#he LKES LIKES u u IDIOT

[shinjisdone]

To Soften a Warrior’s Heart (Vinland Saga; Thorfinn; Part 6)

In which you have joined Askeladd’s band…and grow closer to the Son of Thors. Though it is more difficult than anyone can could ever imagine…

[Headcanons of how it would be like to meet and crawl your way into Thorfinn’s heart (based on season 1; both platonic and romantic)]

Part 1 is here - meeting Thorfinn at the age of 14 and how he is at that age

Part 2 is here - meeting Thorfinn at the age of 16/17 + headcanons of growing closer (slightly following s1 story)

Part 3 is here - blooming friendship with Thorfinn (slightly following s1 story)

Part 4 is here - Thorfinn unwittingly opening his heart as he realizes he does not want you to die

Part 5.1 is here - sweet things Thorfinn would do for you (headcanons)

Part 5.2 is here - other seet things Thorfinn would do for you (headcanons)

Part 7 is here - Canute grieving over Ragnar and Thorkell catching up; Thorfinn leaves you alone for revenge

Part 8 is here - Thorfinn wins against Thorkell; Questioning your bond with Thorfinn

Part 9 is here - Meeting Leif and Thorfinn dueling Askeladd; Losing while Askeladd told him the truth of his constant losses

Part 10 is here - Thorfinn and you bound by heart; Promises of Vinland broken and abandoned

[Mentions of murder, death, war, slave trade, harrasment against women and whatever awful things happened in the viking era. Only mentioned and used as examples. Mostly gender-neutral examples but female-leaning ones are there, too.]

[This part will specifically mention: Overprotective Thorfinn, shy Canute, you saving Canute and him getting a crush uwu, weirded out Thorfinn, jealousy, Thorfinn threatening Canute, Thorfinn wanting to SPIT IN HIS FACE, harmless shenanigans, not exactly 100% following chronoligal order of story because wholesome things first...soul-crushing second]

Carry on the oath until my last scene...

The band waddled out of the water and now continues on land...

Neither are a bother to Thorfinn. Yet it's clear that he isn't very pleased. He hasn't been for the past few days.

Well, he is not pleased when he is not right by your side. Which, now having to march on, is seldom as the viking is close to you whenever possible.

He side-eyes you often, gaze falling down to the injury you had to bear. It's unknown if the wound was caused by accident or not, though that does not matter to Thorfinn. He is absolutely convinced that Askeladd is the perpatrator and cause of your wound - which is a scar by now.

It angers him though he tries to hold it down. Whenever he thinks back to it however, he looks like a closed but whistling kettle.

In fact, Thorfinn will make sure you two are NOT seperated at all. No matter what circumstance you are thrown into...

Staying close is a necessity and nothing will get in the way of it. So far so that the crew itself started mumbling about it during the march...

Well, it makes sense. Out of everyone you prefered each other from the very beginning, holding a bond that may started off as rather businesswise but both of you held values that made it slowly form into something genuine. Certainly even the tardiest fool got it how genuine your connection is by Thorfinn's outburst a week ago - yet if that was not obvious enough, the way Thorfinn insisted to stay by your side surely made it now.

You both check on each other multiple times throughout the day even as you do nothing but march. Winter is as good as here, so the constant concern and questions are not out of the ordinary but there is a certain...stoic warmth to it?

Thorfinn does not show an ounce of emotion when talking to you, checking on you, sharing food, offering help or even handling you. He treats you gently, like glass even when it comes to your fresh scar as if he was your mother or guardian - while doing all of this with the biggest scowl on his face.

His lack of facial expressions may fool the men but not his actions. Actions speak louder than words, after all!

Out of everyone, Askeladd is the most aware...

So one can imagine their gossip and talks. Well, they are just marching, protecting a prince. What better way to kill the time than this?

About Thorfinn having gone mad or being an overly sensitive lad who gets emotional over anything and everything that Askeladd does...or, how maybe you have bewitched him, how you two so suddenly became much closer or at least, had the courage to openly show it now.

Some may laugh and call you two peas in a pod, twins seperated from birth who found each other in a viking band again. Fools seldom differ, and all.

Others are convinced there has to be more. Infatuation and little sweet nothings exchanged? Is that why you two keep close to only each other and keep a distance to anything and anyone else, huh? Was Thorfinn's lovebird a bit hurt? Oh, woe is you!

The blonde is understandably pissed off but surprisingly does not reply in any way, shape or form to the mockery and gossip. Even though your wound healed, Thorfinn is more focused on staying by your side. He is too tired to give them the time of the day anyway...seems like they forgot he was the one who rescued the oh so important hostage prince in the first place.

So everything goes on with Thorfinn just being closer than ever. It seems like after that ordeal, he has let go of the many questions surrounding you and how he feels about you, too tired to ponder about them anymore.

He decided to follow his gut.

Besides, it's not like caring for you is a nuisance...not at all as it turns out. The young man finds it even...pleasant. It's...nice.

After all, he doesn't want you to die. And as you admitted to him with that smile on your face, you apparently want him to live, too.

Well, not apparently. You said so. And it was nice that you did say that.

Even now you were being pleasant. Showing your unadultered concern, gratitude, help and smile. It made this entire march, the boiling anger at Askeladd bearable. In fact, those are the only times where he gives small, faint smiles as responses to yours. Only when you can see them.

Yet speak of the devil. The 'leader' wants to speak to you.

The older man calls you two - and even if he didn't, neither of you would leave the other alone - and soon you see him talking to the retainer of the prince and his highness himself.

The latter hid behind the man, however.

The retainer was a rather short, round man with a pointy, bald front head with his brown side hair reaching his beard. The prince just reached his shoulders with blue eyes, blonde lashes as light and blonde as his silky, neatly cut and long hair.

No wonder everyone calls him 'Princess'.

And if lady luck would have it, the both of you are assigned to be the guards of the prince with the retainer Ragnar being rather unsure about the decision. Askeladd, acting as if nothing happened the week before, simply asks him for his trust.

Again, Thorfinn is not pleased.

Now he has to spent his time looking out for this scaredy cat? He'd rather march on and on with you by his side.

You can't form an opinion of it just yet. Obviously everyone is going to look out for the prince, the hostage, the entire reason the band fought Thorkell and the reason why you got hurt. Since he is the prince of King Sven, a lot of people would like to kidnap him. The high demand for this royal coward is annoying to an degree, you cannot deny that.

Well, at least you and Thorfinn can sit on a wagon instead of having to walk all the time.

Ragnar is like a mother hen.

Canute is a yellow-belly, silent as a mouse.

And you and Thorfinn are stuck with them.

The blonde barely greeted the royal and instead glared at him with his usual pout. You could tell he wasn't happy and this introduction intimidated Canute, making him hide behind Ragnar. Askeladd is quick to criticize him for the behaviour.

"Thorfinn," You say with a crooked smile. While you don't particularly care about their opinions, there is no need to have the potential crown prince of Denmark (and perhaps England lets see where this war goes) dislike you. Taking Thorfinn by the hand, you pull him away and try to give the prince and retainer your most reassuring smile. "No need to worry, Prince. Thorfinn and I will be sure to keep you safe until we reach the king. Thorfinn is a grumbler, don't mind him. You are in safe hands."

At least your attempt at being nice made the prince peek from his hiding spot.

He couldn't help but gaze down at your two hands - and how the meany, grumpy blonde reciprocated your gesture by holding it back.

The wagon is comfortable, you sitting next to Thorfinn who still hand't spoken a word - only exchanging necessities with you.

Ragnar was not convinced of your capabilites, 'such young chicks', he said which only made Askeladd laugh. "They're the same age as his highness, I am sure they'll get along!"

Well, Canute is sitting in a ball further away.

With his stature and garments it was only a matter of time before others realize how important he is. Days pass and a group of overconfident bandits barge from each side, kicking over the wagon until it was heavily damaged with you, Thorfinn and Canute astray somewhere in a dense forest below your orignal path.

Cowering in place the prince snapped up his gaze with a yelp as he saw you towering above him. Blood was dripping from you and your weapon, quickly shushing him for his idiotic behaviour.

It unfortunately only made him hide himself from you more.

You sigh and kneel down. Eyeing the shaking form...it's odd to think that he is supposed to be at your age yet he is nothing like you or Thorfinn.

He is quiet, deadly silent even. He refuses to speak a single vowel and hides behind Ragnar as if he was his rock and he the worm.

Well, as your bond with the young viking proved, you were still able to show a bit of kindness.

Perhaps you used to be like that form your past, try to maintain a quality a loved one begged you to keep, or maybe you have always been that way...

Either way, the prince is scared. Terrified. You have known feelings like this, maybe still feel this occasionally to this day. The brutality and lack of love of a viking is not what the prince needed right now.

You don't believe anyone needs nor wants that. Not even vikings themselves...

You wipe the blood off your hands. Seathing your weapon you carefully and gently lay your hand on his trembling shoulder. He does not react, so you attempt to soothe him to look at you by rubbing his shoulder with your thumb.

The sensation is familiar, as Ragnar often does it, and Canute looks up at you with teary, widened eyes. "Prince," You try your utmost to sound like a soft mother, "We'd best leave. You're the safest with us, even if it doesn't seem like it. If anything, I'll keep you safe, alright?"

It felt odd to talk to royalty as if he were a child but it seemed to work as the confusion on his face slowly softened. There was reluctance so your hand traveled down from his shoulder to his own, holding both of them as if you'd propose to him. "We have to get up and go. I know you can do that." Gingerly you encouraged him to get up with you, your hold on his hands steady but gentle. You were so focused on making him feel better that everything else seemed to cease to matter.

At last you were standing. Canute gasped as you swiftly turned around with your weapon in one hand and your other still holding his, your assuring smile exchanged for a scowl.

You lead the way but he is still hesitant. Your stomps seem like that of an fearless elephant while he is tapping after you like a mouse.

Displeased at the pace, you turned back to him with a smile and Canute felt a strange mixture of awe and confusion. You...are a viking. Going hand-in-hand with that scary, moody, omg pls keep him away from me Thorfinn guy while glaring daggers to your actual leader. There's blood on you, you killed just recently to get here and yet you are smiling at him as if he were an old loved one. How?

"Prince, I know it's frightening", Canute does not like to admit it but you are right. Still, he does not speak. "But I will lead you out of this forest and back to the wagon and Ragnar." The mention of his father-like figure eases him, "All you have to do is hold onto my hand and not let go, alright? I'll take care of the rest. I know you can follow me easily." Giving his hand a squeeze, your smile widened before you turned away and began rushing out of the woods. Canute tried his bet to keep up with the smallest of yelps.

And how fast you ran. You were like the wind, not easily conquered or intimidated by the dense trees, stopping often to check on him - it stunned as he almost collided into you each time.

There was your smile again even as you spoke sternly: "Prince, I need you to tell me when there is something wrong. Whatever reason you have for not talking is, I can't read your mind. You have to speak to me."

Oh how easy that sounds. But how gently you are handling him, how awe-struck and daring your entire escapade was, how you were oh so soft compared to anyone else he has met the past few days (even weeks, he has been on a journey for a long time!) it makes it more difficult to even let out a whimper. You are making it difficult to speak. Canute is downright speechless.

Your hold on his hand did not falter, nor did your kindness and bravery. He feels like such a little bunny compared to you.

Soon, light shone through and you were able to find back to your original path. The bandits were defeated, the wagon brought back on its wheels, the horses caught back. You casually passed by the corpses as Canute tried to avoid stepping on them and their pools of blood. The sight of the battlefield was gruesome but he was nevertheless glad to be back to 'safety'.

Ragnar was quick to run over to the prince and you let go of him, with Canute feeling visibly disappointed. Still, he sighed in relieve as the older man took him into his arms.

It was over so quick. The little moment you had there with Canute seemed like a dream as you parted from his side and looked everywhere for Thorfinn, refusing to move on without him. Quickly you found each other, gladly so and the sight is odd to Canute. One one hand, as a general rule both guards of his should be looking after him first and not each other. Neither of you spared him a glance (Thorfinn did quickly but paid his attention back to you) and on the other hand, after you made his heart beat so fast it was dejecting to see you act so familiar with a brute such as him.

Well, the journey continued on with a bit of a different atmosphere now.

You still sat next to Thorfinn who watched the prince with raised brows and so did Ragnar. His highness was still hunched by the older man's side but kept on glancing to you, trying to peek to the person behind Thorfinn with a flushed face. He looked like a shy little girl.

This of course perplexed Thorfinn. And pissed him off.

Anything and everything seems to piss him off.

The blonde leaned further into you, making his body broad with his arms as to shield you from Canute's vision with a glare. You stare at him confused and the prince quickly understood the vikings intentions and snapped his gaze away, embarrassed. Thorfinn only scoffed.

When the prince needed a break, he'd glimpse at you as you got off the wagon. Thorfinn would step in front of you and cross his arms.

When food was offered and you'd hand it to the prince, there was the urge to have your hand touch his again. He'd bent his to at least graze your finger, only to have Thorfinn shove the food into his hand and tell him to eat already (Ragnar is shocked at the rudeness).

And everytime Thorfinn made sure to sit right next to you as he almost squeezed you to the corner of the wagon, your side pressed against the wooden edge. You'd tell him off that he is suffocating you but the young man does not listen and instead watches Canute's reaction.

This guy is so weird.

What's with him? Why is his little highness suddenly acting so off? And out of all people why does it have to be around you, the one and only person Thorfinn cares about? Can't he be odd around someone else that doesn't matter?

"Watch out that you won't get any pop eyes, princess." Thorfinn lets out as he leans on his hand while resting his other elbow close to you on the edge of the wagon. He'd often nudge you to get your attention (and in turn you might push him away, saying he broadens himself like he is king (to which he chuckles) and he better makes some space. You shove him and he laughs and does as you asks) - but this time, he doesn't want you to pay any attention to him. The prince.

In turn the latter jumped and looked at him questionably but fearfully. As if reading his thoughts, Thorfinn continues, "You might get blind." As he utters these words his brown eyes narrow and Canute whimpers. You peek at the two apprehensively with Canute catching your gaze and immediately flushing as red as a cherry. He wants to keep looking at you...but he can't as he turns his face away.

"If you've got anything to say," Thorfinn continues with his threatening undertone, "Then say it, princess. I'm all ears."

The tips of his ears tinged even redder, the prince finally jumps up and points at the blonde. His eyes are glaring but his face is sweaty and flushed. "H-How dare you...!" He blurts out, "I...I cannot simply just...state how I feel...!"

Both Ragnar and you watch with widened eyes. Did he just speak?

The old man watched with his mouth agape and you with the corner of your lips twitching up. The exchange between the two was almost comical despite Thorfinn's nonchalance (and threatful undertone) and Canute's plea to be taken seriously. You snort and as all eyes went to you, tried to hold your laughter with your hand clasped to your mouth.

The royal went still and stumped at your muffled laughter, hunched down and your shoulders bopping up and down. No! He...he doesn't want you to laugh at him!

He doesn't want anyone to laugh at him but not especially you!

Not after...you acted like such a knight for him...

It doesn't help that he sees Thorfinn smile at your attempt. In fact, he only sees him smile at you, around you, with you. Everyone else only deserves a scowl.

Kings and Gods, change the odds...

The days turn into weeks.

Canute spies as Thorfinn and you seem so comfortable in the others' presence, like you were made for each other. It's bizarre how you seemed like the complete oppsite to him when you two were alone in the forest. In general you were less moody than Thorfinn.

Even as time goes by, the schtick is the same.

Canute doesn't have the courage to speak to you even after he stood his ground against Thorfinn. The latter doesn't seem to mind that you are not talking, in fact, rather prefers it.

Canute can be the personification of benelovence and he still wouldn't trust him anywhere near you.

The prince notices that which deflates him even more...Ragnar is worried over the sudden shift of behaviour and interest of his prince.

He can barely get the chance to even...do anything. He has to play the part of the well-behaved prince and not go out of his way to win your favor. With what anyway? A few flowers, thanks or promises? He couldn't do that in front of the band anyway...let alone under the piercing gaze of Thorfinn.

The latter doesn't even...notice what exactly the prince is feeling for you. He just thinks he is an oddball. Are all royals like that?

Ragnar quietly observes. He'd find a quiet place to talk to him about it later.

However, if you are female both men would get the idea a bit, just a tad biiit quicker.

Ragnar is indignant, very much so, too! His highness can't go and catch feelings for some viking! You certainly must have seduced him, you minx! No, no, no! This won't do. He'd find some time to talk Canute out of this little fantasy of his. As exciting as it must seem to fall in love, he is sure Canute is aware and will understand that a royal cannot be with, let alone fall in love, with a raiding, pillaging killer!

Thorfinn on the other hand would take muuuuch longer to catch on, even if you're female. But once he does, he scoffs and glares. Bro, seriously? Is the little princess going to fall and make eyes for the only woman in this band? Pathetic. His highness probably has never seen or interacted with a woman before and the moment he sees one he thinks he can act all enamoured with her? Bleh. Ugh. Dude, gross, pathetic behaviour, smh for real.

The moment Thorfinn realizes that what Canute is feeling for you is love, then he'd turn from his guard to yours. Call it betrayal, he was never his servant in the first place and the only one he would ever consider being faithful to is you, if anything.

He'd be overprotective in general but especially, aggressively so if you are a woman. Through the years he has always tried to protect you from all kinds of men and he is not going to make any exceptions for a prince.

Oh, he probably thinks he has a chance because he is a prince, eh? Silly goose. Idiot. Actual fool. Thorfinn can hardly contain his laughter.

No, bro. Just no. Don't even think about it.

The young man hardly has an opinion of Canute, mostly because he clams up out of fear and when he does say something, it doesn't hold any meaning to him.

Aside from these two things, Canute just glances at you. Sometimes even watches you without knowing it. Judging from these three things that he does Thorfinn sees him as an hopeless coward. Too soft-hearted to have any kind of presence and to immediately fancy you (and if you are a woman, Thorfinn believes the only reason for him to fall in love is because you are a woman. Just love at first sight because the prince is just a easily-swayed boy).

In fact...it just makes him demean him.

First he has to protect some guy and now that very same guy has eyes for you? A prince with no guts?

It pisses him off, not as much as other things usually, however. Canute could have your best interests in mind and at heart but...Thorfinn just doesn't want him anywhere near you - hell, he doesn't even want him to have these kinds of feelings for you!

It can be either jealousy or worry, that's for you to decide. Thorfinn sure as hell won't tell you.

It's just an eyesore, a waste of time for him. The blonde is so, so convinced and just knows that the royal has no chance whatsoever with you. You and Canute...that just wouldn't work. At all.

The thought of royalty not being able to marry a commoner, let alone a viking doesn't come to his mind. It's not about Canute being a prince and you being a mercenary...it's about a coward thinking he can win the heart of someone like you.

You...who has always been by Thorfinn's side. Nothing and no one seemed to interest you in any way the past years, things have always been like this.

You and Thorfinn. Even as the beginnings were rough, the fact that it was always you two still stands. It couldn't be any other way.

Besides, you deserve better than a scaredy cat, no matter if prince or not.

No matter if he could offer you a better and safer life. You deserve better.

Well, Thorfinn believes that wholeheartedly but would, of course, never admit it.

It doesn't help that when encountered by the people of Wales, the prince cannot even say who he is. He cannot state his status and what he wants. Instead he cowers behind Ragnar for the hundreth time.

"How embarrassing. And you are supposed to be as old as me?"

Thorfinn is as calm as a river as he glares down at the latter.

What a 'prince'. Cannot even speak and still demands on stealing glances at you. Coward.

It is only after Askeladd saved everyone's skin is where Canute is more aware of his lack of...anything. He cannot speak, he cannot fight...it is embarrassing, just as Thorfinn said.

He can't do anything.

While he does not care for the thoughts and opinions of the band it still hurt to have them demean him so much. And even worse, you were right there, too. You are his guard as well, after all and just witnessed right then and there how the guy that fancies you is an complete failure.

As humiliating as it was...you somehow did not despise him.

Yes, he is a coward and yes, he is fragile and fear-laden and flimsy but you weren't outwardly showing any dislike to him as you and Thorfinn were invited into the hut by Ragnar.

Neither of you stuck by Canute and Ragnar unless it was necessary...so seeing you walk in with two hares was quite the surprise...and so was it to see the prince in casual clothing, an apron and bound hair.

"Oh...hello." He felt a bit nervous around your presence but also felt so much in his element that he ended up cooking all four of you a meal that stuck to your rips - much better than grilled hare alone.

You couldn't help but compliment the chef, which only made him blush.

It seemed you did not hate him after all...perhaps you were just a kind, empathetic person or rather saw the prince as a meek child than a successor to the throne or simply understood that what is a normalcy to you is not for him. Someone who was not born into wars and fights.

You eat and talk...

And both Ragnar and Thorfinn finally realize why Canute feels for you the way he does.

Soft-hearted fool.

Ragnar would definitely pull him aside tell him that...this cannot go. It's best if he were to let go in the first place since nothing can grow from this anway. He is the prince and you a mercenary, temporarily his guard.

It hurts him to see the young man he sees as his son drop his shoulders like that, nodding in understanding. "But Ragnar..." he quietly begins before becoming louder and clearer. Certain. "The way they saved me...like the wind. They aren't a savage viking, they were like a true knight! And, and, their eyes and smile, you saw the way they looked at me, it's..."

Canute avoids his gaze with a flushed and shy gaze, gushing about the encounter and this meal you had as if it were a dream. Ragnar only shakes his head. Oh, even he is still a lad. A foolish lad.

Thorfinn is less understanding.

There is this urge to straight up approach Canute and tell him to stay the hell away, just as he does to other people who bother you or he finds troublesome (not like Canute can actively stay away - you both are his guards). Obviously the guy cannot take the hints Thorfinn has been throwing his way with his glares as dark as thunder, keeping you by his side and straight up telling him to stop gawking at you or else he might go blind.

That'd be a shame, princess.

For real, he doesn't understand, does he? Does he have to spell it out? Thorfinn does n o t c a r e about him nor who he is. He does

n o t c a r e that he was assigned guard by Askeladd, he does not care about him nor about Canute's well-being. Nothing would be lost if he were to die.

All he cares about is you (though he won't admit it but Ragnar and Canute could tell from day 1).

So Thorfinn has no qualms to threaten a prince to have stop having mushy feelings for you.

Also, its real embarrassing bro smh.

However, even Thorfinn knows that isn't the smartest action so he keeps on throwing his silent, threatening messages.

Yet, there is also a chance of him telling you what is obviously going on (chance of telling you: 35%). After all, you must have noticed it as well, haven't you? The way he looks at you, blushes like a maiden and keeps on trying to (meekly) approach you in any way? Like. c'mon.

If he does tell you, you ask him what you should do about it. It's not your intention to woo a prince and it isn't your fault either the both of you got paired up to protect him. Better than have a potential succesor to the throne hate you.

If you are not aware (how stupid are you) and ask him what he means, Thorfinn is genuinely...baffled? Are you kidding him you cannot be that naive.

You are a killing, battling viking for who-knows-how-long, hardened by wars and you cannot tell this little gosling is hopelessly enarmored with you???? Huh????

You brush him off and tell him that's ridiiiiiculous. There's no way.

Bro what do you mean there is no way? You blind?

The blonde may not know how it happened but he knows it's love, or at least infatuation. Why should he not fall in love with you? You...are you.

Out of everyone he knows, it makes the most sense for someone to fall for you.

He might even tell you so if he is frustrated enough. You are...tolerable and probaby did something nice for him. And as easily swayed as he seems, there is a high chance Canute just fell for you right then and there.

Thorfinn has a really hard time directly and verbally telling you the potential reasons why someone might like you. He is not lying in the slightest but...he just can't say it outright.

And if you are female then, uh, yeah, Thorfinn is very much baffled by your lack of conviction. This sounds very mean but Thorfinn believes the fact that you are female is the reason Canute fancies you in the first place. He probably never interacted with one before, let alone one as nice as you. He sees it more as a flaw and quip at Canute than you.

Well, you are...a woman. So of course the prince found something alluring about you.

"Don't be so stupid. You are...hm, nice." He looks away with his pout and struggles to really explain himself. "Watch out or the princess will fall head over heels for you entirely."

If he does not tell you (chance 65%) then...well, he is still moody and grumpy though you cannot comprehend why this time. He just wordlessly drags you anywhere he wants to.

Maybe he'd tell you to stop being so unnecessarily nice to a prince but does not elobrate.

He keeps his hand on your wrist most of the time, sometimes your own hand. Keeps you close as he glares at Canute, has you sit next to him, side by side, cloak pressed against cloak as it seems like he is protecting you rather than protecting the prince.

When accomodating food, he shares it with you. When nighttime falls (good thing you both are on a wagon) he lets you sleep on his shoulder, on the other side where Canute is sitting so he can't see your slumbering self.

Whatever may come even though you two are Canute's guards, Thorfinn is doing his best to keep you away from him. Even as the prince would not be able to let out a single whimper around you or to you, the mere fact tha Canute has feelings for you is bothering enough for him. He better stop.

It's even worse for him when Thorfinn ends up showing affection to you from time to time. From jokingly shoving you away to gentle touches and you doing the same for him. You two smile at each other like only you two exist...Thorfinn is not doing any of this out of spite or to make Canute jealous - it just happens. The blonde is tired of having to pay attention on how he will be perceived in the open and just follows his gut. Canute just ends up feeling a bit...envious of it all.

You brush each other's hair, tend to the other's wound, share your blankets and cloaks in the cold winter while sitting so close to each other...while Canute is right there. When you aren't needed you two act like the entire band does not exist.

Well, you are still being nice to him...when you pay attention to the shy prince.

But other than that...it honestly feels like Thorfinn's only intention was to protect you and only you. No matter what would have been decided, the young viking would have always chosen you.

It's strange to see him like this. How he let himself fall into your arms.

[This became much shorter and much more harmless than I thought...? Well, nothing much happens and we gotta get used to princess canute over here so...¯_(͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

Thorfinn tired of having to think all the time...its not his forte if u get what i mean

after all that happened...it just feels right to stick with you. it feels better than going back and feeling alone.]

[cassyapper]

ohhh so i started playing yakuza kiwami (1) and boy

so i finished the first chapter and a liiil of chapter 2 for context and these are my mainline thoughts rn, they might be kinda messy

once again kiryu is pulling out his self-sacrificial specials and he ends up in PRISON FOR IT im so done with this man (i want to hold his hand and k*ss him)

nishiki is making me very very concerned. why is he acting like that. sera saved his kazama’s and kiryu’s ASSES in yakuza 0 and this mf calls an entire meeting just to twitter callout him??? listen i know it’s concerning sera seemingly lost TEN BILLION YEN but holy shit he’s been running this joint for over ten years now i would trust him to have some sort of plan or assume he just moved it from the original savings account jesus CHRIST nishiki 😭 also seriously he’s in kahoots with omi alliance too? don’t trust that. don’t like that. also his slick-backed hair style after the ten years is so BAD 😭

hm but i am concerned on why sera supposedly called that hit on kiryu in prison...why did he do that (if he did that idk if i trust the inmate who said it was sera)

anyway still speaking of nishiki he did not cope well with the thought that he might be useless at all huh. which i get, dont get me wrong, i completely understand why he’d be upset and why it would dig under his skin but holy shit he really just destructed the fuck out of himself. reina didnt deserve that

alas though i dont blame nishiki for killing dojima tho i wouldve killed him too. and i cant even blame him for kiryu’s self-sacrificial bullshit either cause nishiki was in shock over a) killing someone for the first time b) that someone being his fucking BOSS

speaking of reina that small lil implication that she had a crush on nishiki before everything went down kinda hrut. nishiki u stupid fucking idiot

ALSO yumi was cute but within like a minute of her screentime i was lke “haha yeah she’s gonna die” and well she’s not DEAD...but she is missing so :/ kiryu’s crush on her was/is so cute though i really hope she’s okay,,the ring ): i wonder if maybe that’ll help spark her memories of the night if she gets it again

majima u insane man he has it BAD bad for kiryu yall were not joking. mf really took flirting lessons from NISHITANI 😭😭😭 also i could not beat him when u fight him for the first time after getting out of prison like holy shit. and i assume that’s normal considering the dialogue/gameplay explanation afterward but jesus christ he is so SLIPPERY he is an eel

also i remember shinji from one of 0′s sidequests!!! what a fun little guy. i hope he’s okay he really looked up to kiryu i hope nothing bad happened to him in the past ten years ):

also one last thing idk anything about haruka other than she calls kiryu “uncle kaz” and kiryu adopts her (emotionally if not legally) so i am thinking she’s either nishiki’s kid or yumi’s but i have no idea how she ends up in his care or why nd i cant rlly think of a situation that would prompt it either. but i am excited 2 meet her

anyway sorry for this ramble post i am just thinking. this is gonna be a bonebreaker i think

[zhuhongs]

something that i always am hit with, is the realization that i just feel so fundamentally different from my peers. for example, last night I went to work and so it was just me and my one manager in costume. And this one dude i worked with was like “oh nice spirit sage. do you have plans tonight or?” and i was like “nah, i just dress up. other than that i just chill by myself on halloween lol” and he was like “ahahaha nice” and it was just like whatever. And as we were closing he was talking about how hes having a party with like.. at least 50 ppl at his house and i was like.. What... ppl do that. ANd all the other coworkers around my age were like “ahaha yea we’re doing things” and idk i just felt like weird. Like I don’t ever do that. I can’t even think of 50 ppl irl who like me like that, tf. And it was just a weird realization that like.. im the weird one for not partying and drinking with others in my 20s. Idk it made me feel like the stupid annoying introvert fandom nerd stereotype that ppl think of when they think of ppl like me and i just felt so deeply uncomfortable. Like iwas sitting here bragging that I dont have friends or plans. I felt so boring and pretentious and just.. weird. Like wow... friends. Idk im just not social. I’m really bad at talking to ppl in a meaningful way. I feel lke I can’t be understood by others. Or like I don't want to. I’m scared of being seen so i eliminate that possibility entirely. Like I communicate well with my coworkers but not in a way that 20 yr old should. I do much better talking to older people--I relate more. I just.. cant relate with others my age. I feel so bad for this. Again.. like one of those quirky bookworm introvert stereotypes. I dont want to be seen that way but maybe that’s exactly what i am. idk i put on an act that i’m just put together and studious, but still able to have fun and joke around but I’m not. I’m just sad and miserable and not even as studious and hardworking as I try to give off. I talk about work and stuff all the time that I fear that im annoying everyone around me. I’m sure they’re all just like “yea we fucking get it, ur at work. ur tired.. bc u work.. and u cant talk bc u have work. fuck off u insufferable cunt. We get it, ur in college, ur working, you have it SO hard...” idk i  just feel like such a pretentious idiot. I talk too much or i just blank out like the blandest person ever. And when I do talk I talk in a way that im trying too hard to make for something. In essence, my being is apologetic which is more infuriating than actually making mistake. I'm too afraid to be undesireble that I try to be likeable but that try hard likeableness is actually the most insufferable personality to have. I just.. i dont know how to be in a way that is acceptable-- to myself and to others. I feel so incomprehensible and sad. I dont know what I’m doing. I keep grasping at straws and sending mixed signals bc i dont know myself. I cant rectify a version of myself that I can be satisfied with so i wear 500 million different masks to try and be an amorphous, easy to like shell of myself. I dont know. I’m awkward and terrified. How have I made it this long living this way. I’m a child.. im not doing this.

[glorywaited]

☽ /   @thiefreign​ :  das ship meme                SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU :  ( accepting !!  )

thank u for enabling me n my daily sole source of serotonin with these two !! ihu cause i love all our millions of verses so.... mmmaybe i’ll throw in some specifics...

Who said “I love you” first : it’s usually eugene tbh -- but iirc cass drunkenly confessed in our canon verse but neither remembered that so does it count idk... n cass tbh probably yells it at him out of frustration in my street raised verse because he is the worst but usually she waits for him n they pine after each other forever because they’re absolute idiots...the smartest idiots... but eugene generally breaks first because he’s him && as far as saying the actual phrase...that’s always eugene because ykno cass has to go through her ‘me too’ phase of just responding with ‘me too’ n actually fully meaning it entirely but terrified to say it dhajmd

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background : eugene. always. especially with model cass because like...look at her. but honestly any modern cass usually has him on her home screen especially the pic from that one time she tried to take a pic of him peacefully n cutely sleeping n dropped her phone on his face...

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror : both but cass probably started it when they were fwb n he was being annoying after shower sex n talking too much n going to do his usual skincare routine n everything n before he could wipe the fog away she drew on a moustache unibrow n devil horns n now they do that to each other n leave little notes or terrible drawings in the corners of the mirror. for pjo / hp / any teen verse tbh they probably just do that to each other a lot n it’s always way more ridiculous drawings or notes n she probably just writes ‘dork’ all the time so he sees it later 

Who buys the other cheesy gifts : eugene does cause he’s good at cheesy n cass is not but she’d probably buy him things as a joke tbh. generally she’ll give him practical / thoughtful gifts out of nowhere just because she saw it or saw he was running out of something n refilled it for him, things like that.

Who initiated the first kiss : tbh it’s usually eugene or it’s one of those mutual things where they both end up leaning in n before they can really think it through they’re already kissing followed by a soft pull away, look at each other n then going back in because oops they opened a faucet they cant shut off. but every time eugene initiates no matter the verse it always surprises the hell out of cass cause she just does not think he likes her, especially verses where they’re teens n the denial is high but she always kisses back immediately n usually always initiates the second kiss

Who kisses the other awake in the morning : eugene started it but cass really, really enjoys whenever he does. it startles her the first time in any verse, especially our canon verse since she’s so jumpy but she definitely starts doing it too whenever she wakes up first. she’ll brush his hair back gently n kiss him softly to wake him but every so often when she’s being a brat she’ll wake him up terribly by tickling his sides of blowing a raspberry on his neck....n other times she’ll wake him up by kissing his neck n generally attempting to initiate morning sex n she’s not sry about any of it :\\\

Who starts tickle fights : EUGENE. ALWAYS. in proooobably every verse...maaybe not hitman cause he’s edgy unless it’s like deeep into their relationship but :\\\ she hates it n she fights back every single time because she will NOT be the only one to suffer

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower : cass does not ask -- well, she sometimes asks if he wants her to join him -- but she does like sneaking into the shower with him because she likes showering together but she also likes being nasty so...

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch : i feel like both depending on the verse but i can see them both doing this for each other in most verses ?? in canon its cute to think about eugene surprising cass during her break from handmaiden duties with a small quick picnic tbh because the denial is hilarious n theyre like its just a FRIENDS LUNCH n everyons lke UH HUH THATS A DATE ?? n post series cass absolutely brings him food when hes working as captain. modern cass in like any of the verses she’s with actor eugene / flynn would bring him things to set even tho they have food but she just...wants an excuse to be around him lmao dhbajkmd especially any time model cass is visiting him when he’s filming but i can see him doing the same whenever she has shoots near him ??

Who was nervous and shy on the first date : oh cass is always nervous on the first date no matter the verse because she has intense abandonment issues n thinks shes gonna lose him n doesn’t deserve love so she’s Highkey nervous the whole time until he makes her laugh n calms her down cause he just...notices she’s rly tense tbh n that helps her a lot to just ease into it n have a good time with him. but it works both ways, she can tell if he’s ever nervous n he tends to get in his head a lot so she’ll calm him down too n just place a hand on him n get his focus on her

Who kills/takes out the spiders : cass takes all spiders gently in her hands n takes them outside. however...pjo cass is the only cass terrified of spiders because Child of Athena n eugene definitely takes the spiders away for her whenever she starts to panic n calms her down after n she feels silly for it bhdjasm

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk : eugene does, he’s a louder drunk than her n it’s way easier for him to yell that he loves her to everyone... but she also has the tendency to accidentally blurt out her feelings for him when she’s very, very drunk. or in actor eugenes case, he confesses to her while SHE’S blackout drunk n won’t remember :\\\

[kodzukoi]

ADKAODKAPODWD IM LITTERALLY IN LVOE WITH ALL OF THEM BUT LKE

CHERRY AND JOE<333

AND REKI AND LANGA HELW

I LOVE WITH CHERRY SO MUCH IM USING IT AS ONE OF MY NAMES DOIJWOW

I HAVESO MANY HCS OF THEM TOO BRO BUT I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH SK8 HAS TAKEN OVER MY LIFE

KLSJDFOIWEJRLSKDFJWEORIJSDLKJF CHERRY IS SO PRETTY AND OMG JOE :0000000000 i forget which ep but u know when it was joe v someone (wanna say langa... i need to rewatch omg) and cherry was on the sidelines like "that idiot" but still knowing each little detail ab him- HOLD ON PAUSE PARADISE JUST CAME ON THIS IS FATE SLDFJWEOIRSLDFJWEOJS- okay back to what i was saying, WHEN HE DID THAT AERIAL THING, HOLY- different point now but I WISH I HAD CHERRY AND JOE AS LIKE MY OLDER BROTHERS, I WOULD LOVE TO JUST BE AROUND THEM (bickering and everything) BECAUSE AAAAHHHHH - if i could go into any anime hq and sk8 would be what i have to choose between (and others but hq and sk8 have me some type of way - and surely i wouldn't die by titans or demons or enemy gangs-)

sk8 hcs please por favor 🤲🏻 SLKFJOWIERJLSDFJOWERI I'M SORRY FOR ASKING FOR SO MANY HCS BUT UR HCS ARE JUST SO GOOD

[okjimin]

actually... it was namjoon who extended the invitation bc he thought nicki's rap would go well with the song. ): he's an idiot idk

ok like....i dont lke nicki but her rap is easy to sing along to likewhats good korea i been a boss my whole career hands in the air hands in the air rubber bands in the air if u getting money rubber bands in the air!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[photonconductor]

i dont have an ao3 but shout out to my homeboys

once upon there was a gay on th e moon bc of a really lovng alternate au idea where elc turened BAD and klaus had a 1000 year nap and it'd take too long to fucking explain this so just roll with it ok. this gay--its elcrest btw hes also a Bad Boy now; he rly likes hot topic and thinks those t shirts with sarcastic sayings are actually rly funny but we all know they aren't--was feleing emo bc he couldn't see his bf xen o bc he betrayed him. so he stayed in his room whining abt how fgay he was until eve showed up

"hey whats wrong elc mother is here for u" even tho shes like 5000 years old and looks like shes 2 and also a rock (but im not rockist guys i promise). elc looked at her with his optics shining in the pale argentate light. good thing hes the seme here bc otherwise he'd start crying. in reality he rly wanted to fucking bone xeno bc obviously they had a lot of gay sex b4 they tried to kkill his mom once nad staring at rocks all day kinda sucks.

a;so burnign alive but hes kind of over that phase.

"im sad my bf left me for 1000 years can i pls go back to earth my raging hard on can't be satisfied bc rocks. my dicks not a jack hammer even tho im jacking it all the time (thats what guys do right bitch i dont know)" eve was so offended she put her hands on her giant rock self thats not just herself. its rly fucking complicated shut up u came here for the gay sex not instructibles on how physical forms manifest.

"we dont say ROCKS in this household young man!!!!"

"ＢＵＴ ＭＯＯＯＭＭＭＭＭ sorry i forgot to turn off my seme voice lemme adjust my mic it happens when my dick is hard" elcrest coughed twice "ok sounds good, BUT MOM I RLY NEED TO NUT. YOU KNOW NUT I'M SAYING... ITS ALL OR NUTTING BUT MOSTLY NUTTING IN XENO'S SWEET HOT BUNS"

"stop talking abt nuts u disgusting boy fine, god, if u leave me alone u gaylord"

and then eve punched him so hard in the dick that elcrest landed on earth in a giatn crater. how hes still alive is bc he still had some continues left like in mario even though this is a srpg game. once elc recovered he struck a pose and laughed evilly while twirling his mustache.

"finally...... I have RETURNED for xeno's hot man breasts! the world cannot stop me now!!" he cackly cackkled and quickly ripped off the fake mustache he put on just for this one scene. then elc went on a quest to find where klaus was and bc the author is too lazy to write any tansitional scenes.

elc found him chilling in his bed reading a book that was called Sweets and You: Do sweets make u inherantly Gay? elcrest made the PFFT noise. ofc they make u gay, fuckiing idiot book. he could write better than that author. in fact, elcrest was gonna do that when he got home bc obviously if this trash is published any shit elc wrote would be good.

NO! he had to focus! but he couldnt stop staring at xenos man boobs and felt his dick get hard again. elc got a nose bleed too bc thats what happens in anime right. i played persona 4 i know what im about

"damn u xeno." elc said thru his nosebleed and klaus looked up bc the author cant fucking rmemeber who is klaus and who is xeno and was surprised i remmebred his name but could not remember remember the 5th of novemember

"what"

"XENO IT IS I" since h e was caught red handed he just kickflipped through the window anyway. he did a sick flip then stood in the middle of klauses room. klaus made a gay gaspp

"alto! what are u doing hre!?" klaus said, bc in this AU that was his codename. elc wanted to be currently doing that but eve said no. fuck his mom. except please dont bc i know you sick fucks are thinking abt it.

"I HAVE COME TO BRING YOU BACK TO THE GAY SIDE, XENO WE HAVE COOKIES. bc i really miss that bammin slammin bootilicious sex we used 2 have and you are in fact bammin slammin bootilicious. also have u heard the word and gospel of our savior mother" elc said gayly

"dude no please stop preaching in my house im a changed man now" xeno pirouetted out of bed

"cmon man im ur seme u cant refuse we made like a yaoi blood oath u cant go back on ur word" elc pushed him back on thebed bc he'd have his ass yet anyway so no real use getting up. bc what is consent anyway hes Bad

"o shit really huh" klaus paused in thougt and bad elc laughed evilly. his plan was working!! all he had 2 do was the final touches! i mean besides touching xenos dick or whatever we're not yet. sorry u have to suffer for ten more paragraphs for sweat boy on boy. elc then turned around an produced a kitty keyboard from the recesses of his coat tails. xeno made the :O face and elc sat down bc playing while standing rly fuckin g sucks

"i wrote this for u on the moon so you'll be hypnotized by my sick beats" then he pulled the mic out of the keyboard and made a sick beatbox noise. No i dont know what the fuck it sounds like just google it. klaus blushued and made another gay gasp and elc made the >:3 face

then be started to play the piano keyboard. he was playing cruel angel thesis, their theme song that they had decided at 1am while xeno was drunk af.  it was their theme song despite none of them speaking fucking japanese but they just felt it in their SOULS. it was rly gay. elc was going so fucking hARD that his hard on was getting 40 hard ons. and thats four tens the hard ons. and its rad.

except the ebst part was it was all in meows so it spoke 2 klaus' furry soul.

klaus nyaed softly in surprise and suddenly all his memories of being xneo were restored!!! he gave into the desire that he craved in his soul and opened his big man arms bc for some reaon everyone thinks dudes are thirsty af. dont ask me why

"elc1!1 pls take me!! but be gentle my ass hasnt been ravaged in 1000 years (sick reference to hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort like, comment, subscribe for more sick referneces like this one)" xeno mewled like afucking furry and elc nodded once. xeno walked up to elc an touched his man boob sensually even tho xeno is like 60 feet taller than elc just imagine it ok

elc now has sunglasses just bc i think its a funny image

"xeno...... lets do it" elc said softly

"o h elc senpai......." xeno meowed

"and i'll keep my sunglasses on bc i hate the sun #moonlifeforever" and xeno gayzed into his emotion shields sensuallyier. then elc kissed him passionately and their tongues battled for dominance but we all know klaus is a fucking bottom bitch as stated in hilda and altos magical wedding night by sorunort paragraph 17 and 18 bc it was a dialogue.

then elc ripped off his clothes bc hes fucking JACKED and jACKED OFF and xeno gay gasped forlike the third time in this fic. elc was fuckign shredded. legends told of his abs but this time it was real. almost like the fact that shaved ice flavors dont actually exists the syrup is just food coloring.  his dong dangled in the breeze and xeno was turned tf on so he took off his clothes too bc hes not a god damn animal god whats wrong with u elc.

except elc didnt take off the sunglasses like he promised so those were still on dont worry readers i got you covered.

"get on ur knees dude and give me a wet willy but like on my dick" elc demanded

"wtf no"

"dude u cant say no its a smutfic"

"ok yeah i guess i kinda do like sucking dick or somethign"

"PREPARE TO EAT YOUR LAST DICK, XENO" elc cackcled and then xeno succed his dick like no tomorrow. elc practically creamed right there bc he couldnt get his rocks off on the moon for 1000 years (hahaha no im not gonna stop makign rock jokes). also xeno has no gagreflex bc he succed dick like a thousand times. once that was over elc just punched his dick in xenos hot cross buns and xeno meowed again

"why are u still a furry after 1000 years" elc asked but continued to Ravage The Promised Ass

"do u nyat like it erucu-kun???" xeno purred and elc shook his head

"no ur still banging its ok"

NUT THEN (i wanted to write but but i typoed and decided to keep it its funnier this way) xenos ass started 2 glow with a new holy light

"WHAT tHE FUCK" elc yelled

"my ass was actually the only way we could turn u good again! the more u fuck me the gooder u are!" and elc gasped gayily! no! his plan was working against him! he could alredy feel the goodness (haha get it bc fucking is hot i guess) turning him good! he had 2 pull out but found he couldnt. xeno was just too bammin slammin bootlicious

"HOW DARE YOU TRICK, I, ELCREST THE CONDICKTOR" he roared and xeno was tuned on again bc roaring is prolly a furry thign im not a furry im sorry

"it was for ur own good elc bc i love you!" xeno dokied so hard there were shoujo sparkles and even elc got shoujo sparkles. his azure optics glew like stella glow and u could almost see constellations in them. except there were sunglasses so u couldnt actually see it but the reader can. xneo was right. he was his tru ��love..... not the Mother..... his mom was lame anyway all she did was talk to rocks

"xeno.............." elc said wiwstfully before bangin xeno harder. their bangin was so intense everyone could hear it in the kngihts barraks. it was so loud that even ana in her coma woke up for like a second to be like The Gays are At It Again. soon enough the banging was sucessful. elc glew in a beautiful magical girl ligtht and he was become good again. xeno shed a single tear but licked it away

"im cured! xeno ur ass did it! plus that was hot" elc smiled and im pretty sure xeno cried bc look at that man. hes so beautiful. please take the $2 from my purse. they embraced in a gay way. it was cute and xeno did a thumbs up and ana's face appeared at 20% opacity in the bg and she was also winking

"elc i am so glad u are back and i love u" then they made out. for a rly long time too bc theyre so fucking GAY good lord how could stella glow keep this under wraps. then they decidd they had to punch eve in the rock bc she was a dickw hile elc was being emo and stuff. BUT FIRST, xeno got porked lke 80 more times b4 then bc 1000 years does a lot do u.

the end remember to like, comment, subscribe for more fics like this one, seeya

[sadiiomane10]

headcannons that i wrote with sej but never posted :( but anyway here ya go (1)

when hendo scores that screamer, marko cant believe what he’s seeing, 

“WAS THAT GOAL REAL LORIS WAS IT REAL” “YES MARKO IT WAS REAL

okay loris being like hendo’s gonna score and when he does loris like OH YESSSS I WAS RIGHT and Marko is like….holy shit you genius….

so now marko is totally in awe of loris and they start taking about random shit with interruptions of OO HES GONNA SCORE not, and crying on each other when we conceded, 

marko and loris are #total bros, they are like the same type of person its weird

i can imagine loris being so outraged when we conceded NO NO WHY HIM NOT HIM THIS IS ANNOYING

, AND MARKO IS ALL NOOOO, and getting a little scared at loris’ non chill but hes kinda the same, and there both swearing or something and klopp looks back and grins cus these are his sons, and they totally learnt from him,

 zeljko smacks him on the arm and tells he shouldnt be proud that his footballers are swearing 

okay but klopp jumpping to his feet and opens his mouth to scream and then he just hears this massive FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!! and turns around to see loris and marko on their feet and klopp is like….well ok…did my job for me then 

and they see klopp looking at them and they get all shy and embarrassed and sit down and klopp laughs but there back on their feet the next minute,

 LORIS AND MARKO TOTALLY GO ON ROAD TRIPS AROUND ENGLAND TOGETHER, marko has totally found the buddy who’s willing to travel england with him 

 BECAUSE MARKO HAS THE NICEST CARS IN THE WORLD AND LO CHERISHES THEM SO MARKO MAKES HIM HIS ROAD TRIP BUDDY

and its totally like ok like the most lit thing ever and they take so many pics and they have the same taste in music and they take turns driving and stuff,

they totally #bond on there road trips and marko snapchats the whole thing and loris sends emre and sham cool pics, and they come to training with so many stories

and dejan and emre are ultimate bantz bros and dejan is like why didnt u congratulate me on my goal emre 

and emre being all like  pssshhh anyone coulda scored that. hendo had the beauty and dejan scoffing and smiling bye

dejan totally ruffles emre’s hair and everyone else is like how hasnt dejan lost a hand yet.

 cus dont touch the hair dude

klopp worked out that the third kit is a curse and he got sick of loris and emre whining about the disgusting colour, which klopp doesnt get why lo does it cus the dude has to where it all the time, 

but he still moans, and well klopp cant be bothered liistening to it, and he put them away in storage, anything for his fave german sons

Pleeeease klopp the toxic green is horrible to wear 😩😩😩 klopp: loris your kit is grey??? Loris: yeah but emre won’t shut up so I’m suffering too

klopp shakes his head cus he dealt with mario and marco at bvb but these two are wORSE 

And hes like FINE, and tells the kitmen to hide them or something cus he aint putting up with this,and emre is so pleased now he doesnt have to wear it but he teases the fuck outta loris and lo is like im telling klopp to bring them backkkk just for you, 

and emre is proper fiesty on the pitch and loris is like

“really emre picking another fight really”“do I have to fucking babysit u or what. whats ur problem emre”. “he fuckin tried to touch my hair”. “the bitch ill fight him for u”    

GIVE ME MY PHONE LORIS, Wait up em , emre tries to grab it, LAST ONE EMRE COME ON 

que the slap round the head from emre

and lo does it AGAIN but emre doesnt know and for ages emre isnt getting messages everyone thinks he’s giving them the cold shoulder and he’s like??? wtf???? then sees all the pictures which are like different angles of lo’s hair

 cue emre storming into the dressing room everyone like oh shit its going down and emre  just glares at lo and is like “YOU!!!!”

and everyone is like trying not to laugh cus oooo serious shit, and then loris just fucking bursts out laughing and every1 is like ……what and they start giggling too and emre is like USE UR OWN PHONE LORIS , and hes like but ur camera is better, WE HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME PHONE, …….idk man i like ur camera better, 

but really he only does it to make emres life hell

snapchat videos of the game from his angle asdfgh"emre takin out a guy no. 2958"“hey emre say hi!!!” “what are you DOING?…..hey guys [smolder]

LORIS PUT THAT PHONE BACK WHERE IT CAME FROM OR SO HELP ME

emre totes said that him

“WHAT YA GONNA DO? FOUL ME? oh no shit wait i take that back”

loris following emre thru anfield with his camera like “hey guys emre looks good, zooms in super close to his hair, look at that perfection”, emre being affectionatly  annoyed

emre chasing him, loris being like  EMRE NO IM SORRY COME ON, emre getting lo in a headlock and screwing up loris hair 

a lot of people have been asking whats in your bagpack” “no they havent” “ok no they havent but im asking” loris rooting thru like heres emres gel, ‘its wax’ whatever same thing emre, and heres his wallet, ‘leave that aloneee loris’ and heres……  'LORIS LEAAVE MY THINGS ALONEEE’, loris running off with the bag down the hallway, and the sc vid just full of frantic running and giggling and shouts of LORIS YOU FUCKING SHIT GET BACK HERE,

 LORISSSSSSSSS

 AND LORIS TRIPS OR SOMETHING AND THE STUFF GOES EVERYWHERE AND EMRE IS LIKE LOOK WHATS YOU’VE DONE but lo is too high on life and the video ends with p much just having a laughing fitl

and he looks at camera just in tears and like this grumps is angry with me but I DONT CARE and emre trying to grab his things and some of the other lads coming round the corner like whats going and seeing lo pissing himself laughing on the fall makes them laugh and soon there all laughing and emre wacks lo on the arm and laughs to

 and before you know everyone is liking posting videos and pictures of what just happened and the rest of the world is just like???? eh????and they have really cryptic captions like “WAX [crying laughing 

and like some time later they peel themselves off the floor still giggling some and emre is like u alright and lo is like yh and its like nice and not bantery and its all good and so much love 

and yesss everyone is hella confused on social media but this team just full on loves on each so much and its amazing 

everyone loves lo, i cry, 3 months at the club and everyone is already in love with him every1 fave goalie, i bet they randomly turn up at his house and just crash and chill out, cus well he lets them all in and hes super chill and everything 

 he got his hair cut everyone was fighting to touch it

poor dude has noo food left in his fridge, but hendo goes shopping and brings him things when he comes over cus hes a good captain and he takes care of our baby goalie and loris was swooning in the love and they literally made a line the fricking idiots

and just like at really quiet moments when someone’s stood next to him they’ll just reach up and stroke his hair and he’s just like….what you dooooin…

 bet u a million dollors adz did that him, i bet u anything that really happened one time, and lo gave him a look like wtf and adz is like ur hair is so nice and soft and lo is ???……..ok then and adz is like u have the best hair on the team 

and hendo screams over ACTUALLY EMRE HAS THE BEST HAIR ON THE TEAM, que arguments between #married couple no.1 and #married couple no.2

emre being all smug like hah i have the best hair and loris being like nah bitch i do and hendo being lke emre has the best hair and adz being like have u felt lo’s hair its amazing and klopp being like im going back to bvb, where things were normal and my players didnt fight over other peopls hair

god can you imagine like everybody filing in on these four full blown fighting and Milly and studge are like BREAK IT UP cos it sounds so serious and then they hear hendo scream ADMIT EMRE HAS SILKY SMOOTH HAIR!!!!

klopp walks away ashamed with his head in his hands, zelkjo is considering leaving, ads is close to tears, studge is in hysterics, lo pissing himself laughing, emre being like hah bitch i win, and loris walking away like whatev’s dude im still better than u and emre following him cus they need to continue arguing, its their thing,

 hendo being like alright ok dont cry ads and then he cuddles him, 

mils being exasperated and considering a move away from all this hectic mess ,

 they all go back to training but klopp is missing and everyone is like ……..what happened to him and zeljko being like hes prolly packing his bags cus u lot are idiots,

 que scared looks and extra hard commitment to training,

cus kloppo is more important than hair and loris being like see emre u scared off our mananger, and em being like MEEEE u started it , their bickering never stops ,

and hendo goes to find kloppo like a good captain and he’s just in his office ruining a stress balll

really hendo are we fighting about hair in training, hendo blushes and is like …….sorry…..but emre /does/ have the best hair. 

klopp shaking his head like i expect this from the baby germans but u and adam, come on hendo,

 but kloppo he does, yh he does but we dont fight about it in training and dont make adz cry, hes my fave son leave him alone,

 hendo- so ur not running away, klopp shakes his head and laughs cus zeljko honestly, but hendo feels proud cus klopp agrees that emre has the best hair and thats all he wants, 

adz can stick it, but hes not gonna make him cry again, klopp might kill him    

[vittcrs-blog]

hello! hello! i actually didn’t realize i was joining in the middle of an event so i apologize if this is hella trash!?!? ykes, anyways, hiii! here’s my baby victor and he’s an oldie vamp. there’s a few bullet points down below abt him and his trashy self? if you wanna read that (i do not recommend) beware of how horrible my son iss! i also changed my url so fhdjs i’m a mess.

『 AARON TAYLOR JOHNSON. 』— was that  VICTOR DE ANGELIS  i just saw in new orleans? the 1000+  year old VAMPIRE ? but they can still pass off as THIRTY. apparently, they ARE NOT here for the crystals, but who knows? they’re known to be THOROUGH and WISE, but don’t let that fool you, because they can also be IMPATIENT and DISTANT so keep an eye out for them; you never know who you can trust.

okay so since we got that out of the way lemme say a few things

FIRST, his actual name is vittor, it’s italian ‘cause ya know ma boy here is 100% italian? but as the time went by he decided to ‘’modernise’’ his name to victor? and everyone just calls him that.

b4 he was turned, he was a noble man ( like both meanings ) and had a pretty good life. he had just been married to this girl and he was in loove. until, he was out late at night after an important ‘’meeting’’ and liek u know wrong place ‘n wrong time.

i don’t wanna give too many details abt how he turned cause i wanna plot it out?!? so hmu someone to sire him? it’d be hella cool!

anyways, when he  realized what he was he just disappeared?? and left his pregnant wife behind oops?

i have this hc where he learns that he has a family ( up until now ) and kinda keeps an eye on them and protekt them? his like gran gran gran graaaan children. idk.

but after living that many years, he fought the first and the second war ‘cause he was *pls don’t laugh* bored and it was just fun to find new ways to kill the peeps. also by then he was living in england so no worries. also he had a pal there and homeboi actually died and there’s nothing victor could do about it and it was the first time he felt powerless and he swore he would never feel that way again.

THAT’S HOW HE BECAME A FCKING A HOLE. thanks.

jk but he’s absolute shit. i wanna say he’s inspired by niklaus but vittor is his own kind of fucking idiot?

he. has. no. feelings. whatsoever.

kills for the fun of it, no fucking empathy, doesn’t value a single thing.

if he wasn’t as strong as he is now, he’d be dead because he never backs down from a fight and never let his weakness show? so he could be two minutes away from death and he’d say some shit like ‘’i would rather die than see your face for one more instant.’’

no one just doesn’t fucking know anything about him?

despite his despicable self, he’s pretty manipulative and can charm someone’s panties off bc he talks and acts like a gentleman?

deep down he is one but like he’ll open the door for you & let you walk in front just so he can stab u in the back.

CAN SOMEONE JUST, SAVE HIM FROM HIMSELF? PLS & THANKS

a few plots i’d be hella down are: the one who sired him, 1 or lke 2 old ass friends that despite his ugly ass sticks with him and deep down he loves ‘em to death, his family?? like 1000 years later and such? but like graaaaan daughter or graaaaan son? that’d be cute, also someone he hateS? but like he loves to hate them? and when the other says something like i hate u he’s all like ‘’whaaat? meee?’

if yall didn’t believe i was a mess b4 what about now!? huh!? anyways pls like this or hmu ‘cause im an angst hoe and will go to incredible lengths so we can torture our children.