#having Illya feels today

[ikeepwatchinghelicopters]

Random thought: probably a modern TMFU AU where Napoleon is still a thief, but it took longer for him to get caught. Imagine that Waverly is already running UNCLE and has Gaby and Illya as agents. Illya was also doing criminal activities before he was recruited by Waverly, but he was probably more of an assassin rather than a thief (though maybe he pulled of a legendary heist one time and then never stole anything noteworthy again). Anyway, Napoleon is a very famous and skilled thief and once he gets caught by the police, Waverly gives him a deal saying he can avoid prison if he comes to work for UNCLE. Napoleon agrees (mostly because Waverly took Illya along when he came to make the offer and Napoleon immediately wants to climb Illya like a tree), but he's very distrustful at first and tries to rebel against all the restrictions that he has now. But as he works along with Illya and Gaby, he learns to trust them. And then he finds out that Illya got recruited basically the same way he did and he cannot quite believe that honest, proper, well-trained Illya was once a wanted criminal. And when he finds out that Illya was actually behind that one legendary heist, he absolutely loses his mind.

I guess this is basically feral refined lone-wolf thief Napoleon learning to trust others and that Illya is a total badass on top of being hot.

[cha-melodius]

hi! ⭐️ for love is a losing game pretty please?

HELLO I didn't mean to leave this for an entire day lol, but I've barely had a moment to breathe today and I wanted to be able to sit and think about this one.

Ok, Love is a Losing Game! So as I mention in the fic notes, I decided to write this fic after @eavos posted something in the tmfu discord server about The Queen's Gambit and how it'd make a good setting for a napollya AU. At first I didn't really think that much of it, but then I WATCHED The Queen's Gambit and the idea took hold of me like woah. Before this fic I'd written one long-form AU, and I certainly didn't expect this to become my longest ever fic, nor how MUCH I'd end up putting into it.

I've never done more research for a fic than I did for this fic. I planned it out using actual chess tournaments in the 1960s (whereupon I quickly learned just how fictional The Queen's Gambit was lol), getting into the nitty gritty of how many players and from what countries actually played them. Most of the chess games in the fic are real—I read an absurd number of tournament recaps in old archived issues of Chess Life magazine. I also got some information about grandmasters' lives and careers from various articles in there, as well as other stories online.

Illya's career wasn't really patterned off of any one player, but Napoleon's is roughly based on that of Bobby Fischer (this is one of the big reasons why, every time I think about 'filing off the serial numbers' of this fic, I reject the idea—I fear it would be written off as 'what if Bobby Fischer was gay', even when there's nothing of Fischer's personality in this). And don't get me started on the research/planning I did for the World Chess Championship at the end; I had spreadsheets to figure out the points and how to make it work out like I wanted it to.

Since this was the early days of me planning fics, I didn't have a great sense of chapters, nor did I have a very detailed outline. I'll post it here, in fact (behind a cut for spoilers, just in case).

Before I drop the rest, if anyone who's not a TMFU fan ends up reading this far, here's my tiny plea: If you love my fics, give this one a chance. You don't need to know anything about the fandom, I promise; consider it an original novel lol. But I still think this is among my best works, and it deserves to be read more than it is.

Ok, the outline. This was it—the championship, the date, very brief note about what was happening, and who won the tournament (tournaments in parentheses happened offscreen). I do not now recall what the asterisks mean lmao.

(US National Championship & Zonal, New York 1965 – Napoleon)

Hastings International Chess Congress 1966 (Jan) – Meet for the first time (Illya, Ch)*

Mar del Plata, Argentina 1966 (March) – Begin off-book games (draw, Co)

(World Chess Championship, Moscow 1966 – Illya)

Piatigorsky Cup, Santa Monica 1966 (July) – Affair begins (1–1, Illya Ch)*

Chess Olympiad, Havana 1966 (Oct) – Discovery (Soviets)

Palma de Mallorca, Spain 1966 (Nov) – Napoleon absent (Illya loses)

US Championship, New York 1966 (Dec) – Illya shows up looking for Napoleon*

Monte Carlo Tournament, Monaco 1967 (March) – Napoleon returns (Napoleon, Co)

Canadian Centennial Grand Masters Chess Tournament, Winnipeg 1967 (Oct) – Illya misses (Napoleon)*

Sousse Interzonal, Tunisia 1967 (Nov) – Napoleon wins

(Hoogovens 1968; Monte Carlo 1968; Chess Olympiad, Lugano 1968; Palma 1968)

World Chess Championship, Reykjavík 1969 (June) – Illya v. Napoleon (Napoleon)*

San Juan International Tournament, Puerto Rico 1969 (Oct) – Defection

Some of the early ones really ballooned, like Mar del Plata and the Piatigorsky Cup, because I really needed to give their relationship space to develop. And I'm so glad I did, I love all those moments and conversations they have. Sometimes I feel like I'm rushing through fics more these days, and this one was one I just allowed to grow, which is part of what makes it so delightful.

Anyway if you ever have questions about this fic please feel free to ask, I will never not want to talk about it. I love it so so much. Thank you for asking!!

[napollya-inspiration]

WIP Wednesday

And what if I want to share this snippet with you, who is going to stop me huh???? I have decided @cha-melodius tagged me on my main but I can share a snippet for every side blog I own if I wanted to so this is also from 'got lovestruck, went straight to my head':

He shrugs. There is no real answer to this question. Most days he feels like this is all he has ever been, sometimes it’s what he needs to believe to make it through another day. He wouldn’t have gotten here if he hadn’t run through the streets of New York as a boy, pickpocketing and making up the most outrageous lies. There’s a difference though and he knows it. Illya is not asking about those lies. The ones that come easily and rarely mean much. He’s referring to the ones told to the ones he’s supposed to trust, the ones he’s supposed to love.  “I suppose the KGB took from you when you started their service,” Napoleon settles on. “The CIA took from me, too.” It wasn’t the CIA directly, of course. But the reason why he had ended up in their grasp in the first place. “You were upstanding thief then?” Illya asks, mockery evident in his tone. Or was it teasing? It’s hard to tell with him today. Napoleon smiles. “No,” he admits. “But I didn't start pretending then.” The truth weighs heavy on him. It’s an unwelcome guest in Napoleon’s life at this point but it sits at their table now all the same.  “I see,” Illya says and Napoleon is afraid he really does.

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: Prompts, but like, the previous week

Tsukihime

Smut, Ciel suggests a threesome to Shiki with Arihiko. It quickly devolves into Shiki/Arihiko realizing they're a lot more interested in fucking each other than Ciel.

Melty Blood

A look into what the other three members of the Back Alley Alliance get up to when Sion, Satuski and Riesbyfe aren't the ones in the spotlight

Fate/Stay Night

femboy!illya experiences the dangers of wearing a skirt

FGO

This is a bit of a weird one but you know that painting of a revolutionary inside a palace looking at how decadent it all is? That but Paxti arrives in Chaldea showing the same emotion over everything they actually have

fun fact: many herbs and spices are technically poisons that humans are just extremely resistant to. Relatedly, I want to see Guda, right after contracting with Mash and thus becoming immune to poison, going to ever more extreme and absurd lengths to actually get some flavor back in their food now that none of these damn spices DO anything anymore!

Nursery Rhyme asks Morgan to read to the Kindergarten Club. Morgan accepts only to find out today's book is Hungry Hungry Caterpillar

Smut, Pick one of the married servant couples in Chaldea (or several and be my absolute hero) and write what their first time looked like. Did Cleo top Caesar till he saw stars? How cheesy were Sigurd and Brynhildr without any idea of what was to come? What about Siegfried and Kriemhild? Did Xiang Yu and Paisen or Ryouma and Oryou have any troubles adjusting for interspecies action? Basically, just answer the question: We know what their relationships look like many, many years later, but what were they like at the start? Preferably with a LOT of romance and fluff. Please no NTR of any kind, and nothing involving bodily excretions that aren't spit or come (blood's on thin ice, but everything else is a major squick, so please, none of that...) but if you want to knock out some other prompts on here that wouldn't go against those limits at the same time, go nuts!

so you know that tonelico and Castoria have the almost same appearance (minus height maybe and eye color) Wouldn’t it be funny if a freaky Friday flip (aka body swap) happened? the problem is that it’s not like anyone would probably tell something’s off right away, thus chaos happens due to the swap

Ritsuka has no noble phantasm. Instead whatever closest servant available comes and loans their out.

Ritsuka wants to be more than "just friends" with Mandricardo. But unfortunately, mandricardo has both self esteem issues and the denseness of a harem protagonists, so all of Ritsuka's flirting attempt's go right out the window. End's in ritsuka deciding to fuck mandricardo to get their feelings across.

Kama's finally corrupt Ritsuka to their core, but simply corrupting them isn't the end, to finalize the process she must make the Master Humanity commit one of the biggest taboos in all of Buddhism, the killing of one's own father, the complete betrayal of the one who nurtured them, they must kill Doctor Romani for the sake of their love to Kama

Ritsuka accidentally calls Raikou "mom". And it's wholesome.

Oberon (due to being a lying liar that lies) and Ritsuka (due to a mixture of pride + fear) tries to get the other to confess i.e "Kaguya sama Love is War". With other servants in Chaldea watching the drama unfold.

Smut, Gudao getting "force"-femmed. There's absolutely NO WAY that he's into it and is DEFINITELY totally unwilling and he FOR SURE isn't entirely and totally into getting fat tits and killer hips and a chastity cage permanently locked around her dick HIS DICK HE MEANT HIS DICK. Bonus points the less convincing "his" protests are.

Three words: Barghest gets therapy.

Could I request a romantic tryst between Gudao and Caenis one night at the beach? Caenis is setting out to overcome their past trauma by seducing their master. Meanwhile, he is worried how Caenis is holding up over the summer event considering their disdain for the ocean because of said trauma. Whether it ends up with smut or just comfort is up to the writer. Please and thank you!

Smut, Final ascension Summer Kama's flames go out and she's suddenly naked in public. Time to see how long until she realizes (whatever the time is, it's definitely longer than she'd like!)

In a Grail War, elsewhen, elsewhere, a Master summons a wolfish looking lad with white hair- who looks quite upset to be here for some reason. "Servant Class Pretender Caster. The Name on my Saint Graph is... Fujimaru Ritsuka."

Upon hearing that his murder mystery lookalike was married to Euryale’s lookalike, Lancelot discovers that he doesn’t hate the idea of it. This leads to Lancelot awkwardly courting Euryale, while she’s completely caught off guard by someone trying to win her affection in an innocent way.

I'd love to be driven insane by an exploration of Guda, Daybit, and Camazotz as people who were forced to become something inhuman yet choose to still be "human" and do good - or at least, what they think is good - out of respect for those who have died, along with the memory issues they have because of the transformation.

Smut, incest, submitted this on the ao3 kinkmeme page but this blog seems to be a lot more hoppin' than the actual ao3 page for some reason? anyway please god someone write duryodhana/karna with duryodhana topping and that's it. make it as kinky as you want just no like piss or vore or anything.

Inspired by the recent fgo event: Blackbeard x Male!Guda romcom shenanigans/gay awakening?

Smut, Sei helps her new friend Mandricardo break out of his shell during the summer event by riding him like only a Berserker could

Smut, Yu-paisen getting fucked mercilessly by Xinag Yu while holding hands with Gudako who is getting fucked mercilessly by Red Hare

goredolf/mysterious heroine x. ideally wholesome. goredolf can get it

Honestly I just want to see Barghest being a pansexual disaster. There are a lot of very strong and very hot people in chaldea, and Barghest doesn't know what to do if this information.

Ritsuka is summoned into a grail war. Instead of angst though, Mash follows behind and forcibly turns the whole thing into an Emiya Gohan-esque timeline. Her Senpai already suffered in life and by God will she make sure they do not suffer in death.

Smut, The Beasts(Kiara, Kama, The Koyan Twins, Tiamat and Draco) all decide to have a tea party that definitely doesn't end in an all futa orgy

Enkidu has the biggest self-heal skill I'm the game (probably, don't @ me) so Barghest can safely indulge in biting off and eating large chunks of flesh and kidu and just go *10,000* and be fine. Smiling even.

Shuten and Ibuki look nothing alike despite being the same person. Gudako decides to ask one day what happened, and she quickly learned that all of her height and curves went down to somewhere else

I would like to ask someone to write something with Izou! I love my man and there is a serious lack of content for him. You can throw in some biting and aphrodisiac type of thing. Maybe/or some alcohol use, sexual frustration and the type. Thank you!

Shute Doji is a bottom. This is an issue for her, as there’s not a lot of bondage equipment or spines that can handle A-ranked legs.

Crossover

Chaldea finds a new and weird singularity, its really small, just the size of a city small and it radiates some weird power, its located in northern england in the year 1600, apparently its called "The Dungeons of Fear and Hunger" But i mean, how hard could it be?

[set-phasers-to-whump]

pick your poison

prompt: pick your poison

whumpee: illya kuryakin

fandom: the man from uncle

hey what's up!! i thought this prompt was such a fun idea and took it very literally lol. i hope you like it!

“It’s your choice. Pick a poison, or I will pick one for you, and you may not like my choice.”

Illya pulls uselessly against his restraints. They don’t move. The ropes just chafe his wrists and dig into his skin. The chair he’s tied to has been cemented into the ground. It doesn’t move either. He’s trapped, and he knows it. 

“Come now, you’ve tried that already. Just play my little game. Maybe you’ll still be alive by the end.”

Illya stares at the man. He’s holding two vials, one in each hand. Identical clear fluids fill both of them. He has been trying to find a difference between them but there is nothing. For all he knows they could both hold the same deadly substance.

The man notices him staring. He shakes the vials, one and then the other, as though they are something enticing. “One will kill you and one will not. It’s your choice, your life. My game.”

He keeps saying choice, but Illya has none to speak of. He either plays this insane game or dies. He either chooses a poison or the man chooses for him. He either has a fifty percent chance of dying or one hundred. 

He closes his eyes, breathes, opens them again. He’ll face his potential death head-on. “The one in your right hand.”

The man holds this vial up, shakes it lightly. “You’re sure?” He’s smiling. Illya can’t read him. Doesn’t know whether this means he’s made the right choice. 

He nods. He isn’t backing out of his selection now. 

The man shrugs. “Okay,” he says. He sets the other vial aside and picks up a needle. Illya watches as he draws the poison up into the syringe. There is a lot of it. At least if he is going to die it will probably be quick. 

The needle is capped and set aside. The man approaches him with a knife. He cuts through Illya’s shirt and exposes the skin of his arm. Illya stares at him the whole time. He will not be afraid. 

He watches as the man retrieves the needle, uncaps it. His fingers touch Illya’s bare skin. A shudder runs through him. He tries to pull away. There is nowhere to go. 

The needle plunges smoothly into a vein. Illya feels the poison getting pushed into his bloodstream. The needle pulls back out. The man replaces the cap, sets it aside. 

“Let me know when you begin to feel it,” he says, and with that, he turns and leaves the room. 

Illya doesn’t feel anything at first, apart from his heart pounding. He doesn’t think this is because of the poison. He is just afraid. He shouldn’t be, but there is a very real chance that he’s about to die. He doesn’t want to die. 

This part of the mission was supposed to be simple. Breaking into this warehouse and planting bugs to spy on an organization that has been illegally producing poisons and selling them to the highest bidder. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone here. But there had been, and Illya had been caught. 

The worst part is that he knows there is no chance of anyone coming for him. Solo had been sent on this mission as well, but he is doing his own work today, conducting surveillance on a meeting between a seller of these illegal poisons and a potential buyer. He won’t notice that Illya is not at their safehouse if he himself is not there. Quite possibly, Illya will have already been dead for several hours by the time Solo returns. 

His heart is still hammering in his chest. He thinks he can feel the poison beginning to work. He’s sweaty, though admittedly that is not necessarily due to the poison. But the feeling of weakness spreading through his body must be. He’s very glad he’s sitting. He thinks if he had been standing he would have collapsed. 

He doesn’t like this. His hands are starting to shake. He wants to get out of here. He wants to do something. He can’t just sit here when - when any moment he could die. He needs to move. 

He can’t move, of course. He pulls against the restraints with no real force. His body is too weak. But his mind wants him to jump into action. He feels like there is electricity running beneath his skin. He also feels like he wouldn’t be able to even stand up if he were suddenly able to get free. 

His heartbeat pounds in his ears. He wonders how long this poison will take to kill him, or whether it will even kill him at all. The waiting is horrible. 

The man comes back. He’s sort of blurry now, but Illya recognizes him. 

“Are you feeling the effects of your choice now?”

Illya looks at him and does not say anything (to be honest, he’s not sure he’d be able to say anything, anyway). 

“I can see that you are. Well, you’ve won my little game. The poison you’ve been given won’t kill you - probably. And I’m a fair player. I’m not going to kill you. As long as you don’t try to stick around.” Illya’s pretty sure the man is smiling as he says this. 

He blinks, and suddenly the ropes that had been tying him to the chair are gone. The man, too, has disappeared. 

He isn’t going to die. Probably. He’s free. 

He just has to get out of here. 

This is easier said than done. He tries to stand up from the chair and ends up collapsing right back onto it. His legs don’t want to take on any weight at all. They’re shaking. But he has to stand, to walk. He can’t simply stay here. The man will come back and kill him. He has to move. 

He forces himself to stand. That feeling of needing to do something has increased so much that his chest feels tight with it. 

He walks. His body does not want to cooperate with what his mind is telling it to do. He has lost all sense of coordination. He stumbles and staggers his way to the door from which the man had come in and out of before. 

He himself had used this door to get into the room. It leads to a hallway, he knows. The hallway leads outside. And once he is outside, it’s only a twenty minute walk to the safehouse. 

He steps into the hallway. It’s completely dark. He knows there is a door to his right, all the way at the end, but he cannot see it. He blindly staggers in the general direction of the door. Twice he trips over his own feet. Once he falls and smacks into the concrete below him. It takes him quite a while to stand back up from that, but he manages, propelled onwards by the intense need to keep doing something. 

At long last he reaches the door. He knows this only because he walks smack into it. He fumbles around in the dark for several seconds before finding the doorknob. 

He steps outside into blinding sunlight. It stuns him for a moment, stings his eyes, makes his vision blur even more. He takes a deep breath which doesn’t quite make it past the tightness in his chest. 

The warehouse is on the very outskirts of London. There is plenty of noise around him but no people. He thinks this is probably good. The last thing he needs is for someone he does not know to find him like this. 

Theoretically, it should take him twenty minutes to walk to the safehouse he and Solo are sharing. But twenty minutes into his walk, he has only just passed the halfway mark. Each step he takes feels like a massive controlled effort, fighting to make his legs obey his brain and then pushing past the weakness that threatens to make his legs simply collapse underneath him. 

Eventually, though, he does make it back. He’s absolutely dripping in sweat and his heart is beating so fast and that horrible restlessness in his chest is still trying to steal the air from his lungs. But he’s here. He’s so close to safety, which is the only thing in the world he wants right now. 

He makes it up the front steps with a considerable amount of concentration and effort and then remembers that he does not have a key. He’d hidden it this morning, just in case something had gone wrong during the day. This means the man hadn’t gotten his key and doesn’t have any way of getting to him again. But it also means Illya can’t get inside, because he cannot remember where he’d hidden it. 

He slumps against the front door, forehead pressed to the wood. He does not think he can get his arms to cooperate enough to even simply throw a rock through a window and let himself in that way. Picking the lock is absolutely out of the question. 

He’s so close. He pounds a fist against the door (which ends up being more of a light tap than anything else). He just wants to go inside. He wants to feel safe, wants all of these other horrible feelings to stop. 

The door opens. He falls forwards. For a second he wonders how on earth he had managed to get it to open just by hitting it, but then someone catches him and he realizes he had not, in fact, been the one to open the door. 

“Solo?” The name comes out of his mouth horribly slurred. He looks up and sees the blurry but still recognizable face of his partner. 

Solo pulls him inside and shuts the door. “What happened?” he asks. He sounds very worried. He is still holding Illya up, arms wrapped around him and Illya’s face smashed against his collarbone. Illya himself is barely holding up any of his own weight. 

“Poison,” Illya says, his voice still slurred. “Won’t kill. Probably.”

“Probably?”

“I think…I will be dead already. If it would kill me.”

“I think I should take you to a hospital.”

Illya shakes his head. “Here is safe. Good.”

“And if…do you even know what you got poisoned with?”

Illya shakes his head, which takes a monumental amount of effort. 

“So. You got poisoned by something, which probably won’t kill you but still could. You don’t know what it was. And you want to stay here?”

Illya nods. He cannot even imagine going somewhere else. He just wants to be here. He is with Solo. He is safe, finally. The tightness in his chest is loosening up. 

Solo sighs. “The second anything gets worse, you tell me.”

Illya nods again. 

“And if I think you’re getting worse, I’m calling for help.”

Another nod. 

“You’re absolutely sure you don’t want to go to a hospital?”

“Just want to be here.”

Solo relents. He sort of drags Illya along to his own bedroom. Illya is briefly confused about why they are not going to his bedroom, but then recalls that his room is on the second floor. He does not think they can make it. 

Anyway, Solo’s bed is comfortable. It’s soft and the blankets are nice and it smells faintly like his partner and once he is lying down he no longer has to think about anything else. He is completely safe. Nothing else is important. 

Solo sits down next to him. Illya closes his eyes. He feels Solo’s hands on his forehead, on his wrist. 

“How do you feel?”

Terrible. Weak and shaky and uncoordinated. Exhausted but with the dregs of that awful restlessness still lingering. But mostly, now, behind the door of their safehouse, with Solo here, he feels - 

“Safe.”

thanks for reading! the poison is made up, i just mixed together some effects from various poisons off of britannica lol. also i feel like this def could've been better but i am a bit short on time so alas this is all there is. regardless i hope you liked it!! <3

[muenbaima]

[Rochu]substitute

*Parallel Worlds - Ordinary People,translation.

*Ivan, the Soviet-era consciousness, and Ivan, the present consciousness, are divided into two people in this story.Ilya and Ivan.In this article it's a father-son relationship.

No one person can completely replace another. Wang Yao knew it clearly: Ivan and Ilya were not the same person. But humans were the best at self-emotional deception.

Ilya was a serious and slightly unsympathetic father to Ivan, a typical Slavic alpha, reserved, taciturn, and somewhat to the point of condescension.

Ivan and Ilya are so similar that anyone looking at them would be surprised that they are really cut from the same mould, but Ivan is the omega, which has caused an even greater rift between father and son. "-I'd rather have an alpha I can play hockey with," Ilya was drunk at the time, so he complained to his family over the phone, to which the teenage Ivan made the decision not to speak to Ilya again for almost six months, and since then the relationship that was already Since then, the father-son relationship, which could already be described as tough, never became close. Ilya holds a teaching position at school, has an average temperament, likes to drink and smoke, periodically falls into a drunken rage when he gets drunk. Often at these times Ivan avoids Ilya. Therefore, it was very disconcerting to Ivan that Ilya was able to have a second spring in his life even in middle age; after all, he didn't think many people could stand Ilya's bad temper - until he first met Wong Yao. For Ivan, the news of Ilya's remarriage was unexpected; Ilya had just informed him, his son, a week before the wedding and asked Ivan to take a leave of absence from boarding school to come home for the wedding.

Ivan didn't even know the name of his father's new lover yet, and he was already going to the wedding. He sat on the train, looking out the window at the rapidly receding landscape and experiencing the psychedelic sensations of life.

Ivan met Wong Yao on the eve of the wedding. Wong Yao was a good-natured oriental man, he was young, handsome and gentle. When they first met, Yao gave Ivan many gifts, the gifts were unwrapped, they all turned out to be educational matters related to education, although this was not the gift Ivan had hoped to receive, but no one could deny the appropriateness of this gift. Wong Yao was at the wedding, dressed in a suit and springy. He looked young, but only young. In talking to this Oriental man, Ivan sensed the thoughtfulness and refinement with which he regarded the world. Yao liked Ilya, it was obvious to any discerning person - in Yao's opinion, apart from the oppressive feeling of the Slav's tall stature and the occasional dark aura emanating from him, Ilya was actually a good person, he was straightforward, kind and at times showed a childlike innocence, all of which made Ilya attractive to people.

And Ivan was disgusted by it. He thinks Yao falling in love with Ilya is just crazy.Ivan didn't find the slightest bit of charm in his father.

"-They've loved each other for a long time," said the passerby, "it's wonderful to be together today, and you should be happy for your father and for Yao. Ivan nodded awkwardly, thinking what the hell. At the wedding, Yao had obviously had too much to drink and was in a very elevated mood, recounting many events of the past. Ivan looked at his father who was sitting on the stage, but saw that Illya had bowed his head so that his facial expression was not visible. Considering what Ivan knew about his father, Ilya was probably a little shy at the moment.

Ivan slept at home the night of the wedding, but unfortunately the narrow room didn't do much to block out the sounds coming from behind the thin walls - there was the constant creaking and rocking of beds, male sighs and coitus coming from the next room.

Ivan slept at home on the night of the wedding, but unfortunately the narrow room did little to block out the sounds coming from behind the thin walls-the creaking and rocking of beds, men's sighs and coitus were constantly coming from the next room. Ivan remembered that Yao was a beta, and a beta marrying an alpha was a rare event, he himself never thought his father would marry a beta. Beta is good, Ivan thought, at least he won't have to worry about an extra brother or sister. In the middle of the night, Ivan went to the bathroom and met Yao, who was drinking water outside.

Wong Yao was wearing Elijah's pyjamas, which were large and exposed most of the Oriental man's neck - Ivan could even see vague scratches on Yao's back. Yao saw Ivan and nodded politely with a straight face, not the least bit regretting disturbing Ivan's sleep by making love to Elijah in the middle of the night. Yao greeted him and then turned around to go back to his room.

The door to the room lifted, revealing a not-so-narrow slit, and Ivan saw his father Ilya lying on his back on the bed, a murky white liquid dripping down Ilya's pale thighs.

Ivan stood still for a long time, his face reddened, he fled, and the next day Ivan returned to his boarding school. Never again would he return home of his own free will.

After that, Ivan saw Yao several more times.

More often than not, Yao would accompany Illya and they would come to his school together, mentoring him, his son, like a reorganised middle-aged couple, about promotion exams and other things to pay attention to in life. Ilya had not been noted for his robust health in those years, and Ivan had not felt much affection for him - perhaps it was the genetics of his naturally withdrawn nature that had caused the emotional bond between father and son to probably not be as strong as a strand of hair. Ivan thought with anger that Ilya's poor health was probably the result of his insistence on marrying a younger lover despite his age.

It was just that Yao looked sad, and any discerning person could spot his sadness; the orientalist loved Ilya and wanted Ilya to stay with him, if only for a little while.

-- Then Ilya died, and the year of his death was the coldest winter in the area in a decade. At the funeral, Yao was dressed in a suit, he didn't cry, he just looked heavy and sad.

Ivan stepped aside and looked at the oriental man who seemed to feel lonely over the loss of his beloved. In the middle of the night, Ivan saw Yao in the living room, he was drinking silently, Yao was holding a cigarette in his hand and looking at Ilya's picture on the desk. Ivan didn't know how to meet Wang Yao, because without Ilya they were just strangers with no blood relation.

Ivan thought for a while, he took a blanket from the bedroom, the living room was unheated, he was afraid he would catch cold and tried to throw it over Yao, he noticed Yao raised his head watching himself and the sadness of the oriental man dissipated a little, his eyebrows rose up and his eyes were full of nostalgia as he looked at Ivan. "You look so much like your father," the oriental man sighed, sinking into reminiscence, "when he was young he was just as, nay, much more handsome than you are now."

--Ivan for a moment did not realise whether it was a compliment or a depreciation.

”I fell in love with him when he was young, he said he would give up everything for me," he muttered, "but he betrayed his love," Yao lit a cigarette. "After he broke up with me, he married your mother, a Omega."

Yao smiled jealously: "An omega can bring him to orgasm? That's ridiculous, he clearly doesn't like fucking people, much less omegas." You could hear the sarcasm and obvious irritation in the orientalist's tone, "-You know, for so many years, even when he was with your mother, Ilya always missed me." Ivan had never seen Yao with such anger and pain, the sarcasm and irritation coming from the Oriental man's eyes was so real. Ivan found it hard to breathe, he was so shocked by these words that he couldn't stand still and retreated a few steps away.

Yao also muttered some words, nothing more than that he had once loved Ilya a lot, but Ilya had betrayed him, and the oriental man didn't seem to love Ilya as much as usual, and even felt some indescribable hatred for his departed husband. Feeling frightened and shocked, Ivan fled and left, leaving Yao in the living room sulking and drinking.

This night Ivan dreams that Yao and Ilya are making love:Yao in a thin white shirt, hugging his father on the middle of the mattress; Ilya is naked, shirt loosely thrown over his shoulders, bottom straight and open to his thighs, black boots on his calves. Instead of looking like an alpha, he looks like a whore. Yao kissed him from chest to navel, kneading the flesh of Illya's chest with his fingers, white, plump and vibrating under the caress of the Oriental's fingers. "My Ilya." Ivan heard Yao say it softly, Yao lifted his crotch to fuck Ilya, Ilya's firm thighs clenched around Yao's waist, the combination of the two overflowed with clear liquid, staining the bed a mess, the weight of the two men pressing so hard on their family's old bed that it couldn't bear the weight, creaking and shaking as if it was going to collapse. Ivan suddenly woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat, half asleep, he lifted the blanket and realised he had ejaculated.

After Elijah's death, Wong Yao becomes Ivan's guardian. He also takes on the responsibilities of a guardian: he drives Ivan to the university after enrolling and helps him pack his dormitory.

Wong Yao went to help Ivan buy the necessary things, leaving him alone in the dormitory to gather clothes. And at this moment, Ivan rummaged through his luggage to find Ilya's old clothes. Ivan distinctly remembered that this old dress was what Illya and Yao had been wearing when they were photographed together when they were young. Illya and Yao looked young and beautiful in the photo, and every time Yao saw that photo, he was dumbfounded for half a day. Ghostly, Ivan himself put on that old dress of Ilya's.

The clothes fit him unexpectedly well, and Ivan admired himself in front of the mirror, although he didn't want to admit it to himself, but he looked just like his father when he was young. Ivan was in a kind of trance, for a moment he thought he was Ilya. When Wang Yao returned with his things, he saw Ivan. Ivan was momentarily distracted from his thoughts, he felt a little embarrassed, after all, he had been caught stealing his father's clothes, not to mention how shameful it was. Yao hadn't uttered a word since he walked through the door and looked at him in disbelief. Ivan wanted to change his clothes, but Yao stopped him. "Don't," Yao said hoarsely, "Just like this, let me hold you."

Wong Yao straddled Ivan from behind, and the Oriental burrowed the tip of his nose into Ivan's neck, sniffing almost greedily-an act so strange that Ivan felt goosebumps run down his body. "You smell just like him," muttered Yao with melancholy and a kind of disturbing hatred, "I wish you were him…." The Oriental man seemed to be thinking of something, his voice choked, and he fell silent. Ivan sat on the bed with only a thin layer of blankets, Yao drank wine and immersed himself in memories, he put his arms around Ivan and whispered many words. Their bare skin rubbed against each other, a warmth emanated from it that was hard to ignore.

--They ended up making love.

Ivan spread his legs almost obediently, he couldn't count when he started to get wet - probably from the moment Yao was on top of him. Yao bent his knee joints and pointed his cock at him, and their joint crackled and creaked with the sound of impact, and a little white foam squirted outwards from his wet body.

--Just sex didn't make Yao better, "It's not the same," Yao gasped with sobs, "you're not the same," pain and despair could be heard in the long-haired man's tone, but his lower body was honestly but his lower body was honestly but his lower body was honestly tense and furiously fucking Ivan's crotch. Ivan heard Yao's voice, when he climaxed, Yao wrapped his arms around him, the tip of his nose rubbed against Ivan's ear as he muttered: "…… Ilya, my Ilya."

Ivan saw Yao again in the school hospital. Ivan was lying on a hospital bed and irritably peeling an apple for himself. -It's not so bad, at least we can be exempt from exams this term！ Ivan thought silently.

"Who is Ivan Braginsky's guardian?" The nurse asked in a long drawn out voice, clutching the sheet. "me".Yao answered from the back. "Ivan Braginsky, 20 years old," the nurse read, "pregnancy four weeks, who is the father of the foetus?" The Oriental was awkwardly silent for a long minute, looking like he wanted to dig himself a hole and bury himself. "It's me too." The smile on the nurse's face froze as she collected the labs, "Sir, I'm sorry, could you repeat that again?"

End.

[heytheredeann]

Fic stats meme

I was tagged by @cha-melodius and @thetamehistorian, thank you! I'm curious to see the answers to these tbh looool

Rules: give us the links to your fic with the most hits, second most kudos, third most comments, fourth most bookmarks, fifth most words, and fic with the least words.

Most hits: Stretch (Buck/Eddie, 911)

Buck and Christopher don’t get separated during the tsunami. Eddie loses about ten years of his life in one day.

Knew the answer to this one LOOOL, it's just a little canon divergence set during 3x02, I still get comments on this pretty often actually, I'm happy it resonated so much! Though I did write it four years ago, so I don't dare re-reading it because I would most likely want to rewrite the whole thing loooool

Second most kudos: Everywhere I'm looking now, I'm surrounded by your embrace (Mike/Harvey, Suits)

Over the years, he became pretty good at dealing with the bond, keeping his soulmate’s emotions at bay just as well as his own, but today he’s in a terrible mood because of Jessica’s request to find himself an associate when there doesn’t seem to be a decent candidate out there and he’s having to deal with this crippling anxiety pushing from the back of his mind. He’s tried calming them both down the way he usually does when his soulmate is freaking out about something, but nothing seems to be working and he’s not sure if it’s because his own bad mood is getting in the way or whatever is happening is the end of the world for the guy.

Soulmates AU, from FIVE years ago, oh boy looool. I remember that I just really liked the idea of the whole "feeling what the other is feeling" soulmates AU, still kinda do, I enjoy that type of magical bond, though I have never really been much into the concept of soulmates itself.

Third most comments: Concession (Geralt/Jaskier, The Witcher)

Geralt not-so-secretly loves being the little spoon. Cuddling Without Plot.

I skipped a collection to count for this, because that's a bunch of stories together, and this is what came up! I had kinda forgotten I had written this LOOOOL, but it's just Geralt getting cuddles, which is always good and necessary.

Fourth most bookmarks: I held you hand as you shook in the middle of the night (Geralt/Jaskier, The Witcher)

Five times Jaskier snuggles up with Geralt, and one time Geralt seeks him out instead.

STILL cuddles for Geralt, I'm seeing a pattern here folks LOOOOL

Fifth most words: Stumbling (Napoleon/Illya/Gaby, TMFU)

First things first, they need to find Illya.

Finally something more recent LOOOL. This was a TMFU Exchange fic for @huggiebird, just whumping Illya like there's no tomorrow, as you do loooool

Least words: Proof of life (Geralt/Yennefer, The Witcher)

“It’s okay,” he says, only moments after waking up from his light sleep. “It’s okay, I’m okay. Go back to sleep.”

Tiny 271 words fic about Geralt comforting Yennefer, because I love them <3

[sadbi-hours]

I was hoping for a blackout, but at least I got a bingo! The list of fics and their square fills are below. I hope you like these fics as much as I did!

@ficreadingchallenge

Free Space: Obviously by lovelybattle

Fandom: Top Gun: Maverick

Pairing: Jake 'Hangman' Seresin/Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw

Summary: Jake groaned into the kiss, gripping at Rooster’s shoulders. Rooster pushed him against the door, hand roaming up and down his sides. He reached under Rooster’s shirt, running his fingers over the muscles that flexed under his touch.

Rooster groaned and moved his lips down to Jake’s neck, making Jake moan under his breath. “Um- I should probably-” Jake fell off into a moan as Rooster sucked a spot into his pulse point.

“Hang on I-” Jake tried again, “Rooster, I need-”

Rooster just hummed, running his tongue over the mark. “Bradley, I need to tell you something.”

Rare pair: with and without by thedevilsgarden

Fandom: Yellowjackets

Pairing: Misty Quigley/Natalie Scatorccio/Jackie Taylor

Summary: It's Jackie's brilliant idea to rent out the guest room, to add another person to this fucking mess. And even though Nat hates the idea, she isn't stupid enough to pick a fight over it. She and Jackie have been arguing enough as it is.

(or, Jackie and Nat are girlfriends on the verge of a break-up, until a cute blonde nurse moves in with them)

Small Fandom (<1000 fics): Fuck My Label. Fuck My Ex-Husband. And Fuck Deacon Claybourne by orphan_account

Fandom: Nashville

Pairing: Juliette Barnes/ Rayna Jaymes

Summary: It didn't relieve any of her annoyance that Juliette was being, well, normal.

Not the peroxide drama on legs that Rayna really wanted right now to take her mind off of things. Talking about her feelings – shit, having feelings.

Feelings that ranged from 'fuck my label' to 'fuck my exhusband' to 'fuck Deacon fucking Claybourne.' Three feelings that Rayna was familiar with inside and out. Rather acutely as of late.

Under the Influence: Late Night Wanders by Ember_andRain

Fandom: Harry Potter

Pairing: Harry Potter/ Pansy Parkinson

Summary: When Harry shows up drunk in the middle of the night, Pansy takes pity on him and decides to take him back to the Gryffindor common room; turning a boring evening into a rather eventful night.

Long Fic (>25,000 words): the blood in your mouth, I wish it was mine by inlovewithnight

Fandom: Ted Lasso

Pairing: Jamie Tartt/ Roy Kent/ Keeley Jones, Rupert Mannion/Jamie Tartt

TW: Dead Dove, please read tags

Summary: Rupert had blackmail material and offered Jamie a chance to buy it back--with his body, not with money.

Jamie would do anything to protect his people. He didn't know how far anything would go.

Superpowers/ No Powers AU: Accidental Perfidy by EvilPeaches

Fandom: Split (2016) & Glass (2019)

Pairing: Casey Cooke/Kevin Wendell Crumb, Casey Cooke/Dennis

Summary: Twenty-two year old Casey doesn't expect to meet someone she connects with at her Abuse Support Group. She never thought she would let anyone in, anyone beyond the protective wall she's meticulously built around her soul. Kevin is different though, different from other men. He understands her, understands her pain. For once, Casey thinks she can live freely again. Only, Kevin doesn't tell her everything. No. He left something out. Otherwise known as your boyfriend neglecting to mention he has DID.

Lyric Title- Listen to the song too!: for you, the sun will be shining by margctbishop

Fandom: Ted Lasso

Pairing: Ted Lasso/ Rebecca Welton

Summary: Most days, Ted Lasso thinks he's a pretty good dad.

Today is not one of those days. Today, Ted Lasso somehow managed to lose his son in a public park.

aka "we've only just met but my kid is obsessed with you and I don't know why, I'm so sorry, I really don't kn– oh wait... you're kinda cute" with a dash of soulmatism

Slow Burn: jolie laide by canardroublard

Fandom: The Man from U.N.C.L.E.

Pairing: Illya Kuryakin/ Napoleon Solo/ Gaby Teller

Summary: It's a strange term, Napoleon thinks. Jolie laide. "Pretty-ugly". A self-contradiction, banal words elevated in American ears by the exoticism of French. He's never understood why it's applied to girls with strong jawlines and sharp features. "Vogue girls". He's always thought it much more fitting for those with frayed and damaged edges on the inside. For those with tangled snarls of history but hope for the future.

Maybe all three of them are jolie laide. In their own ways.

(Or, the fashion AU which was supposed to be short but sprouted wings and flew away from me, featuring photographer Illya, model Gaby, and Napoleon, who brings everyone together.)

Unfinished/ In-Progress: Lady Flowers by beepboop (permanganato)

Fandom: House of The Dragon (TV)

Pairing: Alicent Hightower/ Rhaenyra Targaryen

Summary: Otto Hightower brings his bastard daughter to King’s Landing in the hopes that she might become close to the new Heir to the realm.

Found Family: A Dweeb in a Leather Jacket and a Punk Band by beezyland

Fandom: Orange is The New Black

Pairing: Lorna Morello/Nicky Nichols

Summary: Despite what her band says, they don’t go to that tiny, grimy 24-hour diner after every gig because Nicky has a crush on the cute, clumsy diner girl. Nicky just likes the milkshakes. And maybe she kind of owes that cute, clumsy diner girl her life.

High School/ College AU: if you could see that i'm the one by blanchtt

Fandom: Barbie (2023)

Pairing: Margot Robbie's Barbie/Gloria

Summary: She gets her exam back from her professor and a proposition along with it – tutor a fellow student for a few extra points.

Barbara hardly has to think about it. She has free time since volleyball ended, and she’s aiming for veterinary school after graduation, which is nothing if not competitive. If there’s anything she can do to up her GPA over her classmates - as well as help a fellow student, of course - then why not.

Future AU: I'll settle for the ghosts of you by FunkyinFishnet

Fandom: Sense8

Pairing: Wolfgang Bogdanow/Kala Dandekar/Rajan Rasal

Summary: When Rajan witnesses Wolfgang and Kala embrace, Wolfgang lifting her up off her feet while smiling more broadly than Rajan has seen so fat in the few hours that he has known the man and with Kala’s happiness seeming to make her face sparkle, he thinks, “Oh, I *see*.”

Rajan thinks Kala really doesn't love him in the same way that he loves her, and there’s no way that Wolfgang can love him at all.

Gift Giving: but if we could kiss and just cut the rubbish by mirniy_miro

Fandom: The Witcher (TV)

Pairing: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion/Yennefer z Vengerbergu | Yennefer of Vengerberg

Summary: Jaskier's love is in every word of his songs.

Yennefer and Geralt figure their own ways out.

Bodyswap: Eat Your Heart Out, Wolfgang Pauli By ishie

Fandom: The Big Bang Theory

Pairing: Sheldon Cooper/Penny

Summary: Of course, the answer is standing right in front of him. In the mirror. There's a bed and wall reflected behind him, a riot of color that clashes with tanned skin and rumpled pajamas and a cloud of blonde, blonde hair.

He's Penny.

Fanart: we are strange in our worlds [podfic] by aethel

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: Eleventh Doctor/Amy Pond/Rory Williams, Eleventh Doctor/Rory Williams

Summary: "Your boyfriend doesn't like me," the Doctor said, then winced. It sounded even more pathetic out loud.

[whumpdoyoumean]

Rules: share the first lines of ten of your most recent fanfics and tag ten people. If you have written less than ten, don’t be shy and share anyway.

Tagged by @deepwoundsandfadedscars! Thank youuu!!

I don't know who to tag which I guess defeats the purpose of these things but please if you see this and feel like playing along, do it!!!

First lines are under the cut!

The Broken Hearts Tour (The Penumbra Podcast; Junoverse) "Are we sure this set list is where we want it?" Juno asks, plucking the still-warm piece of paper from the printer tray before it's even had the chance to settle and skimming his eyes over the page with a thoughtful frown.

~

Everybody Bleeds This Way (911) As bitterly as he likes to complain, Buck doesn't really mind cleaning the rig, especially on days like today. It's late morning and the sun is shining in a cloudless blue sky, and it's warm enough that the water they're using to spray down the outside of the engine is refreshing rather than shiver-inducing. Somehow it's worked out that it's just four of them-Buck, Eddie, Hen, and the captain-and as things wind down, Buck is feeling ready for some end-of-shift shenanigans.

~

Prodigal (Fire Country) Bode wants to kill him.

He wants to kill Odin.

~

We Can Be Heroes, Just For One Day (Stranger Things) Eddie and Dustin aren’t in the trailer, and the makeshift rope looks like it’s been cut, lying in a heap on the floor beneath the gate. Steve’s stomach lurches. He almost throws up, probably would if he’d actually eaten anything recently. Instead he dry heaves twice, until he’s left trying to catch his breath.

If anything happened to them, if anything happened to that kid--he can’t even think about it. 

~

Many Partings (Stranger Things) “Nancy!”

Steve has seen a lot of terrifying shit these past three years. Confusing, sickening, shake-you-to-your-core action horror movie bullshit. Not just seen, but been through. Survived . 

But of all the terrifying shit, this is the most afraid he’s been. 

Because in this moment he feels truly, utterly helpless. 

And because this is Nancy. 

“Nancy, wake up!”

~

Damn Your Kiss (And the Awful Things You Do) (TPP; Junoverse) As much as he doesn’t actually want to be here, Juno has to admit pit boss has a nice ring to it. With the casino owner herself overseeing all activity on the floor from the security booth, really what he is is a glorified bouncer, here to act as a deterrent in case anyone feels like cheating. Taumata seems to think the eyepatch and frown give him an edge.

~

Beside the Still Waters (Grantchester) Will is in a particularly good mood. It's a warm, sunny evening, the streets lit by the orange glow that comes in the last weeks of summer, with a hint of crisp coolness hitching a ride on the tail end of the light breeze. He's just finished checking up on Matthew, who's doing remarkably well considering everything he's been through.

~

Juno Steel and the Inside (Wo)Man (TPP; Junoverse) The case starts the same way many cases start, with two words, spoken by Juno Steel.

"Why me?"

~

Break (Wolf 359) Eiffel looks over at the MRI machine from his perch on the table and shivers. The whole hospital is cold, but this room feels colder and the thin gray sweats and white tee they've given him don't do much by way of warmth. His arms are covered in goosebumps. But the shiver that runs down his spine has nothing to do with the temperature of the room. Something about the small, cramped space is awakening an icy dread deep within himself, an inexplicable need to be anywhere but there.

~

The Spy Left Out in the Cold (The Man From UNCLE) Waverly is unfolding a crudely drawn map when Napoleon stretches in his seat in an obvious display of boredom that has Illya rolling his eyes.

"I don't know what you're so worried about. It sounds like a simple extraction," Napoleon says with a sniff.

"Oh?" Waverly says.

"Another rich politician's entitled son, kidnapped from his private school or Wimbledon lessons, taken for ransom or leverage or whatever these bastards are after. We'll just waltz in, kidnap him back, and take him home to daddy. Simple."

[joyfulmagic]

@guiltburdened [Yelena] continued from [here]

"I only act like I know everything, yes?" She smiled. "I like to lure people into the spider web, and play dead."

"And then I take them apart, a piece at a time. We have a lead on any new Widows today, to liberate? We've done more than we could ever dreamed, in six months." She shook her head. "I'm getting the feeling that Dreykov was just...a middleman though."

"It is brilliant, <young Widow>," Arina praised, patting Yelena's back gently and calling her the term using Russian to call Yelena the nickname.

"It's because of your work, with Natasha, Melina, and the Red Guardian," Arina pointed out, "you are all heroes, for both Russia and the world. Even if not everyone sees us as such. Morally grey isn't common for heroes it seems."

"Yes, there are some Widows in the States now, trying to find any traces of the super soldier serum the U.S. Agent took," Arina noted, preparing her Widow Bites.

At mentioning Dreykov just being a middle man, Arina had to nod in agreement. "Based on him being my junior and the Russian Assassins existing before Dreykov's Red Room, I would say you're correct. I've never been able to find out who it is though," she confessed.

"Even Illya couldn't help me track whoever Dreykov's superior and predecessor is, or was at this point, back in the 1950s," she added, knowing Yelena knew Illya's reputation and skill set. He was on par with most Black Widows, simply being a bit slower due to his size. Granted, with the serum, Arina herself was six feet tall and it didn't slow her down.

[kocherga]

I often revisit moments from TMFU because it is one of the main sources of my serotonin, and today I have largely rethought the scene in which Illya, disguised as an architect, talks about the Spanish Steps. He could make up literally any story, but what was he doing? Yes, he interprets his injuries and transfers them to his image.

In short, his version is: a man lived, he had a mother, part-time his muse, and he made this ladder in memory of her when she died. Usually the muses of young guys are girls, brides, wives or sisters. But he's muse is mother, which is terribly ironic, given Illya’s past and the fact that “his mother was very popular among his father’s friends.” Plus, his file says he has an Oedipus complex.

I had the distinct feeling that Illya had never had a girlfriend in over thirty years. I can’t be sure if he’s a virgin or not, but for all his Soviet gallantry, he definitely doesn’t know how to communicate with women — even at the first “official” meeting with Gaby, he didn’t greet her and didn’t introduce himself, just appearing behind her and putting before the fact: “You’re my fiancée, I’m your fiancé, this is not discussed.” It wasn’t real, but Gaby was shocked to see him. At the same time, Illya still has some idea of how the relationship between young people develops: every time a moment threatened to develop into a kiss occurred between him and Gaby, he expected it — he himself stretched forward, covered his eyes, prepared for a kiss and was upset when his expectations were not met or interrupted by someone. All this makes me think that the only and main woman in Illya’s life was his mother. Hence the Oedipus complex, and the violent reaction in a cafe in West Berlin, and the story on behalf of the architect, and the awkwardness in the treatment of girls. He just doesn’t know how to interact, doesn’t know where to start.

[isnottherussianway]

Home

Illya lives a rather Spartan-esque lifestyle.

His apartment in New York City was procured by UNCLE’s accounting services and is paid for by them, but Illya asked for little in the way of furnishings. His apartment back in Moscow--a few blocks from Red Square and utterly deserted now--had similar furnishings, but the ones in New York were at least stylish.

He needed enough to allow himself some creature comforts, but there are no paintings on the walls, nor are there knick-knacks on the shelves. Illya keeps souvenirs from their trips abroad, but he doesn’t buy art to store in his home the way Gaby and Napoleon do.

He suspects that all of Napoleon’s art, hanging on walls or carefully dusted and sitting on all available surfaces, is stolen. Or at the very least, corruptedly begotten.

The others don’t visit his home often and it’s not shame that keeps Illya from inviting them over; it’s their invitations to their apartments. He brings wine when he visits, as compensation for eating their food and taking up space in their homes, but neither ever ask for anything in return. Illya feels guilty about it, but they wouldn’t ask him to stay for a visit if they didn’t mean it, would they?

It’s easy for him to shamble back to his apartment and keep only the floor lamp burning as he reads in the cushioned chair by the window. His refrigerator hums as it clicks into action in the kitchen, no record player to block out the noise. 

Both Gaby and Napoleon have record players. Maybe he should get one, too.

The street noise only bothers him in summer, when he has his windows open for the evening breeze. At the end of autumn, it’s nicely muffled by the thick windows and heavy curtains, the sound almost non-existent. Illya hears his ears click as he swallows another mouthful of hot tea--earl grey, surprisingly enough, and one Waverly introduced him to--and he smiles to himself, just as happy alone with his near-silent apartment, as he is with his partners, too much wine,  and a record player.

[cha-melodius]

Hi*

So I love your writing, and I've had this idea knocking around in my head that I wanted to suggest to you since I had a massage last November (ironically enough, the same day that I started writing my first TMFU fic). I had another massage today, reminding me to send you this idea.

So basically, the idea is Illya is a massage therapist, and Solo is his client/patient. Solo is an ambulatory wheelchair user (like an incomplete spinal cord injury), but due to pain in his back, he is having more bad days than average or good days, so he's using his wheelchair more often than before.

Waverly is his doctor and suggests that he should try getting massages to help manage/reduce Solo's pain. Solo is resistant to the idea but after a few months and several appointments where Waverly suggests he gives it ago he mentions it to Gaby and Gaby is like:

Wait I know a guy, you should totally give it a go. You've been miserable and in pain for months, what's the worst that can happen?

Solo begrudgingly agrees to one session to get her to stop nagging him about it. From the first session, it was incredible. He feels better, so he agrees to another appointment. As the months go by, he starts to feel better, his back pain has been reduced, and he has more good days again. He can start using his other mobility devices like crutches and canes again.

There's obviously the obligatory bumping into each other in public (maybe it's in public that Illya sees Solo using crutches for the first time, so he doesn't notice Solo at first and realises for the first time how tall Solo is, obviously not as tall as Illya but taller than the average dude). Both falling for each other and mutual pining for each other, thinking that the other isn't interested and that their feelings are born from the intimate nature of the massages (also imagine Illya's mortification at falling for one of his patients/clients.)

Then the whole kissing and Illya having to hand Solo's case over to another (not as good) massage therapist, but that's not a big deal when Illya can give him a massage whenever.

*I'm using my laptop for once, and the keyboard is fucked, so please excuse the extra 'e' or absence of 'e' that I have overlooked.

Hey anon, thanks for sending this in! These types of AUs have SO much potential for mutual pining, which is always excellent, because the of the forbidden nature of the relationship.

I imagine that Illya is an exceptional masseuse but he, shall we say, is lacking in the bedside manor department, lol. He's gruff and prickly; clients will try to chit-chat and he just barely responds (or doesn't at all). Of course, this just makes Napoleon want to talk to him more. I also always see Napoleon as an incorrigible flirt, and though I think he'd try to tone it down some given the circumstances, he also can't help himself (not anything suggestive, but stuff that's more harmless). Of course then Illya gets into the massage and renders him speechless. 😂

I think it would take a while for Illya to start opening up a bit, because he absolutely doesn't have personal relationships of any kind with his clients. Maybe when they bump into each other, Napoleon offers to buy him a coffee or something and Illya tries to refuse, but eventually Napoleon convinces him to accept it and they end up sitting in the coffee shop and talking far more than they ever have before.

I feel like Illya would hand off the case earlier than anything really happening because of the conflict of his feelings, but that actually has great potential for angst because Napoleon is upset that Illya's "breaking up" with him as a client, and they don't see each other for a little while.

Lots of great potential here, anon! Thanks for sharing!

[lastencoregraphics]

FATE/STAY NIGHT: HEAVEN’S FEEL III - SPRING SONG BD&DVD COUNTDOWN: A SCENE I WISH HAD BEEN INCLUDED (FULLY) / 7 DAYS UNTIL RELEASE

On the side of the road I look at the tall concave mirror. In the mirror is me, holding many groceries, and a girl, singing with her eyes closed. It's nothing. It looks like normal siblings going home after shopping. It looks so natural that it makes me imagine. …What if Kiritsugu were between the boy holding the bags and the singing girl? How happy would that be?

[nasuversekinkmeme]

Weekly Roundup: prompts

Mahoyo

Soujuuro, Aoko and Alice and pet play. Like he has a collar. Cmon.

Tsukihime

Where can I get some Nrvnqsr/Roa content?

FSN

Smut, On Today's Menu: a meal Shirou made, unknowingly containing that sex pollen plant. Consequently, all the 5th Holy Grail War ladies fuck, right in front of his salad.

Fate/Extra

nrt, Robin Hood cucks Tamamo in the Extella setting, specifically with Male Hakuno

FGO

turns out that guda isn't very versed in history and myth, despite the staff's efforts to educate them. so when enkidu opens up to them and how they miss their "king of heroes" guda comes to the logical conclusion that enkidu must want to fuck gaogaigar. they then invite enkidu to start binging a lot of mecha anime, and enkidu is confused but appreciates it

Guda die as virgin so when they got summon as servant, they decide to lose it. Why get laid is so hard!? (Comedy. A lot cockblock)

Smut, incest, Gudako really wants to rail Gudao. But it's wrong: they're siblings after all! Plus she's sure he's already getting some from others. So why can't she indulge in the very close looking Charlemagne, hm?

The new Elizabeth halloween form is revealed! Ignore how she looks suspiciously like Carmilla, and how a familiar shrill scream can be heard coming from a locked closet.

Euryale and Stheno are twins who basically do everything together, to the point where they refer to each other as "myself" in their voice lines. But I'd like to see something where Euryale, having grown from befriending Asterios, starts being more and more hesitant in following her sister in the Medusa bullying... until it explodes into Euryale and Stheno outright fighting. Stheno stayed the same, but Euryale didn't, and so they can't see eye to eye anymore.

Would love a fic (or anything else idc) exploring Euryale being so kind to Asterios because she sees her monster of a sister in him, and if she couldn'y help her sister then at least she can help this one guy.

David decides to court Barghest, in hopes of getting over his fears of taller women. Things go surprisingly well- until Barg’s urges to eat her lover start to kick in, and David starts looking like a snack (literally).

Smut, Raikou finds her dear sweet master peeping on her in the tub. Tsk tsk tsk. Naughty boy~ Seems like Mama Raikou has to teach her master a lesson he’ll never forget.

Smut, After a long day fighting in the Grail War; Yu Mei-Ren learns the wonders of polyamory, her ‘master’ learns the wonders of feet, and both learn about their own feelings. Maybe.

Krishtaria and yu-senpai meet in the afterlife and bond over their respective horse boyfriends (and their horse cocks)

gudako allows the support servants to have a break. Just as all of the support servants FINALLY rejoice, something bad happens. Bonus if the bad thing that happens is caused by either gudako or chen gong

The twelve paladins of Charlemagne (really three of them) have a quest…! To find Roland’s missing clothes before a special event because Roland had stripped and is now running around Chaldea butt ass naked!

Smut, Can we get some cock worship for Morgan? With either Mash, Mordred, or Baobhan giving her head.

Gore, Guda offers themselves up as sacrifices to the Aztec god of their choosing leading to some very gory fun

Any fandom

Might i humbly request some Lingerie admiration? Im not too picky on who, but I've only played FGO so that be preferable.

The all-swimsuit-servant holy grail war. Preferably with the viewpoint Master slowly figuring out that for some reason every single summoned Servant has a literal actual swimsuit as their battle attire.

Crossover

Illya summons Servant Berserker Kazuma Kiryu and wins the grail war because Tiger Drop negates all damage. Un/fortunately for them, Kiryu's a Yakuza protagonist leading to both wacky hijinks and heartbreaking moments.

Samurai Remnants

With her husband now in Chaldea, Tomoe decides to show him her new hobby of video games. But, while she gets into explaining and playing it, Yoshinaka decides to take up his favorite hobby and makes sweet sweet love. Bonus if Tomoe doesn't stop infodumping during it

[set-phasers-to-whump]

hair's breadth from death

prompt: gun to temple, "say goodbye"

whumpee: illya kuryakin

fandom: the man from uncle

hi! here's another tmfu fic for today, hope you enjoy!

His partners are being held by four heavily armed guards. They’re unharmed for the moment, but the guns pressed to their sides make it clear how quickly this could change. 

Illya, meanwhile, is facing them. He is on his knees and there’s a pistol pressing into his temple so hard that he can feel himself starting to bleed. 

For once in his life, he is truly overpowered. The man holding him at gunpoint is taller and wider than him, and, as Illya had learned when he’d tried to fight him off, stronger. The man is horribly impressive. In the right hands, he’d be a powerful asset. 

Unfortunately, he’s a Nazi. Who is intent on killing Illya and forcing his partners to watch him die. Illya has been threatened with having to watch them die if he tries to escape again. He knows that this guy means it, too. He’ll trade his life for theirs. He always knew that he’d go out at the wrong end of a gun, anyway. 

He keeps looking at his partners as the suspense reaches a near painful intensity. Gaby is silently crying. There is an awful mixture of fear and anger on Solo’s face. It will be okay, he wants to tell them. You will have each other. Thank you, he might also add. 

The guards stand there, immobile and expressionless. Then, just for a second, one of them makes eye contact with him, and there’s something there. It startles him, but then the moment passes. The guard’s face becomes blank again.

“Say goodbye,” commands the man holding the gun. Illya says nothing. He just looks at his partners and hopes that they can read what’s on his face, on his mind. 

There’s a click. The sound reverberates through his head. He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and bang. 

The shot echoes, becomes hundreds of shots, so loud that every other noise disappears. Everything goes white. He falls to the ground and wonders whether dead people usually feel the ground when they hit it. 

And then -

Then nothing. He’s conscious, sort of. He is aware of his own existence, but he can’t see anything. There are sounds, but nothing distinct. He wonders where he is. He never believed in an afterlife, but what else can this existence after death be?

“Illya, open your eyes.”

He doesn’t process the words at first, has no idea where they’re coming from. 

“Открой глаза,” the words repeat, insistently. He understands them, but doesn’t know what they mean. Does he even have eyes anymore?

He supposes he must. He tries opening them and finds that this works exactly the same way as it used to. 

He’s staring up at no one other than Napoleon Solo. And everything hits him like a ton of bricks. 

He sits up so fast that it makes him dizzy, blinking in the harsh light. 

“I am alive,” he says, the English muddled in his head but clear on his tongue. “Or else you are dead.”

“You were right the first time,” says Solo. “And as much as we’d all like to continue this little philosophical chat, we really need to go.”

Before Illya can fully process what that means, he’s being hauled to his feet and then they’re walking out of the same dilapidated old warehouse that he’d been in before, and in fact that he’s been in the entire time.

And then they’re outside and it’s pitch dark and he realizes that his head is bleeding. The side of his face is sticky with it and the pain is distant but present. He listens, for lack of anything else to do. No one is speaking to him, not right now, but there are three voices where there should be two. 

Illya puts the pieces together as the group hustles through the back alleys of Ankara. 

He’d caught the briefest glimpse of the mysterious third speaker inside of the warehouse, under the blinding lights. He is fairly certain that the man had been one of the guards holding Gaby and Solo hostage - the one who’d looked at him for that brief second. 

Extrapolating from that, he concludes that this guard had fired the first shot he’d heard, probably at the man who’d been about to kill Illya. Following that, he guesses that the guard had turned on his fellow guards, probably with the help of Gaby and Solo. That would explain all of the other gunshots he’d heard. Then there’s the blood, which he now recalls had been present before the gunshots. It’s from the barrel of the gun pressing to his head, that’s all. 

Everything is fine. 

--

They end up back at their safehouse on the outskirts of the city, and Illya finds himself in the small living room, seated on the couch between his partners and across from the guard who’d saved their lives. 

“I’m CIA,” he is explaining. “Soon to be ex-CIA, I imagine.”

As the man continues to speak, Solo turns Illya’s head towards him with a hand that is gentler than Illya thinks it should be. He begins wiping the blood off of Illya’s face with a damp cotton ball. It stings, and it’s something Illya should be doing himself. He does not need someone else to clean up a little blood.

He lets Solo continue, anyway. 

“- and I’ve been with this cell about a week, not learning much of anything and wishing I had the balls to disobey orders and just kill these sons of bitches, when all of a sudden we’re getting dragged out of bed in the middle of the night and there you are. And I’m under orders not to make myself known under any circumstances, but I can’t let them kill you. So I didn’t. And for that I assume I’ll be out of a job.”

He shrugs as he says this, like it isn’t a big deal, like he hasn’t just saved three lives in direct disobedience of CIA directives. Illya is - impressed? Disbelieving? Jealous? He settles for grateful. At least for now.

Part of him doesn’t trust the man - not that he’d ever trust anyone this quickly, no matter what they’d done - but he and Solo have apparently met before. So Solo trusts him, which is good enough. 

Speaking of Solo - he’s finished with his cotton ball but his hand is still on Illya’s face. He’s just kind of looking at him, which Illya finds more than a bit odd. 

And then Solo is grabbing him, wrapping arms around him, and Gaby is doing the same from his other side and it startles him for a second and then is simply confusing. 

Their guard coughs, and Illya’s face is currently buried in Solo’s shoulder but he can hear his footsteps quietly receding out of the room. And then the only thing there is is them. 

The thought finally hits him that he’d almost died today. And yes, he’s frequently almost dying and is very much used to being in constant danger. But the danger has rarely felt so imminent. Not to mention it had involved his partners. They’d almost died, too. But they hadn’t, and he hadn’t, either. They’re all still alive.

He returns their embrace, and the three of them sit there like that for a very long time. 

thanks for reading!!!! i know this was a bit light on the whump but rest assured illya has lots more pain coming his way over the next few weeks <3 hope you enjoyed and love u!