#he has pathetic white boy swag

[insomniac-jay]

Should I add John Constantine to the Red Table?

[kylejsugarman]

In your opinion, Are there any underrated Jesse Pinkman sexy moments?

I think some scenes that are criminally overlooked are of course showing the cartel how it’s done and calling them out for their dirty equipment all while being scared going to be stuck in Mexico.

AND in end of Rabid Dog when he calls Walt on the pay phone and then gets in Hank’s car looking so proud of his new plan to hit Walt where it really hurts.

ooh it definitely sounds like his rare moments of confidence and pride are sexy and they definitely are because theyre the rare moments we actually see him kind of happy 😭 im definitely very soft for him being happy but especially when hes like. trying to act like he has swag and is cool when in fact he is numbingly wet and pathetic. those season 1 moments where hes still trying to play up his epic white boy persona and be all grungy and disaffected are so hot because i know there is nothing beneath that bravado and hes actually just a little guy. him trying to flirt with the cashier at the gas station. him trying to flirt with jane when they first meet. like he does succeed because hes super cute and absolutely Knows it, but there's still this like underlying smallness that makes him not super intimidating and more like i could easily mount him. also his hands 🥺

[twiggyart6]

collecting short funny things to write under fanart of characters you really love

please feel free to add more thank you :3

(this is long as shit be prepared)

ough

looking at them

my friend :)

mwehehe

augh

I can't believe this

brain blasted

what a little freak

do you even care

be so fucking for real

your kidding

what a weirdo

a wonderous creature

consider this

from my personal collection

what the

I'm so normal

I'm not normal

why are they like that

evil swag

TEEHEE

I'm gonna frow up

yeah this is pretty cool

pretty fucked up dog

have you seen this?

my beautiful princess

I'm ill

oh good heavens!

my son. he has every disease

this shit aint nothin to me man

I laurve them

yoink

just a little bit. as a treat

tell them to stop

me when I GET you

MY GUY

the psychic worm (wohwohwohwohw)

good lord

cuteness aggression towards them

what the fuck ever

im feeling something

sigh

me when the

GRRAAAHH

im fucking serious

love it when they appear

its becoming unhealthy

go white boy go!

your never gonna believe this

worst guy ive ever seen

their just so ... drawable

sorry guys

i saw it in a dream

she is very gorgeous to me!

i see them when i close my eyes

my little scrungle

be so fucking for real

i can do whatever i want

bitch

yeah

my baby girl

my little kitty meow meow

they've done something to me

i gotta get outa here

yep

my favorite white man

dude!?

full of joy a whimsy

going cray cray!

well....

erm

heyy gurl wasup

she is beuty she is grace

aaaaanything could happen

just like me fr

its time

yahoo!

divine retribution

yay!!

so was foretold in the prophecy

their so ... woah

yessir

god. fucking. damn.

they understand me

you are not immune to propaganda

Explodes character with mind

Forgive me

I would tell them my most depraved thoughts

for the win!

my treasure my beloved

awesome

oh yeah woo yeah

thats it thats the post

this above all else

-INHALE-

had to get it out of my system

you absolute baby buffoon

but make it epic

dont question it

gay baby jail

mwah <3

i want to make them into bread

no guys you don't get it

i got nervous

every fuckin time man

[puts face in hands and groans loudly]

no way

DONT DO THIS TO MEEEEE

take a deep breath

stupid little bow wow

cringeposting once again

abandon society, embrace insanity

god has let me draw another day

had to do it

changed my brain chemistry

so the thing is-

im going to make you so girlfail

pathetic wet cat

guys.

their neat idk

or something like that

ATTENTION!!

i have the disease and its terminal

shrimply amazing!

hits you with the beam

smile :)

send help

oh hi didn't see you there

no i will not elaborate

the creature is demonic in nature

i think there's something wrong with them

i think there's something wrong with me

its fine

woah woah woah

do you even realize what you've done

very cool

do you see my vision

whatever the fuck this is called

the strugler

interesting..

oh i got you dont worry

nobody move

character on the brain always and forever

#1 hater

funny you should say that

nature is healing

imagine a guy. now imagine them again

ooo mama

get drawn idiot

get obsessed over idiot

if only they were real

post this character instantly

your honor i need them

ive got some notes

A juicy morsel

I want to push them down the stairs

They wouldn’t dare

(Eyes wide and mouth frothing) yeah!

my beautiful wife <3

[prince-rosalium]

So, what is the Parf cast's favorite desserts?

this is gonna be long.

the age old question. i have never answered it here, but it is the question i get the most about my characters.

val- tiramisu. whenever i go to my favorite boba place, or to the bakery, they always have tiramisu, and my husband and i joke that val possesses my body at that moment. i, an entire adult, put on my best sopping wet dog face and let val's pitiful voice pass from my brain through my lips as i resist fingering up the bakery glass so the workers do not have to come clean up my pathetic fingerprints. "ough. tiramisu."

dash- lemon poundcake. it's the simple things. he's good at making it and good at eating it. he's good at many things. my daughter is very talented.

lupine- this guy is where we expect to get some like, super niche tea dessert from the wuyi mountains but we must remember. his new york italian boy swag makes him especially impartial to rainbow cookies, which i will include a picture of because i have heard people putside of ny don't know what these are???

layers of almond-flavored dense little cakes in the colors of the italian flag sandwiched together with raspberry jam and covered in chocolate ganache before being cut into little squares. eat them. find an italian bakery near you and eat them. but make sure the ganache is soft and the cookies are moist. the dry ones will be underwhelming and you will want to cry.

saturday- she likes marshmallows and very light cakes. like angel food cakes.

luci- white rabbit candy and any white rabbit desserts like the little white rabbit ice cream tubs?? yeah. but hes, in general, a pre-packaged junk food guy. guy can appreciate a good chocolate bar from the drugstore. some nice reeses cups.

tiff- cake pops. the pinker the better. she is miss starbucks unicorn cake pop.

oberon- he talks about rock candy in act 1 but he's also a big fan of dark chocolate. like, highest cacao count (bonus if it has cacao nibs) bitter, waxy dark chocolate.

donna- she likes a good italian rum cake

it was my grandmother's favorite and i am guilty of making my italian characters so italian. this whole sponge cake thing is soaked in rum syrup and topped with a little cherry. we would get these for my grandma from the italian bakery before she died and sometimes itd just be a plain sponge cake with whipped cream and a cherry and it would be SOPPING WET with rum.

toulouse- cream puffs. choux cream. give them to her give her one of those.... big ol tubs of frozen cream puffs. (do you guys get those or is that also just an italian thing...? the big plastic tubs of cream puffs?)

it's got a handle and everything. you can take this shit out like a picnic basket.

kenny- i had to ask his voice actor this one because i was actually stumped. kenny and his voice have a spiritual connection. sometimes he knows kenny better than i do. this is what he said

i think this is pretty accurate. i do think that he loves ice cream trucks, but he prefers chocolate to vanilla. still with cherry dip. eclairs are already kind of a household staple because of toulouse's love of frozen prepackaged cream filled desserts.

betty- fucking dirt cups

you drag her to a toddler's birthday party she'll clean you the fuck out of these

[our-flag-means-death-ao3feed]

You can blow what's left of my right mind

by wretched_wren

It's there - sat pathetically on the edge of the trashed bunk, fumbling with the leather at his ankles - that a ghost strides right on in.

Ed yelps, his voice is shrill, edge sharp enough to cut. "What the fu-"

"You're up!"

He’s… he’s really…

How the fuck did he get in?!

Ed would have heard if he'd blown the door off its hinges, wouldn't he? Who the fuck does he think he is, grinning like that after exploding a man's door, smirking with his stupid fucking moustache-

Oh Christ. He has a moustache. Holy fuck.

...

Or, the reunion smut where Stede saunters in with his white boy swag and Ed doesn't know what hit him.

Words: 7201, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Our Flag Means Death (TV)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Stede Bonnet

Relationships: Blackbeard | Edward Teach/Stede Bonnet

Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Bottom Blackbeard | Edward Teach, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Top Stede Bonnet, A reunion fic? Where they fuck? Groundbreaking, yes! I am back on my bullshit, there are some minor angsty bits but mostly this is silly okay, Competent Stede Bonnet, in which stede doesn't actually know what he's doing but he's That Bitch okay, immoderate use of italics

source https://archiveofourown.org/works/43038297

[tiredlinguist]

rocky horror

lkfjlsdfjljflkenfk.nekfnelkfne,f.f nfkenkfn

brad majors - blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most). hes a white boy w brown hair and glasses. thats ME as well. we have so much in common

rocky - scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped). he just has himbo energy hes so golden retriever

riff raff - scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave). i think about Him

that one background dancer with the really cool fit that i was obsessed with when i saw this show live - glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week). they were so. ahsjhdjshha

brad majors (again) - poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave). i mean come on

none of them really? maybe eddie - horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason). idk even. hes made of chaos

magenta - eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell). its between her and riff raff but imo riff raff has more swag. so. bye

[allegra-writes]

"Cherry"

Peter Parker x SHIELD Agent! Reader

NSFW

Warnings: Smut. Dom!Peter, jealous, Possesive!Peter, rough sex.

Weeks after the island, Peter finally sees you again. But you aren't alone...

Part of the "Fine Line" series but you don't need to have read that first.

Series Masterlist

Peter couldn't breath. His clothes felt stiff and restrictive, the bowtie, suffocating. This was a bad, bad idea. He wasn't cut for this. He was just a Parker, not a Stark, he had spent most his life trying to be invisible, not even getting superpowers had changed that. He had never wanted to stand out. He didn't want to be seen, to be recognized. 

Even Quentin Beck had realized that. That's why he had done what he had, because he knew it would be the best way to ruin Peter's life. It had been almost a month since his return from Eroda, since Pepper and Fury had managed to clear his name and expose Quentin Beck as the fraud he was, trying to frame Peter for his murder with an adulterated video out of jealousy and envy. The greedy, insane employee gone mad after being overlooked in favor of the young intern, chosen by Tony Stark himself to be his successor. Spider-Man had just been doing his job as Peter's bodyguard when the incident at the bridge happened.

That was the official story, and the press had bought it with gusto, plastering the wide eyed boy's face on every cover, every paper, every magazine, every news site. A few weeks later, he was pretty much America's new sweetheart. Everybody knew his name. Everybody knew his face. His anonymity was gone.

Quentin Beck had won. 

And now, there he was, being blinded by flashing lights, walking the red carpet of his first gala as the official heir of Stark Industries… two seconds away from throwing up.

"Breathe, Peter" Pepper whispered to him, voice calm and reassuring, "Just focus on a point above their heads, and keep your head high" 

She took a step forward and Peter couldn't help but stare: she looked like a queen in her white gown, complete with cape and everything. She was an elegant woman but it wasn't just about her beauty, it was about the power, the authority she commanded, every eye in that red carpet had no choice but to focus on her. 

Tony had been like that too, albeit in a different way: charismatic and bigger than life. Peter wondered how anybody could look at him, awkward and pasty, and think he was related to the man. Because he knew what people were saying...

"Parker, how are you holding up, mate?" A tall, blond boy patted his back, pulling him out of his thoughts. Harry Osborn, the only person there to introduce himself to Peter and actually take the time to try and make him feel comfortable. At first Peter had thought it had something to do with his family being the one hosting the gala but the youngest Osborn wasn't exactly famous for his good manners or decorum. 

"I think I'm about to have a panic attack" more like sensory overload, but Peter wasn't sure how could he explain something like that to his new friend.

"Well, you are not hungover and puking on the photographers" The blond flashed him a brilliant smile, "so you're already doing better than me on my first red carpet"

Peter couldn't help the burst of laughter, but far from offended, Harry's grin turned even brighter. The flashes went wild.

"There you go, that should make for better photographs than the deer-in-the-headlights look you were sporting"

Peter offered him a grateful smile,

"Thanks dude, really"

"Don't mention it" Harry shook his head, "You're actually doing me a favor, letting me hang out with you. You're saving me from looking all lonely and pathetic in front of these vultures, since apparently I have been stood up..."

Peter stared at the blond in surprise. With those sharp cheekbones and icy blue eyes, it was hard to believe any girl could resist him. He suddenly felt a lot less bad about showing up dateless. 

"Alright, we've spent about fifteen minutes out here, we can go in now" Harry instructed, already a pro at this kind of event, gesturing for Peter to follow. 

He noticed the whispers as they walked into the massive lobby together, Oscorp and Stark Industries were rivals, just as Norman Osborn and Tony Stark used to be. His mentor used to find the other billionaire shady and his experiments, unethical. Even now, Pepper's and Norman's relationship was strained, at best, so seeing both heirs so friendly with each other was a little shocking. But if Harry didn't care about that, neither would Peter. Whatever sins the father had committed, he wasn't going to hold them against the son. That wasn't Peter's style. 

"So, what do you think of your first gala, so far?" Harry sauntered in front of him, stealing two champagne flutes from a passing waiter and handling one to Peter.

"Oh, I- I don't drink, thank you"

"Good, that's a wise choice, don't change it" Harry praised, taking the glass back and downing that one too. Peter shook his head.

"I like it," He replied, looking around at the huge salon decked in lavished green and silver banners, the tables gilded with intricate floral arrangements, the huge shiny dance floor in the middle. "Stark Industries' is having one for Christmas, but it's going to be held at a hotel…"

Harry made a face,

"Yeah, that would be the norm, actually. But my father wanted to have it here this year, to prove the facilities are safe, you know?"

Peter thought back to that fatidical field trip all those years ago, to this very same building, when he was bitten by a stray radioactive spider that had escaped one of the labs. He hummed noncommittally. He seriously hoped mister Osborn was right, for the good of everyone attending the party, Harry included. Because truth was he really liked his new friend, he made everything easier just by offering Peter his company, by giving him someone his age to talk too, amongst all those old, stuck up gazillionaires that stared at him with curiosity at best, and open contempt at worst. 

But of course all good things had to come to an end, such was the Parker luck. Harry took his vibrating cell phone out of his pocket.

"Would you look at that! It seems my date has finally arrived" He announced, eyes glued to the screen, smitten smile on his face, "One would think an influencer would jump at the chance of being photographed by the press at a red carpet… But not her, of course. No, she arrives an hour late… I'll go find her, be right back, Parker"

That was when he saw you. Entering the ballroom, a siren in your long golden dress, scanning the crowd. You looked stunning, hair longer, lighter, done in elegant waves cascading down your back.   Your smile was dazzling as you found what you were looking for, and Peter didn't see his new friend make his way to you, entranced as he was by your mere presence.

Until he reached your side, and kissed your lips. 

Harry Osborn offered you his arm, and you took it graciously, and he walked you through the room, proud swag on his steps as he introduced you to practically everyone in the party, Peter's heart breaking a little more with every step you took towards him.

He hadn't heard from you since the island, and now he knew why: You had already found someone new. Someone better, more handsome, and classier than Peter. Than the awkward boy you had been sent to protect. 

Because underneath the Stark's money and his spider powers, that was all Peter was: some orphan kid from Queens who didn't belong. Harry could take you on dates to fancy restaurants without mispronouncing the names of the dishes, he could take you walking around his mother's art gallery in the upper east. He, with his aristocratic features, his british boarding school accent, his old family money, was a much better fit for a princess like you. You wanting Peter had never made much sense anyway. 

And you looked good on Harry's arm, better than ever, actually. You looked happy. Peter hated it, and he hated himself for it. 

"Parker! I want you to meet my date, Sixtine Boucher, influencer, it girl, philanthropist..." Harry was saying, suddenly in front of him, but Peter wasn't listening. You were there, close enough to touch, in the flesh. He could hear your heartbeat, smell you, sunshine and sweetness under the chemical tang of your expensive perfume for the first time after so long and it was almost overwhelming.

"S-Sixteen?"

"Sixtine" You corrected him, sighing as if it was something you did all the time and you were tired of it, "Bonsoir, Peter."

You sounded… funny. 

"You know each other?" Harry's voice asked, politely curious.

"We met during vacation, at the…" You trailed off, eyes meeting Peter in a silent request to play along, disguised as a struggle to find the right words, “... Comment dis-tu ‘plage’ en anglais?”

"Beach" Provided Peter, his brain catching up at last "Yeah, at the beach… when I was on vacation… a-at the french riviera"

"What a small world!" Harry chuckled but it sounded nervous, uncertain. No doubt he could feel the tension between the two of you, growing with every passing second. Along with Peter's understanding. The hair, the dress, the french accent? It was a costume, you were a spy after all. You weren't there for leisure, you were there for work. This was a mission. Harry was your target, or maybe your cover. Whatever it was, it wasn't you. It wasn't real. 

But then again, had Peter really met the real you? After all, not that long ago he had been your mission too…

When the next waiter passed in front of him, Peter stopped him. It probably would no nothing to his spider metabolism, but alcohol was looking more and more like a good idea. He had a feeling he was going to need all the help possible to get through the night. Harry arched a brow but luckily didn't comment, as he was beginning to get a clearer idea about how you and the brown eyed boy knew each other.

A glint on your cleavage caught Peter's eyes and he frowned. There, hanging from a long gold chain, nested between your breasts and almost completely hidden by the, admittedly low cut, neckline of your dress, rested a familiar crystal sunflower. The cheap jewel didn't match your cover, or your outfit, the only reason why you could be wearing it, was him. 

He nodded, almost imperceptibly, letting you know he understood, and you let out the breath you were holding. 

But awareness didn't make watching you, plastered to Harry's side all night any easier. It didn't stop him from seeing red every time you called Harry "baby", the endearment close enough to the "baby boy" you used for Peter to feel like a betrayal. It definitely didn't save the glass of wine he was holding from shattering under his grip as he saw you sneak outside of the room with him in the middle of dinner.

"Peter! Are you alright?" Pepper fussed over his hand, looking for cuts, and motioning to a waiter to help clean the shards of glass from the table.

"Yeah" He murmured, distractedly, eyes never leaving the doorway you had disappeared through, "I-I'm sorry, you'll have to excuse me"

He didn't even wait for Mrs. Stark's reply as he got up from the table, giving chase to you and your date through corridors and elevators, following your giggles and the faint trace of your perfume. His persecution led him to the upmost floor of the building, where a single mahogany awaited him, but the fingertip scanner on the lock told him he wasn't going to be able to open it. 

He cursed, barely catching himself from making a dent on the wall with a punch. You were doing your job, that was all, he repeated, like a mantra. Whatever was happening behind that door meant nothing. You were wearing his sunflower, that had to mean something, it had to.

After a few minutes, that felt like hours to him, the door opened.

"Peter! Shit, I was hoping you would be smarter than to follow me!" You hissed, as he pushed you back, stepping inside the room and closing the door behind him.

"Where is Harry?" 

"Knocked out in the bathroom" You pointed at a door by the side. Peter took a look around the room, by far the biggest, most luxurious office he had ever seen in his entire life. And he had been inside Pepper's so that was saying something. The view of the Manhattan skyline through the floor to ceiling window was nothing short of breath taking. "I just needed him to get in here"

"Right. Of course. I knew that" 

You squinted in suspicion at his flat tone,

"Pete, are you… jealous?" You smirked, amused. But Peter wasn't in the mood for your teasing, his patience finally reaching its limit.

He was on you in a heartbeat, pushing you back against the wall, caging you with his body. There was a dangerous, possessive spark in his eyes that you had never seen before. One that promised trouble for you. 

"So what if I am?" He challenged, bracing himself on one hand on the wall next to your head, the other one slipping through the high slit on the skirt of your dress, fingertips digging on the sensitive skin at the inside of your thighs, "So what if every time I saw him put his hands on you tonight, I wanted to break his fingers? What if every time he kissed you, I felt like dying?" 

The pain was evident in his voice, breaking your heart a little. But this was you, you were a special agent, this was what you did. Peter had said he wanted you, wanted to get to know the real you. Well, this was it. 

"I'm not going to apologise for doing my job…" 

"I'm not asking you to" He interrupted

"Then what are you asking of me?" 

Peter pinned you with a long, considering look and you did your best not to squirm under its intensity.

"I'm not asking anymore, mon chérie " he finally spoke, "I'm taking"

He crushed his mouth, and his body, to yours, trapping you under his familiar weight and, for the first time since returning from the island, you felt home. He tasted like wine, and the cherries from dessert and heat. You had almost forgotten how his warmth felt like sunlight against your skin, until every starved pore opened to soak him up. His teeth grazed your bottom lip, making you moan. God, how you had missed him on your lips! 

You must have said it out loud, because you felt his smile against your jaw as he broke the kiss to let you breathe. 

"Did you, now?" He inquired, nuzzling down your neck, "Where else did you miss me, cherry?" 

You felt his long, talented fingers find their goal, tugging your underwear to the side, slipping into you with no warning once he realized how ready you already were for him.

"Did you miss me here? Did you miss me inside you?" 

There was a buzzing in your coms and the reality of what was about to happen, andwhere it was about to happen hit you like a bucket of cold water. 

"Peter, wait, not here!" Peter ignored you, lips latching onto the spot just under your ear that Peter knew made you see stars. He couldn't wait, couldn't tear himself away from you, from your body. You were already breathing hard and he knew your halfhearted resistance wasn't going to last much longer. He speeded up the movement of his fingers inside you, tearing an involuntary cry out of your mouth. He was working you expertely, wave after wave of wetness bathing his hand, undeniable proof of your pleasure. 

"Gonna leave so many pretty marks on you..." He promised, puncturing his words by biting down, hard, on the column of your neck, "Everybody's going to know who you really belong to..."

"Peter, please!" You sobbed, implored.

"Want me to stop baby girl? Really?"

You shook your head no. You didn't, you couldn't. Fuck the mission, fuck Oscorp, you only wanted to feel him. It had been too long, way too long. You took your coms out of your ear and smashed it under your hill. You'd deal with Hill later. 

Peter slid the straps of your dress down your shoulders, lowering his face to your exposed chest, all wet lips and hot tongue as you hurriedly undid his button and zipper, finally freeing his angry, hard member. You pumped him once, and he bit on your nipple with enough strength to draw a single, sweet drop of blood. 

"Oh god… feels so good" Peter's words were muffled against your collar bone, as he stretched you, burying himself deep inside you, as far as he would go, "being one with you again…"

"I missed you" You confessed, "so much, baby boy!"

Peter leaned back, stormy eyes capturing yours, holding you hostage,

"Oh no, my cherry, after your little stunt calling Harry baby all night?" He tsked, "No, you don't get to call me that anymore… now, you're gonna call me 'daddy'"

With that, he started thrusting up into you roughly, hips almost cruel in their onslaught as they slammed into you, truly railing you against the wall, unyielding, unrelenting. You wrapped your arms and legs around him, holding on for dear life, taking what he gave you like a good girl cause that was what Peter needed from you. 

But god, did it feel good! His large thick cock, hard as vibranium, stretching you to your limits, a fit so tight you could feel every bump, every vein, as he hit all the secret spots inside you, tearing the pleasure out of you. Your orgasm was building fast, so fast it made you dizzy with the way all your blood rushed to your center. As your walls began to quiver around him, and you met Peter's fierce, furious face, you knew he wasn't going to be satisfied with just the one. Oh, no, he was going to rip out at least one more orgasm from your ravished body before releasing you. Undoubtedly not before marking you from the inside with his own release, you had long ago learned Peter was animalistic like that, all higher reasoning disappearing when it came to making you his. 

"Tell me you're mine" he breathed, demanding, against your cheek, hand sneaking between your bodies to tease your pearl, making you explode in sensation, and prolonging your climax, keeping you there where he wanted you, right on your peak until you were at the edge of sanity, your brain unable to process that much pleasure so suddenly and for so long.

You tried, but you couldn't remember how to form words, the only sound leaving your lips a delirious,

"Peter!"

"Say it, my cherry" he insisted, feeling his own release approach much quicker than he would like, but it just had been so long, and he had missed you so much and you just felt so fucking good  "let me hear you say you're mine as I make you come again…"

"Yes!" You cried, finally finding your voice, "I'm yours, Peter… only yours!"

"Damn right… all mine… only mine…"

He was almost there, and judging from the way your muscles were tensing and locking around him again, Peter knew you were too. But something was going on outside, his super hearing catching the sound of the elevator doors, and footsteps on the hallway. Still, he couldn't stop. He was so close, so fucking close… He had to come, had to make you come, before they did. There were voices outside, one of them he even recognized, telling the others to stop, to listen. Peter sneaked an arm around your waist, getting you away from the wall, moving you up and down his cock at inhuman speed, and he finally felt you fall apart. He came with a final cry of triumph… right as the doorknob started to turn. 

Faster than any human could, he ran behind the door, with you still in his arms, to buy himself a couple of seconds as he slipped out of you, fixing your dress so you were completely covered before even thinking about tucking himself back inside his pants. 

"Oh, for fucks sake!" Norman Osborn's exasperated voice was the first thing your pleasure addled brain was able to process as you stood on shaky legs, Peter's frame still hiding you from view. He took of his suit jacket, helping you put your hands through the sleeves and fastening it close.

"Put down your weapons, you goons! High security breach?.. Horny teenagers are not a menace, I should know!" Norman was still yelling at his guards. Peter turned around to face the old man, and you muffled your histerical laugh against his sweaty back, breathing him in. 

"S-sir… sorry, we-we we-were just" Peter babbled, trying to catch his breath.

"Oh, save it, boy! I know exactly what you were doing, this whole place stinks of sex!" 

You snorted and Norman finally seemed to notice who you were,

"I'm sorry, weren't you my son's date?"

You could only laugh harder.

"He passed out" provided Peter, as innocently as he managed, "in the bathroom"

"He's in the…" the billionaire's eyes widened, "Wait, you… you three were…"

"He really liked Peter" You announced, unhelpfully, fake accent restored. 

"Ignore her, please" Peter sounded apologetic, not wanting the blonde boy that had so kindly offered his friendship to him to face unjust consequences for his own fuck up "Harry has nothing to do with this. My girlfriend was just trying to make me jealous. It worked. Harry's only mistake was to get drunk"

Norman rolled his blue eyes, so alike his son's,

"A common mistake for him. Trust me, boy, you don't need to make excuses for him… God knows I got tired of making them myself a long time ago." He sighed, gesturing to his guards to check on Harry inside the bathroom.

"Now, get out of here, both of you, so I can call the cleaning crew… not Tony's son my ass, this is the exact same shit your father used to pull at all my parties!"

Peter opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, but you tugged on his arm, it was pointless to try and deny it, Osborn senior was never going to believe him. 

Peter took your hand,

"Right. Of course… we'll be… going, then"

You chuckles at his cute, nervous babbling became a full on belly splitting laugh as you ran out of the office and locked yourselves inside the elevator. 

"Oh my god, his face!" You clutched at your stomach, doubled over, "that was… the best alibi in history! They didn't even search me!!" You showed Peter the tiny pendrive with S.H.I.E.L.D's logo where you had copied all the information inside Norman Osborn's computer. Peter tilted his head in confusion,

"Six, where were you even keeping that?!" Osborn's security might ot have searched you, but his own had been… pretty thorough. 

You merely winked, 

"Wouldn't you like to know, weather boy?"

This time, it was Peter's turn of barking a laugh. He pulled you to him, kissing your forehead.

"Come on, let's find Happy and tell him to get the car. I want to get out of here…"

And he was taking you home with him. 

To be continued...

[schwaaggaamonstaardoodootheclown]

STAR WARS JEDI: FALLEN ORDER(..OF MAKING STAR WARS JEDI KNIGHT GAMES). BEWARE THE DISNEY DERP!

https://steamcommunity.com/id/SchwaaggaaMonStaar/recommended/1172380  

I cannot overstate that this game, IS SO NOT FUN. Anyone who believes otherwise, is a low-down, dirty, mangy, filthy, flee-bitten, ball-sniffin', toilet drinker.

Annoying. Everything about this game is so Focking aggravatingly annoying. I hate absolutely everything there is to hate about this game. I hate that it's called Star Wars, because I've owned practically every Star Wars game ever released, including Galaxy At War, DICES epic abortion fail, Battlefront Rebooted, and The Old Republic before it was free. Star Wars' stand-alone single player games were LucasArts' bread & butter; they were an industry standard, and the companies flagship. Now that ship has tanked.

Interactive In-game tutorials… need I say more. Yeah, I don’t know anybody who doesn’t enjoy having the game, game-splain to you how to play the game, while playing the game (it’s like a cut scene on crystal meth).

Did I mention it doesn't save your progress the way you think it should. Yeah, kiss that new swag goodbye if you don't push through enough of the story line. I had five stim when I signed off one day. The next day, I have three. Three, people!!! Besides, you can't pick up any guns you get off downed storm troopers anyway. Kyle Katarn had a million guns, about a billion grenades, thermal detonators, trip mines, all before he had a light saber. Jeez-Us, I miss that TENLOSS DISRUPTOR RIFLE right now!

Who decided that walking was no longer a thing? Yeah, whose idea was it to get rid of walking? He moves like a Ree-Tard; the guy can’t just walk. Nope. Just lurching and running, lurching and running. It does not play like Star Wars, it doesn’t feel like Star Wars, and Kyle Katarn would never have been faced with such lack of choice in his decision making. First contact with storm troopers, this guy hulks out with a light saber?

Basically, the entire beginning of this game, which is time consuming, functions as an interactive cut scene, in that you have to play it to a certain objective point, before it even allows you the option of simply quitting the game. That’s right. You cannot quit playing this game until you complete the initial story line of a functioning quazi-gameplay tool that plays out like an in-depth in-game tutorial designed to get you accustomed with avatar movement. Don’t believe me? The moment you meet Second Sister by yourself, and she says, “Going somewhere?” Let go the controls. The game plays itself. ‘Esc’ all you want, there will be no option allowing you the luxury to ‘quit’ until the platform creator’s conceptual agenda on how this game is played, is serviced in full. 

Let me try and put this into perspective for you; they shelved, 'STAR WARS 1313', a game they knew was better, made by George Lucas, himself, & LucasArts, for this bowlshyt.

Combat is a travesty, wonky, clunky, no style, no grace. Force powers are a shambles of what they used to be; no mind tricks, no stealth, no sophistication, no lightening bolts coursing through the fingers. And you really miss that stealth when you're the kind of person who doesn't play the way they made this game, the only way it plays. Movement is a f**king nightmare, lack of fast travel, even in a Star Wars, yet one of an innumerable plethora of poor creative decisions. Once you fix the scomp link, you want out of there! Plain & simple.

OMG the DERP! The Disney Derp! If Disney spent as much time writing, producing, creating, and programming as much as they did derping down your favorite icons, superheroes, and the like, they might actually produce something worth it's salt. But, boy, do they love derping. Forget about force abilities, or the lack thereof, it doesn't matter what this kid, Cal, can or can't do, because they didn't put any power behind it. This has got to be the weakest goddamned, white trash, trailer park, food stamp, welfare, homeless, disability, hillbilly, Jedi Knight fockface, ever! If force abilities was a gun, and force power was bullets, he'd have a clip with three paint balls in it.

Remember the glory of Kyle Katarn throwing everything including the kitchen sink around the room with ease. Yeah... hold on to that thought.

Whoever thought it was a good idea to come out with 'The Force Unleashed' where you're just basically smackin' everything in the mouth with your dyck, then derp the force power out of force abilities for this schyt-show in a dumpster fire, should be flogged within an inch of their worthless, pathetic friggin lives.

And don't even get me started on just getting the game started in the first place. Downloaded twice?! Through Steam & Origin?! Still had to overhaul Origin files, reset my PC, ... etc, I'm talking command prompt (admin) schyt... 

Let me just give anyone trying to load or start or play this game a helping hand: 

RESET ORIGIN 

1. If Origin is running, close it from the task manager to make sure every version of it is closed, then...

2. Hold the Windows key + R.

3. In the command box that opens, type %ProgramData% then click OK.

4. Open the Origin folder and delete all the files and folders inside it except for LocalContent. Do not delete that folder.

5. Hold the Windows key + R again.

6. In the command box that opens, type %AppData% then click OK.

7. In the Roaming folder that opens, delete the Origin folder.

8. Click on AppData in the address bar.

9. . Open the Local folder.

10. Delete the Origin folder in there.

11. Restart your PC and log back into Origin.

FLUSH DNS - WINDOWS 10

1.Hold down the Windows Key and press X.

2.Click Command Prompt (Admin).

3.Type ipconfig/flushdns and press Enter.

4.Type ipconfig /registerdns and press Enter.

5.Type ipconfig /release and press Enter.

6.Type ipconfig /renew and press Enter.

7.Type netsh winsock reset and press Enter.

8.Reboot your computer (then smack urself in the face).

Yeah, that's just to get it running... The whole game is a sad satire of the glory of what Star Wars used to be. I miss Kyle Katarn something aweful...

Happy gaming (he said facetiously).

[schwaaggaamonstaardoodootheclown]

STAR WARS JEDI: FALLEN ORDER(..OF MAKING STAR WARS JEDI KNIGHT GAMES). BEWARE THE DISNEY DERP! https://steamcommunity.com/id/SchwaaggaaMonStaar/recommended/1172380 I cannot overstate that this game, IS SO NOT FUN. Anyone who believes otherwise, is a low-down, dirty, mangy, filthy, flee-bitten, ball-sniffin', toilet drinker. Annoying. Everything about this game is so Focking aggravatingly annoying. I hate absolutely everything there is to hate about this game. I hate that it's called Star Wars, because I've owned practically every Star Wars game ever released, including Galaxy At War, DICES epic abortion fail, Battlefront Rebooted, and The Old Republic before it was free. Star Wars' stand-alone single player games were LucasArts' bread & butter; they were an industry standard, and the companies flagship. Now that ship has tanked. Interactive In-game tutorials… need I say more. Yeah, I don’t know anybody who doesn’t enjoy having the game, game-splain to you how to play the game, while playing the game (it’s like a cut scene on crystal meth). Did I mention it doesn't save your progress the way you think it should. Yeah, kiss that new swag goodbye if you don't push through enough of the story line. I had five stim when I signed off one day. The next day, I have three. Three, people!!! Besides, you can't pick up any guns you get off downed storm troopers anyway. Kyle Katarn had a million guns, about a billion grenades, thermal detonators, trip mines, all before he had a light saber. Jeez-Us, I miss that TENLOSS DISRUPTOR RIFLE right now! Who decided that walking was no longer a thing? Yeah, whose idea was it to get rid of walking? He moves like a Ree-Tard; the guy can’t just walk. Nope. Just lurching and running, lurching and running. It does not play like Star Wars, it doesn’t feel like Star Wars, and Kyle Katarn would never have been faced with such lack of choice in his decision making. First contact with storm troopers, this guy hulks out with a light saber? Basically, the entire beginning of this game, which is time consuming, functions as an interactive cut scene, in that you have to play it to a certain objective point, before it even allows you the option of simply quitting the game. That’s right. You cannot quit playing this game until you complete the initial story line of a functioning quazi-gameplay tool that plays out like an in-depth in-game tutorial designed to get you accustomed with avatar movement. Don’t believe me? The moment you meet Second Sister by yourself, and she says, “Going somewhere?” Let go the controls. The game plays itself. ‘Esc’ all you want, there will be no option allowing you the luxury to ‘quit’ until the platform creator’s conceptual agenda on how this game is played, is serviced in full. Let me try and put this into perspective for you; they shelved, 'STAR WARS 1313', a game they knew was better, made by George Lucas, himself, & LucasArts, for this bowlshyt. Combat is a travesty, wonky, clunky, no style, no grace. Force powers are a shambles of what they used to be; no mind tricks, no stealth, no sophistication, no lightening bolts coursing through the fingers. And you really miss that stealth when you're the kind of person who doesn't play the way they made this game, the only way it plays. Movement is a f**king nightmare, lack of fast travel, even in a Star Wars, yet one of an innumerable plethora of poor creative decisions. Once you fix the scomp link, you want out of there! Plain & simple. OMG the DERP! The Disney Derp! If Disney spent as much time writing, producing, creating, and programming as much as they did derping down your favorite icons, superheroes, and the like, they might actually produce something worth it's salt. But, boy, do they love derping. Forget about force abilities, or the lack thereof, it doesn't matter what this kid, Cal, can or can't do, because they didn't put any power behind it. This has got to be the weakest goddamned, white trash, trailer park, food stamp, welfare, homeless, disability, hillbilly, Jedi Knight fockface, ever! If force abilities was a gun, and force power was bullets, he'd have a clip with three paint balls in it. Remember the glory of Kyle Katarn throwing everything including the kitchen sink around the room with ease. Yeah... hold on to that thought. Whoever thought it was a good idea to come out with 'The Force Unleashed' where you're just basically smackin' everything in the mouth with your dyck, then derp the force power out of force abilities for this schyt-show in a dumpster fire, should be flogged within an inch of their worthless, pathetic friggin lives. And don't even get me started on just getting the game started in the first place. Downloaded twice?! Through Steam & Origin?! Still had to overhaul Origin files, reset my PC, ... etc, I'm talking command prompt (admin) schyt... Let me just give anyone trying to load or start or play this game a helping hand: RESET ORIGIN 1. If Origin is running, close it from the task manager to make sure every version of it is closed, then... 2. Hold the Windows key + R. 3. In the command box that opens, type %ProgramData% then click OK. 4. Open the Origin folder and delete all the files and folders inside it except for LocalContent. Do not delete that folder. 5. Hold the Windows key + R again. 6. In the command box that opens, type %AppData% then click OK. 7. In the Roaming folder that opens, delete the Origin folder. 8. Click on AppData in the address bar. 9. . Open the Local folder. 10. Delete the Origin folder in there. 11. Restart your PC and log back into Origin. FLUSH DNS - WINDOWS 10 1.Hold down the Windows Key and press X. 2.Click Command Prompt (Admin). 3.Type ipconfig/flushdns and press Enter. 4.Type ipconfig /registerdns and press Enter. 5.Type ipconfig /release and press Enter. 6.Type ipconfig /renew and press Enter. 7.Type netsh winsock reset and press Enter. 8.Reboot your computer. Yeah, that's just to get it running... The whole game is a sad satire of the glory of what Star Wars used to be. I miss Kyle Katarn something aweful... Happy gaming (he said facetiously).