#haven't had proper friends in two years it's making me sick in the head

[vampiromano]

fuck it I'm starting singing classes

i actually wrote a lot of tags on this one. it's mostly personal reminders. but I'm posting it bc I'll forget to do any of this otherwise

i do not check my scheduling apps I'm a disaster❤️

anyway the tldr is I'm leaving this year's seasonal depression behind‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ fuck yes

i get it in summer bc I'm built different (got a few mental disorders) but yeah anyway I don't fucking care I'm DOING SHIT AGAIN somebody clap

[angellesword]

MAGIC SHOP | JJK (09)

Description: You and Jungkook were best friends who were in love with each other. What would happen when Soojin, your half sister who you’re trying to impress, told you she’s in love with Jungkook too?

Where did you stand after this? What choices did you have?

Alternatively:

“Would you believe me if I said that I was scared of everything too?”

Pairing: Architect!Jungkook x Architect!Reader (side pairing: Taehyung x Yoongi)

Genre: childhood best friends to lovers, family drama, angst, fluff, idiots to lovers, pining, slice of life au.

Warnings: Building collapse, resulting to death and injuries. Homophobia, cursing, and drinking alcohol on a plane, physical abuse (Sin-ae slapped OC)

Note: Texts like this = lyrics from this chapter’s OST which is It’s You by Henry

Word Count: 3.6k

Series: CHAPTER 8 | CHAPTER 10

When Jungkook claimed that 'the whole family needs you,' what he really meant was that the Kims needed you to convince Taehyung to go back to Seoul.

"No. I'd rather die than go back there." Your brother's face was scarlet, obviously fuming.

You sighed. Defeat was already knocking on your door, telling you to give it up. Taehyung was stubborn, no one could make him do something he proclaimed he hated.

"B-But..." You couldn't give up, so desperately, you looked at him and said "our family needs us—"

"Our family needs us?" He cut you off, voice laced with so much fury it made you flinch.

You hadn't seen him this enraged. Regret washed over you. Perhaps you should've waited for the sun to come up first before dropping the bad news to him. Taehyung woke up with a sour mood since you banged on your bedroom door, forcing him to come out and talk to you.

He had a frown on his face when he opened the door, eyes squinting, he asked you what you could possibly want in the middle of the night.

You told him your concern at once, not minding that Jimin was awake now, calling your name softly like he wasn't sure what was happening or why you're suddenly disturbing everyone's sleep.

Yoongi was awake too. He stood behind Taehyung as he scratched the back of his head, frowning at you.

You ruined their sleep while Jungkook ruined your peace.

He told you that your father and Soojin got into an accident. Apparently, the building which was being constructed by Castle Architectural Firm collapsed. Some construction workers, your father, and Soojin were injured.

Admittedly, you didn't know all the details because your mind had gone haywire the second you heard Jungkook associated your family's names with the word accident.

You could say though that between you and Taehyung, the latter was calmer. When you told him the same thing Jungkook had said to you, all your brother asked was this: "they're...still alive, right?"

You nodded your head, lips pressing into a grim line when he shrugged.

Nonchalantly.

Taehyung shrugged nonchalantly.

"Good. I'll just send them a text message later." He attempted to shut the door.

"Wait!" You stopped him, saying that you two needed to plan your trip back home.

It's his turn to smack his lips together, as if he found your statement ridiculous.

Taehyung told you he would never go back to Seoul. You still insisted on going though, prompting him to say things both of you knew he's gonna regret.

"Why are you forcing me to go back to that shithole?" He snapped at you. "Did you forget what I've been through because of him?"

You could see it in his eyes. He wanted to scream everything—he lost everything because of Taemin.

"B-But..." You were too frightened to think of a proper explanation so you just repeated what you said a few breaths ago, "they need us..." Your voice was actually low, like you weren't sure if what you said was valid.

Taehyung proved that it was bull by cackling. His tongue was prodding at the insides of his mouth.

"Bull fucking shit." You took a step back upon hearing his snarl. Taehyung was glaring daggers at you.

"Taehyung-ah..." Yoongi interrupted before his boyfriend could hurt you with his words. It was to no avail. Your brother didn't stop sputtering things. He was directing his frustration to you.

"What? I'm right, Yoongi." He also glared at his hyung before casting his gaze back at you. "We chose to leave but they pushed us to do it. Our father can't accept me. My mother barely tolerated me. Seokjin and Namjoon-hyung are the only ones who defended me, but where are they now? They stopped talking to me too—" He sounded bitter.

You couldn't blame him. None of them reached out to talk to you and your brother. It had been almost two years since you contacted them. They didn't spare you even a simple greeting no matter how many holidays had passed, no matter how long your messages were.

The Kims never replied.

"Consider leaving Seoul as a sign of you turning your back on us." This was what Taemin said to Taehyung.

And to you?

Nothing.

They never cared about you. As a matter of fact, you felt like you had done them a favor when you left. Even Soojin didn't bother to stop you. She only said you're old enough to decide for yourself, that she got a lot on her plate right now and that she didn't have time for your drama or whatever you're going through.

Taehyung said you were stupid. Why did you keep insisting yourself to them? Wasn't it obvious to you that they didn't want you in their circle? You were an outsider they would never let in.

"—and now you're saying they need us? For what?" He answered his own question after swallowing his spit. "For support? That's rich coming from them, don't you think? How dare they ask something they never gave us when we needed it the most?"

"I don't want to end up like them, oppa." Your voice was barely audible as you trained your eyes on the floor. "You and I both know how painful it is not to have the support we craved. Do you really want to pass that pain to someone else?"

Taehyung cackled, forcing you to cast your eyes back to him.

"That's where we're different, little sister." He licked his lower lip, thunder and lightning were brewing in his eyes. "I don't care about the pain of the people who hurt me. I don't want to be the bigger person here. What? Am I supposed to just forget everything I went through just because my father is in pain? He's hurt for a reason. He deserves it."

Taehyung knew he was being mean. He couldn't help it. Why must he allow toxic people back in his life again? He managed to pull himself from a very dark place. It was difficult. It was shitty. It was heartbreaking. But he did it.

He did it and just because he could didn't mean he'd allow himself to go back to that dark place. Taehyung wouldn't. He would never be sorry for how he protected his peace.

Not going back to Seoul was how he did it.

"But Soojin..." If Taehyung couldn't forgive his father, then he should go back home for the sake of his other sister.

"Ah," your brother smirked. "Kim Soojin. The person who stole the love of your life. Am I right?" He crossed his arms, not waiting for you to reply.

"Sometimes I don't understand you. Are you a martyr or an idiot? Why would you want to help Soojin? You suffered greatly because of her, did you not?"

You were once again lost for words.

Taehyung continued speaking.

"She's mean to you. She's the reason why you're far away from home." He stroked his chin, squinting his eyes at you. "I know now. You're not a martyr. You're stupid. You enjoy loving the people who hurt you, and then you hurt people who love you."

Yoongi grabbed his boyfriend's wrist vigorously. Taehyung ignored his first warning so Yoongi wouldn't allow him to talk to you any further. He was upset and he was starting to hurt you. It's not right.

Taehyung was unstoppable though.

"You love everyone except Jungkook. Is that the reason why you wanna go back home, huh? Guilt finally caught up with you? Do you really want to be there for our family, or is this the only excuse you can think of because you want to see Jungkook again? You haven't moved on from him, have you?"

The storm in his eyes reached you. The thunder was like a booming pain in your head. The lightning electrified your heart that couldn't be revived.

You felt sick, like you were going to faint. Jimin was suddenly beside you. He dug his fingers into your hips, keeping you from falling.

"Kim Taehyung." Jimin growled at his best friend.

"It's okay," you clamped your eyes shut and after a few seconds, you opened them again, staring into your brother's remorseful eyes.

Funny how people instantly pulled themselves together right after lashing out.

"I'll fly back home tomorrow, even without you."

You were true to your words. You booked a flight going back to Seoul while Yoongi pulled Taehyung back to bed, urging him to rest for a while before deciding what he wanted to do with the information you told him.

Morning came and he still didn't change his mind. You had to go home alone.

"I'm going to miss you," but Jimin dropped you off to the airport. Yoongi wanted to go with you, sadly you told him to just stay with his boyfriend.

"Me too." You unbuckled your seat belt and then you turned to your roommate, giving him your sincerest smile. "Thank you, Jimin. For everything."

He was the sweetest and kindest boy you knew. Jimin paid for your plane ticket since you didn't have enough money for it. You told him you would pay him back soon, but he simply brushed you off, saying that it didn't matter to him if you couldn't pay.

"Just be safe, okay?" He ruffled your hair while you studied his face. You could see it in his eyes, he wanted to say more. You could almost feel these words leaving his mouth: and please come back to me.

He didn't say it though. He couldn't ask for that knowing that Taehyung was probably right. You were not over Jungkook.

You dreaded seeing him. What were you supposed to do after pretending like he didn't exist for almost two years?

Taehyung hated you for sending long holiday messages to the Kims despite not getting a response.

You, on the other hand, hated yourself for ignoring Jungkook's handwritten holiday messages for you—well, actually, it wasn't just holiday letters. Your best friend sent you letters from time to time.

He sent two letters a week. This went on for a year but then one day, Jungkook just...stopped.

You thought he got tired of you and it broke your heart and made you hate yourself even more. You were the one who left. He was the one who begged you to stay.

You didn't deserve anything from him, not even his anger. The question was, could you take it? Could you bear seeing indifference in his eyes after getting used to the love always dancing in his eyes?

Probably not. This was why you were trying to calm your nerves by taking advantage of the free wine on the plane. Jimin was the one who booked your flight, choosing business class.

You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve these good men in your life. Taehyung was right. You always ended up hurting the people who loved you.

You drank the pain and bitterness away. You lost count on how many glasses of wine you had, all you knew was that your head was spinning and you felt like shit when you got off the plane.

"I didn't know you drink."

You groaned upon hearing Seokjin's remark. You didn't feel like shit anymore.

You felt shittier.

Abashed, you smiled apologetically at your older brother, suddenly regretting his offer to pick you up from the airport.

"Long time no see, oppa..." Two years and he still looked the same: like a deity. Seokjin aged like a fine wine.

"I'm sorry I can't convince Taehyung-oppa to come home with me." Your face was hot and you weren't sure if it was because of wine or embarrassment.

Seokjin noticed your sheepishness as he took your suitcase and handbag, carrying them for you.

"I didn't expect him to come. But at least you're here. Father is expecting you." He started walking so you followed.

"H-How's he and Soojin?" You were stammering since you weren't used to conversing with him. This was probably the longest conversation you had with your eldest brother.

Seokjin had always acted indifferent towards you.

"Jungkook didn't tell you?" He enquired while loading the boot of his car with your luggage.

"He...just told me they're injured."

Your brother sucked in a breath. He closed the trunk of his car loudly before turning to you. Too many emotions were painted on his face, but the most apparent was...exhaustion? Or was it sympathy for your naivety?

"I envy you..." The corner of his mouth turned up as he eyed you from head to toe. You fought the urge to step back. He was making you feel intimidated ."You got to drink. I didn't." He walked towards the driver's seat of his car, opening its door. "The situation is getting worse, sister. You should've drunk more when you still had the chance."

You didn't understand what Seokjin said to you at first, but the moment he turned on the radio in his car, your world crumpled and you wished you had drunk more wine.

"SPD has confirmed that at least four people died in a commercial building collapse Wednesday afternoon in—"

Your stomach flipped, your brain no longer able to listen to the sickening news.

Baffled, your head snapped to look at your brother who was clenching his jaw, his grip on the steering wheel was tight.

"I thought no one died!" You whimpered, chest recoiling.

"That's fifteen hours ago."

Fuck.

"B-But...you said Soojin and father are okay, right? They're not..." You trailed off, it was physically painful for you to continue your statement.

Seokjin sucked in a deep breath as he realized it was better to tell you the truth now. He said that your father was still unconscious, something big and hard fell on his head.

Soojin was in a wheelchair but at least she's conscious. There were cuts and bruises all over her body because of the fallen debris.

"Can we go straight to the hospital now, oppa? I..." You licked your lower lip. "I want to see Soojin and father."

Seokjin didn't answer but he nodded his head. The rest of the ride was filled with silence. The older man turned off the radio when he realized you were breathing heavily.

You tried to calm down. You really did, howbeit everything was too much for you. The alcohol in your system was making you feel hot even though you're literally covered in cold sweat.

What about those people who had died? Do their family know? How could Castle help them? Who was taking charge?

You whimpered again. When you left two years ago, the situation was already bad. The construction workers were protesting every Friday, demanding to be treated right—to be treated fairly. They didn't have the same benefits as regular employees. They didn't have social insurance. Their daily wage wasn't even enough to get them by.

"Hey..." Seokjin slowed down, glancing at you when he heard you whine for the umpteenth time. "Your head hurts? We can buy coffee if you want..."

Was he worried thinking that you had too much wine?

"I'm okay, oppa. Just thinking about those who..." You swallowed thickly. "d-died."

Seokjin's eyes softened.

"Namjoonie is taking care of it," he exhaled slowly. "Don't worry about it."

It was easier said than done. You thought about this as you headed to the VIP floor of the hospital. Taemin was confined in one of the rooms on that floor.

You were going to see your father in a few and admittedly, you were nervous. Seokjin's words were echoing inside your head: don't worry about it. How could you stop worrying about those workers who had died when there's a possibility that your father might end up just like them?

"Where's Taehyung?" You heard Sin-ae before you saw her. She was guarding the door of Taemin's room, like she had no intention to let you in.

Of course. You expected this day to be difficult. Nothing much had changed in the past two years. Sin-ae still treated with strong contempt.

You noticed the change in her eyes though. Back then, she threw daggers at you, but right now, she looked like she didn't have the energy to do that. Her eyes were...hollow.

"I...couldn't convince him to go home—"

It was sudden.

Not your answer. You had thought so many times while you were on plane the things you would tell Sin-ae and your entire family as to why Taehyung couldn't come home.

He's busy with work, but he's sad he can't come.

He's flying back home in days. Let's just wait for him.

He said he's sorry. He'll call later. Don't worry.

Your excuses were thought thoroughly. You practiced saying it. Hell, you even imagine what they'd say or how they'd react.

You expected them to scowl, to cry...Sin-ae cried.

She cried after slapping you right across the face. She's angry. She's sad. She's frustrated. She's directing these ugly feelings twisting in her gut to you.

"He couldn't come?" She hissed, her eyes were red and tears kept on rolling down her cheeks. She was shaking.

"Jungkook told you to convince my son to go home! You had one job! One fucking job! Why can't you do it, huh?"

"I'm sorry," you were guilty. You avoided her gaze. "I just..." And then you bit your tongue before you said "want to see my father..."

You tried to get past her, but she blocked the way.

"No!" She spread her arms to cover the door. "You are not allowed to see my husband, bastard!"

You shook your head, ignoring her and still insisting to go inside the room. Seokjin said Taemin wanted to see you.

He requested your presence.

"Please." You pleaded. Your voice was shaky too, your blood running cold. Something was wrong. Something was telling you you had to see your father.

The beat of your heart wasn't normal.

"He wants me here..."

"No!" Sin-ae pushed your chest. "We want Taehyung here. Not you! So get lost!"

No.

You pushed her too, making her more aggressive. Sin-ae scratched your skin, screaming. She wanted you to go away.

"What is happening here?" Seokjin arrived. He was so startled to see his mom in this feral state.

"I want her out, Seokjin! Make her go away!" Sin-ae wailed in her son's arm.

Your older brother embraced her tight. He was looking at you using those puppy eyes.

"I'm so sorry," he shook his head at you and then he mumbled "please leave..."

Off you go.

You were defeated anyway. Two versus one. How could you fight your family?

You were exhausted. Both from your long flight and dealing with Sin-ae. Your head hurt too.

You needed coffee to help you sober up. Fuck wine. Fuck Sin-ae. Fuck this stupid vending machine.

Why couldn't you have your coffee?

It was fucking stuck.

You breathed heavily while massaging your temple.

You hadn't recovered from your throbbing head when a new wave of pain engulfed you.

Someone called your name.

Not just someone.

You knew that voice well.

You turned your head to the side slowly.

You saw the person who called you.

"Soojin..." It was Jungkook who called your name, but what you uttered was your sister's name.

He was with her. Jungkook was standing behind Soojin's wheelchair.

Baby I'm falling head over heels

Your breathing hitched while looking at the both of them.

It was just like in movies. You know, when your eyes sparkled when you saw someone you loved after a very long time.

Looking for ways to let you know just how I feel

You called Soojin yet your eyes were focused on your best friend. The friend you hadn't seen in years.

I wish I was holding you by my side

His voice was soft when he uttered your name. But just like Sin-ae, his eyes changed too.

Indifference.

He was no longer looking at you with fire in his eyes.

I wouldn't change a thing 'cause finally it's real

It was like he's a completely different person. It hurt looking at him like this, like he didn't recognize you, like he was debating if you were real or not.

Were you really here? Or were you just a fragment of his imagination?

You walked towards them, causing Jungkook to flinch.

His chest felt heavy. He gripped the push handle of Soojin's wheelchair with force.

You were standing near them now.

Jungkook blinked.

He wasn't hesitating anymore.

You were definitely here.

I'm tryin' to hold back, you ought to know that

"Hi..." You said to Soojin, voice wavering. It hurt seeing her like this. She had a cervical collar on. It was difficult for her to speak.

You crouched down as you smiled softly at your sister.

Jungkook watched you. He was holding himself back. It wasn't the right time to hold you in his arms.

You're the one that's on my mind

He missed you though. More than so much. Two years and you were still running inside his mind.

I'm falling too fast deeply in love

Everything was dawning to him too fast.

Two years and he still loved you.

Time was irrelevant.

It went slow when you weren't around. He thought those painfully long moments without you by his side were enough to forget his feelings for you.

Finding the magic in the colors of you

Apparently, it wasn't enough. He stared hard at you, like he was looking for something.

Love? Affection? Anger? Longing?

He would take anything you could offer, because after all this time, he was still in love with you.

Little did he know, you felt the same way too.

For Jungkook, you're the right time at the right moment

But as you straighten your back and met his gaze, you realized something:

For you, he was the wrong time at the wrong moment.

A/N: my mom asked me if i was planning to write fics tonight or workout. i chose the former because MAN my body is so sore i don’t think i’ll be able to move properly. 😩 standing workout IS NOT easier than sitting workouts!!!!! ANYWAY i know there aren’t many jk x oc moments in the past chapters....so ✌️

[chaeiimimi]

Chilly

Akaashi Keiji X Reader 

Genre: slight angst 

Tokyo has always been a busy city. A lot of people walking down the streets, some were talking on the phone, some were anxiously staring at their watches and some were just having a peaceful evening walk. 

It was the holiday season, so there’s no shock that the busy streets of the city was filled with couples more than usual. Two people in love with each other, being in each other’s arm as they stared at each other with love-struck eyes. Love seemed to fill the air of Tokyo and the giant tree in the middle of the city made it even better.

But then there you were, a single salary woman who can’t get into a relationship after her break-up three years ago

you stared at the window of the café you. were staying in, looking at a diversity of couples that walk by every few seconds

“geez even grade schoolers have dates” you mumble to yourself as you took a sip of your latte

It’s not like you haven’t tried dating, you’ve met up with a lot of people, every gender but you can’t seem to find someone who can satisfy you, even your friends had to get involved in your dating life, making profiles for you on online dating apps and even setting you up with people they know ranging from their friends to their colleagues and even their family members, but nothing clicked.

after trying for two years you eventually gave up “the right person will come at the right time” you told yourself over and over again

well seems like that person is taking their precious time

"wow talk about looking miserable*

Your head jolted up and saw non other than Bokuto Koutarou standing in front of you with about six different kinds of cake

You scoffed at him as he sat down in front of you

"I think Iwaizumi wouldn't be happy if he sees you eating that Kou" you pointed out to your athlete cousin

"don't worry I'll do extra workouts at home" he says as he begins to dive in the chocolate mousse cake

After being tied with him since like the day you were born, you are now convinced that Bokuto Koutarou will never grow up

"By the way, are you coming next friday?" he asked as he takes another bite of his cake

You tilted your head in confusion

"Akaashi's enggagement party" he looks at you eyes held a hint of worry

"yeah" you nodded

A comfortable silence engulfed the two of you as you stared at the couples passing by again

Do you ever think about me?

"Keiji, what do you want to do for christmas?" you asked your boyfriend who was immersed in his book

He quickly looks up to you his eyes soft

"whatever you want to do love" he said this with the most gentle voice

"but I want you to enjoy the holidays too" you whined and plopped down the couch beside him

"being with you is already enough for me" he says as he leans in to you and gave your shoulder a kiss before resting his head on your shoulders as he continues to read

You smiled ruffling his hair your heart beating a little faster and louder than usual because you knew you felt the same way

When she ain't around, is your bed cold without me?

"Keiji let go I need to make breakfast!" you try to pry your boyfriend's hands off your waist but he just held on to you tighter

"but its a weekend~" he whined

You sighed, he's always like this when he's sleepy especially in the mornings

"but we need to eat, we have plans remember?" you try to convince him

"but I want to cuddle more"

imnotgivinginimnotgivinginimnotgivingini you replayed this pharse for a hundred times in your head now

"how about you stay in bed while i make breakfast yeah?" you try again

Manz quickly shook his head "don't want, the bed's too cold without you"

Well that crumbled your resolve, you just went "screw it" and laid in your bed nuzzling your face on the crook of your boyfriend's neck

Yeah you ended up starting your day two hours late than your original plan

Does her love feels just the same?

"Keiji you need to rest! You're going to get sick!" this is the sixth time you tried to tell him that, you try to pry off the stylus pen on his hand but he just swatted you away

"I need to finish this" he says plainly and continues with his task

"no Keiji, you are not pulling a third all-nighter, I'm not gonna let you ruin your body"

"geez can't you just leave me alone?! you're always nagging and it's very annoying, unlike you, I care about my career"

His sudden outburst made you quiet, you knew that this project was important to Keiji, but he haven't had sleep in like three days, he barely eats and has already consumed a lot of coffee

You only wanted him to take care of his body is that too much to ask?

Your boyfriend's eyes suddenly widen at the realization of what he said

"I-" he couldn't form a form a proper sentence, it seems like fatigue was already hitting his system

You stepped closer to him and gently carass his face "I know love, we can talk about this later, but you need to sleep right now, please, I'll wake you up so that you can finish it on time okay?"

He looks at you, eyes tired, tears threatening to fall down but still had the softness that was only there for you

He nods and encircled his arms on your waist pulling you closer as he nuzzled his face on the crook of your neck

"c'mere big guy, lets get you to bed"

Is she the one to take your last name?

You were cooking dinner for you and your boyfriend who will arrive any moment now

You hummed to yourself as you stir the soup you were making

Too occupied to notice the arrival of your boyfriend, you only noticed when you felt strong arms encircling your waist

"Keiji don't scare me like that!" you scold him

He chuckled and kissed your cheeks "i'm sorry love, you just looked too perfect, I can't wait to marry you"

Whatever the case, I'm glad you're happy

"So this is it huh?" you stared at your now ex-boyfriend tears streaming down your face non-stop

"I'm sorry, things are just not the same anymore" he was also crying

How you ended up this way, nobody knows

"don't apologise, it was the best five years, i hope the best for you, I'll be packing my stuff now" you ended the conversation abruptly not trusting your voice, you immediately got up and entered your room making sure to lock it, only then were you able to let out the whimpers and hiccups you've been trying to hold in

You sighed, it happened three years ago, you were already over it

You stared at Akaashi who was now greeting some of his visitors with his fiance in his arms

His eyes landed on you and you gave him a soft smile, lifted your glasses and mouthed "congratulations"

He also smiled at you and nodded proceeding to talk to more of the guests

You looked down at your drink and let yourself sigh for the second time, your ex is getting married and here you are still single as a pringle

After catching up with some old friends and a little bit of drink you decided it was time to head home

As soon as you stepped out of the venue, the chilly air greeted you, you immediately shivered, you were wearing slacks and a thick long sleeve top and your house was like three blocks away so you didn't feel the need to bring a coat

"geez i forgot its December" you said to yourself as you rubbed your arm in attempt to keep you warm

This was stopped when you felt a coat drape over you

You looked up to see where it came from and a sight of a tall black-haired boy greeted you, judging by the way he dressed, it was clear that he was from the party as well, he also looked very familiar

"uhm-" you were about to take off the jacket when he said

"keep it on, you look like you need it" you decided to not take it off because he was right and he didn't look suspicious but you were still on guard

"thanks" you gave him a small smile

He just nodded but a hint of redness was evident at the tip of his ears, you assumed it was just because of the cold

"I'm Y/N by the way, L/N Y/N" you introduced yourself

"Kageyama, Kageyama Tobio"

[captainjanegay]

Where I’m Meant to Be | Stucky | Meet-Cute, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Kid Fic, No powers AU | Chapters 7/? | total 29k words | Ao3

Summary: Bucky is a single dad coming back from a work trip with a very bored, very whiney 7-year-old girl. A mysterious stranger with a kind heart and a notebook full of doodles comes to the rescue.

A/N: It's been... so long since I've updated this fic. I'm sorry but life got in the way and I couldn't bring myself to write anything. Here I come with apologies and hopes that you haven't forgotten about the adventures of Bucky, Alex and Steve. I'm gonna treat you with the longest chapter I've ever written (it's like 5.3k). I hope you'll like it, I got a bit carried away and my space-nerdiness is showing every now and then.

The chapters will probably come very irregularly from now on but I'll try my best not to have too long gaps between each update. I love you all and — as always — thank you so, so much for your continuous support. I cherish every single reader, every single like and every single comment you leave here :')

Chapter 7

(5.2k)

When Monday rolls around, Bucky faces New York’s chilly morning as he makes his way to work. It’s been only a few days since he got sick, but he feels significantly better now. His nose might still be stuffed and his throat might feel a bit scratchy, but he is mostly fine. No more coughing fits, no more fever. And it’s not like he could say no when his boss called him to check how he was doing and ask if he’d be able to come by before Christmas to do some required maintenance work.

But it’s fine, since the work at the Institute has slowed down, many people have already taken their days off for the Christmas break. It’s calmer than usual and Bucky can do whatever he’s supposed to do in peace.

It's a bit past noon and Bucky's mindlessly staring at the progress bar on his screen and enjoys his coffee. The peace and quiet — excluding his Christmas playlist playing in the background — is disturbed by the ringing of his phone. Slightly startled, Bucky looks around, searching for the device. After a quick glance at the screen, he answers the call.

"Hi, Buck!" Steve says, his voice soft and warm. "I hope I didn't wake you up or anything. Just wanted to check up on you, see how you're feeling."

"That's very sweet of you," Bucky says, his lips spreading in a smile. "And I'm fine, thank you. Currently waiting for the data backup to finish so you've disrupted my staring contest with the progress bar."

Steve doesn't appreciate the joke. Instead, he asks, "You're at work?" After receiving an affirmative hum, he lets out a slightly annoyed huff. "Why? You should still be in bed! Three days ago you've been barely able to get up for longer than 10 minutes. You should still rest, Buck."

"It's been six days ago, thank you very much," Bucky answers. "And I'm fine, Steve. I promise. I wouldn't come if I was still feeling sick, but the fever's been gone for a few days," two but Steve doesn't have to know that, "and I'm not coughing anymore. I'm as fit as a fiddle."

"I can hear you sniffle."

"It's the allergies," Bucky lies and that makes Steve laugh, although a bit exasperated.

"You're horrible," he says. "Bet you haven't even eaten breakfast or drink enough water or like... didn’t even wear a hat even though you’re sick."

"I did have a toast while I ran to catch the train. And now I'm having coffee for lunch. And it’s not even that cold."

An honest-to-God gasp escapes Steve's mouth after he hears that. Of course he's a Mr. Healthy Lifestyle, Bucky shouldn't even be surprised.

"How are you even functioning? You gotta take care of yourself, Buck."

Bucky's heart skips a bit. It's nice to have someone worry about him. Even if he's being dragged in the meantime. And it was nice when Steve took care of him and Alex back when Bucky was too sick to do this. Of course, he has people who do that. Clint, Tasha, Scott -- he can always count on them. But somehow it feels different with Steve. Steve hasn't been around for years like the others, he's known Bucky for just a few months and he still decided to offer his kindness and care. This thought made Bucky's heart do somersaults in his chest.

So did the fact that Steve had a nickname to Bucky's nickname. And he's been using it a lot. Bucky really likes it.

"I'm functioning very well, thank you. And so is Alex, because I'm not as hopeless in taking care of her, luckily," Bucky chuckles. Before Steve can't say anything, Bucky adds, "Besides, I've been able to survive 28 years like this so don't be overdramatic. No need to go all mother hen on me."

"Oh, you think this is overdramatic?" Steve asks, amused. "You clearly don't know what me being overdramatic is, pal. This is just some simple, friendly check-in."

"Okay, now I'm kinda curious," Bucky says. His cheeks hurt from smiling so much. "Hypothetically, what would one have to do to see what is Steve Rogers's definition of overdramatic?"

It makes Steve let out another laugh. "Careful what you wish for, Buck." It sounds like Steve wants to say something else but there's some noise in the background and his voice becomes distant and inaudible for a moment. When he comes back, he says with a sigh, "Sorry 'bout that. I need to go back to work. I'm glad you're feeling better but eat a proper meal or I'll hunt you down."

"Oh, so no mother hen anymore, were going straight to threats, okay." Bucky nods to himself and Steve huffs out a laugh. "Thanks for the call, Steve. It's very sweet of you. Have a nice day."

"You, too. Say hi to Alex from me."

"I will. Bye, Steve."

.

A small smile is still present on Bucky's face when a few hours later he's picking Alex up from school. It grows bigger when she runs towards him down the stairs, her haphazardly wrapped scarf fluttering behind her. He takes a moment to tuck it properly and then takes Alex's backpack from her.

“How was school today?” Bucky asks as they head home.

“Fine. We played soccer and I scored once!” Alex answers proudly. “Even Adrian didn’t and he’s very good. Maya didn’t want to play ‘cause she says girls shouldn’t play soccer.”

“Jokes on her, because we have a women’s national soccer team and they’re the best. They’re the world champions.”

A gasps escapes Alex’s mouth. “Really? That’s so cool! I want to be a soccer player when I grow up!”

“Not a ballerina, anymore?” Bucky asks, with a small smile.

“No, I’m gonna be a ballerina but I’m gonna play soccer sometimes, too. But that’s after I’ll fly to the moon!”

Bucky only nods and grins at her. He wouldn’t be surprised in the least if she actually pulled that off in the future. There weren’t many things that could stop her since she decided upon something.

“How’s space?” Alex asks, swinging their hands back and forth.

Bucky chuckles. It’s a bit of a tradition at this point. He doesn’t really remember how it started but now she never asks him “how’s work” but it’s always “how’s space?”. Personally, Bucky loves it. It makes him feel like he’s doing much cooler things that he really does.

“Pretty boring, sadly,” he admits. “Didn’t have much to do today and many people are on their breaks so no fun space facts to share today. I chatted on the phone with Steve and he wanted me to say hi to you.”

“Oh, is he coming over today?”

Slightly confused with the question, Bucky shakes his head. “No, he’s not. We just talked on the phone. Why?”

“I don’t know, I thought you liked Steve.”

“Well, I do. I like uncle Scott too but we don’t hang out with him every day, either. Steve has his own life and stuff to do, so we shouldn’t bother him all the time.”

Alex makes a small hum and Bucky’s not sure if it’s a dismissive or an agreeing one. After a moment, she adds, “I bet he wouldn’t mind though. He told me he really likes you.”

“What? When?” The revelation almost makes Bucky stop in the middle of the pavement. The biggest surprise is not that Steve likes him, Bucky has figured out this much after all those times they’ve hung out together. What really takes him aback is that apparently his daughter and Steve are having conversations about him when he’s not there.

“When you were sick and Steve went to ballet class with me. I told him he’s cool and I’m happy you have him so you’re not so lonely. And he said he thinks we’re really cool too and that he likes us a lot.”

This time Bucky slows down and eventually stops. There’s a furrow between his brows when he looks at Alex.

“Why would you think I’m lonely, munchkin? I’m not, I have you and mama, uncle Clint and Scott. And now Steve. I’m more than fine.”

“Well… Okay, maybe I didn’t mean lonely. But sometimes when you have a lot to do and you worry and mama or uncle Clint are busy you do this—” Alex furrows her brows and pouts, apparently imitating a worried Bucky “and you’re quiet and worried. And now you smile even more than you did. You smile all the time when you text Steve.”

For a moment, Bucky only gapes at her, not sure how to react. That’s a lot of information coming at once from his 7-year-old daughter.

“I’m— Well, I’m okay, even if I worry sometimes. And I couldn’t be lonely, having such a sweet little munchkin by my side,” he smiles, bopping her on the nose and getting a smile in return. “But thank you for caring about me, sweetheart. I love you to the moon and back.”

“And I love you to Jupiter!” she answers.

“But not back?” Bucky raises an eyebrow.

“Nah, it’s already so far away, it’s enough.”

The conversation with Alex stays in Bucky’s head for the rest of the day. It’s gnawing at him enough that before he goes to bed, he takes out his phone and calls Natasha.

“How’s my favourite co-parent doing?” she greets.

“Do you have any more co-parents?” Bucky asks instead of answering.

“Nope. That’s what makes you my favourite.” Bucky only sighs so she continues. “Did something happen? You’re usually in the mood for late night conversation when something’s on your mind.”

There’s no point in denying it since Natasha would see right through him. “It’s nothing bad. Apparently Alex thinks I’m lonely.”

“Well, she’s not wrong.”

“What? Tasha, no. I’m not lonely, where did you two get that idea?”

“James, it’s not my fault that you’re an idiot. I know that you have people who love you around. You know that, too. But I know and you also should know — but here’s the ‘idiot’ part — that it might not be enough sometimes. And I’m pretty sure we’ve had a similar conversation like a month ago, so I don’t know why you act all surprised now.”

“Remind me, why did I even call you?”

“Because I am incredible and you value my opinion like no one else’s and also you love me deeply,” Natasha explains dutifully. 

Bucky huffs out a laugh as he sits heavily on the side of his bed. His eyes land on the comic from Steve, still laying on Bucky’s bedside table, propped against the lamp. “Sounds fake, but okay.”

“Did our daughter have any more revelations for you?” Natasha asks.

“Well…,” Bucky hesitates for a moment. “She and Steve gossip about me when I’m not around. And apparently I’ve been smiling more lately. But that’s about it.” 

Natasha hums but even through the phone Bucky can hear that she’s rather amused. 

"What?" Bucky asks.

"I didn't say anything!"

"I can hear you laughing, just say whatever mean thing you're going to say and let's get this over with."

"I'm not gonna say anything mean! I was just wondering when we'd mention Steve in this conversation," she chuckles. "But really. Even your daughter can see that a relationship would be good for you. And that you like Steve a lot. Why not kill two birds with one Steve?"

Bucky sighs. "Because one Steve is also enough to kill this friendship we have."

"Why do you always just automatically assume that things will get fucked? It doesn't have to be the case. I'm serious, you'd better take a grip on yourself and ask him out or I'm back in three days and I'll do this for you. And I'll be as obnoxious and embarrassing for you as I can."

That's actually a pretty horrible threat. She would do that. And it would be both mortifying and horrible to experience for all the involved parties — maybe except Natasha. Bucky laughs, trying to imagine it, but the laugh is short-lived.

"Come on, Nat," Bucky starts after a moment, getting serious. "Steve is great and it's great having him around. But what if I make a move and he's not interested? I don't want to freak him out. Or remember that message I accidentally saw on his computer? He might be seeing someone already or be interested in someone else," Bucky pinches the bridge of his nose. "Plus, I know from experience that no matter how much he might seem to like me, a guy with a kid can turn out to be a bit much for people. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want Alex to get hurt. She adores Steve and I don't know if I can risk it."

"But I'm telling you, nobody's getting hurt anytime soon," Natasha chimes in. "You're overthinking, Yasha. Those are all valid concerns but you know what the counterargument is?" She takes a small break but she's not expecting Bucky to respond. "Steve's a good guy. He likes you. He likes Alex. He came to a primary school dance recital after knowing you for like a week just because you and Alex asked him to. Even if he doesn't want a relationship, it doesn’t mean that your friendship has to end. From all you've told me, he doesn't seem like the kind to trample on your hearts like this. Give yourself some time, but promise me you're gonna think about it, okay? And call me if you work yourself up into an anxious mess again, okay?”

“I will try not to be an anxious mess, but I’ll let you know. And I’ll think about it. Thanks, Tasha.” Bucky says.

“I love you no matter what, you dumbfuck. Bye.”

Bucky barely manages to say it back before she hangs up. He shakes his head with a small smile and retrieves his charger cable from behind the bedside table. As he plugs his phone, he accidentally knocks down the drawing from Steve. He picks it up, staring at the soft lines for who-knows-which time. His thumb gently traces the “Get well soon, Buck! x” scribbled at the bottom.

Looking at it, Bucky imagines the moment when Steve was writing it down. In his mind, he sees both Steve and Alexandra at the kitchen table, both leaning over their respective pieces of paper, focused on whatever they’re drawing. They are smiling, chatting about whatever common interest they’ve currently discovered. It’s a very nice picture. Enough to make Bucky’s heart ache.

Because Natasha is right. This is exactly what Bucky craves and what he’s been ignoring for years. That domesticity, that warm feeling one gets when looking at someone they care about. That happiness. He can almost imagine himself joining the picture he’s created in his head, walking over to that table and dropping a kiss first on Alex’s head and then on Steve’s, before he starts preparing the dinner. It feels right. 

Maybe it’s not usual to imagine this calm, family life with someone he’s not even in a relationship with. Most people probably think of tons of other things, things that are not so… settled. Not as serious. Sometimes they never reach this part. But Bucky has figured a while ago that it doesn’t really work for him. He already has a family. And this family means everything and more to him. If he ever was to date, he has to make sure that the person would fit into his and Alexandra’s life. He has to skip ahead to make sure it’s worth going through the dates and the passion and all the work a relationship requires, without it all ending in a heartbreak. But Steve… 

Steve fits so well into this picture, it scares Bucky a bit. Because this would be even harder to let go, if things didn't work out.

It's pretty clear, now that he allows himself to think about it, that he has some feelings for Steve. Besides the friendliness and sympathy, that is. They're the romantic kind and they're still fresh and shy but they're here. And Bucky has absolutely no clue how to deal with them. It's not even that surprising, he realises. Because how could he not catch feelings for Steve? For the kindest, most thoughtful and most selfless person in the world? For someone with his heart made of gold, who always knows how to make Bucky laugh? Someone who gets so passionate about the things he loves and just as much about the ones he despises? Who cares deeply, laughs with his whole body and who next to all this softness and kindness, is also a stubborn little asshole? Who — and this is the most important of all — adores Alex and whom she adores just as much?

Bucky's heart was a lost cause from the start.

Steve has a lot of qualities that Bucky would fall for if he looked for a partner. And that he accidentally might have fallen for anyway. And that's all without even mentioning that Steve is so ridiculously attractive that it might've skewed Bucky's view on beauty forever. 

The point is — Natasha is right. That this could be a good thing. They could be a good thing. But what they have now is already good and Bucky really values this friendship. He isn't sure if pursuing a hypothetical picture in his head is worth putting it at risk. Because he still can't be sure if Steve's interested. For what Bucky knows, he's kind and caring towards all of his friends. It doesn't mean that Bucky and Alex are special. 

He can almost hear Natasha's voice in his head, calling him an idiot and yelling that he won't know until he tries. Which is right, since Natasha always is. It doesn't help him stop the — partially excited but mostly terrified — somersaults his insides make. With a small sigh, he puts the drawing on its place by the lamp, flicks off the lights and burrows himself under the covers. He doesn't have to have everything figured out straight away. Letting himself even consider it is a big enough step for now, he decides as he drifts off to sleep.

.

The next day is Bucky's last day at work before the Christmas break. He doesn't really have much to do, just finishing some last updates and dealing with whatever paperwork he was putting off earlier. Most of the time, he chats with Scott, who has been wandering aimlessly around the institute for the lack of work and eventually landed in Bucky's tiny office. They've been chatting about their Christmas plans — nothing too elaborate for both of them, just simple time at home with their families — and now they started discussing where they should go to grab some lunch. Just as Bucky almost convinced Scott that they should go to this sushi place down the block instead of the Italian place, there's a knock on the door.

Bucky sends his friend a confused look.

"It wasn't me," Scott raises his hands in defence.

"Come in," Bucky calls after another second passes. It's probably someone having a last-minute computer problem or one of his co-workers wanting to drop by with Christmas wishes.

Except, when the door cracks open, Steve's head pokes in. Its hair is messy, its cheeks reddened from the cold and its lips spread in a smile.

"Hi, Buck. And hi Scott, it's nice to see you again," he says. "I'm not interrupting?"

And because Bucky's brain is still processing the fact that for some reason Steve's come to visit him at work, Scott's the one who says, "Not at all, come in."

Steve hesitates for another second. Bucky's brain finally kicks in and he smiles which is apparently the invitation Steve needed, because he finally fully walks into the office.

"Hi, Steve. I didn't expect you here," Bucky says, his smile growing bigger.

"Well, you should. Because after our talk yesterday, I decided to bring you lunch," Steve says, proudly showing a big paper bag in his hand. "I told you you haven't seen shit, and especially not overdramatic me."

This makes Bucky laugh out loud as he shakes his head in disbelief. How is Steve even real?

Scott is watching them with a slightly confused but endeared smile on his face. Before anyone can say anything, he gets up from the chair, slapping his thighs as he does.

"Okay then, I'll leave you to it," he says, walking towards the door.

"There's plenty to share, if you want to join us," Steve offers, because of course he does. His gold-heartedness wouldn't have it any other way.

But Scott only shakes his head at that. "Nah, I'm in the mood for some sushi today. Thanks, though."

"Asshole," Bucky narrows his eyes at Scott. "I hope you'd choke on it."

His friend only laughs at that, "Enjoy your lunch date! It's been great to see you, Steve. Merry Christmas."

"You too, Scott. Say hi to Hope and Cassie from me."

With one last grin aimed at Bucky — and a very pointed look behind Steve's back — Scott leaves them alone. Bucky tries not to dwell on the fact that Steve didn't even bat an eye when Scott called it a lunch date.

"Why should he choke?" Steve asks with a chuckle.

"I've been trying to talk him into going to that sushi place for almost twenty minutes before you came," Bucky sighs and then notices that Steve is still hovering by the door. "Come on, take your coat off and sit down. I can't believe you've brought me lunch."

Steve shrugs off his coat and leaves it on the hanger by the door, next to Bucky's. Today he's wearing a maroon sweater that really suits him and a pair of dark jeans. He pushes his sleeves up before he digs into the bag and Bucky tries not to stare too obviously.

"Someone's got to make sure you eat, since after yesterday I've gotten an idea you're not good at it yourself," Steve says. "Guess it wasn't necessary. Sadly, I don't have sushi but maybe you're in the mood for Thai?"

"Depends on whether you've brought me the dumplings or not," Bucky answers.

Steve laughs in response and takes out one of the boxes and hands it to Bucky. "I did. I also have green curry for you? I hope I remembered correctly that you like it? If not, I'm sorry, we can switch—"

"Steve." Bucky says solemnly, placing his hand on Steve's forearm, to stop him from fumbling with the food. "You not only brought me food but you remembered my favourite after I mentioned it one time. You are an angel. You should hide it better, because you make us mortals look bad."

He's only half joking. Steve does seem like a higher being of some sorts and it's unfair that Bucky's poor heart is supposed to handle it. It doesn't do a great job. Especially not when Steve laughs, his eyes crinkle so much they turn into thin slits.

"And I am the overdramatic one?" Steve asks, unpacking the last things and finally sitting on the chair across from Bucky. He's still smiling but there's a blush colouring his cheeks and creeping down his neck.

Bucky bites the inside of his cheek to contain a grin but the truth is, he's immensely proud of himself for pulling this reaction out of Steve. To stop himself from saying something stupid, he digs into his food.

"By the way, how did you find me here?" Bucky asks, his tongue sticking out a bit in concentration as he fishes for a dumpling with his chopsticks. 

"Clara let me know where your office is, she was very helpful."

Bucky furrows his brows. The surprise makes him drop his dumpling back into the container. "Clara, as in Clara Oswald, our receptionist? How do you know her?"

"I don't. We've chatted for a few minutes and I explained why I'm here and she told me how to get to you."

"Ah, of course it took you about five minutes to charm her and get into a government building just like that," Bucky chuckles.

"I didn't charm anyone! I just politely asked and she helped!"

If it wasn't Steve, Bucky would take it as fake modesty. But the truth is that Steve really seems to be completely oblivious to the effect he has on people. It’s endearing to see him do this.

"So here's when you do your cool space stuff?" Steve asks, changing the subject.

"Here's when the real scientists come searching for help when there's some IT-related issue," Bucky corrects him. "I don't do anything cool. I make sure all the data is where it's supposed to be and that whatever equipment they need is ready and working properly. Or part of it, Scott's an engineer and he takes care of the rest. I do get to read some space facts first hand, though."

"That's still cool space stuff for me," Steve shrugs with a small smile. "What kinds of things are you researching here? Like some particular aspects of outer space, or—?"

Normally Bucky would just give the shortest answer possible. People usually get bored quickly when he starts talking about it. But something in the genuine interest on Steve's face, the way he is looking around the office — which is nothing special, the only nice things are the sky maps and some spaced themed art  — makes Bucky think that maybe Steve wouldn't mind getting the longer answer.

"Well, we mostly study the weather. Both the Earth's and the one in the solar system, like the solar winds and magnetic storms, stuff like that. We study exoplanets and try to discover or guess as much as we can about them," Bucky says. "I helped to create simulations that predicted how they could look like and develop, to see if there's a possibility to inhabit them. We did it by basically dumping all the data we have into an elaborate computer programme and waiting to see what comes out." Bucky laughs and Steve does too, but he has the look of utter fascination on his face as he listens. "And all this helps with some more down-to-earth stuff — pun not intended. Like, we've done tons of studies in climate change."

"That's—," Steve starts when he makes sure that Bucky's done. "All of this sounds incredible. And you're a part of all those amazing things, how great is that?"

Bucky feels that his cheeks start to burn. There's another reason he usually sticks with the short answer. As much as he's proud to be working here and as much as he loves it, the impostor in him always makes sure that he understands the difference between his work and the actual research, analysis and all the heavy lifting that the astronomers do. He helps, of course he does. He does a great job at it, but there's still a difference. And such praise usually makes him squirm uncomfortably.

"And don't even try to get all modest with me again," Steve warns as if he's been reading Bucky's mind. "You've said that you don't do cool space stuff and then admitted that you've helped to create a program to imagine how exoplanets can look and change. So I know you're full of bullshit."

Steve raises an eyebrow in what's supposed to be an unimpressed look but it's not even close. The smile and the curious, bright eyes that are stating right at Bucky are destroying the effect. The blush on Bucky's cheeks only deepens, especially as Steve adds. "I've been impressed before but— Wow. Really, you guys are doing such incredible things here, I can’t wrap my head around it."

"We really do," Bucky agrees, eventually.

The beaming smile Steve sends him feels like a reward Bucky didn't know he deserves.

"So you've always liked space? Or was it an accident that brought you here?" Steve asks.

"No, I've always loved it. It's just so fascinating and there's always so much more to learn about it," Bucky doesn't even try to hide his excitement. "I've never fully understood all the science behind it but I loved staring at the sky, trying to find all those constellations and planets and galaxies. I've figured a way to somehow connect it to what I was good at and make it my job. Which is amazing. But now I mostly stare at the computer screen instead of the stars. "

He doesn't want to sound ungrateful but he must admit that it does kill some of the fun. But not even the astronomers simply state up at the sky to admire the view.

Steve only nods in response. "Alex mentioned that you guys went on a trip out of town to watch the stars. It must've been great."

"We did! It was like… almost 2 years ago, I think? I borrowed one of those fancy telescopes they have here. I needed to pick Alex up every time, cause she was too small to reach it," Bucky laughs as he brings out the memories. "It was fun, we should do that again, sometime. But I don't have much time now, so it’ll have to wait."

"It does sound great," Steve smiles that soft smile again. "I hope you'd find some time as it gets warm enough for such trips. I bet Alex would be delighted."

"Yeah. I'll let you know if that happens, in case you'd like to join," Bucky says before he can think better of it.

There's more of the childlike excitement on Steve's face as Bucky mentions it so maybe it wasn't that bad of an idea.

An actual bad idea comes out of Bucky's mouth a bit later, just as Steve is getting ready to head out. Bucky's lunch break is long gone and forgotten, because it's been two hours that Steve spent here. He apologises for staying so long and the assurances that Bucky didn't have any more work to do doesn't help.

"I'm sorry for taking your mind away from your responsibilities, but it was great spending time with you," Steve says.

So of course, because Bucky's heart doesn't get any chance to regroup, he doesn't have time to think before he blurts out. "We should have dinner together."

It's certainly not something Steve was expecting to hear. He just stares at Bucky. Before he has a chance to say anything, Bucky continues, "I mean. You should come for dinner. Clint and Nat are always around for a dinner, sometime between Christmas and New Year's. If you don't have any plans, it would be great if you came. But it's okay if you can't or don't want to."

Another moment passes and Bucky tries not to squirm under Steve's gaze. Luckily, Steve finally blinks and smiles as he says, "No, Buck, of course I'd love to come! I don't have any particular plans, will probably hang out with Sam for most of the break but I'll have plenty of time."

"You could take Sam with you," Bucky adds. He desperately tries to regain the control of his own mouth. "It'd be great to finally meet him."

"I'll let him know, I bet he’d be happy to come, too. Thanks again for the invite," Steve smiles as he cracks open the door. With a little wave, he walks out of the office. "Bye, Buck. Have a nice day."

"You too, Steve," Bucky says to the already closing door.

When Steve's gone, Bucky exhales heavily through his mouth as he leans back in his chair. Both of his hands go up to thread through his hair, tugging at it lightly.

Apparently, he has a dinner to prepare.

taglist: @steverrogers​ @till-the-end-of-the-line-punk​ @buckyshappyending

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Jac & Amelia

Jac: So, you got your room 🙌 What other wins did freshers bring you? 😄 Amelia: Yeah, thank god Amelia: it's been full on enough without adding travel sickness Jac: Never going to fly when class starts either Jac: it's just slightly more inventive than coming down with the 'flu' every Monday morning, but not enough Amelia: bit intense to start crashing on my new friends floors too, I don't want to be THAT gay Jac: 😂 Jac: I doubt they'd mind Jac: but having a base that isn't totally covered in crochet decor is a plus Amelia: now that freshers is over and they're going to 🤞 they never see those hook ups again maybe Amelia: still, not the first impression I'm trying to make Jac: Oh God, tell me about it Jac: I am not trying to have people I've got to avoid for the next 7 odd years Jac: not trying to make it like home like that Amelia: very relatable Amelia: even though I have no need to count that high Jac: Is your course 3? or 4? Amelia: depends if I want to go to Canada, Denmark, Italy, Poland, Sweden, USA or the UK for a year Jac: Oh wow Jac: 🦪 Amelia: that emoji is the gayest Amelia: so yeah probably Jac: Very O'Keefe of you Jac: can't give up the 🎨 quite yet? Amelia: 😂 Jac: I've met THE perfect girl for you, oh my GOD Amelia: because I'm going to travel to Edinburgh for 🦪 after dodging a 3 hour commute Jac: She's American, you could convince her Cork has a lot to offer beside 🦪 Jac: but actually, she is UNBEARABLE, and I'm trying very hard to be nice and give everyone a chance rn Jac: she does Art History, despite the fact she seems to know less about art than I do Jac: doesn't stop her 🔊 Amelia: 💔 you put your mean girl years behind you too soon, I'm SO proud though Amelia: and I'm sure Savannah appreciates it just as much Jac: 😏 I can feel the sincerity Jac: I know though, talk about completely crazy Amelia: if you want sincerity I can totally believe she'd follow you there as if nothing happened Amelia: are you okay? Jac: I think the prestige probably beat the off-chance I'd also be there but I appreciate the belief Jac: Yeah, actually, I am Jac: it went well, better than I could've or would've imagined before Amelia: alright, that's a relief Amelia: not that it's been playing on my mind or anything since the ✨ livened up my feed Jac: I would've got in touch sooner Jac: It did cross my mind, that you'd see Jac: I also didn't wanna encroach on your freshers' experience at all, that idea won out Jac: It must've been a shock for you and all Amelia: I get it, because likewise obviously Amelia: plus you seemed like you were coping, and it's not the same as before, you have people to go to now if you aren't so Amelia: I don't know, it seemed too dramatic to come at you all !!!!!! Amelia: which is why I didn't Jac: I wouldn't have bitten your head off Jac: but I see and appreciate that logic Jac: not to mention previous experience would say I actually would so Jac: She's changed a lot too, in those 2 years Amelia: good Jac: Yeah, turns out she had a pretty rough time of it too Jac: which, obviously, but I wasn't really in a space to think too much about that back then Amelia: was likely to be more 🥀 than 🌹 living with her dad, and everything that happened with her mum Amelia: I'm not surprised even if I couldn't be very sympathetic then Jac: I can't believe I was zoned out Jac: I didn't even know about her mum Amelia: you had loads of your own shit going on, it'd be more unbelievable if you were tuned into hers Amelia: I didn't know how bad it was, or didn't want to hear it, whichever Jac: Jess made it sound like the world and his wife knew Jac: I feel awful Jac: but her mum is doing better now, and they're trying to mend their relationship, so, that's positive Amelia: it always feels like that in my 🏠 but I would've told you if I'd realised Jac: It isn't your fault remotely Jac: like you said, sympathy about it wasn't at the forefront of your mind Jac: and you can't be blamed there Amelia: I'm genuinely glad things are getting better, the last thing she needs is to feel like shit for leaving her mum again if they aren't Jac: I know you are, you aren't a monster Jac: even if you and Savannah had your differences, and the obvious situation from there 'til now Amelia: that's enough sincerity though, the last thing I need is Savannah Moore trying to be my friend again Amelia: you can keep her Jac: 😂 Alright Jac: about that though Jac: things have changed, between us too Amelia: okay Amelia: what does that mean? Jac: Well, I told her, this time Jac: that I'm not straight Jac: and neither is she Amelia: she really has fucking changed Jac: She hasn't also come out, there's no label on it or anything Jac: but she likes me back Jac: you deserve to know, and would, regardless of where we were in our relationship Jac: I'm sorry if it's not what you want to hear though Amelia: thanks, I guess Amelia: for not waiting for the 💍 announcement Jac: Things haven't moved quite that fast Jac: although, yeah Jac: I know Amelia: It's still Savannah, I doubt she's had a TOTAL personality transplant Amelia: you probably wouldn't like her if she had Amelia: so I'll keep an eye out for that post and put my congrats on it Jac: No, she's still her Jac: and I doubt her plans include a 💍 that could be bought on a student budget Amelia: true Amelia: I'll send some 💐 she'd NEVER put in the 🗑 Amelia: just the 💌 I'll actually bother to write, you know, like a normal person Jac: There goes the mystery Amelia: because of course you wouldn't recognise my handwriting Jac: I've checked your homework over enough times Jac: I doubt anyone else is rushing to send us a bouquet so Jac: process of elimination Amelia: there you go then Jac: but I have told my brother and that Jac: on the off-chance you catch him and he's dying not to bring it up Amelia: bit rude of him not to try and gently break the news Jac: Assumedly either thinking I've imagined the whole thing all over, or it'll all fizzle out before there's any need to go there Amelia: or I'm thriving so hard there's no need to bring me down 1 week in Jac: Obviously that too Jac: but you know that wasn't my intention, yeah Amelia: it's obvious you're not thinking about me, don't worry Jac: Okay Jac: do you want me to leave you now? Amelia: Why would I want that? Jac: Plenty of valid reasons Jac: to process, to not, you just don't feel like talking to me at this precise moment Amelia: what's to process? the bit about her not queerbaiting you the entire time is new, the rest isn't Jac: That's not nothing Jac: it changes the whole thing Amelia: not for me Jac: Alright then Amelia: you were hung up on her every second, what's changed for you is that was a least a bit mutual Amelia: I don't need to process any of that, it doesn't involve me Jac: It's still new information, that's all Amelia: not really Amelia: I probably should have guessed anyway Jac: If I didn't, I don't see how you could've Jac: she didn't even then so Amelia: too late to become a 🔮💎💫 gay, I hear you Jac: 🕵 is definitely a better idea Amelia: maybe I'd just really love to be able to say 'it's just a phase, mum' about something Jac: You've had plenty Amelia: name one Jac: [that boy band I said they liked lol] Jac: for starters Amelia: that wasn't a phase that was me lying that I cared Jac: yeah, okay Jac: you knew all the lyrics 'cos you cover was so deep Jac: no need to lie, they had some tunes Amelia: I knew all the lyrics because there was about 5 lines repeated over and over Jac: uh-huh Jac: you had badges all over your school bag Amelia: because you've never fully committed to a lie, oh wait Jac: There's no need to be a bitch Amelia: 😂 Jac: No, I'm not super ready to laugh about that time in my life, as it goes Amelia: okay Jac: I'm going to leave you to it now Jac: Good luck with your first proper day, hope it all goes well Amelia: actually wait though Amelia: I didn't mean that Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: Alright Jac: I know you're upset, or pissed off Jac: but being a better person doesn't extend to being a punching bag for you to get that out Jac: you can feel it, obviously, but that's just unproductive for you, and not gonna happen from my end Amelia: I know Jac: and I know that's what I did to you Jac: so it probably seems fair, or justified at least, that you get to now Jac: but it wasn't right, and an eye for an eye, you know Amelia: no, it's not fair, I wasn't being, that's why I'm sorry Jac: You don't need to stoop to my lowest Amelia: I'm trying, okay Jac: Yeah Jac: and I accept your apology Amelia: thanks Jac: should I not have told you? Amelia: I think that'd be worse Jac: I thought the same Jac: unless you were going to block me on the sly, then you would have seen Amelia: maybe I should now, I don't know Jac: If you want to Jac: to take some time Jac: or more permanently Jac: it's up to you Jac: obviously my offer of being friends still stands but I understand Jac: as I said, this changes things Amelia: yeah, if we let it Jac: You can't help how this makes you feel Amelia: but why should I let her take everything again? Jac: Savannah isn't actively doing that Jac: but if you want to keep trying, so do I Amelia: we worked hard at getting here, me and you, that's not about her Jac: True Jac: You don't have to be friends with her now, that's not it Jac: just accept that she's my girlfriend, and a big part of my life Amelia: does she know? Jac: About what happened between us? Jac: No Jac: she doesn't know a huge amount about those two years, for me Jac: I plan to tell her everything Jac: but it's a lot to throw at her in a sitting, especially unasked, you know Amelia: it'd really fuck with her freshers, for sure Jac: Right Jac: all for having the hard but necessary conversations Jac: but there's a time and a place Jac: I don't want her to feel like I'm trying to make her feel bad for me, either Jac: like 'look what YOU did' because nah Amelia: too 🥀🥀🥀 Amelia: it can wait, neither of you are going anywhere Jac: That's my logic Amelia: she'll get why you waited Jac: I hope so Amelia: come on, it'll be harder for you to say than it'll be for her to hear, she's a LOT of things, but she won't want you to go through that before you're ready to Jac: You're right Jac: it just feels like secrets, and that feels like 10 steps back Jac: but it isn't that Amelia: I'm sure even she hasn't had time to tell you everything, she'd need to be chatting non stop Jac: True Jac: if you're ever done talking about yourself and your life, that's gotta be a sign you need to get out more, right Jac: there's always more to say Amelia: right Amelia: stop being so virgo-ish about it and give yourself a break Jac: 😂 okay Jac: I just need lectures to actually start Jac: so I can freak out on that instead Amelia: same Jac: are you more 😁 or 😱 Amelia: 😕 Amelia: over 😣 Jac: You'll be fine Jac: let me know how it goes though Jac: I'm interested Amelia: okay 🤓 Jac: Well there's a lot of overlap Jac: obviously, you can usually do them as a double discipline but I wanted to go pure Psych Jac: doesn't mean I'm not 🤔 Amelia: yeah Jac: 🤏🤓 fine Amelia: we're not strangers Jac: I remember Jac: so, what are your new mates like then? Amelia: great, obviously Jac: It's a good thing you aren't taking English Jac: that description leaves a lot to be desired Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Isn't there anyone in particular? Amelia: there's a whole course full of people Jac: Yeah, I like one of my profs, he's really cool Jac: but I don't know anyone on my course that well yet either, they all seem nice enough though Amelia: of course you do Jac: it's so refreshing in comparison to the teachers at our school Jac: even if he acted like a base level human, it'd be a step up Jac: but he knows his stuff, and he's down to help me get ahead, what more could I want Amelia: literally nothing Jac: But I'm still not into dudes so I won't commit that cliche, don't worry Amelia: a real weight off my mind Jac: sure Amelia: 😏 Jac: I've already done loads of prep Jac: can basically chill in his class this whole term Amelia: you can but you won't Amelia: 🤓🏆⭐ Jac: we're not strangers Amelia: maybe we are 🤏 because reading's the only prep we were given but I've already done it Jac: Not really Jac: you just pretended you weren't 🤓 Amelia: no, I just actually wasn't 🤓 about school Jac: plenty of other things Jac: you can't hide the 🤓 Amelia: it's not 😳 I literally can Jac: not from me Amelia: that'd be 10 steps back Jac: try 10000 Amelia: no thank you, that sounds exhausting Jac: you've got a 🛏 Amelia: yeah, I don't know who's more thrilled, me or my dad Amelia: getting to pretend he's allergic to pets for another year at least Jac: result Jac: won't have to fake seduce him on your behalf either Jac: I'm most thrilled Amelia: Savannah is Amelia: undoubtedly Jac: Yeah, that ain't something I ever want to explain 😂 Amelia: she'd be less understanding about it Jac: None of us are understanding that Jac: sorry to your father Amelia: 😂 Jac: I think your mum would snap Jac: go full psycho Amelia: probably Amelia: they're very 😍🥰😘 right now Jac: that's nice Jac: bit gross but good Jac: she won't call you every 10 minutes Amelia: she can try but I won't answer Amelia: the friend I like best will be here soon Jac: Sounds promising Jac: I'll leave you to it for now, for real Jac: you better get ready Amelia: you're so Amelia: you Jac: what does that mean? Amelia: I don't need 👗👠💄 Jac: what's that, a humblebrag? Amelia: hardly Amelia: it's a compliment for you, you're cute for caring Jac: It's not cute, I just like to look nice Amelia: oh so you don't think I look nice? Amelia: rude Jac: everyone looks better for effort Jac: that's simple facts Amelia: anyway, I meant it's cute you care about my social life this much Jac: because I really need you being a loner to worry about Jac: no tah Jac: obviously I'm happy for you Amelia: you don't need to worry about me whatever happens Jac: It's not optional Amelia: okay Jac: I never stopped Amelia: you can stop now Jac: That's just what being friends is Amelia: I'm no expert Amelia: have to take your word for it, if anything Jac: I know you care about me too Amelia: but you're thriving so I don't have to worry Jac: I guess Jac: it's not just for the bad times though, is it Amelia: I hope not Jac: it's not Jac: come on Jac: pull yourself together and at least do 1 out of 3 👗👠💄 Amelia: fine, I'll put shoes on Jac: that's what I like to hear Amelia: 🙄 just because I'm ignoring my mum there's no need for you to take over from her Jac: I still can't do any handicrafts so unlikely Amelia: Savannah is unlikely to wear a homemade 🧣 so I think you're fine Jac: she loves anything thoughtful but I ain't gonna start there still Amelia: 💐 Jac: Naturally Jac: both our rooms look like a florist already Jac: makes up for the shabby walls and carpet you can't do much about Amelia: any time you'd like to fully lean into the 👵 I'll do you an embroidery hoop or something Amelia: very chic Jac: they do sell a lot of that sort of thing in the charity shops Jac: I'm sure your 🎨 will be better than whatever the actual 👵 decided to do 🖼 Amelia: SUCH a compliment, I have no idea how I'm not 😳 Jac: Charity shops are in Jac: I'm not going to call it thrifting, I'm not even half-American, wouldn't be able to take myself seriously Amelia: good, please don't Jac: vintage, upcycling, all acceptable Amelia: for my mother Amelia: I'll take how 'modern' my room here is Jac: I suppose that does make a change Jac: I love the buildings though, the architecture Amelia: 🎨 Amelia: yeah, would be inspiring if I had any time Jac: Is Cork by the coast? Jac: I know nothing about that area Jac: I'm like NEXT to the beach, it's incredible Amelia: it's one of the largest natural harbours in the world, if that doesn't make you want to come and visit me, well ?? Amelia: it has it's own lovely architecture Jac: You should work for the tourism board, honestly Jac: good speech, that Amelia: 🤷🏻 Amelia: I'm here for the 🤓 and you're already interested in that Jac: I'd go to Italy, if I were you Jac: but then, Denmark might have the most interesting criminal practices and laws, so that's a good choice too Amelia: you'll visit me there then, yeah? Jac: I forgot about Sweden, but those three are the real ones to consider Jac: and we can sort visiting when we're even a bit settled Amelia: okay Jac: we've only just left Amelia: thanks for that obvious reminder Jac: 😏 Jac: you know what I mean Jac: give me a chance to get my diary in order before you're saying I'm avoiding you or whatever Amelia: give you a chance to miss me, you mean Amelia: you've got one right now, because I have to go get ready Jac: Oh, if we had to wait for that, you'd never see me again 😉 Jac: have fun 👠👠 Amelia: 💔 Amelia: bye

[erikawritesss]

✨Old Story Piece: “Mine.”

I title the things I write sometimes. Taylor’s name (is one I love for some reason) and apparently a while ago when I wrote a requested blog ..... I like stole the idea and look of her (name, personality, etc) and just used it for her little blurb with Rowan. I feel like Rory is kinda like Rowan... but Rowan from my little ask request was more of like... idk shy? But more of a Top/Tol. Where in this story/blurb thing Rory is like smol and a little more... fiery?

Anyways here this super unedited story piece/blurb thing I wrote sometime in Aug 2016... when I was still 15. Hope y’all enjoy! Or just lmao idk read it. 🥺❣️

  Taylor laid her head on Micah's tan bare chest and sighed. Her short platinum colored hair splayed across his torso and she shuffled running her legs along his in a plea for attention. When no movement or sign of acknowledgement came from him she groaned. Lifting her head she stared at his strong yet smooth features relaxed in sleep. She shuffled again in irritation at his unwillingness to wake up and sighed in delight when she sees his lips twitch.

  Taylor doesn't resist the urge to run her fingers down his smiling pink lips, then her down his cheeks and jawline on his slight five o'clock shadow. She wiggles again and squeals when he nips slightly at the top of her index. She calmly places her cold feet against his warm ones and smirks as he hisses and flinches back.

  "Come on Tay," Micah laughs as he attempts to sternly reprimand the short haired girl on him, but fails as Taylor once again cuddles closer. With closed eyes he tries again, "Taylor, Princess I'm sleeping." She snorts and buries her head further into his arm.

  "Aw, does your highness want attention?" Micah says jokingly, but slowly looks down concerned at his blonde when she doesn't immediately counter back at him with a quick snarky comeback. "Princess? Is there something bothering you? 

   Taylor rolled to her other side with her back facing Micah as to not look him in the face as she spoke, "It's Rory babe."

   Micah groaned behind her, "Not this again. I thought you'd promised me we'd leave this alone. I'm with you I promise I'm not-"

   "Dammit Micah not that. I'm worried about her." 

   Taylor twirled her shoulder length hair delicately along her fingers. "Its just ever since that day she's been acting off and avoiding the both of us. And on top of that she went to that party tonight without me. She doesn't even like parties. I'm always the one to push her to go to them." Taylor glowered to herself and rapped her arms around her midsection. 

   "Babe, maybe she just wants a break from the both of us." Micah whispered behind her rapping his arms around her as well. Taylor's stomach collapsed in worry, "But Jesus why? We are her best friends. Me especially. She should talk to me. Why would she want a break from us?"

   Micah shushed his girl friend as her octave slowly rose with her body that was now sitting up in bed in a frenzy. Taylor kept going.

"I'm her best friend-"

"Taylor..."

"-she should come to me-"

"Taylor..."

"-if something is bothering her-"

"Taylor..."

"-I mean I'm the only one that could-"

"Taylor!" Micah screamed still laying down on the bed. Her blonde head whipped around and glared down at her boy friend, "What?!"

 "Maybe she couldn't. Talk to you that is. Maybe she has something she couldn't say to you directly, because it would affect...stuff."

  Taylor blinked her grey eyes at him flatly and Micah groaned, "Taylor you've messed with her enough. Me and her actually. You think that you wouldn't be sick of hanging out with people who pursue you constantly who are suppose to be your friends. You've crossed lines Tay. Lines that friends shouldn't cross." 

   Taylor let out a small breath, "But Micah we crossed them. We were friends before we were anything. She got us-"

   "-together. I know. But think about how that must have felt. To have gotten her two best friends together because they were circling around each other without properly asking each other out for all of high school. And then having to deal with them all sophomore and junior year?"

  Taylor laughed, "Micah we weren't that bad. We never left her like other people do when they get a boy friend or girl friend."

Micah chuckled and tugged her back down, "True. But that's the problem, we were always with her and we were all over each," he nibbled on her ear for affect and smirked as her breath hitched. "We were practically in the honeymoon phase and she was...dealing with her own relationship issues." His voice lowered in a tone of anger.

 "Micah..." 

  "That guy was an asshole and we were so rapped up in each. We just let him..." 

  "He took her virginity and bounced." Taylor joked and jumped when Micah pinched her waist. "Oh come on, she's the one that made that joke. It's been two years."

  Micah growled, "Doesn't matter, he shouldn't have touched her. He had no right to-"

 "He was her boy friend," Taylor reminded her boy friend in a singing chirpy voice. Micah's jaw clenched and Taylor lifted her head to stared down at jealous boy friend. He blinked angry electric blue orbs at her and sighed through his nose. 

  She quickly distracted him before he went on a rampage much like every other time he got jealous of someone being around his girls. Taylor long ago realized how much Micah cared about their girl, Rory. Even if he refuse to admit it to himself. No matter how long she pestered him. 

  "Okay, forget about that. So me and you are all lovey dovey and shit. But so what? She's never had a problem with us being together." Taylor said with a sigh into Micah's neck.l

  Micah laughed, "Lovey dovey and shit? You're so romantic Tay."  He ran his hands over her soft platinum locks.  "Its not that, that bothers her Tay. It's the...changes. You've went from being with me to suddenly trying to make me be with her."

  Taylor scoffed, "I've done no such thing."

   Micah pinched her again and this time she squealed. "The fact that you talked all proper just now to deny it, proves you have been princess. You've been pushing her and I into situations with each other. Hell you've pursuing her yourself, don't think I haven't noticed Tay. I love you Taylor, so I'm always gonna be here, but maybe she needs a break. Maybe she doesn't like the idea of being pushed with me," Micah looked away almost sadly, but as quickly as the hurt over took his features, it was replaced with anger. "I don't even know where it's come from. We've been together for two, almost three years. Do you suddenly not want me is that it? Trying to get with her or make me be with her, so we aren't together anymore. We can't use her like that."

  Taylor sighed and sat up once again, "Shut up Micah. You sound stupid, of course not, I love the both of you and I'd never use her. Micah, I do what I do not to get rid of you. I do it cause I see the way you look at her, I know how you feel about her..." She watched Micah's features pale. "I know you think of her sometimes...I know it's not innocent. And I know despite what you say, you don't think of her like a sister. You just got jealous of her being with another guy just now for crying out loud."

Micah was quick to defend himself with cheeks that were far past pink. It was a nice color of him. "I don't! What makes you think I like her? I'm not even-I don't even feel anything..." He flustered more as Taylor smirked down at him and he sat up for leverage.

  "I don't like her. And I was only jealous cause-what am I saying!? I'm not jealous. I just don't like that guy using her. No one deserves that." He huffed.

And Taylor giggled, "Oh dude, you are so into her. You're into her green eyes. Into her long brown hair...and her lips..she has really full lips..." She kept going as the redness rose to his ears and his breathing levels went up. "Micah you seem nervous? Is that it? Let me guess you like her lips? Or no, you like other things?"

   Micah groaned and shifted besides her, "What about less physical things like her personality or her cute little laugh?" He froze as he realized his mistake, " I mean-"

   "Ohhh, so you think her laugh is cute? And you love her personality?" Taylor said with a infectious laugh and soon Micah was laughing too. 

  "Tayloooorrr." Micah blushed again when she smiled suggestively at him. "Stop it."

   Taylor giggled. "Okay okay. But admit you think she's cute."

    Micah smiled, "Okay fine she's cute ish. Doesn't mean I like her though." 

   Taylor narrowed her eyes, "Oh really? Well want to know why I'm worried about her? Because she hasn't texted me since she went to the party just to make sure in her 'subtle way' that we aren't gonna be there."

  Micah leaned back against the headboard, "So? What's that gotta do with me? I'm not her boy friend, I'm yours. She doesn't even have a boy friend." He sounded quite smug about that fact. 

  Taylor smiled innocently, "Yeah, you're my boy friend. She doesn't have one. Can you imagine her at that party single?"

  Micah's body tensed. Taylor smothered a laugh. 'Got him,' she thought. 

  "I wonder what she's wearing." Taylor fake pondered. "I know you're probably thinking you don't care, but can imagine if she's wearing something skimpy."

  Micah popped wider, "I hardly think she'd-"

  "Micah babe I don't know. I think she could be wearing anything. You know it's Matt's party right?"

  "Matt's? Don't his parties have-"

  "-a skimpy dress code?" Taylor laughed, "Oh hell yeah. She's probably in shorts and a cute top...unless she's like in a short dress. I know she had that blue one? Remember that one she brought at the store when she was shopping with us?"

   "I remember." Micah's voice had gotten extremely deep. She smothered another laugh, he was so cute.

  "Damn, if she's wearing that then guys would be ALL over her. And like you said she's single.-" Micah growled and she went on, "God I hope she's not drinking. All those boys around. She gets so playful when she's tipsy, but drunk? She gets frisky."

   Micah's jaw flexed, "They'd take advantage of her." Taylor spoke, "Well I mean it's not like  she wouldn't want it...that's why I'm worried. Imagine those stupid fuck boys. Their hands would be all over her and she'd be showing skin." 

  Micah pulled away from her abruptly and stood up. He pulls his keys from the nightstand by her bed, "That's it. We are going to fucking find her right now."

  Taylor stares at him as he looks at her frantically, "Tay come on!"

   "Pretty bold moves from someone who doesn't like a girl."

   Micah runs his hands through his hair a common sign of his for being anxious, "A friend could-"

   "Micah!" Taylor cut him off. "Okay fine Taylor. I like her but I'm with you, and she's not even-"

"I doubt that. I doubt that a lot."

   "I'm not good enough for her." He sighed and clutched his key harder. "I use to be the exact type of her person that hurt her. She's a hopeless romantic who just...Tay, I use to be such a player. I was-"

   Taylor kissed him silent, then pulled away. She grabbed his arm and sat on her knees at the edge of the bed, "So was I. But we are together. Both of us our different now. Neither of us deserved her before. That's why she was our friend Micah. That's why we found each." She ran her hand down his cheek as he tilted his head down, "But we are together now. We can't try to be with her, it wouldn't be fair. No matter how much I-"

  Taylor interrupted him, "-we. We both want her. But...I understand. But she wants us back, I know she does. She hides it better than you do that's for sure, but it's cause she doesn't know. She can be the most analytical person ever and she could read other people so easily, but when it comes to stuff involving her she's so damn oblivious."

  Micah chuckled fondly, "How do you know she's just not interested. We are exactly alike, maybe we are too much for her."

  Taylor smirked, "Are you kidding? She likes us most definitely. How could she not? And who would say no two being offered two different people? I know my best friend trust me." Taylor rapped her arms around Micah's neck and smiled at him, "She thinks she's got it all figured out, she doesn't want us to corrupt it, she doesn't want us to not want her back. We are together after all. It's why she hasn't said anything. She cares about us just as much if not more than we care about us. Her heart is big enough to love us, trust me."

   Micah leaned his head on her chest. "Why are you stopping me from getting her back here. With us. If she's not convinced, I wanna show her. We can show her we can take care of her. I can show her that I can take care of both of you." 

   Taylor smiled into his hair, "Something tells me you've been holding that in for a long time." She giggled when he groaned into her breast, "You know it would've been a lot easier to claim her as yours if you admitted you actually wanted her as yours to begin with." He groaned again.

   Taylor sighed, "Micah we can't go to her cause that would make it worse. If she's separating herself from us like you said, than if we suddenly barge in-"

  Micah growled on her chest and slid his hand between her bare midsection between her cotton shorts and sports bra, "Barge in on what? She's ours. Mine." 

   Taylor smiled in full agreement of his words, but she had to disagree with him before he got carried away, "Slow down hot shot. She's not ours, not yet. And that's not what I meant. If we try to force her out of the party it'll upset her. And you know her when she's mad." Micah bursted out laughing. 

   "Yeah she's something." He toyed with the bottom of her sports bra. He softly bit the top skin of her breast that popped from her bra and then looked up at her, piercing her with his cool electric colored eyes, "You are too, princess. Just cause I love her, doesn't mean I don't still love you. You're my world." She pulled his head up to her level and pressed her lips to his with a lack of words to say. 

    With his lips against hers, he pushed her back flat onto the bed. His hands swept down her sides awaking up all her nerves. Micah nipped at her bottom lip and let his tongue slide over it soothingly. With a hiss he rolls his hips down on hers and she pants below him. He pulls back and she leans up and attacks her lips to his upper neck mouthing against him as he sharply grabs her hips for control over himself. 

    He pulls back a little and out of breath he whispers her name, "T-Tay." Taylor trails her lips to his ear, "I know Mickey. I know. I love you too." He stares down at her adoringly and she leans back. She's quite a sight. Her short platinum straight her falls gracefully and effortlessly around her fair skin. She's panting and her breast rise and fall with every breathe she takes hypnotizing Micah. Her pupils are blown wide and her grey eyes are dark with lust. With cheeks painted rose, she smiled at him. God, Micah loved her. There were very few girls who would be okay to know that their boyfriend were secretly in love with both them and their best friends.

   Micah couldn't help falling for Rory being similar yet different to Taylor in every way possible; both of them being everything he ever wanted. And now knowing he could actually have both of them. His heart soared in his chest. 'He'd make sure he'd treat them both perfectly, they were everything to him,' Micah thought. 'He'd be damned if anyone laid a finger or tried to hurt either of his girls.' Micah reached across the counter and dropped his keys and picked up the phone instead. He calmly handed it to Taylor. "Call her princess. Make her come back to us."  

 ***

   Unknown to them, Rory was a lot closer than either of them thought. 

 

   Much like Taylor had joked, Rory was in the dark tight blue dress that she had bought with Taylor and Micah. Thinking about the experience had her checks flushing. Standing in Edge Look and being forced into the dressing room by Taylor as Micah sat to the side and watched her get manhandled with a smirk had her wanting to kill best friend. But it was walking out of the dressing room in the dress was the most embarrassing thing. Shuffling in the dress barefoot against the carpet floor as both her best friend and her best friend's boy friend had fallen silent and started at her with wide intense eyes. They had looked her like...

   Rory shook her head, no, it wasn't that at all. She had long convinced herself that the grey and blue eyes that had stared at her with an almost unrecognizable emotion had simply been surprise and approval of the dress; and not of the girl in the dress. Similarly to how she had convinced herself that if she put on the dress, despite the fact that Taylor had convince Micah to buy it for her, she would most definitely regret it. And she definitely regret putting it on. 

  Bryan, a boy in her advance calculus, had stopped her after class to asked her to come to this party that another one of her classmates (Matthew-she thought his name was) was holding. A lot had been bothering her lately regarding her best friends and she was almost going to say no. Till one of those said best friends turned the corner near the end of the hallway and glared daggers at Bryan hand was on her arm. That to be quite frank pissed her off, they had no right to treat her like a baby who couldn't handle herself. Thus quickly changing her mind. She needed some time to regroup herself away from her best friends anyways. Her friends, Taylor and Micah were dating and they were driving her nuts. 

   Despite the fact they were dating they seemed to draw close to her and bring out the most elicit reactions out her that she still refuse to even acknowledge. But if she didn't back up from the golden couple, Mr. And Mrs. Prom King and Queen, she was gonna lose it. They were so perfect for each other and it wasn't fair that they should feel guilty about how they felt for one other simply because Rory had stupidly caught feelings for both of her best friend. It was much easier to pretend she wasn't jealous when she wasn't around the couple who seemed to forever be on gushy mode and couldn't keep their hands off each other. It made her sick. Hell she was sick, to have feelings for two people so strongly who were complete different genders and were dating each other. It was completely unethical. This is what prompted her answer to Bryan to be yes. Bryan was a shaggy haired blonde boy with light blue eyes, he was cute and he was interested. She needed to get over both her crushes so she agreed to go to the party and meet him there. 

   That whole day she avoided her friends, and only texted Taylor before going to the party. 'They were "It" couple after all,' Rory thought bitterly. So of course it was possible they were going to be there, so she had to make sure. But according to Taylor, her single working mother had taken a 2 week long business trip and both her siblings had left earlier to their friends houses, giving Taylor the house to herself. Both Taylor and Micah had taken advantage of the alone time. 

  'Probably in her room.' Rory sulked at the time. This made her more determined than ever to go to the party and have fun without either of them, and most definitely not think about anything they could be doing in Taylor's room alone with no parental supervision. 

    That itself had been a mistake. Going to the party that is. Rory knew she hated parties. Or at least hated going to them with out Taylor to make fun of people with and Micah to ward off all the annoying drunk party goers, mostly male. It hadn't been that bad at first. She had gotten there and while the music was loud and the house had been in full party mode, it was almost hypnotic. She had grabbed a red cup and had drank herself tipsy in boredom cause while she wasn't irritated with the party, Bryan hadn't seemed to want to show himself. She had eventually gotten bored of standing in a corner watching people grind and basically have sex with each other out on the dance floor, if you could call the living room a dance floor. She began to walk around with stumbled steps and was actually genuinely surprised and hurt to see Bryan playing tongue hockey with a some girl in the kitchen. 

   'Damn,' she thought. 'Had her willingness to get over her best friends convinced that this guy had actually been interested in her. Ha, he invited her to a freaking party that should've been her first guess.' 

  Bryan had pulled back from the girl and had proceeded to try to grab Rory in some form of apology. "R-Rory. Baby-"

   "Um no. Don't call me baby, I'm not your baby. I think you got me confused with that girl who had your tongue down her throat." Rory slightly slurred and stumbled as she stepped back. "H-have fun by the way." She turned on her heel and walked straight out the party. She then proceeded to call herself an uber, because she wasn't a moron. 

   When asked where to take her Rory made the biggest mistake of her entire existence, well at least she thinks so.  She gave the driver Taylor's address. Rory cussed to herself as she stared up at the tan colored two story house before her. Before she could turn and tell her driver, who she already paid, that she made a mistake and to take her home he had already drove away. Rory sighed and looked to the sky. This was another mistake, cause being tipsy didn't exactly make her balanced and she felt her head sway and she barely caught herself before she tumbled into the pavement of Taylor's driveway. Rory groaned, 'Taylor's driveway, Taylor's front yard, Taylor's house.' She giggled, life had a way with fucking with her 

   Her phone went off and Rory jumped in surprise and blinked when she saw Taylor's home phone pop up as the caller ID. 

   Rory clicked the answer button and smiled, "Hellooooo!"

***

    Taylor leaned down in anticipation after putting the call on speaker and flinched back at Rory's loud scream. 

   "Rory? Bae, are you okay?"

   Taylor's stomach clenched when she heard Rory giggle, "Hiii best friend!"

   Micah slid up beside her and leaned his bare chest on Taylor's nearly bare back. "Tay, I think she's drunk. Shit I knew we should've went to get her."

   Rory giggled, "Nuh uh. I'm tipsssy." 

    Micah sat forward and leaned down to the phone, "Baby where are you? I'm coming to get you."

    "Sillyyyyy. I'm hereeeee." 

   Micah's eyes furrowed, "What? Baby girl stop playing. Where are you?"

    "I'm not a baby." Rory whined petulantly, "Stahhhp it. H-He...he called me that. No."

    Micah growled lowly, "Who called you that?"

    "B-Bry...um..Bryan...umm are you mad?"

     Taylor sucked her teeth, "I knew he was trying to talk to her." Taylor raised her voice for Rory to hear her, "Roar don't let him touch you! We are coming tell us where you are."

    Rory made a loud bleh noise. "Nooo. B-Bryan is..is t-touching someone else." And Rory sighed as if she was talking to two 5 year old that would not listen and spoke slowly, "I s-said I'm here sillyyy."

    Micah stood off the bed and walked away in frustration and Taylor groaned in irritation. Dammit why wouldn't Rory just tell them where she-

    "Oh shit." Micah exclaimed. Taylor's head snapped up to look at the dark haired boy standing by the window looking down, "Princess, she's actually here. She's dancing in the grass." Micah let out an incredulous laugh and whispered, "Thank god," before rushing out the door and down the stairs. Taylor was quick on his tail. When they reached outside Rory was no longer in the grass dancing, but instead in front of the door humming with a dreamy smile. 

   "Hiiiii besties. Took you long e-enough." Rory hiccuped and stumbled past them and with wobbly feet began to race her away upstairs. "Jesus," Micah raced after her and began to help her up the stairs. She stumbled for a few seconds and nearly hit a wall once she reached the second floor, but Taylor straightened her and lead Rory to her room. Micah promptly pushed the door open and watched amused as Taylor lead a now struggling protesting Rory to the bed.

   Honestly, it was less leading and more pulling and dragging from Taylor's part, with added retreating and whimpering from Rory. Taylor finally gave up and stood straight allowing Rory to slump against her and bury her head between Taylor's neck and shoulder.

 "Dammit Rory, why won't you lay down?" 

   Rory mumbled something briefly onto Taylor's neck and Taylor shivered as it touched her through. "W-What? Bae, I can't hear you." Taylor regretted this instantly as Rory rapped her arms around her neck and pressed tightly into her putting Taylor and Rory body to body. She moved her soft lips next to Taylor's ear and let out a soft whimper and Taylor's thighs clenched. Rory delicately ran her hand over her bare sides and up to her breast, sliding her finger innocently over Taylor's sports bra. Her finger felt hot, so hot. Taylor could feel them through the fabric. She could feel them slide over her nipples. "Fuck," Taylor moaned and gripped her sides tightly as Rory ran her lips on Taylor's ear slowly. 

   "I'm not tired."    

    Rory's voice snapped her back to reality. 'Shit,' Taylor thought. 'Rory drives me crazy and I almost just lost control.' Taylor looked up and by the door Micah stood with a fist clenched tightly on the knob and teeth digging into his bottom lip, his eyes were dark with lust. "Fuck, Taylor." Micah voice was beyond deep and was dripping arousal, "Let me take her..." He cleared throat, "I mean, let me put her to bed. I can handle her."

    Micah walked up behind her and lifted the small brunette into  his arms in a bridal position, "Come on baby girl. To bed with you before you drive my princess crazy. Little minx." Micah smiled softly when Rory rapped her hands around his neck and giggled. 'Ha,' Micah thought. She actually wasn't fighting him and letting him take care of her. And Micah loved to take care of her as Rory so rarely let him. 

   He laid her down gently and turned when she heard Taylor digging around in her dresser. She pulled out pajama shorts and a tank top, "I'm gonna change her into this."

    "R-Right now? Change her now?" Micah cleared her throat and as he was distracted Rory whimpered at no longer being paid attention to. From her place laying on the bed, Rory raised her legs up and rapped them around Micah's waist and her arms around his neck. "Mickeyyy." She whined and raised her hips up to his shifting. Micah was sure he was losing his mind at the delicate hypnotizing up and down movement of her crotch against his through his sweatpants and her hand trailing down his bare back. "R-Rory," he groaned. "Ugh baby, you gotta-" he panted as her nails dug into his back and her lips into his neck. 'What was with her and putting her lips all over them when she was tipsy?' Micah thought, 'Taylor wasn't kidding about Rory being frisky.'

   "Kitten," he groaned and his mind nearly snapped when he heard Rory moaned below him and Taylor whimper behind him, both of them shifting in place. Abruptly, Rory pulled him down completely on the bed and rolled him to her other side. Taylor couldn't help the laugh at the comical sight of small 5'3 drunk Rory, pulling a 6'3 sober and surprised Micah down into the bed. Micah bounced from his place on the bed and blinked in shock, "How the f-"

   Rory shushed him promptly and cuddled into his bare chest, "Sleepy Mickey." Micah couldn't help the warmth in his blood at the cute nickname Rory whispered, that Taylor sometimes called him. He softly petted her hair wavy brown hair till she slipped into sleep. Taylor had long moved to the edge of the bed and sat and watched the amazing display before. Two of the the most important people in her world were together before her eyes and she couldn't help beaming. Taylor crawled up and told Mickey to roll Rory over slightly towards him. With her body rolled to the side, Taylor pulled the zipper down letting her finger graze against the olive smooth skin of Rory's back. 

   Micah watched with electric eyes blazing hot like a blue fire. Taylor pulled the dress off Rory's shoulders and looks at Micah with a pointed look for the sake of her best friends modesty. Micah stared back at determined. She could beat him with a pillow he wasn't taking his eyes off either of them. Taylor broke under his intense stare. No one had a look quite like Micah she realized. With a resigned sigh she proceeded to pull the blue dress down and both her and Micah sucked in a breath at Rory's breast covered by a black lace bra. Taylor quickly slid her tank top onto Rory's arms and over her head, before she and her boy friend lost their nerve. She continued to pull it down off Rory's legs and pulled off her flats as well.

   Taylor and Micah chuckled together, even with a dress like that Rory refused to wear heals. Micah trailed his hands down Rory's bare thighs and sighed, "God cupcake, I can't wait till she ours. I can't wait till the both of my kittens are mine." He slid his hands slightly and watched his large fingers on her thick thighs. "Fuck I want you both." He watched Taylor slide her pants up her legs. 

   After this Taylor and Micah fixed Rory on the left side of the bed and covered her. They watched her shuffle for warmth till Micah slid in the middle again and she settled as she felt his skin and cuddled back into him. Taylor giggled at the soft look on Micah's face and blushed when he looked at her in an indecent manner much like usual when they were alone. "Close the light princess. Lay on my other side, I wanna have both my girls in my arms."

She quickly followed instructions and in the dark made her way into the bed on the right side. With one arms Micah pulled her close and pressed his lips to hers. "You guys are gonna drive me crazy, babe." Taylor rolled her eyes, "We aren't even doing anything."

   Micah pulled his hands from around and led Taylor's hand to his crotch and rubbed against his hard bulge. "You guys do everything to me. You feel that baby?" Taylor gasped and felt liquid pool in her underwear, "Y-yea." She began to move her hand down against him thought his sweats and was fairly certain he wasn't wearing any briefs or boxers underneath. "Oh god." Micah groaned and pushed his hips up into her palm and Taylor rubbed hardly as he panted. They almost lost themselves till Rory shifted besides them and they both froze. "Later," Micah panted. "Later when she's awake and aware. I want you both. I want you to touch me. I want you to make her touch me too." 

   Taylor moaned softly and leaned down into his neck. Her legs shifted against his. "Okay. Okay I will."

   "Good. Sleep now baby." Micah whispered and ran his hand through Taylor's hair luring her to sleep much like Rory. Micah smiled at his two babies finally his. He let the breathing of them both lure him into slumber and drifted away with the word "mine" on his mind. 

A/N:

Hey guys. So that was it! It was a story once upon a time that I was gonna fully write out. There was tons of scenarios on how it went but if it wasn’t clear by now.... it was a “Thruple” or “Ménage a Trois” relationship. Basically a closed monagomous relationship of three. Well the development TO THAT status, as far as when the story starts off.

The idea of it and the complications and the love and just all of it, is something I would still love to write and explore...I feel like I wrote this when I was young and there was a lack of representation in my cast, as well as some problematic💀 wild elements. But it was still mine ya know? And for being 15, my writing wasn’t that bad ya know? I feel like I’m sorta getting better, but sometimes I’m like lol it’s the same shit just prettier words. But this piece was 100% unedited! So I’m proud even with the mistakes and other stuff.

Follows the story of this girl nerdy girl Rory... who fell hopelessly for her popular best friend Taylor. And then got blindsided by her crush on equally popular devil-may-care (lol) Micah, Taylor’s to-be boyfriend. Lmao thinking back this entire concept is wild and kind of ironic in the worst way. Anyways. I thought the story of their romance like all of them was really cute. And there was multiple versions. Some of them falling for each other in different orders and them being much older in life sometimes younger, but this happened. Idk. I’m equally extremely proud and crippling embarrassed for having created this absolute brilliant garbage.

But anyways I hope you guys enjoyed it!❣️ May have more random little things I wrote for me to post. As embarrassing and wild as they all were.

I was really out her writing since I was like 7. And I only started to branch out more on paper and stuff, when I was like 10 and had my DSI. And I made visual comic art stories on Flipnote (those were the days!) and then I joined wattpad and started writing with my cousin at 11 or 12. And the rest was history. *Sigh* Memory lane is great.

Thanks for reading💗

Signed, Erikawritesss

[iamknicole]

Pieces

A/N: I don't know where I'm going with this but it's been on my mind and I wanted to get it out. I ran out of room on mobile buuut here it is 😧😧😧

Sunday

7:45pm

Marietta, GA

"Pick your head up, sweetheart. Your crown might slip."

"Not today, Mama."

"Well, Mercy, I just want you to hold your head up. What's so wrong with that?"

At 26, Mercy Banks had heard her fair share of sit up straights, stop slouchings and enunciates to last her a lifetime. Her mom wanted her children to be prim and proper at all times, no room for error. She got her way with two of her three children. Mercy not being one of them.

"Let her be, Elise. She just got here."

"Thank you, Daddy," Mercy said kissing her father's cheek.

"That's why she turned out the way she did, Tony. You always baby her and undermine what I say."

Tony waited for his wife to leave their living room before starting a conversation with Mercy. If he couldn't count on his other children he knew he could count on Mercy. She has been a Daddy’s girl her whole life. His oldest, Jamal, loved to he around him but he had been so busy with his career and wife he hadn't been around as much as either of them would have liked. His other daughter, Raven, on the other was exactly like his wife. Raven fell in line growing up and still with everything Elise wanted.

"How's my babygirl?"

Mercy sat across her dad's lap, laying back against him as she did when she was younger. "I'm okay, Daddy. How are you?" She asked softly.

"I'm better since you decided to come tonight. Haven't seen your egg head in two weeks," he joked.

She rolled her eyes playfully. "You know why but I try to call you."

"Are you still going," Tony asked.

She nodded just as the doorbell chimed. Elise came rushing through the living room with a smile on her face. Tony sighed knowing which one of his kids was on the other side of the door since Jamal couldn't be on time to save his life.

"Don't let anything that's said or that happens tonight bother you. Okay?"

Mercy nodded as she watched her mama and Raven walk back into the room. Her husband, Anthony, right behind them. He shook hands with Tony then kissed Mercy's cheek.

"What's up, Mr. Banks. Mercy."

"Not much, youngin," Tony nodded looking to his other daughter, "You not speaking, Rae?"

"Sorry, Daddy. How are you," she asked turning in his direction.

Tony nodded then gestured to Mercy. "Your sister, Rae."

"Hello, Mercy. You look," she paused to look at your younger sister, "Comfortable."

"Thanks, Raven."

"You know your sister, Raven. She likes the bummy look," Elise laughed grasping Raven's hand.

Another doorbell chime brought the last Banks' child, Jamal, and his wife, Melanie. Tony whispered to Mercy to get the door. As she exited the room, Mercy could hear her dad saying something to Raven and her mom.

Jamal and Melanie stood on the other side, wide smiles on their faces. Melanie stepped into the house, pulling Mercy into a tight hug rocking her small body side to side. They had the relationship, Mercy wanted with Raven but she knew it would never happen.

"You look so pretty, CiCi. Look at this hair," Melanie gushed. "You used the hair mask I gave you?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "Thank you again."

Jamal opened his arms up to Mercy, smiling harder when he felt Mercy holding on tightly to him. In Mercy's eyes, Jamal could do no wrong. "They started up already?" He asked.

She nodded then turned away from the door to walk them into the living room. Claiming her seat back in her father's lap, trying to tune out the conversation being had.

Thankfully for Mercy, dinner was finally over and she was closer to leaving her childhood home. The spotlight was on Raven and Anthony as they had finally decided to try for children after being married for five years. Of course, Elise snuck questions in at Mercy about her lack of husband, children and a presentable career. All of which were deflected by Melanie, Jamal and Tony.

"I need you to be dressed and presentable on Tuesday by seven, Mercy."

"For what, Mama?"

"Your sister has found you a nice young man that wants to take you on a date. Isn't that exciting," Elise gushed to her less than pleased daughter.

The frown on Mercy's face seemed embedded all evening. Jamal and Tony weren't near to thwart her mom and sister's invasion into her life. They had gone into the den to talk, leaving the women in the living room. Melanie had gone outside to take a call.

"No, it's not and I'm not going."

Raven sucked her teeth much to Elise's dismay. She hated that noise more than she hated to see her children roll their eyes and slouch. Raven pointed her finger in her sister's direction. "Oh, you're going, Mercy and you're gonna have fun. He's cute and he's successful. Don't ruin your chance."

"My chance at what? Being a trophy wife like you, Rae?"

"Now, Mercy, don't be rude to your sister. She's trying to help."

"No, you two are trying to run my life. I don't want to go so I'm not."

The three Banks women stared at each other. Mercy knew ever with all the fighting she was doing thay she would be on that date. It didn't mean she would enjoy it though.

"Are you trying to embarrass me, Mercy? Your sister graduated from college and graduate school, handled her career and was married for three years by the time she was your age," Elise sighed throwing her hands up. "Yes, Jamal was late getting married but look at what he did at your father's company. My God its as if you tuned me out your whole life."

Mercy's face and eyes burned. Even though she had tried to let the things said roll off her back like she was always told to do, it was too much. For protection, Mercy wrapped her arms around herself staring down at her feet.

"I mean yes you graduated and I'm thankful for that but you've done nothing since. No career, no husband and no kids. All my friends ask about my kids because they know that my kids have done extraordinary things," Elise exaggerated loudly. "Two of them have but then there's you, Mercy. There's nothing there but a college degree and paid off medical bills. You came from my womb, I birthed you with everything you needed and yet you still disappoint me this way."

Raven stepped back from their mom, she was uncomfortable with the way Elise spoke but she would never say anything. Making their mom happy was at the top of the list and until Mercy could get on board this would continue to happen.Tears fell from Mercy's eyes, hitting the hardwood floors beneath her.

"Now you're crying," Elise laughed, "I should be the one crying. I'm the one who's embarrassed and disappointed."

Anthony walked into the room unaware of what was going on. He grabbed for Raven's hand, gaining her attention. "You ready to go?" He asked quietly.

"Yeah," she nodded. "Mama, I'm heading out. I'll call you tomorrow."

Elise nodded, waving her away too focused on Mercy. With one look at Mercy, Raven backed out of the living room with her husband in tow. She didn't bother saying goodbye to her brother or dad for the sake of not wanting to be involved. Melanie passed them on her way back into the house.

"I'm sick of you and this pity party you're constantly throwing, Mercy. It stops today," Elise demanded.

Melanie stepped into the living room, wanting to help. "Everything okay? Sounds like you guys need a breather." Melanie said with a smile

"Everything is fine, Melanie. Just trying to talk sense into my disappointment of a child here."

Mercy didn't bother lifting her head, hugging herself much tighter. The tears flowed freely from her eyes, no need to stop what's been seen already. Elise's tone bothered Melanie, she left the room in search of Jamal and Tony.

"Lift your head up and stop that crying. I'm not going to continue talking to the top of your head."

Mercy lifted her head sucking her bottom lip in, staring directly into her mom's eyes.

"There were go, now I can stare into the eyes of my beautiful baby girl and let her know," Elise paused stepping closer, "That she is going to make me proud from here on out. She's going to stop this crying, stop the pity party, stop dressing like some bum and do what I ask of her. Understand?"

Elise wiped the tears that fell from her daughter's eyes, waiting for an answer.

Tony stood between them, his hands at his wife's shoulders. "We talked about this, Elise. Leave her alone."

Jamal called out to his baby sister, beckoning for her to come to him and his wife. Slowly, Mercy walked to him and into his arms. He held her against him, Melanie stood beside them rubbing Jamal's arm.

"Why? Because she's sensitive? That's rich," Elise scoffed. "She is too old for this, Tony. She needs to grow up, do what is expected of her."

"Just stop, Elise. We'll talk about this later." He said through his teeth.

Elise narrowed her eyes at her husband. "I have to stop or what? She'll do it again?"

"Let's walk your sister to her car, Mal. Come on."

They stood at Mercy's black jeep, none of them said a word. All Jamal could do was hug his sister as she cried softly. Wanting to give them time alone, Melanie went to wait by their car for Jamal.

"You wanna come over? Watch movies or something," Jamal asked as she stepped away from his embrace. "We can watch whatever you wanna watch. Even if it's bullshit." They laughed together. The first smile from Mercy all night.

"Funny but no. I'm gonna go home."

"Go home and do what, CiCi?" Jamal asked with his hands in his pockets.

She rolled her eyes at his question. "Write or edit some pictures, Mal. I don't know."

"Alright but call me if anything comes up."

"Anything like what?" She asked opening her car door.

"You know what. Don't play, Mercy."

With that, Jamal helped her up into the jeep watching her pull out the driveway.

Tuesday

6:50pm

Marietta, GA

As much as Mercy fought, she got dolled up and presentable for whoever Raven had sent to take her out. The only thing Raven told her was that he drives a silver Mercedes because of course that's all that mattered to her. She checked her phone for the time before she stepped out onto the porch of her town home for air while she waited.

Minutes later, a sleek luxury car pulled into her short driveway behind her jeep. She heard his door open and close but she didn't see him until he came from around her jeep. He was too busy picking small pieces of lint from his suit jacket to notice her. He stepped up onto hee porch finally looking up, looking straight into Mercy's eyes and smiled.

"You must be Mercy," he said taking her hand placing a kiss on the top.

"That's me," she nodded pulling her hand from his, "You are?"

"Semaj Brooks but everyone calls me Lucky." She nodded, watching him as he looked at her from head to toe. "You look amazing, Mercy. Your sister didn't do you any justice, I didn't expect this."

She nodded once more. "Yeah, I can imagine what she told you. Are you ready, Semaj?"

He nodded leading her off the porch.

"Please call me Lucky though. I'm Semaj at work, Lucky to everyone else."

Mercy had decided to enjoy herself but she knew this would be last time she saw him. Anyone who knew her sister and was close enough for this to happen wasn't anyone she wanted.

[datingadviceonreddit]

Me and my boyfriend have been together for four months, but we haven't even kissed or held hands yet. He's very awkward, so I'm afraid of making him feel uncomfortable, and I suspect that I'm his first proper girlfriend so I don't want to rush or pressurise him. I'm 24 and he's 19, and I feel like the age gap is very significant. I'm approaching the age where I'm looking for a proper adult relationship, but it feels like I'm dating a child sometimes. I thought that the age gap wouldn't be too much of an issue, but over time, his lack of experience has caused quite a few problems - both on a physical and emotional level, and I feel completely isolated and deprived of affection. I thought that things would improve if we were officially in a relationship, but we actually seem to be going backwards instead of forwards. I've never had to face this issue before, because literally every guy I've been with has been relatively forward and proactive about their physical or emotional interests in me, and I'm quite shy so I struggle with 'making moves' on people, especially if I have no idea if the other person even wants me to. His lack of experience means that I've deliberately taken things much slower than I usually would, but after four months, there's still not been any progression within any aspect of our relationship. I have no idea how to communicate my concerns, because he's already extremely sensitive and anxious, and the last thing I want to do is make him feel even more uncomfortable. I've posted this on a few different subreddits because I'd like as many perspectives and as much advice as possible really - so that I can get a general consensus as to whether I'm right or wrong to feel the way I do.I'm pretty sure that he's a virgin, whereas I'm five years older than him and have had many boyfriends in the past - two of which were incredibly abusive. I've been sexually involved with more than my fair share of people, whereas I get the impression that nobody has ever showed an interest in my boyfriend in that way, so I already feel like we're not on the same wavelength because we're both at very different stages in our lives. At first, I thought that it was sweet and slightly flattering that he was so inexperienced, and it was cute that he was moving so slowly with me, but there's such a thing as going 'too' slow. As time has gone by, our relationship just makes me feel more and more inadequate and anxious. We've been together for four months now, but we haven't kissed or even held hands yet. It says that we're in a relationship on Facebook so I'm not just imagining that it's something that it's not haha! Again, I know that he's not used to all of this, and I don't want to pressurise him, so I've been waiting for him to initiate things. I knew that it'd take time for him to adjust to dating, but I just feel like I'm wasting my time with him and I'm quickly losing interest.We haven't been on many dates - we see each other once every week or fortnight, but all we really do is walk around town for hours and end up in McDonalds, and as a 24 year old woman, I feel like I deserve a bit more excitement and sophistication than that. For our first ever date, he told me that we were going for a drink - I thought we might go to Starbucks or Costa, but he took me to the in-store cafe at Asda, where a pot of tea only costs £1, and I felt really overdressed and undignified. I felt so embarrassed and humiliated that I went home and lied to my Mum about where we'd gone together. It was also the most disgusting cup of tea I've ever tasted haha, but I plodded through because I genuinely enjoyed his company. There's nothing wrong with cheap dates, but I just want to date someone who I can have fun with, but hanging out with my boyfriend feels more like a chore - it's something that I just tolerate because I feel like it's more of an obligation than anything else.He invited me to go for a meal on Valentine's day - it turns out that we were going to Pizza Hut, which was an anti-climax and disappointing to say the least. He even kicked up a fuss about spending £1.99 on dessert, even though I offered to pay, and I just felt really cheap and not very special at all. He also tried to convince me to order from the kids menu. We were surrounded by 12 year olds on their first ever dates, and it was just really awkward and I felt a little bit humiliated. I thought that we'd definitely kiss on Valentine's day, but he could barely manage an awkward hug as we said goodbye. He gave me a single bar of dairy milk chocolate for Christmas, whereas I spent quite a lot of money and put a lot of thought into my gifts for him. I've visited his house a couple of times, but all we did was sit in his lounge and talk to his parents about the war for six hours. His cat was sick on me, and my boyfriend's initial reaction was to run away in disgust instead of helping to clean it up. When I'm around his house, he never says a word to me, and he sits at the opposite end of the room, so it feels more of an interrogation than anything else. He invited himself over to my house a few weeks ago - and again, I thought we'd probably kiss if we were in private - but all he did was sit awkwardly on the very edge of my bed for an hour, before his parents randomly turned up to take him home.We've never even come close to a kiss, and I feel like it's too late and the time has passed now anyway. I've waited for four months and I feel like I'm wasting my time. I've made it really obvious that I like intimacy, but he's expressed no interest at all in any sort of physical or emotional closeness. He avoids acknowledging any comments regarding kissing, sex, or other signs of affection - he seems to get very flustered and changes the subject immediately. It's reached a point where I feel like I can't totally be myself around him, because I like to make 'controversial' jokes or comments about sex etc, but obviously I can't when I'm around him, and I feel like I have to be careful about what I write on social media in case he reads too much into things.I don't even remotely feel like he's my boyfriend - it feels like we're just friends, but with this very awkward tension between us. We awkwardly hug once when we say hello, and once when we say goodbye - other than that, we barely even graze elbows. He very rarely compliments me, and we don't even talk most days, so we're not even close on an emotional level. He's had a few bad days over the last four months, but he never opens up to me. He goes silent whenever he's upset, even though he knows that I'm there for him and that he can talk to me about anything. There's no romance or intimacy whatsoever, and it's starting to affect my confidence and self-esteem. I'm also starting to resent the fact that I wake up early and spend ages getting dressed up just to go to McDonalds and watch him eat a Happy Meal (I'm a vegetarian so McDonalds is wasted on me haha). I used to be really excited about seeing him, but over the past few months, I've begun to enjoy his company less and less, and I'm now actively putting off dates because I find them/him so boring and I'm really confused about our relationship.I've been in two long-term abusive relationships in the past which have really knocked my confidence, so intimacy is a bit of an issue with me anyway - I'm used to the guy making the first move, and I know how anxious he must feel, so I've basically been waiting for him to be ready, but I can't wait forever. I have no idea where I stand with him, how he feels about me, and what he wants from a relationship. Whenever we meet, he always has to leave at 4pm so that he can get home and feed his cat haha! I was meant to be meeting him in town the other day, but there was a storm outside so I waited in a cafe - I told him where I was and all he said was: "ok okay", then I saw him walk past the window whilst he was pretending that he wasn't in town. I bumped into him in town again today, and he could barely make eye contact with me and seemed in a rush to get going. His emotional maturity, social interactions, interests and behaviour are the same as mine when I was 13 or 14, and subsequently, it feels like I'm dating a child sometimes.It just feels like he's way too inexperienced, and I already feel really weird about the age gap etc. I really don't want to end up resenting him for wasting my time, and I don't want to carry on seeing him whilst I have all of these doubts in my head. Bless him, he's absolutely clueless when it comes to dating - I thought that it was cute at first, but it quickly became quite stressful and overwhelming. He doesn't seem to be aware of a lot of very standard and basic etiquette, and I appreciate that he has a lot to learn, but I'm really not at a stage in my life where I have the time or energy to teach a guy how he should treat a girl etc. I've been in that situation before and it was exhausting. I knew that he was inexperienced before we started going out, so I didn't expect much, and there've been a lot of times when I overlooked his behaviour because of this, but it's really started to feel a bit ridiculous and I feel unwanted and trapped. I think he'd be better suited for a girl who also hasn't had much dating experience so that it'd be a bit more equal and balanced.I genuinely like this guy - we have a lot in common, and I'm sure he's lovely and I'm quite attracted to him, but I can't help but feel like something is very off. I really liked him at first, but now I feel like the opportunity and the spark have gone. I guess I'm just not into him as much as I originally thought I was, but I still feel really guilty about it. Our relationship is pretty much non-existent - we might as well just be friends. The whole situation is so awkward and confusing that I now feel incredibly anxious from something so minor as receiving a text from him. I know that this is his first proper relationship so I'm really scared to hurt his feelings, but I just find myself avoiding him nowadays. I've cancelled our last three dates, mostly because I've been trying to work out what I should do or say to him. I'm probably pushing him away because I know that I need to break up with him, but I'm really worried about how he'll react, and I'd rather let him down gently. If the situation were a bit different, and maybe if he was a bit older and slightly more experienced then I'm sure it would have worked out a lot better. I feel much lonelier now than I ever felt when I was single. I feel like I'm tied down to someone who can barely even hug me, and I know it's awful of me, but I'd rather be single and have the freedom to do my own thing and not feel quite so trapped. I have no idea how I should discuss all of this with him as he's very sensitive - I'm worried that he'd just crumble at the first hurdle - but I feel like breaking up would be the fairest thing for both of us.Update: Thank you so much for all of the wonderful advice that I've been given - it genuinely means a lot, and I'm taking all of your comments on board. I'm definitely planning to break up with him within the next couple of days, but I have no idea how I should handle it. His anxiety is so intense that he becomes physically unwell whenever he's upset, so I feel like doing it in person would just make things worse for him. I don't know whether I should tell him the whole truth as to why it isn't working for me, or whether I should fob him off with the whole "it's not you, it's me" line. I know that it's going to really affect his mental health, and I'm really going to struggle coping with the guilt of having hurt him.TL;DR - I've been with my boyfriend for four months, but we haven't even kissed or held hands yet. He's five years younger than me, and I'm certain that he's a virgin so I've been trying not to rush or pressurise him, but there's no physical or emotional affection whatsoever between us. He's an extremely sensitive and anxious person and I'm terrified of hurting him, but I've lost interest in being in a relationship with him. I don't know what to do or how I'm supposed to feel. via /r/dating_advice