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covetyou · 7 months

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is there any Santa/Cupid Joel lore you'd be willing to share?

it's a totally normal question i'm not unhealthily obsessed with him or anything

lore you say? I have baubles and stupid cupid lore. more in egg hunt at the end of March too.

word count: 722 warnings: sex toys, brotherly shenanigans, these two things are related but very much not in an incest way don't worry. summary: What started as a simple joke from the youngest Miller brother quickly turned into a... beloved brotherly tradition.

The first time he'd gotten one of those gifts it had been his birthday. He never got anything, from anyone, so when he opened his front door to see a present lying there with his name on it, he'd been wary. When he saw it was from Tommy, he was even more apprehensive. So, he did the only logical thing and left it in the garage until he could open it in a disposable coverall later that night, just in case.

Of course, he looked like a total dick stood in his garage in a coverall at midnight holding anal beads of all fucking things, staring at a chicken scratch of a note from his dearest fuckin' baby brother:

if you won't bring someone into your bedroom, maybe you gotta bring something. hbd brother.

Tommy may have been right, but Joel didn't think anal beads were that thing he was looking for. By the next afternoon, the beads were carefully hung from Tommy's rearview mirror.

And so began the long, tiring, tradition of gift giving and gift returning between the Miller brothers.

On Thanksgiving, Joel slipped Tommy a baggy of finger cots, giving him a heavy slap on the back and telling him he found his size. The next week, the tiny white condoms were neatly pulled over the ends of every single one of Joel's tools.

That Christmas Joel was the not-so-happy recipient of an edible chocolate Clone-a-Willy kit. He was almost tempted to try it out - to cast his cock in the tube just so he could take it out and look at it properly from every angle. He cast his middle finger instead, handing it to a gleeful Tommy on New Years Eve.

For Valentine's day, Joel damn near gave Tommy a heart attack, and ruined the end of what was, until that point, a very good date. He knew he should've kept it to the couch, but damn if his date didn't deserve the full Tommy Miller Experience. Apparently, that also included seeing the blow up sex doll tucked neatly into his bed. He never did hear back from her after that night.

Of course, what Joel didn't know is Tommy had stashed a pink heart shaped butt plug on his dresser, only noticing the thing weeks later when Sarah pointed it out before Joel could sweep it into a drawer and tell her to get going or she'd be late for school. Tommy groveled until Joel didn't quite want to kill him any more, and the butt plug lay forgotten in the bottom of his sock drawer.

Tommy's birthday brought him some vibrating nipple clamps - clamps that Joel never saw or heard about again, save for a thank you and a thumbs up from his brother one day on a job.

For his birthday that year, a full 365 days since this whole thing started, Joel received maybe the most baffling gift of all. A dildo for his balls. Apparently. Now, Joel wasn't a church going man - hadn't been since their parents had given up with it all when they were kids - but he couldn't help but think that maybe his brother needed Jesus.

This one, he was almost tempted to keep. Not that he had anyone to use it with, and it most definitely was not a solo use gift. He opened it, tried to figure it out, even watched the instructional video, before settling on sticking it on top of Tommy's Christmas tree at the end of the year.

But, when he pulled up outside Tommy's place on Christmas Eve it looked, and sounded, like he had company. Not one to cockblock his brother again (at least one of them was gettin' laid) Joel headed back home, toy hidden away in his Santa sack. It was still the right side of midnight when he drove down his street, noticing once again that house with the sparkling Christmas tree, totally bare of any decorations. One look to the back of his truck, ornaments from a house clearance still stashed in a box that he had yet to find a home for, and he made up his mind. Parking up and walking down the street, draped in red velvet with a bag filled with jangling plastic ornaments, he stepped up to your door...

#coveted fics #joel miller x reader #joel miller smut #never forget the balls #pedro pascal characters #joel miller fanfiction #coveted asks #fic: dress up joel

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nogodsbutrhea · 3 years

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I feel like its MY birthday 🤤😍

#jesus christ #can you just #idek!!#at this point we’re all too far gone!#rhea ripley #raquel gonzalez #hbd #wrestling #womens wrestling #wwe #monday night raw #nxt #demi bennett #i can feel my heartbeat in n my stomach #Rhea

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uayv · 6 years

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happy birthday to kun-ge 🌟

hey you, you shining star, you weirdo, you absolutely talented fool, happy birthday 💖

#nctinc #happykunday #kun #qian kun #nct kun #i almost coloured him yellow BUT IT REMINDED ME TOO MUCH OF MINION!KUN SO I COULDNT #ndksafjdl why did i get so text heavy with this????????#jesus joyce #hbd #gfx #*jfx #*joyce #jbd #im probably out rn but happy new year!!!#happy kuns year tbh letsgetit

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peaches-writes · 4 years

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giddy

description: seo changbin is too precious member: changbin genre: fluff, makeout with plot, established relationship au, implied idol au word count: 1.9k warning: explicit language, suggestive (duh) note: inspired by an old tweet which i think is the sweetest thing ever + hbd binnie i’m posting early bc i’m watching gose later lmao

“Twenty-two, huh?” Changbin muses after a long moment of silence between the two of you.

You hum in response, glancing over at him from your peripheral vision. “Do you want me to play the Taylor Swift song?” You proceed to tease, taking out your phone for the first time in a while. “There’s like, enough time for one last song.”

Your boyfriend shakes his head with an amused smile next to you, “No, thank you—”

But before he can even finish his sentence, you quickly interject, playing the song simultaneously. “Too late!” You exclaim, shaking your phone jokingly in front of him as he pretends to cover his ears and be annoyed. “Seo Changbin, feeling 22 yet, babe?”

Changbin chuckles against your teasings, leaning away from you. “Ah, stop!” He whines, making you laugh even harder.

You shake your phone around his ears a few more times before lowering the volume and putting your phone down next to his, letting the song play out in silence. “Even on your birthday, you’re still trying to be chic and cool, tsk.”

“You can’t really say anything bad since we’re dating.” He rolls his eyes, leaning over to you again, making you grin. “Your words don’t affect me!”

“I know which is slowly turning into a con in this relationship.” You tease, pinching his cheek much to his disapproval. “But, you know, even when you’re trying to act cool and failing miserably at it, I still like you.”

Instead of swatting your hand away like he would do if you were any of his other friends, he simply lets you have your fun with a defeated sigh.

And just then, both yours and Changbin’s phone alert and vibrate as soon as the time turns to midnight, the 10th day of August turning into the 11th. You turn both the alarms off, turning to your boyfriend who sits next to you on the balcony and giving him a nudge on your shoulder with your own afterward. “Happy birthday!” You greet him with an excited smile, knowing at any moment that the other boys would burst in the room with the cakes and party poppers.

And right on cue, they do the exact same thing, singing happy birthday to a surprised Changbin as they burst in the room with a loud thud and walk over to where the two of you are slowly. “Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you,” They sing, Felix holding the cake while Chan covers the candles away from the soft breeze of the night. “Happy birthday, our Binnie, happy birthday to you!”

You pick up your phones from the floor and move to Minho’s side when the boys are close enough, taking a video with Changbin’s phone and occasionally taking pictures as he silently makes a wish. After a moment, he then blows the candles, eliciting whistles, cheers, and off-tune party blower sounds from everyone in the room.

“Thank you so much for this.” Your boyfriend smiles at everyone appreciatively, unintentionally lingering over to you last.

“Yeah, we’ll have to take that after the photos so you don’t drop it.” Jisung jokes, earning him a careful slap from Changbin as he tries balancing the cake on top of its box. While he moves, everyone makes exaggerated reactions, joking about the one time he dropped his cake even to this day.

“Ya!” The birthday boy in question exclaims at hearing everyone react. “I won’t drop it, I swear.”

“Then let’s take a quick photo and be done with it!” Hyunjin dramatically exclaims, gesturing for everyone to huddle around Changbin while he takes out his Instax camera. On your opposite side, you see Jeongin turn the balcony lights on for better lighting just as Hyunjin begins a count down for a picture.

“One, two, three! Okay, happy birthday Seo Changbin!” Chan exclaims after. You quickly finish taking photos with both the Instax and practically everybody’s phones, slyly taking the cake from Changbin’s hands right after and passing it to Minho.

“Thank Jesus Changbin’s not dropping the cake so far.” Seungmin comments.

“Should we go to the kitchen and eat the cake?” Minho asks, eyeing the cake hungrily as usual. At this question, everyone turns to Changbin.

“You guys go ahead,” Changbin answers coolly. “Y/N and I will be right there.”

“Eh, what are you guys going to do?” Jisung teases, feigning a skeptical expression.

Jeongin nods along to this, albeit innocently. “If you don’t catch up, Minho and Jisung are going to eat everything!”

You look expectantly at Changbin as well, contemplating on why you need to stay behind for a little longer, especially since you’ve been together for the past hour.

“I just need to give them something.” Changbin answers, earning a few ‘ooh’s and ‘really’s from the boys. “Not like that, you idiots, jeez.”

Turning to Chan, he narrows his eyes as well but lets it go anyway, “Come on, let’s just leave them alone, it’s Changbin’s birthday, anyway.” He then turns to the two of you. “Just go out and eat with us, okay? We made a whole program and everything.”

With that, the boys hesitantly begin to leave, greeting Changbin one last ‘happy birthday’ before proceeding outside. Before they leave, you even hear Minho say, “Be quick about it or I’m eating the whole cake!”

“You wouldn’t dare!” Changbin yells back before Jeongin could close the door behind him, leaving the two of you alone again. He sighs, though he knows that Minho or Jisung wouldn’t actually do it, then turns to you, his expression softening.

“So?” You return his gaze, sitting down on the ground again when he does so. You place your phones back on the side, looking up expectantly at him. “What are you giving me?”

“I just said that so they can leave us alone,” He confesses honestly with a sheepish smile. “What are you giving me?”

You roll your eyes, equally as playful. “Who said I bought you something?”

He pouts, pulling his knees to his chest and pretending to sulk. “Don’t pretend, I already saw the wrapped box in your backpack.” He mumbles under his breath, making you laugh.

Though it’s always fun to tease him especially now that you’ve been dating for 3 months, you easily give in, pulling out your gift from your backpack. “If you already saw it, you should’ve took it when I came in, then.” You then hand it over to him, catching the way his eyes widen and his pout turn into a big grin that makes you chuckle. “But here you go.”

“Can I—?” He shakes the box in his hands and looks up at you with the biggest puppy eyes he can muster. Before he can even finish his sentence, you nod in approval.

In no time, he’s opening the box and taking out the necklace he’s been eyeing for months, gasping even just at the first glance and smiling all the way through that your own mouth already hurts from smiling so wide because of him. “You got me the necklace we saw on our last date?” He exclaims, recalling the time you went to Hongdae and saw the cross necklace he now holds in his hands.

You nod at this, taking out the matching one from inside your hoodie. “I bought the matching one too.” He looks up at you with your words, eyes growing bigger in surprise. “The shop owner somehow recognized me and asked if we changed our mind about it.”

“Wasn’t this expensive?”

You shrug at this question, “I may or may not have successfully got a little discount...because I told them that it’s your first birthday with us as significant others...”

He laughs, remembering that you previously didn’t like other couples doing the exact same thing. “Look at you, breaking your rules for me.” He jokes, making you roll your eyes.

You then quietly watch Changbin carefully wear the necklace around his neck, patting it gently onto the material of his shirt after, as if it’s the most precious thing in the world. “Thank you.” He smiles at you, more softly now. He then leans over, scooping you in his arms and pulling you to straddle his lap in a hug. “Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

“Anything for you, idiot.” You hug him back, your hands going over his neck and your chin resting briefly on his shoulder before you pulled your face away to look at him properly. “Happy birthday, Binnie.”

You then lean closer, capturing his lips on yours. Unlike on a regular day, you lead the kiss this time, running your hands through his hair and initiating another kiss whenever he pulls away to catch his breath. In response, you feel Changbin tightening his grip on your sides, pushing you closer to him and gathering your hoodie in his fists with a low grunt.

You smile into his lips, gaining enough confidence to coax his lips into parting for you. When you’ve successfully moved your tongue over to his mouth, he suddenly (and rather reluctantly) leans away, biting down on his swollen lips as he holds back a smile.

“What?” You smile nervously, tilting your head to the side when he leans back against the railings of the balcony. You poke on his lip, shifting on his lap. “What’s gotten you so giggly? Hm?”

Changbin looks up from the pocket of your hoodie to your eyes, his cheeks immediately flaming red that he instinctively covers with a laugh that confuses you even more. “It’s just—” He says in between his shy laughs, lazily pulling you closer to him by the pocket of your hoodie.

“What?!” You ask again in a slightly more demanding tone as you hesitantly laugh alone, punching him lightly on his chest. “You weirdo.”

Changbin forces himself to stop laughing, sitting up better now and briefly kissing you again, sliding his tongue in your mouth at the first opportunity. When he abruptly pulls away again, you pout, your hands rubbing the nape of his neck. “It’s just that...” He tries again, chuckling a few more times. “Making out with you is making me feel so light and giddy.”

You let out a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding, laughing more wholeheartedly now. “Really?” You kiss him again, making sure to move lower to his jaw and neck this time. “Such a softie.”

You lift your head back up to kiss him again by his lips, briefly getting caught off guard when he turns his excitement into confidence of taking the lead. He kisses you harder now, moving all the way down to your neck, giggling again in between grazing his teeth on your skin when he sees your necklace the second time and suddenly becoming hyper aware of his own.

“I love you.” He mumbles against your collarbones, toying with the necklace right next to his lips. “I love you so much.”

You quickly melt, both at his words and under his touch. “I love you too.”

But the moment’s suddenly cut off by Chan texting the two of you, quickly reporting that ‘Jesus is watching’ and that Minho’s already trying to eat off of everyone’s share of cake.

“Should we go downstairs and eat?” You ask him, trying your best to stifle any other sounds when he seems to ignore you and instead just continues kissing down whatever skin he can expose from your hoodie. “Chan’s onto us.”

“No.” You hear him mumble with a grunt nonchalantly, silently cursing your loose hoodie for being too heavy for his lazy arms to lift. “Less talking, more kisses.”

You chuckle, the vibrations making Changbin bite onto your skin lightly. “Okay, sure, birthday boy.”

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boop-le-snoot · 4 years

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PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 9

As promised, two chapters in one day! HBD to this trash rabbit. I just get thirstier with age.

Rating: Explicit.

‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV. DRUG USE IN THIS CHAPTER. Just generally an uncomfortable vibe, thread carefully.

Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!

A/N: Ooh, boy. This is a whole mess. Angst. [insert drugs owl meme]. Steve doesn't pass the vibe check yet again, stupid old man. Bruce + Tony be like: I CAN'T GET NO SLEEP CUZ OF Y'ALL.

My beta, whomst I love more than cake - @miscmarvelwritings . She's so beautiful though. And so smart. Wow.

The strobe lights pulsated to the rhythm of the music, bodies swaying, gyrating to the tune. The club was banging this time of night, people were living it up like there was no tomorrow. For me, in the VIP zone it was quieter, calmer, but no less exciting. The atmosphere here was distinctly different from the one on the main floor.

It was hard to wallow in misery even if it only took me an hour to stop resisting the gratuitous amounts of white powder on the silver platters. "It's better when you're there to watch them, they'll do it anyway but at least you can know that they're getting the good stuff!" My idiot father proudly announced, looking at me snorting a line through a rolled up hundred dollar bill.

Whiskey and vodka wasn't doing it for me. It made me feel low and Dad, being Dad, of course noticed it and immediately called a guy who knew a guy and suddenly all of his friends and their baby-faced companions had white under their noses. Cash flew like autumn leaves.

As I went out to the main dance floor to get a closer look at Billie Eilish in all of her edgy, beautiful self, the drug hit me like an avalanche. No trace of the grogginess or the mortification that had hitched a ride on me from Stark tower. I danced and sang and saw dad smiling at me in approval, his equally high and important friends all wearing identically predatory smirks. They were good at spotting the obvious - beauty, talent, money. I had no qualms about the fact that dad was off bragging about my close relationship with Tony. If my father was feeling particularly bold, he'd be telling them he knew and encouraged it all along, his buddies pretending to believe the white lie in turn.

I had exchanged my pants and sneakers in favour of a skirt and fishnets with high heels combo, a decidedly inappropriate attire for a daughter having a family night with her father but he insisted I dress trendy. I loved my dad, I really did, and I knew he meant well - I'd definitely be out of place amongst these TVscreen worthy people in my jeans and sneakers but...Tony was one of those people, and he had never ever said anything bad about the way I dress. Even when I obviously and purposely put on obscene clothing just to get a rise out of someone.Tony just smiled and played along.

Tony Stark was the heartless asshole here? Really, press? Really, haters?

"Standing there, killing time, can't commit to anything but a crime..." I sang along quietly as I hurried back to the VIP area. My dad was standing up and so were a couple of his buddies. "Where's ya goin'?" I asked, taking a seat.

"Be right back baby girl, if you find better company then go on without us," Dad winked, throwing a totally nasty glance at one of the girls. She was not much older than me but her body was stick thin and bolt-ons and Botox were her two best friends. She gave me a dirty look and I returned it, extending a waiting hand towards my dad. He chuckled, depositing a neatly rolled stack of hundreds into my palm.

"Dad, I want a new purse," I whined, just a tad. Just to see the girl's eyes go wide with acrid envy. Dutifully, another couple of stacks landed in my palm without any objections and the company retreated towards the back door.

I sighed.

Fiddled with the straw of my drink a bit, contemplating my options. I could always ditch this party and go somewhere more active, somewhere with better music and kinder people.

"Ay, baby girl, you wanna party with us?" A tall, handsome man from dad's previous company approached me. "We'll have some fun." He maintained a respectful distance but the intentions were clear.

"Nope," I popped the sound, not even sparing him a glance. A few lines of cocaine stared at me from the table beckoning with a better high, a stronger sense of euphoria, confidence and energy to dance, to sing, to be happy. I picked up one of the discarded banknotes, quickly rolling it by a sheer force of habit and cleaning up the tray. One line.

"Holy shit, is that..."

Two lines.

"The fuck?!" I recognised that voice. I have been hearing it every day in the labs, I've been hearing it in my dreams.

Tony was gaping at me, in front of me.

"Hey, Tony. Fancy seeing you here." Any other time, I'd be cringing at my lame greeting but I was feeling way too good to care about trivial things like being clever or being appropriate.

"I was looking...for you," He slowly said, putting a single finger on the tray with the last line of coke and pulling it out of my reach.

"That's funny," I snorted, hastily wiping at my nose to cover the tracks of my very bad, very immoral, very illegal activities.

"It's not, Princess, it's not funny at all," He frowned. "C'mon, we're leaving." And extended his hand. I decided to follow along - there was nothing for me to do at this club anyway, the music was lame and the people were stuck-up.

"I look like a prostitute, Tony, I'll take the back door," I attempted to pull him towards the aforementioned but he didn't budge, just stared straight ahead and towed me along like he was wearing one of his iron suits under the stylish jeans and tee get-up.

He stopped in front of the exit, giving me a critical once over. Wiped my face, again, brushed my hair back. Gave me his shades - I dutifully put them on, figuring the manic look in my eyes was anything but attractive right now. "Jesus Christ, Princess," He sounded desperate. "You're beautiful, don't you fucking worry."

And we made our exit, arm in arm, me trying not to stumble in my high heels, Tony being my rock, my solid foundation. In other words, I was hanging onto him for dear life trying not to fall over and give a reason for a sneaking paparazzi to make a scandalous headline.

"You're doing great, Princess," Tony helped me into his Tesla, slamming the door behind me and hurrying towards the driver's door. I managed to unclasp and kick off my shoes, curling up comfortably into the passenger's seat.

I watched the man as he started the engine and watched him wrestle with whatever personal demons that tormented him as he peeled off and raced into the Friday night city.

"What in the everlasting fuck..." He started, stopping abruptly mid-sentence. "How did you even get in there?"

"I came with dad. He literally ditched me to fuck some whore, like, twenty minutes before you showed up." I shrugged, eyeing the modified panel of the car. It was very obviously Tony's own design. I wondered if he could introduce me to Elon Musk someday.

"What the fuck? And correct me if I didn't hear you clearly," Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. "Your father took it upon himself to drag you to a club, get you drunk, gave you cocaine and fucked off with some groupies?"

"Yah, that's about it. My dad is all about cocaine and whores, the more the better," I replied, leaning in to take a closer look at the car's panel. "Hey, could, like, introduce me to Elon Musk someday? That would be fuckin' awesome."

Tony went eerily quiet, I saw his knuckles on the steering wheel go white. Vague expletives were muttered under his breath. "I'm guessing you're good on sleep?" He finally asked through gritted teeth.

"Sleep? Don't know her," I laughed. "I wanna dance, Tony."

"Of course you do, Princess." His smile was tired and forced and full of pity. "You know, I don't think I'll be able to sleep now, either," He admitted, taking a sharp left. "How about we get some McDonald's and camp out in my lab?"

"Sure, whatever," Not like I had much choice in the matter. What I really craved was a good, long, hard fuck (by Tony himself preferably) but if science calls... I have no choice but to comply. "Get me two Big Macs," I demanded least he try to joke and get me a Happy Meal or some shit.

He did get me the food without any usual grumbling. I didn't like this Tony. Tired Tony, sad Tony, angry Tony. Wrong Tony.

"Huh?" He said and I realized I'd said the last part out loud.

"I don't like a sad Tony,” I said. "It's the wrong kind. Sassy, snarky and perpetually caffeinated Tony is the best Tony. The only proper kind, in fact." I stated with seriousness, shoes dangling from one hand and my McDonald's in the other. Man, I have been seeing more and more of this god-damned elevator recently.

"You're high as a kite, darling," He chuckled then, a real laugh.

"Who's high?" Bruce's voice came from the kitchen.

In a state of blind panic, I jumped behind Tony. "Not me."

Tony palmed his face.

Steve came over from the fridge, leaving the rummaging to Bucky. He took one look at me and suddenly I felt small, insignificant like an ant. I didn't like it much. "Holy hell, the fuck happened? Tony, explain." The Captain demanded, giving me the world's biggest stink eye.

"It's her piece of shit of a father, dragged her off to some night club and left her hanging with his buddies, fucking off god knows where. It's not her fault so lay the fuck off, Rogers, with your self-righteousness," Tony exploded all over Steve, the pent up frustration rearing it's ugly head.

I mustered enough courage to tiptoe around the dick measuring contest to sit at the counter. My appetite was gone and my burgers were turning colder and soggier with every passing second. Just like my life.

"Hey, Princess," Bruce's gentle voice halted my train of thought. He approached me carefully, ignoring the men behind me in favour of simply wrapping me up in a quiet, comfortable hug. "You feel alright? Want some water?"

"Nu-uh," I mumbled, unwilling to part ways with the warmth of this embrace.

"... Steve, I found her snorting miles of coke all by herself while an some jackass was waiting for her to be even more out of it. It's rare that I say this but I had literally zero words." Tony punctuated his words by tapping his fist against the wall multiple times.

Bruce tightened his hold on me, a sudden influx of strength accompanied by a quiet, low growl in his throat.

I felt the sudden need to clarify the situation. "Tony, chill. It takes me a lot more to be out of it, I'm fucking coherent and I'm talking sensibly. It's not my first rodeo."

Apparently I'd gone and said the wrong thing because all the men in the room were suddenly growling. I even totally forgot about Bucky who had the uncanny ability to exist in a room without making absolutely any sort of noise.

"The fuck do you even mean by that, Princess?" Tony screeched, probably already knowing that answer.

"From one rich kid to another, you should damn well fuckin' know," I spat, unwilling to admit my misery.

He sighed, audibly deflating behind me. I refused to listen to him, refused to be humiliated and exposed like that for my perfectly human desire to be happy. To not be a disappointment, to not be disappointed in everything and everyone. Bruce was nice and kind and warm and selfless but even he couldn't love me the way I wanted to be loved. Cherished, taken care of. All that mushy stuff. I was selfish, so I snuggled in closer to him, muting the world around me, replacing it with the smell and feel of him.

Cocaine made it a whole lot easier to imagine. Maybe that's why it was so addictive.

"Guys, calm down, you're stressing everyone out," Bruce rumbled quietly. I loved the way his deep voice seemed to reverb throughout his chest.

"Get me a cup of coffee, would you, Buckaroo?" Tony sighed again. I heard the sound of him slurping at his coffee. I heard Bucky's metal arm clunk against something equally metallic before the supersoldiers bid everyone good night and walked off.

Only then I removed my face from Bruce enough to take a good look at Tony. He was eyeing me, too.

"We have a caffeinated Tony," I said, softly. "Now we just need some science to have a happy Tony."

He smiled but it came out watery. He wanted to say something but choked on his words. "C'mere," He finally said, turning in his chair and opening his arms.

I unashamedly made grabby hands, the universal gesture for ‘I want, gimme’, and Bruce delightfully deposited me into Tony's waiting arms. It was like my birthday and Christmas came out all at once. Tony's embrace was warm, like Bruce's, but tinted with an unexpected familiarity. He smelled like motor oil and fancy cologne. It was heavenly.

"You keeping tabs on me, huh? Coffee, science and sass? That's your recipe for happiness?" The engineer asked me, a seriousness that didn't match the joking tone of the conversation at all.

"I think I got you figured out. Peter, too, is important for happiness. But in controlled amounts," I said, giving it a careful thought.

Tony chuckled, sounding a little bit shocked. "What about you?" He said after a brief moment of silence passed, interrupted only by Bruce's tea kettle coming to a slow boil.

"I don't think you need me for happiness," I said, meaning it. "But let's be honest, I'm a nice addition."

He stilled under me, briefly. Bruce cleared his throat.

"Brucie needs me, I think. He's lonely," I told Tony with a sudden influx of desire to be completely honest and 100% transparent. "And it makes me happy, because I need Bruce too. He's the best," I finished.

"Is that so?" Tony sounded vaguely tearful so I attempted to pull back to take a good look at his face. He didn't let me though, gently but firmly pressing my face back into his chest. "And me?"

"I do need you, Tones," I admitted without spilling any unnecessary details.

There was a child within me, small and scared and lonely, like Bruce. I hated her, hated being so soft and needy when everybody else obviously (and understandably) was busy with figuring out their own lives. I wished, desperately so, to just boom-boom-whoosh her away like Doctor Strange magicked away unwanted visitors.

Tony said nothing but his hands betrayed him. They shook and they held onto the skimpy see-through fabric of my top like he was a drowning man and I was his only floatie. For the moment, I closed my eyes and let myself believe he needed me, too.

"I'll catch a wink or two, wake me up if you need something," Bruce broke the silence, having finished off his tea. I didn't notice the time pass so quickly, too lost somewhere between here and there and Tony. In short, I was being lovesick all over the billionaire.

"Bwucie," I leaned backwards, pushing until Tony caved and let me rest my back against the counter, elbows on top of it, legs dangling freely on the sides of his legs. It put a lot of me on display. Tony had called me beautiful earlier so none of my usual habits of being appropriate around the man concerned me. He thought I was pretty!

"Princess," Banner came over to wrap me in a hug that was quite awkward, considering the fact I was sitting on Tony. It took some maneuvering to get it right.

"Night night," I said the usual and got a brief kiss on the cheek before Bruce shuffled off, yawning.

Tony was watching us with an unreadable expression. As soon as I turned my head to look at his face instead, something in him changed. His eyes grew big and round, the crease between his eyebrows disappeared. The corners of his mouth tilted up.

On a sudden impulse, I reached over to run my palm gently over the neatly trimmed line of his beard, following from his chin to his jawline, to his soft tousled hair. His eyelashes shook, fluttered, as the engineer leaned into my touch with the grace of a cat. "Kiss him, kiss him" my brain chanted. I knew I was a coward, I wouldn't do that. "Pretty," I said instead, the word coming out in a whisper.

He gulped, audibly. "Princess, you have no idea..." Shaking his head, as if he was surrounded by a swarm of mosquitoes, Tony briefly looked away. "You have no idea what you're doing."

"Nope," I agreed solemnly. "But at least it feels good. It feels right."

"God," He frowned, one of his hands coming to nervously card through his hair. "Nothing about this is right."

My face fell. Just like I thought, Tony wanted exactly nothing to do with a clueless little teenager. It stung and tears pooled in the corners of my eyes where I stubbornly refused to let them escape and make me into a crybaby. "Whatever you say, Tony." I was ready to agree with anything he said, really, if he would just keet holding me like that.

"Don't," He raised a palm. "Don't close yourself off like that."

Now I was genuinely confused. What exactly did he expect from me? I shrugged.

"You're clever, brilliant and beautiful, you can and should do so much better than all of this," He vaguely gestured towards me, towards himself, towards us and the whole damn city.

I contemplated my answer, briefly. "A lot of people tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing. Don't I get a say?" The bitterness had fought its way out and won. "I just want to be happy for a bit. All the usual bullshit."

He looked taken aback, really. Like he hadn't even considered the option. Typical.

Meanwhile, I continued my word vomit. "I want someone to give a damn about what I want and what makes me happier. Until then, I have no other choice but to take care of myself the best way I know how. Like everybody else does," The weight of his arm landed on my waist, pulling me close to his chest yet again. I didn't resist. No fight left in me. The tiredness seeped deep in my bones, chilly.

The sudden change of altitude startled me. The engineer had picked me up and started walking off towards the elevator, directing it to the lab. His personal lab. The tiles felt cold under my feet where he put me down to make his own beeline for the bar. I would've joined if not the drug in my system - the last thing I wanted was to land in a hospital yet again.

I took the moment to browse my social media, untag myself from all the unflattering pictures, post my usual shitpost. A tiny skirt, equally tiny top and fishnets - I felt out of place in his lab although I've worn more outrageous things previously. I was raw, torn open, bleeding my misery all over the room. That was not in my plan, but then again, when did ever life go as you planned it?

THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit @littlegasps @pilloclock @shereadsinquiet @downeyreads @hermione-grangers-wife @individualistfem @as-i-layhereinyourbed @sleep-i-ness @gigglyfox01

please check your blog settings before tag request or, alternatively, follow the "party favours" tag itself if Tumblr doesn't let me tag you - it does that for some reason. love you all 3000.

#party favours #bun writes #stephen strange x you #stephen strange x reader #Stephen Strange x y/n #bruce banner x you #bruce banner x y/n #bruce banner x reader #tony stark x y/n #tony stark x reader #tony stark x you

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puppy-phum · 4 years

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four songs i have on repeat

ah shit, here we go again. you all need to suffer bc of my music obsessions once more. but this is always so much fun so thank you @i-am-just-a-kiddo ♥

(i am going to cheat a bit but what else did you expect from me when it comes to music?)

SYML - Stay Close

this song is stuck in my head all the time and i think i just. listen to it as much as i breathe? it’s just so good. so incredibly good. i’ve loved syml for a long time and this is somehow so very different from all of the other stuff i’ve heard form them but wow? spot on. right up my alley. amazing lyrics. i wanna write novels about this song sigh (thank you so much dear cross for mentioning this to me ;; ♥)

QUEEN BEE - HBD

i feel this song in my soul the same way i felt sasagetai by tokyo gegegay. the vibe is so damn good and after looking at the lyrics this just got better?? this is just. so nice? even if it’s super angsty it just leaves me happy and empowered somehow (it’s one of those fuck the world -type of songs ok)

Liu Yuning - My O My / 心動 (I’m in Love)

god am just. so in love with liu yuning these days? he is amazing. in so many ways (not least of those his height and pretty legs krhm). and super busy with all of his ost songs? and his voice is just so good that am not even surprised that everyone wants him haha. his whole album is stunning and i am very excited to get another album from him at some point but my o my is somehow my favorite from it. then also this ost song?? jesus christ. i was listening to it on repeat yesterday while editing my pingxie fic and it’s just everything to me

Au/Ra - Panic Room (Acoustic)

this is very random but i love the vibe? and somehow the lyrics always make me think about my dear kiddo and their way of just. exposing themself to all this horror stuff that gives them horrible nightmares. i am so sorry about those dreams and pls don’t do this to yourself but i get it in some way? i hope you like this song bc am obsessed :’D

bonus:

The Yin-Yang Master: Dream of Eternity’s theme song aka

Deng Lun - 痴情冢

this movie ruined me. i haven’t loved anything this much and this quickly in a long time. i adore everything about it and i hope we get the second movie too with these characters bc i just?? need more of them. i want to know so many things. i want to dive into this world again and i want all these amazing visuals and i want to break my heart in the best way possible ;; and this song is just perfect for this movie, it really finds the core of everything? and deng lun’s voice, my god ;; another man i’ve fallen in love with haha he’s amazing

at the end i will tag: @ashenwren @jockvillagersonly @cross-d-a @kholran @inkblue-black @zuyilong ♥ no pressure, have fun, and thank you for always being so amazing! it’s a joy to be talking with all of you and sharing all these wonderful things :’)

#tag game #wow more music? yes #this is a random mix #and it really shows that #i've found new actors/ppl to adore #i hope yall have a good day!!#about me

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fierceawakening · 4 years

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So I’m pretty sure some damage has been done, but here’s a list of Stuff I’ve liked and disliked from Tumblerians who I thought were rationalists but maybe were adjacent:

Yay (edited to expand):

Long effortposts about how something works and why, especially as contrasted with short sj “x is bad/good/required”

Explanations of how neurodivergent men experience ableism, and how a lot of Discourse makes this predictably worse

Explanations of why movements like Gamergate or the Men’s Rights Activist movements might appeal to the above, esp. when they already feel profoundly unheard/disenchanted

Meeting various autistic women and autistic transmasc people, and discovering that we share a lot of things in common, including getting similar bullying as young people

Discovering that special interests are a thing, and being in an environment where me having them is normal, not weird

Willingness to think about moral theory. I wonder sometimes if they’ve studied non utilitarian theoretical frameworks as carefully as Bentham, but hey! Other people who vaguely know this shit! Woo, even if their take makes me ??? muchly

Analysis of how social status is a thing, and can be as or more powerful than privilege in individual circumstances

I have made several online friends I am sure I would not otherwise have met at all, and these people enrich my life and make it better, and I am very glad to have met them, regardless of what label they embrace

Boo:

One True Wayism about EA, utilitarianism/consequentialism, or both

Framing of “the left” as a monolithic enemy, including a recent post I saw that literally said “I thought the left was misguided, now I think they’re evil”

A tendency to paper over the sins of people they admire—Peter Singer, Paul Elam, etc. I’ve brought up things I think were damning and got eyerolls rather than “I can see why that would make you Nope out immediately, but here’s why I don’t...” style discussion

A tendency I see for people to do things like the above and seem intensely emotional/defensive, but then to condemn emotion based decision making in other people

A tendency to consider *anything* they don’t like moves in an incomprehensible neurotypical status game, rather than to notice that their jeremiads are unpleasant to hear and people avoid unpleasantness after a while

That whole thing in the communal house with the abusive dom. It really sounded like that person got off way too easy, which similarly makes me think these people act on emotion/protect members of their in group just as much as NT/empathy driven/$foo people when the rubber *actually* hits the road

Also re the house, stories about pressuring people to observe BDSM they were uncomfortable with. I too love the idea of never having to be private with my kink, but the minute one person is not okay with that, close the door! Jesus.

Finding out the guy who ran the central hub is cool with HBD

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the0ldtaylorisdead · 7 years

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THE OLD TAYLOR IS DEAD

**This is just a little intro blog as to why I started a whole new Tumblr, don't worry it's a one time thing and I'll then continue re-blogging all things Swift, because what else do you do on Tumblr?** THE OLD TAYLOR IS DEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah so I totally stole that from the queen herself (no not Queen Elizabeth) queen Taylor Swift 👸🏼 and to me, it's so much more than a bunch of lyrics. The old Taylor (aka - the old me) died in July 2015 and rose from the dead *cough* in 2017. Jesus Christ rose from the dead and so can I. The end of 2015 and all of 2016 was such a craptastic time. Sure, I got myself out of a crappy situation because I was un-happy and was sick of complaining about it. If someone told me it would take me almost two years to find myself would I have done it any differently? Absolutely not. I wouldn't be the person I am today. At the end of 2016 I promised myself that 2017 was going to be a good year, as much as I wanted that to be true I didn't exactly believe it. I legit felt like someone had put some kind of curse on me as nothing ever seemed to go right. I tried to be positive about it but 2016 chewed me up and spat me out and by December I was just so done. So 2017 happened and so far it's been a crazy roller coaster and I am enjoying the ride. I have opened myself up to a new relationship which can be hard when you've been hurt time and time again. You just get used to being alone and relying on yourself and you have this wall up because you don't want to go through all that again. But he's helping me knock it down one layer at a time and even though our situation right now isn't ideal, he is amazing and makes it worth it ❤️ I also promised myself this year that I would stand up for myself and stop letting people treat me like a doormat. I have come through with this promise and I know people have noticed my change in attitude and I'm aware it comes off as being rude or bitchy but quite frankly I don't care anymore. I'm not afraid to hurt your feelings, I will always say what I feel. In a way I have always been like this but I would sugar coat it. Ain't no sugar anymore. Sorry not sorry 💁🏽 My mum could tell on the night of my birthday that I was upset over a few people that I considered (yeah past tense) my good friends. They forgot it was my birthday. My mum then told me that my weakness is that I care too much about people who obviously don't care that much about me. And she was right, she's always right. Unlike the rest of the world I don't need Facebook to remember my friends birthdays, I just remember. It ain't hard. So I eventually addressed some of them about it and yeah that is kind of petty of me but whatever if you can't take ONE minute out of your "busy" day to wish a mate a HBD then I have every right to be upset with you. I will always make time for my friends, shame it doesn't go both ways. Anyway I feel like this is pretty long & it wasn't supposed to be. If you've made it this far and haven't died of boredom I owe you a 7 second cuddle. Well that's only if you wished me a happy birthday 😉 Okay bye 👋🏽 🖤💋

#theoldtaylorisdead #newme #taylorswift #reputation #okaybye

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goldmynetv · 5 years

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Star Actress, Stella Damasus Celebrates Stepson, Daniel Ademinokan's 11th Birthday Nollywood actress, Stella Damasus has taken to Instagram to celebrate her stepson, David, who is a year older today, April 4th. The mother of two who has been married to film maker, Daniel Ademinokan for over two years now, shared lovely photos with David and wrote; "I can't believe this young man is 11 years old. How time flies. I love you too too much booboo. Words cannot describe how much you mean to me and all who love you. Each time I look at you, I see greatness and success all around you. There is nothing you cannot do and achieve. You are the best in everything you do in school and everywhere you go. You are a shining star DAVID. You are special, loved by your dad, your two mums, siblings, uncles and aunties, plus the countless people who just meet you and fall in love with you instantly. May your life be filled with peace, joy, laughter, love, hope and plenty money in Jesus name. Your own children will give you so much joy as you have given us. I love you booboo HAPPY BIRTHDAY. #hbd #family #son #nyc" Stella and Daniel have been living in the U.S together with her stepson David for a while now. David is actress Doris Simeon's son, ex-wife to Daniel. Happy birthday David. https://www.instagram.com/p/Bv1do71lNNu/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=23e828ewvorq

#hbd #family #son #nyc

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shaneyshanevincent · 6 years

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BLACK JESUS I painted Jesus black, as birthday gifts to my grandmothers this month. They are Jesus’ #1 fan but now they can worship a God who looks like them too, and is relatable to them #inhisimage He is holding a Jamaican Beef patty and Nutmeg. Egypt is in Africa. I thought it was important to illuminate some truths about our history, and empower our culture. #blackjesus #eyeofhorus #horus #africa #grenada #nutmeg #isleofspice #jamaican #beefpatty #jesus #jesusfish #hbd #elshaneyo #god #black #ancientegypt https://www.instagram.com/p/BvhYnxDHUla/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=155fiq3gq1el3

#1 #inhisimage #blackjesus #eyeofhorus #horus #africa #grenada #nutmeg #isleofspice #jamaican #beefpatty #jesus #jesusfish #hbd #elshaneyo #god #black #ancientegypt

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telanovella · 8 years

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Okay but can we talk about that chaotic mess that was Jungkook's HBD twitter gift to Yoongi?

Jesus Christ, like either Jungkook got too competitive or he had way too much time on his hands. Like it was sweet don't get me wrong lol but like...damn.

#that was some intense editing #like there was music #and face paced text #and video clips #jungkook #bts #suga #yoongi

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kysaito · 6 years

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Happy Three Years!

November 3, 2018

Dear Karis,

Happy 3rd birthday!

(As usual, this post is coming a little late.)

This year, we celebrated your birthday at least 6 times. :)

The first was at Griffith Park with Uncle Kenny, Rosa, Auntie Alice, and Grandma Fely. We had a picnic, then went on the carousel, then on the train, then you rode on a pony! (A kid in front of us was scared to leave his mommy to go on the pony, but you let go of my hand and walked straight into the ring without a glance back – you were so excited!)

Then on your actual birthday we did everything just as you planned it (yes, you were very specific about what you wanted). Here’s a version of what you would say to me leading up to your birthday:

“I want to be Cinderella, and Mama will be Pocahontas, and Auntie Lyssa will be Jasmine, and Grandma Fely can be Snow White, and Dada can be the Prince. And all the kids will sing, ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Karis, happy birthday to you,’ like that, and then I’ll blow out my candles.”

You also mentioned wanting to go to Kid Space, and the day before your birthday, we went to eat dinner and played at a nearby arcade afterward, so you added a visit to the arcade to your birthday list, as well. And guess what… we did all that (and more!)

You and I went to IHOP for breakfast (we ordered the cupcake pancake combo), then I took you to preschool all dressed up in your Cinderella gown, glass slippers and all, then Grandma Jo brought strawberry cupcakes to school that she and Uncle B made (as you requested). You looked so happy and elegant, sitting there in the middle of the room at the table with the princess tablecloth, your friends sitting with you beaming excitedly – proud to be sitting at the same table as the birthday princess. After everyone sang happy birthday to you, you blew out your candles, then we packed up and went to Kidspace, then to dinner, then to the arcade, then back to our place – and you wore your Cinderella dress and crown proudly the whole time. At home, we had more cupcakes, then opened presents – so many princess presents!

You make me so proud, little Bear. I even made an Instagram post:

HBD, sweet Karis girl. You bring healing and light wherever you go and have made me braver, stronger, kinder, and just better. :) And you’ve helped me believe that tutus really can go with everything. Love you forever.

I love how brave and free you are. You seemed a little nervous as we were walking toward the classroom and I did start to worry that someone would say or do something to make you feel silly and want to change, or that maybe the teachers would have you change because your dress was too poofy to do activities or sleep during nap time. But when we returned at the end of the day for cupcake time, and I saw you sitting there surrounded by your friends, still in your dress, crown, and slippers, smiling proudly – I realized I didn’t need to worry about you at all. Aside from how beautiful you looked, what made me so proud was that I knew you feltbeautiful, and you weren’t letting self-consciousness or fear of what others might think keep you from soaking it all in.

One little girl even came up to me and told me she liked your dress, and a little boy came up to Grandma Jo and said he wanted to play with you, but that “Veda wouldn’t let me.” (Veda is your preschool BFF.)

We also celebrated with our small group and with Grandpa and Estella! And Kyrie and Auntie Danes took you out for a movie and ice cream, too. :)

So let’s have a talk…about everything that happened since I last wrote!

(You love starting conversations like that – “Let’s have a talk, Mama” – as you pat the seat beside you.)

You started preschool!

The biggest thing is probably that you started preschool! You go to the Enchanted Castle at Pasadena Montessori (sounds like a mouthful, but one day before we even intentionally taught you the name of your new school, you said, “Am I going to Pasadena Montessori today?”)

Caption: Your first day of preschool.

We were a little nervous about how you’d handle the transition from Judy’s to preschool, but you did so well! You jumped right in there and didn’t even look back (or shed a single tear!) Sometimes you’ll bring it up (“Remember how when I was a little girl, I used to go to Judy’s?”), but when I ask if you want to go back you say no because you’re “a big girl now.” The teachers tell us that everyone is falling in love with you and that you’re a happy little chatterbox. JYou come home telling us about playing with Veda, and the “jobs” you do (that’s what they call the assignments you work on), and how you took a numbers test… by the way, here’s one of the first numbers tests you brought home… 100%!

You’re a ballerina!

You also started ballet classes! You seem to love it – you are able to follow the routines the teacher shows you, and we can really see the concentration and determination in your eyes! You also practice your moves outside of class... click here and here to view your little airport ballet performances. :)

youtube

You are a happy, silly, funny, bold, generous, thoughtful, loving, insightful, artistic, beautiful little girl.

I could go on but those words are ones I have pictures and stories I want to share about with you.

Happy, silly, funny. Those are actually your words. I was telling you one night about all the wonderful things you are, and you jumped in and finished my sentence with, “and happy… and silly… and funny…” I love that you use those words to describe yourself.

Bold. You’ve stepped up and gone to the front of the room when volunteers were asked for, even though we could tell you were feeling a little shy about it – from holding medium-sized snakes to being the magician’s assistant, and a few other things in between.

Generous. Mommy and Daddy went to Tijuana, Mexico in June to help build a house. When we came back and I was showing you pictures (Click here to see!) and telling you all about it, you kept saying (and still bring up at times) that you want to go to Mexico and build a house with us. And when I showed you a photo of the family, the first thing you said was, “How come the kids don’t have any shoes?” I explained that they didn’t have a lot of money, and you said, “I can give them my sparkle shoes.” And a few days ago, you caught a bag of toys that I had packed up to give away. It seemed that you were going to get upset (“Hey, that’s my elephant! That’s my Minnie toy!”), but then we sat down and I told you about how we were giving the toys away to kids who didn’t have any toys to play with… and you let it all go (and even brought up how you could give them your sparkle shoes, again).

Thoughtful. When an ambulance goes by or we see an accident on the road, you’ll ask what happened, and then pray. You also say the sweetest prayers at mealtime and bedtime. They’re usually something like, “Dear Jesus, thank you for… Help Mommy and Daddy to feel better… dear Jesus, amen.” More recently, your prayers for Mommy and Daddy have been replaced with, “Help Maggie to not eat grapes or pomegranates.” A few weeks ago, Grandma Fely hadn’t been doing too well because of her toothache. It had been a few days since we’d seen her, and I had forgotten all about it, but at dinnertime, out of nowhere you asked how Grandma Fely’s tooth was and wanted to call her. It made her day.

Loving. Daddy was sharing in front of the whole church last weekend, and you were sitting with me in the back. I was holding you up so you could see him, when you turned to me and said you wanted to go see him, so I put you down and said, “Okay, go ahead!” Then you ran all the way to the front and he picked you up and held you while he shared. Later, he asked why you came up to the front and you said, “because I love you.”

Insightful. Daddy and I were fighting one time and then daddy left. I found you sitting quietly in your room and when I apologized for the fighting, you responded ever so gently, “was it your fault?” while tapping my nose with your finger. That’s just one example of many when you’ve helped one of us re-center by gently speaking truth into us.

Artistic. I’m not sure this is the best word. But I feel like you’re a craftsman, for sure. You love drawing, painting, and tracing. You’re very precise and your drawings actually look like what you say they are!

Beautiful. We get told this all the time about you by strangers and friends alike, but you carry a unique beauty that I believe comes from the Holy Spirit’s presence on you. If there are kids around who you don’t know, you’ll want to befriend them. With the younger ones you do know, you like to take their hands and guide them. We want to the beach to watch Uncle Corey and Auntie Dana get baptized, and though we barely said anything to you about what was going on (just talked about it around you), you said to me at dinner later, in an almost distressed voice, “Mama, I didn’t get baptized!” (You actually said, “I didn’t get washtide” first and I had no idea what you were saying. I tried brushing it off – “oh don’t worry, we can get it another time,” but you were persistent in reiterating what you wanted until I understood.) You have a tender heart that makes your eyes sparkle.

You continue to make your way around the world.

You’ve been to Prague, Hawaii, Napa, San Francisco, San Diego, Big Bear, Ventura/Oxnard, and this year, Las Vegas, NV, Arizona, and North Carolina!

(Las Vegas, NV) The “diamonds” at the Cosmopolitan, sun bathing and shark tank at the Golden Nugget.

(Slide Rock, AZ) Sorry, not the best pic of you but I wanted you to see the rock slides! Your Daddy and I both went down -- very slippery and very cold!

Apple picking in North Carolina with Julia and Dennis!

Driving along Blue Ridge Parkway

Your first East Coast College Tour -- to Duke and UNC (you slept through most of Duke).

Moravian Falls, in the presence of angels

Fearrington Farm

We just celebrated Halloween together as the Disney royals (per your request)

Things I’ve been learning…

Your dad cherishes me… and I could do a better job of cherishing him. Cherishing is love that goes out of its way to honor, protect, showcase, encourage, and bring out the best. If I want to see someone change for the better, I should make the effort to intentionally cherish them. This means affirming them in how far they’ve come rather than pointing out how far they have to go, it means conquering contempt and the temptation to critique by protecting them and practicing thankfulness. Cherishing can bring healing and bring out the best in someone – where criticizing never will. Cherishing is a choice. (This is all from Cherish by Gary Thomas.)

Take care of the little ruptures. Sometimes when I’m upset with someone, I struggle with whether to say something or not. But if I don’t say it and can’t let it go, then I start building up resentment… and then love for that person starts to fade. “Love doesn’t magically disappear, but it can slip away if you’re not choosing to fight for it over and over” (228). “There were 1,000 little ruptures that never got repaired” (227). (This is from I’d Like You More If You Were More Like Me, John Ortberg.) If the person matters to you, even if it’s uncomfortable or you just don’t feel like it, it’s worth it to take the time to address the little ruptures.

Be willing to interrupt what you’re doing, even if it’s inconvenient, to put the things that matter most first! There are so many times I’m faced with decisions and I’m not sure what to do, or I don’t even think and just choose based on what’s most convenient in the moment! I find that I often pick the thing that makes me look better to others – even if it means sacrificing my health, time with you, time with God, or compromising how I treat Daddy. Those are the very things that give me strength and joy. Without them, I get run-down and defeated. But with them, I am strong, content, and at peace. When you find your everyday decisions pulling you away from the things that ultimately matter most to you, stop, and force yourself to choose those things first.

Shake the dust off your feet… there’s just no pleasing them all. This keeps coming up again and again for me, and I have a feeling it will for you, too – simply because you’re my daughter. And also (this is a secret from 3-year-old you) but you’re already exhibiting signs of possibly being an achievement-oriented perfectionist (sorry). You can do your best and someone will think you’re not good enough. You can have pure intentions and someone will be offended by you. You can be nice and someone will think you have a secret agenda. You can try over and over to make things right with people, to make them see what you intended, to make them own your version of the truth… but you will lose lots of sleep, harbor too much anger and hurt, and you will always feel very, very tired. Oh, and it still won’t be enough. So again, focus on what’s true and unwavering and the people who matter most. Be willing to fight for those things. But beyond that… “shake the dust off your feet” and move on. Leave the rest to God’s judgement. (Matthew 10:14-15).

I love you so much my sweet precious Karis girl.

P.S. Other fun photos from these past few months...

Obon, July 2018

Kidspace (You insisted on sitting in the back while someone drove you, and refused to accept that I wasn’t going to fit in the driver’s seat... then this little boy drove up and offered to take you for a ride. The Kidspace employee commented, “she was made to be chauffeured.”)

Showing up in style for a drizzly day at Kidspace (you picked your outfit)

Tanaka Farms with Cam

Goofballs.

Doing the Worm at the family reunion/Cousins’ 50th in Vegas.

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