#having a lot more fun when I tell my brain to stylize instead of trying to draw exactly what I see

[salamispots]

haven't been to the aquarium in of the pacific in years so it was really nice

[pahrak-the-sinnoh-slizer]

[Games in 2023: Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective]

I was pleasantly surprised when the Switch port of Ghost Trick was announced: under-appreciated DS games are kinda my thing, this game’s stylized look conveyed a real sense of personality, and I’ve only ever heard good things from people who have played it.  “Why have I never played this before??” I asked myself, wracking my brain for the answer.  Then I played the demo and remembered “Oh yeah, I suck at puzzle games.”  But despite that, I still really wanted to see where things went, and boy am I glad I did!

Spoiler-free tl;dr: Ghost Trick is a wonderfully engrossing story about whacky characters uncovering insane plot twists that all build towards a satisfying and heartfelt conclusion.  I would recommend going in as blind as possible, but even without shock, the game is easily clever and fun enough to be a fantastic experience.

(Also content warning for animal death; the game is all about undoing deaths so it’s not permanent, but it can still be distressing to see it happen.)

The premise of Ghost Trick is simple yet creative: you play as a newly-dead ghost who has completely lost his memory, and must use your ability to possess and manipulate objects to solve this mystery and save the lives of the many characters you meet along the way.  The full narrative is anything but simple by the end, but I felt it was a steady, easy-to-follow escalation—though I have been told I have a high tolerance for plots involving time travel, so a grain of salt might be in order.  In my opinion it’s not especially hard to keep track of the game’s time shenanigans since you only ever go back 4 minutes before a person’s death to influence the situation in a way to avert their fate…until the very end, where you do learn a lot in a short time, and I could see a player struggling with that.

The style of the game really is impeccable.  Characters have very unique designs with bright colors and expressive actions, making it hard to mix anyone up despite how many people you meet over the course of the game.  Everybody makes a strong impression, and it’s easy to care about them and want to save their lives and find out how they tie back to the overall plot.  The connections between various characters are a bit tighter than you might expect going in, and it’s so much fun to steadily piece things together, each answer leading to only more questions.  There’s a point about halfway from which plot twists start to come one after the other, but instead of piling up, they come together, all building towards the same goal in a masterful manner.  It’s a very hard game to put down.

So, those puzzles!  I have to admit I was hesitant after struggling for the better part of an hour on one in chapter 2, but in the end I was able to solve all of them without looking up any answers!  It came real close a few times, and there was definitely an occasion or two where I stumbled into the right answer without realizing it, but hey, it counts.  The hints provided do a good job of leading you to the solution without just stating it, and can easily be ignored by players who don’t want their process interfered with.  I feel like I started to do a lot better once I started expecting I wouldn’t get everything right first try—don’t be afraid to do some trial and error.  The mechanics are sound: an item will clearly tell you how you can manipulate it if you can, and what items can be possessed are all easily identifiable whenever you enter the ghost world.  The trick (heh) most often is in getting the timing right, as you have a very limited range to “jump” between objects and can miss your chance completely if you don’t act fast while objects are in motion.  You’re explicitly taught this very early on, of course—the tutorial is very nicely structured, giving you all the information you need while a puzzle is unfolding around you with all the moving parts and tension you can expect all throughout the game.  The prison escape sequence stands out as a one-off with unique mechanics; it can be frustrating, as escort missions tend to be, but if you take it one step at a time it’s not too bad.  The only major addition to the basic structure is towards the end of the game where you gain a second ghost who can reach much farther, but in lieu of manipulating objects, he instead swaps the position of objects with the same shape.  It may only affect a handful of puzzles, but I think there’s a benefit to giving the player time to fully master the core mechanics before adding this new layer to things, and the possibilities it opens are well-utilized when they do come into play.  What tripped me up most often was needing to move each ghost to different objects out of each other’s way, since they can’t inhabit the same object; a minor annoyance, and quite possibly a skill issue on my part.

That’s essentially all there is to say on a mechanical level, so let’s talk more about the narrative.  The tone is largely playful but not afraid to be serious when it needs to be—you’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll be aghast in horror, etc.  Again, the plot is continually escalating and building more and more tension, quickly becoming too fascinating to put down, and the fact that it manages to stick the landing is no small feat.  It seems to me the moral of the story is selflessness: every character is shown to be in the wrong when only serving their own interest, yet when they do something with others in mind, the narrative consistently rewards them.  Sissel says his only real goal is finding his own memory, but what makes him the hero of this story is his willingness to use his abilities to solve others’ problems.  Cabanela is painted in a villainous light when it seems he cares only about his career ambitions, but when we find out this was a means to the end of helping Jowd, he’s presented as unequivocally a good guy.  Jowd may say he’s so eager to take the fall for Kamila’s sake, but when Sissel calls his methods out as ultimately selfish, he changes course and takes on an active role in resolving the night’s many mysteries.  Yomiel obviously embodies the selfishness the story is speaking against, but in the end, he makes the choice to do something selfless, and the narrative rewards him with a second chance. (More than that, the game wouldn’t have happened at all had he not brought Sissel with him to the junkyard; while perhaps not entirely selfless, I think it’s important to note that Yomiel’s path to a better future began with his desire to not leave his only friend all alone.)  It’s really cool to see this theme reflected in so many different ways across the cast!  And of course, the one who embodies the virtue of selflessness above all else is the top Pomeranian himself, Missile!  The very first time we meet him, he basically ignores the fact that he’s dead and instead prioritizes saving Kamila.  After he develops his powers, he makes the decision to remain dead so that he can use those powers to help Kamila and Lynne.  And at the very end we learn that he went back in time 10 years, and while waiting faithfully that entire time, he devised a brilliant and complex strategy to ensure Sissel’s cooperation in saving his family once and for all.  “Because that’s what doggies do!”  This whole wild ride that ends up saving so many lives was all possible purely due to the awesome, selfless love of a dog.  That’s beautiful.

It’s hard to think of any major criticism.  Ghost Trick is just really, really good.  It may be a few years overdue, but I’m really glad I finally got to experience this game!

[charmixpower]

🌊 Aish hairstyles 🌊

Literally oh my fucking god the designers can't think of more than three fucking hairstyles for Aisha, if I never see her with twin puffs again it will be too soon. Put her in a unique fucking hairstyle you assholes. This anger at the complete lack of interesting hair for Aisha is what sparked me to do this series in the first place. Just so I can show how fucking cool her hair could be if they weren't fucking cowards about it. Unsurprisingly this one took me the longest, with all the braids I had to line and color (tho it didn't take as much time as expected), but it was a lot of fun to do. I was easily the most excited to this one for obvious reasons. She looks great. I went a little ham on the gold jewelry but Aisha deserves it ok?? Her hairstyles in the show are so dull, she needs some fun

Side note, Aisha has the second longest hair out of the Winx, longest naturally, but it isn't visible due to how coily Aisha's hair is. My hair goes from barely toucing my shoulders to below my sternum, and my hair is curly as where I draw it Aisha's the 4 range. So yeah, her hair gets like at least 6 inches when straighten, going all the way to her butt. I also challenged myself to style her edges differently with every drawing djsjs which you can probably tell

Anyways on to the individual styles

Classic Aisha: this is the hairstyle I've started to usually draw Aisha in. Sporty and practical meet fun and feminine! I also gave her a nose piercing bc she, Musa, and Tecna have the vibes, and to fit the slight vibe of Andros. Aisha's hair in canon usually looks like it's on the low side of curly, and the reason why is made p clear by the miss magix ep and s8/WOW, so I decided to give her tight coily hair. Btw yeah that's her s2 camping outfit

Twists Aisha: this was my first foray into drawing this hairstyle, I usually draw dreads and box braids in this area, so it doesn't look super good but hey I tried jdnsjs. I wanted to stylized them so I'd didn't spend years trying to finish them, and you can visibly see me give up on that with the next drawing, but I think if I were doing a comic or quick doodles this is what I would go with. Anyways, I did this one because it really makes me think of Aisha athletic nature. Idk they just look super athletic to me, and I gave her a little extra ponytail for the fashion of it. Sporty chic

Mermaid-y: When I first drew these braids with the flat bottoms, they kinda looked like Mermaid tails to me?? So my brain was like, Aisha in her mermaid era <33. So my heart is set on her having this hair during s5, mermaid season, mermaid hair. It's literally perfect. Also I thought this top was super cute. This is where I really went overboard with the gold, but she's in her mermaid era, princess, guardian fairy, and dame. She can have a little (lottle) gold, as a treat. She deserves it, she's been though a lot lately with her family and Nabu being in a COMA. Some fun hair is good for the soul

Date night: light rage. They put Aisha's hair into pigtails for every causal event that happens and it inches across my last nerve like you wouldn't believe. Much like how that uniform outfit ruined one of Musa's hairstyles, pigtails feel ruined for Aisha, but making the. Apart of a braid really lessoned the blow. Half of me wishes I did a head wrap instead, but I can't just not include them. The outfit is super cute tho. She's going on a date!!! Yess!!! So pretty. I'm so happy with her earrings and dress. She and Nabu are gonna go have a picnic together, it's gonna be great

Box braids: I just got my braids taken out this Friday, which was fun (it hurt a lot, especially taking the small ones out ;-;) and I think it's a really good hairstyle for Aisha. I used to think that they'd be super impractical due to being so long, but because they're so heavy they're not actually annoying to deal with at all. They don't move all that much and they don't really get in the way. These would work perfectly for Aisha. Giving her the long hair, and the practicality. Absolute win! Of course I had to go for her outfit from her date with Musa. These kinds of braids always make me think someone has an important event coming up or they're trying to look cute, and a first date is a perfect occasion. I had so much fun with the earrings and braid decorations

Work out: I wanted to go for something simple, less fancy, and that doesn't require braiding, for of her hairstyles to just like her hair be itself and vibe. Here it is in a classic half up half down look, completely unbraided and vibing. Outfit slightly inspired by Serena Williams's entire aesthetic, including the headband. I didn't wanna put her hair over her shoulders, which admittedly looks a little weird but I wanted the high low part to be clear fjsjdnd

Poodle puffs: Personally I think Poodle puffs are really hard to styles, because it's hard to get the size of the puffs right without going too far in either direction. I think I got it right here? I think four is a good number of puffs. This is probably one of my favorite looks, mostly because of how warm and royal it looks. I'm a sucker for shiney jewelry and warm colors. I think this one came out especially well, I love the earrings, and the dress looks really good! I was worried it was gonna look silly but thankfully it doesn't

Bantu knots: She just looks gorgeous here. It adds so much to her orginal red carpet energy. Her hair is now all done up and fancy. Her nose ring also adds to the energy. I really like the earring, despite how lopsided it is lol, but I do wonder if it was a little too much for such a elegant outfit? Idk. Either way I didn't do anything to this look because I love it and she looks amazing. Not thoughts, head empty, bantu knots pretty

Princess Aisha: Hehe this one is probably my favorite out of all the hair. Not the outfit top XD. I don't like poofy European dresses rip. I got to go as fancy as I want!! I feel like Aisha usually tries to stay away from super fancy and complicated one event only hairstyles (which is why she usually goes for protective hairstyles she can wear for a while with low maintenance before needing to change it), but she's making a formal appreances, which means I can loop a gem into her hair. I also got to put big gems on her outfit and earrings which was super fun. This perticualr hairstyle always looked super royal to me and I had to include some proper beads on the look too. They match the gem she's wearing. Extra royal look. Her headgear as a child did something similar, but now that she's older she can just get proper braids put that do what the head gear was doing but better. Also can you tell that I was worried about getting too close to the edge of the page XD

[asotin]

what're your thoughts on castlevania (the netflix show, not the game, ive never played the game) what do you like, what don't you like? make it as long as you want. i don't care if i have to scroll for 5 minutes. go feral (personally trevor is extremely hot and i would like to date sypha. i'm not really into alucard's whole sickly victorian child aesthetic, yknow?)

oh god this is way too long, but you did say to make it as long as i want, and i have a lot of thoughts that i need to inflict on the world

i played two castlevania games, both from the nintendo gameboy era, so please don’t get mad at me, gamers

details below the cut, but since i’ll be talking about season three, i need to preface this with content warnings for mentions of: graphic violence, rape and sexual violence, racism, and the holocaust

before i get into it, i usually don’t go for alucard-type characters either, but knowing that he was redesigned to be bishounen sexy specifically because the boring, middle aged man look he originally had in the games wasn’t appealing makes me enjoy him. and he’s fun with trevor and sypha

do like:

the voice acting

it’s all good. i can’t think of any characters whose voices were awkward or fit poorly. they don't make sypha’s va use the standard flat affect or false high voice women tend to be assigned, trevor sounds suitably worn out but not monotone, and alucard sounds exhausted but in a sexy way

and the spanish dub is killer, arguably superior

the animation & design

it isn’t full-on artsy, but it’s definitely got a distinctive style that’s easy to look at. the color use and effects are gorgeous. it’s a story set in the medieval era, and the mixture of desaturated and oversaturated elements works so well with that

dracula’s castle and the belmont bunker aren't revolutionary in design, but they didn't need to be. they're suitably creepy and empty, and i enjoyed them

the monsters were unique enough to have obvious different types, and the scene where a monster commits blasphemy in a church by accusing a priest of committing blasphemy was good writing

lisa

she shows up to a stranger’s spooky home and scolds him for being rude. she really looked an ancient vampire in the face, told him he had no manners, then had a kid with him. what a phenomenal woman. 11/10, no notes

“start with me, and i’ll start with you.” you know what? i’d fall in love, too

dracula

this ancient, unfriendly vampire let a human woman walk into his home and tell him he’s got no manners. and that made him fall in love with her. just like that. lisa walked in and handed him his ass, and dracula thought “oh i love her”. and when she was killed (more on this in the bad section), he raised literal hell to destroy the world for doing it

speaking of lisa being killed, it fucks me up that it happened because she convinced him to leave the castle and experience the world. he left her alone to see what she loved so much, only to come back and find that the people he’d come to like- the people lisa had loved so much it drove her to help in a way that got her killed- had burned her at the stake. i love a good tragedy, and that’s good tragedy

the way he weeps when he has to fight alucard?? during a showdown in their home?? the “i must already be dead” moment in alucard’s childhood bedroom??? when he speaks to lisa about killing their boy, her greatest gift to him??? poetic cinema.

the trio’s dynamic

three bisexuals with two total brain cells and only alucard bothers using them. incredible

i went so hard for this ot3. it's right there and so good

sypha

she initially seems to be assigned the role of the adult™️ ie she's the only woman and gets stuck being responsible, but surprise! she’s just as annoying and dumb as alucard and trevor. she dropped a castle she didn’t understand on the ground and didn’t think too hard about it. then she argued about breaking it. i love her

if we don’t get an ot3, then she needs to have a dumb gf

alucard

he's got a stupidly low neckline and lower pants. they really leaned into ayami kojima’s redesign, as they should have. his little curl annoys me, though. why the fuck does he have a random section of hair that’s like three inches long when the rest is shoulder length or longer? love that he really looks like lisa

if you say he's canonically bisexual and polyamorous, no he isn't. yes he is. no he isn't :)

trevor

disgusting. a nasty man whose appearance mirrors his state of mind. he's 50 mental illnesses in a dirty jacket and his coping mechanism is… alcohol? maybe? he’s a mess, and i dig it

him trying his trick of kneeing alucard in the balls during their fight? and finding out it doesn't work? (which…… why doesn't it……?) juvenile but suitable

hector

his love of animals makes him my favorite. normally, i won’t touch anything with this much animal death, but i’m willing to set that aside because hector loves them so much. he’s so sweet and kind, and he loves his monster pets

yes he sided with dracula and has some really fucked up ideas about what constitutes humane treatment of people, and yet i love him. 11/10, but i have a lot of notes

isaac

i support him, including his murdering and his decision to support dracula. dracula throwing him out of the castle to save him was so cruel in that it was an attempt at kindness from a man who hated the whole world, but it was against isaac’s wishes

his time with the captain was great

idk enough about islam to know if he's portrayed correctly and haven’t seen any complaints, but given the show’s track record……… i wouldn’t be surprised if it’s not great

the forging

very cool. fresh and interesting! hector creating pet friends is cute and heartbreaking. love isaac for his dedication to reducing, reusing, and recycling

season 2’s big battle with all those vampires

the new version of “bloody tears” is phenomenal

this goes back to the animation, but listen……. it's so good. i loved the smoke vampire, and alucard’s fluid wolf transformations. his flying sword looked really good, and incorporating them together? super good to watch. and trevor’s whip?

the type and level of violence are suitable for what it is. it would be weird for a gritty show like this to be bloodless, but i don't think it would work if it were bloody to the extent of a slasher. it's also more clean violence, if that makes sense. you don’t linger just to look at gore; you see it because stabbing someone spills blood. the games weren't about extended, gritty scenes of realistic murder, so the show sticking with quick, slice and dice type fights fit with what i remembered of them

please watch this fight if you don’t remember it or haven’t seen it (part 1, part 2)

trevor’s whips

trevor’s weapons don’t follow the physics of normal whips, and they shouldn't. they’re heavily stylized and clearly a fantasy weapon, but they still have rules that they (mostly) have to obey. his morning star-whip hybrid in particular is so good 

it’s easy to follow, too. a lot of times, speedy weapons disappear, which is an understandable effect but one i find boring because there’s nothing for me to do. i’m just sitting on my ass with nothing to do

trevor’s whips don’t disappear. they’re fast, but you can always see them. and they have weight! you can see them slow down and gain speed. i don’t need physics to be real; i want movement to be pleasing, and that’s exactly what i get with the whips

don’t like:

fridging lisa

she could have been kidnapped (possibly make dracula think she was dead bc people want to lure out her scary demon husband, idk), then s2 could have ended with her and dracula reuniting as he died. she and alucard go on a trip together to attempt to make amends for the pain dracula wrought in lisa’s name. orrrr she dies a tragic death with him and we’re left to hope that they find each other in the afterlife. do vampires get to go to the afterlife? can alucard reintegrate? can he be happy with his new friends? or will he go back to his crypt and sleep again? will he ever be rediscovered? if so, what will he do? deep questions. i would prefer to cogitate on these instead of experiencing the shitshow that is s3

season 3

they should have ended it with dracula’s death. the quality of storytelling goes down immediately. just plummets. i’m sure there were problems in the first two seasons, but this one is so bad, i genuinely can’t remember

but i may as well get specific, so here we go:

abandoning alucard

trevor and sypha leave their friend alone in his childhood home where he just killed his father. where they helped him kill his father who, as i’ve said too many times, raised literal hell to get revenge for people burning alucard’s mother to death

yt they don’t talk about alucard. they don’t make any plans to touch base ever again. trevor’s entire family got killed. sypha’s culture, from which she’s now estranged, is family-centric. if ever two people should give a shit about alucard and know why alucard shouldn’t be left on his own, it's them

so what the hell is going on?

trevor and sypha’s relationship

look. it could be good. it would be better with alucard but they could be together and it could work fine

but this……….

trevor hates what they're doing. he hates traveling around and fighting. he's clearly tired and deeply depressed

sypha not only doesn't care enough to address it (did they forget the first two seasons?? sypha is annoying partly because she doesn't stop poking people) she might not even notice? yes, she's having fun, but trevor is basically dead on his feet in front of her

racism

hector, sumi, and taka all got done dirty 

sumi and taka

i hate the way they died. i hate that i’m certain that the plot won’t bring japan back into the narrative (or if it does, i don’t trust it not to be shitty). i hate the fact that by killing them off, i’m not going to get any more of them. they were interesting!!

speaking of the japanese vampire: the biphobia, arguably, given what happens with alucard

the addition of sexual violence

i don’t need or want lenore. if all she’d done was manipulate hector, i could have lived with that. she’s a villain, so she does bad things. that’s the point. but what she did was a massive escalation. we hadn’t had any sexual violence, and then the last few episodes gave us 

tumblr feminists who love her for how she treated hector need to be quarantined until their brain worms have been cured

everything that happens to hector

what was this shit? why did i open my netflix app and tap castlevania and find them making this man walk around naked in the cold to torture him? and starving him? he got manipulated, degraded, chained up, collared like an animal, and raped. and why? to show us how bad lenore is? that the other vampires are bad because they let her do it? i didn’t sign up for this

the holocaust reference

the imagery at the end of s3 when it’s revealed that the judge has been killing people he’s decided are undeserving to live and collecting their shoes in that barn was chillingly close to images of shoes taken from victims of the holocaust. there's no reason to invoke the holocaust here. it’s unnecessary and in bad taste

[bladekindeyewear]

Bloggin’ bout HS^2 Commentary from start to Mid-Jan-2020

Sigh.  Time to pay the piper.  Someone’s gotta extract whatever plot-important and plothole mentions get mentioned in this commentary, even though reading behind-the-scenes stuff about Homestuck makes me even more nervous than reading frontend stuff ever could so I don’t really want to.  FYI, that’s what you’re going to get out of my posts on these -- anything regarding plot stuff and plotholes, things we would’ve misinterpreted or missed otherwise, not any of the other paid content such as sketches or full quotes from them about things.

TWENTY FUCKING DOLLARS A MONTH!???!??  Is Andrew even seeing any of this cash?  --no, not much of it I guess, he would want to make sure the WP folks get paid enough after the--

Yeah I’m not gonna even think about that.

Fuck it.  I’m ponying up.

Alright, first commentary post on the Patreon, commentary and bonus sketches for Ghostflusters... whoa, this is long and extensive.  Is it going panel by panel??

I guess I’ll give you a small quote just for a taste of how this starts...

Page 33:  Not sure what any of this shit means. It’s pretty deep though. We were going for an echo of the beginning of the epilogue when John is dreaming in anime. Except here it’s Jake, and nobody is dreaming, at least not yet. Also an anime dream wouldn’t be a nightmare for Jake, since Jake likes anime. Or he used to. Now anime probably just reminds him of Dirk.

Good thing we’re never gonna hear from that guy ever again.

...because this commentary is sort of stylized.  They’re kind of riffing on what they’re doing, and I get that -- when you have to write commentary you’re asking people to PAY for you can easily feel like you have to be entertaining.  But they are describing the rationale for the shot choices they made and such.  They’re also going for a sort of Andrew-recap sort of attitude, and I don’t blame them for that choice, either.

[Candy] Jade is...well, you’ll see.

GOD DAMNIT.  Don’t remind me that Dave vanished on her forever while they were doing pro-revolutionary work and she’s probably going to be in a bit of a state!  Stupid knowing author future allusions...

Then again, that’s exactly why I’m here blogging about the commentary for you guys -- for me to relay Authorial Intent on Stuff That Happened That Seemed Plotholey and Hints About What’s Going To Be Relevant.

I just, uh... didn’t expect there to be that MUCH of it.  And that casual phrasing for that Candy Jade Is Going To Be Seen And Or Relevant hint is... kinda indicating to me that there’s gonna be a LOT more of that here than I wanted.  :|

Continuing... there’s talk of why they started with Jake here, being unused to writing for middle-aged characters in Homestuck terms, et cetera, but again, I’m only here to relay anything with plot impact or SERIOUS perspective on how we should / the authors are viewing this.  The rest stays behind the paywall for whichever of you all think it’s worth $20, I don’t really have a choice.  At least now I know why there was no one to tell me what details were actually BEHIND the paywall.  Seriously, that’s steep.

Speaking of how stylized the commentary is here, I can get why some might read it and view the authors as slightly callous -- I’m giving them PLENTY of benefit of the doubt, though.  Andrew was FAR from callous and he hurt us worse out of love of artistic intent with the Epilogues than the HS^2 folks could EVER hurt us.  Real Dirk-like, actually.  Dirk is practically half of a self-insert, as we well know.  No wonder Andrew thought the right thing to do was to take his hands off the story, what with Dirk’s villainous action being putting his own hands ON the story.

We like to make fun of Jake English as much as the next guy, but he probably is actually pretty good at “doing things” if the need arises. 

Mhmm; there are some jibes at how screwed up Jake has made his life, but I don’t believe these authors actually disrespect Jake at all.  He was dealt a bad hand by the story leading up to this point (quite INTENTIONALLY by Dirk’s narrative control in the Epilogues, too) and HS^2 and its bonuses so far have been exploring the heap of merits and potential he’s still got in him.

It’s kind of sweet how he wants to clean out his ecto-son’s house, even if most of that is to prevent the slow creep of mounting existential dread and narrative relevance. 

Huh.  So they think Jake can sort of feel that narrative relevance is seeping in around him, to him?  That’s not out of the question at all.

Continuing... they’re going on a bit about the same sort of things I mentioned about their choices in detail or detail-less-ness when depicting people in this new format, considering ages and the paired text descriptions and such.  That’s the sort of thing you’d traditionally want to pony up for commentary for, so rest assured that all that IS in their commentary posts if you want to do that.  I’m kind of extracting the plot stuff out of the paywall just on principle.

A lot of making this comic--and every other comic ever--is trying to convey as much information with as little space as possible.

Quite so.

From this conversation we find out a couple things. 1) that Brain Ghost Dirk knows about Ultimate Dirk, and he thinks he’s a dickhead. 2) Brain Ghost Dirk knows who Jeff Bezos is, and Jake doesn’t. This could be a sign of a couple things, all of which are probably stupid. 

This is ALSO what I came here for:  Legitimate “don’t worry about it” handwaves about stuff that shouldn’t matter to us.  I never ascribed the slightest bit of relevance or inference to BGDirk making a Jeff Bezos reference, and I’m glad I was completely justified in ignoring it.  So far I agree with this probably-plural-but-acting-like-a-singular author’s train of thought.

Come to think of it, it’s maybe strange that in this Cool Future Earth where all of our characters are rich as hell, none of them have bothered to have any sort of corrective eye surgery. Jane, Jake, John, and Jade all still wear glasses. I guess they do have “signature looks” to maintain in regards to their brand. 

I had to include this, I was legitimately curious.  Understood it was probably an artistic decision to stay on-brand a fair bit -- and losing glasses even temporarily has a lot of thematic significance whenever it happens in Homestuck Proper -- but it’s nice to have some confirmation that this was the understandable rationale behind the choice.

Here we find out what Dirk thinks about Jake’s behavior of the last few years. In other words, we find out what Jake thinks about Jake’s behavior over the last few years. [...]

[Brain Ghost] Dirk is manipulating Jake here, but he isn’t actually saying anything demonstrably untrue. 

Again, most of this was obvious at the time, but it’s nice to have authorial confirmation on what was being brought across as per the strange divide between Brain Ghost Dirk’s independent will and his mostly-part-of-Jake status.

Seriously though, shoutout to the conceit that god tiers can just fly endlessly, with no visible effort. It’s a really excellent form of narrative shortcut that fits perfectly into the bonkers vibe of earth c as a whole. Oh there goes one of the Creators, just flying over the Wal-Mart like an asshole. 

You know... who IS doing the commentary here?  One of the authors, all of them?  One of the artists??  This really is a COLLABORATIVE effort between the authors and artists involved here, I think, and it shows in their clear surprise and appreciation for each others’ work that only settles into a full understanding instead of just knowing what one intended off the bat.

It calls into question exactly how much of the Condesce’s mind control was actually mind control at all, and how much was just a lowering of inhibitions. 

Right, right.

We see Jane greeting Jake here with open arms, which makes you wonder exactly what is going on here. If you’ll remember from Candy, Jane has already served Jake divorce papers. A mystery in need of solving, for sure. 

HERE we go!  This is the potential plothole we were concerned about that got me alerted that the commentary had something to add in the first place.  John mentioned toward the trail-end of the Candy epilogues that divorce papers had shown up for Jake.  (And we also saw an HS^2 update ago or so that Jane hadn’t actually KNOWN Tavros was “awol” at all until he was literally a part of this whole clowncorpse logistics business.)  So in light of what this post continues to say:

It could be that Jane has put aside the nasty business of their divorce in order to have a strong chest to cry on. Can’t really say I blame her. Jake English has many flaws but he does seem like a good person to drape yourself across and really let loose on. And without Gamzee there, Jane needs another punching bag. 

...it all finally fits as pretty logically consistent, although the author is being deliberately coy in a way that leaves it open for more to be revealed later about exactly how this is happening.  Good!  No obvious plotholes in HS^2 (yet).  That’s an honest relief.  The more often they have something in mind where I’d previously worried they’d screwed up, the more often I can give them credit and speculate properly on those gaps in story-logic expecting something there, like we so often got to with Andrew before the retconsplit made even THAT kinda fucky.

If you’ve ever had a friend or family member go evil, you’ll know that one of the hardest parts is there’s always still elements of them that you like.

I can definitely say that from nearly personal experience.

Also, at this point in the story there is no lingering doubt that Jake and Dirk have had a sexual relationship. There’s a familiarity there that wasn’t around when they were teens. 

I assumed so, but I guess I never thought ABOUT how I assumed so.  Huh.

Do any of the creators have a moral leg to stand on if all they’re doing is curling up into a ball and hoping the world gets better without them? Actually, does anyone have a moral leg to stand on if they do that? 

Almost Riddley, there.

These posts are certainly interesting!  Steeply priced for what they are, but interesting.  Moving on to the second of four so far... this one’s about Catnapped Part 1.

Taking over Earth C's business world certainly would have required rubbing shoulders with the already-powerful on the planet.

--yep, which I never doubted even when brought up in the Epilogues is a large part of her supply-side government views.

Ah, looks like the bonus commentary is a good deal shorter!  But that bonus section was a good deal shorter than the story section covered earlier too, so.

On to the next one, for Clown Logistics.

Page 58: If you love Vriskas, i hope you enjoy more Vriska content. If you hate Vriskas, well. Here is another one that is kind of different. Feel free to contemplate nature vs nurture and how best to apply this dichotomy toward emoting about the vriskas of your choice how you see fit.

I’m starting to really enjoy this author commentary.

Tavros being named Tavros sure was a decision. Go back and reread the commentary for panel 58 but stop before the nature/nurture thing, since they are not clones, or even the same species. They just have the same name, which, in this universe, means you at least type kind of the same.

Hmhmm.

Page 65:  Sometimes you try and come up with something to say about a page, and you cannot, and so you wait 8 hours, and go see Knives Out, and then you have 2 white russians, and then you still can’t come up with anything to say, but oh well! Commentary needs writing. Tavros is experiencing an emotion here.

Now THAT’s a mood.  I gotta go see Knives Out sometime soon.

...Alright, I can see why some people think MAAAAYBE this author might be being a little disrespectful to the audience, but if they’re going based on THIS, I don’t have a clue what they’re talking about.  This comment could have come from Andrew’s fingertips any day of the week!!!  I honestly wouldn’t WANT replacement authors who couldn’ comment like this in there for a page in paid commentary, especially in a lighter section of the story that doesn't need too much said about it.

And I paid $20 for this shit.

...Continuing, I’m loving all this commentary on Harry Anderson.  Representative excerpt:

Again, direct your eyes toward the boy. What a fucking asshole. 

...these commentaries are honestly improving my mood!  I didn’t expect that, really.

Ah, I didn’t even notice that the flying cars appear to be self-driving.  I think maybe the back of my mind MIGHT have noticed but only a bit.

Referring to the corpse-carry crew:

Page 82: Pokedex entry for Magneton in Pokemon Sun: When three Magnemite link together, their brains also become one. They do not become three times more intelligent.

Ain’t THAT a mood.

(...I just had an internal “Wait, am I using that right, it being a “mood”?  Isn’t that the hip new term, how do I have any right to latch onto that however much I feel it?  Ohhh gosh I’m so fucking old” moment.)

It’s clear from the commentator’s complaints that the crew never viewed this commentary ALONE as worth upping the pledge to $20, but that’s... not quite a bad thing?  I think it’d have been more disrespectful to think that they COULD make the commentary worth that.  I doubt there’s a single person on their team who feels quite right about the business model (besides the artists they have plenty of context to know how deserving they are of a living goddamn wage), but it’s what they have to live with and go with, here.  I feel weird for honestly understanding ‘em, and more than slightly pitying for how many people will look at all this and read “these assholes don’t care about us”.  I really can’t think that’s anywhere CLOSE to true from this without more context.  (And I really DON’T want more context, don’t send me any.  I’ve got to read HS^2 and I’m enjoying reading it so far so let me keep enjoying it please.  Background drama details make me nauseous, DON’T give me any if there is any (which I wouldn’t know about in the first place beyond an opinionated friend or two dropping hints in a bad mood).)

Did you know there are people who I’ve seen honestly believing “Undertale is pretty good but the creator is an arrogant asshole”?????

Because they saw his tweet about the game score passing Kojima’s MGSV on metacritic briefly and misinterpreted his wide-eyed disbelief, disbelief honed to nervous laughter to maintain sanity by Toby’s insecurity about his unprofessional work and work product???  They thought he was SERIOUS without any of the context of the usual insincere little dog persona they should’ve read into the game of his they played??

Awh man.  That just ticks me off.

Anyway where were we.

Page 91: This is a flashback so I didn’t write this one, which means I thankfully don’t have to say anything about it. 

Wait.  What?

Are they trading off writers between chapters, or...?  Hm.

Whatever they’re doing, it fits together pretty darn well SO far.

Alright, that finishes that off, time for the last commentary post on the second bonus update.

I don't know if you noticed, but everything is terrible right now. And I don't mean just in Homestuck's dumb fake earth. I mean in our dumb real earth.

Now that’s a mood.

I've been playing a lot of Death Stranding recently. Basically any media that you're making in 2019 has to either address what's going on around us or come off sanitized, sterilized, with its head in the sand. Kojima offers a simple power fantasy: Through Norman Reedus's sweaty, urine-filled labor, the things that divide us can be banished. America can be unified again.

Now THAT is a god damned MOOD.

The author(?) goes in about why this is happening, why Jane is being confronted this way, why she IS this way, et cetera.

Privilege, safety, and inherited wealth do funny things to the brain. People justify to themselves why they have what they have. If you have enough for long enough, you start to convince yourself you deserve it.

That’s one of the biggest goddamn reasons for the inequality and political landscape we have today IRL, yeah.

She saw a new world and chose, simply, to replicate the power structures of the 21st-century America she was raised in. Boardrooms, power pantsuits, formality and professionalism.

Jane's favorite comic, a noir-detective drama steeped in the pop-cultural trappings of pulp Americana, reflects this mindset.

So, our catgirl Seer of Light takes us through the looking glass, and we get to see an old friend.

Hm!

Nothing really to say, I just had to share this fitting context the author is giving.  How things fit together even better than they seemed to, and this was all far from random.

I feel warmly ensconced in the womb of nostalgia, gently cradled on Norman Reedus's chest.

Pffffffff

Yep, more of what we already surmised and appreciated, how Swifer and Cliper were giving us some much needed perspective... the commentary post even has little traditional-Homestuck sprites for ‘em.

And... that’s it for the commentary so far!  Again, I enjoyed all that more than I expected.  $20 doesn’t sting for me as much as it does for others in general, but it stung a lot less after I was through reading all that honestly somewhat-entertaining stuff confirming a lot of the insights I’d thought the plot was having.

I’ll probably wait to check for further commentary posts until like... after bonus updates come out, in the future, and then just blog about whatever I’m not caught up on.  Sound fair?  I’m going to blog as often as a real or bonus upd8 comes out, but I’m not going to pop in more often than that for my own sanity’s sake.  Have a good MLK weekend, y’all.  :)

[singingwordwright]

Shadowhunters recap - s2ep18 “Awake, Arise, or Be Forever Fallen”

SHADOWHUNTERS Recaps Intro and Masterlist

These recaps may contain spoilers from the books (that may or may not happen in the show.) Proceed at your own risk.

Recap and meta under the cut.

Gotta give it to Max, he’s a little badass. Temper that with a bit of discretion and maybe he’ll actually live to reach adulthood, contrary to all book canon. Like, seriously Max, you couldn’t have gone to find Alec or Izzy once you realized what the hair leading you to Sebastian meant, instead of confronting Sebastian yourself?

Gratifying just how many times Sebastian gets stabbed in this episode. Of course, I’d prefer it if one of them was a mortal wound, but alas…

If Lindsay was lurking in the hall outside Alec’s office, she should have heard Max’s head crack against the desk. A blow hard enough to knock someone out and cause them to bleed from their nose and ears would be LOUD. I’ve literally heard real people hit their heads in ways that do much less damage and it sounded like a melon exploding.

Now that the banter and fun goofing around is back, so is Simon and Maia’s chemistry. I think this is the magic of Simon. I bought the Climon relationship the most when he and Clary were being giggly and having fun together. I found Simon and Maia’s chemistry in s2ep06 to be off the charts, again, when they were bantering and laughing. For some reason, whenever Simon forgets to be that guy whom women can laugh and have fun with, he loses a lot of what makes him click in his various potential pairings.

My frustration hit its peak with the fact that Sebastian was right there in the middle of everything while everyone was all, “Where is Jonathan?” There’s only so many times you can yell “HE’S THERE!!! HE’S RIGHT FUCKING THERE IN FRONT OF YOU!!!” at the TV before you just throw your hands up in the air and say, “You know what? Fuck it. You’re too stupid to live. I hope he guts you all.”

They carried this plotline right up to the brink of me hitting that point.

Current sexuality: Magnus saying, “m’lady.”

“Your crush” Oh, I’ll show you a fucking crush, you pint-sized wretch!

Let’s all take a moment to bow our heads and be grateful the producers are making a young-adult urban fantasy show and not a hospital drama. Because they would be really, really bad at it. Seriously I was cringing.

And what the fuck were the runes flashing on the monitor over Max’s head about? Are they there to remind the infirmary medics “This is how you draw an iratze. This is how you draw Nourishment. This is how…” (I’m not sure what that last one was, but it looked like some Shadowhunter stylized version of the Caduceus or the rod of Asclepius.)

Of all the times for Magnus to refuse to take Alec’s call.

Wow. I’d forgotten what an asshole Season 1 Alec could be. He’s come a long way, considering that in-universe it has literally been six weeks since he and Magnus met (No, seriously, check out my timeline if you doubt me. I did the math so you don’t have to.)

I say “asshole” in the most loving way possible, of course. He had his reasons, but he was indeed an asshole. It just goes to show how unhappy and uncomfortable in his own skin he was, and how much losing that burden of hiding himself away from the world impacted him.

Still, I sort of wanted Magnus to push back a little harder when Alec low-key threatened him. “If you let anyone know…”/“Oh, you’ll do what, Shadowhunter?” Because Magnus could almost certainly kick Alec’s ass with all but one of his little pinky fingers broken.

I’m glad we’re finally getting down to business with the whole Ollie thing. But IIRC it’s against the Accords (or Covenant?) to let mundanes know anything about the Shadow world. Which means Luke could be in trouble if the Clave gets wind of her finding out.

And why is so so eager to know, anyway? Like, why was she all up in his business?

I’m wondering if it doesn’t actually have something to do with Maia, considering the way Ollie zeroed right in on her. Say, Ollie’s a cop, but she also, idk, moonlights helping Sam (who maybe is a private investigator?) by taking on missing person cases at the behest of desperate families. Contrary to book canon, we’ve been given some indication that Maia’s parents may actually care for her, so what if they hired Sam and Ollie to track Maia down, and find out she’s gotten mixed up in what might look to be (on the surface) a weird wolf-worshipping cult?

IDK I’m just spinning bullshit theories.

I like how at SDCC Isaiah said that Luke is grooming Maia to take over the pack someday, and how we actually sort of saw that in action here.

I liked Jace’s distress here, because with the exception of s2ep08 and a pat on the head in the last episode, we haven’t really seen him and Max interact or gotten any impression of how his relationship is with Max. And his distress here feels a lot more…sincere? relatable, maybe?...than his oft-repeated bouts of brooding manpain over his upbringing under Valentine.

And, strangely, his pain feeling more genuine also made Clary’s empathy and support feel more genuine. This moment made me feel more of a connection between them than just about any other moment they’ve had on-screen together.

Funny how when you build a relationship between characters out of moments and situations that are arise organically within the plot—rather than forcing it—it just works better, isn’t it?

I feel like I should say something about Bat, but I just don’t have much of an impression of him or what part he’s going to play within the plot, yet. Kevin Alves seems incredibly sweet and eager to be a part of the show, however, so there’s that?

“Rebooting of the brain.” Really? (The part of me that actually knows something about medicine is rolling its eyes so hard right now. This was badly done. Suspension of disbelief in one area only works if you are meticulously grounded in accurate reality in other areas, and this would have been a good area to do that. Massive head trauma that can’t be magically woo-wooed away.)

I have lots of thoughts on the decision to keep Max alive, most of them not good. I was prepared for the pain of him dying, which would have struck pretty close to home because I have a 10yo son. And as a storyteller, I think it would have gone a long way to establishing the stakes for this story.

Like, Valentine wants to commit genocide, and Sebastian wants to help him. We all get that. And we’re all horrified by it. But genocide is a MASSIVE concept to try to really wrap your head around. The human brain, I think, tends to shield you from really grasping it. It’s just too much.

This is a problem faced often by storytellers who are writing stories in which the fate of the world is at stake. It’s too big. The audience can’t connect with it personally, can’t internalize it. So you take that, and you distill it to make the stakes personal. One death, of a character who is beloved by your protagonists and hopefully by your audience, an innocent with all the potential in the world that will now never manifest, stands in for the thousands or millions who will actually die if the bad guy isn’t stopped. That death becomes a rallying point for your protagonists, and a symbol to your audience of just how evil your bad guy is and how much he needs to be stopped.

In short, Max needed to die. He needed to die as tragically as possible. It would have had a lot more storytelling mileage.

God. This scene was just everything I could have asked for their first time to be. I’m pretty sure I wrote a line in a fanfic once about Magnus telling Alec that one of the rules of his bed was that you had to be able to laugh in it, so the giggling and giddiness was just so perfect. And the fact that Magnus responded “No such thing” when Alec expressed concern that he might be doing something wrong is really something else I could have written myself.

It was tender and sweet and sexy without being objectifying and I loved it.

I will say, though, I’m probably in the minority in that I never wanted or needed to see a scene where Alec was confronted with Magnus’s cat eyes for the first time and explicitly stated his unstinting acceptance of him. I always felt it would be othering to go that route. And I felt like this idea that Magnus, who is so incredibly powerful, would lose control so easily a little absurd. I always liked to imagine that the idea that Alec would find NOT being accepting of Magnus unthinkable, that he would be honestly and sincerely befuddled by the idea that Magnus’s eyes might be a Big Deal. “Yeah, he’s a warlock, he has a warlock mark, I’m not sure why that’s supposed to be something that matters.”

That said, if they were going to go there, then this was the way to do it. The thread that weaves through Magnus and Alec’s story in this episode and ties past to present is the fact that they come from different worlds, and with those different worlds come different obligations and priorities. So in this case, the othering was entirely the point and it played into that theme.

So, if it had to happen, I’m glad it at least happened within this context and wasn’t just schmaltzy.

I really loved Luke being such a badass here but I’m certain allowing Russell to live is a bad idea.

Seriously, though, Russell. Not only is Luke a badass just as a werewolf, but he’s got the martial training of a Shadowhunter. How do you imagine you’re going to win this?

Probably one of the most realistic fight scenes I’ve ever seen in terms of showing just how exhausting fighting becomes in very short order. Too many drag out too long before the combatants start to show fatigue.

I really want to know about the cooks at the Jade Wolf. Are they werewolves themselves? Is that why the kitchen staff never bats an eye at anything, including these people waltzing in and out of the kitchen and storeroom?

The scene with Maia explaining her backstory was extremely well done and Alisha Wainwright is all things wonderful and I love her.

“This is what love got me.” Let’s take a moment to recognize the symmetry of Maia and Simon’s stories though. Becoming a vampire, a Downworlder, is what love got Simon as well.

I can’t say anything about this scene that hasn’t been said before, and better, since they released it as a sneak peek. But it’s so beautiful and my heart hurts.

Magnus’s moment with the Lightwoods all together on one side of the hall and him by himself on the other is incredibly poignant but I can’t find the words to really examine it properly. This is the point at which things just began to hurt too much and my brain stopped being able to cope with it.

I’d really like to know how Jace, who can sense Alec’s happiness over things like having sex with his boyfriend for the first time, couldn’t sense the lack of a spike in grief that would have surely occurred upon Max’s death. Grrr.

The fight sequence with Sebastian taking out all the guards was amazing and Will Tudor is brilliant. Did he really use a sword that was still stuck through someone’s body to parry a blow?

What the hell was with him just using his hand to open the crypt, though? No rune or anything. Can Sebastian somehow channel magic?

This whole thing with Clary was awesome and for once she seemed to be working for her miracles so I’ll ungrudgingly let her have this. The one thing I don’t know is what finally tipped her off about Sebastian. Was the electrum nugget thing too warm after he handled it? Did she just realize she never saw his palm? What made her chase after him and check his palm?

I loved her stabbing him. Twice. I’m fully in support of stabbing Sebastian. Yes. Please. Let’s stab Sebastian more. Sebastian for Pincushion 2k17.

Sebastian continues to be a creepy-ass fuck. Seriously, WHY did they decide to go with the incestuous obsession thing? There are so many other places they could have taken that story.

I like that her Open rune that burned through Magnus’s wards also exploded the Institute security doors. I appreciated that for a couple reasons. First, because Sebastian taught her to do that, to use her runes and make them more powerful. Second, it’s also a nice little nod to the books, since we didn’t get that scene of Clary totally disintegrating and blowing up Valentine’s barge with that rune.

Sebastian has vamp speed, too?

I want to ship them, but I haven’t managed it yet. In-universe it’s been like, a week, since Clary and Simon broke up. And of course we know they’re not end-game. But the writers ended up making me buy Climon more than I ever expected to, so maybe they’ll do the same with this one.

I just don’t want to see either of them hurt, so if Simon ends up ending it with Maia, I’m going to be upset, and if Maia ends up ending it with Simon I’ll be upset. *sigh*

I hated seeing the home Simon has been making for himself torn apart like that.

This is the moment of my first death and the beginning of buckets of tears. This look on Magnus’s face after Alec says “our way back to each other.” I can’t. I just can’t. He’s just so heartbroken here.

And the way Alec’s eyes close when Magnus touches him.

And the way Magnus’s voice almost breaks when he says “I love you, too.”

And the way Magnus is trying to smile, just a little. To hold on to some of the joy he’s found with Alec. To file this portion of his life away as a happy memory. To remember Alec as a good thing and not a source of sorrow.

There are so many nuances here and every single one of them fucking slays me dead.

Alec’s disbelief and denial.

Alec’s youthful, naïve insistence that if they just work hard enough, if they’re just determined enough, they can find a way, and Magnus’s world-weary wisdom and centuries of experience telling him there’s just no chance for them.

“You once asked me what I was afraid of. It’s this.”

And here’s my second death. That all along we thought that Magnus was afraid of being alone, being abandoned, like Camille said, he never does well losing the people he cares about.

So, we’ve always thought he was afraid Alec would break his heart. Leave him. Be repulsed by him. Choose duty over him.

We should have known better. Magnus has lived long enough to have his heart broken before, and he knows he’ll survive it.

His real fear is inflicting that pain, that loss, on someone else.

My third and finale death. Alec stifling a sob is where I just lose it entirely.

So I guess what I’m saying here?

Yes, this is a break-up. That’s my read on it. Sorry. It just is.

I don’t believe it’s a permanent one. Of course it’s not. If they’re not back together by the end of the season, at least on some sort of tentative, provisional basis, I’ll be very surprised and extremely pissed off. If I’m left with this boulder sitting on my chest over the hiatus I’m not sure I’ll survive. This show is supposed to be my happy place and I think if they leave me in this hurty place for very long it’s going to ruin it for me.

I don’t think the producers will let this linger long.

But this scene right here? As far as Magnus is concerned in this exact moment as he’s walking away from Alec?

He thinks they’re done. He thinks they’re over. He means it to be that way.

Something will happen to make him change his mind, though, and that’s important. Because here’s the thing:

We’ve seen Alec choose Magnus over and over and over.

He chose Magnus in s1ep06 when he walked away from the Institute and duty to take an evening to at least investigate the possibility of doing something that wasn’t about duty.

He chose Magnus in s1ep12 when he walked away from his own wedding.

He chose Magnus in s2ep06 when he turned his back on his own fears and misgivings and plunged into this relationship.

He chose Magnus in s2ep08 when he challenged his mother’s lack of acceptance repeatedly and sent her a very pointed message about their relationship.

He chose Magnus in s2ep10 when he rejected Aldertree’s words about the impossibility of relationships between Shadowhunters and Downworlders.

He chose Magnus in s2ep13 when he risked censure from the Inquisitor to take a stand for what’s right.

Even when everything he’s ever been trained and brought up to do is telling him to do the opposite, he has chosen Magnus repeatedly.

The only time we haven’t seen him choose Magnus was with regard to keeping the secret about the Soul Sword, and even then, his choice was about Magnus, even if it was paternalistic and wrong-headed.

What we haven’t seen, though?

We haven’t seen Magnus choosing Alec. We see him clearly aware of the difficulty in their situation, especially since s2ep12, but he never really chooses to stand against it. Which is not to say he’s not committed, not at all. We’ve seen Magnus put himself on the line and expose himself and make himself vulnerable for Alec. That’s huge. But with the exception of his hesitation to keep pursuing Alec in s1ep12, we haven’t seen him make that same deliberate decision to damn the obstacles between them and make this relationship happen. His commitment has been more along the lines of ducking and covering and hoping whatever is heading toward them blows over before it pushes them to this critical juncture.

We need to see him make that choice. Everything since s2ep12 has been leading to him making that choice.

Now, I don’t want to step outside my lane, so I’m gonna tread carefully here. 

The thing we have to remember is that Alec, coming from the privileged group, is much safer choosing Magnus than Magnus is in choosing Alec. He’s got that safety net built in, so it’s easier for him. He may face censure and perhaps a decrease in some of his advantages (like being passed over for job promotions) but no consequences that he might face are on the same level of what Magnus might face.

So the two dilemmas and the choice to stand against their respective obstacles are not equal. If Magnus choses their relationship over his people, he doesn’t just face censure, he faces genocide. Pretty big difference there. The only possible way he can justifiably choose Alec at all is if he somehow discovers that choosing Alec dovetails conveniently with the best way to protect himself and his people.

My prediction is that something in the next episode, or in the finale at the latest, is going to bring Magnus to that decision point and make him turn around.

But for the moment? Right now, this scene?

I know it’s going to be an unpopular opinion, but Magnus really does mean this to be a breakup.

[ai-da-ice]

[JUNON] Tonikaku Da-iCE!!!!

Let us tell you about this photo shoot (laughs). Letter stamps were prepared as photography props. The person who put all the letters together to spell out the title of the upcoming song [TONIKAKU HEY] would be named the champion! This is the game the member played together (laughs). When the start of the game was announced, desiring to be first place in the world, Haya-chan needlessly gathered all the stamps for himself (laughs). Why is Taiki-kun grasping for the bottom by spelling the word “TONIKAKU PAY”. ..?!?  In the second round, the one who spelled [Da-iCE] first would triumph, though they only had capital letters so they couldn’t get the traditional lowercase stylized parts right. This time they were only allowed to take the stamps one by one, and if they grabbed the correct stamp, they could move ahead, if not, they had to throw it back … it was a fierce battle (laughs). Here as well, the one that was completed first and was defending his place at the top was Yudai -kun! …Hmm? Yeah, Yudai-kun, turned in his paper spelled like “DAI-CE” (laughs) Ah ~ how fun!

Tonikaku Fun

Sota: Recently, Toru-kun and I were working on a stage play, and our amount of activities with Da -iCE was smaller, so it ’s fun to be here with five people again. When the five of us came together after a long time, I thought “I like this the best” yet again. When going out on stage just by myself, I sometimes felt frustrated. In the meantime, when I was in Osaka, I was talking to Toru-kun and confessed to him saying, “I am more powerful when it’s the five of us” (laughs).

Yudai: Both of them kept talking about how they love Da-iCE so much.

Toru: Yes. “I can do anything if it’s the five of us!” (laughs). But because we were working with actors in a similar place as us, doing both music and acting, I think that strengthened us.

Sota: Those were really great relationships for us.

Hayate: Wasn’t one of those actors EXILE’s Matsu-san? (laughs)

Toru: Yes, that was the MATSU-san we co-starred with (laughs). “Stop Da -iCE, let’s do a group together”.

Sota: I wouldn’t say anything by “Nnn~” when he said that, but he’d still be like “Eh, ya?” (laughs)

Hayate: When you told me that, I couldn’t stop laughing (laughs)

Toru: MATSU-san then started saying, “I want to join Da -iCE” all the time, and I was happy just to hear those words.

Sota: He’s really kind

Yudai: Since the stage play began, I began to follow Sota and Toru-kun on SNS more closely. Because I could not see them in person so often (laughs).

Taiki: When the three of us went to see the stage play, Yudai immediately started imitating it. We also started recognizing the dialogue quickly because “If Yudai’s imitating it, it was from the stage play “(laughs)

Yudai: I wanted to imitate cool phrases. "You’re cutting when you want to slash.”

Taiki: That is really cool

Sota: I expected to smile when I saw the members from the stage, but when I checked where the members were beforehand, it was strange just to have Toru-kun on the stage with me (laughs).

Hayate: At that time, for some reason we were really nervous with excitement (laughs).

Taiki: As I thought, years after meeting each other for the first time, we have a sense of security in each other.

Sota: It’s the best with all five of us.

Toru: Hey, how many times are you going to say that? (Laughs)

Taiki: Usually I do not have much time to meet people, but I guess the five of us are already at a family level, so I have to keep meeting them.

Yudai: I’ve seen you all naked [[at this part, the translator almost spit out her milk on her keyboard lol T^T]]

Taiki: I don’t need to see you like that. Let’s be real. Moreover, I want to hear the stories of the stage play “Chiruran Shinsengumi Requiem”, getting back on topic. It’s interesting to talk about it from each other’s perspectives.

Yudai: And here I wanted to talk about fishing stories (laughs)

Sota: Fishing stories can also be funny.

Toru: I also wanted to ask about that. I’ve heard Atlantic mackerel have a lot of fat. I saw it on SNS.

Sota: Oh, I’d like to eat a mackerel

Yudai: It wasn’t easy, but once I caught 70 in one day

Sota: You caught 70? Crazy!

Taiki: And now we’re talking about fish, the width of this group’s conversation is wonderful (laughs).

We love Tonikaku

Sota: Everyone loves [Tonikaku HEY]. At first we planned to release another song, but we agreed, “We’d like to do this song instead”, so we asked the staff to switch. After all, the music I love most of all is the kind we can do well live.

Toru: We’re all about lives, after all.

Taiki: Yeah, it’s definitely about lives.

Sota: After that, I like Junon.

Hayate: We’ve been indebted to you for the longest time.

Sota: You’re the first magazine we appeared in.

Yudai: I remembered the room being decorated

Sota: My parents have three copies of that issue at home

Hayate: I have a memory of wearing a gray hoodie with a blue check jacket.

Toru: Oh, those were our personal clothes, I remember.

Sota: I was in a denim shirt.

Taiki: I was wearing beige riders a sempai had given me.

Toru: Yudai was wearing boots and a leather jacket.

Sota: Toru-kun was in a black jacket

Toru: The one I’ve been wearing for seven to eight years.

Taiki: It’s black leather.

Toru: There are holes all over it (laughs).

Yudai: The pocket was also ripped.

Taiki: You still have that?

Toru: No, I threw it out honestly (laughs).

Taiki: I did not have any money in those days and I did not have that much clothes, but I tried to stay in fashion.

Sota: I want to collaborate with JUNON on a PV next time (laughs).

Tonikaku Surprise

Taiki: A surprising thing? That would be the two of them doing “Chiruran.” The pressure of acting. I was surprised at their aura.

Hayate: We were crying from beginning to end

Taiki: I felt an understanding with the story

Toru: Eh ~ I’m happy

Yudai: My heart was pounding the whole time

Hayate: Same as me, my heart was fluttering

Sota: Why? (laughs)

Taiki: Because “one motion”, “one motion” was amazing. [[He’s referencing a line from the play about sword fighting]]

Sota: I guess it was amazing for the members, too.

Yudai: Also, it was the first stage play I saw in my life.

Hayate: Me too.

Yudai: So everything was fresh.

Hayate: The transition between scenes was clear, so it was very interesting.

Taiki: It was amazing, wasn’t it?

Hayate: I also wanted to sword fight. I do not have to go out on stage, but I want to learn the sword (laughs).

Sota: The “Chiruran” sword fights are probably close to your image of it. You make mistakes over and over until you can reach the swift speed of movement we showed onstage.

Yudai: It’s a high level.

Hayate: “Binbin” came out!

Sota: Did you just try to quote a line? (laughs)

Toru: There’s the line “Binbin Kuru ne” (laughs). I appreciate it. I am surprised that you remembered that (laughs).

Yudai:  Atlantic mackerel is pretty cool at this time of year.

Sota: Then, let’s go fishing together, all five of us, next time.

Yudai: That would be really fun. For three or more people, the price of the ship is discounted, so I would like to go out!

Toru: I want to go to Hatsushima by ferry.

Yudai: That’s past Atami, isn’t it?

Sota: I’d like to do a BBQ after fishing.

Yudai: There are a few places we could do it. But I also want to fish at Hatsushima.

Taiki: I’d go if we went to Otaru in Hokkaido. When I was in Hokkaido, I ’d get up at 3 o'clock in the morning and go fishing sometimes, but since I came here, I have not gone.

Toru: Oh, then I’d like to go to Hokkaido for an interview with JUNON (laughs).

Sota: Now that you mention it, let’s go there with our fan club.

Hayate: I went fishing one time in the river. But I’m pretty sure I hated the insects on my fish hook!

Yudai: If you get used to it, would you like to come?

Hayate: No, I do not need to get used to it (laughs)

Toru: I definitely don’t want to use anything like centipedes.

Yudai: But, for Atlantic mackerel you don’t need insects. Just attach a small squid to the hook

Toru: That’s fine. It seems like you have a really strong desire to go fishing.

Yudai: It is delicious to eat.

Sota: As for me, I’ll eat it too!

Tonikaku Scared

Taiki: Personally I am afraid of a haunted houses. Rather than entering, I do not even want to think of it and have those memories in my brain. Even if I return home, I’ll still be thinking of it and bringing the scary memories to life.

Sota: I also hate haunted houses (laughs). As for fears related to Da -iCE, I’m afraid of the next tour. During our last anniversary, we were able to perform at the Budokan, and our next tour is a hall tour. My fear of the pressure is strong. Even if we do something unique, I’d like to do a good live that will allow me to exceed what we did at the Nippon Budokan.

Taiki: Even now there is always tension and pressure, right?

Sota: But it’s OK to be nervous, since I think I can’t give a good performance if I’m not a little nervous.

Taiki: Yes. I think that being nervous is definitely better. I often heard the quote “Is there any way to not get nervous? No, because being nervous is necessary”.

Sota: I think that I care a little too much about it though. Every time I get so nervous that I start trembling.

Taiki: In short, when we do new songs for the tour, it’s always nerve wracking to do it in a place we’re not used to (laughs).

Toru: When we go on a new stage for the first time, the anxious feelings while waiting in the wings is incredible

Sota: I think lives I go into without feeling too nervous usually wind up being the most terrifying ones in the end, though. So I try to keep that sense of nervousness (laughs).

Hayate: That’s right. I give myself a push on the back and embrace the fighting spirit

Sota: When I get nervous, my fighting spirit is even more impressive than ever! (laughs)

Tonikaku Impressed

Sota: Speaking of being impressed, on Tonikaku HEY’s coupling song “Sugar High”, I feel like the 3 performers worked together with us well to form a really solid chorus. That was something I wanted to do with them, and I was deeply moved by what came into shape. This song was written and composed by me, with Taiki-kun also helping with the lyrics, and Yudai-kun also did a lot of work on the chorus too and it was very exciting that everyone was involved in the song. Because the three performers’ part in the chorus is really good, I replayed the track many times and thought “Aaah, so good~” (laughs)

Taiki: I enjoyed recording.

Hayate: Because it was my first experience recording like that, I did not know what to do (laughs)

Taiki: Up to now I recorded solo parts, or background parts, but in the seven years since I’ve come here, I have never harmonized my voice into a five member part before. I can’t help but think it will be impressive.

Toru: It was a nice experience. As Yudai has also said before,  when we heard the “group” voice, it was moving. For Da -iCE’s voice in the future, I think it would be good if we could something like this again so when you listen you think "Oh, it’s Da-iCE’ s singing voice”

Sota: Definitely! I want to do it!

Taiki: I think that it be good for all of us to improve our vocal quality.

Sota: If we can do a lot of things on the next tour, wouldn’t it be fun to try singing a single medley with all five people?

Taiki: Oh, that’s interesting.

Sota: Since it is still under development, I hope that this type of song will also make it to a live performance and show that we can do better to earn the audience’s cheers and support.

Tonikaku High Tension

Yudai: Speaking of high tension, I want to go fishing!

Taiki: Again, you! (Laughs)

Toru: It can’t be helped. This is how he gets his high tension. He immediately gets excited (laughs)

Yudai: I get excited about the big things, of course (laughs)

Toru: But, there are surprisingly small things that get you excited too, right?

Yudai: That’s not it (laugh). But it’s always regrettable when I get over-excited at the drop of the hat, since the old man who lives next door will be like “You’re being bothersome~” and I’ll have to go “Yes ~” (laughs)

Toru: Don’t be like that (laugh)

Taiki: When I’m going to the gym, it lifts my spirits. Running while listening to LDH’s songs is good for keeping upbeat. When I listen to J Soul Brothers and Generations, my motivation goes up steadily and becomes just as hyper as Yudai (laughs).

Sota: Recently, during an after-show talk with MATSU-san, he sang “Choo Choo TRAIN” for me and Toru-kun, and our spirits literally soared.

Toru: Definitely.

Taiki: That would be an incredible thing.

Yudai: Super nice ~

Sota: Moreover, my father saw it, and since my father loved “Choo Choo Train” since long ago, I got to be a good son for introducing him to MATSU-san.

Toru: MATSU-san also talked a bit about his life in the group. Before we formed as Da-iCE, he was a superstar to us and I went to his lives, so it was an unbelievable feeling to work with him professionally.

Hayate: I was able to see the performance of Chiruran, and I can’t think of anything more motivating or exciting than that

Toru: I’m glad you think so, Hayate, thank you.

Tonikaku MV

Taiki: This time I had a strong sense of getting down to work. The staff is usually looking for something comprehensive to show what we’ve been doing up to now, and they come up with MVs which showcase us five, but this time we wanted to showcase a world view instead. There is our dance and performance as usual, but I think that it’s more interesting this time. There are feelings we’ve never shown before.

Sota: As a single, its personality comes out right from the beginning.

Yudai: In terms of using props and tools, everyone painted mischievously on the wall, and everyone’s face and clothes got messed up. It was interesting because we couldn’t just do the paint over again. It would be odd if in one shot, someone’s shoes had changed paint styles from the shot before, etc. We put a lot of effort into it, and I think the filming passed by faster than usual.

Hayate: It’s the first time we had to wash our bodies in the middle of MV shooting to clean up the paint. Thanks to that, it was a unique feeling that doesn’t usually come with working (laughs)

Taiki: I understand. I felt that too (laughs)

Yudai: When I got into the shower and returned to the dressing room, I felt like I was going home from the hot spring (laughs)

Sota: My body was getting cold. It felt nice to finish it off with a hot shower (laughs)

Hayate: It was really comforting, that feeling (laughs)

Taiki: It was a difficult to pair dancing with other issues for me this time. But, we worked towards what we wanted to do, and we all made a great emotional delivery for this song.

Toru: Up to now, dancing was our primary focus, but this time I think a lot of other things went into it, so it was very fresh and interesting.

Tonikaku HEY

Sota: To tell the truth, it’s a song where just the thought of hearing everyone chanting “Tonikaku HEY!” live is exciting. Working together with Yudai-kun on this song on its own raises my tension, and also I get to change my singing style musically in this song. I am doing a lot of challenging things, so I think that it’s enjoyable if you listen to on a technical level, too. Of course, I think that it is such a song that even just listening to the BGM will make you feel good.

Taiki: I think there is a lot of room for freedom in the dance, and it’s not as choreographed like other songs have been, and there is a margin for freestyling and ad-libs to bring out the atmosphere, so it’s a rather rare style for one of our singles. The choreo of “Tonikaku HEY” is easy to manage, so there is a good balance which makes us able to be creative in other places.

Sota: Before this, we released an album called “NEXT PHASE”, and this song is the sequel to that, since we wanted to have songs which expressed something like “This is our NEXT PHASE”. This is the song we arrived on to best fit that. It is a song that can also make you feel like you can return to your original intentions and goals despite being a new person who has experienced changes. Since I have been doing my best to compose songs with themes that tie into our indies era, I want to tell fans from our indies days “I hope the songs I write remind you of that Da-iCE too” I wonder if the fans from after the major debut can also appreciate this new side. I hope it’s a song that can take our fans along to the next stage along with us.

Yudai: The title “Tonikaku HEY!” is also great.

Hayate: The title is like a chant at a rally.

Taiki: Usually our songs have English titles which may be hard for people to remember, but I think this one is easy to remember.

Toru: Everyone liked this.

Taiki: I do not want to change this title for anything. The staff presented various things such as “It’s possible to change (kaeru no mo ari ka na)” though. We insisted “Tonikaku HEY!” is “Tonikaku HEY!” Even though they said “People may laugh at you for a title like that in the beginning,” if you listen to the song and see the choreography and come and visit us live,  would you really be able to laugh? I think if you’re able to see it like that, you can’t help but understand it.

Yudai: If you listen to the title and consider the thought of going to rallies, you get used to it and it makes sense. We usually listen to the staff, but not this time. I absolutely did not want to change “Tonikaku HEY!” Staff kept asking what we were doing, if it’s okay to try and sound “cool" or “slang-y.” But if you listen to the song, wouldn’t you say it’s worth the risk?

Sota: Come to Tonikaku Live and scream with "Tonikaku HEY” with us. It will be absolutely fun!

[madeofpurestarlight]

If This Was A Movie, IV

/ While Effie Trinket is Hollywood's darling and all her dreams seem to be finally coming true, Haymitch Abernathy is drinking himself into an early grave and shuts the world out completely. However, Plutarch Heavensbee decides it's time for his comeback. The two main stars can't stand each other and tension builds up soon, but as they dive in deep into this project, somewhere between shooting love scenes, fighting on-set, fighting off-set, opening up hesitantly and helping their younger colleagues deal with everything this world brings, they grow closer and closer, until one day they realize they're not pretending anymore. | Hayffie Actors AU /

"WATER UNDER THE BRIDGE”

i.

April, Venice

"Careful with the blush!"

The brush slithered down Effie's cheek, leaving a coral red streak all the way down from her cheekbone to her jaw. She looked up to meet Venia's eyes.

"I'll do it."

"I'm used to doing my own make-up," Effie told her, but she was already taking the brush from her shaky fingers and gently pressing a cotton tampon soaked in softly smelling miceral water to the affected area. "Seriously, there's no need-"

"Miss Trinket, this is my job," the other woman cut her off ruthlessly and turned her on the swivel make-up chair to take a proper look on her creation. "It's not bad."

"I'd say so," Effie gave her a nasty glance. However, she was glad she could finally put her hand down. It was trembling so badly that when she tried to pour herself some coffee this morning, she splashed it around a little. It took all of her will to try to blame it on having low sugar or low blood pressure or whatever. It was jet-lag and the exhaustion from the travelling, the night of crappy sleep that even the sleeping pills she was told to absolutely not mix with the dampening drugs she had instead of breakfast could not save. "I don't like it when somebody tells me what to do with myself."

Venia, a head taller than Effie and so thin that she would pass for a if it came down to it, with platinum blonde hair straightened and backcombed into every possible direction, had the clearest brown eyes Effie had ever seen, like diluted hot chocolate, that were wide and had the peculiar ability of burning into your skin and bones and brain. They weren't knowing or understanding, just really sharp and Effie felt like her own pale blue ones, bloodshot with dark circles beneath, couldn't battle them. She gave up and leant back against the make-up chair's headrest.

"I remember what we did on the rehearsals, so I just thought-"

"That you'd do my job instead?" Venia grabbed her chin to move her head from side to side and scanned her face again. "The blush is too much and it needs some counturing."

Effie closed her eyes and tried to relax. "Just do it."

The room smelled like powder, a mix of perfumes and styling hairsprays. It was the classical smell of movie sets, the smell of what she had been calling home for so many years by now, the smell that she loved more out of sentiment than present. Since the late 90's, when she had started her journey first as a model back home in Colorado, later as a comparsist on Broadway who eventually got all the leading roles, and finally, the America's ultimate new sweetheart, a lot of things have changed. Her love for this world was not one of them, it just kind of kept going away and coming back depending on whether it was a bad or a good day.

Today was a bad day.

A lot of travelling was simply a part of this lifestyle, but the older Effie got, the more tiring it was. She has spent half of the night wide awake, staring into the ceiling, battling the urge to have just one more sleeping pill, and despite the fact that they were pretty strong, the other half of her night she spent locked between dreaming and being awake, but there could be no talking about proper sleep, something she hasn't had in months. And then there was, of course, the plane incident with Haymitch.

She felt bad about it, she wanted to apologize, she knew that she was being too curious and it has definitely taught her to be more careful next time, however, despite his right to have some secrets, she didn't like it. She didn't like that she didn't know who she was really dealing with.

An aging alcoholic who, yes, was, once upon a time, a huge star, one of the best of the best, but that had been years ago, when he was someone else and the world was different as well. Something has happened between him and Plutarch and she wouldn't have cared so much if she knew that Plutarch was wrong when he called Haymitch a wild card. That's what he was - someone nobody could control or predict. That was, of course, all nice and praiseworthy, but in her eyes, it had taken away something very important to her - trust.

Maybe if she knew for sure that he was in it for one hundred percent, she wouldn't feel this need to go and pry for something. Plutarch told her to leave it be, but the hesitation in his face when he reassured her that Haymitch definitely could be trusted was something that had only fed her fears more. And even though there generally weren't many things her and Coin could agree on, this mistrust was something they had in common. It was simply utterly insane to build an entire movie around someone who can be professional and reliable one day and show up wasted the other - in the better scenario, in the worst, he might completely drop out. She was so excited about the idea of working with him that she helped to drag him back into all of this and didn't take into consideration that her fantasies might come to grief.

And, apparently, he has already put Plutarch through a lot before.

However, truth be told, if she had hit him where he was weak, then she felt bad about it, end of story. She wanted to apologize. They needed to work out, to be a team - that couldn't happen if she kept upsetting him and if he kept pushing her away like this. As Plutarch has put it, nobody said that they needed to be exactly friends - they just mustn't be straight up hostile. Warming Haymitch Abernathy up wasn't supposed to be her task, but she had taken upon it anyway.

Now she just needed to complete it.

The door creaked and when she looked in the mirror, she saw the designer duo, Cinna and Portia, the most talented man who followed the trends only sporadically and his outfit never lacked a personal touch - this time, it was a golden eyeliner -, and a tall woman with black hair pulled back into a messy bun that she managed to look great in, and gave off the laid-back vibes of a fine arts student with her denim shorts with suspenders and oversized hoodie which pockets that were usually full of pieces of threads or material samples. "I see someone's got hands full."

"Miss Trinket decided I wasn't needed here," Venia said dryly when she patted the countur into Effie's skin, blending it into the rest of the make-up, a tone darker than she usually needed, and a tone lighter than Katniss usually wore - meeting compromises was part of the fun because her and Katniss shared some features, but were totally different types. "But I think I saved it."

"Come on, Miss Trinket," Cinna came over to press a chaste kiss into her hair, "let the people here do their jobs."

Effie rolled her eyes, but the smile crept up on her lips anyway. It was nice to finally be around familiar faces. Friendly faces. "How long have you been here?"

"Two days," Portia said and pulled out a piece of metallic godlen pattern from her pocket. "Look. This is the material for your dress for the ball scene. I know that we originally talked about silver, but I mailed this to Plutarch and he said that him, Cressida and the props guys have decided to change the color spectrum in that sequence. But it's actually a good thing, this one's warmer. It's going to suit you better with that dark hair."

Effie reached for the sample and her fingers touched the brocade that felt rough under her skin and felt rough wearing it as well, but looked beautiful even in the fluorescent light of the make-up trailer. She remembered the dress well, it was truly a beautiful one, it was tight in all the right places and had a long train. Suddenly, a tremor hit her hand and she whisked it back, blush rising up her chest to her neck and cheeks. "Yes, I think golden is better."

"As we know Plutarch, he's going to change it seven times before he decides it's going to be silver." Cinna frowned at her. "Are you okay?"

"Jet-lagged," she replied curtly and took a sip of water from the bottle she had beneath the vanity. "I just need a few days."

"Okay." Cinna let it settle for a few seconds before changing the topic. "We just finished Haymitch."

Effie couldn't help the curiosity that started lightly bubbling inside her stomach. "How did it go?"

"Not that bad. It all happened so fast that we didn't have much time to make Fortunately, some of Seneca's fit him," he replied, not with relief, but with slight discomfort. Bringing Seneca's name up was still a thorny issue not only around Effie - everyone here knew him, and though not everybody liked him, at least they all respected him. They didn't ask quesitons and they didn't pry for answers - they didn't feel any need to bathe in the tragedy his death was.

"He doesn't like it when people take pictures of him, though," Portia added in amusement and reached into her pocket again. She pulled out a small polaroid photo of Haymitch sitting in the chair of one of the make-up trailers with hair unusually clean and tamed, wearing a white shirt and brand new jeans, stylized into a retro look - he looked great, actually, except for the deep frown that was plastered all over his face and made him appear even grumpier than usual. Effie couldn't help the smile that cracked her mouth.

"No, he doesn't," she confirmed and gave the picture back. "He cleans up nice, though."

Portia nodded and rubbed her nose like she always did when she was thinking of something she didn't want to say out lout. "Yeah, he does."

"It's done," Venia announced and took a step back to judge the result. "I'd say it's the best I can do right now."

"It looks awesome, Venia," Portia reassured her and tapped on Effie's shoulder. "Let's get you dressed."

ii.

The early morning sunshine caressed his cheeks and eyes through his lowered lashes. Air was salty with the hazy vision of early a.m. by the sea. Sky was clear on the horizon and the clouds above his head looked like pieces of tattered fluffy cotton. Everything from the white lines airplanes left behind them on the blue arch over the town to the incerdibly soft breeze that smelled like flowers and coffee was promising a beautiful day.

Too bad that Haymitch wasn't one to adapt his moods to his surroundings.

So, despite Venice being undoubtly a lovely place, and a calm one as well, sitting in a folding chair in the morning heat, with a cheap paper cup of automat coffee, brushes moving over his face, hands adjusting his hair and clothes, that simply wasn't for him anymore. Someone might say that it's like riding a bike - you never really forget it. You just get on the damn bike and do your thing. Well, he was still trying to figure out how to keep balance on this bike that was threatening to fall over to one side any second, no helmet, no protectors, no training wheels or brakes, nothing but a really rapid downhill on the horizon.

If anything, though, having a chair with his name on the back of it wasn't that bad. As Chaff said - let's find a silver lining.

So, that chair was one silver lining. Another one was the fact that when the costume couple, the guy with golden eyeliner and the woman who kept jabbing him with a needle when she was adjusting the costumes, left him alone in the make-up trailer, he poured the standby whiskey into the coffee. Yes, he knew that he should save it, but there was absolutely no way he was going to make it through the first day on dry.

And another silver lining was definitely that he hasn't seen anyone from the cast yet. And that, truth be told, was the best gift God could have given to him that morning.

And exactly that was taken away from him when he looked up from the screenplay to see her walk towards him. He wouldn't have guessed that it was her - he could only tell so by her body language, by the way she carried herself. Her hair was suddenly dark and shoulder-lenght, just a little shorter than they were - a wig, probably -, her clothes were matching his, 50's and in light and creamy colors. She looked good in them. He felt horrible. They were tailor-made for Seneca Crane and it was almost morbid to wear them. A few adjustments and no one would have guessed that they weren't for him, but his morals just weren't pleased with this.

Then again, his morals got him into this scorcher, into these damn clothes, right in front of Effie Trinket who tried to toss her hair over her shoulder but failed because it was too short and decided to hide it by frowning at him as if he was the cause of everything bad in the world. As if she had any right to be fed up with him. He did exactly what she asked from him; he made a promise that he was going to keep. He was just going to do it on his own terms – and if she had a problem with that, then she could kiss his ass.

She pouted and raised one eyebrow, also suddenly a lot darker. He had to admit that she looked great with dark hair; bolder, more mysterious, and a little bit younger, but that was probably thanks to the make-up. They did wonders with him as well. She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture at the two make-up assistants that were powdering his nose and crumbling the powder into his coffee and when they were gone, she placed her hands on her hips and waited.

"Has no one ever told you that if you keep treating people this way, you're gonna get decked one day?"

"This is not a trial for your legal capacity," she informed him sharply. "I am sorry if I touched a sensitive place yesterday, but we need to cooperate, and that won't do if-"

"If you keep on being so bitchy," he cut her off. In a nonchalant gesture, he brought the coffee to his lips. "I'm here on time, sober, and ready to ignore you unless it's totally necessary to spend time with you, which would save us a lot of problems. Keep your distance, sweetheart."

Effie was quite quick and that surprised him; she wrapped her fingers around his wrist and pulled it to her face, then smelled the liquid in the hot white paper cup and her expression changed from shocked to angry to inappropriately satisfied. She let go of him and folded her arms over her chest. "So sober, you're saying?"

"It's just whiskey," he muttered and scowled at her. "Just one cup."

"It's eight in the morning, but I guess it's never too early for an alcoholic." She jerked her head. "Spill it out."

"No."

"I said spill it out," she growled, voice low, eyes narrowed. Her lower lip trembled with suppressed rage. "Spill it out or I will tell Plutarch."

Haymitch couldn't help but snore at that cheap threat. "How old are you, eight? What can he do anyway? Kick me out?" He drank the rest of the coffee in one gulp. "As if he can afford that. Pick your battles, sweetheart."

"You- you-"

"Go ahead, say it," he teased her and got off the chair. When he was moving past her, he chose to annoy her a bit further, and gently grabbed her chin which prompted her to bat his hand away violently.

She shook her head and her neck was covered in red stains. "You are a brute, an absolute brute!"

"Sure."

"Here are my stars!" They both looked over in the direction of the sound. Plutarch was approaching them with a broad smile, waving the screenplay excitedly, with coffee – in a proper mug, not a cheap paper cup – in one hand. A few steps behind him, with arms full of clipboards and papers, was a woman with black hair pinned up on top of her head, wearing a silky white costume that must have been uncomfortable in this heat, and dark purple lipstick in heavy contrast with her pale skin. "Effie, Haymitch," he addressed them, "this," he gestured towards the woman, "is Fulvia Cardew, my right hand. If you ever need anything and can't get me, Fulvia is here to handle it."

They shook hands briefly and exchanged nice to meet yous and then Fulvia looked at her watch, then at a timetable in one of her clipboards, and snapped her fingers. "The shooting starts in five minutes. The first take is, as you know, the gondola scene, page seventeen. Get in your places!"

It wasn't all new for Haymitch at all, but still – getting back to all of this felt strange. The shooting plan wasn't chronological and the very first scene they were going to shoot was actually placed somewhere half-way into the movie – very soon after Jack, Haymitch's character, and Effie's Gianna reunited. They were having a talk on a gondola and they were supposed to kiss. When they did the cold reading in New York two weeks ago, they totally skipped that part and he had forgotten about it until he read the script again this morning.

Memorizing the script in general was more difficult for him than he had expected. He had troubles with memory due to the years of alcohol abuse and after the whiskey in the coffee, he wasn't very confident – but he had to get through that.

He owed it to Plutarch, and that was the only thing that might keep him going in the next few months. The idea of an old debt was too embarrassing, too painful, it was humiliating. He had to work through that.

Haymitch and Effie quickly went over their parts, got some directions from Plutarch and got into the boat. They found themselves sitting next to each other, with no one but the gondola guy and Pollux, one of the three camera operators, (the other being Castor and the main one being Cressida, a young and rather innovative woman who had a lot of successful movies in her account despite her age), as company.

"Don't you dare to spoil this," Effie hissed in a whisper, but kept smiling for the camera, because she knew Plutarch was watching. Haymitch saw that as a metaphor to her Hollywood lifestyle and once again wondered why people kept acting so surprised when he told them that he wasn't interested in this anymore.

"Don't you worry, doll," he replied and felt this smug satisfaction at her narrowed eyes and annoyed expression.

"We're starting," Plutarch announced from the shore and looked into the screen that was showing him what Pollux was shooting. "This looks brilliant. You two look awesome on this. So, get ready, everyone! Camera… lights… seriously, Wan, lights, am I right, Cressida?... and… action!"

Haymitch watched Effie's face go full-mode professional – her facial expression had zero to do with the mischievous woman that was sitting next to him just seconds ago, and he would have no troubles believing her the role of a war widow who had just found her husband again – her eyes were emotional but hard at the same time, sparkling with tears she just came up with at the spot, her lips were white from being pursed together so tightly, but trembled from the feelings that have apparently been locked inside for a time too long for a human to take; he was impressed by it, though his own performance couldn't be that bad, either.

When he stopped acting, he promised to himself that he'd just be honest until the end of his life, that he wouldn't pretend again, that's how much he resented acting, but he had never fully delivered on his promise. He kept pretending in front of everyone; in front of all the people who kept offering him help or at least compassion, in front of the women he took to bed, in front of the few friends he had left, in front of himself, just so he wouldn't have to look the truth into its eyes.

He was far too well-trained at this.

"Stop," Plutarch's discordant voice cut the scene before they could even deliver a single line, "Effie, maybe move on the opposite seat. You look good next to each other but it will have better effect if you can look just directly eye-to-eye – like you've got nowhere else to look."

"Fine," she sighed and carefully stood up. Haymitch reached out to her to help her if she needed to hold onto him, but he slightly pushed her instead.

It happened all too fast - she lost her balance, her face went from surprised to shocked, changed color from red to plain pale... and then she let out a small cry of helplesness before she fell off the gondola, staright into the water, the only trace of her presence being the big splash of the dirty channel water all over all the passengers of the boat.

What followed was mostly automatic - he cursed, then shrugged the jacket off his shoulders, pushed Pollux aside and jumped into the water right after her.

She was splashing the water around as she screamed and flapped her arms all around frantically. He didn't know if she could swim, but she was apparently in shock, and yeah, leaving her be would have saved him a lot of trouble, but he moved towards her nevertheless, getting a solid shower in his face from her panicked kicking and waving.

"You okay?" he asked roughly when he got close enough.

"You- you- idiot-" she was gasping for air, but ignored his attempts at getting a solid grasp upon her.

"You'll have time for that later," he grunted and wrapped one arm around her waist and gripped her tightly, fisting her blouse and pushing her properly above the surface, then he looked around. The boat was closer but he wasn't going to risk getting the cameraman wet as well.

"Are you two alright?" Plutarch's worried voice resonated in the narrow channel between the old houses.

"We're fine," Haymitch shouted back and dragged Effie towards the safety of the concrete pavement.

She wasn't making this an easy task, though, pushing him away and wriggling. "Let go!" she shrieked and repeatedly hit him, causing him to lose hold on her more than once.

"Can it!" he growled and kept swimming with her to the shore. Finally, he touched the stable ground and grabbed her hips to push her up - several people of the crew and extras were already there to help him get her out of the cold, dirty water. She kept whimpering and cursing him with words he couldn't imagine her being capable of ever letting out - and then she was finally safe.

They helped Haymitch up as well, already putting a blanket over his shoulders and asking if he was fine, but his focus was on her - and she was already marching away, drenched to the bone, hands curled into fists, shaking with dead rage, water dripping from her clothes that were adhering to her limply.

One thing was for sure - if there was something waiting for him that day, it certainly wasn't gratitude.

iii.

"This has gone way too far!"

Plutarch winced at her high-pitched shout and raised his hands in a peaceful gesture, but she waved it off violently and kept pacing back and fort in the make-up trailer, leaving drips of water on the pale lino floor. The anger that has posessed her has succesfully erased all good reason.

"Calm down for a second," Haymitch cut in sharply from his defeated position by the doorftame, but she accepted zero interruptions.

"Don't you dare to speak to me!" she snapped and pointed at him like a child accusing someone of stealing their crayon. "Plutarch," she looked over to the director angrily, "he pushed me into the water! You saw it!"

"No, I'm sorry, Effie," Plutarch shook his head and shot Haymitch an unhappy look. "I didn't see that. From what I saw, it was merely an unfortunate accident. That is it."

"That is it?" Effie couldnmt believe her ears. "That is so not it! He is going to recieve a punshiment-"

Haymitch's chuckles interrupted her. "Punishment? Like what, standing in the corner?" He shook his head at her slightingly and that only fueled her fury, but he couldn't help himself – he couldn't listen to this anymore. "You're ridiculous, sweetheart."

"Don't call me sweetheart!" she screamed. "I am insisting on him facing the consequences!"

"Effie, calm down," Plutarch's tune grew stern, the ever-present wrinkle on his forehead from years of constant worry appearing even deeper, as always when he got upset. "It was an accident, it wasn't Haymitch's fault, but if you'd feel better if he apologized-"

"I ain't apologizing," the other man spat and Effie turned to him with what she believed was her best dead stare that she was capable of in this state of such passionate anger.

"What did you say?"

"That I'm not apologizing," he repeated a little louder and crossed his arms on his broad chest. "It's not my problem that you can't stand on your own and it's sure as hell not my fault. I fucking helped you. Fuck off."

Plutarch clicked his tongue in disapproval and shot Haymitch a warning look. "That's not necessary."

"Fire him," Effie screeched, "just fire him! He's impossible, incapable-"

"Incapable?" He shouted back, his neck slowly blending into reddish tones, and the wrinkles on his forehead became more prominent, too. "Careful with that mouth of yours, okay? I never asked for this, you dragged me here-"

"I didn't know that you'd be such a... such a..."

"Go ahead, say it, sweetheart."

"Don't call me sweetheart!"

"Enough!" Plutarch's forceful voice resonated through the limited space and put an effective stop to the wet duo's tantrum. "Enough. Both of you are going to calm down and be rational and mature. Haymitch, apologize-"

"I won't apologize," he disagreed resolutely and looked at Effie with poorly-hidden disgust. "Certainly not to you."

So she decided to resort to live ammunition. "He drank," she announced, flashing Haymitch a cold smile. "This morning."

"You fucking bitch," Haymitch growled, his skin looked like it was on fire. His hands were curled into fists - she had seriously angered him and she couldn't care less.

"What?" Plutarch turned to him, partly in exhaustion, partly in conrcern. He frowned. "Haymitch, is that true?"

"Does it matter?" he shouted and roughly shoved away the hand Plutarch was trying to put on his shoulder. "You know what? Fuck you both." He pushed his friend aside and tried to walk out, but stepped back in surprise when a tall pair entered the trailer at the same time - they were both fairly young, in their mid-twenties, she had short dark hair and a black leather jacket tied around her waist; his hair were reddish, voluminous, and his eyes were green like the sea outside. Everyone paused for a second.

"I see it's getting wild here," the woman remarked. Johanna Mason. Effie had met her once, as well as the man, Finnick Odair. Her brown eyes shone in mockery when she noticed Effie and Haymitch's state, but didn't ask anything just yet.

"Johanna," Plutarch sighed, as if the two have come at the exact wrong moment, but politely outstreched his hand to welcome either of them anyway. "What are you doing here already?"

"We were told we's find you here," she sneered. "I didn't expect much gratitude, anyway. One goes half through the world just to see our little drama queen start yet another scene – if I got the memo right."

Effie straightened her back and threw her hair over her shoulder, kind of missing the effect since it was still wet. The soaked wig was thrown over the chair, her make-up was running down her face and she was red with anger and shaking with cold. That wasn't a state she was willing to argue wih Johanna Mason in, because that woman had always had a problem with her and truth be told, Effie wasn't exactly eager to become her friend, either. "And you are as charming as always."

"At least I don't look like a drowned cat," the younger woman deadpaned and turned to Haymitch who was still torn between leaving like he longed to do, or staying as his curiosity was urging him to. "Abernathy. That's impossible."

"Apparently not." He gifted Effie with a sharp glance. Everything was suggesting that he was going to get along with Johanna. If nothing else, they both hated her, and that was a solid topic to bring two people together.

Finnick shook Haymitch's hand briefly, genuine respect showing in his young, otherwise playful eyes. "Nice to meet you."

The legend that Effie was just two steps away from killing a mere minute ago just grunted something in response.

"Why are you so wet, by the way?" Johanna chuckled and pulled a pack of crisps out of her pocket and sat up on the vanity.

"Let's skip that," Plutarch proposed. "How was your flight?"

"Long and boring," Finnick said and took off his expensive denim jacket and handed it to Effie. "Here, so the lady doesn't catch a cold. Are you doing fine?"

"Well I have been better," she said undertone and let him place the jacket over her shoulders. "Thank you, Finnick."

Haymitch seemed to be finally running out of patience. "Can we just quit this circus already?"

"We're not done yet," Effie warned him while Plutarch shrugged, and before he had any chance to slip out of the door, she was already outside. She was almost sure she heard Johanna mutter something under her breath - and she didn't care, already too humiliated, too angry, and oh, so damn cold.

[agraphicdesignernamedjessie-blog]

Evaluation

The first puppet making workshop took place on day one and was led by 2017 BCU graduates from the collaborative illustration group, ‘We agree on Eggs’. This workshop instructed each of the newly formed groups to create one puppet as a team. This puppet did not have to have any thematic significance  as the main aim of the task was to create a functioning puppet collaboratively. I believed this would be important for our group to decide on a theme straight away and make a puppet prop that we could utilize for our final performance. I thought this because Jo had mentioned in a previous presentation that our narrative module was fast paced, therefore required immediate creative action. We productively brainstormed many ideas holding the 1968 focus and we all seemed to agree on the idea of portraying a summarised narrative of the life story of Martin Luther King Jr, the movement he created and the legacy that he left behind.

 To kick of the group research and get moving with the project, we each had a look into different approaches to puppetry. Shadow puppetry seemed to be the one approach that we all agreed on and saw the most potential in.

For me, the simplistic aesthetic of the shadowed figures was significant for our groups focus in particular. We wanted to highlight a visual tension between Black and white significance that would bestow a solemn and serious message. This is why the age old characterised approach to puppetry such as stuffing/painting may have looked inappropriate. We wanted the silhouettes of our puppets to be simple enough not to be overly decorative, but detailed enough for the audience to know and understand what each image would represent. It was all about getting the right balance.

 We moved on from this by allocating and delegating our roles. We began to find out each other’s strengths and also what we each enjoyed doing. I believed it was very important for everyone to have a role that they felt confident in, as the more you enjoy doing a task the more confident your craftsmanship becomes - therefore the more accurately the work develops.

 Myself, Mikayla and Jada made all of the handmade puppets individually. I did all of the detailed illustrations for characters as illustrating is my strong point, also something I enjoy doing. Jada made the Martin Luther puppets in order to keep the individual stylized effect and Mikayla cut out all of the large scale handmade puppets.

I wanted to start the story boarding process quickly, partly to get a head start and partly because this is the way that I most effectively go about creative projects. If I have an image to work with or a picture in my head, it’s best for me to get it down on paper in order to re-affirm the strength of my original ideas. It also helps me to communicate to the other team members. Additionally,I  found that when you are trying to explain a creative concept to other creative people it is important to describe an idea with as many visuals as possible.

 Deciding on a Narrative

 We put our heads together and brain stormed by researching  some of the most significant events revolving around Martin Luther King Jr’s movement and life story. We initially picked far too many events to re-tell, so with some difficulty managed, to reduce them. The one thing that we all agreed on, is that we wanted the events that we picked to somehow intertwine and flow like a narrative.

I wanted to create a professional level story board, but knew that carrying out this process for every single frame would take up too much time. Instead I decided to pick a key scene, the ‘I had a dream scene’ and mock up how I wanted it to look.  I did this digitally on the tablet which allowed me to directly transfer it onto my blog. I found that this illustrative way of working was useful, so continued to draw on the tablet throughout the rest of the process. Once we had each scene sorted, we knew who would create what.

 Thinking about how we would perform

On the Tuesday of the second week, Jo asked each of the groups about what approach of puppetry they planned to take forward. This short talk became very significant to the progression of our project. We found out that the majority of the groups planned to do shadow puppetry.

This meant that we had to have an idea that would make our show different from the others. At the start of the module, tutors said that we shouldn’t limit our aspirations for the project and encouraged us to ‘Think Big’.

I had an idea to create an enlarged version of our original theatre. I thought that the scale alone would be very impressive, but alongside that we could get members of the audience to partake and get active with the props that we would make and provide for them.

We have picked two key scenes from our final performance and plan to make ‘human size props’. We plan to set up a tripod at the front of our enlarged theatre so that any member of the audience can film themselves, or their friends experimenting with our props. The concept of the large theatre challenges the audience to ‘physically’ and ‘metaphorically’ take a stand and get involved in the movement that we are exposing them to.

 Practitioner research

 During this process, I came across the Altered Scale Theatre Company, a progressive puppetry and theatre company founded By Artistic Director and performer Austin Mitchel Hewitt in March 2014. I know Austin Mitchell through mutual friends and contacted him and informed of our brief. Austin has worked on many projects around the city of Liverpool, hand crafting puppets and performing with them for a number of collaborative shows. I corresponded through email with Austin a couple of times, asking him questions about how to progress with our project, asking about the work he has done and just enquiring about general tips and tricks of the trade.

Austin proved to be very helpful and some of the work that he sent me further progressed some of our original ideas.

On  my first email to Austin I expressed my concern about background and how I  would go about padding out the screen. This was during the making stage of  our puppets and we hadn’t actually had time to experiment in the shell with  all of our puppets and props. All we had done in terms of experimenting with  the shadow theatre, was using the frame that Lee had set up in our work  space. Austin advised me that “SIMPLICTY is the key to puppetry… if  you have too many visuals all at once… the audience finds it difficult to  follow…"

Once  my group had practiced and experimented with our own theatre space and used  all of our puppets and props in conjunction with one another, I completely  understood what Austin was advising. 

We really wanted to try and portray the  significance of the message and story of Martin Luther King’s movement and if  we were to over complicate this with overly elaborate puppets and props, this specific significance would be lost. 

 I think at first, we thought that shadow puppetry would prove to be simpler than it actually is. We have also found that it takes a lot of time to make something so small. We have decided to incorporate human shadow puppetry for some of the scenes to add a different medium and to reduce the number of puppets that we have to make.

At times, we thought we had created a background prop that would work,  but we realised that it had blocked out some of the major detail in Kings body. When Kate and Sam came back we discussed the possibility of using the laser cutter and vectors to create some puppets that had proved to be difficult with paper. We did eventually do this and it did work effectively.

The filming process

On Tuesday 27th of Februarys from 5-9 we had booked the shell, to perform and film our smaller scale shadow puppetry that we are going project onto our cinema screen. We managed to work really well together and naturally found the roles that best suited ourselves. Kate took charge filming, Mikayla, Jada, Sam and I performed with the puppets.

Because we had planned out how we wanted each scene to flow, it was actually a really fun experience. During the process, we found that some angles worked better than others and some original ideas had to be scrapped, but anticipated that.

We were very glad that our filming did not include natural sound, as an essential part of us effectively working together was down to the fact that we could speak to each other from different sides of the theatre and instruct one another on what was working well/what wasn’t. 

Despite the fact that we had a really long day and were all tired, I actually really enjoyed the filming process. I learnt skills that I otherwise wouldn’t have known doing my graphics course.

  The sound track process

 On the Thursday after filming me and Kate stayed back to begin the editing process. We decided from the beginning that Kate would edit the video footage after it had been filmed and once she had done so, I would refine the sound track/sound effects that I had put together on Logic Pro.

For a long time the career path that I wanted to pursue was music, in particular film score writing. I have studied music for a number of years and have learnt how to compose music digitally. So, from the start of this process I put myself forward to do this task. The thing that was so important about our sound track, was that we had no script, therefore wanted the music to relay a narrative. I didn’t want to just put a song together, I wanted to convey a message, so I decided to combine facts with music.

I found a number of significant news reports from the scenes that we re-enacted through puppetry and combined them with music that I considered appropriate. Before starting on the sound track,  I instantly knew the tone and mood that I wanted to create and how I would go about writing it. However, I knew I needed the footage next to me when refining timings. 

One of the most difficult things I came across when creating the sound track, was getting the timings for sound effects right. For example, the scene in which Martin Luther is assassinated, Sam stands behind the screen and shoots our gun puppet that we made on the first day. It was really hard to time this action with the sound effect of a gunshot simultaneously.