#having their own costume party 😏

[cutekoala1001]

♪ Party time!! ♪

[n0t-y0ur-piece-0f-cake]

Hiiiiii how are you? I wanted to ask if you could do a super spicey one shot where a male yautja ends up stalking a group of girls and having his way with them in various ways, one by one but then when he finally gets to the reader he ends favoring the reader more than the other girls and ends up breeding reader until the next morning and after that he decided she was gonna be his mate 😏

A night to remember

Summary: girls night out went absolutely wrong.

Fem reader x male yautja

Warnings: NSFW, omfg where do I start, uhhh, rape/noncon, breeding, alien in a rut, drugging, violence, death, implied forced pregnancy,,,

MDNI MINORS DO NOT INTERACT

For everyone else, read at own risk.

Not proof read, English isn't my first language and this was written at 1 am.

Authors note: my first reaction when I read that request was literally 🤨🫢🫣😈 I never thought I could be capable of writing this, but it helped me through my writers block, thx <3

Preparations were always hard. But the worse was long done. Now it was only make up that was left. Tonight's Friday night. The Friday night. Where me, Michelle and Tina finally got ready for our girls night out. We planned that date for so long - Prepared for so long. The parties theme at our local club was "warrior". So the girls and me obviously had to go all overboard. It didn't matter if we went overdressed or too hard. This was and is going to be some quality time. We had so much fun putting together our costumes. Even tho it was still obvious they were part dresses still.

Tina's get up was leaning more for a samurai. Shoulderpats, chest plate - yet still revealing, and a kimono type dress - also still revealing.

Michelle was more inspired by knights. Her dress was complement nicely by a chain top and some more sliver plates on her arms and legs. As well as a cute half helmet with a gracious yellow feather. Overall not too revealing, but the dress was still short enough to almost pop her butt out.

I on the other hand? I went for something more primal. Like a hunter. A hunter you'd see in a deep forest in the stone ages. I knew all the fur would bite me in the ass at the club, but it was worth it, of course it wasnt all fur. Just a big patch of fur over my shoulder. The rest? A sweet brown dress, showing off my thighs and what was still visible of my collarbone. I even went so far and got myself a necklace with sharp teeth and some Ambers. Not sure if either were real. It was second hand. I put on some last details for my make up. Painting some face markings.

We were now ready to go.

"Wait! Hold up", Tina basically shouted out, as Michelle grabbed her heels. We all looked at Tina. She held up her arms and looked at us with a devious smile.

"We have to get a shot in, just to celebrate"

Michelle shook her head. "Come on, Tina. It's not that pricey at the club."

I looked between the two. Sighing with a smile: "But we've got to celebrate. Now that Tina's moving away."

Tina jumped up, like a kid, begging over and over. "Pleaaaaase - for me? This once, Michelle?"

Michelle was never fond of drinking before hand. Drinking in general even, only on special occasions.

Michelle places her heels back down. Giving up, for Tina's sake. Tina giggled and turned back to the kitchen. Smacking three shot glasses on the table like she's a bartender. A samurai bartender. Michelle and I smirked with Tina. When she pulled put her vodka, our eyes widen. This really was a special occasion. It was her 10 Liter vodka bottle, that she never opened. That shit cost her a fortune.

We watched as Tina opened the bottle, it emitted a cracking sound. Yes. Freshly open. It was untouched. Until now. She carefully shifted the bottle, trying to hit the shot glasses. It already made her look like she was drunk, spilling the vodka left and right. We all giggled. Tina let out a more nervous one. I couldn't watch her struggle any longer. So I held the two glasses up to the bottles head. Making it easier to pour. Michelle took the last glass and also then held it under the head. Now all three were full and each placed in a hand. We looked at each other.

"To Tina", Michelle said, holding up the small glass up and to our middle.

"To Tina." We all said out like a record. Drinking it in one go. Nothing at first. But then a weird taste emerged. I wasn't really used to pure vodka. Michelle, not at all. She coughed. But quickly swallowed her cough as quick as it came. We all chuckled together again.

"I could go for another one... now that it's open...", the bottle owner said, swaying her hip from side to side.

"No." It came out like a choir from us.

"We gotta get there before 8, otherwise, who knows how full it'll be tonight", I said, already going for the small hallway to grab my heels. Tina soon following with Michelle.

The streets were quiet. Some passerbys still on their way to wherever. We had to pass through a small patch of forest. It was lit. Michelle would have driven. If she wouldn't have drunk something. Michelle struggled in her highheels. Almost tripping every meter due to the uneven ground. So me and Tina went to each of her side. Supporting her. We finally reached the club. A big snake already formed upfront.

Tina scoffed. "Great. Are we too late already? It's not even 8 yet."

As we approached I looked at the snake of people. They didn't move at all. As we stood there at the end now too, I noticed that they didn't even open up yet. A quick glance at my phone showed me, that it was just 7:55. "We're not late, we're even too early-"

I was cut off by Michelle pointing out the variety of costumes. Tina joining in. I looked up. Yes. We were definitely not overdressed. We fit right in.

"This one's definitely a cosplayer", Michelle said.

"A good one at that", Tina chuckled. I turned my head. Looking at who they were talking about. A woman, must be around our age. She didn't dress revealing at all. It was a full set of armor. Maybe that was foam. Who knows.

I chuckled out: "Are we underdressed?"

We all laughed at that.

Finally it was time. And exactly on the clock, the security guy finally let the people in. Another one arrived, helping out, due to the long snake. He must have been waiting anyways.

After a good 15 minutes, we were up. Showing our ID, the insides of our small bags, pockets. I was good to go. Michelle too. "That's gonna be a great night", said one of the security guards as he checked Tina's matching bag. Giving it her back, she smiled at him. She was also good to go.

We turned to her. Confused. She caught on to our mimics. "Oh. Just a couple of bucks."

Inside the party hasn't fully started. No one was yet on the dance floor. More like trying to get settled and drunk enough to try and dance. We grabbed a table. Looking over the room. After some talk about Tina's plans for her new apartment she got silent. We were silent. We already told her so many times that we'll miss her. She knows that. I hope she knows that.

"I'll be right back"

She said. Turning away.

"Where are you going?", I asked her. Having to talk louder due to the booming music and her now being a bit further away.

She mouthed something that neither me or Michelle heard. Michelle shrugged. I looked around again.

"Well. Guess I should leave this shithole too, like Tina."

Michelle furrowed her eyebrows at my comment. "No you won't. Who am I gonna ball my eyes out with at the McDonalds in the drive in, after I had another shitty relationship?"

I look at Michelle surprised with a smirk. "So you admit your ex was a douche?" She rolls her eyes. Not saying another word about that topic: "just don't leave. It's already enough that Steelheaded-Tina is moving away."

Speaking of her, she finally returns. With three neon green, toxic, probably so unhealthy cocktails in her hands. She places them down in the middle of the table. A smirk so wide it's almost unsettling. It's so obvious that she really wants this night to be great. We start sipping on them. Talking about God knows what. Eventually we decided to make our way to the dance floor. Tina wasn't quite done with her drink yet. Still half way. Michelle and I already ready to go.

"Guys wait-", Michelle said, "I'll make a break for the bathroom, Tina, you better zip that unholy brewery up so we can dance after."

I look at Michelle, worried. "Want me to tag along?" Michelle shook her head. "Nah, I'm good."

With that she left. A man and a woman approached us, not long after. They started talking to me and Tina. The man seemed especially interested in Tina.

The woman turned to me. Leaning in closer to my ear after I couldn't understand her first try to talk to me.

"Do you have a tampon?" "Oh yeah"

I said. I always had one. Especially at a party. You never know. I open my bag, searching for it, in the corner of my eye, I spotted how Tina and the guy faced the dance floor. The guys hand on the table. I looked back at the now found tampon and gave it to her. She thanked me. Turning away to reach the bathroom. I looked back at Tina and the guy. They now faced each other again. He was obviously flirting, judging by his face and Tina's reactions. I couldn't hear them at all. It was too loud.

Michelle came back. Rolling her eyes at Tina and her new found partner for tonight. She was as amused as me. But deep down we were both still worried. The guy invited Tina to dance. She said yes, as they both went to the dance floor, we quickly stepped on it too, keeping a close eye on Tina.

Everything went fine up until a bit later. We noticed Tina being more tipsy. More unfocused. I gave Michelle a frown, she also caught up to my sightings. As we looked back where Tina and the guy just were, we were surprised in to see it now vacated by another person.

Our dance came out a abrupt end. Quickly glancing around the room. We spotted them. He tried to pull Tina out of the club, to the exit. Through the mass we pushed ourself through. I was first who made it out, pulling Tina to me. She almost crashed down, if it weren't for Michelle coming up in the right moment to support her as well.

The guy looked at us. Obviously distraught by us intervening. "I just wanted to get her some air."

Michelle and I looked at him. "Yeah right, fuck off." I scoffed out loud. Security already noticing the situation.

"Everything okay?"

We turned our heads to the security guard. Explaing what happened. The guard pulled the guy aside. Telling us to still get Tina outside and let her sit with us until he investigated the guy.

Indeed we sat. On a bench. Waiting. Another security guard was nice enough to give us a bottle of water. Which we made Tina drink, even tho she said she doesn't need it. After a while the other guard came back out. With a sigh he tried to tell us in a most neutral way, that he found some knock out drops a hidden pouch of the guys costume. I tried to remember. Yes. When the guy was at our table, Tina wasn't don't with her drink yet. Only before she hit the dance floor she drank. Shit.

The guy tells us to get Tina home. Maybe call a cab. If her state worsens then maybe even a ambulance. He also told us he'll make sure the police knows about that guy, and he won't ever get in again. No matter the outcome of what the police says. He asked for our numbers, in case the police has any further questions in the coming days.

With that, we were let go.

We phoned the cabs. All of them said they couldn't make it in less than an hour. So we decided to walk ourselves. We'd be home faster. We were three people. But only one completely out of it. This was a quiet town, we told ourselves. The woods were lit, so it was okay, we told ourselves. We walked.

As we reached the woods, Michelle couldn't really walk and support Tina at the same time. So after a few meters she decided to take her heels off. We were slower. But steady. Tina was being held steady.

Now that we were slower, I took in the sounds of the night. The sounds of the dark forest. The chirping of the crickets. The owl hooing. And the slight fresh breeze pushing against us. At least my fur covered shoulder wasn't getting cold.

I looked at Michelle and Tina. Tina almost asleep, yet still walking. Michelle was exhausted. Her face a bit pained from the heel-less walking. I faced back at the path. I tried to focus on what was ahead of us. Our surroundings. But... was I getting deaf? I can still clearly hear Michelle and Tina walking. But I didn't hear any cricket. No owl. The wind was still there. I felt as if the air got heavier. The owl started hooing again. Maybe I was just tired, too unfocused.

We kept walking. Half way there. The lights in the woods path, were still lit. I glanced at my watch again, as Michelle also stopped walking, taking a break. 11pm. As I waited for Michelle to gather her strength again, Tina woke up slowly from her half asleep state. Being all giggly and seeming like a high person. I took a deep breath in. Focusing on my surroundings. We have to get her to safety. The crickets and owl were still at it. Then, a crack. Silence. I assumed the animals would start again, but, the owl took flight. Flying over and away from us. I felt the aid get heavy again. I felt nervous.

"Can we keep walking?" I said, almost stuttering. Almost begging Michelle. Tina jumped off and away from our arms. "Let's camp!"

Michelle rolled her eyes. "No Tina, we can camp at your place. Where we should be right now."

Tina wanted to say something, but we were cut off by a net being launched at me and Michelle. We were trapped. Tina chuckled as she looked at us. "Spidermaaaaaaan"

Michelle was the first one to try and rip open the net, followed by me. "Looksy! I see you, handsome!", Tina cooed, she was turned away from us, pointing into the tree line, where the net came from. Our eyes already somewhat used to the dark, spotted a shape. A man? Michelle now engaged in trying to rip apart the net even more. I looked at the figure, trying to see them better. But it moved all of the sudden, launching himself with a uncanny jump towards the free standing Tina. Snatching her right up. She was pulled into the bushes. We heard it all rustle. "Oooh- manly man-", Tina cooed again, the silhouette of them indicating, she's tracing his stomach.

I helped Michelle. The net seemed unbreakable. Our initial shock calming down slowly, making us finally able to talk. "Oh my fucking god- TINA RUN!"

Michelle yelled. She was in my vision, I couldn't see what she saw. What happened with Tina or who that was.

"That is not a man!" She kept yelling.

"But he's so-" a loud scream emitted from Tina. I pushed Michelle aside as we both yelled out for her. Who or whatever it was, I pushed Tina against a tree. It's form seeming to ram its hips into her. Her screams were parallel with its thrusts. I panicked. Digging under the net with my bare hands. Michelle joined in, but she mined away the dirt with her heel.

"Wait we have a phone-" I went to grab where my bag was. But the bag was outside the net. I leaned against it, trying to reach it, pulling the hard working Michelle with me. She was caught off guard by my sudden move, making her drop. "Hey!"

No matter how much I tried, I couldn't get to my bag. Even when I pushed so hard against the net, it left markings on me. Michelle caught on to me, reaching for her bag that she wore. Pulling out her phone. "THIS MOTHERFUCKER!" She starred at her screen. Empty. Trying to shut it on again, but it shut right back down before 911 could even be dialed. In a fit or more rage and desperation she smashed her phone on a rock. It shattered on the third try. She used the now smashed phone to cut the net. I took a shard as well and also tried to cut it. The yelling and screaming from Tina has stopped. Whatever it was, it wasn't human and it growled in relief.

I made it, I cut through. I quickly squeezed myself through the still somewhat smal gap I made. I ran, a trident was launched at me. Thankfully not piercing me as a tree was there, making me pinned up by the neck against it. My head was too big to try and squeeze my way out, and the trident was launched to deeply into the tree. Michelle had squeezed out too, running for me, trying to undo the trident holding me hostage. My eyes widen, the creature walked up to us. In the dim light, I myself saw, that that was no human. No animal. But a creature. Otherworldly. It wore what seemed to helmet and armor. I screamed out. Altering Michelle.

She tuned her head. I pushed her. "MICHELLE RUN-"

Michelle looked back at me, unsure. But I pushed her again. So she ran. The creature running after her now. Knowing I was pinned. I pushed against the trident again, my sweaty palms making it difficult to hold on. Or it was just launched to deep. Or both. I looked back at where Michelle had ran to. Only to see that the creature had caught up to her. Having her pinned down. She was gasping, crying. It had her pinned by the hip. I panicked again, as it kept smashing against her hips in a unholy force, making her cry and beg, I turned around, facing the tree and pushing my neck against the trident. Thank god it wasn't sharp. I pushed and pushed. It hurt so much, but I did it, I fell back, the top of the trident scraping against my exposed shoulder and arm. The furred shoulder was fine. I didn't mind the blood. I picked up the trident, looked into the direction Tina was, I couldn't belive my eyes.

She was dead. Her thigh, and neck bruised and bloodied. Only then realising, that her body and head didn't add up. It twisted her head and broke her neck.

I took my eyes off her, facing to Michelle and that... creature. I quickly ran towards them, at first it didn't seem to notice me. But as he did, shortly before I could react in time, he got up, I quickly jolted the trident to the side, falling a bit on Michelle. In the short second I laid on her, my head next to hers, it seemed she was still breathing, but barely.

The creature tried to get ahold of the trident. Grabbing it, and pulling it away from me. But I held it firmly. It started to slip from my hands as it used more force. So I quickly pulled my legs up and kicked against the tridents pole, stabbing it at it with my full force. It didn't hit him directly, but a spot that wasn't covered by its armor. It bled. Green. Neon green. As it tried to recover from its injury, I ran. Following the lights, I noticed heavy stomps behind me. They were quick. Close. I didn't dare look behind me. I knew it was... that.

I decided in a frenzy, that maybe jumping between trees might slow it down. So I went off rail, going zick zack between the trees. It seemed to help. For a while. I was still close to the paths lights, just enough so I could see. Just my luck that I spotted a axe in front of me. I abruptly stopped, grabbed it, and swung out. It jolted back, I almost hit it. Almost.

It roared out, angry, I flinched, but still held the axe steady. I once again tried to launch it at him, several times in a span of seconds. It nicked him twice. It growled and roared again, getting more and more agitated, out of no where it kicked me off my legs, making me fall down, before I could react, it grabbed my axe, as well as me, I hit a tree while I stood, a loud thuck boomed next to my ear. The axe was at my neck. I felt out a shaky gasp. I tried to look behind me, but my head was quickly pushed into the tree by its hand. The other toying with my underwear before ripping it off fully, with a single yank.

It got all close. Shoving my hips upwards and off the ground. It didn't matter to it, that it hurt me in that position. My spine felt over stretched. As well did my stomach and soon something else.

I felt its hips shuffle around, the armor plate in front of its crotch scooting over to so he could insert its otherworldly cock. No warning, no lube, no spit. That thing tore me apart with one shove. I screamed out, so high pitched you'd think I was in a Opera trying to destroy a glass. But my high pitch was soon replaced by deep screams, gasped screams. I was trying to get air. My one arm, I pressed against the tree, trying to not get myself killed whenever he pushed back in and could break my neck by this position he had me. The other was at his thigh, rather my fingertips, trying to prevent him from going to rough or too deep. Which was a lost cause. He, whatever he was, was too strong.

He kept pushing and pushing, his speed and force altered from time to time. Already making me see starts. I was already exhausted. Its grip on my head was now a tiny bit more gentle. Letting me look down. There I saw a green-white hued liquid. Which must be what I was thinking. It slowed. As it did so, my hip jolted from all that he's put me through. But to him, it must have been like invitation to keep going. He yanked me around. Facing him, still off the ground. He disposed of the axe by throwing it on the ground.

Before I could try to kick him, punch him, or anything, he held me up, in the air. No tree I could support myself on now. My hips hovered over his. And he let them crash down on his. I whimpered out again, it didn't hurt as much anymore. My fists were on his chest, I was still trying to push him away. As his hips kept rolling against mine, his clawed hand reached up to the brim of my dress, ripping it off. My boobs jiggling intensly with every deeper and faster thrust. I still pushed against him, he grabbed me by the waist and hip, his large hand being able to hold a, to him smaller creature, up like that. I saw the lit path upside down. He kept up his pace, even going rougher. Weirdly enough it felt so good, so good I let out a long restrained moan. No. I can't enjoy this.

But this feeling. Being stretched, filled out fully... the way he hits every spot. Another moan escaped my lips. My fists, now unclenched, grabbing at his stomach armor. His pace picked up. Thinking I'm trying to tell him to speed up. With that my body shivered throughout, I quickly sat myself up again on his hip, one of my hands grabbing at his shoulder. His monstrous pace not decreasing.

I leaned my head against the crook of his neck. The corners of my eyes turned black. And I screamed as I came undone on him. As I painted the green-white hued liquid on the ground with my own as well.

He still kept up the pace, not letting me recover. I insides clenched around his cock, I needed to recover but I couldn't. He wouldn't let me. He now placed his arms on my shoulder. Pinning me to him as he needed to get his rut out. I moaned and whimpered against his neck, everything went more dark by each push. I didn't recognise anything anymore. Just how he felt in me. How he pushed his seed deeper and further up. I didn't know how many times he came. How long he's been going at it.

I woke up again. I was dropped down somewhat gently on the ground. Sat up on the damn tree. I looked down at myself. As he stood before me. Whenever I moved a muscle, as I tried to get up, a big drop of his green-white cum emitted from my pussy. It even appeared that my stomach was more bloated. My thighs being covered in all that liquid. I looked up at him, behind his head, were the trees heads, exposing the now dawning morning sun. Its been that long!?

I watched as he picked up the axe, then me. Me? I was swung over his shoulder. My stomach pressed against it, making more cum blurt out. He walked deeper into the woods. I was too weak to do anything. Too exhausted. He stopped, I looked over his shoulders. My eyes widen at the sight. A otherworldly craft. A vehicle. A ufo? A ufo. And he carried me inside. Setting me down on a chair in the cockpit, putting on what seemed to be seat belts. "Mate", it said in a scratchy growling voice. He turned away from me and started his ship.

My heart stopped. That sure was a night I won't ever forget.

[royallyprincesslilly]

Title: Trick Or Treat {Headcannon}

Lewis Hamilton x Reader

Words: 1.6k

Warning: Fun & Games, Implied Smut

Note: Happy Halloween, guys!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

~~~~~~~~~~~

Imagine it's Halloween and you and you are going to a Halloween party thrown with some friends that has been thrown by friends of friends. Sorta like a 6° of separation thing where you didn't know you ran in close circles to famous and semi famous people.

You've decided to go as Lewis Hamilton and have even committed so far as to wear a Mercedes race suit, the helmet you bought off eBay from a mega Lewis fan AND strategically position that very familiar bulge down to accurate girth 😏.

Your costume was supposed to be sort of a joke and your best friends were also going as other celebs either in F1 or sports.

You didn't think anything of it and even got tons of compliments for how accurate your costume was. You committed deep and had even gotten your hair braided like his but opted out of the faux facial hair. You thought that was too creepy.

"Girl, I feel like I should just sling you this ass cause you might just be as close to 44 as I will get," your friend Zoë said beginning a twerk.

Everyone busted out laughing while you did the ultimate fuckboi move. Rubbing your hands together like you saw a meal you bout to tear up you licked your lips in the most exaggerated way and nodded your head. Stevie J would be proud.

Once y'all get to the party it quickly becomes clear that you have existed in this 6° of separation world as plenty of semi famous people passed you by.

You and your friends make a vow to make tonight the best night and proceed to drink as much as you can on someone else's dim and see whose son you can go home with.

A few hours into the party you are pretty can't tipsy but not blackout drunk and have been entered into the best costume competition. When you get on the stage with the others, they go down the line asking what you are and to give your best impersonation of what you are dressed as.

It is a hilarious time as each one goes. You watch on as a girl dressed as Marylin Monroe steps forward kisses her hand and blows the kiss before full on lifting her dress in an effort to imitate the steam blowing up Marylin's dress moment. Applause fills the space.

You then watch a pretty dope looking Scorpion step forward and deliver the classic line, "Get over here" before unexpectedly throwing a ninja dagger across the room into the wall.

Your eyes bugged while everyone stood in silence probably trying to figure out just what had happened. When they did, they cheered loudly.

Next it was a girl dressed as Ariel or Ariel if she were in fact over 23 rather than a teenager. For a tail she had on sparkly fishnet stockings and underneath a purple sparkly thong. Her seashell bra was on point but also completely see through and every part of exposed flesh was decorated with pink or purple foil tinsel. You couldn't hate on it or her.

She stepped forward and let lose the Ariel vocal harmonics from when she gave the sea witch her voice. That you could hate on. Everyone coveted their ears and shook their head.

Then you watched someone dressed like Meg the Stallion from the WAP video and when she dropped down to the floor and tweaked on it you hyped her the hell up as did everyone in the club.

Finally, it was down to you and once you stepped forward there was laughter, but most was deafening cheers. With the helmet on it brought it all together and for a second everyone began whispering if you were really him.

When it came time to impersonate him you took the microphone and decided to play it safe. In prime and proper British accent, you spoke.

"You can knock me down, but I get up twice as strong. Yhu know what I mean. I don't aspire to be like other drivers. I aspire to be unique in my own way. I feel like people are expecting me to fail, yeh, therefore I except myself to win. Just like my tat on my back, still I rise."

No one spoke, moved or made a sound for several seconds. You began to think you had fucked it up but then everyone erupted with cheers.

It was a quick deliberation and after it, you were crowned winner. You couldn't believe you pulled it off especially with the shit you said which you clearly pulled out your ass. When you met your friends again you were 500.00 richer.

From then you partied like the end of the world was tomorrow. After a quick trip to the bathroom as you passed down the narrow corridor you felt someone push you against a wall.

"Trick or treat?"

"Uh, what?"

"Clever costume."

Biting your bottom lip, you looked up but thanks to the helmet you couldn't really make out who it was.

"Uh, thanks." You made a move to walk around them but found yourself rooted to the spot.

"I particularly like the um--package down there."

You snorted, your tipsy ass not reading the room one bit.

"Thanks. I mean we don't know if it is accurate or exaggerated by socks, but a girl can dream. Right?"

"So, you dream about it?"

"Be for real I am sure a lot of women have fantasized about peeling back that race suit and taking what's inside as their trophy on their own podium. If you know what I mean."

"Does that include you?"

You were not an idiot you knew who was in front of you was a man and as his scent permeated the air around you, you felt yourself growing bolder though you wondered which guy would get turned on hearing a woman talk like this about a celebrity crush.

"You know what? Sure. Given the chance I would absolutely have my way with him and vice versa."

The next thing you knew your helmet was pulled off bringing you face to face with the absolute last person you expected. Your brain stuttered as did your mouth leaving you speechless.

The man in front of you--Lewis Hamilton himself looked amused as hell.

"What if I said this is your chance?"

"Excuse me?"

He leaned in then, going to your ear. "I'm gonna head out in about an hour, if you decide to take your chance find the guy who looks like a giant teddy bear and tell him "treat."

You couldn't believe you ears, and you didn't trust your words.

He scoffed then spoke again. "I'll ask again. Trick or treat. You decide."

With that he walked off as quickly as he'd cornered you. Holy shit you thought trying to wrap your head around all that had just happened. You needed to sound off with your friends, but you didn't think this was something you should tell anyone. So, for the next hour you continued to enjoy the party.

Every inch of the club you went you felt eyes on you and no matter how hard you tried you couldn't find him again. What are the odds, you asked yourself. You were not opposed to one-night stands. Matter of fact you were absolutely pro one night stands especially with celebrity crushes. You only lived once, right.

By the time the hour was up you'd made your decision. Bidding your friends goodbye, you slid through the crowd looking for someone who looked like a giant teddy bear. The word was as the tip of your tongue. When you finally found him, you spoke them like a witch's incantation.

"Treat."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[gojocumdumpster]

Katsumi is throwing a Halloween party, what is everyone dresses as and whose the drunkest?

When I saw this I was like oooh yeah😭💀

Look at the end for a suprise😏

Type of story:🎂🌹

Warnings: drunk people

Costumes:

Baki: I feel like he would be those type of people who just show up in regular clothes but if he really had to he would wear those hotdog costumes he got chased by wiener dogs after that.

Jack: Hesitated for a second because he said wear costumes are for pussy’s until Baki forced him to put on a Tooth fairy outfit whenever he would go outside and he saw little kids trick or treating they would always stare at him saying “Mommy…why does the tooth fairy look like that?” while their mom covers there eyes.

Pickle: A pickle. He even tried to eat himself, and you know how there’s those pickle carnivals people would always try to take pictures with him😭

Katsumi: His Karate uniform 🥋, everyone was looking at him like you serious? Poor baby left his own party.

Jun guevara: A pirate he had got the inspiration from the movie Pirates and the caribbean’s whatever the fuck it’s called😭 he had a eyebatch and those captain hook 🪝 arms. Kids were running away from him💀

Olivia Biscuit: A biscuit, he couldn’t even get through the door because of how wide the biscuit was, he had to watch his back because pickle was chasing him around the whole house trying to get a bite. And I bet it was dry asf like them popeyes biscuits

Who was the drunkest

(greatest to least)

Jack, he was drinking so much hennessy that he was doing ballerina spins and leaps, he had his fairy wand and everything he was jumping from place to place saying he can fly…

2.Olivia, he loves his grape wine so he had to take a couple of sips. Next thing you know he’s trying to eat the biscuit costume he kept asking for grape jelly for his biscuit….

3.Baki, same thing as Olivia but he was dared to by his brother since he never drinks a blink of an eye he was putting mustard and ketchup on himself and was chasing the wiener dogs instead of them chasing him….

4. Jun, he had some control until after a couple of shots of vodka he was swinging around the rails of the stairs you couldn’t even talk to him cause he would only say “aye,aye captain”

5. Katsumi, He promised his dad he wouldn’t drink alcohol knowing he would get his ass whooped. But when he did have a sip he was in the corner fighting the air.

6. Pickle, Was to busy eating himself.

[gorlygorlx3]

High School AU

As the original post said, this AU is inspired by an anime called K-ON, which is about four girls who are in a club/band called the Light Music Club and go through the hijinks of high school. A real slice-of-life anime with good vibes and heartwarming characters. 

Now for this AU, it’s going to be based in American High School format. (I tried searching up Japan High School Format and it wasn’t working 😔) The Glamrocks are all together in their own band; not a club, a band. In the first episode of K-ON, Ritsu and Mio (two of the four main characters) originally start the revival the club with Ritsu dragging Mio into it and later Mugi (another character).

For this AU, Chica creates the idea of starting a band with Freddy. (They’re childhood friends like Ritsu and Mio.) Freddy, of course being the straight man, says they need some more members for the band. 

That’s where Roxanne and Monty come in.

Both need an art credit to graduate high school (Just like mine) But they don’t want to do an art class nor theatre. So they chose music. (Roxy and Monty don’t know each other at all. They just so happen to have the same problem.) Once they found the band, both immediately joined. And just like that, the Glamrocks were born. (Yay!)

Ok, so what about the twins? 

Well the twins aren’t worried about an art credit nor are they really music inclined. They’re already in theatre. 

And Sun is in 700 other clubs so he has no time for that. 

However, he and Freddy are good friends. And Moon…knows Monty. 

So both twins are in charge of backstage decorations, costumes, lighting (heh heh 😏), all that stuff.  

And DJ?

DJ is the Glamrocks supervisor. In the anime, the club needed a supervisor in order to be even called a club. Ms. Sawako Yamanaka becomes the Light Music Club’s supervisor as she was a previous member when she was in high school. DJ is the music teacher at the school but when he was in his high school years he was an actual dj for parties and concerts, so obviously when he heard about the band he stepped right in. 

Bonnie?

Oh no he’s dead. Yeah terrible car accident. He, Freddy and Chica were all friends since grade school. It was during the last year of middle school when Bonnie died. Freddy and Chica miss him a lot.

Is this going to be an x reader story?

Yes…and no. You are the newest student in school. You’re not in the band since you can’t sing or play an instrument. You’re a good drawer though, so you would make the posters for upcoming concerts and stuff. And that also means you gonna have an art credit. (Y/N) will be treated as Azusa, an undergraduate student who joins the Light Music Club later on in season two. That also means the Glamrocks and the Twins are older and gonna graduate earlier than you so sad times 😢.

That’s all I have for now. Thank you!

[larabiatasstuff]

I saw your list and am wondering if u r willing to write something for candy man? Saw your post on my friends page. I know he's not on your list...but recently re-watch the movie and was immediately smitten by him. Maybe we are playing that game on Halloween and call out his name and he comes and hunts us? But then shows mercy?

Hey anon welcome to my blog and thank you for sending your request. 🖤Candyman is not on my list but since it's Spooktober I'll give it a go😊Also I remember that I had a major crush on him when I was younger 😏

It was Halloween night and I was visiting my cousin in Los Angeles. We were planning a party with some friends of hers,having a few drinks, snacks and maybe telling each other creepy stories later. I was decorating the table for the snacks when Izzy brought the first bowl with chips. "Oh that looks amazing Y/N! Umm where should I put it?" she asked. "Thank you Izzy, here would be nice." I took a step back and looked at my work. "Perfect, alright we have a half an hour left so let's put on our costumes and get ready before the others arrive." Izzy said putting an arm around my shoulders. So we both went to the bathroom and started doing our makeup listening to music on Izzy's phone that suddenly buzzed. She swiped and rolled her eyes" What's wrong? " " Ugh it's Steven, he said he brings Matt with him. "." Who's Matt? " I asked doing my lipliner." It's Steve's best friend. He should be in Florida with his family but it seems not even his own people want to spend time with him. I'm sorry Y/N. " " Oh it's totally fine with me. The more the merrier. Alright I'm finished. What do you say?" I asked spinning around to show her my complete outfit." Girl you look stunning. Really Y/N that dress suits you perfectly." Thank you Izzy. It's almost eight we should go downstairsl, the others will be here soon." we went into the living room, Izzy put on some music and I started lightning the candles. When the clock struck eight the doorbell rang and Izzy hurried to open.

Part two 🖤

[aajjks]

let’s go ladiessss!! 😏

outfit: https://electricdancemerch.com/products/playboy-boudoir-bunny-costume

TPOL!JK

the moment you open the door, jungkook barely makes it inside his quiet home as he’s tripping over his own feet. “c’mon, hun. do you think you can make it upstairs?” you ask and jungkook nods his head as you help him to the shared bedroom. once the two of you are inside the master bedroom, you begin helping jungkook with his clothes and try to get him in his pajamas despite him desperately trying to sleep on the bed or kiss on you.

“here” you say while handing your drunk fiancé a bottle of water “drink this. you need to sober up” and he does exactly as you say and drinks the bottled water. stubbornly, he gets in his pajamas and is sprawled out in bed after a long night spent with his friends.

once the next day rolls around, you’re pretty much taking care of jungkook who is having a hard time with his hangover. jungkook tells you all about his time at the strip club with his friends which leads you to ask if he got a lap dance from one of the strippers there and he’s looking at you with an offensive look. did you really think he’d let them touch what’s yours?

you’re immediately laughing when jungkook gives you his “are you crazy” look. “the point of going to a strip club is for the stripper, hun” you laugh “i wouldn’t mind if you got a lap dance from a stripper, kook. i would’ve paid for one”

ABSOLUTELY NOT. not on jungkook’s watch and never in life either. if it weren’t for you making him go he wouldn’t have went at all. hell, if he knew it was taehyung and jimin at the door, he wouldn’t have answered it because he never gets tired of spending time with you.

now that you think about it, you haven’t hit your friends up about a bachelorette party and it didn’t intend to incase you have a flare up and your health kills the mood. but jungkook is already aware your friends plan on surprising you with a party.

where? he doesn’t know.

when? he doesn’t know that either.

but when the day passes and 7PM comes around and the night arises, there is yet another constant ringing of the doorbell and jungkook goes to get the door since you’re busy cleaning the dishes with a happy jaemin who is wide awake and watching television with his father.

when jungkook opens the door, he’s met with jorja, yerin, and alina who walk in with playboy bunny outfits on which…what the hell?

“move out the way, we came for y/n” yerin says as she happily struts towards you in her playboy bunny outfit before proclaiming that they got one for you too.

“for me? b-but i can’t-“

“nonsense. now go and change into your outfit” yerin says as she watches you go upstairs with all of your friends following behind you. “jungkook is going to kill me, i can’t wear this” you blush when the revealing outfit is on.

“this outfit isn’t for him! well…it is but first, the party then y’know?” smirks jorja who helps fix up your short hair while yerin dolls your face up.

“you’re gonna have a lot of fun tonight. we’ve got all kinds of stuff planned” alina says as she fixed up your white costume.

“you guys planned this?! aww, i love you guys”

“done!!” jorja says when she’s finished doing your hair and yerin finishes your makeup soon after.

“you look sexy” yerin smirks as they all head downstairs in their black bunny outfits and since you’re the bride, your playboy bunny outfit is white.

“okay, kook! i’m gone” you say as you’re the last person to come downstairs while your friends make their way outside leaving you and jungkook alone. “bye min min~” you say as you lift the three month old up to pepper his face with kisses while jungkook’s jaw is still on the floor.

“i promise i’ll be a good girl, okay?” you say to jungkook who is taking in the sexy playboy outfit you’re wearing for your bachelorette party because damn, you look so sexy right now.

You look… mouthwatering. That is the only way to describe you right now. And his eyes are stuck on you, frozen. This outfit was made for your body.

But then he realizes that.. everyone at the club will get to see you like this, so he closes his mouth before he can start drooling right in front of you, and he is visibly sad.

“such a pretty outfit we could’ve had a good time here… your friends are evil people.” He says while you return him the baby, he doesn’t like this at all. “Y-Yn please just stay here with me.” he grabs your hand, giving you his best puppy eyes. “O-Or just take me to the club with you and I’ll sit outside. I swear I won’t bother you guys!”

That Is the most stupid thing to say.

you roll your eyes at his paranoid behavior. “Y-Yeah right.. now you let me go to that bachelorette party so now I have to return the favor.. OK go…” he sighs, cuddling Jaemin close to his chest. And he thinks that he’s never gonna open another door again.

“we’re both gonna miss mommy so much aren’t we?” He waves Jaemins hand at you,

Before you leave, he turns you around and kisses you on your lips, it lasts for a good five minutes, and you can hear your friends whining, and before one of them could come in, you push him away gently.

And he is sulking as you leave.

But never mind. you deserve to have a good time, and of course he trusts you. Why can’t he be more like his other friends who have sent their wives along with you?

Truth is, he doesn’t want to be like them, you are his, only he should get to be with you. Even though that’s unhealthy. You deserve to have fun by yourself too with your friends. And you are a grown adult after all.

He trusts you.

So he closes the door after handing you a coat that you could wear, while you go outside because of course he’s not gonna let people see you like this. You take it of course to make him feel comfortable now you’re gone.

You are so considerate and understanding, he wants to be more like you at least.

So he’s back to watching TV, laying Jaemin on his chest. Just two more days and you’ll be officially married.

That is the only thing that’s keeping him going.

____

Yerin sighs in relief as you’re all on your way to the club. “Yn let’s make sure that you enjoy your last day of freedom from your overbearing fiancé jungkook.” of course she doesn’t like the way he is so all over you at all times. But jorja and alina seem to be disagreeing with yerin, “I think he’s really cute… he’s so in love with yn.” Jorja coos and alina agrees.

“My husband tells me always just how different he is when he is with you, and that is true, because whenever we met.. before you, of course, he was always a little cold and quiet and disinterested.” Alina goes on and on, but it is fascinating. Just how one person can change when they’re in love.

Yerin doesn’t comment on that and she’s now busy on her phone, probably texting her own husband, while jorja is back to asking you about your wedding plans while all of you await to reach your destination.

It’s gonna be so much fun tonight.

[rosey100]

Previously a few weeks before the date

It was the Finales party for everyone who passed at the La Brisa Gala Gallery, For JJ that was the best opportunity to confess to his middle school crush,but things took a bad turn for JJ and long story short he was heartbroken. Varina who saw the whole thing that it wasn't going to let him go out like that and so when in the halls to find a crying JJ on the floor without missing a beat she knew what to do for him.

"Sorry for your little um... incident there...I ah."

*Sniffles* It fine *Sniffes* I know it wouldn't work out.

"Here I figure you need this."

*Hand JJ a tissue

Thanks*sniff*🤧

"JJ, I'm so sorry that-

"I..She was... Sh!t i was..I just thought she would be happy or have feelings for me at least."

"Guess she right, I was just dumb to assu-"

"Hold on! I know that you can be dull and bias intelligence and socially but you are not dumb for showing your feelings for someone to hurt you that way. "😠

"And I see- NO! I know that what she has no f##king say about you being at a prestigious party? My guy I can tell you half of the place is decorated by stuff that was here two years ago or something minus the chandelier and the buffet and for what I tell you half of year ago she was caught for cheating on one of her texts and I heard rumors that she was cheating on her last boyfriend with Shane George in the Lanes Loin mascot costume and they would both in the costume."

"Hmm😣

"What I'm saying is that you too good for her JJ, she just a pretty face with a ugly heart, spoiled, unconsiderate, lazy, floozy b!cth who think about nothing but herself and she's the dumbest one here.😒

*😞

"JJ I know about having to telling you're own feelings to someone but if they show you something truly different, they're not worth crying for than."

"Plus people change thought time and theirs no choice if they show you a differentiate or not, that doesn't make differences on what you do forward."😔☝🏻

"You think so? *sniff*

"I know so J, I mean you're one of sweet, caring, honest, cutest loyal person I ever met and she isn't coming up with a princes let's she want something out of them."

"I guess your right."

"Thanks VV🥺

*Lay her head on his shoulder

*Sighs "Your welcome J, I just hate seeing people getting stamped on for show themselves."

"Also one thing?"

"Yes?"😏

"Did you just called me Cute?!?"

"Wha...No I ..I was just.. Um..You Ah I!?!?!"

*Cartoonishly fastly stands up*

"Pff, Let go get ice cream or something this lame party food stuck anyway."

"Uhh but I thou-?"

"Come on already!"

(Ha she's firery ain't she.😏 )

**Gets up walking beside Varina to the exit**

[agentstarkid]

Now idk when you’re gonna update next but if I don’t get an adorable Halloween couples costume with Ruben and girly that when Daniel sees it he almost loses it cause any holidays when they were together was COVID/lockdown so even though they were together they couldn’t actually do fun couples celebrations…we might have to fight 🤷‍♀️

nonnie, I think we are definitely gon' fight, my love WDYM they couldn’t actually do fun couples celebrations?!

They went to a Halloween get together at Dax and Kristen's in 2021 (Kalopsia), while they didn't do cute couple costumes and it wasn't a big party, they did had costumes on (she was a mime and Dan was...a scarecrow..? a farmer..? idk) and I did a little edit and everything so we are beefin' now, babes 😠😤 JUST KIDDING, JUST KIDDING!! NAAAAH SQUARE UP... lol JK JK... unless... 👀👀👀

I reaaaaally wanted to have Ruben and Girlie attending a Halloween party during the last chapter bc I know Man City had one in 2022 but these were all the photos I could find:

and I wanted Girlie to go as Santanico Pandemonium from From Dusk Till Dawn (salma hayek is the queen mother btw)

LOOK!!! AT!!! THIS!!! WOMAN!!!!!

SO LET ME GIVE YOU A LITTLE HEADCANON!!!!

caution: things might get you a little 🔥🔥 bc it certainly got me like that 🥵

Girlie did go to the party with Rúben.

It was their first official outting as a couple.

He went as Michael Myers and she went as Santanico Pandemonium.

He was the one who took those first two pics of her btw and you better believe my man couldn't keep his hands to himself the whole night 🤪

He tried to play it cool, mingling with his teammates, but he kept sneaking glances at her while she was talking with the other wags and every time she passed by, he found an excuse to brush his hand against her waist, pull her closer, or simply rest his palm on her lower back.

it was a no phones 📵 party so that's why there are not many pictures of it

at one point of the night, my girl definitely went up to the dj and told him to put Retrotón (reggaeton oldies that are 🔥🔥) and got the real party started

I definitely think Toda (Remix) by Alex Rose started pumping through the speakers (although this song is not, by any means, retrotón btw) and to me, that song was made to dance suuuuper close 👀

She turned around, her back pressing against his chest, as the beat vibrated through them. With every sway of her hips, she moved sensually against him, her body in perfect rhythm with the music ((obvs, she is latina c'monnnn)). She let her hands glide up her own waist, slowly, teasingly, while her hips rocked against him. And my man Rúben reeeeeally tried to keep his cool, he really did bless him, but the heat between them was impossible to ignore.

she arched her back slightly, leaning into him, grinding against him as the song’s slow, sultry tempo made the entire room disappear. She looked over her shoulder, catching his smoldering gaze—his eyes dark, filled with desire and his ragged breath on her ear 🥵🥵

My man Rubs, clearly affected, wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, his fingers tightening with every movement she made. "You're going to kill me, anjo," he murmured, his breath hot against her ear. She just smiled, knowing exactly the effect she was having on him. "That's the idea," she whispered back, not slowing down for a second.

Rúben, normally composed and controlled, was undone, completely captivated by her every move. His hands gripped her hips tighter, the need to close the distance between them almost overwhelming, but she just continued to tease, drawing out the moment and leaving him completely hot and bothered.

sooooo that's where my man said fuck this and dragged her to some abandoned room in that place or the bathroom ((it's up to you)) and they had their own party iykyk 😏

She might have posted some photos/videos of the night to her CF ((she posted those photos of her and ooooof)) and OF COURSE Danielito—who's still on that list—saw them all bc he defff has her notifications still on ((as much as he claims that he just keeps forgetting to turn it off, we all know that man is LYING))

His jaw dropped, his heartbeat skyrocketed, something else went UP and hard and then he saw green 🤷🏽‍♀️

fuck i need a cold shower now

ANYWAYS, the next halloween party is not coming until the chapter after this one I'm working on bc tumblr only allows me to use 30 pics per post 😩 and about this next one, I'm trying to finish it by the end of the month so I have 2 weeks to get my shit together and finish it, but I WILL FINISH IT because I've been gone for too long 😞

i hope you liked that lil' thing i pulled from my horny lil brain, nonnie!! we'll see what else comes out next lol I might need to make a blurb or something of Girlie and Rúben together hmmm 🤔 we'll see, we'll see...

thank you for reaching out, babes! hope you have a great day!!! ily chaucitoooo 🖤

[polniaczek]

Tootie and Natalie too?

tootie

favorite thing about them: her earnestness least favorite thing about them: the writers did her dirty during in s2-4 and made her kind of annoying for no reason favorite line: "this is too much… having a white maid 😏" or when she comes shuffling back from that one costume party and goes "there were 14 diana rosses at the party and two of them were white!" lmao brOTP: nat n toot 4 lyfe OTP: jeff by default i guess but i'll never forget the only tfol dream i've ever had where tootie had a thing for george bc it was honestly so sensible nOTP: i'm sure there is one but idr random headcanon: when tootie is finally on her own, she takes a step back and - of her own volition this time - reflects on her tokenized experience. doesn't regret it necessarily because her eastland friendships are lifelong but does see herself in a new light. i say this because when i watch regine on living single i get sad for tootie lol unpopular opinion: weirdly she's the only character i wish we had gotten to see date more. jeff could've still been endgame but like let this girl find herself onscreen pls song i associate with them: i've always thought that tootie would be a huge fan of the wiz and know all the songs by heart. like i can picture her humming ease on down the road so often that she annoys the other girls 💛 favorite picture of them:

natalie

favorite thing about them: her levelheadedness and her sass. sometimes she speaks like she's the only one with common sense and she's surrounded by buffoons least favorite thing about them: not her, but the show.. that we only got to see the tiniest little glimpses of her jewishness favorite line: i can't decide if she got the best lines or if mindy just delivered them the best but sooo many. "I knew we were soul sisters!" or "could that be YOUR wing-ding, blair?" or "if we had any class, we'd leave. 🪑" or "hold it hold it hold it hold it holllddd it hoollllllllldd it. you GUYS are making a MESS." honorary mention to the scene where she's trying to figure out how blair and her sister are related. i don't remember how the quote goes but she ends up saying something like "meg's father was married to blair's second mother" and it cracks me up every time brOTP: toot toot tootie OTP: all her bfs are forgettable nOTP: the one-man rumor mill from sex symbol random headcanon: i think (?) the show retconned this but she DID have an older sister in s1 and i hc that they aren't close at all. her sister is tall and thin and judgmental and she's nat's first source of insecurity unpopular opinion: on tumblr this isn't unpopular but in the grand scheme of things it is. mindy looks great on the show and she's so cute and i'm baffled by how natalie became thought of so negatively in pop culture song i associate with them: bruce springsteen is quintessential early seasons nat and i can def imagine her rocking out to born to run favorite picture of them: i couldn't decide which frame

[lizzyloulouzzz]

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[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster Pt.1

Rio: Is anyone awake/alive in your room and do they want a coffee

Buster: I am, though I was considering going out for coffee before anybody else is awake/alive

Rio: I don’t think anyone else from last night is going to be up to facing town today

Rio: so I see the appeal

Buster: So come on, get ready to go with me

Rio: You don’t have to ask me and ruin your peace

Rio: barely out of your birthday, you have time to be spoilt yet, I won’t tell

Buster: It was more of a command, and since, as you just pointed out, it’s basically still my birthday, you aren’t entitled to refuse

Rio: Alright 😏 as I did entirely walk into that one

Rio: I’ll go try to find my things and hope they aren’t stuck under some dead/asleep girl

Buster: I could walk back into my costume if you require any more convincing than that, there isn’t exactly much to it, I’d beat you in the race for first even with the head start I’ve given

Buster: Finders keepers, it means you may well luck out on your own shit but Nancy’s remains up for grabs

Rio: You certainly could but I don’t think you could then walk out of the front door, not in the daylight

Rio: Good thing I already lost the wig, a few designer items is one thing, can’t have her thinking I want to take her life

Buster: A dare if I’ve ever heard one

Buster: I’m relieved, yeah, not the plus one I invited

Rio: Obviously, though it’d be as much of one to be seen out with you so can’t say I’m not playing fair

Rio: Yeah, she mentioned you weren’t friends right now, repeatedly

Buster: I can say it’d be an honour and a privilege for you to be seen out with me in any state of dress or undress, with a straight face and everything

Buster: and that of course we aren’t friends, we never have been, she’s my sister, it’s a different category entirely

Rio: It isn’t your straight face anyone would be thinking about

Rio: That we can agree on though, entirely different and much more complicated

Buster: Or looking at, I know

Buster: Last night she made things very uncomplicated, simple, in fact

Rio: Sheer dumb luck

Rio: I can be glad for you, whilst I work up to faking I am for her

Buster: Hard work combined with a genetic lottery

Buster: Are you sure? You weren’t up to your usual standard of deception when I last saw you

Rio: Deception makes it sound sordid

Rio: Turning up to a party to be a bitch to the hostess might be standard here but it’s not really my style

Buster: Obviously, I chose it to make everything sound less boring than it was at the time and yet again is as we relive it in your previously mentioned daylight

Rio: Well, it could’ve just been your bodypaint reflecting off the lights

Rio: but now you’ve confirmed otherwise, you didn’t exactly look thrilled yourself, when I last saw you

Buster: Because I wasn’t, babe, and what do I have to gain by keeping that a secret from you, then or now

Rio: Nothing, of course

Rio: you were the birthday boy, you understand my surprise at the state of affairs

Buster: Not really, given that the state of affairs were a joint party with my twin who couldn’t have been more thrilled by said event and a problem which isn’t shared can’t be halved, so unfortunately it was only the limelight that was

Rio: She’s always been more easily pleased

Rio: Sorry your birthday was shit, though

Buster: She isn’t playing with a full deck, intellectually, it stands to reason

Buster: whereas I am, and as a result, I’ll have many more birthdays she isn’t going to be capable of ruining

Rio: I can toast to that, with a coffee, the bottle that your sister is cradling doesn’t look appealing

Buster: Water or an empty glass is bad luck, coffee shouldn’t make things any worse than they already are, I don’t think

Rio: It’d be fucked up if I accidentally cursed you

Rio: will have to double check, not fancying risking it myself

Buster: Get in touch with grandad, it’s his job to be an expert

Rio: I know he would’ve called you yesterday, the hangover today is practically compulsory and you’d be in no fit state to chat shit with then

Buster: Arguably, I’d be in a better state for it, but I don’t have a hangover because it wasn’t my 30th

Rio: If he wanted a properly captive audience, perhaps

Rio: You know what I mean, you aren’t as rough as you should be

Buster: Neither are you, especially after being forced to act as Nancy’s captive audience, oblivion was deserved and owed to you

Rio: I must’ve been in the bathroom when it was handed out, I don’t know

Buster: You know, but don’t worry, I won’t in turn force you to tell me

Rio: If it was the usual sob story, I would, you could delight in my tragic love life

Buster: Wrong twin, I’d take no delight in hearing about your boyfriends, ex or otherwise

Rio: Delight, torture, it’s a fine line

Rio: but there’s nothing to report

Buster: Report how much longer you’re going to keep me waiting instead, there’s an equally fine line for anticipation

Rio: You’re impatient, therefore blatantly single

Buster: I’m always single

Rio: I know but it’d be presumptuous to not indulge in the catching-up chitchat we didn’t have time for last night

Buster: Small talk is just that, it limits

Rio: So be generous and give me 10 more minutes and we can talk big

Buster: 5 minutes

Rio: Suit yourself, it’s your honour on the line when you have to be seen with me

Buster: Suit yourself if you aren’t going to even try with a counter offer of 7

Rio: 7 ½ is what I’d ask for

Buster: So ask

Rio: Or I just take 7 ½ minutes, and you can’t even be mad because you were expecting me to take 10

Buster: I wouldn’t be mad, I’d be proactive and come find you

Rio: See, now I know any threat to leave without me is empty, could take 15

Buster: The threat, were I to make one, would be that I’d carry you downstairs, ready or not

Rio: That does sound awful

Buster: Don’t take 15 and you won’t need to find out

Rio: Noted 

Buster: [A location he wants to take her to for this date] stops serving breakfast at [a time like midday which it is nowhere near rn we’re just saying it to be sassy]

Rio: Omg, hi grandad! 😘

Buster: I’d happily go with him if he was around, as it stands, you’ll have to do

Rio: [come downstairs, so you’re not taking 15 minutes here]

Buster: [taking her wrist when she’s on the last step as if he has to literally drag her out of this house because she’s so reluctant and has been taking a thousand years but we know why really]

Rio: [dramatically gasp like you are about to fall down this last step and he’s gonna let you hit the deck because likewise]

Buster: [obvs steadying her as dramatically like she is falling/gonna without his help because simply must]

Rio: [shaking our head so we don’t just LOOK at you without saying or doing anything here]

Buster: [not at all basically pushing her up against the front door because it’s saucy af, ONLY because y’all gotta go rn immediately of course]

Rio: [making excuse me kind of noises and whipping around to face him so your back is against said front door, brushing some bodypaint remnant off his neck, rubbing it between your fingers and tutting like see ‘impatient’]

Buster: [you have no reason to be touching her back, sir, but we all know damn well he’s touching her hair like so so glad this wig hasn’t made a reappearance, despite the fact you’ve already said as much and she’s already said it’s lost + a look like you too because she didn’t leave it the 15 mins so clearly wants to go too]

Rio: [rolling your eyes in amusement, as if we’re not also bright red, knowing he’s thinking about said wig ‘I was not dyeing my hair, not even for your 18ths’ pluralizing as if we remotely would for Nancy ever, reach back and open this door, clearly have to prove you can maintain eye contact nbd]

Buster: [‘Save it for my 21st’ with the same amused vibe about her pulling a retro Rihanna as we can’t dwell on how hot or not that would be as a move rn, deliberately not including Nancy’s bday in this because he’s too done to share another birthday party with her but more importantly because we all know you weren’t making costume effort for her, it goes without saying that he’s also maintaining said eye contact while he’s using his body weight and their ridiculous proximity to push her through the then open door]

Rio: [‘I’ll try to remember, if it’s a birthday command’ like oh okay birthday boy ‘if I’m not [wherever Nancy has already said she wants to go for her 21st, probably skiing or some posh nonsense]’ a look like God help me, nudging him back as he’s pushing you through the door, not hard enough to stop him but just because]

Buster: [‘I’ll let her be the one to waste her birthday privileges’ because what a flop move Nancy as per, he isn’t gonna ask this gal to book into a hair salon of all the things he could demand lol, giving her his own look that’s v unimpressed + reinforces could never be me, with a shrug that we’re also using to push her back a little bit] 

Rio: [a noise like yeah, that sounds like her ‘more concerned about mine now’ like excuse me, my own 18th to care about first, walking forward so you stop touching each other for no reason]

Buster: [‘What are you doing, if you’re not [stealing Nancy’s 21st idea to piss her off but doing it less basic because you’re not a flop, gal]’ gotta act like we’re only asking the question to shade Nancy/encourage you to steal her thunder and not because we’re interested/want an invite] 

Rio: [looking at him like because that’s feasible ‘my friends aren’t paying to get pissed up a mountain’ not giving you a response ‘cos we’d still be with the boyfriend who dumps us for OFs in a while, so clearly doing something with him]

Buster: [‘their loss’ but sarcastically because obvs we don’t think it’s a peak fun time either, he’s a sporty boy if he was there he’d ski, sis] 

Rio: [‘tell me about it’ like we’re devastated too and couldn’t think of a million better things to do ‘cold enough at home by my birthday’]

Buster: [telling her about when you have been skiing because of course you have as if she’s really asking ‘Don’t pick a party theme involving costumes and you’ll be fine’ dangerous to remember what you were both wearing last night but he shamelessly is thinking about that mermaid fit, how could he not be] 

Rio: [‘it’s like being chatted up last night all over again’ ‘cos I dread to think the quality of that chat lol; likewise now thinking about that don’t mind us]

Buster: [gotta lol at what she said though so it’s not blatant he’s fuming about her being chatted up by all those flops, don’t wanna think about that, thank you] 

Rio: [‘why’d you fall out then?’ getting back in step with him, gesturing like beside the obvious because we all know what she’s like]

Buster: [‘Didn’t she tell you?’ with a tone that makes it clear we find it impossible to believe she wouldn’t have because she’s that bitch who loves to both overshare and complain/play the victim and feel well hard done by even though she’s actually in the wrong] 

Rio: [‘it weren’t exactly… transparent’ because god knows what she said, if it was true, if it made any sense, we’re not going by that, an eyebrow raise to convey this]

Buster: [‘It never is’ because if she’s not a drunken mess she’s a dyslexic one and it isn’t that she’s trying to be a Taylor style mastermind, or it’s all of those] 

Rio: [a noise like yeah, fairplay ‘don’t usually bother you though’ looking up at him]

Buster: [‘doesn’t it?’ looking at her like are you sure about that, because it definitely does and has always wound him up lol] 

Rio: [doing the ehh hand wave thing ‘alright, you wouldn’t let it ruin your good time then’]

Buster: [‘Well, last night she went too far’ because you did hun] 

Rio: [just looking at him, concerned because genuinely]

Buster: [giving her a look back to get across that we don’t wanna talk about the James of it all because the Chlo of it all is also linked to that and he wants to go there even less] 

Rio: [obviously not pushing it because not the move, shrugging it off like okay, I understand]

Buster: [‘Do you want to talk about what ruined yours?’ because she wasn’t having a good time either, we know] 

Rio: [‘it weren’t your mates or choice of soundtrack’ like I was in a shit mood before I arrived, don’t worry]

Buster: [‘I know’ cos you can’t tell me he didn’t notice her arrive and that she was already not in the mood] 

Rio: [not being so buzzing on the low he noticed you and you can’t help but smile a little]

Buster: [Do some walking hun before this turns into any more of a moment because he’s likewise not gonna force her into having a heart to heart rn]

Rio: [you don’t need to do all that now, you can get to wherever you’re going ‘we’re not doing takeout, are we?’ because 1. We don’t want to 2. Imagine trying to guess every straggler's coffee order, no tah]

Buster: [‘No’ with an almost hilarious amount of feeling there because he doesn’t want to either, the whole point was getting out of the house and leaving those flops behind]

Rio: [the noise equivalent of ‘good’ without actually saying the word, just perusing the baked goods casually]

Buster: [he is 1000% the sort of bitch to order for himself and her without consulting her about it, soz gal, thank god you aren’t the total strangers you pretend to be and he does know enough about you that you won’t totally hate his pick]

Rio: [it’s the sort of thing we’re SO into, even if we have to protest otherwise in amusement for the look of the thing ‘are you always like this?’ 😏 as we’re finding the best spot in this cafe for some privacy and cosy vibes, definitely claiming the armchairs/sofa moment with the coffee table instead of a table, tucking our feet up beneath us]

Buster: [‘Like what exactly?’ as you don’t know full well, sir, was gonna sit him opposite her for the eye contact opportunities but we always do that and if anyone would sit unnecessarily close to her for no reason, he would, so be next to her on this sofa]

Rio: [just looking down at the lack of space between y’all now like yeah, you know what boy ‘an observation, not an insult’]

Buster: [‘Then yeah, I am’ because even though the answer is closer to a no in terms of y’all’s vibe we’re projecting that this is who we always are, of course, besides he is always the arrogant bitch who thinks he knows best hence ordering for you whether you like it or not lol]

Rio: [‘take what you can get, huh’ like very the family motto of you, I see ‘you want me to distract you from your problems with mine then?’ with a OTT sigh like let’s do this]

Buster: [‘No, but I thought you might want to take what you can, like I said earlier, a problem shared is a problem halved, allegedly’ as if you’re the last person on earth she’d want to talk to about anything but y’all have to make do]

Rio: [‘as we’re both here’ with a ‘what else would we possibly do?’ tone ‘it’s a long story though’ pushing his drink towards him as it’s laid on the table by the barista, like you’ll need this, casually brushing your fingers against his before moving your hand away to take your own drink]

Buster: [nod as he takes it because you don’t have anywhere else to be and rushing back home is the last thing either of you feel like doing, cheersing with your drink and hers and taking a drink of whatever espresso based concoction I’m sure he chose]

Rio: [likewise drink some of your own drink before getting into this because not going to kick up a fuss and we obviously like whatever you picked anyway ‘it’s not like you should need three guesses, even now’ like it’s obviously a family thing, you know that much about me]

Buster: [‘I didn’t realise you were waiting for me to guess’ because he’s also that bitch who’d think he could get guess right on the first try, even though in this instance you definitely could not, boy]

Rio: [tut like no, give me a minute, sir ‘if you found out something that could really screw over-’ stopping because Nancy is not going to work for this analogy right now ‘-Ava, or your mum, would you tell them, when if they didn’t find out, they’d carry on being okay?’]

Buster: [‘How okay can they be if they’re being kept out of the loop on something that could screw them over? Something like that, they deserve to know. Not to mention, if I found out about it there’s a chance somebody else could, it would always be better coming from me’]

Rio: [shake your head ‘no one else is going to find out, not in this case’]

Buster: [‘If you can seriously guarantee that, and it’d do more harm telling them, maybe don’t’]

Rio: [nod like yeah ‘that’s the conclusion I reached too, it didn’t make my mood any better, though’]

Buster: [‘It won’t, it’ll eat you up inside, knowing they do still deserve to know’ very comforting boy, thanks so much]

Rio: [a look like oh, great ‘well, that’s brilliant, Buster’]

Buster: [‘I’m not going to lie to you, who does that help?’]

Rio: [do a little lol like ‘me, maybe, boy’]

Buster: [‘If you already can’t handle this you’ll crack and tell them, maybe at the worst possible time, so you’d both be better off telling them while you’re still relatively sane’ again, very nice of you]

Rio: [giving him a nudge like oi ‘I haven’t lost it yet, I’m not going to, thanks very much’ thinking about how long you were stalked and kept that to yourself]

Buster: [‘Good, don’t’ because that’d be BAD and nobody wants it to be a thing, not even this boy who pretends he cares not for most of this fam rn]

Rio: [‘is that the extent of the pep talk?’ like was expecting a bit more from you, bants]

Buster: [‘you just told me you don’t need one’]

Rio: [‘you can redeem yourself’ gesturing like off you go lol]

Buster: [‘wrong twin’ like excuse you I’m not the evil one]

Rio: [‘I had noticed’ like you’re not as bad company, nudging you in a nicer way this time]

Buster: [share something you’re breakfasting on here to prove how nice you are, boy]

Rio: [no need to make eye contact as you eat this food and yet here we are]

Buster: [you definitely don’t need to but here he also is, hence a beat before he speaks and says ‘I have loads of actually insane girls in my messages, if you ever need somewhere to vent, I probably won’t even see it’ because he can’t just be like you can talk to me if you need to xx ILY so there’s that]

Rio: [‘oh tah, I’ll take a look’ putting your hand out for his phone like let’s go but then carry on breakfasting]

Buster: [‘It wouldn’t make you feel any better’ because true, these girls are grim and not what he meant so not gonna hand his phone over ever lol]

Rio: [‘I’ve seen worse’ like your texts and DMs will be no worse than mine boy, but obviously not expecting you to actually show us]

Buster: [‘of course you have’ because she’s a hot girl so blatantly, but with the tone of that’s not the point]

Rio: [looking at him like ? because we missed the point tbh]

Buster: [a lil headshake because like he said this isn’t gonna cheer either of y’all when you can pretend that you’re both not v attractive instead]

Rio: [raising a brow ‘cos we don’t get it but okay, not something we need to push ‘can’t all be bad’ lowkey implying you saw him talking to some girls last night]

Buster: [a look like if you say so because can neither confirm or deny they all suck]

Rio: [‘charmer’ 😏 because we know they’re all flops, we’ve got eyes and ears]

Buster: [‘you’ve met worse’ because we know your boyfriend/past boyfriends you’ve had is a/are flops I’m sure]

Rio: [‘understatement’ because not about to deny that]

Buster: [absolutely have to order something else she gets no say in to really make that point her exes/current bf aren’t it, excuse us]

Rio: [‘you aren’t going to let me get anything in, are you?’]

Buster: [‘You shouldn’t need 3 guesses’ because no he isn’t lol]

Rio: [smile so big shamelessly ‘cos you don’t know what else to do or say]

Buster: [do your own smile back because that shit is infectious and you’re not a psychopath but not as big]

Rio: [‘It’s Liam and Edie’ blurt that out so you don’t something else]

Buster: [obviously he wasn’t expecting to be told that and he was expecting it to be about them even less because they are such a happy couple rn and lowkey always, but he can keep the !! off his face because he’s that bitch, blatantly trying to work out what’s occurring because she said nobody is gonna find out so it can’t be a cheating scandal or something like that]

Rio: [‘Liam, actually’ attempting to make that make more sense when you see his face, however briefly the confusion is there, ‘cos you know that was out of nowhere ‘it was years ago’ sounds like you slept with him now]

Buster: [having a drink/food pause while he tries to work out what the hell she means there because doesn’t believe Rio would’ve slept with Liam, she’s not that bitch ‘But you found out recently’ because clearly so not a ?]

Rio: [nodding, spinning her mug on the table ‘it took a while to work everything out, be sure, not that I am, it’s still so…’ trailing off ‘cos what even]

Buster: [the way he reaches out when she’s spinning that mug and just puts his hand on her wrist because of course he does, it’s obvious she’s upset before she’s even said anything, and then doing like a reassuring thumb sweep when she says what she does]

Rio: [doing the thing where you wipe your eyes like I’m fine, I’m fine, even though you’re not actually crying or anything that dramatic right now ‘I used to get these weird messages, started the summer before we turned 13, lasted about 2 years’ doing a deep breath ‘cos it is a long story and you’ve never had to tell it before ‘knowing where I was, what I was doing, that sort of thing’]

Buster: [‘Until they got together’ because it doesn’t take a genius to work out with her literally telling him the timeline]

Rio: [‘in hindsight, it’s all obvious, that’s the point’ because exactly]

Buster: [‘obvious isn’t the word’ because nobody would see this coming]

Rio: [‘yeah, it started and ended on his birthday, worked it out’ shrugging like it’s not a big deal]

Buster: [‘his birthday?’ because that’s a weird detail, soz Liam]

Rio: [‘I kept the messages’ because yeah, we don’t know why either but that’s when we got this surprise message, which we’re finding to show him now ‘there’s not been any since’]

Buster: [Reading all these messages, simply must ‘What the fuck’ basically under his breath while he is because how wild and not at all where he thought this convo would go]

Rio: [‘I know’ because we’re still processing this ‘his sister died’ because doesn’t take a genius to work out the why, even though we don’t know why us]

Buster: [likewise trying to process this ‘We don’t know if he’s better now’ because that was mentally ill behaviour Liam, we can’t pretend otherwise, soz hun, and only Edie is gonna be the one in the know with the true tea if he’s well or NOT WELL these days]

Rio: [‘it’d been years, I’d forgotten’ we definitely hadn’t forgotten but we weren’t actively thinking about it, is what we really mean ‘I mean, he never did anything really weird’ by which we mean something sexual ‘cos what we assume and what the vibe is with random internet weirdos]

Buster: [‘this is weird, babe’ gesturing at her phone because it is]

Rio: [‘yeah but-’ and just looking at him because don’t want to admit the fact Edie wouldn’t side with us, if we brought it up, but you know, we all know that much]

Buster: [looking back at her because it goes without saying he understands all of that which she was communicating with her look, nevertheless, gotta say ‘But there’s no time limit on grief, his sister’s still dead and he’s with yours’ because it’s a valid point, y’all don’t know if he’s doing different weird shit now to cope, we know he isn’t but]

Rio: [shaking your head so hard like no no ‘she’d not put up with that’ because now we’re clearly thinking the worst, however sure we’re trying to sound]

Buster: [‘With what though? We have no idea where her line is or how close he is to crossing it with whatever he could be using as a new coping mechanism since he stopped doing all this’ because you don’t or what’s going on behind closed doors either, obvs]

Rio: [‘don’t make me change my mind when I’ve just made it up’ like oh my God, because we’re back into the rock and a hard place we were before we’d made up our mind last night and were then in a sad af mood]

Buster: [‘They’ve got a kid together’ because as close as he’ll ever get to outright being like maybe I was wrong to say you shouldn’t tell her, it’s okay, sir you didn’t have all the info then, you’re allowed to change your decision]

Rio: [‘exactly’ because that works both ways]

Buster: [look at her because yeah okay also valid]

Rio: [resting your head on his shoulder like ffs because literally]

Buster: [‘we’ll figure it out’ idk how you will, boy, but it’s your vibe to say that and mean it]

Rio: [‘yeah?’ quietly, still on your shoulder]

Buster: [‘yeah’ with all the conviction ever because he’s a child of baze so of course, proactive forever and always]

Rio: [eventually,lift your head up and smooth your clothes and hair down ‘sorry’ patting his shoulder where your head just was for the unspoken thank you too]

Buster: [‘Don’t be’ again really sincerely because she’s got nothing to apologise for remotely, she doesn’t need the help fixing her hair or clothes but he is for that excuse to touch her, we all know it]

Rio: [‘so I look shit’ but the way we’re saying it and giving you !! eye contact about it changes the vibe entirely]

Buster: [shaking his head without breaking that eye contact for a single second]

Rio: [‘one thing out of this weekend’ not really specifying what you mean there but could be as innocent as at least I’m still slaying]

Buster: [order her another coffee like that’ll also make things better but we all know the reality is you wanna stay here longer and it’s probably the sort of place that they’d chuck you out if you’re loitering]

Rio: [‘gonna be buzzing again’ because I’m sure you both got some level of high last night, even though neither of you were smashed, coke isn’t like that]

Buster: [‘you’re welcome’ because you’ll need it to deal with Nancy’s bs because you can’t just leave without being like hi and bye babes]

Rio: [‘I owe you, more like’ because I’m sure you didn’t get him a present ‘cos you’re not meant to have a clue what he might want and Ali as their auntie would’ve got something from y’all, obviously]

Buster: [‘course you don’t’ shout out to whatever present you got Alison, love you]

Rio: [nod like yes I do ‘not got to return the favour’]

Buster: [‘you can owe me for the new skis when you unwrap them on your birthday and return them the day after’ because bants bants]

Rio: [loling ‘better fucking not’ like there’d go my excuse for not going]

Buster: [‘What do you want? I know it’s not only [whatever baze are sending, realistically either money or gift cards cos they are rich and busy]’ when you know she’s a sentimental bitch who likes feelsy gifts not just a materialistic one]

Rio: [‘I could send you my list’ for the bants but we’re also not going to ask for anything seriously because we’d feel bad about not getting you anything now ‘Had to get Nance [some perfume or something]’ because she invited you]

Buster: [‘Or you could just think of something right now’ not at all subtle move to get you to think about something else that isn’t the Liam of it all]

Rio: [‘Don’t you like surprises?’]

Buster: [‘Oh okay, you’d rather I surprise you’ as if she’s doing her own not at all subtle hint there lol]

Rio: [an expression like not going to say no, even though we’re sure you won’t really ‘obviously’]

Buster: [‘noted’ because I’m definitely gonna have to get him to send you a bday present whatever you’re doing to celebrate, he’s that bitch]

Rio: [‘come on’ pulling on his hand but not actually getting up, like I need to take you shopping immediately now]

Buster: [amused, acting as if he’s gonna arrange for that 2nd coffee he ordered them to be a take out one like okay then]

Rio: [‘it’s barely belated if we hurry’ because we have been briefly distracted here so well done]

Buster: [when you’re for real tempted to actually go because she’s so cute about this]

Rio: [‘you didn’t get nothing what you wanted last night’]

Buster: [‘you don’t have to take it upon yourself to redeem my shit 18th’]

Rio: [shrug ‘I could’ like don’t get it twisted honey]

Buster: [😏 because the ego has amused him but also there’s no lie detected, she easily could]

Rio: [folding her arms like believe me boy, faux grumpy]

Buster: [putting some food into her mouth like a heathen but gotta as if she needs cheering up that badly]

Rio: [👁👄👁 for real because any response would be INAPPROPRIATE] 

Buster: [literally gonna have to say they bring that 2nd coffee to y’all’s table rn because I don’t trust this boy]

Rio: [distraction o’clock thank you kindly barista, swallow that food and move yourself away slightly]

Buster: [at least you can thank said barista for bringing that because your drink would be too hot to take a sip of and I do need you to hush atm sir]

Rio: [me like remember you’re meant to be sad miss ma’am ‘so-’ clearing your throat ‘I should tell her?’]

Buster: [think about this logically please and don’t just answer rashly ‘Wouldn’t you want to know?’]

Rio: [trying to imagine but you don’t have a child with anyone and haven’t had a relationship that serious ‘only if he was doing anything to me’]

Buster: [‘She won’t tell you if he is until you talk about what he did to you’ because true Edie’s not just gonna be like guess what everyone Liam’s a right weirdo because x y z out of nowhere]

Rio: [bite your lip, nod because yes, that is true]

Buster: [‘But I understand the urge to believe his fucked up behaviour towards you is the beginning and end of it’ because it’s not like he wants Edie to be in peril here either]

Rio: [‘there’s no signs’ just thinking out loud because obviously we have never considered this until this bombshell ‘could be overreacting’]

Buster: [‘It spanned years though’ like are we overreacting because that is not at all casual and in fact a lot Liam]

Rio: [‘he was a kid’ not really enough of an excuse but ‘maybe I upset him’]

Buster: [‘so were you, what could you have possibly done to warrant any of it?’]

Rio: [‘maybe I overstepped, was too much?’ re. being nice to his sister and then his grief after]

Buster: [‘No, Rio’ using her name for the first time because it’s important she listens since she’s not that OTT bitch and we all know it]

Rio: [a yeah well sort of noise but we’re not going to insist ‘cos not dying for that to be true]

Buster: [‘it wasn’t your fault’ pulling her gently by both wrists as he turns his body so y’all are facing each other and close af again, in the same manner of listen to me this is important ‘However he reacted to you sending your condolences, that’s all you were doing, you didn’t do anything wrong, you did a kind thing’]

Rio: [properly look at him and take this in, whether or not you fully agree with what he’s saying doesn’t matter, you’re still hearing it and taking it in ‘I don’t understand it if he’s doing it again now though’ because what if he did fully start again, thankfully not]

Buster: [‘I don’t understand why he did it in the first place, our parents have a dead sister and they didn’t immediately start stalking anyone’ True but all the mcvickers kids are ridiculously codependent af and weird as we know and probably shouldn’t be used as a good example lol]

Rio: [shrug ‘Grief isn’t always rational, is it’ because Joe is also there as an example of losing it, at least from everyone else’s POV]

Buster: [his own shrug because you do have a point there, you can’t apply rational thought to this, lads and if we are being evil giving baze another baby after the twins and before Ava who died, I’m sure they haven’t always behaved rationally about it, the point being regardless that y’all have already seen different examples of it and know it’s different for everybody ‘I said as much myself before, but that doesn’t give him a free pass to treat you like that and then start a new life with Edie as if he didn’t do any of it’]

Rio: [‘I’m just going to have to get over it though’ because yeah, what can you do but at this point, push your drink away like this is a meeting and it’s over]

Buster: [‘Bullshit, however happy they are, or aren’t, now, he used you and your sister to get there, you have to tell her that’ because he’s not having that]

Rio: [‘Isn’t that what everyone does?’ sans the stalking element being conveyed with a ‘you know what I’m saying’ wave of the hand]

Buster: [‘No’ because he can’t just casually put aside the stalking element here when he thinks it’s not at all at coincidence that Edam is together now ‘she needs to know calculated it all is’]

Rio: [‘surely if it was calculated, it’d be me not her?’ sounds arrogant but I understand your point ‘why didn’t he try to get with me?’ we know full well you don’t have the answers to that question either but telling Edie is such an uncomfortable prospect we’re doing anything to avoid it being reality rn]

Buster: [‘You’re out of his league’ said so matter of factly here it makes me cackle because this boy is acting like Liam is fugly instead of looking how he does, but I get it you think he’s v strange and that Rio is perfect so ‘not to mention on totally different wavelengths’ because true Edam have so much in common meaning y’all don’t at all, and nobody could accuse Liam of faking that for all this time to get with Edie because why and yeah if he was gonna fake a personality he’d try and do it for Rio]

Rio: [doing a ‘ha!’ like no I’m not ‘so he stalked us both and worked out she was more interesting?’ pausing for a sec then doing another shrug like sounds legit ‘not great for building my confidence but alright, sure’]

Buster: [‘Interesting isn’t the word’ because no thank you ‘available is’ not trying to call her a slag but he knows damn well that she would’ve not been without a bf during that time]

Rio: [‘not a save you need to make’ like it’s alright ‘point is, he clearly actually loves her’]

Buster: [‘It doesn’t change the fact he coupled with her for the wrong reasons initially’]

Rio: [put your head in your hands and do a big sigh because yeah ‘for fuck’s sake’ under our breath]

Buster: [putting an arm around her cos so soz this sucks and he’s the kind of bitch who has to say this and not just hush]

Rio: [sit yourself back up and shake it off because never trying to be this much of a downer ‘can’t do anything ‘til I’m home so don’t worry’]

Buster: [push her drink she pushed away back towards her like you might as well drink this then]

Rio: [cheers him again like that’s the vibe]

Buster: [take a drink and a sec because that was a lot of info to take in]

Rio: [raising our brows like I know ‘so many people I thought it was I need to apologise to now’ like adding this to the to-do-when-home list]

Buster: [‘no you don’t, you wouldn’t have suspected them for no reason’ like they must’ve been doing some shady shit/not been very good friends etc to be on the list in the first place]

Rio: [‘it makes you a bit paranoid, obviously’ like idk, it’s not like you can rely on what you think, that’s sort of the point]

Buster: [‘Obviously, that doesn’t mean you didn’t have a point distrusting those specific people’ because he doesn’t actually think she’s lost her mind then or now]

Rio: [do a half smile at him ‘you’re cute, and I’m not having a breakdown so you don’t have to be nice’]

Buster: [‘I’m not being nice, your boyfriends have just given you such ridiculously low standards that you think I am’]

Rio: [shaking your head like not going to address that lol ‘nicer than you usually are, I meant’]

Buster: [‘I’m not having a breakdown either so you can keep your backhanded compliments’ more amused than annoyed though]

Rio: [‘I’m always nice’ like excuse you, this is normal for me, but we’re also amused]

Buster: [‘I’ll remind you you said always when we get back’ because being nice to Nancy this am will be a trial 😏]

Rio: [😬 ‘I might go hit the town instead’ like you’re right, that sounds awful]

Buster: [he’s clearly joking but telling her what shops to hit for his bday present she owes him]

Rio: [‘you can pay for the car I send it back in’ like okay but I am NOT coming back]

Buster: [just nod like okay cos you know he would]

Rio: [‘don’t let any of your friends take it when they head’]

Buster: [‘Don’t do yourself down’ like she’s dragging herself and her gifting for that to happen because none of his friends have any taste because rich people don’t lol]

Rio: [folding your arms like you’re fuming ‘because it’ll be a gift worth stealing, boy’]

Buster: [a look like not to them, girl, they only want flop things]

Rio: [‘I’m not just avoiding Nance’ like yeah, I’ve met them all]

Buster: [‘me either’ because agreed]

Rio: [‘you should go do something today that you actually want to too’ tilting your head to the side ‘go on, what do you want to do, anything on the table’]

Buster: [tell her about whatever plans you’ve already made whether that’s football or boxing or whatever because he’s that kind of person who is always busy with something 24\7 but adding ‘If anything was on the table, it goes without saying I’d leave London, I envy you that option’]

Rio: [‘Too bad we can’t swap that easily without notice’ because we’re not trying to rush home now ‘Christmas break before you know it though’]

Buster: [‘Coward’s way out’ are you trying to convince/comfort yourself or her or both of y’all there, boy, cos good luck lol ‘Yeah, blink and it’s your birthday instead of mine’ because they are pretty close together tbf]

Rio: [‘you’re always alright’ tapping your hand that’s holding your mug against his ‘be so busy studying this whole school year’ do a little smirk like oh you nerd ‘meanwhile I do have a party of my own to plan, yeah’]

Buster: [‘Not so busy I’ll forget to send your present, don’t worry’ returning the smirk ‘I’ve already decided what I’m buying you’ because of course he has]

Rio: [doing the thing where you’re mid-sip so all you can do is widen your eyes dramatically and put said drink down with as much haste ‘you have to let me go then or you’ll be getting your present on my birthday instead’ as if he’s distracting you to cheat at this non-competition]

Buster: [‘I wouldn’t open it until Christmas’ like nice try but I simply refuse to steal your bday thunder]

Rio: [‘wrong twin, right?’ like I’m catching on]

Buster: [‘Exactly’ because yep Nancy so would and we all know it]

Rio: [‘the obligatory invite you’d both have to have is a good advert for not having a party’ lumping you in like it’s not blatant you’d be absolutely fine having him there lol]

Buster: [‘Granted, it’s too late to accuse her of stalking you, but there’s plenty of other plausible reasons to fall out with her, and time to’ acting like it’s so bants and oh Nancy vibes but he’s fuming at her for the James stuff so]

Rio: [can definitely tell it’s more deep than her just generally being a messy nuisance but to push looks like you just want gossip and we don’t want that being assumed, just nodding and mm-ing like so true ‘no chance of her following you to whatever uni you end up getting into’ all the shade, soz girl]

Buster: [‘Unless she played the disability card for a pity place’ because they sure did treat dyslexia like one when I went to uni and you definitely would play on it if you did wanna go, thankfully she does not ‘fortunately, there’s bound to be a bare minimum required even of those students that’d put her off’ because we know what you’re like, sis, all the deserved shade]

Rio: [‘Whatever one [reel off her besties names, not caring if they’re right or just posh girl stereotypes] pick, is more likely’ we know you’ve peaked and would wanna try and ride that wave as long as you could but you’re defs 1st year dropout vibes, as if I can talk lmao ‘of course you know exactly what you want already’ because the least surprising thing]

Buster: [Defs amused at the posh girl stereotype names that are too accurate for these gals ‘Come on, what’s the most likely is they’ll hate her long before then’ because tea, you’ll never stay friends with them for that length of time, you’ve blatantly got a new bestie every 5 secs hun ‘I always have, you know that about me’ we’ll all try not to get into that double meaning even though he’s obvs giving EYE CONTACT as he says it]

Rio: [when you can’t be blushing about University plans so you just have to act like you’re holding your tongue sassing Nancy any harder and that has you flustered, not believable but there we go, you tried ‘if you’d changed that much…’ because you’ve always been that boy ‘I know what I want, just not entirely sure Uni needs to or does feature in that’ because obviously we have our plans that can be put into motion on our bday]

Buster: [‘I’m glad you haven’t changed that much yourself’ because she’s that bitch too it’s why y’all end up being a power couple like his parents are despite doing it very differently ‘sitting here and holding my tongue isn’t who I am or ever have much chance of becoming’ because he wouldn’t be about it if you were a flop and he’d have to let you know, soz]

Rio: [‘Who would I change for?’ For the bants of I’m incredible and everyone loves me so much, gesturing at ourselves like hello; but there’s also the unspoken realness of that being a necessity for him and us being aware of that ‘you can think and say whatever you want but money talks louder, babe’]

Buster: [do a final cheers before you finish this coffee because she is incredible and money does talk she’s not wrong there either]

Rio: [cheers him back and after a beat ‘when do you have to go [boxing/football/whatever]?’ casually like when are you leaving but not at all]

Buster: [shoutout to the Rolex he gives her because he’s checking it rn and obvs answering her, I doubt he has to rush off because he never has to rush anywhere he’s always sorted schedule wise]

Rio: [‘point me in the right direction then?’ gesturing to the door like show me where you shop for my gifting trip]

Buster: [there is no need or excuse for this boy to literally get up and take her to these shops himself but we all know that’s what’s happening, not at all casually expecting her to follow him like come on]

Rio: [obviously we are like lead the way]

Buster: [we’re doing it, you both need the distraction and deserve a nice time]

Rio: [we’re not sorry, you can only bop in an entirely platonic way around these shops]

Buster: [I’m not sorry that I’m imagining a really cute and cliche shopping montage rn]

Rio: [y’all would be having a lovely time, no reason not to and no one to stop you, even if Nancy was awake by now, she would be annoying the people still hanging around the baze gaff]

Buster: [Just his sporty boy plans that he’ll be gutted to have to leave for at some point too soon]

Rio: [we’re not at all devvo’d, nope]

Buster: [Likewise, but you can’t cancel your plans and admit you wanna stay, sir, y’all aren’t there yet]

Rio: [and you can’t invite yourself so you stay shopping and act like you have no interest in anything otherwise]

Buster: [Hang in there lads, we’ve gotta cockblock you for now but it will soon be Christmas and we’ll get the moments going again lol]

Rio: [for now, a match time or thereabouts later]

Rio: Did you win?

Buster: I don’t lose

Buster: Did you buy me [a pisstake on whatever perfume she had to buy Nancy]?

Rio: Do you think I was doing my best work there?

Buster: You were doing what you were told, as per, best behaviour

Rio: She knows what she wants, I suppose

Buster: It’s a shame you didn't decide to surprise her with something she wouldn’t 

Rio: A shame for you

Buster: Us both, it’d be as good for you in the long run

Rio: How so?

Buster: You don’t need me to tell you you’d be better off on her bad side than you would as her best friend

Rio: I’m not her best friend, or going to be

Buster: I know that, but you could do more to make it obvious how much you’d prefer not to be, she’ll always need the clues

Rio: I could start a bitch fight before catching my flight

Rio: bets on one already going on in your house or in the DMs if they pissed off before she awoke

Buster: I can’t condone it, your hair would make you a really easy target 

Buster: and I’m definitely not going to bet against anything like that happening

Rio: Put it up and take out the hoops before, obviously

Rio: Not my first rodeo

Buster: Still

Rio: I don’t know what she did

Rio: but I can tell it’s bad and I have no reason to trust her or disbelieve you

Buster: It isn’t her first rodeo either, you wouldn’t need the 3 guesses if I was offering them to you

Rio: What are you going to do?

Rio: Genuine question not sarcasm

Buster: I did what I had to do last night 

Rio: From now then, it’ll get better?

Rio: for you, I’m obviously not holding my breath for her taking note or anything

Buster: There’s no other option, I’m certainly not letting it get any worse  

Rio: Good, you’re taking charge

Rio: there’s nothing else you can do, everyone else will do what they will, your sister included

Buster: The same will be true for yours, when you tell her about Liam, all you can do is give her the facts, she’ll do whatever she wants with them 

Rio: Yeah, true

Rio: I guess I’m just more concerned with her reaction, as she isn’t in my shit list right now

Buster: Her reaction and the consequences of what she decides to do, yeah 

Rio: I know what will happen, or what won’t

Buster: Yeah, anything else he’s made you doubt over the years, there’s none about how Edie will take this, she’s like your mum, giving people second chances long after everyone else has lost count of the actual number

Rio: You say that like it’s a bad thing

Rio: I’m not worried about the chance she’ll give him, it’ll be the chance I don’t get

Buster: It is, if you don’t know when to stop, or like you said, the wrong people are given the chances 

Rio: You might feel different when it comes to the actual practicalities of cutting your sister off

Rio: you haven’t had anyone in your life like that before, we all have

Buster: I’m not suggesting it’s even close to a similar situation, your sister is the one about to get her weakness exploited, mine is the type to exploit people

Rio: You don’t know that, they’re clearly fine, better than fine and most couples I know

Buster: They’re not fine, he’s been keeping something huge from her for their entire relationship, involving you her sister

Rio: And you’ve already pointed out she isn’t going to see it as huge

Buster: You do though

Rio: Did, maybe

Rio: I’ll be fine

Buster: Again, fine isn’t the word

Rio: Look, forget it, I shouldn’t have bothered you with it

Rio: I’m just on a comedown 

Buster: Forget trying to fob me off

Rio: I forgot how annoying you are

Buster: Because I’m the one in the wrong here, sure

Rio: Wait, am I in the wrong or a massive victim

Buster: That depends what your next move is

Rio: 🙄

Buster: And it’s me being annoying

Rio: Like you’ve never done anything you regret at 14, now even

Rio: Doesn’t he deserve a chance to explain himself?

Buster: He isn’t the victim, he’s the perpetrator 

Rio: I’m not scared anymore

Buster: The point is, you were

Buster: he did that, there’s no excuse

Rio: an apology doesn’t count for anything, no

Buster: Exactly

Rio: I’ll think about it when I have to, right now I can be distracted

Buster: Don’t let me stop you then

Rio: Okay

Buster: Okay

Rio: You could at least say bye, be polite

Buster: I could, but if I did you’d have no opportunities left to point out my character flaws

Rio: Hardly

Buster: As far as seeking distractions go, you could do a lot better, I already agreed

Rio: I don’t need pointers

Buster: You don’t need a polite goodbye

Rio: I’ll survive without one, yeah

Buster: Good

Rio: What are you mad at me for

Buster: Why aren’t you mad at him?

Rio: I’m not not but it makes sense

Rio: it’s better it was Liam than some random who wasn’t grieving and was just creepy

Buster: That creepy random wouldn’t be in your life forever, at least

Rio: Could be

Buster: Maybe, but I wouldn’t have to ask myself if I have enough willpower to avoid hitting him and ruining Christmas

Rio: Of course you do

Buster: Okay, well if I want to exercise it or I’d rather beat the shit out of him

Rio: You know you can’t, it’s already a fucking mess of a situation

Buster: I know

Rio: You can ignore him, it’s not like he’s super social

Buster: I will

Rio: Thanks

Rio: I’m sorry

Buster: You have nothing to be sorry about or thank me for

Rio: I don’t want to ruin anyone’s Christmas

Buster: It isn’t you

Rio: I told you, you’d have no idea otherwise

Buster: I’m not mad you told me, only that there isn’t more I can do

Rio: Telling you wasn’t terrible, that was something

Rio: it was a relief

Buster: Of course, bottling shit up is just going to make you feel worse

Rio: It would’ve been worse telling anyone when I had no clue who it was and it was happening all the time

Rio: it would’ve just freaked everyone out

Buster: I understand why you didn’t

Rio: You wouldn’t of either, right

Buster: No, I think you did the right thing

Rio: So I do owe you a thank you

Buster: You wish, that way I won’t be able to refuse whatever present you’re shopping for as easily

Rio: Why would you refuse, it’s going to be the best present you got

Rio: beside whatever your parents got you, I’m not making those promises

Buster: Good save

Rio: It was your 18th, if they didn’t go hard that’d be terrible parenting

Buster: It’s a shame I won’t have to let them know you think they’re bad parents

Rio: Wait ‘til I’m out the country, tah

Buster: You’re desperate to owe me something, now it’s a favour

Rio: Well it’s not as if you’re going to do a secret for a secret

Buster: Wrong twin

Buster: she’d happily distract you with her own drama if you weren’t avoiding her

Rio: I have plans now

Rio: that don’t involve an IV and a facial

Buster: When’s your flight?

Rio: Not ‘til tonight, so I can have dinner at [a fancy restaurant]

Buster: You’ll like [a different fancy restaurant] more

Rio: Yeah?

Rio: I’ll let them know

Buster: Trust me

Rio: Blame your friend for not picking it first

Buster: I told you none of them have good taste

Rio: I wasn’t aware that extended to actual food

Buster: Why wouldn’t it?

Rio: It’s a very specific diss

Rio: I’ll see what he orders

Buster: I should’ve said none of them make good decisions instead, I thought you knew what I meant

Rio: The dig @ me wasn’t subtle but I was choosing to ignore it

Buster: It isn’t a dig at you 

Rio: 😏 mhmm

Buster: One of my friends going out with you isn’t a wise move on their part, that’s all 

Rio: It’s dinner

Buster: The plans themselves are irrelevant, except for how well they prove my point

Rio: Why, like I’m going to eat alone

Buster: You have other options 

Rio: Not on short notice, I know none of them have any other plans today

Buster: You also know I’d go with you 

Rio: I already took up too much of your time today

Buster: No you didn’t 

Rio: Oh, well

Rio: I don’t want a pity hangout though, that’s never the mood

Buster: Come on, you know me better than that

Rio: Yeah, okay, but no one else knows about the stalking thing so 

Rio: they can’t talk to me about it

Buster: We don’t have to talk about it either 

Rio: I know you better than that, boy

Buster: You clearly don’t, babe

Rio: A bit 🤏

Buster: You should know better than to underestimate me

Rio: If anything, it’s an overestimation, reckoning you HAVE to tell me what to do

Buster: You did the right thing last time, you will this time too 

Rio: I appreciate the faith

Buster: I know you well enough 

Rio: You’ve been annoyed by more annoying family members recently, you don’t need to be mad at me too

Buster: Unless you stand me up and I have to eat alone 

Rio: Why would I do that

Buster: You won’t, so I won’t be mad at you

Rio: Thank God, I don’t need that, my boyfriend already will be

Buster: You need [whatever fancy af cocktail is a special at this restaurant]

Rio: I definitely do

Buster: Meet me at [a time]

Rio: Okay

Buster: It’ll give you time to cancel on [the name of whatever friend he knows it is], listening to his sob story included

Rio: It’s so not that deep, if he tries it… 🙄

Buster: I’ll order you a double, don’t worry

Rio: So thoughtful

Buster: You’re welcome 

Rio: Are you going to get a [whatever his favourite drink is]

Buster: I’ll join you in [the cocktail because he’s a secure boy]

Rio: Are the prices that excessive we’ll have to share 🤔

Buster: My parents taught me sufficient manners to foot the bill

Rio: I never actually said they were bad parents, FYI

Buster: I remember, barely a threat never mind a promise

Rio: And I only asked you to be polite

Buster: And I listened, so don’t start an argument with me about paying your way

Rio: You’ll only want to remind me you can afford it, so I won’t

Buster: It isn’t a reminder either of us need

Rio: I paid for my flights and the presents, that’s enough willing shown, anyone would agree

Buster: More than 

Rio: For your sister, perhaps

Buster: For her, definitely 

Rio: as she didn’t even have to drunkenly listen to my problems as she was too busy creating her own, yeah

Buster: As well as a headache for me

Rio: It’s really unfortunate you’re twins

Rio: it’s the same with Janis and Grace, they’re the least alike

Buster: We could have plenty in common, it’s her priorities which are unfortunate

Rio: I don’t think you’re anything alike

Buster: I think that’s the most genuine compliment you’ve ever given me 

Rio: You’re only 18 once, like

Buster: Don’t remind me, you mentioned having regrets before, that party has earned a place on my list

Rio: It probably never lives up to the hype, it’s truthful, far as consolation goes

Buster: It easily would’ve if I’d been in charge of it

Rio: It’s just a number then

Rio: 19 is the new 

Buster: Was it your boyfriend who said age is just a number?

Rio: You’re SO funny 😏

Buster: It’s a fair question

Rio: You’re thinking of the last one, he’s only 22

Buster: Are you sure? He looks 32

Rio: You’re being rude again 👌

Buster: Hardly

Rio: Why are we talking about him again

Buster: We’re not

Rio: Good save

Buster: I’m just wondering which you believe, that we’re only 18 once or it’s a number

Rio: Hmm 🤔

Rio: it’s less about the day, more about the 364 you have until you’re 19, that’s what I think

Buster: Great save

Rio: 🙇🏽‍♀️

Rio: What do you think?

Buster: I agree

Rio: You can still hold your shitty party against Nance, not that old you have to be that mature

Buster: She wishes what I had to hold against her was that petty

Rio: No doubt…

Rio: blackmailed into better behaviour is better than nothing

Buster: With her, we have very little choice but to take what we can get

Rio: Yeah

Rio: I’d hate to think of my brothers and sisters saying shit like that about me

Buster: It isn’t something you have to think about because it isn’t something your siblings would say about you

Rio: 🤞

Rio: That would change if I told Edie, she doesn’t hold back

Buster: Neither should you, how you felt is important and she needs to hear it

Rio: There are more important things

Buster: You matter too, Rio

Rio: I want to be in Libi’s life, what if she doesn’t want me to be if I say any of this

Buster: She wouldn’t cut you out, you’re family, and you haven’t done anything but what’s best for her and Libi

Buster: you kept this a secret for her own good and if you tell her it’s still with protecting them in mind, she’ll recognise that, she’s not an idiot

Rio: She’s not

Rio: Anyway, this is breaking the rules, I’m not thinking about it ‘til I get back to Dublin

Buster: That’s the last time I’ll bring it up, I swear

Rio: I’ll make you pinky promise

Buster: Not if I make you forget about all of this first

Rio: You think you can

Buster: I know I can

Rio: I’m not going to refuse that

Buster: Why would you?

Rio: I’m sure we could think of plenty of reasons if we bothered

Buster: I’m too busy thinking of ways to salvage this trip for you

Rio: We can make attempts at salvaging for you too

Rio: even if I have to point out it’s a taller order

Buster: I’m fine

Rio: Sure but fine is not fine

Buster: Okay, I’m great

Rio: Because I really believe you now 🙃

Buster: I don’t want a pity dinner any more than you did

Rio: Not what I was suggesting, because duh

Buster: What are you suggesting [a really basic touristy thing purely for the pisstake]?

Rio: 😑

Rio: Yes, I’m going to make you [another super touristy moment] with me and it’ll serve you right

Buster: I’ll look out for when you tie your hair back and take your earrings off

Rio: You should

Rio: can’t say you haven’t been warned

Buster: You can’t either, I told you earlier I don’t lose

Rio: Yet

Buster: Ever

Rio: Never know if we don’t try, can’t claim a win when you forfeit 

Buster: I’m not going to forfeit, bring it on

Rio: At [the time you’re meant to meet] 😘

Buster: [Give her the deets of the car you’ve already booked and sorted to collect her etc because he’s just that bitch and always organised af]

Rio: Alright, you’re off to a good start 

Buster: If you’d like something that isn’t a mermaid tail to wear to [this restaurant] Nance has [whatever it’s called when you can just come and shop like on an account idk I’m not posh] at [and a list of whatever shops she does, they can’t all entirely suck]

Rio: I couldn’t possibly do that

Buster: I dare you

Rio: Seriously

Buster: When am I not serious?

Rio: She’ll notice

Buster: It’s Nancy

Rio: 😏

Rio: but really, I can buy my own outfit

Buster: If you want to forfeit the dare, yeah

Rio: I’m going to be late then

Buster: You’re going to be worth the wait though

Rio: Rude you don’t trust my own budget for that to be true

Buster: Don’t act like it isn’t more fun to get dressed at her expense

Rio: I wouldn’t say that

Buster: What would you say?

Rio: I might ask a question

Buster: Yeah?

Rio: Well, I could ask for your opinions, what you want me to wear, I might not take them into consideration

Buster: I’m rarely wrong, you’ll want to take that into consideration

Rio: I’ve never been wrong about an outfit

Buster: [obvs mention an ootd from when she was a lil kid like what about that one lol even though it was probably still a slay, gotta just remind her that he remembers things]

Rio: 😳 Shut up, I’ve always been cute

Buster: I wasn’t disputing how cute you were

Rio: You wouldn’t want to ruin your claim to rarely wrong

Buster: No, I wouldn’t

Rio: So, what do you like

Buster: Don’t you want to guess?

Rio: I could

Buster: So, what do I like?

Rio: Can’t you wait and see?

Buster: Can’t you remember how impatient I am?

Rio: That’s half the fun

Buster: You’re right, we’re having half as much fun as we could be 

Rio: There’s always time for more fun

Buster: Wait and see

Buster: [10000% looking online at fits and then calling up the store and getting the poor girl who works there to give Rio said fits to try on, so casually, just dressing your cousin for a date nbd]

Rio: [sending you selfies of these options, obviously]

Buster: [Sending her more options to keep this try on sesh going like see how much fun this is because I cannot trust him to comment on any of those selfies]

Rio: Okay, I’ll really be late if you don’t stop

Rio: I already don’t know what to pick

Buster: [pick one for her, again so casually]

Rio: I see you

Buster: Do you?

Rio: Showing you have better taste than your friends

Buster: I already proved that with the outfit I threw on to grab coffee

Rio: You dress well, it’d be stupid to suggest otherwise

Buster: You don’t need much help yourself

Rio: I’m not going to forfeit a dare to argue

Buster: Are you going to give me a dare to do?

Rio: If you wanna play

Buster: Of course

Rio: Then I’ll think of a good one

Buster: I’m sure it’ll be worth the wait too

Rio: Who am I

Buster: Who I’m choosing to spend the evening with 

Rio: Despite knowing that present competition is non-existent, still take it

Buster: It’d be stupid to suggest there’s ever any

Rio: Stupid is one of the last things I’d bother to call you

Rio: skirting ‘round the issue is one thing but barefaced lies

Buster: We’ve argued plenty of times when there isn’t a dare at stake, I’ve definitely heard you call me most things you’d feel are a more appropriate fit for who I am

Rio: Well now we know who has the best imagination if you honestly think ‘most’ is fitting

Buster: Well, poor kids need better imaginations than rich ones

Buster: and we aren’t trading one of your secrets for one of mine, so

Rio: 😏 I imagine that stings more when the target is actually ‘poor’, give you the benefit of the doubt there

[mixxiw]

this pre wedding party is literally all the things that make me uncomfortable at once💀

[wardenparker]

max phillips, halloween costume, strip club. i just feel like that all fits together…nicely 😏

Max Phillips x female reader Blood sucking Bastards Rated: M for flirting and sexual themes Word Count: 1,047 Co-written with @steeevienicks

She was beautiful, and as you sipped your fruity cocktail you decided then and there that you’d request a dance from her.  It was Halloween and the club was busy, but you were confident you’d have time with this beautiful dancer.  

“She’s coming.” Your friend swatted at your shoulder, so you put on your best smile in an attempt to get her attention.  

“Miss, I--" before you could get the words out, a man dressed in a cheap Dracula costume steps in front of her, laying his charm on thick. 

“How you doin’ tonight, hot stuff?” Max throws the dancer a wink, loving the freedom of what he considers the most pleasurable holiday of the year. Even when he was human he would use it as an excuse to get the hottest girl at the party out of her skin-tight costume. Now that he’s immortal? Now he can smell the pheromones coming off of all these tipsy, horny humans like a buffet for him to just pick off of. He turns and clicks his tongue in your direction, giving you a long up-and-down to take in the utter lack of coverage that your Wonder Woman costume affords. “Actually,” he grins. The change in your scent when he checks you out is unmistakable, tugging on him like a needy lover. He loves needy lovers. They always taste the sweetest. “How are you tonight, sweet thing?”

You look this man up and down, nose wrinkling at how he oozes charm and in your experience that has never been a good thing, no matter how promising it seemed at the time.  “I was doing great until you fucked that up for me.” You glanced over your shoulder at the dancer that was now preoccupied with a broad man in the booth next to the ones your friends had claimed. “You can make it up to me with a drink.” It’s the least he could do since he had interrupted and all things considered you were still in a good mood, so why not have some fun?  “The most expensive one on the menu, thanks.” You give a cheeky grin that Max loves and wave him to the bar with you.  “So what are you supposed to be anyway? A knock off Dracula?” You noticed the large fangs in his mouth and wondered how he was speaking so clearly with the plastic attached to his canines. 

“Knock off?” Max tuts, raising one eyebrow at you as he flags down the bartender. He doesn’t mind buying you a drink - especially not since he’ll be able to taste all that delicious booze in your blood once he sinks his teeth into you later. “Haven’t you ever been face-to-face with the things that go bump in the night before?” He nudges your hip at the bar with his own and flashes another confident grin. “We’re a hell of a lot of fun, ya know.”

“Oh I’m well aware,” You chuckle and tell the bartender what you’d like - sex on the beach with extra orange slices and a dash more pineapple than orange juice.  “So did you really want a dance or was that your way of getting my attention?” You ask as your drink is carefully slid over to you, only slightly sloshing over the glass.  Max hands the bartender a large bill and places the change in the tip jar.  This man hasn’t taken his eyes off you the entire time you’ve been next to him, and it makes your heart pound wildly beneath the tight leather Wonder Woman corset.  This man seemed like fun and danger and maybe a little regret, but you were into it. 

“Do you want it to be my way of getting your attention?” The truth is that Max hadn’t come into this place giving half a damn who he drained, but you caught his eye. That childhood crush on Lynda Carter apparently hadn’t worn off but you’re filling out that costume in all the right ways so that he can barely take his eyes off you to make sure none of the vamps that came with him tonight are going to fight him to stake a claim of your pretty little veins. When you roll your eyes at him slightly he chuckles, and he can feel the heat rolling off you in waves. “Honest truth, hot stuff? I’m gonna be real upset if you tell me you’re not into dudes.”

You burst into laughter at that and absentmindedly place a hand on his forearm.  “Well, I do love women but I’m ‘into dudes’ too, so I guess this is your lucky night.” You give him air quotes with two fingers of the hand holding your  drink.  You formally introduce yourself then, deciding that because he was honest and had agreed to buy you this insanely sweet drink that he deserved to know your name.  “Get me another one of these and I might use the lasso of truth on you.” You wink, feeling bold.  You weren’t intoxicated, but the alcohol that was in your system was helping you flirt with this weird, quirky, and downright delicious man.  

“I’m Max.” Emboldened, Max shifts a bit closer to you and lets his hand rest at the small of your back right above the swell of your ass, smirking when you lean into him a little as you sip your drink. “Count Max, obviously. They don’t give these teeth to just anybody.” Cute, funny, and tugging on something inside him that makes him swear that if he still had a heartbeat he’d be skipping some - it would be a shame to drain you in one go. Maybe he’ll just have a sip tonight…It’s been a while since he had a fresh blood supply that he actually liked flirting with.

“Well, Count Max, I suppose the next drink is on me.” You grin before tugging your hair over one shoulder and exposing your neck, not knowing what that looked like to him.  “What’s your poison?” You bat your eyelashes at him, deciding that you’d like to spend the rest of the evening with him.  

“Oh, sweet thing.” Max growls slightly, barely managing to keep the sound in check when you expose your neck to him. “All I want tonight is you.”

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[gardenerian]

Mashup! 78 and 85

💜💜💜

i've made it a personal challenge to not make all of these too soft and sappy - so we're about to get weird. presenting: money issues + holidays (+ a trope i added whoops)

ian and mickey are roommates 👀 and the holidays are approaching. it's the first christmas since ian moved out of the gallagher house and he wants to go all out for his siblings - host a big dinner, elaborate gifts, the works.

mickey kinda doesn't give a shit... he lets ian take over the damn apartment and doesn't even roll his eyes that much. but ian wants mickey to be part of it all, so he hangs out while ian bakes cookies and decorates. maybe he likes how excited ian gets. and he tries not to choke on his own tongue when ian hangs up mistletoe.

now, ian does all of this decorating immediately after thanksgiving - and he quickly runs out of cash. between rent, tuition, and bills, his budget doesn't quite stretch to the big dinner or elaborate gifts. his credit card is taking a big hit, and he needs some extra cash.

it's a little too late to find another job, so ian decides to... well. ian decides to make some tastefully done holiday themed... art? he calls it art. mickey calls it pictures of his roommate that he's kind of in love with wearing tiny red shorts and a santa hat 😡 it's weirdly hot to see, but also incredibly annoying to know that old randos on the internet will be getting these pictures in their inboxes.

mickey can't stand ian parading around in these goofy little outfits - the elf costume is really too far - so he starts hiding cash for ian to find. in pants pockets, in drawers, maybe he buys some of the ingredients for ian's big dinner and nonchalantly hides them in the pantry.

it takes ian an embarrassingly long time to catch on. he hasn't even made any money from these photos yet and suddenly he's flush with cash? when he catches mickey sneaking peppermint extract into the pantry, it all makes sense. he's an idiot, mickey's an idiot.

he grabs mickey by the shoulder and whirls him around, and mickey is just 😳😳😳😳 at getting caught.

ian gets all close and says "😏 what're you doin?"

"putting away some groceries, damn, that okay with you?"

"oh yeah? you bought this peppermint for yourself? and all the cinnamon and cloves? you gonna put that on your pizza bagels, mick?"

"maybe i will. you don't know my life, leave me alone."

ian moves impossibly closer. "mickey. i know what you're doing."

"look. i bought some shit, and if i have extra, you can use it for your weird christmas party."

"extra? mickey, christmas is in two weeks and none of this has been opened! and i suddenly have $200."

"i'm not sure what you think you're gettin' at."

"mick, come on. just tell me."

"tell you what? that you're bad at laundry and that's why you keep finding money in your pants?"

ian doesn't say anything, just raises an eyebrow, still smirking.

"fuck - fine. i hate those fucking shorts, i hate the fucking hat, i hate that some old fuck is probably gonna jerk off to those pictures before joining his family at christmas dinner. fuckin hate it."

"and why's that?"

"no, fuck you. why don't you tell me why you're smilin' like that, huh? why you put goddamn mistletoe in every doorway of this apartment?"

"because i want to kiss you."

and - okay. mickey wasn't expecting that. he thought this game would go on all night. "then do it, jesus, gallagher - "

and they're kissing all pressed up in the pantry and it smells like peppermint and spices and mickey reaches up and tugs that fucking hat off ian's head and pulls at his hair and and and

later they're in ian's bed, mickey's got the elf hat on. ian runs a hand up mickey's arm.

"you know, you could have just told me about the pictures. i haven't even sent them yet, i can just delete the account. i've been finding a lot of cash in my pockets lately, it's so weird. think i'll be okay."

mickey leans up and kisses him 😌 they host ian's ridiculous christmas dinner together, and ian gives mickey's money back. his siblings don't need elaborate gifts, just some time together 💕

[huntingingoodwill]

happy birthday !!!! idk if im early or late or on time so i hope you have a really good bday! treat yourself, because you deserve it! 🖤🖤 will you accept my jonathan crane and robert fischer headcanons as a bday present? 😢 (me asking this like i just got on my knee and asked for your hand)

dear jonny loves when he's the center of his darling's attention. i feel like if his darling upsets him or he's mad at her, she'd desperately do anything to make it up to him. she'd be groveling the whole time and feeling upset, and this little man...he'd be milking it the whole time. ya, he'd sit there pouting and being grumpy and looking away while darling continues to cover his face and his neck in kisses, but secretly he's literally dying. inside he's all like 🤯😝🤪😍😘😏🔥 if that makes sense. he'd give her the silent treatment and she'd just be so upset and eager to please him. he'd come home from work, and she'd immediately throw herself at him, hugging and kissing him, telling him she's so sorry. and silly little jon is just indifferent to it, even though he is literally EATING it up.

as for robert, i don't know why but i feel like him and his fiance would have like a private bachelor/bachelorette party with just the two of them. and this party, robert really lets loose because it's his girl, what is he if he's not open with her? he'd REALLYYYY go wild. he's be singing ABBA at the top of his lungs, dancing on tables, and even stripping (stripper robert in a firefighter costume is literally killing me right now im so sorry 😭) future mrs. fischer would just laugh hysterically and even throw her bra at him like people do at concerts. it definitely is one of the best nights of her life because shes never seen robbie act this way and frankly, she's fallen even more in love with him!

thats all i have for today </3 HAPPY BIRTHDAY AGAIN !!! i love birthdays, im so excited for yours! i hope you eat lots of cake and do everything your heart desires <3 much love !!!

-🦇

send me hcs :)))

rpat anon mon frère i love you!!!

thanks so much for the wishes and the hc 💕 ily and of course i’ll accept 🤧 i love your hcs please keep sendin them in. you always make my day :,)

jonathan being toxic + emotionally manipulative and robert being cute below the cut

absolutely. i mentioned something similar in a yan alphabet response (tumblr and its tags refuse to work, perhaps it’s lost to the world now. i mourn it.) jon's used to secretly pining and having his world revolve around darling so any reciprocation makes him want to scream. so he takes advantage, because he’s... well... a bad person! jon's really stubborn. he already puts on a fairly cold front but when he’s mad it’s brutal. silent treatment, a lot of brushing by darling or just watching them across the room, then looking away when they look back at him. he's mastered the icy, condescending look and it's an immediate indicator that something's wrong, and it makes darling's heart sink. he knows how to amp up the hurt and push the blame fully onto darling and make them feel sooo guilty. they'd try so hard to get back into his good books. puppy dog eyes, pouting, extra affection (tons of kisses, hugs, darling suddenly becomes extra clingy. very much tugging on his sleeve.), bringing him lunch- it makes him melt. he wants so badly to fall at their feet like YES IT'S OKAY I LOVE YOU 😭 but he makes them wait. it’s torturous. they'll hug him, burying their head in his chest, mumbling "i'msorryi'msorryi'msorry", clutching onto his sweater. nothing. for days. he may even slowly remove their arms from around his waist and leave. but one day he’ll very slowly hug them back. as a gift. darling's so relieved as he's finally not mad at them, and jon's even more relieved because though he loves the attention, he's been aching to reciprocate it. he's probably the type to lecture them after- "it's all for your own good" (condescending, as always). he explains while holding them, wiping away their tears. he's suddenly so gentle, so comforting, so kind. manipulative.

s t o p. that's so cute. i've always thought about what rob would be like at parties (i had an imagine planned where he's at a house party but i put it on hold. idk if anyone would want that?? lmao lmk ig) he's a little shy and acts serious (busy businessman things) - but i think he's got a bit of a silly sense of humour and can cut loose in the right setting- if his s.o. works with him they'd cajole him into going to the office christmas party and he'd just stand there like 🙃 with a little party hat on his head. downer. but in private!! him drunk with a wide smile and flushed pink cheeks. he'd totally wear his tie around his head as a headband, shirt unbuttoned. drunk businessman chic!!! he's my lil rockstar actually, and he'd do a disco medley for his number one fan. his voice cracking as he tries to reach the high notes in the bee gees songs>>> so many slurred lyrics, clumsy saturday night fever inspired dancing, and "you're so pretty." "no, you're pretty!" flying around all night. they'd rent a karaoke room, one of those bougie private ones with drinks, snacks, fancy mics and cool party lighting. and a great view of the city. stumbling home with each other, arms around each other's shoulders, singing and dancing in the street. couple of the century.

thank you so much rpat anon!! ily ily