#hasn't even caused the trojan war yet

[devotion-between-the-wheat]

nightbringer!asmo is fantastic but he does lose some attractiveness points because he's clearly hasn't given into the bloodlust yet.

[pelideswhore]

consider this post a submission for the 30 day hc's that @godsofhumanity makes. i can finally join because i finally have enough to say about the deity :D (editing eden: okay maybe i had too much to say)

Prometheus

PART I | PART II

appearance-wise, Prometheus is relatively unassuming. he's as average as you can get when you're literally a god. dark brown to black hair, brown eyes, not particularly tall or muscular, but he is very charming, which makes him attractive

before the Titanomachy, Prometheus was very lowkey. he had tons of cousins and siblings, chaos reigned and he knew better than to draw attention to himself, so the higher-ups (aka Kronos and Rhea) never really noticed him

Prometheus is, as his older brother, very protective of Epimetheus. he only really had that sibling-bond with him, not with atlas or anything. Epimetheus often got himself in a lot of trouble by not thinking things through and at first Prometheus used to be annoyed by Epimetheus for making dumb decisions, but he eventually grew to love him. instead of scolding him for those decisions, he started giving him advice and genuinely wishing the best for him

that's why, when the Titanomachy started, Prometheus' first instinct was to make sure Epimetheus was safe

towards the start of the war, he stayed lowkey, but once he had sussed out the vibe and was sure the Olympians would win, he took the chance and dragged Epimetheus to Olympus

Zeus was suspicious to begin with, but Prometheus was able to convince him with his charm and cunning manipulation. at the start, Prometheus was really only using Zeus so he and his brother would be safe (kinda like my idea of odysseus x penelope but thats a story for another day) but after a while he actually grew to like him

just generally, odysseus and prometheus are similar. Prometheus helped win the Titanomachy the same way Odysseus helped win the Trojan War

from then on, Zeus and Prometheus were inseparable. everything they did, they would do together. they spent the equivalent of their 20s just causing bullshit everywhere, even tho that's not typical for prometheus

fast forward, post-titanomachy: Zeus is now king of, well, everything and it's a lot for a young guy who wasn't even raised royal and really just wants to have fun. he hasn't married Hera yet, and Prometheus is his only escape, the only person with whom he can really let loose and not be king, just some guy for a moment

i have been totally neglecting epimetheus since i brought up zeus, and while, yes, i do think epimetheus might have faded into the background when prometheus befriended zeus, he was still very important, and their relationship didnt change

while Zeus was still just looking to relax with Prometheus, Prometheus himself had matured even more. he was probably given the role of Zeus' royal advisor or something and took it very seriously

Zeus asked Prometheus to create mankind more or less as a joke, 'for old time's sake', something to lighten up the mood and their relationship. he didn't expect Prometheus to take it so seriously, but Prometheus did.

after humans were created, Zeus and Prometheus spent even less time together, as Prometheus started living on earth, and Zeus felt betrayed. he felt as if he had lost a friend to some lowly, unworthy mortals, so when Prometheus asked to give them fire, he declined. there was no way he was going to let Prometheus give them more power. after all, he spent so much time with them even when they had none. what would he happen if he gave it to them?

to put it shortly, zeus had first child syndrome

by now, Zeus and Hera are married, which is kind of important because he needs children for the story to continue. his disagreement with Prometheus also put a strain on his relationship with Hera

Prometheus didn't really understand why Zeus couldn't move on, similarly to how he couldn't understand Epimetheus making dumb decisions. he decided to steal the fire, because his creation meant more to him than anything at all. he knew he would have to pay for it, but he would do everything for his mortals.

when Zeus found out the fire was gone, he was destroyed. he refused to believe Prometheus would go so far as to steal from Zeus until he looked below and saw Prometheus laughing and dancing with his mortals (derogatory) around a campfire

anyway it seems i've been writing too much. to be continued, click here for part two

[differenttriumphdragon]

TEAM KETCHUP, F*** YEAH!!!

DEVIL!

Did you have to scream that on camera!?

WE'VE RIGHTED THE SINS OF THE PAST!!! Screw you, Team Mayo! Get outta here with your weird...stuff! ...What's mayo even made of, anyway?

*sigh*

...This is probably why you've never won any of our Splatfests...

Anyways, we back, cause we got a government who actually gives a damn about our health!

Are you just trying to anger as many people as possible???

Did it seriously take you this long to figure that out???

For anyone who hasn't left to write a scathing complaint, there's an update.

Cookie Rumble has returned, with some new rules!

You won't have to fight other players anymore; instead, you'll work to match a pre-determined score. It'll be a lot easier for new players, now.

...

A new Guild Run Season has begun as well!

Welcome to the Bamboo Forest! These maps will test the absolute limits of your Guild!

And your patience! What the hell are these conditions!?

There's also a returning Cookie. Give your best salute!

General Jujube is a decorated war hero, famous for leading his troops to victory through impossible odds.

...almost all...never coming back...

...Devil? Everything okay?

...Yeah. Peachy...and speaking of Peaches!

Jujube, Plum, and Peach have all received powerful new Costumes. Ninja's Champion costume has also been released!

What happened to Ninja's other eye???

...You've got a good point there...

Hey...does the general's costume look familiar to anyone?

Oh! Supposedly, that's the outfit he wore when he broke directly through enemy lines!

What's so brave about crossing through enemy lines, anyway? I used to do that every day of my life!

Oh, really? Do tell, Devil.

Well, I did live there...

...Moving on!

Hey, it's the Trojan Horse.

It's just a toy, Devil, it's not going to commit any war crimes.

That you know of.

It's actually a popular toy from the region the general is from. Legends say that these figures radiate a powerful aura that protects their owner from any obstacles.

Also the Treasure description, but sure, 'legends' say that.

Oh, one more thing!

There's a new Showdown available to join!

HELL YEAH! Let's make this two for two! I'm going for the mysterious shadowy guy!

...Devil, have you even played the event yet?

Nope! But they look cool and Angel keeps gushing over Jujube, so I'm on their team!

...Well, I'M going to actually finish Chapter 1 before I pick a side. Good luck with your impulse bet.

Thanks!

That's it for now, everyone! Until next time...

HEAVEN OR HELL, LET'S ROCK!

Let's hope the next update doesn't get leeked!

...*sigh*

Devil, I thought you hated puns.

Yeah, Hero hates 'em more!

[trvgcdiv]

"For goodness' sake, Helen," said Charitas, "I'll go mad with your reasoning. You want the world to know you caused the trouble at Troy, and you want us to think you're as innocent as you look. What's your idea of innocence?"

"Charitas, I'm not easily provoked," said Helen, "but I've a mind at this moment to learn what is your idea of respectability. Here we are sitting in your garden, in broad daylight; your servants and perhaps the neighbours can see what disreputable company you keep. Shall I go now, or not until you've heard the rest of my story?"

"Don't be sensitive, Helen--finish the story. Of course I want to hear it. I hope for light."

"You won't get it from me," said Helen; "our experience hasn't been of the same order, and our ideas probably won't be. But here is my account of my innocence. I am used to having men fall in love with me, but I never wanted them to, and I never flirted with a man in my life. I simply existed; that was enough. And I never wished to love. To marry--yes; I was glad to marry Menelaus, but I had some of your prudent conviction that marriage is easier to arrange and carry through than love is. Against my will I fell in love with Paris. It just happened to me, and I don't consider myself responsible. But I could be sincere--that at least was in my choice, whatever else was fate. Since love had befallen me, I saw it through to the end. Charitas, sincerity was the one virtue I salvaged out of the madness, and I kept a little intelligence, too--I had enough wit to know that the end would be bad. I was deserting my child; what would happen to her character, growing up alone, and with such an example? When we reached Troy, the Trojans, I was sure, would repudiate Paris and me, else there would be war. But as it turned out, the Trojans did nothing of the sort. They welcomed me. When the war was going the wrong way for them, they said more than once that it was worth it, just to have me with them. Charitas, a woman who does a wrong she feels she cannot help, yet expects to suffer for it, and is ready to pay the penalty as though it were altogether her fault--such a woman, in my opinion, is moral far above the average. By your own standards, I think--certainly by mine--the Trojans lost their sense of moral consequences. Hermione's story would save their reputations, but it does less than justice to mine. I am proud of my willingness to pay for what others suffered from my misfortune. Without that moral clarity, I could have no peace of mind. And I think Menelaus, like the Trojans, showed that he was ethically confused. From the beginning of the siege, I thought our people would win, and that Menelaus would kill me. But instead he brought me home, as you see. Even the gods, it might be said, were delinquent, not to annihilate me--but perhaps I'm to suffer exquisitely now through my neglected daughter, who has grown up to have a respectable and dishonest imagination. Had I been here, I should have taught her to love the truth."