#have you guys not played majora's mask? wind waker? twilight princess? literally any other zelda game????

[rawliverandgoronspice]

me everytime anyone on youtube begins their take about totk saying it's "one of the best stories in the franchise"

[wickedcriminal]

spsppspsspps its ya boy back with the random loz questions IN ALL THE GAMES YOUVE PLAYED or even ones you havent WHAT is your favorite boss/mini boss?

OKIE SO

I have SO many bosses/minibosses I love so I'm going to split it between gameplay and cinematics

Gameplay

For this section my favorite boss goes to Majora from Majora's Mask!! That guy is SO HARD and ALL OVER THE PLACE but you know what?? I wouldn't have a boss any other way. Screw all the 'time it perfectly and press A' strategies, let me find my own openings and smack him with whatever i have in my inventory!! Of course I was SUPER YOUNG when I first played Majora and always got SO PISSED OFF at his fight because I just COULDN'T beat him, so I finished the mask collection for the moon children and accidentally discovered the Fierce Diety's Mask AND I WIPED THE FLOOR WITH MAJORA AND FELT SO GOOD ABOUT IT NOW THAT'S WHAT I CAN AN UNFAIR FIGHT (AFFECTIONATE)

As for favorite miniboss, this one is much more difficult! Twilight Princess has some brilliant minibosses like the Darknut and Iron Hammer, but King Bulblin takes the cake for me. All of his fights!! I especially liked the fight on the Bridge of Eldin (saving Colin and then rearing Epona up with some triumphant music was SO GOOD) in general I really enjoy chasing him around on my horse and jabbing at him, the jousting on the bridge was SO cool, and fighting him one on one was really satisfying. All around, really great miniboss.

Cinematic

This one is a HARD one. Mostly my choices for favorite boss consists of final bosses and they're all so wicked cool to me. On this list is Ganondorf from both Twilight Princess and Wind Waker (WICKED COOL), Malladus from Spirit Tracks (the music and the use of both Zelda and Link put this one extremely high) and Calamity Ganon from BOTW (literally the only downside to this fight is that it feels too samey to the other Blights).

All in all, I narrowed this one down to a hard tie between Dark Beast Ganon and Demise. Dark Beast Ganon has earned a reputation for being stupid easy, but come on. Don't tell me the combination of music, cutscenes, giant malice pig design, Zelda's voice in the background, the bow of light, riding a horse-- ITS SO SICK OKAY I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I EAT THAT UP!! On the other hand there's Demise. He's Demise. He's probably one of the single coolest villains in the franchise. Not only does he look scary, but the STAGE,, the whole endless plane of water, the lightning storm-- SKYWARD LIGHTNING STRIKES ARE SO COOL??? And the way he walks toward you super menacingly and you duel it out magic sword to magic sword. And his LINES!! The curse of Demise ending off the fight... ooughgh the chills. In the Wise Words of Megamind, it's all about;

As for minibosses, I really REALLY love Naydra as a miniboss. I know it doesn't fight back, which makes it stupid easy, but the entire point is that you're trying to save it. The eerie music was wonderful, paired with the dragon's malice design: and my FAVORITE part is that it isn't even hinted at, you you have literally stumble upon it. I first found Naydra while I was looking for gems and exploring up the mountain casually. The poor thing gave me a heart attack.

.

For our honorable mentions, I have to talk about koloktos skyward sword because I just ADORE how fun that boss is; i love the way you can just,, TEAR IT APART AND BEAT IT WITH ITS OWN LIMBS

Also Igos du Ikana was always a memorable boss for me when I played Majora's Mask as a kid, he's so funny!

Lastly, I really liked Bellumbeck from Phantom Hourglass. That game has got some REALLY good underrated moments and I definitely consider Bellumbeck to be one of them

[melancholicwriteaholic]

Samus and Link are Bros #11

Random excerpts from Samus and Link’s Friday Night Podcast. I always imagined what that sort of podcast would be like, so here’s some ideas.

*** *** ***

[Excerpt from Samus Is Cold]

“...and I get this a lot, too. People think I’m always angry. Or I’m such a hard-ass, you know? Not just a Bad Ass, but a real bitch. Like, all the time angry or something. They think I’m some cold, unapproachable super solder who’ll zap them as soon as they get anywhere close to me?”

“Yeah, I’ve heard from around the guys especially are afraid of you.”

“You know what it is? It’s the games. They think I’m cold ‘cause I never smile in my games.”

(Link laughs as Samus explains, incredulously)

“I’m serious! And I’m like, ‘Guys! I’m in a hostile alien cave???’ I mean, come on! Gimme a break! You try and stay upbeat and sunshines when everything around wants to eat you!”

“Mm Hm.”

“And when I’m not doing that, I’m getting punched in the face by Donkey Kong or eaten by Kirby. I’m sorry for seeming less than cheery, you know?”

“Yeah, I get that.”

“Don’t you? I mean, hell. I played all of Ocarina of Time, you know? And I don’t remember you smiling even once in that game. I might be wrong, but I’m pretty sure you were a stone statue. And people don’t think you’re cold or anything.”

“Well, some people do. But no, you’re right. I know, um, I know Zelda? From our Twilight Princess days? The fans treated her the same way, I remember. And if you actually play the game you’d know, well, it’s not like she’s in the most ideal circumstances in that game.”

“I think she literally died in that game? Am I remembering that right?”

“No, but I think I know what you’re talking about, yeah. Crazy...”

*** *** ***

[Sponsor Time]

“I’m going to stop you right there, Sammy. Sorry, but we’ve run out of time for that topic. We need to talk about this episode’s sponsor! Today’s sponsor is... Oh, crud.” Link chuckles. “Yeah, they’re gonna kill me.”

“What?”

“It’s...” Link can’t seem to keep the chuckle out of his voice. “Today’s episode is brought to you by the best deal in gaming there is. Xbox Game Pass.”

“No. What? How did this happen?” 

“I don’t know. Mistakes are made and now I must reveal to you, my listeners, that with XBox Game Pass you can rent any number of amazing Xbox one and Xbox 360 games-”

Samus also starts laughing, interrupting Link.

“...For just one low monthly fee. That is, unlimited play from over a hundred great XBox Games. For REAL GAMERZ ONLY.”

“Oh Gods... Oh, I feel dirty now. Wow.”

“I know, right? It’s such a fantastic deal!”

“Stop, oh my God.”

“We should stop playing Nintendo games. Let’s all get Xboxes.”

“Stop, let’s- Yeah, screw nintendo.”

“Yeah. Oh my Din, I’m gonna get killed.”

*** *** ***

[Link explains where the Toon Link comes from]

“...and I think the problem is that I’m less cartoony than the other games. Mario can be paper, Kirby can be yarn, but I can’t make an, I don’t know, Samus the Barbie Doll Adventures game.”

“Right, right. You’re kind of locked in a medium.”

“Don’t you have a story about that, Link? You know, with the Toon Link idea?”

“Oh, that’s actually a long story. If you don’t mind.”

“No, no. Let’s hear it.”

“Yeah, it actually started not with Wind Waker, but all the way back. I think you remember. It was sometime after we finished with, um, Link’s Awakening, right? Like I had an ideal look to me back then.”

“Right, with the elf look and the ears and all.”

“Yeah. Like, I was changing slowly with each game, sure. Remember how from Zelda one to Zelda two I grew up?”

“Yeah. You came up to my hips back then. Or maybe even my knee caps. Whatever it was you were short.”

“Yeah, so it wasn’t like I wasn’t changing the way I look or anything. But there was a certain look that made you think “That’s Link.” Like, if you look at the comics or promotional stuff you saw they drew me all the same way. And truth be told I was pretty wary of getting, you know, boxed in. Like, I needed to change things up before it was too late to do so.”

“Yeah. Like Pit for a while, right?”

“Sure. So the N64 was rolling around and me and Mario finished working out how 3D was gonna work. I work shopped what I was going to look like in secret with the others. The creators, designers, I think even big papa Miyamoto, you know. We were all on the same page.”

“Oh yeah, you kept a lot of it secret though. I had a lot of time to play other folks’ games during the late nineties, I remember, so I played through yours.”

“Oh yeah, you weren’t so keen on the whole 3D thing at first. I remember.”

“Yeah, and I remember the first time I saw you as an adult. My haw hit the floor.”

“So it worked, then.”

“Yeah, it was incredible. At first you’re this shrimp, right? And it makes sense. You’re Link, the elf, among fellow elves. I thought that was that, but then midway through I was like ‘Wha? You’re as tall as I am now? No! Stop! That’s illegal!’”

Link laughs. “’No stop! Get back to being little right this instance!’”

“Yeah!”

“Yeah, so like that was the first time I changed. And it worked. A little too well. In Majora’s Mask I wanted to avoid turning into an adult again for a while. Hell, in most of that game I was taking different bodies, trying to loosen up the way people saw me. But Ocarina of Time was, how should I say this, too popular?”

“So now people were seeing you as the bishonen adult man.”

“Yeah, so I thought, *Beep* it. If there are children in the audience out there, I’ll bleep that out.”

Samus guffaws at this.

“I walked up to the crew and tell them: Guys! Make me a cartoon. I remember them looking at me like I grew two heads. They were like, What, like Mickey Mouse???”

“Oh God, that didn’t go over well, eh?”

“No. I think even Zelda hated me a bit for that for a while. Ganondorf was especially awful about it. I didn’t care though. Anything at all not to be stuck looking like a bishie forever.”

“I think it went well.”

“Yeah, I’m glad we did that.”

“It was controversial, but you certainly ain’t boxed, right? Your games are pretty damn flexible now. And, best of all, you always get at least two smash roster slots!

Link and Samus both chuckle at this...

*** *** ***

[thewrongexecution]

Scrambled Thoughts

hey how does bein’, like. exited about a thing, but coherently, work? ‘cos like. P5S was announced, and it’s not what some people necessarily wanted or expected, but. I think it’ll be good? in ways those same disappointed folks might enjoy, but aren’t necessarily considering? man where do I even start with this

(long)

so way back in the day, when the Wii U was still relevant, Koei Tecmo came out with Hyrule Warriors basically outta nowhere. now, I never played any warriors games and I think my first zelda was Twilight Princess? Skyward Sword? spent plenty of time watching my brother play them titles and consider majora’s mask one of the greatest games of all time, but I ain’t never touched ‘em, and because I already experienced them vicariously, ain’t ever likely to. but I was big on diablo, on that experience of mowing down hordes of enemies with a big overpowered hero, so I was like, yeah, sure I’ll keep an eye out

(maybe  I was able to latch onto Hyrule Warriors because I was more invested in the characters and story than the gameplay? I don’t know how zelda fans recieved it; I wasn’t as deep in The ‘Net as I am now. doesn’t matter.)

turns out just about everything in that game is great. the long-term gameplay isn’t anything to write home about; it’s all level grinding and weapons farming, but like it’s not necessarily a game for that. it’s a buncha dumb fun! hit things with big flashy attacks! watch actual dozens of bodies ragdoll off into the distance! play as your favorite heroes and and villains and then also some npcs we added for the hell of it!

That, see, is what I remember about Hyrule Warriors. the whole draw of the game, what I love about it, is the warriors and their weapons and their fighting style and fighting with style. like, each character can have multiple weapons, and each weapon is its own moveset-- relatively simple, but still pretty involved, and built around slaughtering a buncha dudes really flashily. and it just-- they went through like every zelda game, and went like, who’s important and how do they fight, and then they made them ALL fun to play as

there are forty two fighting styles to choose from and none of them are bad

actually no that’s a lie; the dominion rod, the summon gates, and agitha’s parasols are bad. maybe also the great fairy and sometimes the wind waker? and I never unlocked all the toon-era weaponry, but it doesn’t matter because there are like thirty-five other ways to play That Are All Fun

that’s the first thing. the second thing, which you may have noticed from the list of weapons I don’t much care for, is that some of these weapons get way dumb. like agitha’s parasols. you remember agitha, right? from twilight princess? the incidental, out-of-the-way npc with the completely optional sidequest to find extremely rare bugs? the character that hangs out at home all day and does not interact with any character outside of link? yeah lets make her a playable character in a game where you literally beat up entire armies, she can hit people with a shitty umbrella and also summon bugs, like a giant beetle to crush people with or a giant butterfly to ride on and dive-bomb, that makes sense lol

and the thing is! I think that’s great! it’s legitimately hilarious! and she’s viable!!! I don’t like her fighting style; she’s short range with long recovery times and her special mode relies on getting enemies airborne to actually hit anything with-- but she’s not unusable, her inclusion is a joke but she’s not a joke character, y’know?

and then they went ahead and did that with like every character and every weapon in the zelda series. like Impa, you know Impa, right? protector of the royal line, shows up in Ocarina of Time to teach you a lullaby, never actually displays any combat skills on screen? let’s give her one-a them slab-of-metal ultragreatswords, that seems reasonable. sheik plays a harp and is mysterious, let’s turn them into a ninja with kunai and shit and also a magic harp which does magic based on the songs from OoT that they teach you. how ‘bout Fi, the ghost inside the master sword that exists primarily to interrupt you with unskippable dialogue? well, she can turn into a sword, sure, but her main form of attack is interpretative dance, you know, like she does when you beat a temple. or the king of hyrule, who is a boat! very aggressively. hey why don’t we turn volvagia into a dude with a spear who can just turn back into a dragon while we’re at it

and that’s not even touching link, who has:

sword (obvious)

horse (obvious)

fire rod (flamethrower, giant laser, and most powerfully, axe)

great fairy (carries link in a bottle)

spinner (niche late-game mobility tool from Twilight Princess; 3rd best weapon in Warriors)

and gauntlets (support item that lets you carry heavy things throughout the series; 2nd best weapon in Warriors)

(the best weapon is ganon’s dual greatswords, but that’s aside the point)

and as though that wasn’t enough, they invented Link But A Girl so they could include the iron boots, which makes sense, and, fuckin’, dual crossbows.

you know, crossbows? link’s iconic weapon? that he uses exactly once?? in the game link’s crossbow training??? a throwaway motion-control-centric game for the wii???????

now. everyone is different. so I feel the need to clarify.

all of that? that’s praise. that’s adoration. this game is a love-letter to the zelda series, all of the zelda series, no matter how ridiculous, because it’s ridiculous. I love that, I aspire to that! to that dedication, that passion for a thing, the ability to take a joke and make it real, to make you forget it’s a joke because of how good it is. like when they announced pirahna plant for smash brothers, and then made him good? that emotion, informing the design of an entire game. let me stick this flail in the ground, and then use it to swing the entire earth around to hit you with, and then also, incidentally, because Link’s Awakening existed, because we can, the flail is a chain chomp!!

VIDEOGAMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*breathe in*

*breathe out*

and then I think

the people that made that

are doing one with persona

and people have the gall to be disappointed?

like, no, okay, I know, that’s too harsh. I know this isn’t what everyone wanted. I know some feel lied to and betrayed, and my inability to relate to that means y’all might not relate to this. and I know the excitement I feel now is the same as the excitement y’all felt before y’all got let down. I know that.

and yet...

if these guys can pull 42 different combat styles outta the legend of zelda series, from people without even theoretical combat experience, and then you give them the cast of persona 5?

like yakuza man, who's in the yakuza? or guns child, who dual-wields guns? or the doctor, who plausibly has needles and scalpels and doctor-y stuff? or the already extremely anime shogi player, who, fuck it, let’s turn her into a summoner archetype, run people down with cavalry an’ shit! or the fortune teller, she reads tarot, let’s arbitrarily give her tarot-based powers, drop The Tower on some hapless goons, doesn’t gotta make sense if it’s fun!!

VIDEOGAMES!!!

but maybe that’s unreasonable.

I dunno how much creative control nintendo exerted over hyrule warriors, I dunno how much atlus is gonna exert over P5S. maybe they want a more serious experience, maybe chihaya won’t be playable. chihaya being playable doesn’t make sense, and I know that, that’s fine

but even then

I also think

persona 4 arena had the 4 in it

but they still had dudes from 3

so

you know

we’ll see.

[puppyluver256]

Personal Link headcanons

(going by the games I’ve played a decent amount of)

Ocarina of Time/Majora’s Mask Link

Very sensitive to loud noises, particularly screaming. This is before his first encounter with Redeads, even, and that obviously didn’t help matters.

Knew that Zelda was Sheik the whole time, but still thought Sheik was a guy. He figured that the identity was less of a disguise and more of a gender identity thing.

This Link is gay. He was genuinely disappointed when he found out Sheik wasn’t a guy.

Wind Waker Link

A bit of a jokester, likes to play harmless pranks on friends and family. They’re always intended to be the kind of prank that both parties can laugh at (like Rickrolling if he were in a more modern era), and if he actually hurts someone or their feelings he will try to make it right.

Considering his age (on the edge of childhood and adolescence), he likes to push boundaries to see what he can get away with. Particularly swearing. He’ll sometimes swear around authority figures to see how far he’s allowed to go. Grandma immediately shuts it down, the King just glares at him like “really?”, and when he was with Tetra’s crew they didn’t give a single damn cuz they regularly use fouler language than Link even knew at the time.

Even before of the Helmaroc King incident, he was fiercely protective of Aryll. You try to mess with her and he will Kick Your Ass. ...or at least try to.

Twilight Princess Link

Has a light southern accent, more than likely saying “y’all” a lot.

Was originally a pacifist before the whole plot of TP started, only even having a sword in the first place to keep predators away from the village’s goat herd. He only agreed to take on the quest he had because he was literally the only person who could do it.

He’s the supportive friend type, the kind of guy you can come to if you’ve got something to get off your chest. Doesn’t care if it’s not “masculine” to talk about your feelings.

If he’s visiting you and you’ve got a pet, he’ll probably end up spending more time with the pet than with you. He will spoil your dogs and cats.

Doesn’t understand the societal distinction between “men’s work” and “women’s work”. Sure, he understands how it got that way, but he doesn’t understand why people insist on upholding those thoughts. As long as it helps the family and community, he feels it should be valued equally regardless of who’s doing it.

After the events of TP, he returned to Ordon to live a relatively peaceful life. Every so often, in the hours of twilight, he’ll talk to no one in the hopes that maybe somehow a friend will hear him, or at least know that he misses her.

Skyward Sword Link

Fairly well educated, because I doubt the knight academy exists for the sole purpose of training knights (or at least they don’t want their knights to be unlearned).

Actually did name his Loftwing. His name is Big Red. B’Red for short.

Doesn’t like people approaching him from behind without warning, even if they’re close to him. His encounters with Ghirahim made this particular issue much worse.

Hyrule Warriors Link

Aroace as hell. He has a pile of platonic love for his friends and companions, obviously, and that’s all he feels like he needs.

His wish after the war is to live on a small farm with the companionship of any friends that will join him, Epona, and lots and lots of dogs.

Thinks of Linkle as a little sister, and as with my WW Link headcanon, if you mess with her he’ll Kick Your Ass. (note: this was written without having checked out Linkle’s Tale, I don’t actually know if they ever meet!)

Breath of the Wild Link

Is willing to be part of all sorts of obnoxious selfies with Zelda and the other champions.

It’s pretty much confirmed by Zelda’s diary entries that this Link is selectively nonverbal due to anxiety pre-calamity, but I like to imagine after he wakes up that he’s a bit more comfortable talking to people, though still a man of few spoken words. Those dialogue options have to come from somewhere, after all.

A big eater with generally good taste, though more willing to eat things his pals might be suspicious of.

Team Chef.

Pan and was once in a poly relationship with Zelda and the champions.

Will take pictures of All The Dogs. Every single dog he meets gets a close-up. It’s a good thing Hylian retrievers are so commonplace, because those are his favorite breed. (yes I like to imagine there are more breeds than just the Hylian retrievers even if Nintendo didn’t make any more, fight me)

Has no idea why that greenish wolf shows up sometimes and follows him around for a while. He’s certainly not going to chase him off, though. Just another wonderful dog friend, and so helpful too. But who the hell pierces a dog’s ears?!