#haughty old fashioned aziraphale | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

crowleysaziraphale2003 · 6 months

Text

Happy Easter Monday, everybody! Here's a fic I've literally just posted on AO3, based on the meme someone on here made or posted at least, about Aziraphale and Crowley kissing in the Bentley and Jesus driving lmao. CW for swearing. Enjoy! :)

PS-Happy belated Easter and Trans Day of Visibility! 🩵🩷🤍

Jesus, Take the Wheel

"I still don't see why we need to take him to the US," Aziraphale grumbled.

"Like I said," Crowley gritted out, his grip on the steering wheel firmer than ever, Queen's 'We Will Rock You' playing in the background, "nobody will think to look for him in New York. Even if they do, it's crowded there. He won't raise suspicion among a lot of Americans, either."

Aziraphale raised an eyebrow at him. "And why is that, dear?"

"Because a lot of them think he's white, for some reason."

"Fair point. But what if we get him lost?"

"We won't."

"But we could!" Aziraphale insisted.

"How?"

"We lost the Antichrist, last time."

Crowley sighed. "That was different. 'Sides, I'm pretty sure that was you and not me who did that."

Aziraphale turned a shade of crimson. "We were both responsible for that particular mishap," he pointed out as Crowley ran a red light. "Oh, do look out, Crowley! You could discorporate!"

"As if you'd care," Crowley growled, driving even faster.

Shock flitted across Aziraphale's face, which Crowley just about noticed from the corner of his eye. "Of course I do. I always care about you."

"Got a funny way of showing it," Crowley said. "Anyway. Gonna have to make the car fly to get him to America, which'll be difficult, but I think coming up to Scotland will confuse them enough to throw them off our scent for a while."

"Hmm," Aziraphale responded, fidgeting. "Look, are you terribly sure he wants to travel to New York?"

"I'm sure he'll love it," Crowley said, wearing a grim smile on his face.

"Guys? I'd rather you didn't talk about me as though I wasn't there," Jesus piped up from the backseat, where he had been waiting patiently for His turn to speak. "The people in my homeland are suffering right now, why can't I-"

"Shut up, Jesus!" They both shouted at the same time.

"I did ask to be called Joshua," he muttered. Neither of them appeared to hear him.

Crowley turned to Aziraphale while driving. "Too obvious," he said.

"Too obvious," Aziraphale repeated, nodding. "Not to mention dangerous. Speaking of which-do watch the road, Crowley."

Crowley turned back to the road. 'Good-Old Fashioned Lover Boy' began to play. "What did you mean, when you said you always care about me?"

"Well, I thought I'd made that much obvious," Aziraphale replied, a tad haughty.

"Not when you left me. For Heaven," Crowley said, his voice wobbling despite his feigned nonchalance.

"I was doing that for the Greater good!" Aziraphale protested.

"Kidnapping me is for the Greater Good?" Jesus asked.

"Yes, it is, Je-Joshua. See, I got it right," he said, turning around to smile at him. Jesus did not smile back. Aziraphale twisted back in his seat. Crowley was frowning.

"Great mangled pustulent bollocks to the Greater Blasted Good!"

Aziraphale's eyes widened. "Crowley, language! There really is no need-"

"Yeah, yeah. There was really no need to leave me, either, was there!" Crowley snapped.

Aziraphale had had enough of this foolishness, at this point. "I was doing it to protect you!" he shot back, not meaning to shout.

A pregnant silence filled the car for about half a minute. Jesus-or Joshua-knew better than to break it and get between whatever the hell was going on between the two of them.

"What do you mean, angel?" His voice was quiet.

Aziraphale sighed, rather heavily. The car stopped at a red light, for once, as Crowley couldn't be bothered to change it. Besides, this was more important.

"I didn't tell you this, because I didn't want to worry you. But if I didn't go with him, the Metatron said that extreme sanctions could still be taken against those who had been involved with Gabriel's disappearance."

"Extr-" Crowley fell silent for a second, gripping the wheel of the car a bit too hard. He glanced at Aziraphale for a second. God, was he beautiful. "He threatened your existence?"

"I wouldn't particularly care about that. Not me; he didn't want to get his hands dirty, apparently, by doing that to an angel. No, he threatened your existence, dear, and well, I simply couldn't have that. So I went along with him, even though it pained me to no end. I had to. Then he mentioned The Second Coming, and I realised that I had to protect the humans, too. So it was about them as well, I suppose. But still. I thought I could make a difference from the inside, and when I realised I couldn't do that in a corporate environment, I had to get...creative."

Much to Aziraphale's surprise, Crowley let out a chuckle. "So you kidnapped Jesus Christ, instead."

"Yes."

"And you only left to protect me, and to protect the humans?" he questioned, his voice faltering. The light finally turned green, and he went.

"Yes, I did," Aziraphale confirmed, fidgeting a little.

"What he says is true," Jesus added. "Although human too, I do have access to angel's memories, and what he says is recorded in his memories, and the memories of the Metatron. Who, by the way, is a-"

"I would have trusted you to tell the truth anyway, angel," Crowley whispered, ignoring Jesus.

With the hand he didn't have on the steering wheel, he removed his sunglasses and turned to gaze upon the angel, his angel, with such tenderness that Aziraphale found it almost unbearable.

"Oh, Crowley," Aziraphale replied, tearing up. "I'm so awfully sorry, about everything. You needn't forgive me, of course. I hardly deserve it."

"You know, you never apologised for literally kidnapping me-"

"Shut up, Jesus!" They both yelled, again.

"Noted."

Crowley took a deep breath. "Angel, I think I just have."

Aziraphale reached out and squeezed his hand. 'You're My Best Friend', by Queen had been playing for the past few minutes, and was just trailing off. Crowley squeezed his hand back.

"Oh, I do love you, Crowley," Aziraphale murmured, with a soft smile that was practically discorporating Crowley on the spot.

Right. Enough was enough, already, Crowley decided.

"Fuck. I love you too, you blessed idiot," Crowley responded, pulling Aziraphale in for a passionate kiss.

Although rather surprised at first, Aziraphale quickly and enthusiastically reciprocated it, savouring the divine feeling of Crowley's soft lips against his the way he hadn't been able to the last time they'd kissed. Crowley ran his hand through the his fluffy, light hair. Aziraphale's thumb was stroking his neck, before he moved his hands and arms down his back in order to embrace him properly. This was nothing like their desperate, angry first kiss. For both of them, was slow, tender, beautiful.

Miraculously, the Bentley hadn't crashed. Yet.

The radio, which had been silent for the past minute, began blaring 'Jesus, Take the Wheel'. Pulling a face at Aziraphale and Crowley's display of affection, Jesus quickly unbuckled his own seatbelt, reached forward and did as He was told.

This was going to be one hell of a journey.

42 notes · View notes