#happy loving maría hours everybody

[fuckmeyer]

ok Twilight fam time to do what we do best: ignore canon

[dynamightsfave]

My everyday text (2) - Owen Joyner

(gif not mine! credits to owner)

owen joyner x oc

summary: oc goes to a party for halloween and calls owen drunk. he’s worried

warnings: underage drinking (bc rowe’s 20), swears, mentions of sex

a/n: this has a part one that i recommend you read to read this one and a part three that you can decide if you wanna read

masterlist

***

It was a day before Halloween, and I was debating on whether to stay in my apartment dressed up and with a marathon of Halloween movies and a bunch of sweets like I used to do with Mads, or go out with Nora and her now boyfriend and some friends to a college party. Nora was very adamant on the second one.

“I’m just saying, you’ve been very stressed lately and you deserve to let go and go crazy. Get in a hot or cute costume, have fun, get drunk if you want to, maybe meet someone” she gave me a suggestive look and I rolled my eyes “Oh come on, Rowan! You need to get laid!”

“Nora!” I laughed, this time getting her to roll her eyes “I don’t know if I want to meet someone, even if it’s just for a one-night-stand”

“Are you serious?! Rowe, you spent all last year with one-night-stands! Believe me, I know. I have a list”

“No you don’t” I gaped, but Nora only hummed nonchalantly “Why would you have that?!”

“Well, people were coming in and out of here at least three times a week, and I was thinking that maybe I should’ve started to make them pay rent, ‘cause they always ate something from our cupboards. But then I thought that that would technically make you a prostitute, so I decided against it” while I still looked at my friend with a slacked jaw, I found myself not finding it that weird. Conversations like this were normal around here.

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t want a one-night-stand, it feels wrong for some reason”

“Is this because of that boy you talk to on FaceTime?”

“Which one? I talk to Owen, Char and Jer” it was true.

I had talked to all three boys on FaceTime. I didn’t talk to Charlie or Jeremy as much as Owen, but we had still had our times when we’d kick Owen out of his own call and talked with them alone, and I liked to think of them as my new friends too. Other times I’d just hang up on him and call any of the others —that I knew, because apparently there were a lot of people in this secret project I didn’t know about—, and most of the time I talked with them it was just a massive group call of us being stupid. Same thing happened when Jadah joined Madi and I.

“Which one?” Nora asked incredulously “The blond! The one that flirts with you! The guy! You fucking wrote him a song, Rowan!”

“I wrote you a song too. And he can’t flirt for shit”

“But it’s different! You like this boy, there’s deep feelings in that song. Mine is literally about how much you love me because I bring you pizza”

“Okay so maybe I have a crush on Owen!” I admitted “It’s not like I’m gonna do something about it, you know what happened the last time I had a crush on a friend. I don’t want that to happen again”

“Sweetie, you can’t just block romantic feelings for everyone” Nora sat down next to me and placed her hand on my knee “You were bound to fall for someone again, it’s not something you can’t control”

“Yeah, I know” I sighed “Okay, so what kind of costume did you have in mind?”

The blond smiled excitedly and jumped up, running to her closet.

[...] 

“Happy Halloween!” Madison cheered on her side of the screen “What are you gonna do? We’re going to have a party over here, I’m dressing as a devil and Jadah is going as an angel”

“Fitting” I nodded “How much candy have you had?”

“None. But I did have three coffees. Day started early, and I was basically falling asleep while I was standing”

“God, Dee. Anyways, I’m going to a party at a faculty. Nora lent me a black dress and bought me a pair of black feathered wings. Her words were “Rowan, you’re going as a raven”. But just in case, she also bought me some Maleficent horns, because I’ll probably end up losing the wings”

“A party? You going back home with someone?” she arched a brow as she whispered the las sentence, eyeing around her.

“Why does everybody think I’m taking someone home? I’m not!”

“Who’s not taking anyone home after a party?”

“Jeremy! My man! Can you please take my side? Is it really that weird that I’m not having a one-night-stand?”

“He doesn’t count! He doesn’t know how you were last year”

“I don’t, but I’d love to know” he quickly sat down, completely ignoring my offended look.

“You’re such a gossip. You already know about my famous crushes you don’t need to know about my love life status”

“Hey, you told me about them” he pointed his finger accusingly at me.

“But you didn’t stop me! You even made comments about some” I crossed my arms.

“Is it because of Owen that you’re not taking anyone home?” he arched a brow, smirking when he saw my blush and sharing a look with Madi.

“What about you, Jer?” I quickly changed the subject “What’s your love life look like? Girlfriend? Boyfriend?”

“He’s way passed that” Madison smirked “He’s engaged”

“No he’s not!” I gasped as a small smile and a giant blush appeared on the boy’s face “How did I not know that? You’re supposed to brag to everyone about your fiancée, dude. I wanna know about them”

“Her name’s Carolynn” he started, and once he started, there was no stopping.

I ended that call knowing the whole story about how the soon to be husband and wife met, how they had started dating, how wonderful and amazing she was and how happy Jeremy was with her. I couldn’t help the smile on my face as I watched him talk about Carolynn, it was very obvious he was very much in love with her and that he couldn’t wait to be married to her. Madi looked exactly like me, it was impossible not to smile at him.

[...]

“Hello?” I couldn’t quite comprehend the tiredness in the other person’s voice, but then again, I couldn’t quite walk straight “Rowan? You there? Why are you calling me at- four in the morning?”

“Owen! ¡Hola!” my tone was probably too overly cheery and happy, but I could care less in that moment “How are you?”

“Are you okay?” there was shuffling heard from his line, like he was moving on his spot.

“Of course I am! Why wouldn’t I be?” the words came out slurred.

“Are you drunk?” if I had been in a normal state, I would’ve probably identified the disbelief in his voice, but like I’ve pointed out a couple of times now, I wasn’t.

“Just a tiny bit” I neared my thumb and index fingers and narrowed my eyes, ignoring the fact that he couldn’t see me.

“Where are you, Rowes?”

“I’ve been walking around campus for a while now” I giggled “I can’t find my apartment. It’s usually with the residences, but I can’t find those either”

“Okay, uh... Rowan? I need you to listen to me, are you listening to me?” I hummed, nodding my head along “Okay, you know where the apartment is. I need want you to get there, can you do that for me?”

“Of course silly. I’ll do whatever you want” I smirked.

“As much as I like you flirting with me, it’s really not the moment”

“You’re no fun, I’m gonna call Milo. Maybe I can find him around here and we can go somewhere” I frowned and pulled the phone away from my ear, ready to hang up and call the funny tall boy Nora had introduced to me two days before and was now my best friend.

“Wait, wait, wait! Don’t hang up please! I just want you to get home safely. If you need to flirt with me while you do it, you can. I’m just worried”

“Aw, Owen, you’re such a softy. It’s one of the reasons I fell for you” I cooed “Don’t worry, cutie. I’ll get home just fine” and then I hung up.

I ignored all the text messages that popped up in my screen from different people, let all the calls ring and just kept walking. I did eventually get to our little apartment, and fell face first on my bed, not bothering to take my make up or contacts off. I was sleeping within three minutes.

[...]

I woke up the next day with a massive headache, and with a lot of trouble to open my eyes. “Fucking contacts. Fucking party. Fucking Nora. Fucking drinks. Fucking stupid brain.”

My phone rung in that moment, making me groan. I picked it up, answering the call.

“So loud. Cállate. Shut the hell up” I whined at whoever called me.

“You picked up. Oh my God, guys! I have her!” I furrowed my brows as I recognized Jadah’s voice, forcing myself to get up and make my way to the bathroom.

I rummaged the cabinet trying to find a pill for my headache. I placed my phone in speaker as I took my lenses off.

“Rowan María Flores! What the hell were you thinking?!” I knew that voice. That was Mr. Reyes, using his dad tone on me.

“H-Hey, King” I said hesitantly.

“Do not “King” me, señorita. Do you know how worried we all were?”

“What are you talking about?” I asked “I hardly remember anything from last night” I admitted embarrassed “But I just woke up, so it should all be coming back in the next half hour”

“You called Owen drunk, saying you were lost in the campus, Rowan” Charlie spoke, calling me by my name instead of the nickname he was adamant in using “Then you just hung up on him and never picked your phone up again. He woke me up in the middle of the morning worried sick and stressed out”

Guilt washed over me like a waterfall. When had I done that? Why had I done that? “Dammit drunk me”

“We didn’t know what to do, so we called Madi and Mr. Reyes and the others” he continued “We’ve all been trying to call you since. Your phone probably has millions of messages and lost calls”

“Are you okay?” Madison’s voice sounded broken, and all I could do was stutter out a “Yeah”. “Thank God. We were so worried, Ro-Ro”

“I’m so sorry” I whispered “I didn’t want to make you all go through this. Oh my God, what have I done” I ran my hands through my hair, looking down at the sink “Is uh- is Owen there?” I cleared my throat.

“I’m calling you” he stated instead of answering. He didn’t sound happy.

The phone call ended and two minutes later his contact name was requesting a FaceTime. I gulped. I didn’t care in the slightest of my appearance with my messy hair and smudged dark make-up, but I knew how he had been feeling for the past hours, because I had experienced it too with some friends. It was a terrible feeling of being worried for them and slightly panicking, scared because I couldn’t go save them, as I didn’t know where they were. He knew where I had been, but he couldn’t exactly jump on a plane to come save me.

I shakily hit the “Accept” button and breathed in.

“What were you thinking, Rowan?!” he all but exclaimed when he appeared on the screen.

His hair was the messiest I’d seen it —and I’d seen it just out of bed— and he had bloodshot eyes with bags under them. He only had a pair of sweatpants on, like he hadn’t bothered changing at all.

I couldn’t utter a word, my throat had completely closed, and he took it as his cue to continue.

“Do you know how worried we were? How worried I was? You call me at four in the morning, telling me you can’t find your place while you’re drunk, alone, after a party and on Halloween! And then you hang up and you don’t answer anymore! You’ve no idea what kind of scenarios were going through my head! I was this close to hop on a plane to make sure you were okay! Fucking hell, Rowan!”

“I-I’m sorry” I repeated, tears about to spill from my eyes “It’s just, it was Halloween, and I wanted to have fun, release all the stress and forget about the problems, a-and I lost track of how many drinks I was having, and next thing I knew, I was super drunk. I shouldn’t have called you, I only made you worried. God, what was drunk me thinking?”

I shut my eyes closed for a second and let my breath go, hearing him do the same. His voice was softer the next time he talked.

“It’s fine. I mean, it’s not, but I get that you wanted to let loose” he rubbed his face “I shouldn’t have yelled at you, I’m sorry. Shit, it was just so scary, you know? Not knowing what would happen to you”

“I get it” I assured “I’ve been through it too. So I know how it feels, and I can’t believe I made you feel it. I am so stupid”

“Hey, no. Let’s talk about something else. How about you get all that make-up off and freshen up? You look a little dead”

“Hey!” I shouted, only to hold my head and wince “I hope the pill kicks in quickly, otherwise I think I’ll die for real”

I took some cotton pads and my make-up remover, looking at my mirror to make sure I got it all off. I then left the camera to change into comfier clothes and came back to Owen with a sweater on and fiddling with his fingers.

“Rowes?” he called, and I hummed to show him that I was listening “There’s this thing you said yesterday, and I didn’t notice it at first, but I kinda ran over the conversation a million times in my head-”

“Owen, what did I say” I chuckled “It can’t be that bad”

“You said I was a softy” I rolled my eyes, but then he continued “and that it was one of the reasons you fell for me”

My mouth fell into a perfect “o”, and I felt my cheeks and neck get hotter. He was red too, but had a small smile on his lips. I stuttered trying to make out an excuse, but his chuckle cut me off.

“A drunk man’s words are a sober man’s thoughts” he said with a smirk “Or a woman’s in this case. I knew you were crazy for me, Flores” I furrowed my brows at his teasing. Was he really making fun of me for having fallen for him? “Don’t look at me like that, Rowes. I like you too. A lot” he laughed a little “But it’s always me that is left stuttering whenever you flirt with me, so I thought I’d take advantage of it” he shrugged.

“You little shit!” I laughed “I’d kiss you if I could” I grinned, causing his smile to get bigger, if it was possible.

“First thing I’m gonna do when we meet, after squeezing you in a hug”

“Deal. I’ll sing you your song”

“Can’t wait”

“Yeah, me neither”

[...]

PREVIOUS     NEXT

[flintsjohn]

I started thinking of Silver with babies and this happened. It got out of control and is now almost 2k, what can you do.  Silverflintmadi and a baby, but focused on Silver. He’s so insecure, please kill me. I’m so sorry there’s so little of Madi in this it just came out this way. There are also mentions of flinthamiltons. Ife means love in Western African/Yoruba according to this site, but feel free to correct me if that’s wrong. Silver’s mother name is María because I love the idea that he has spanish origins. This is unbeta’d, but I hope you like this! 

***

“You should tell him.” Is the first thing James says when she comes to him.

“What? No. You know he will not take it well. I know he has told you before about his – fears.”

“But he needs to know.” James stresses again, making Madi frown. She’s about to retort something when they are interrupted.

“Tell me what? You two were talking about me, weren’t you?” John is standing on the last step outside of their shared hut, leaning heavily on his crutch. He studies them as they exchange nervous glances.

“What’s going on here?”

“Maybe you should sit down.” James suggests gently. John glares at him and mutters a half-hearted fuck you, but he does as he’s told.

He has barely made himself comfortable on the bed when Madi blurts out, “I’m pregnant.”

She is not one to usually speak this hurriedly, John thinks distractedly as the words register. Then he sputters, “You’re what?”

“I haven’t had my blood in over two months, John.”

“And it’s – mine?” he asks softly. Both Madi and James lift their eyebrows: who else’s could it be?

“Oh.” John hears them move around the room but doesn’t really see them. Someone has sat beside him but he feels like he is a thousand miles away, and he can’t move, can’t breathe, can’t think. A baby. His baby. No, their baby, he corrects himself. He doesn’t know how long he’s in that state, but suddenly he’s cradled in James’s arms and he’s shaking.

“I can’t do this,” he whispers, more to himself than to the other man.

“Of course you can,” James replies anyway, stroking his curls.

“Can’t we pretend it’s yours instead?” John winces as soon as the words leave his mouth. Stupid.

James snorts softly. “Everybody knows about our arrangement by now, darling.”

John frowns again – he only uses the word to humour him, they don’t use endearments for each other.

They’re silent for a few minutes. Then, softly, John asks, “What am I going to do, James?”

James stops petting his hair, looks down at him, smiles. “You’re going to be an amazing father, John.”

***

Madi is screaming in pain, and John feels like he’s going to faint. She’s gone into labour three hours ago and James is the one holding her hand and speaking reassuring words to her.

“You’re too anxious,” she’d told John when they had discussed it. In this moment, he sees what she’d meant.

He’s fretting, pacing back and forth, waiting for something – anything – to change. At one point, the healer almost pushes him out of the hut. Madi’s mother gives him some kind of tea – to calm the nerves, she says. He somehow feels like they are all going to hold this against him in the future.

He collapses on the rocking chair in the corner and is brought out of his dozing state some time later by a gentle hand – James’s, again, like the day Madi had told him of the pregnancy. He has a tiny bundle of blankets in his arms, and John gasps when James carefully passes the baby to him.

“Congratulations, love.” James smiles, and John almost breaks down crying – whether at the word (genuine, for once) or because of the tiny human in his arms, he’s not sure.

The baby is asleep, and John traces a careful finger over its upturned nose, its forehead, and mop of dark hair. He leans down to press a kiss to the top of the baby’s head, inhaling its scent with a badly repressed sob. James has sat down across from him – he looks tired but happy as he watches over them.

“How’s Madi?” John asks eventually. They had to have moved her to the healer’s hut, he thinks, when he was asleep.

“She’s resting, but she’s fine. Her mother is with her.” James pauses, biting his lower lip. “She said that you should think about a name for her.”

John looks up, bewildered, then glances down again. He hasn’t thought about names. Hell, he hasn’t even asked what the baby is. Not that it matters, as long as she is safe and well. God, he thinks. A daughter.

He’s silent for so long that James has to prompt a reply from him.

“I think – Ife. Ife María.” He looks up again, when James makes a soft sound in his throat: why?

“Madi told me once – it’s her grandmother’s name. It means love. And – and my mother’s name.”

James smiles at that. “They’re beautiful, John. Ife María Silver, then?”

John shakes his head so violently that his daughter stirs in his arms. “No. No, that’s – I can’t give her that name. It’s not, I’m not- “

“Alright.” James stops him, kneels in front of him. “Then you won’t. Do you – want to give her your real name?” he asks, hesitation clear in his voice. John shakes his head again.

“I thought, maybe…” He looks at James sheepishly, waits for him to understand. When he does, it’s beautiful. His eyes open wide and a flush colours his cheeks.

“I thought I told you that they all know already,” he mutters.

“Then they will understand. I am yours, as much as I am Madi’s, and you are ours. She is ours. And she deserves a name she can be proud of. Not an invented one, or a discarded one. Not one assigned by some slave merchant. A real one.” John’s voice is confident, determined. His mind is made up.

“McGraw?”

“McGraw.”

They smile stupidly at each other, and James’s hand moves to cup Ife’s head. His eyes are soft, full of love for the new member of their family. John watches him in wonder. A family, a real one. Something he never thought he would have. For a moment, he has to rip his eyes off of the picture James makes with his daughter.

When he talks, James startles. He’s been lost in his own thoughts, John knows.

“I’m scared, James. I can’t – I don’t want to be like him.”

A pause. Then, “Him?”

“My father.”

James rises, settles on the bed again. “I thought you didn’t have a father.”

John shrugs. Orphan, that’s the lie he’s always told. “Better to say that than that the man that should have cared for me used me as a practice target for his knife-throwing, that he blamed me for my mother’s death even if he’d never loved her, that he used me and threw me in the street like I was nothing more than some rubbish that someone would eventually collect.”

He stops. He’s out of breath. In front of him, James is staring. He’s never revealed this much about himself to him, and now it’s all out there. He can’t take it back. He doesn’t want to.

“You won’t be like him,” James say, eventually.

“You cannot know that.”

“Yes. Yes, I can.” James waits for him to lift his head again and meets his eyes before he continues, “Because you care, John. You love and you worry and you protect. It’s what you do. And if you feel like you can’t – I’m here. Madi is here. We are not leaving.”

James is careful to pronounce every word so that he is certain that John has understood their message. In the rocking chair, Ife pressed to his chest, John cries as he smiles at the man he loves.

***

Raising a child is not easy. John hadn’t thought it would be. Raising a child with two other parents – and a grandmother, and a pirate crew, and an entire village – is, admittedly, far harder than John had expected.

In the two years Ife’s been alive, John can’t count the number of heart attacks he has had because she was suddenly gone from where he had put her down, only for her to appear minutes later in the arms of anybody around the maroon camp.

Don’t get him wrong, he loves the fact that everybody adores his daughter and would instantly die for her, but he also wishes people would just tell him when they want to spend time with her. He’s her father after all.

Father. John is still bewildered sometimes to think of himself as one. In these two years, he has made mistakes. He will make more, in the years to come. And yet, he has also learned so much from his daughter. Love. Happiness. Calm.

Calm, what he’s not feeling right now. Ife is gone from their hut – again, might he add. He has already checked the village’s square and the queen’s hut, where Madi is holding council with her mother. He’s now rounding back to their own house, his breath short and laboured. He sees James on the porch.

“James! Where’s- “

“Papa!” A voice squeaks, and John sighs in relief.

“Oh, thank God,” he mutters, climbing the few steps. Ife steps into his open arms immediately, closing her chubby little hands around his curls, so similar to her own.

“What were you two doing?” he asks as he moves Ife to rest on his hip so he can see James. The man shrugs, holds up a book. He doesn’t say anything.

“Are you alright?” John prompts, sitting down next to him on the bench.

“Sure.”

“James.”

He waits in silence, letting Ife play with his hair. He winces when she pulls with too much strength.

“It’s –“ James starts, pauses at once, takes a deep breath. “She looks so much like you. Every day more. Like both of you.”

John quirks an eyebrow at him, but stays silent.

“I love her like my own, you know that. Only – sometimes I wish I could –“

“You want one?” John asks, surprise colouring his tone. James has never expressed the wish before, content to raise Ife with them, but John is sure-

“That’s not what I meant.”

John looks at him for a few seconds. Then – “Oh. With – You mean with them.”

He watches as James nods, and feels a pang of guilt in his chest. Thomas and Miranda. Of course. Their presence still lingers with them, every day, he knows. He would never ask James to let them go. He thinks it’s only fair, that they are finally discussing this.

“Did you ever…?”

“No. Miranda – She couldn’t. They had tried, I think, before – She told me she had accepted it.”

“And did you?”

John watches James swallow and close his eyes. He does that, sometimes – gets lost in his own head with memories of times long gone. John shifts Ife in his lap so he can reach to take James’s hand in his. He feels him squeeze it back after a minute.

“I think Ife helped,” James admits eventually.

John knows the pain won’t leave him. He knows James will be left wondering about what could have been for the rest of his life. What he can do, if not bring Miranda and Thomas back to him, is make him feel like he is every bit part of this family.

They don’t talk much, after James’s words. They watch Ife play at their feet, where John has left her free to roam the porch. Madi joins them some time later, free of her duties, and takes her place between them.

John watches as Madi coaxes James out of his own mind again like not even he is able to do. He watches his family laugh, and can’t believe the luck he has. He can’t believe her has ever even considered giving this up, this little world of their own.

[firstfootingscotland]

International Dance Day, Dannsa, and Art of Treepling Full Program!!

Greetings from Edinburgh and happy International Dance Day! Though initiated in honour of the birthday of French balletmaster Jean-Georges Noverre (1727 -1810), widely considered to be the instigator of the narrative ballets of the 18th century, International Dance Day now celebrates dances from all times (past, present, and yet to be!), all geographies, all abilities, and all ethnicities. After all, Joann Kealinohomoku reminds us in her classic piece of dance research, “An Anthropologist Looks at Ballet as a Form of Ethnic Dance,” just how ‘ethnic’ ballet is. Disputing the notion that ballet is somehow ‘universal,’ Kealinohomoku argues that ballet, like all movement forms, is couched in (especially European) cultural practices. She writes: 

“Consider, for example, how Western is the tradition of the proscenium stage, the usual three part performance which lasts for about two hours, our star system, our use of curtain calls and applause, and our usage of French terminology. Think how culturally revealing it is to see the stylized Western customs enacted on the stage, such as the mannerisms from the age of chivalry, courting, weddings, christenings, burial, and mourning customs. Think how our [sic] world view is revealed in the oft recurring themes of unrequited love, sorcery, self-sacrifice through long suffering, mistaken identity, and misunderstandings which have tragic consequences” (1)

Though I would critique the piece especially in its uncritical use of the term “ethnic” to refer to indigenous or non-Western dance forms, “An Anthropologist Looks at Ballet as a Form of Ethnic Dance” reminds that we all have cultural biases that colour our experience of movement. This is known in anthropology as “ethnocentrism.” (2) The article encourages us to be aware of our own biases and also levels the poetic playing-field of dance analysis. Kealinohomoku suggests puckishly that all dance forms - not just those on the concert stage - should have equal opportunity to be celebrated, examined, and supported.

In that spirit, each year on International Dance Day, a dancer is invited to write a message to the international community of dancers and dance-lovers. I’ve been combing through these messages today, nourished by some delicious quotes. There’s the 2012 message from Sidi Larbi Cherkaoui: “I think of dance as the most current, the most up-to-date history lesson, as it is in a constant relationship with its most recent past and can only happen in the present.” Trisha Brown’s in 2017: “Dance is made of people, people and ideas...there is no secret meaning in my dances.” And Anne Teresa De Keersmaeker’s in 2011: “For me dancing is a way of thinking. Through dance we can embody the most abstract ideas and thus reveal what we cannot see, what we cannot name.” However, my favourite International Dance Day message comes from fellow percussive dancer Israel Galván, delivered in 2015. Galván writes eloquently about dance at-large but also brings into the conversation his own heroes from Spanish Flamenco and other dancers from traditions which might not usually have a place on the proverbial castlist of dance writ-large. I’ve excerpted his message here:

I danced my first duo with my mother, seven months pregnant. It may seem an exaggeration. Although I almost always dance alone, I imagine that I am accompanied by ghosts which make me abandon my role of "dancer of solitudes". Did Didi-Huberman not mean to say: of soleares songs.

I like the word fusion, not as a marketing word, a confusion to sell a certain style, a brand. Better fission, an atomic mixture: a cocktail with the feet fixed to the ground of Juan Belmonte, the aerial arms of Isadora Duncan and the half swaying belly of Jeff Cohen in the Goonies. And with all these ingredients to make a pleasant and intense drink, which is delicious or bitter or which goes to your head. Our tradition is also that mixture, we come from a cocktail and the orthodox people want to hide their secret formula. But no, races and religions and political creeds, everything mixes! Everybody can dance together! Maybe not holding onto each other, but by each other's side.

There is an old Chinese proverb which says: "the flutter of a butterfly's wings can be felt across the world". When a fly takes flight in Japan, a typhoon shakes up the water of the Caribbean. Pedro G Romero, after a shattering sevillanas dance says: the same day the bomb fell in Hiroshima, Nijinsky repeated his great leap in a forest in Austria. And I continue imagining: a lash of Savion Glover makes Mikhail Baryshnikov turn. At that moment, Kazuo Ono stays still and triggers a certain electricity in María Muñoz, who thinks about Vonrad Veidt and forces Akram Khan to cause an earthquake in his dressing room; they move their rattles and the floor becomes covered with the tired drops of their sweat.

(Isreal Galván at the London Flamenco Festival in 2011)

I had the pleasure of watching this video of Israel Galván dancing during this past week in Kingussie during a five-day step dance development session with Scottish traditional dance company Dannsa. After spending the mornings and afternoons working in the stunning Talla Nan Ross hall improvising, talking about the connections between dance and music (as well as dance as music) and expanding the dancers’ vocabularies through traditional percussive dance repertoire from many different geographies, we often gathered at the dancers’ homes in the evenings to watch videos of our favourite movers. Curled up on the floor of Sandra Robertson’s house between Sandra and Caroline Reagh, we marvelled together at Israel’s incredibly idiosyncratic physicality, his articulation, and amazing integration of body movement and impeccable feet. It was a wondrously enjoyable week with these two astonishingly beautiful Scottish dance artists, and it was made all the more special because I first saw Israel Galván’s work in much the same way, gazing awed into a laptop in the home of contemporary Irish dancer Colin Dunne. 

(Working with Dannsa’s masterful movers Sandra Robertson and Caroline Reagh last week at Talla Nan Ross, Kingussie)

This style of pedagogy - a mentor sharing the work of other artists that they find personally inspiring is something I first experienced with my teachers. I’m very pleased to announce that two of whom, Colin Dunne and Sandy Silva will be visiting Edinburgh soon as part of the Art of Treepling weekend June 7-9! Michelle Brady, Wendy Timmons and I have been working since the autumn to put together this very special weekend of percussive dance workshops, work-in-progress sharing, panel discussions, dance film screenings, and performances to culminate the First Footing Dance Residency. I am delighted to say that the full program is now LIVE! Here are the details, it would be wonderful to see you, and dance with you, there! 

Nic Gareiss: The Art of Treepling - Work-in-Progress Showing

7 June, 7:30 pm, St. Cecilia’s Hall, 50 Niddry Street

In the final chapter of dance collectors Joan and Tom Flett’s 1964 book Traditional Dancing in Scotland, the authors make reference to “the art of treepling.” At the time of the text’s publication, treepling, “beating out the rhythm of the music with the feet,” was one of the lesser-known features of Scottish dancing and had almost entirelydisappeared. (Flett & Flett, 1964, p. 260) This new solo step dance work-in-progress engages the Flett’s original research, re-imagining treepling as a locus of creative interpretation of traditional music & dance in Scotland and other geographies in which treepling is found, including Ireland, Canada, and the Appalachian region of the United States. Followed by Q&A with invited guests.

Masterclass with Sandy Silva

8 June, 10 am, St. Leonard’s Land Dance Studio, Holyrood Road

This masterclass is for dancers working in traditional forms of foot percussion who want to develop a deeper sense of movement flow and sonic placement within the hands and feet. We will accompany ourselves singing a vocal turlutte (melodic syllables) integrating the full body music experience. Dancers are expected to have some percussive dance experience.

Masterclass with Colin Dunne

8 June, 11:30 am, St. Leonard’s Land Dance Studio, Holyrood Road

In this masterclass, Colin will draw upon his unique approach to traditional Irish dance, focusing on release of muscular tension to find a flow, rhythm and clarity in both movement and sound. Dancers should have some percussive dance experience.

Playing with Dance: Masterclass with Nic Gareiss for Traditional Musicians

8 June, 2 pm, St. Leonard’s Land Dance Studio, Holyrood Road

This workshop for traditional musicians explores the relationship between music and dance. After trying out a little foot music, participants will play with percussive dancer and artist-in-residence Nic Gareiss, sparking conversations around collaboration, listening, and creative connection. Musicians should be able to play a tune at moderate speed. The class will encourage musicians to explore creative collaboration in a safe, non-competitive environment. Participants should come ready to move and wear smooth-soled shoes with a low heel.

The Art of Treepling Panel Discussions

8 June, 3:30 pm, Scottish Storytelling Centre, Netherbow Theatre, 43-45 High Street

Part 1: Imagining New Futures for Scottish Step Dance

The resurgence of interest of step dance in Scotland in the late 20th century was encouraged in-part by inspirational teaching visits by dancers abroad (Melin 2005, passim). Since then, step dancers in Scotland have continued teaching, performing and reimaging percussive dance as a rich cultural locus of music-making, creativity, identity and community-building. This panel aims to spark conversation around fostering continued rich, diverse and innovative step dancing in Scotland across many contexts.

Part 2: Developing New Solo Step Dance Work: A Conversation with ColinDunne & Nic Gareiss

Contemporary traditional dance artists Colin Dunne and Nic Gareiss discuss the process, pleasures, and pitfalls of developing their new solo step dance works including Colin’s critically-acclaimed shows Out of Time and Concert and Nic’s show Solo Square Dance and work-in-progress The Art of Treepling.

Migration Dance Film Project Screening

8 June, 7 pm, Scottish Storytelling Centre, Netherbow Theatre, 43-45 High Street

Migration Dance Film Project is a series of interconnected short films exploring themes of migration. Award-winning team, filmmaker Marlene Millar and choreographer Sandy Silvacombine nuanced image, sound dynamics and the intricacy of percussive dance to shape an emotional cinematographic storyline that gives voice, image and movement to past and present transformative journeys. Followed by Q&A with Choreographer Sandy Silva and Director Marlene Millar

Masterclass with Nic Gareiss

8 June, 11 am, St. Leonard’s Land Dance Studio, Holyrood Road

This masterclass for dancers with percussive dance experience (tap, flamenco, step dance, clogging, etc.) is designed to enrich percussive dance practice and give participants tools to improve articulation, phrasing and technique. Using an intersectional approach, attendees will be guided through a series of exercises drawing on a myriad of rhythm-making step and clog dance styles and their symbioticrelationship with, and as, music, enriching audible rapport with the floor through creativity and improvisation.

Treepling in Performance: Sandy Silva, Colin Dunne & Nic Gareiss

9 June, 2 pm, Venue TBC

This culminating performance will feature solos, improvisations and spontaneous collaborations by three masters of contemporary percussive dance. The audience is encouraged to move about the space to observe from many angles as Silva, Dunne and Gareiss synesthetically combine movement and sound, dance and music, treepling through their feet, hands and voices. 

First Footing is a collaboration between dancer and dance researcher Nic Gareiss, the Traditional Dance Forum of Scotland, University of Edinburgh Moray House School of Education, and the School of Scottish Studies with support from Creative Scotland. For engagement opportunities check out the First Footing website.

(1) Joann Kealinohomoku, 1970 

(2) For more on this, see Theresa Buckland’s 1999 response “All Dances Are Ethnic but Some Are More Ethnic Than Others.” 

[ecojourneys-blog]

A trip to Charco Azul

A distant thudding sound emanates from afar, like the steady rumble of a drum roll, agentle murmuring sound like the water of a shallow stream flowing over stones. I spy a gem-blue stream in the forest. As I follow it, leading closer and closer to the intensified murmuring, I stumble upon what seems to look like a pond. Beneath the warming sun and a cool breeze on a summer's day, kids and gringos jump for joy, smiling at the sun and accepting its warmth without a worry or care. This place seems to be the heart of commodity and self-love, a sweet melody reigns in the atmosphere. Is this simply just a natural swimming pool, that people call Charco Azul? No, this pond speaks the tongues of those who came before us, rocks just beside the pond resemble taíno hieroglyphics. The engraved rocks illustrate symbols of cemís, suns, coquíes and turtles. Are they man made? Are they taíno made? Perhaps it’s better toassume they are, it makes everything so much more magical.

This place is the embodiment of inner peace and beauty.  Deep peace of the flowing air to us. Deep peace of the gentle earth to you. Deep peace of the bright blue sky to me. Deep peace of the gentle breeze to everyone. The wind whistles past my ears. I close my eyes and sink into the water. Time stops, the serenity I feel here just soothes my mind. A peaceful day so hard to find, has finally been found. As usual I sit and wonder where life will go and take me, even though all I want is for time to slow in order to enjoy this moment and feel free, to clear my mind and find some glee.              This pond may not seem like much, but when I come my life is bliss. So many days in which my happiness was missed, have been found in the depths of this pond. Listening to the birds and watching how the clouds behave. Swirls are drawn into the surface; I can see the ripples that small fish form when they pass by. Oh! the wondrous beauty Puerto Rico has bestowed. Listening to nature’s orchestral opus, sounds of the whispering trees and the burbling streams surrounding the pond, send my mind to wander the depths of my subconscious.

As I contemplate my surroundings its surprising how much the place has changed, since I last came about three years ago. It is eminently manifested in the area that a natural disaster passed by. Hurricane María left significant vestiges here. What once was a camping area with decent bathrooms, picnic areas, a rain shelter, a few BBQ areas and nicely paved walk in the woods is now a huge decimated mess. When I arrived the first thing I saw was the entrance sign all torn up on the floor, the bathroom’s ceiling was torn up in half, the tables all broken and twisted. Sadness filled my heart at first when I saw how messed up the area was. Before getting there it took us a little while because of the narrowness of the road, due to the fact that the road is falling/ eroding off. The path to the place was relatively clear. We had to go off the regular path to make our way to the natural pool. Trash cans were thrown alongside the route.

Nonetheless, what really matters is that the “charco”, my little blue piece of heaven is okay. It is not as blue as usual mainly because it had rained a lot before I got there. I bathed in the charco for about an hour until…

Suddenly, I can hear reggaeton from afar. Peace has been disrupted. People invade my sacred natural swimming hole with their loud music and profane language. Tattooed women with “dubis” and men with beer bellies drinking “medalla” come into the scene. As soon as they settle, they leave their trash trail along the sides of the pond. How inconsiderate of them to come and pollute such a beautiful place with their noise and trash. Why don’t they enjoy the beauty and the peace of it all, just like the rest of us who were here first? Bratty kids splash water onto my face and one even kicks me by accident. What is this I see? The adults are smoking weed and behaving recklessly in front of their children. Crazy how parenting is these days!

In contrast with the tourists whose tones of voice are much blander, these Puerto Ricans are really something. No wonder these kids behave so badly.

Every time I go to touristic areas I can’t help to think about how American culture can be so bland and monotonous, mostly because of the way most tourists speak as if they had no emotion. Then again, it’s probably just me… I’m just so used to the ruckus Puerto Ricans make and speak because of our “untamable wild tongues”, as Gloría Anzaldúa describes in How to tame a Wild Tongue. Even though, a lot of Puerto Ricans can get annoying after a while of hearing them talk nonstop, I can’t bear to think how awful it would be to be a part of such a boring culture. I can’t imagine how Christmas must be for them, only two days of celebration basically. Our Christmas is much jollier in contrast, we celebrate and EAT since November up until late January. Also, I couldn’t help but observe the food the tourists were eating. As I usually see Americans always eat burgers for some reason or some other type of junk food, yet another downside of their culture.

Finally, I can’t handle the annoyingness the “cafre” invaders brought upon the area. I quickly decide to leave my little paradise, until next time. Leaving the charco each time I go gives me this bittersweet feeling in which I always feel nostalgic mainly because it reminds me of my childhood and how happy I used to be. Sometimes I can also feel a little sad because I’ll miss the place. Even though, this whole process of overthinking my future, when I’m supposed to feel at peace, is overwhelming…I mostly feel accomplished when I leave the place because it’s good to separate some time for yourself to think about your goals, what’s good for you and to analyze if what you’re doing currently in your life contributes to a healthy mental state of mind. It’s important for everybody to always separate some time for themselves from time to time. Life is a constant rush and it can get really overwhelming. Nonetheless, always put your mental health first above all other things. What a better place to take a break at, than in Charco Azul in Patillas!

[fuckmeyer]

the way María gets two random white girls to go to war for her & for a country they likely never stepped foot in. the way María gets some racist white boy to serve as her soldier for 100+ years even after taking his life. iconic!!! y'all out here celebrating hot girl summers meanwhile María's in her hot girl century. KEEP UP!!!

[fuckmeyer]

This is gonna be LONG but I stalk ur blog now. I’ve read ur tags, and I’ve come back for more, Maria discussions, Maria headcanons, and Maria love… Jasper can come along too ig, only because he worshiped the ground she walked on. (His words not mine lol.) Anyways, it’s loving Maria hourz.

I wanna talk about the strikethrough because YES! Maria totally didn’t expect to develop feelings for Jasper down the line but she did. They ARE lovers! I don’t give a damn what Meyer says! I don’t care about all the “Mate” stuff because none of that holds up when you really look at what we are shown instead of told. Their actions portray that of two people who have love for each other and it’s so ridiculous to me that some ppl try so hard to deny that when it’s obvious. It’s honestly so much more realistic and interesting to have them be lovers, and damn what the deniers say! They’re just mad and uncomfortable bc they think Maria will be a threat to their ship but she’s just existing and minding her business lol. Maria deserves to have love and be loved. Latinas in general deserve to be love interests and not just “evil brown seductress”. *eye roll*.

They’re obviously into each other. It’s the only thing that explains their weakness for each other. They’re both known as people who are willing to kill anything that threatens them… except for each other lol.

They spent a few years paranoid around each other knowing they were “planning” to kill, and both parties could have easily done so… they never did the deed and now I lowkey believe they weren’t even that serious about it lol, they were both on edge and probably just trying to scare each other away bc they’re dumb and can’t handle their feelings.

Ppl claim Jasper left so quickly when Peter and Charlotte came back for him bc he was just so miserable and all that, but I think another reason Jasper left so quickly is because he really didn’t want to have to face the possibility of killing Maria and/or he simply couldn’t handle this new sour relationship with her when it was never like that between them before. They were each others closest companion. She’s the reason he stayed so long because he loved her, and being around her… her confidence, ambition, brightness, genius, vibes, and mind-blowing sex was his getaway from everything else and was his only source of goodness when they were both surrounded by war and destruction.

I highly doubt he would have stayed so long if Maria was just so mean, bitterly angry, disrespectful, and violent towards him the way some ppl try to characterize her. To me, logically speaking, Maria is and would have to be hella charming, charismatic, bubbly, hospitable/warm in a scarily insane way for her to have so many followers who are not only afraid of her but are also blindly devoted to her, especially when one of them is an emotion detecting/manipulating empath. If she’s this hugely manipulative person as they say why would she be ruthlessly angry and bitter towards everyone?? Why would anyone follow her?? She wouldn’t have been as successful with & without Jasper if she was just stone cold evil all the time. I think she breathes life into everything she does (even war and destruction lol) because that’s just who she is.

We later find out that Jasper was actually Relieved that he didn’t have to kill her. Imagine that lol. Peter suggested they go back and do so… Jasper said No. He just didn’t want revenge against her and vampires are like, known for revenge in their universe. Like what’s the explanation for Jasper:

1. Being so willing to protect Maria, even from himself.

2. Being relieved he didn’t have to kill her.

3. Rejecting his friend Peter’s suggestion to go back and kill her.

4. STILL not killing her later when she found him in Calgary and ultimately “forced” them to move (still don’t know how), theoretically putting his new family and Alice in danger… He was ready to kill Bella for the slightest hint of danger that she brought, but Maria??? No, she must be spared, she’s just a baby lol.

5. Still being kind/thoughtful enough to wish her well, even telling his friend Peter to relay that message to her if he sees her because it’s THAT important apparently and not just a passing thought to keep to himself…

A lot of ppl like to say Jasper was “saved from Maria”. But not only was Peter okay with Jasper’s rejection to killing her, he was also okay with him asking to tell her he wishes her well, even when they both knew how unlikely it was they’ll run into her. If Peter saved Jasper from Maria why are they so chill with her now? Why not actually go seek revenge? Peter saved Jasper from War and Destruction. Not Maria. Because Maria wasn’t really the core problem like some ppl make her out to be. It was their surroundings.

She’s lowkey still considered a friend. Jasper is so okay with her existence that he’s even thinking of seeing her again to ask for help. Like he’s such a big ass softie for her, even in times when you’d think he wouldn’t be and she’s not his lover??? Make it make sense please!!! Like I said, no man is doing ALL THAT for a woman he doesn’t love. If going to literal war for a woman for nearly a century isn’t enough evidence then this should be… That man loved her (and probably still does) and whoever disagrees is blind.

More: Ppl seem to believe that Maria didn’t care at all about Jasper and had no romantic feelings for him but she literally treats Jasper with the same caution and softness that he does. They’re BOTH weird asf when it comes to each other.

Maria is seen as this ruthless, unfeeling demon… but she had a whole family and a lover before, so obviously that means she’s capable of feeling love and she’s also loveable. Allegedly she’s an evil person who doesn’t care about anyone and will hunt you down and yet, not only did she let Peter and Charlotte go. She let Jasper go too. She put Jasper in charge and trusted him with things I’m sure she used to handle herself.

When Lucy & Nettie betrayed her, I think she became closer to Jasper considering he was the one who warned her and they took them out together. They protected each other on and off the battlefield. When their relationship soured she still couldn’t kill him even tho it was her army, she trained him, and it could have been done without much effort on her part… now if she was this evil unfeeling devil, she would have. But she didn’t. She’s a ruthless warlord who has killed for less, she didn’t trust him at the time and she believed that he was thinking of betrayal like Nettie & Lucy so she had a STRONG motive to get rid of him, and she just waits for a couple of years with only a hanging threat of killing him??? She didn’t really want to kill him and it shows. She didn’t wait that long to kill Lucy & Nettie lol. If she truly didn’t care about him she would have easily and quickly gotten rid of him at the first thought of betrayal. She wouldn’t have waited those few years and if he did manage to escape. She would have found him much sooner and killed him.

Speaking of finding him, why did she even care enough to look him up years later, and decide to visit anyway? (For the record: I don’t believe Maria initially came to kill or cause trouble bc why would she? If that’s the case she wouldn’t have come alone for a whole coven of vamps. She’s too smart and good at survival for that) If Maria is this uncaring person, why would she care enough about someone that is supposedly “disposable” to her??? Probably because he meant more to her than she’d care to admit. I can only imagine/headcanon how badly she was AT WAR with herself over that too. Especially considering how she previously lost her “mate”. I have so many headcanons about how she handled her feelings for Jasper when she finally realized and bbygirl was going thru it! Lol.

Because lbr, she may not have had strong feelings for him in the beginning but she definitely developed feelings for him after all that they went through together. That’s literally the only explanation for her actions with him. We are told she’s more ruthless/dangerous than Jasper yet she’s literally let him get away with so much and still thinks about him and she’s CONFLICTED about it! Which is gonna be yet ANOTHER conversation that I’m totally gonna return to your inbox for lol. I love angst, love, and complicated things between these dumbasses who clearly have unresolved feelings for each other. They are SO interesting and their story is so powerful. Like imagine what JasperxMariaxTherapy would look like. 😭

TLDR: Maria was the one that got away and Jasper is not over her.

👏Latinas in general deserve to be love interests and not just “evil brown seductresses.”👏

María & Jasper were mates! to quote a wise bestie (i.e. you):

no man is doing ALL THAT for a woman he doesn’t love. If going to literal war for a woman for nearly a century isn’t enough evidence then this should be…

to me the whole "lost her mate" & the "never treated him as an equal or thought of him as her mate" biz was thrown into the guide just to make her look like a non-option for Jasper. canon paints a different picture. vampires mate for life, but nowhere does it say they can only have one mate. you never "get over" your mate... but you can always make room in your heart for more love. (RIP Marcus but girl you gotta get outta the house). & that's what María did without realizing it! girl is so traumatized & focused on war, she probs fell in love & didn't even notice. then when she did she got scared of her feelings & tried to run lmao stupid baby i love her sm

The Saga of María & The Major

if i had to guess the progression of their relationship (PASS ME THE MIC LMAO) i'd say it went roughly like:

María turns Jasper

he impresses her w/ his gift & his military expertise. he wins. they celebrate. she rewards him with responsibility. he loves that he's serving a purpose & loves feeling needed. she loves that he makes her feel accomplished & in control

more wins. more victories. he's her major. she's his queen. they're in love with victory & bloodshed & war. they're toxic, they're powerful, they're young gods, they're partners. always late-night strategy seshs & early-morning briefings. always on the same page in combat. they break off & do solo missions together. they only hunt with each other. this is a v normal relationship

they get to know each other (of COURSE María is warm & bubbly & charming; she may be a warlord but she's a leader first) & find out they had similar thoughts & values in life. they hated the upheaval of their lives caused by invaders (ok Jasper), they hated feeling like losers in war, they are very driven & goal-oriented. flirting is involved?? wow, is this friendship??? (no, this is patrick)

there's a romantic spark. Jasper feels it. he knows she feels it but wonders if she knows it ykwim? it feels amazing but he keeps it to himself. then one night (late night hehe) María accuses him of using his gift to make her attracted to him. oop. girl OUTS HERSELF as having a crush on Jasper &, even after he insists he never used his gift to make her feel things (true), GETS MAD at herself for having feelings & kicks him out. goodbye loser. except...

she hates having a crush! she cannot stop thinking about him & he knows it! she feels like she's replacing her mate! she can't concentrate around him! he's her major & it's inappropriate! he can taste her attraction all the time! why is he the only one who gets to taste! she wants to taste him!

THEY FUCK

also they kiss

a lot

they sneak around & keep things buttoned up on the battlefield. HOT. we love a forbidden romance

María gets scared of the intimacy bc she's María (feelings? no entiendo). which is around when she finds out what the Civil War was really about. ew. he's basically a colonizer. she thought they had similar experience vis-a-vis war but he's a colonizer? ew.

she's disgusted. she feels like a fool. she's angry at herself for still having feelings for him. she feels oddly like a hypocrite considering she purges all these newborns. she maintains a professional relationship. cold. distant. he hates it. he reaches out. several times. says he wants to understand. ok

[you want to understand? here's all this rage & pain & grief over what the white men did to me & what Benito stole from me & this is how i felt when i was displaced from my home & my family whom i loved more than a lot of things & people who are NOT YOU; keep telling yourself we're "so similar" bc you lost your "way of life" & bc you also had to witness the deaths of your friends & family whom you loved more than...other people you may (have) love(d). p.s. fuck you (metaphorically) p.p.s. next time it's on sight.] she's a professional & he will never understand. get back to work. GOODBYE LOSER x2

except... she depends on him too much. vice-versa. they're partners. they're toxic. they can't untangle. the war effort suffers. he's desperate to win her back. things are weird.

then one day he finds out Nettie & Lucy plan to kill her. fuck. now she needs to kill her covenmates. too old for the bullshit. Jasper offers to help. she takes it. grudgingly. she's DISTRAUGHT but so traumatized she's doing what she does best & closing herself off from the pain.

except Jasper knows better. after the deed is done & she retires to her chambers he goes in with her. & as soon as he starts prodding she cracks & unleashes all this pent up emotion. this is a whole different María. Jasper has never felt such deep emotion ever. or so many emotions at once. how does so much emotion fit into such a smol lady??? science is still uncovering the phenomenon

& underneath all that pain & anguish & exhaustion & fear & hate & disgust, Jasper feels love. raw, aching love. for her family. for her past. for her country. for her life. for him. he will drown in her before morning. sometimes you just gotta hold a girl & cry with her

OHP THEY FUCK PT. 2 ELECTRIC FUCKAROO

WOW actually openly being in love engaging with your emotions is kinda rad (& scary). María can really reflect on her life & herself. like maybe this war isn't the end all be all? maybe there's more to this life than revenge? maybe for the first time she can see her future on the horizon? maybe saving Mexico is futile bc war is never-ending, & maybe if she didn't spend all this energy killing she could spend more energy loving...

& maybe Jasper feels that way too. maybe that's why he's depressed. maybe he's just as tired as she is. maybe he's losing his mind over all this death. maybe he feels trapped. maybe he resents her. maybe he hates her. maybe he's plotting to kill her. maybe she should kill him before he kills her because even if he didn't kill her he would definitely kill her just by killing her because she loves likes loves him & she can't let him go even though he wants her to which is why he's going to—

oh.

jasper left.

she won't need to kill him after all. jasper left. he didn't want to kill her. he just wanted to leave her. alone. so he left.

jasper is gone.

...oh.

***

The Calgary Incident

Speaking of finding him, why did she care enough to look him up years later, and decide to visit anyway? (For the record: I don’t believe Maria initially came to kill or cause trouble bc why would she? If that’s the case she wouldn’t have come alone for a whole coven of vamps. She’s too smart and good at survival for that)

first: let's acknowledge the fact that the Cullens weren't able to detect María until the last second & that a coven of seven with THREE (3) gifted vampires was too scared to take on one (1) María. QUEEN

second: María DEF wasn't there to harm them bc 1) wtf does María care about Canadian territory? 2) if the Cullens were her enemies they would already be dead.

she's there for Jasper. probably not to ask him for advice/help. she got by fine without him. María being María she's also not going to come to him like "i'm still in love with you."

that said, she IS a ride or die. if she thought Jasper was in exceptional danger she would warn him. the Volturi likely have their eye on María & (for other reasons) the Cullens, & she got wind of it. she was looking out for him, & maybe even hoping for better diplomatic relations Just In Case. even if the Cullens naïvely believed their happy little (powerful) family wasn't being watched, María knows better. she's careful, calculated, & she knows the Volturi will make trouble for the Cullens (& by extension her) in the future.

Jasper is also a ride or die. & him telling her to "keep her distance" is to protect HER. not him. not Alice. not the Cullens. bc he knows "keep your distance" as a threat/warning is pointless. girl will do whatever the hell she wants. but he also knows she put herself in a vulnerable position to find them. he knows if the Volturi weren't watching her then, they certainly are now that she has visited the up-and-coming Cullen coven. "keep your distance" is akin to him saying "take care of yourself."

this, & "tell her i wish her well," is the closest they will get to saying "i still love you."

but they don't have to say it. they already know.