could never hear herself think, she said), and Seokmin never minded that they were off. The orange glow made things feel oddly safer. So did the fake sunflowers on her desk, tucked away behind her behemoth of a computer (Dr. Jeon said she could never keep them alive if they were real). As much as he wanted to disappear, he felt safe here. Dr. Jeon wasn't his mom. He didn't have to pretend for Dr. Jeon.

"I wish I had a soulmate," his voice was quieter that time. "Some of my classmates think something's wrong with me. That..."

She looked up from where she's been jotting something down. "That?" She prodded in that inquisitive way she did last time they spoke alone for a few minutes, and Seokmin knew he couldn't drop it without feeling guilty. "It's okay, Seokmin. You can take all the time you need."

He didn't meet her gaze. "They think that I'm never gonna be loved."

Dr. Jeon frowned again at his words. "Do your parents love you?"

His head shot up. "Yes! Of course they love me!"

"Do your friends?"

He nodded furiously. "And—And I love my friends. But what does that have to do with my soulmate?"

Dr. Jeon shook her head. "Love comes in many forms, Seokmin. A soulmate's love isn't guaranteed to be romantic, but even if it was, you aren't guaranteed to be with your soulmate. Love takes effort. My husband is a relationship counselor," she twisted her wedding ring around her finger, "and he sees plenty of couples who assume being soulmates is the only thing they need to make it work."

"But..." He furrowed his brow. "I thought soulmates were forever."

"They can be." Dr. Jeon paused. "You're so young, Seokmin, but you'll understand one day. A soulmate represents the possibility of that love, not the only existence of it." She chuckled. "Besides... You're too young to worry about romantic love. But for now, we can work on acceptance."

Acceptance...?

"Whether you have a soulmate or not, Seokmin," she said, the big beads of her earrings clinking together as she set aside her pad of notes, "you're still a person capable of loving others and being loved. It's hard for kids your age to separate out love like this, but you'll realize it as you grow up. There is nothing wrong with not having a soulmate."

Seokmin hadn't been able to accept her words for a while. Every day, he saw something new in the world about soulmates. A new drama based around them, or a new discount to those who can prove they're with their soulmate, or a new magazine with childish quizzes that pretend to predict your soulmate's traits. Every Wednesday, he found himself back on that plush couch and talking about something new. A new thing he's eliminated. Another classmate discovered their sign. News of an intern at his dad's work that found his soulmate (this one Seokmin wasn't supposed to hear). And every week, he left Dr. Jeon's sessions with those words said at the end:

There was nothing wrong with not having a soulmate... So why did Seokmin want one so badly?

Seokmin grew up. He started college, and he met Minghao through it. Eventually his routine changed as he began to balance work and school and a social life, all while living in a cozy little apartment with Minghao. Make breakfast, go to class, go to work, find time to shove food into his face, deal with more customers... It became a schedule he pretty much lived by with his social life a little less present. He'd get it back one day, hopefully. But he always made time for dinner with Minghao on Friday nights: their one day a week where they’ve completely slowed down together.

Minghao seemed more tired this week. "I'm tired of blue."

Seokmin looked up from his dinner. "Which blue?"

"Calm blue. Not sad. They're fine, wherever they are, and I should be glad for it, but I'm not." Minghao scowled.

Seokmin frowned as he watched Minghao. Their vision is filled with red now, he wanted to say. Are you okay with that? But he didn't, instead reaching out to ruffle his hair. "It'll be okay," he said. "At least they're calm now."

Minghao said nothing. He just sat there, staring, brows drawing together more and more.

"What?"

"It's darker."

His soulmate was upset by something. Seokmin averted his gaze. He kept his thoughts to himself. No doubt Minghao already had them himself: his frustration upset his soulmate. He couldn't help but wonder if that was the kind of person Minghao's soulmate was: someone who empathized even though they had no idea where their own soulmate's feelings were coming from. No doubt their vision would be clouded by those same blues. Minghao could be sharp-tongued and snarky at times, but he wasn't a monster. He worried for them whenever his vision was lit up with fiery reds and deep blues and nauseating green.

"I used to be angry, too, you know." Seokmin kept his focus on his own dinner now. "That I don't have one."

"You know I don't believe that." Minghao had always been one of the ones who, for some reason, believed Seokmin did have a soulmate. His sign just wasn't one of the obvious ones like his or Seungkwan's. But Minghao was reasonable about it, too: Seokmin was the kind of person who could forge his own soulmate if things felt right enough.

Seokmin waved it off. "But I understand being angry. It's something outside of your control, and it's hard to let that... be."

Humans, in Seokmin's experience, liked having control over themselves. He saw it in himself as a child, always wanting to have some choice in what he wore, in the foods he ate. He saw it now, too, in children when he went shopping and saw patient mothers holding up two options for their child to pick from. But he always saw it the most with his friends. The frustration that etched itself into Minghao's brows whenever the colors changed, the subtle annoyance before his thanks when someone pushed Seungcheol toward the right object, the way Seungkwan would flinch from pain sometime and wave off any concern. All things that stemmed from depending entirely upon another person in one way or another. And Seokmin felt it, too, in not having. A soulmate was never a guarantee to have love in your life, after all. Yet Seokmin didn't get to choose whether he would want this person at all. Would he? If he had a soulmate, would he fall for them? He had plenty of love in his heart to give... but would they even want it from him, too?

"You're right," Minghao's voice was softer now. "I think... I want to meet them someday."

Seokmin smiled. "I think you should."

“I’m scared they’ll hate me.” Minghao let out a sigh, staring down at his food for a moment. “So what if they do?”

“Then you’ll figure it out.” Seokmin reached across the table, squeezing Minghao’s hand gently. “If they’re your soulmate… Then they’ll try to understand you. You’ll do the same, right?”

Minghao met his gaze, but said nothing. Today wasn’t a day that he could agree with Seokmin, already too inside his own head. In time, he’d accept it: Seokmin knew he would. He just needed time, and Seokmin was more than happy to give him that and whatever space he needed. He could believe in Minghao’s soulmate enough for the both of them. 

And the day he met them face to face, Seokmin knew he’d been right: Minghao’s soulmate was patient in the way he needed them to be. Understanding, too, without any hidden malice toward him. Exactly what Minghao needed.

There was a text from Seungcheol in the group chat: dinner at jun's? i'm paying :)

Not everyone was able to make it, of course. It was horribly last minute, but Seokmin figured it had to be important since it was. A few people had their reasons to not be there (work, other things that needed doing). Seokmin, on the other hand, was free from his usual job. All he had was the option to make some deliveries for extra money, and he'd probably spend the day doing that to get some exercise in. He rolled out of bed, got ready for the day, and stepped out of his bedroom to see where Minghao was asleep on the couch. Seokmin paused, brows drawing together until he saw that he was clutching his phone still. Ah. He must have come back late last night and fell asleep while on the phone with his soulmate as they made their way home. Seokmin left him with a blanket draped over him before he headed out for the day. Maybe next time, Minghao would end up asleep in his own room.

He checked the app while waiting for the elevator. Sure enough, there were already delivery orders made. Groceries (he only ever accepted the small orders), food deliveries, flowers... Seokmin scrolled through for the closest pickup to start. He wouldn't mind the long ride to wherever he was delivering to, but there was a flower shop just down the street that Seokmin always loved making deliveries for. Flowers made people happy, after all. One popped up from someone named Minho for someone named Jinki ("a 'thank you' gift for my hyung"), and Seokmin accepted it without another thought. Soon enough he'd taken the elevator down and set out for the day, pedaling his way to the flower shop.

Jinki had been caught off-guard when Seokmin showed up to his workplace with a vase of sunflowers he'd protected with his life. He passed the message onto the man, and made his way out for the next delivery, bumping into an intern on his way out. He'd apologized to her quickly, and started out for another delivery. A grocery delivery for a single dad who was taking care of a sick kid, another run to a store for cat food for a man who'd run low and couldn't leave his apartment easily with a broken leg, a lunch delivery for a young woman at work... Seokmin went about his day like any other, always greeting people with a smile before moving onto the next thing. By the end of the day, he was exhausted, and immediately went to Jun's restaurant to rest.

Jun wordlessly set a cup of water in front of him. "Push these tables together after you wipe them down," he said. "Cheol will be here soon."

Seokmin had waved him off after agreeing, just enjoying a few minutes of downtime. It wasn't even his job—Where the hell was Mingyu?—but Seungcheol had insisted that it was important. He didn't mind helping out if it made things move a little smoother. He made his way to the back to grab the things he needed, and put himself back to work. The tables were wiped down thoroughly, and Seokmin pushed them together before straightening up. The next time the door chimed, Seungcheol had come in with the brightest smile on his face that Seokmin had ever seen.

"What happened?" He asked, pushing a final chair into place. "Minghao texted to say his soulmate had something come up. I'll let him know the good news tonight, okay?"

Seungcheol made his way over, shedding the light jacket he was wearing. "I should wait until the others get here, but..." He paused, and then shook his head. "No—I'll wait. It's important."

Seokmin stood still for a moment, mind already thrumming with possibilities. "It is good news... Right?"

He nodded. "It's..." His gaze softened a little as his smile fell a little. His happiness was still warm and welcoming, but now felt akin to the tenderness of a warm embrace than the crackling fire it had been before. "It's really good news, Seokmin."

The possibilities dwindled by tens and hundreds. No bad news... Which meant this had to be big. A promotion, or maybe he finally heard back from the graduate program he was trying to get into? Seokmin drummed his fingers along the chair he'd been clutching, before tearing him away from it. People began to file in over the next twenty minutes: Jeonghan and Joshua arriving together, Mingyu bursting into the room loudly (yes, Jun, he saw the restaurant was empty—and yes, he enjoyed resting after work) with Soonyoung coming in just a few minutes later, and eventually Vernon and Chan had joined the table while bemoaning a late bus. Mingyu helped Jun serve food as they caught up on life.

“Seungcheol,” Jeonghan called out from the other end of the table, a knowing look on his face. “You wanted to tell them something.”

Seungcheol fought back a smile. “I found them.” 

Immediately, the room went silent. Vernon was staring at him with wide-eyes, mouth agape. Jeonghan was just smiling, clearly having been informed ahead of time—and the same could be said of Joshua, who had this shit-eating grin on his face.

“Well?” Seungcheol pouted. “You aren’t going to say anything?”

“That’s great!” Seokmin decided to say quickly, and he saw the way Seungcheol then smiled. “Do you want us to keep it a secret, or can I tell Minghao?”

“You can tell him,” Seungcheol waved him off. “I just wanted to tell the rest of you. I told Seungkwan—” He then paused, “Speaking of—All of you are terrible!” He scowled a little. “I told him first and he immediately started sending me pictures of myself in ugly outfits you all swore went together!”

Jeonghan snorted, typing something out on his phone. “We didn’t do it all the time, you know.”

Seokmin chuckled, glancing over to where Jun had settled in the chair next to him. “Remember the shirt he wore to this place’s opening?”

Seungcheol let out another whine. “I didn’t know it was neon! Joshua said it wasn’t that bad!”

“It wasn’t!” 

If looks could kill, Joshua would be ash. But Seungcheol had started bickering with him about it (apparently that shirt had been a gift from Joshua… on April fools…), and Seokmin took his chance to steal another dumpling. His phone buzzed, and he glanced down at it to see it was the app he delivered for—there was someone for a restaurant not that far away. He dismissed it. He could use the money, sure, but… He’d stay at least a little longer. Just to see Seungcheol happy.

Fed up with his debate with Joshua (an immovable object against Seungcheol’s unstoppable force), Seungcheol let the topic go for now. “We’re going out on Tuesday, actually,” he said. “I think you guys will like them. We ended up shopping together for a while and talking—they’re really nice, and…”

Seokmin let his mind drift for a moment as he listened, his own heart sinking in his chest. Everyone seemed to be finding their soulmate over this past year. He looked at Jun for a moment. That meant he was the only one who hadn’t found his soulmate yet, right? He couldn’t imagine being the last person, but Jun seemed to be taking it well. Soonyoung, just as Seokmin did, went out on the occasional date—hell, both of them had dated a bit recently before deciding to prioritize other things for a bit. But it was weird knowing that he was going to be on his own now. Even Vernon and Jihoon ended up having soulmates. Seokmin had wanted to hold out hope that maybe that meant he had one, too, but…

The door opened, and in walked someone who looked at the group with wide-eyes. “Sorry—I thought this was still open—”

“It is!” Jun said, getting up and making his way toward the counter. “Sorry, how can I help you?”

The customer had started rambling about their friend, Minho, having been here a few days ago. Seokmin listened as they explained their own soulmate sign—the same as Jun’s—and he felt his feelings swirl inside of him. The computer chirped, and Seokmin moved to see that it was a takeout request. With permission from Jun, Seokmin accepted it and immediately went to snag the delivery request himself. He’d be back before the hour was over, and it’d give him some time to clear his mind. The customer had gone to an empty table, and Jun disappeared into the back to start cooking both their food and the order that Seokmin left hanging on the line.

“Hey.” Vernon had made his way over to the counter, voice lower, “Everything okay?”

Seokmin nodded, quietly sliding a fortune cookie across the counter. “I’m going to make a delivery,” he said. “Just to get some air.”

Vernon slowly nodded, immediately getting it. He’d stepped out when his own struggles were getting to him before he found his own soulmate, after all. “Gotcha. Is it a good tip?”

Seokmin glanced at the screen. Not really, but he didn’t mind: it was a small order and he wasn’t going far. It was better than no tip, at least. “Yeah,” he lied. “I could use the extra money.”

Vernon knew he was lying. But he nodded again, tucking the cookie into his hoodie pocket. “Travel safe, dude.”

All too quickly, Jun had plated the food. Mingyu had dipped into the back, delivering the dishes to the customer that sat alone, and Jun sat next to Seokmin. He’d uncapped a sharpie with his teeth, drawing a little cat onto the corner of the plate alongside a flower. Above it, he’d written some message of encouragement—all a part of the order’s request. 

“Someone else could pick up the order,” Jun capped the marker again. “If you don’t want to go.” 

Seokmin shrugged it off. “It isn’t far.” He paused, “Plus my bike is outside. I’ll be back soon, okay?”

Jun hadn’t responded, brows drawing together. He looked over to the customer in the room, watching as they ate for a moment.

“Jun?”

He took a step away, realization spreading over his features. “Sorry, I just—” He walked away, quietly greeting the customer. Seokmin watched as he rounded the other chair, hands curling around the top of it as he said something… and soon Seokmin knew. 

So he packed away the meal, tying the bag, and confirmed that the order was on its way. He’d congratulate Jun later on finding his soulmate. But now, he just needed to get out before the heat and smell of spice suffocated him. He grabbed his bike, unlocked it, and took off toward the towering building not that far into the city. It was all too easy to get into the building and get pointed toward the right floor. Normally, he’d leave it here, but he decided to waste a few minutes heading upstairs.

A young man had greeted him, breaking away from where his coworkers were gathered around pizza. One of them had already heckled him for being the one person to order something out, but it all seemed to be in good faith. The guy—Soobin, according to the app—had thanked him, quickly enough. Someone bumped into Seokmin as he was waiting for Soobin to hand him a cash tip (something he’d insisted upon), and Seokmin felt his heart leap. Maybe he’d text Jun and apologize and head home instead. Things were… off. 

Jun didn’t hold it against him when he did. All he did was wish him a good night, and Seokmin was thankful for it. 

There was a text from Seungcheol in the group chat: dinner at jun's? i'm paying :)

Which was odd. Seungcheol had already treated them out last night, so why invite them out again? What was he going to announce—a marriage proposal? Seokmin was still half asleep as he pushed himself out of bed. He'd agree to be there after he ate breakfast. He skipped it yesterday and soon regretted it. Yet the moment he stepped out of his bedroom, he saw Minghao asleep on the couch again. He sighed, rubbing his eyes as he made his way over.

"Minghao, your bed is more comfortable," he nudged him awake. "Two nights in a row? Really?"

Minghao had furrowed his brow upon waking up, staring up at him. "Two...? What are you talking about?"

Seokmin walked away, stretching as he went. "Didn't you fall asleep here the other night?"

With a confused look, he shook his head, running a hand through his hair. He stretched before reaching for his phone, looking down to see the new message on it. "What does Cheol want...? It's short notice and he knows it."

Seokmin looked up, already growing more confused. "He found his soulmate. Don't you remember? I told you when I got back last night."

"You were asleep when I got in." Minghao frowned at him. "When did he tell you?"

"Last night when we..." He trailed off, looking at his phone more clearly now. It was Friday, but yesterday had been Friday. He knew it, because he'd lived it. "We had dinner with a couple of the others, and..."

Minghao folded his jacket over his arms, and it was now that Seokmin realized this had been what he'd seen Minghao wearing on Thursday night. "You must be psychic or something," he made his way toward his room. "Don't ruin the surprise. Cheol will never let you hear the end of it if you do."

Yesterday was Friday. Seokmin knew that yesterday was Friday. So why the hell was it Friday again? Maybe he'd dreamed the entire thing. Was that a sign? He'd look into it later. Food and work would come first. He'd start looking into it when he showed up to Jun's restaurant tonight.

Sure enough, every single order he'd filled yesterday was right there today. Seokmin accepted those, too: maybe his dream meant something.

Sure enough, the night played out the same. Seungcheol announced having a soulmate. The others teased him over the past outfits he’d worn. Joshua poked fun at a neon shirt. Jun’s soulmate came into the restaurant. And Seokmin accepted that same takeout order. This time he had almost avoided the person coming in, and he’d given them a strange look when they turned back to acknowledge him this time. Again, they apologized to him after a moment before going on, checking their phone.

And then he went to sleep, and, again, it was Friday.

Around the fifth Friday he lived through, Seokmin realized a few things. He’d already figured out that he both met his soulmate and missed them (he Googled a lot that third Friday), and that he just needed to find them to break the loop. Every single day, he tried to fill the same delivery orders. He tried to go to the same places at the same time. He met the same people most of the time—he’d already missed that final order twice now, snatched up by someone else while he was trying to figure out what was wrong. 

But that was… beyond several Fridays ago. This was Friday number fifteen, and he’d managed to exact a few things. Minghao had given him something to say to prove that, yes, Seokmin was trapped in a time loop (details of his date the night before, followed by a quick enough explanation that Minghao knew wasn’t bullshit by the panic in his voice), and it’d given him an ally in every repeat day. He’d slipped up and spoiled Seungcheol’s surprise during one of the loops and given up on finding his soulmate that time. It didn’t feel fair to potentially let that be the day. 

Minghao filled a cup with ice and water. “You’re not trying to make the day perfect though, right? Because you’re going to just prolong it if you do.”

“I’m not.” Seokmin had stretched out across their couch, arms resting over his stomach. He didn’t have to leave for another few minutes. “I just didn’t want to find them after I ruined Seungcheol’s surprise.”

“He doesn’t remember now, though,” he shrugged. “Try to find them soon, though. You seem tired.”

“I am.” 

Minghao came over to him, extending the glass to him. “Then get out there and keep looking.”

“I have to stick to the schedule, though,” Seokmin accepted the glass as he sat up. “Otherwise I’ll keep missing them.” 

“Remember what we all said?” Minghao crossed his arms. “You’ll know them when you see them.”

Seokmin moved over, giving Minghao space to sit next to him. “I don’t know what that means.”

“When I saw my soulmate, I…” He pressed his lips together, looking toward the windows for a moment. “I felt like I was at peace.” Again, he paused, thinking over his words. “Like… I was ready to try to love them. To learn more about them and see why they were my soulmate.” 

That night, Seokmin posed the question of how they all knew while sitting at dinner with the others. He mouthed an apology to Soonyoung for asking a question neither of them (to his knowledge) would ever understand, but he didn’t seem all too bothered by it. The group had gone quiet, all thinking about their individual answers. And as Seokmin expected, Seungcheol had his the soonest.

“I didn’t feel anything special until I caught them,” he admitted, looking at Seokmin. “But when I did… It felt like everything was right. Like… Everything had been leading to that moment. I was where I needed to be, I think. As much as I wanted to meet them sooner, I think we found each other at the right time.”

Jeonghan nodded along to it, a soft hum sounding from him as he agreed with every sentence. “Right. I know I’m different because I’ve always known mine, but… I felt like I’d found the missing piece in my life. I know that’s sappy to say,” he laughed softly, “but it’s true. I’ve loved them this long, you know?”

Vernon had pressed his lips together. And a moment later, he nodded, too. “Right. I’d liked them for a while, but I think realizing that our sign had been right there the entire time… It all just made sense—”

“You literally made out with them immediately, don’t act all sentimental,” Chan rolled his eyes. “But… I felt this pull when I met them. Their friend had caught me, but it still felt like something was pulling me toward them.”

“Right, right…” Mingyu nodded along to that. “It felt like things were right in this way I can’t describe.”

Joshua hummed to himself, the sole person without an answer yet. He raked his fingers through his hair before meeting Seokmin’s gaze. “Maybe I’m just weird, but I didn’t really have anything like that. Like… I knew I was about to meet them since we’d agreed to meet up at a coffee shop, but the most I felt was this comfortable warmth. Like, we’d grown up sharing this experience together. It just felt like I met someone who understood me in some way.”

Seokmin noted down everything in his mind. A feeling of things being right, or a pull toward someone, or even that he’d found something he’d always been missing (although maybe without realizing it, if it were to apply to him). 

Yet he went to bed that night, woke up to another Friday, and wondered if he had broken something along the way.

Online forums helped plenty. He made and remade an account and the same post since around Friday number eight, always getting the same people chiming in and believing in him. You’ll find them soon! He’d always say how many Fridays he’d repeated, and yet there was always the same encouragement. Today was Friday number seventeen. Every single day, Seokmin woke up to the same situation. A new account, a new post. Seungcheol’s text. The same deliveries, the same thanks. The same breaks for lunch, including texting Mingyu about meeting up for coffee sometime (he hadn’t made it yet, but he was determined to). The people on the forums had told him the same thing his friends did: he would know his soulmate when he saw them.

So why was he so antsy today?

He’d shown up to Jun’s restaurant at the same time, wiping down the tables in record speed before relaxing with his cup of ice water. He listened to the clamor of pans in the back as Jun cooked for another table, eyes fluttering shut as he sighed. Friday number seventeen, and he wasn’t getting any closer, was he? Over two weeks and he’d found little ways to break up the monotony when he could. No one he delivered to was his soulmate. No one in that Jinki guy’s office had faced a repeat day (he’d done the stupid thing and stood up during day twelve and asked out loud, and he was thankful no one would remember it by midnight). No one in any of the stores he went to, either (again, day fourteen he did the same as he did with Jinki’s work). And he’d delivered to Soobin faster than ever before, only to receive no answer when he asked yesterday. 

So where was his soulmate?

Seungcheol arrived soon enough, smiling as brightly as ever. The others filed in over time, too. Jeonghan and Joshua arrived together once more, always talking about some movie they were still debating about the real meaning of. Mingyu made a big deal stretching and bragging about his short break at home with his soulmate—he’d bring the back takeout afterward. Soonyoung burst into the restaurant soon enough, always talking about how he was tired of his office being short on staff. Then Vernon and Chan, bemoaning their late bus as always, joined the table soon enough. Seokmin had known the following conversation by heart: Seungcheol announcing that he found his soulmate, followed by him pouting when no one immediately said anything. Seokmin always found himself being the first to congratulate him, saying he’d pass word along to Minghao if he wanted. Seungkwan sent Seungcheol all of the ugly outfits they’d lovingly tricked him into wearing over the years (never for serious events—always for a stupid get-together with the full group). The neon shirt. Jun’s soulmate would be there soon. They always came in at the exact same time…

Jun reached out, fingers brushing against Seokmin’s bicep and tearing his eyes away from his watch. “Are you okay?” His voice was soft enough to not alert the others, and Seokmin barely paid him any mind at first.

“Just waiting for something.” He paused, then realized that he was the only person present who knew of his situation. He looked up, shaking his head as he turned to Jun. “Sorry! Sorry, I’m fine. Just…” He glanced at the door for a moment. Any moment now. “Waiting.”

Seungcheol spoke up again about his soulmate, and Seokmin was thankful for the change in topic. He’d explain it all in due time. Hopefully today would give him another do-over and he wouldn’t worry Jun. Soon enough, the door jingled, and Seokmin rose up out of his chair. Jun’s soulmate was here, which meant the order from Soobin would be coming in soon. He’d made his way over to the computer, tapping at the edge of it as he waited impatiently. Soon. Soon. Jun had stood up, excusing himself from the group to unknowingly speak to his soulmate.

“Sorry,” Jun’s soulmate had said to him, and he slid them a menu without much thought. “My friend, Minho, came here with a couple of friends…”

Seconds passed with each tap of Seokmin’s finger. Soobin’s order. Always steamed pork buns and fried rice and some sort of beef or pork (the only thing that might change—the tiniest change that didn’t affect anything). He pressed his lips tighter together. Tomorrow, he’d start from the top. He’d ask everyone. He’d tell everyone that he was stuck in a time loop. Minghao would help him convince them all. If they knew that Seokmin was looking for his soulmate, they would help. 

The computer chimed. Seokmin tapped the order, reading over it. Steamed pork buns. Fried rice. Beef. And…

And more?

He hesitated to accept it, glancing over to Jun and his soulmate.  “Jun. There’s a request for takeout.” He paused for just a second, “I’m gonna confirm it, alright?”

Jun waved him on, and Seokmin felt his heart hammering in his chest as the ticket printed out. He made his way to the kitchen, clipping it to the line for Jun to refer to. This had to be a sign. You were there. You had to be there, right? No one ever changed their order like this. His brows knit together. Had he done something to set off some sort of butterfly effect? Was he just giving himself false hope now? He wanted out of this loop, soulmate or no soulmate. He’d lived this Friday seventeen times now, and all he wanted was to wake up on Saturday morning and go get coffee with Mingyu because Mingyu was offering. Mingyu would pay for a slice of cake or whatever dessert he wanted, too. And at this point, Seokmin had earned the same thing.

“Is everything okay?” Jun had approached him, keeping his voice low—again, mindful of what little privacy they had with so many of their friends present. “You seem… different.”

He shook his head. No need to worry him yet. “The ticket’s on the line,” he couldn’t stop staring at the screen now. An extra order. For what? For who? Jun hadn’t budged. Seokmin decided to lie: “Just… thought I recognized the name.”

Thankfully, Jun shrugged it off. Mingyu had made his way to the kitchens to help, and Seokmin held himself together. He would not get his hopes up. Not too high. This could be it, or it could be some sort of butterfly effect. He took a different way to the store earlier, after all. Wasn’t that what the whole thing was based around? Small actions having bigger impacts? Wonwoo would know. He was smart, he’d probably read about it. Maybe he’d ask Wonwoo about it on Friday number eighteen, if he woke up on Friday again. 

The food was made and plated before Seokmin knew, and he watched as Jun uncapped a sharpie with his teeth. He’d drawn a little cat onto the corner of one of the lids—the unfamiliar order, Seokmin realized—and then drew a little flower next to it. He’d always done it for Soobin’s order. Would that change things, too…?

“Someone else could pick up the order,” Jun said as he re-capped the marker. “If you don’t want to go.”

“No!” Seokmin paused. When did he get so desperate? He waved a hand, trying to act casual again. “I mean—The money is good, and my bike is outside.” Please don’t push. “I’ll try to be back to help clean up.” But if this is it, I won’t. I can’t. Please understand. Seokmin tied the bag tight after throwing in a few sets of utensils and more than enough fortune cookies. He picked up the bag, stopping to turn back to Jun. 

His soulmate was right there, and Jun hadn’t realized it yet. Maybe…

“Jun?”

Jun looked up from where he’d begun to tidy up behind the counter, that same earnest look on his face. Seokmin always wondered what he looked like when he realized that person was his soulmate. Even when he missed being able to deliver Soobin’s order, he tried to go out, to retrace his steps and hopefully run into his soulmate. Then again… Would telling him throw things off even further? Or would Jun even want for him to tell him? 

Seokmin opened his mouth, then closed it a moment later. He turned, looking at Jun’s soulmate. They were sitting alone, about to break into their meal. Jun would know soon enough. And… if it were him, Seokmin wouldn’t want to have the moment given to him like this. He turned back to Jun one last time. “Actually… Don’t worry about it. I’ll be back later.”

He could see the concern on Jun’s face, clear as day. No doubt he would be calling him come morning. Seokmin made his way out of the restaurant, waving to the others and saying he’d try to be back as soon as he could. Soon enough, he’d unlocked the bike lock and tucked it into his bag, strapping on his helmet. He’d biked this path so many times he knew it by heart, no need to keep track of his location through his phone’s map. He left his bike near the doors in the lobby, the way he always did when the secretary let him into the building. The elevator ride felt shorter than normal, and Seokmin found himself hesitating. He could hear Soobin and his coworkers talking in the other room. 

He shut his eyes, took a deep breath, and made his way forward. Soobin lit up when he saw him. Again, he was heckled by another coworker for ordering something else, and Soobin waved them off.

“I’m not the only one,” he’d said this time. “They’re—” He paused, looking around, only to roll his eyes. “They’re in the bathroom still—”

“I’m here!”

Your shoulder bumped against Seokmin as you rushed in, and Seokmin felt his heart leap. It was you. You’d bumped into him that first day while Soobin was giving him the cash tip he’d insisted on. And now you were pulling out your own wallet, insisting on covering a cash tip since Soobin hadn’t tipped enough on the app. You’d been rambling about how today you felt like something other than pizza, and…

“It’s you.” 

You looked up, blinking as you stared at Seokmin. “Me…?” And then it clicked, those pretty eyes lighting up with realization. “You—” You had gasped, eyes already growing teary. “You’re—”

Seokmin could kiss you now, relief flooding every single cell in his body. He’d dropped the bag onto Soobin’s desk, ignoring the way the guy dove to make sure nothing spilled, and stepped forward. You had immediately wrapped your arms around him, squeezing him tight. Something felt right about it all, like his life had come together in a way he never knew it could have. The rest of your coworkers had gone quiet, and Seokmin had let himself cry a little. 

“I’ve been looking for you,” he said, voice wavering. He held you tighter, “I—I almost thought I wouldn’t find you.”

You said nothing and just let yourself cry out of relief. 

When you finally pulled away, it was to tell your coworkers that you needed to leave soon. You knew just as well as he did that the two of you needed to be together when midnight struck, and you weren’t going to work through the entire night. Not with Seokmin right there with you. It seemed to renew the energy in your team as all of you got to work. You pulled a chair over for Seokmin to sit near you while he waited, and he took the chance to text a few things out:

To Minghao: I’ll see you saturday

To Jun: I’ll explain tomorrow :) don’t worry about me. I’m okay now.

And to Seungcheol: I found them. 

You had paused for a moment, looking at Seokmin curiously. After a moment, you caught yourself staring, and grew flustered. “Sorry. Just… What do you want to do? We've got some time to kill until midnight, so...”

Seokmin had been living his life adhering to routine. From childhood to adulthood to the past seventeen Fridays, everything had a time and place for him to be. So he just smiled at you, rolling his chair a little closer to you: “Whatever you want to do.” He paused, deciding to go all in on being cheesy. “Let’s follow our hearts this time, okay?”

And you, who had found routine over and over in your own life, smiled and made living on repeat worth it with that smile.

taglist: @twancingyunhao @wonuziex @synthetickitsune @staranghae @porridgesblog @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @laylasbunbunny @bewoyewo

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

Update and a few asks

Hi everyone!

I’ve FINALLY posted an annotated bibliography for Baghdad Waltz. Thanks to those of you who requested and encouraged me to do it. It’s not entirely comprehensive, but I tried to pick the works that were most influential and probably the most helpful for everyone. 

I’m still very steadily cranking away on my newest fic How You Leave, and it’s completely strange to be writing ahead of my posting schedule (though I suppose that’s what happens when you don’t write 32k word chapters). This fic is HARD. But I’m very glad I’m writing it, and I’m so happy to have a small but mighty cohort of readers who are trusting me to take them on this journey. 

So, because How You Leave has been so difficult, I decided to accept an April Fool’s Day challenge from @licketysplittt​, who sent me the picture below and dared me to write a Stucky story based on it:

Needless to say, writing a “fun” one-shot is something of a foreign concept to me, but challenge accepted! The Premise: Yuppie liberal Steve Rogers moves to Daytona Beach, FL from NYC and decides to buy a gun from die-hard libertarian Army vet Bucky Barnes. Shenanigans ensue. Stay tuned!

Now some asks:

Thank you so much for the very kind words. I’ve been flat out horrible about working through BW comments, though I’m trying to get to a few every week (mostly because I’m blessed with so may long, beautiful comments that I want to answer thoughtfully, which does take time). I miss BW Bucky and Steve very much, and I’m so glad when people feel similarly attached to them. I’m also happy that it was a powerful emotional experience for you. I’m still not sure if I’ve fully recovered, lol [sob] 

It’s funny you say this, because one of the reasons I’ve had such a hard time coming back to the annotated bibliography is that there’s a visceral *UGH* I feel whenever I see anything about BW. I think diving into a new story so fast was my way of avoiding some of the emotional processing I needed to do (fortunately, there’s plenty of space there for me to feel sads). Because yes, BW is sad. But I’m happy that the story and the ending felt realistic to you. I also like the idea that they do the work they need to do to heal, not only from their trauma/grief but also from the damage this relationship has caused them. I think of it as a reset button, a process that could allow them to come back together in another way at another time and be really damn good with each other, whatever form their relationship takes. I’m just such a fundamental optimist that I can’t really see it cynically. I don’t even know how these people would not be in each other’s lives, somehow. Some way. Thank you so much for the kind words!

Thanks for asking these!

You mean a straight-up happy ending, like ride off into the uncomplicated sunset happy? I’ll never say never, but probably not. Those aren’t the stories I like to read, and they’re not the ones I want to tell. I just can’t do it, because I can’t buy into it. I appreciate an ending that has happy elements and some undertones of loss or uncertainty, which is so much more consistent with real life. I think this is based on the fact that I come to fandom not for escapism but for raw and honest storytelling. This means that I’m more often than not barking up the wrong tree, because so many people come to fandom because life is a little too raw and honest and they want a place with the endings people don’t get often in the real world. I totally respect that and think fandom is a great place for this. But to illustrate this difference, one of my most aversive fic experiences would be to read something that’s high angst, high stakes, high emotion and then... they get married and live happily ever after. I know a lot of people are the exact opposite! But fortunately, there is literally something for everyone in a fandom as vast as Stucky.

As for publishing BW, yeah, after I finish How You Leave, I’m going to start pivoting seriously to original work in traditional publishing. So I’m not sure how much more time I’ll have to devote to fandom writing after that, though I imagine I may push out one-shots or brief multi-part fics if there’s something I’m just dying to do. The problem is that, in order to publish something like BW, I need higher word count than any agent or publisher would give to a first time writer. So I need to try to get something shorter published so that I can establish a track record of marketability, which may increase my chances of publishing BW in a form I’d be pleased with. These are all wildly improbable things, so I’m pushing forward with few expectations that’ll I succeed in getting anything published. At least I like my day job lol! But I did say I was an optimist, so I’m going to give it my best shot. 

For those of you following How You Leave, I’ll have another chapter out today or tomorrow. I hope you’re all doing well!

[callmevenji]

I made an April’s Fools chapter for my fic “like real people do”, I’m posting it here since I’ll be deleting it from AO3. 

Victor stares at the hospital bed with dread filling his chest.

He reaches out and feels the air around them turning cold, he doesn’t recognize this Benji, so void of life and vibrance, so dull. No sassy comebacks, no dorky jokes. Just silence.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” A voice startles him.

Victor looks around, scrambling for a logical explanation.

“What is  he doing here?” Benji grunts, crossing his arms.

“Just visiting… My, um, friend. Yeah.” Victor stutters.

“How do you know Benji?” He sidles with Victor and they both stare at the boy lying in the bed, completely limp.

“I- How do you know him?”

“He was the lead singer of my band,” Derek whispers. “The Sticky Beaks, remember?”

“Y-Yeah,” Victor looks at Derek and their eyes meet. Blue orbits staring right into his soul. “You guys were really good at the Battle of the Bands.”

“What are you doing, Victor?” Benji asks accusingly, his brow furrowed. Victor ignores him.

Derek smiles at him. “Have you given any thought to my offer?”

“What offer?”

“Showing you around the city, giving you a tour of Atlanta,” Derek says, remembering their last conversation.

Victor gulps loudly. “I- I think, um- Yeah, yeah. I- I’d love that.”

“What?” Benji exclaims angrily.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Derek asks, his voice deepening. “No offense but Benji laying on that bed is kind of killing the mood.”

“M-hmm. Yeah, let’s go.” 

Benji gasps. “Victor? What the hell?”

Victor stops walking and turns to Benji, but keeps talking to Derek. “Actually, I have to tell you something.”

“What’s that?”

“Benji’s ghost has been following me around. I can’t get rid of him.” Victor says, rolling his eyes. “I think the only way I could ever get rid of him is by… know.” Victor drags his thumb across his neck.

“You know, I’ve never felt this connected to anyone, ever,” Derek whispers. “I’d kill for you.”

“What the fuck is going on?” Benji screams.

Victor blushes and looks away. “Really?”

“Yeah, let’s do it,” Derek shrugs. “He’s basically dead already, whatever.”

Victor chuckles. “Yeah, shall we?”

“Shall we? What do you mean shall we?” Benji says, trying to stop Victor but failing. “Victor, fuck off.”

Victor grabs Derek’s hand and pulls him toward the machine beside Benji’s bed. 

“Shall we do it together?” 

“On the count of three.”

Derek leads Victor’s hand to the on/off button of the machine. One simple switch will end this whole nightmare. Victor will finally be able to be free, and now that he has Derek, he’ll finally be able to live his wildest gay fantasies. He can’t wait.

“Victor, have you lost your mind?” Benji mutters. “Seriously? Derek? Let me tell you he isn’t that good of a boyfriend, you’re making a huge mistake!”

They count in unison, their hands hovering over the switch. 

“1, 2…”

“No!

“Three!” Victor and Derek push the button. An alarm goes off and they quickly try to put it out to no avail.

“Ugh, guess we’ll be going to jail for this one,” Victor pouts.

“At least we’ll be together,” Derek says, hugging him. Original End Note:  THE END!!! Just kidding... Happy April's Fools everyone!!!!I'm so sorry, please don't hate me ahfjgfas I'll post the real chapter tomorrow T.T THIS IS JUST A JOKE. Love y'all.

[serenlyss]

Mob Psycho Fic Recs

I've been keeping track of some of my favorite finished and in-progress mp100 fics as I find them and figured I'd show them some love by linking them here! They come in no particular order or genre, just whichever I bookmarked last haha. If you"re looking for good mp100 fics be sure to check these out!

To Strike A Chord Author: Hino Rating: Teen Archive Warnings: None Completion Status: Complete Tags: platonic ritshou, mutual trauma, post world domination arc Summary: Ritsu visits Shou, feeling uneasy about his past. But he's not the only one. My Notes: Short and sweet, it touches on Shou and Ritsu’s mutual trauma from the World Domination arc and gives insight in the Suzuki family relationship before Touichirou decided to take over the world. Also Shou plays the guitar.

Of Cold Hands Reaching Author: UncannyCookie Rating: G Archive Warnings: None Completion Status: Complete Tags: terumob (can be read as platonic), angst, ptsd, trauma recovery, hurt/comfort, dissociation, miscommunication, post-mogami arc, slow burn Summary: After six months in Mogami's mind world that weren't even real anyway, Mob returns to his old life. Everything is fine. My Notes: A really interesting take on what Mob’s mind looks like after spending six months in Mogami’s fake world. It gets pretty real when discussing Mob’s dissociation and apathy about the whole thing but gets sweet at the end and has a happy ending. It’s introspective, which I really like, but has enough lighter moments in between that it doesn’t feel heavy constantly.

Delirium Author: Janekfan Rating: G Archive Warnings: None Completion Status: Complete Tags: serirei, pneumonia, hospitalization, guilt, smoking, depression, sel-harm, panic attacks, fever, sickfic, love, kissing, caretaking, misunderstandings, mental instability, flashbacks, unconsciousness Summary: Reigen questions himself. My Notes: Reigen decides to pick up smoking again as a coping mechanism and hides it from Serizawa. It goes into Reigen’s feelings of self-loathing and depressive tendencies that the manga only really touches on. It’s dreary pretty much throughout but does have a happy ending to end on a high note!

April Fools Author: SparkyFrootloops Rating: G Archive Warnings: None Completion Status: Complete Tags: dad reigen, good parent reigen, teru is reigen’s son, hijinks & shenanigans, pranks Summary:  Teruki gets to celebrate April Fools Day at his new home with Reigen. My Notes: This fic is short but so so funny and full of heart. Teru trying to prank Reigen, who he lives with in the context of the story, is hilarious and all the dialogue is just gold. I also really love Mob’s cameo in the second half. Just a solid found family comedy one-shot to lighten your mood and make you smile.

Broken, Repaired, New Author: GalacticConfectionist Rating: T Archive Warnings: None Completion Status: In Progress Tags: serirei, abuse, child abuse, domestic violence (all abuse is only implied/referenced, never shown), light angst, hurt/comfort, pining, good parent reigen, good brother reigen, original character but she’s really good Summary: “You’re a good kid” He said, ruffling his student’s hair. There’s a moment of quiet and Reigen sighs, “Mob, remember this. Guys who hit women are the biggest losers in the world.” Reigen’s sister comes to visit, shenanigans ensue. My Notes: I don’t usually go for fics with ocs in them since I don’t typically end up connecting with them but this is one of the rare exceptions! Reigen’s sister escapes her abusive husband with her daughter and goes to Reigen for help. She ends up staying with Serizawa and trying to set him up with her brother. Despite the references to abuse it’s actually a very lighthearted fic about wanting to make your friends happy and taking care of those you consider to be family. Misaki and Reigen’s sibling relationship is well-written and she has enough personality and motivation to make me invested in her situation. Just an all-around good read if you want to smile and feel happy.

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! lol Author: marnies Rating: Not Rated Archive Warnings: None Completion Status: In Progress Tags: serirei, good parent reigen, good parent serizawa, sickfic, fluff, epic family moments Summary:  reigen and serizawa adopt teru and shou and move in together asmr My Notes: This fic is just a good time. It’s not too far in but still has enough content to be worth a read. It doesn’t take itself too seriously, but that’s the charm of it, and it comes across as humorous and lighthearted with its found family dynamics. Reigen and Serizawa are both clueless parents of their adopted sick kids and are just trying to help each other out.

The Space Between Author: sofia-estrella Rating: M (nsfw content in later chapters) Archive Warnings: None Completion Status: In Progress Tags: serirei, reigen pov, slow burn, coworkers to friends to lovers Summary: Reigen never expected Serizawa to stay. My Notes: A really nice fic about how Reigen and Serizawa’s relationship grows and evolves slowly as they spend more than a year together over the course of the narrative. Both Reigen and Serizawa are very in character and their relationship is approached with care and concern from both sides, which I think is very fitting for them! It does a good job of balancing soft character interaction with personal squabbles and drama, which makes for an interesting and entertaining read.

The Joy of Cooking (for a Family You Didn’t Know You Had) Author: pepperfield Rating: G Archive Warnings: None Completion Status: In Progress Tags: good parent reigen, background serirei, found family, unintentional parenthood, cooking, meddling kids, family fluff, food as a metaphor for love, getting together, light pining, 5+1 Summary: At first, it's easy. Mob likes takoyaki. This, Reigen can remember. When Teru moves in, things get a little more complex, but it's fine. He only has to feed one kid on a regular basis; he can handle this. But before he knows it, he's memorized all of Tome's favorite restaurants and he's keeping a stash of snacks in the office just in case Shou visits. This whole "family" business has gotten out of hand. My Notes: Good old dad Reigen taking care of his five unruly children. In this fic Teru lives with Reigen and everyone else is just along for the collective ride. It’s a 5+1 fic about Reigen cooking/buying food for the kids as a way to show he cares about them. It’s really cute and shows how much Reigen cares about the esper boys and Tome after all is said and done in the manga.

On Revelations and Renovations Author: mustdang100 Rating: G Archive Warnings: None Completion Status: In Progress Tags: good parent reigen, reigen adopts teru, background serirei, hurt/comfort, adoption, fluff and humor, 5+1 Summary: “I’m really sorry to bother you, but, ah, I don’t suppose that offer to stay at your place for the night was still an option?” Five times Reigen got called a 'dad,' and one time he called himself one - a vignette-style fic on how Teruki grows up and Reigen acquires a family in the days, months, and years following the World Domination arc. My Notes: Teru decides to stay with Reigen after all following the world domination arc, and then never leaves. It’s a super cute and fun fic about found family dynamics between all the main cast, but specifically Reigen and Teru. Teru and Reigen’s banter is well-written and funny, and the whole concept and execution is really charming and fun to ready.

A Real (Psychic) Conman Author: Trinz Rating: T Archive Warnings: None Completion Status: In Progress Tags: esper!reigen, empath!reigen, swearing, reigen centric Summary:  An AU where Reigen actually is the 21st century's greatest psychic- or at least the second, or third, or maybe fourth- the point is that he’s an esper and his "I'm so powerful I can hide my aura" thing is... actually true. My Notes: This is one of my current favorite fics. I read it all over the course of like two days up to its current chapter and I’m in love with the author’s psychic Reigen concept. It follows the canon storyline with some divergence to account for Reigen actually having powers, and really paints him in a different light. It also has an air of mystery with its over-arching plot that, seventeen chapters in, still has only been hinted at, but the real star of the fic is the way a psychically powered Reigen interacts with Mob, Ritsu, and Dimple and the creative ways the author incorporates his powers of telepathy and empathy. Really creative and a super fun long read if you want a longer story!