#he seems like more of a cat person
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Hear me out please,,,
Imagine a control devil Aki, hypnotic spiral blue eyes perhaps and maybe,,, maybe reader being this version of csm but Aki isn't after pochita, no he wants you
He sees through you and he knows he wants to keep you as his personal pet. He's so serious at the workplace but to you he's such a sweetheart,, he loves you so much his pretty little pet
He doesn't need a silly little leash and collar to let you know your his, his handprint on your wrist from those nights he claimed you, the bites on your neck and just his smell all over you alone let's you know that you're under his control
I'M ACTUALLY SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT THIS UP BECAUSE I WAS THINKING OF CONTROL DEVIL AKI A FEW MONTHS AGO AND NOW I CAN RAMBLE ABOUT IT
aki who is the control devil and head of division four instead of makima.... aaah with the cool spiral blue eyes, and I also imagine him wearing the trench coat and loafers that makima has, maybe a more formal hairstyle too, like half-up and half-down ponytail. thinking of him with makima's powers, like when she squished people in the shrine scene.... his large hands...
I feel like control devil aki would be just as intimidating as makima, but he still clearly has a softer side underneath all his coldness. and he still has a strong sense of justice, so he only uses his power on those he thinks deserve it. he doesn't really need to use his powers to control people anyways, because his appearance and his status as the division's lieutenant is usually enough to get him what he wants.
and that brings him to you. you're so easy to please, so loyal to him to a fault. you're always so obedient, you listen to every command he gives you without asking twice. you're someone he's found to be worthy of his protection, and worthy of being his pet.
#thinking about control devil aki who's lowkey a stalker using his power to watch you and make sure you'll be safe#and he controls people to make things go your way#thinking of the one finger biting scene but with you and aki instead....#I feel like instead of having a billion dogs at his house aki would have a billion cats lol#he seems like more of a cat person#thinking about going on a casual movie marathon date with aki#the scene where you would ask him if you have a heart and he presses his face to your chest#IF THE READER IS CHAINSAW MAN WHAT ABOUT THE SCENE WHERE THEY FIND DENJI IN THE WAREHOUSE#BUT INSTEAD IT'S AKI HUGGING YOU#you ask him what you'll get to have for breakfast and he'll probably tell you he's the one cooking for you#our brains are so aligned right now#who else sees the vision.......#ask mags#aki <3
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people will think im ordinary until they say one (1) thing about tmnt and all of a sudden im explaining the entire lore starting from the 1990’s movie & why donatello is the best turtle i fear… T^T
tag limit fights me… i must yap… please listen… SOB </3
#tmnt yap in the taggies !!#would you believe me if i said my cat is named after donnie… teehee !! ^_^#i have been a tmnt lover since i was the ripe age of 6 years old SOBSOB#i used to write bf headcanons on wattpad way long ago… thats where my love for writing started i fear…#i probably have more tmnt merch than i do anime merch which is soso crazy to think about PHEW !!!#notebooks cups plushies legos shirts pajamas stickers tins action figs keychains name something and i have it… is that weird… SOB#im not joking when i say i know the entire lore and could explain everything from start to finish… FOR EACH AND EVERY REBOOT EVER…. wowza…#other than rottmnt because i’ve never been a fan of that reboot sigh…#the only reason donatello hamato isnt on my blorbie list is because i do not want to seem out of touch… he used to be there though !! :3#also i love raph too sigh#i fear donnie was my start to my love for nerdy men… raph was for the mean ones… cough cough akaashi and bakugo#tall lanky men… yeah hes a turtle… i know… let me speak… pls… i beg… T^T#tmnt 2012 will always be my star my light my beloved#i can recite every single episode </3 ALSO THE 2014 & 2017 MOVIES DONT GET ME STARTED i have them on dvd :3#i also have the 1990’s movies on dvd teehee theyre sososososoo good T^T my comfort franchise forever and always#i may always speak of anime but just know tmnt will always be the start of it all and my most beloved <3 its everything to me#also i was and still am an avid tmnt 2012 april oneil hater someone get her out of there i loathe her >:/#was never a supa big fan of leo im very sorry… idk who im sorry to… where are my tmnt fans… am i alone in this world… hello… tmnt fans…#omigosh im back after looking at my old wattpad story IM GIGGLING why was the writing kinda good… it was first person though sigh… goodness#i should create my own tmnt yap tag i fear… i will never shut up about it EVER SOBSOBSOB !! i even had a tmnt party when i was younger </3#donnie ( & mikey ) are so misunderstood UGH i could yap about the lore all day. donnie deserved more recognition he was always doing so muc#FOR ALL of his brothers and they never appreciated it… ill cry right now. donnie you will always be famous to me. april doesnt deserve you.#raph and his temper are so misunderstood too like please. always making him the bad guy HE JUST WANTS TO BE A GOOD BROTHER HES JUST AWKWARD#remembering when i had a crush on a guy names joseph in first grade and he liked tmnt too… joseph just know we were soulmates… i promise </#i used to go up to the tv and kiss the screen when donnie showed up. i was like 6 years old tho its okay… still sleep with my stuffie tho.#thank you to my yaya for buying me that when i had the flu hes still in perfect condition SOB donatello i love you so much UGH im crying#‘thats a mutant turtle ew !!’ HE IS VERY BEAUTIFUL AND LOVEABLE TO ME. YOU WOULDNT UNDERSTAND EVERYPONY </3 nia reference woah hi nia :3#whos in favor of tmnt. raise your hands up high so i can see them. im giggling. tmnt lovers rise we sha’ll prosper… WE RIDE AT DAWN 🦅🦅🦅#is this like totally crazy of me… has anyone read this far… if you have jusy know i love you. i cherish you. you are my everything <3#₍ᐢ..ᐢ₎ — lene’s latest gossip .ᐟ
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I’d love to hear your thoughts on what Eldritch peredhel entail
-@@outofangband
Sorry this took so long @outofangband and thank you for asking this I am! Delighted! And am preemptively putting a read more down because I cannot shut up about they <3
alright I'm just gonna put stuff and headcanons down as they occur to me so expect low-moderate levels of coherency
shapeshifting is an obvious one (gets weaker down the generations) but because my brain is Like This I have caveats!
thanks to my whole peredhil things=gender allegory that my brain spit out without my permission I've long struggled against my inherent feeling that while they can shapeshift they don't like it
but because I'm now aware of my brain's reasoning I can say it's because of ✨fantasy dysphoria✨
that's oversimplifying, obviously, but peredhil already have so much issues with working through who and what they are and compromising between body and mind and spirit that actively choosing to change into/present as something/someone who They Are Not is. Not usually their cup of tea.
As a whole they tend to have specific forms that they prefer as being closer to themselves, and distinct enough that it doesn't feel like they're faking something they're not
(changing to look like a different person, or a edited version of themself is Very Very not fun unless either explicitly for disguise or shenanigans)
(the exception to this is that Luthien can make herself look almost perfectly human without any real issue. she doesn't do it often but especially as she ages she likes to catch glimpses of her reflection and get both excited and sappy. this is in contrast to making herself look almost perfectly like an elf which makes her feel like her skin is on fire.)
(Also I'm pretty sure all of them can flip their agab presentation while only feeling varying degrees of off, and even then it's a different feeling than the shapeshifting dysphoria. Dior and Elwing are the two who I think mind it the most)
They all have the (agonizing to write) trait of feeling very distinct relationships to their species in their body vs soul/mind vs spirit/fea and they all feel it very differently! This isn't exclusive to Luthien's line but the maia blood does make it worse.
Oh! This is a new headcanon of mine actually but!
They all have faces that are very very hard to capture in image. They are the bane of portrait artists (and, to a degree, sculptors) everywhere because the art never looks accurate to life
It's not blatantly off it's just. missing something? Or something was added? maybe it's a little too wide, or narrow, or long, or short, in one place or another
It's not unrecognizable but if you've ever seen the subject in real life you can just tell
It's especially bad with Luthien (and Daeron) and Dior (to a lesser extent) because everyone literally sees them differently, as in their features will be slightly different depending on what each person finds attractive/aesthetically appealing and beautiful
(not a lot, again, it's not unrecognizable, but there has never and will never be any accurate depiction of Luthien as she was as a person)
(as a concept, though, as the most beautiful creature to have ever existed in Arda, a little of her image exists in every portrait lovingly made of a beloved spouse, every child's drawing of their family, in biological sketches of songbirds and field mice, in a sculpture of a stranger's face. Daeron remembers his sister perfectly, but he collects these regardless)
(Arwen, Luthien come again, isn't described as such by her grandparents. Galadriel and Celeborn both knew Luthien, and while Arwen and her father both look as closely to her as genetically possible, to those who actually know them both it's nothing more than uncanny family resemblance. Luthien was to most a concept personified, Arwen is a person with concepts imposed on her.)
The list of people who have seen Luthien how she actually, physically, defaultly is, essentially consists of Melian, Daeron, Beren, and Dior
Beren doesn't see her as she is right away because he doesn't know her right away, but they learn about each other and she shows herself and he sees her and by the time she rescues him from Tol-im-Gaurhoth there are no echoes on her face
(He's always a little bit haunted that he nearly died without realizing he'd never quite seen the truth of her before)
Neither Thingol or Beren can quite see their own features on their children's faces. They clearly take after their mothers, after all!
(This leads to much affectionate eye-rolling on Melian and Luthien's part)
Hair stuff!
It's alive! kinda! it's definitely not normal hair!
It moves a lot on its own. Sometimes like a breeze is blowing where there isn't one. Sometimes more like tentacles. It depends on its mood.
They've got some very pretty traditional cosmic horror vibes swirling around on their heads. It's very sparkly and colorful but in a Forbidden Shrimp Colors that your brain is unable to comprehend way so it reads as iridescent black mostly, or holographic white, where applicable
Luthien's hair actually is a glimpse into space, Daeron's is a glance at a star
(Luthien's magic hair cloak survives, I think, into the 4th age and beyond, though if anyone/anything has found it they certainly don't know the origins of the beautifully intricate living star map. It has seen the reign of countless north stars, yet the lines always point to the same coordinates- where the ancient, sunken, ruined remains of what once was Tol-im-Gaurhoth lay)
Speed round!
Fangs and talons and horns oh my! Are they tooth and keratin and bone, or are they petrified wood and gem and stone? Yes!
They all smell a little like ozone and a lot like petrichor, flowers, and Green. If you've smelled green you know what I'm talking about. Also, unfortunately, like bird. Birds don't smell great, especially wet bird.
Weird Foresight Powers++
(Most of them don't have actual foresight, but all of them are more in-tune with the Song than is natural for an incarnate)
Their eyes glow, most notably in the dark, unless the irises turn black as they sometimes do. They are also all unnaturally bright versions of the less-spooky parent's- Dior's are gold, Elwing's are blue-green like a tropical sea (Elured and Elurin split the color between them- ultramarine and emerald), Elrond and Elros have pale star-gold, Elladan, Elrohir, and Arwen all have silver.
(Daeron and Luthien being the exception again, because I decided they have Melian's eyes before I decided this, and I don't know what color eyes Thingol has. Watsonianly: Melian's spooky genes overwrite a lot. Luthien's genotype is probably much closer to his than her magically overwritten phenotype)
Their sclerae turn black and their pupils white, on occasion, usually when using powers
They don't bleed right. It's a little too red for an elf, a little too light for a human, and it shines strange as it beads like quicksilver on the skin
They have very shiny, cool skin. Luthien looked like her's was silver plate under a stretched stocking, the rest toned it down from there but it's still noticeable.
The Song is. Attached to them. They are all very much Main Characters. Their lives have a clear story arc with symbolism and narrative parallels. They are all subconsciously aware that their lives are a fairytale, whether tragic or no, and yes this has many Implications and affects. They are not the only ones like this, but they are the only ones who, to some level, know they are in a story.
This is the fundamental separation between them and everyone else.
The difference in how they perceive themselves between heart soul and spirit is very difficult to explain and understand, but not impossible to someone who knows them and is willing to put in the work.
The life-long knowledge that they are Important to the Song and their every choice and event they experience and their mere existence serves a greater purpose in a way that most other people simply do not- that's very, very isolating.
No one else can understand how they see the world. Very very few people are willing to try, and even fewer in a way that's not frustrating. There is a reason most of them find only one person to latch on to outside of their family, and a reason they hold on through hell and high water.
(This is about being neurodivergent)
#asks#outofangband#eldritch peredhil#gonna go into more detail about preferred shape forms here bc it's important to me but not relevant lol#luthien: nightingale/s (obviously) but also a starling and to a lesser extent various other birds- preference toward passerine and raptors#wolf and deer are both fine- wolf especially for snuggles- she can go bat and enjoy it but only after thuringwethil#(which is a whole thing for her to unpack)#dior: cat (male calico specifically) wolf and bat#and then a kingfisher starling nightingale red-crowned crane and a bird of prey (currently thinking maybe a swallow-tailed kite?)#e^2 1.0 don't actually have the same feeling towards shapeshifting bc of the whole consumed by doriath to become Entities thing#so they're closer to maiar vibes-wise than even luthien entirely was#elwing: starling beach mouse and then pretty much most seabirds#but on the whole Song's Specialist Little Guys thing#obviously its up to individual philosophy on if free will can exist in the face of Destiny#my opinion is yes but i think all of them have a different take#luthien thinks no but is happy/fine with this and thinks its very romantic. daeron also thinks no but is resigned and ultimately content.#neither of them understand the average person being deeply uncomfortable at the idea of the lack of free will#their mom is a maia this is just normal to them#dior thinks yes at first but flips around a lot through his life#its a pretty hard no post-death but when he gets reembodied he becomes deeply aware that he is No Longer Important but nothing changes so??#elwing thinks absolutely not and uses this to cope. she feels like she has so little agency already#at least if it's cosmic there's nothing she could've done#at least if it's cosmic her mistakes are worth something#(she needs so much therapy)#earendil is the only spouse who comes to fully understand this. he cant decide what he thinks. every option seems horrifying in its own way#elrond and elros both think yes and use this to cope. they can be better. they can make things better.#there may be a story but they can make it a happy one.#they're people and that has to count for something.
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autistic coded men who have orange cats my beloved
#star trek tng#star trek#star trek data#garfield#garfield jon#jon arbuckle#jetpack joyride#professor brains#jetpack joyride 2#this is my type. weird silly or otherwise quirky guys who have orange cats#brains being autistic is more just a headcanon i have rather than deliberate coding#but he's been shown to have a few autism-like behaviours and traits across the shorts and jetpack joyride 2#it's kinda stereotypical but he's more of a logical simple thinker and he finds strings of numbers to be easier to remember than names#which i find to be interesting! he just has different thinking patterns from what i've seen in neurotypicals. and it's like.#it's the autism radar. i can always tell when a fictional character seems to be Not Neurotypical because holy shit they act like me-#-or another autistic person i know!#also all these characters are like. different facets of autism and i think that's so interesting#on the left we have highly logical direct and ''idk what to do with my face or my hands help'' sherlock spin autism#and then there's slightly unhinged dorky possible ADHD combo and complete lack of social skills autism#and finally there's the evil autism#and i love all three of them <3#i just realised they're also all sitting in big comfy chairs!#jon's armchair looks so comfy though. like i really wanna sit in there#it's probably slightly dirty and most definitely scratched up by garfield but my god that's what make it more homely and comfy#i wonder how many armchairs jon has gotten over the years. i should count all the instances of him having a differently coloured armchair#anyway yeah. autistic cat dads my beloved <3
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2024 reads / storygraph
Looking for Love in All the Haunted Places
contemporary romance with a light paranormal mystery
follows a woman with ESP who gets onto a reality tv show where she has to stay in a mysterious house and document her stay - and every previous occupant has only lasted three days - and she’s determined to figure out what’s going on and get her abilities taken seriously
she’s quickly drawn to a man working on the show, and they begin a relationship - and she gets caught between him (and his cute 10yo daughter) and the house and her career goals
Black ace MC
#Looking for Love in All the Haunted Places#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#asexual books#this is okay! obviously not my kind of book - I rarely read (m/f) adult romance#and I’m always gonna want more of the speculative element lol.#I didn’t super care about the characters - other than the short middle section with Georgia I didn’t really feel her getting to know anyone#She and Maverick are just sort of immediately into each other and the one attempt to keep them apart was a bit silly#- I didn’t feel much development between them.#They’ve known each other for 3 weeks and the idea that (because of work thing) they won’t be able to see each other#for a couple of weeks is some kind of dealbreaker? what? that conflict didn’t really make sense to me.#he sentient house thing was kinda interesting but also after all that the plot seemed easily revolved in the epilogue.#The kid is cute. the cat is cute - though felt like an odd side plot#I thought the exploration of the MC’s asexuality was done well! She talks about her experiences in a way that feels personal to her.#Even if it’s not super for me- I appreciate the existence of a low-conflict Black ace romance.
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save me ushijima ….. save me ………..
#i get it now. i didnt get it at first but now i do#he’s just …. a genuine guy. a sincere guy#everytime he strikes the ball i flinch LMAOO#he’s good. i like him. i see the gap moe potential. i just know he’s a cat person#also is there anything more charming than a character who sincerely loves what they do…..#he just likes volleyball :( he seems similar to hinata when it comes to that ”i just want to stay on the court” mindset#i like him i do#daichi stays on top though <33#ALSO TSUKKI HAS BEEN INSANEEE IN THIS MATCH THAT’S MY FUCKING BOY 🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂 I SCREAMED WHEN HE BLOCKED USHI#im sooooo excited to finish this season hhhhhhhh#ari noises ✩
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that ✨💅🏾💃🕺 Single Life™. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro 😐#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like “well okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing matters” and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like “okay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okay”#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? 🧍 like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the “most reasonable opinions” guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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anyway i need more monarch a trois fics. sigh. wish i could write, i gotta draw them more at least
#the thing is i dont even know what abour if i were to request or write myself#but im thinking about a post movie setting with the monarch healing and perhaps with also some comfort about the new situation#also Spoilers but id assume the arching would be more complicated with the ventures in colorado#so its just a waiting time. time to be domestic? or speed it up by killinger helping monarch heal up and the ventures getting back to NY#orrr the monarch gets a new cocoon finally or a jet. anything he can fly in to get to the ventures#i wonder how they would continue this. theres still a lot to be told story wise. but in this case#lotsa time for feelings and getting together properly#im also thinking about how seemingly gary doesnt think about sheila That much now and it seemed to be pretty awkward between them so#id love to see them get closer. him and monarch are very close but its time for sheila#aaand id also love to explore monarchs feelings. theres gotta be a Lot of them right now - but specifically the changes about him and how#he views others and how he respects and cares about both sheila and gary and perhaps explore what could be internalized homophobia#his past remarks vs now i know its the show as a whole maturing but its also nice to just view it as his personal character growth and#feelings realization on his side...#the thing is hes a villain and they wanted to push this whole 'he says shitty things cause hes a dick. hes a villain.' thing but#they fleshed him out so much that i cant not look at him as a not that bad guy and feel for him and pity him and such#siiiigh i wanna know more. i wanna know how hed treat more henchmen now. i wanna know about his childhood after the plane crash#i wanna know if he does or doesnt feel bad about kidnapping gary. assuming monarch just went straight to henching at a young age#perhaps its so normal to him - and its so normal to gary imo. thats why they dont see anything wrong in training kids as henchmen lol#also while im at it. the monarch being the reason 24 died and the biography 21 helped write and monarchs cat that he killed#are they over that. are the last 2 things light retcons? i wannt them discussing that#maybe theres fics about it but if its not shippy i havent found it yet#me when the rarepair/trio is rare 😥😩#and i havent seen 2024 fics. where are they hiding#everything is like 2018 latest so pre movie or during or pre s7
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family picture
#me#my dog bono#and my cat violet#bono has been in my life for almost 12 years he is my best friend firstborn soulmate love of my life. he very much saved my life when i was#a depressed teenager and he still keeps me steady as a bipolar adult#recently he's started having serious health issues#a heart problem that has developed into a lung problem causing sincope#for the last few weeks he's been fainting has been lethargic and he seems sad#im afraid always afraid his time is coming soon#i remember the first night when o got him#i cried all night long thinking about how this moment would be#but it seemed so far away#he was a 4 m/o puppy#he had years to live#i was going to be at least 24 when he died#basically a whole life time away#but next month I'm turning 26 and he is just getting sicker and sicker#i honestly dont know what i will do when he passes#i wish so much that we had more time together but no amount of time would ever be enough#violet is still a baby#barely 3 y/o#a scardy cat and shy girl that likes scratches on her chin and ears#she has two dimples on her cheek and her nose is two colors#we don't know each other as well but i can feel everyday out bond strengthen#I love them both so much and don't know who I'd be without them#anyways#just something off my chest#personal#don't mind me im just feeling lonely even though thanks to them im never alone
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I'm tired of dreaming about my dad. I know it's part of processing, but I am just so tired.
#speculation nation#negative/#sometimes theyre nice dreams where i have him back. except i still wake up sad.#sometimes theyre dreams where im trying to prevent what i know is going to come. but without fail i wake up. and he's already dead.#and then there are dreams like the one i just woke up from. where i know he's dead and im feeling the full force of grief once again#bawling and bawling in-dream. with enough force that it wakes me up.#and of course. i wake up sad from these too.#it makes me think about that passage i wrote for ITNL. well over a year ago. before the Year Of Death even began.#where i wrote about vash dreaming of wolfwood. with a similar sort of vibe to this.#i wrote that inspired by the death of my grandma. who i was close with and greatly troubled by her death.#even that had nothing on my dad though. no loss has ever felt this severe before.#it's been 5 months and sometimes i feel okay. but then i feel the ache deep in my chest again#and i know im never going to be fully free from this pain.#i want to go back to the person i was before i lost my dad. to before i lost my uncle.#i want to go back to early may of last year. where life seemed hopeful and i was minimally touched by death.#only 2 deaths from people close to me. 3 deaths if you count my childhood cat.#now im up to 5 deaths of people who were close to me. and 7 if you count my sweet baby boys.#can you believe that? 4 deaths ive grieved in the past year (and a bit). 2 more deaths of ppl i knew but wasnt close to.#and 2 of them were so genuinely life-altering that they changed me as a person. my uncle and then my dad.#i still dont know who i am now. i feel so lost. i look out at the piles of boxes of my dad's stuff and i feel so overwhelmed.#im supposed to go through them. i havent touched them in months. i dont know how to even begin.#and so i try my best to keep up with my cleaning and my schoolwork. it's about all that i can manage
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Got tired of playing around with the elf boy in the character creator (I think I'll go with wine red hair) and hopped over to benchmark to test what I could do with N'jinh. And I think it turned out pretty nice. Def some changes (it's a completely different base), but I feel like he doesn't look like, too unfamiliar to me. Like I can still recognize that yeah, it's my smug boy, just with a new coat of paint on top and a few structural fixes.
^ Here's how he used to look. I made his blue eye a bit lighter shade, changed the red around eyes to more pink shade, and ofc switched the base. He actually has pvp hair right now, and I thiiiink I'm gonna go stick with that, but he looks good with his old hair too. Only complaint I have is that I reaaaally wanted him to have a scar in different place :/ Don't need the lip scar anymore with his lore changes, but would've loved if face 1 had some scar that runs across the bridge of his nose. He would've absolutely rocked that.
Also hair is different shade. I like the warmer shade old hair has, buuuuut it has the unfortunate effect of looking like this if there's any sun to be found:
So uh, I have to make a choice if I want to go with new hair or get flashbanged every time I try to gpose him outside like I do now.
#neri.txt#“keep the same shade and just pick one tone darker” yeah no can do#he uses orange base i just picked like one of the lightest options for it#so if i go ANY darker it'll go full orange#and going up on the color picker results in the first pic#i miiiiight keep it#seems like at least in benchmark creation you can't make it glow quite as badly as it currently does#anyway uhhhh i've also been rotating new lore and personality for him#he's gonna come with hawu'li to tural#i'm not 100% sure yet if he comes along BEFORE leaving or if he gets picked up there like a stray cat#but i'm thinking of making his main gimmick that he's very good in close combat but cannot use like almost any magic#maybe barely teleport for ease of travel but like. nothing else#in exchange he's indeed very good at wrestling things double his size#and maybe very durable?#like i'd love him to be very reckless during combat#because he rarely gets hurt so he doesn't really fear things#and kinda treats it more as a fun game than something that could get you killed#he'll be very bad for hawu'li's blood pressure lol#he's also gonna be another loud and kinda stupid cat#rip whichever scions get in their team#they won't know any peace while those two are awake#also edit so no one gets confused: i made the new one (first pic) without transferring his current look!#so it's not “ohh look how graph update made him look” but “hey look i completely remade his face”#just on benchmark since i'm not gonna change him yet
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Sorry i just keep thinking about the line "his nice guy act is bullshit" like that seriously is living rent free in my mind like. Like. Leader is not nice.
#his real personality...im obsessed w the idea of his real personality.......i want to know him sooooo bad#yes i will probably not like what ill find#but you know what#my mind is illogical i want to know anyway#redstrewn talks#curiosity killed the cat. the question is if satisfaction will bring it back.#what does he actually care about. other than himself. what does he actually give a shit about really. other than power.#“love will never end” “did you think this would end?” what the FUCK do those MEAN#WHAT DO YOU MEAN. ALONG WITH THE DEATH REBIRTH CYCLE AND IMMORTALITY. WHAT DO YOU MEAN.#how does he actually think about people....is he actually cold and calculated? or is he actually toxic and judgemental?#no no....cold and calculated doesnt seem to fit his savior complex doesnt it?#more like.....fake compassion? like he may be fooling himself.
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"I can't leave, Maria."
"... I understand."
#outer range s2#outer range s2 spoilers#outer range 02x02#maria olivares#isabel arraiza#big turning point for her character because up until now it's been leaving#and as isa puts it she's only fallen even deeper in love with rhett so now he's a part of her dream and she can't leave him...#i was more than a little heartbroken for her but also proud of her for being understanding and willing to compromise#thad reston count your days because i better not see you breathing >:( /j#idk if we'll be seeing much smiling from her anytime soon :(#honestly if maria walked towards me the way she walked towards rhett in that scene i would think she's coming in for a kiss#and i would NOT object#why would i reject a kiss from a beautiful woman?#i wonder if rhett told her about his and perry's fight because if that's the case she has a bit more reason to be worried about rhett being#i think she might've smiled at the white cat in levon's arms when she said “'so sweet of you to do that for us'' so i think she likes cats#i mean... she was supposed to be a vet before she dropped out i think?#honestly the best she's looked all season(besides the bed scene in 02x03)#i think her not actually saying perry's name is because he seemed to want to create distance between him and his family...#i feel like you can see the moment she decides to put rhett's feelings above her own#she knows that he's broken up about amy and maybe feeling guilty about it and wants to be there for him#probably because he is the type of person to put other people's needs above his own? and she wants to do the same for him?#god her eyes watering just breaks me...
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how to get over someone who was perfect except that he lived in another country & couldn't handle long-distance texting (yeah I know I already did a post about it when it happened hut I'm still not over it 🥲). like I legit don't think I'll ever meet someone like him again. he was the first guy in 8 years I vibed so amazingly w + he was hot as hell. fck I'll die alone
and that idiot didn't even live that far away. legit takes 1.5h by plane to get there ugh
it always has to be a fcking Italian. 8 years ago a guy from sicily, now a guy from torino. I hate the universe. why connecting me w guys who either turn out to be shtty or I can't have?
anyway, back to remind myself my boys bts would've never dropped me like this & if they can keep in touch w fans during busy schedules, tours & military, so could a dude who supposedly likes me 🥲
at least I meant enough for him to take time to explain & apologize instead of just ghosting me
anyway sorry I just needed to vent for a sec 🥲
forgot to mention that he was an alex turner fanboy and loved tae's solo album when i showed him :') and we'd listen to 90-00s metal we grew up w due to both our mums.. fck my luck really
and the fact I finished begins ≠ youth by binge watching 8 episodes right after he dropped me surely didn't help w my melancholy either 🧍🏼♀️I mean, I knew what would happen, I read the books and webtoon but it still fcked me up. my poor boyssss 😭 so yeah, everything sucks rn
#personal rant#my love life#my love life is a mess#crush#Italian guys will be the death of me it seems#I hate the universe rn#why showing me the most perfect guy only for him being unable to use his phone and keep texting me#wasn't tae and yoongi enough??#at least they're celebrities so I always knew I can't have them#why introducing me to a normal guy who I could theoretically have IF HE WASN'T UNABLE TO COMMUNICATE W SOMEONE ONLINE FOR MORE THAN A MONTH#yeah it was only a month but I have felt more for him and there was bigger chemistry than w guys I talked to for longer#not that there have been that many guys#tbh most guys I only talk to for 1-2 weeks#but the vibes weren't that high either#meanwhile w him it felt amazing right off the very start#DID I MENTION THAT HE LOOKED HOT AND CUTE AND WAS EXACTLY MY IDEAL TYPE?#Ugh why universe why I hate it here#I should just become a cat lady at this point#like I would've been open to calls or videochats too! not just texts and audios! but no#his issue was the medium and distance#legit nothing I could have done smth about#and his fcking unflexibel Leo venus and mars ofc wouldn't bend for me#like first his issue was stress and being busy#but at the end it was the phone and distance#house of cards has been on loop for 2 days..
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Poll adventure (paventure? lol) Day 12: read the small story tidbit below the poll for more details, OR just vote based on initial impression
(✦ see past poll results + further information HERE (link) ✦)
Yesterday's poll decided that The Adventurer should rest for the night in an abandoned barn ...
~
Somewhat nervous about being out in the woods alone at night, he decides to try finding a more hidden sleeping spot, further off from the path. Though with his injuries, and his exhaustion, he knows he shouldn't walk too far. He tells himself that he'll just adventure a little, only an hour or so, and if he can't find anything better by then, he'll just give up and set a tent in some bushes somewhere......
After 30 minutes, he finally stumbles across an old barn. He can't see it very well with just a trickle of moonlight and the dull glow of his flickering lantern, but it seems to have not been used for many years. Structurally sound enough (at least he hopes), yet shrouded in moss and blankets of various overgrowth..
It takes a few moments to pluck away all of the ivy blocking his path, but he soon closes the rickety doors behind him to focus on the interior. There's no space to light a fire or set up a real tent, and he'll have to block a few holes in the walls so wild animals don't sneak in, but, there are a few surprisingly clear looking sections scattered amongst all the musty hay bales and cobwebs. He chooses a "cozy" spot in the corner, hidden behind a few dusty crates. Though he tosses about uncomfortably in his bedding for quite a while, he's eventually able to fall into a peaceful sleep.….....
..
Suddenly, he's startled awake by rustling, catching a dark blurred movement in front of him. He's smart enough to always sleep wearing his backpack over his chest so nobody could just grab it without him noticing, but it seems for the first time in all his travels... someone is actually trying to. Still half asleep, he clings to the bag and yelps, pushing and tumbling away into a moldy wooden barrel after an initial struggle. He pulls himself up to face the hooded figure now looming above him, entirely obscured aside from their vague cloak-ish shape outlined by the faint moonlight behind them..
The Adventurer calls out in a shaky attempt at an aggressive tone, "Wh-wh.. whAT are YOU DOIng? WHo-whu..UHHH??? aahhhG"
"Give me the bag." The hooded figure speaks in a smooth, stern, yet calm voice, slowly taking a step forwards. The cat scrambles to The Adventurer's side, hissing and giving a low growl..
"w-WELL , uh,, sORRY , n-NO , I would rrrather not DO THAT, I h-- I uh-- I don't have even anythi- I don't even have ANYTHING, I mea- wh-wh HWaAt d-do I look RICH to you?? EUggh-" he gulps loudly, holding back nervous vomit, "B-BACK OFF!! you-.. f- uh.. THIEF!!!!!"
The hooded figure pauses for a moment, as if re-strategizing how to approach the situation. "Look, kid, I don't want to hurt you. But I need you to give me that egg."
"WHWh-what egg? I-I don.. DON'T have an EGG, I'm uh…aCTUALLY a-allergic to eggs, s-sso-"
"The egg that's in a wooden box. In your bag. Don't waste your time bullshitting me.. Come on, let's make this quick." The hooded figure extends their arm, motioning to be handed the egg.
Still desperately fighting not to throw up everywhere, The Adventurer simply sits on the floor, staring up at the hooded figure blankly as he tries to think.. Is he seriously being robbed for the first time? Is that like, a cool milestone, or a bad one? He's read about it in adventuring books before but... the reality feels so much different.. How can he get out of this? Strategies scatter through his mind, but he's too shaken to find any clear answers.. What should he do?
-
Additional Information
the adventurer's current main quest: follow his map to reach the abandoned castle ruins and see the rare animal specialist about the mysterious egg he has
#paventure posting#poll#polls#choose your own adventure#for the record - if he had gone to the stranger's cottage. walked all the way to the villiage. or kept walking all night. the hooded figure#wouldnt have had a safe place to corner him and would have had to wait for another day. all the other options#(abandoned barn. sleep out in the woods. etc.) would lead to the same thing#The dice lady was letting him know someone has been following him. perhaps multiple someones#I was also going to include the options 'threaten to blow up the entire barn with magic and then nobody gets the egg'#and an option for him to just throw the egg on the ground and break it#but those seem more out of character and also breaking the egg would end his quest anyway since he would have nothing#to bring the Innkeeper's brother anymore lol#also a 'tell the cat to attack the robber' option but I was afraid too many people would choose that thinking it was#funny or a cool way out of the situation when like.. realistically the cat would get hurt actually and I don't want to endanger them#or have to write about them getting harmed lol. WHICH I know is a choice. I could be like 'wow the cat is actually a#magical cat and they explode the person and win hooray!' . but it feels too far fetched given the hooded stranger's background#they're not going to be like completely incapacitated by one small cat#things must be goofy and silly and fantasy but also.. underlying realism to an extent#I held back on not making him get more injuries after sailing down a river in a dinky little raft because I really think thats probably#quite dangerous hjknjk. I stated it was a very slow moving river specifically to make it seem a little more plausible but#I feel like in real life the current would just smash your raft into a rock in like 10 minutes lol#ANYWAY.. uh oh. boy in danger!#he can get out of it though. I believe in him#somehow an unskilled swagless penniless nervousboy can still make his way in the world#(he does have SOME skills ghhgh.. just like. not really adventuring suited ones. since he just started adventuring like#less than a week ago and has no training or practical experience aside from reading a lot of storybooks)#also I know his belt thing is on the wrong shoulder... shhhh... I still don't feel good and drew very quickly and am not#going back to make changes lol
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as a possibly autistic but definitely neurodivergent person i get cats, like goddamn
people always compare autistic people to cats as a joke but there are some real similarities that don’t actually mean anything in reality
it does however mean i look get along with cats really well and get really confused why other people can’t just learn to read some (pretty obvious, in my opinion) body language stuff and get along with cats too
like watch one video, read one article, for goodness sake look at an infographic, and you might learn some really useful stuff
like here’s where to let cats if you don’t know them, here’s how to approach them, also, they can get over stimulated when being pet so learn the signs and leave ‘em alone
‘i keep getting scratched and bit’ well mf the cat bristled, gave you a warning bat, was waving their tail anxiously, had their ears back, tried to back away, and hissed
you decided to keeping on petting the obviously in distress cat, like tf you except bitch??
anyway that’s how autistics are treated too
my mom treats cats and i the same way and one of us even has words. it’s not great, and it’s damn common too
#she’s a very touch-y person#loves hugs and friendly brushes#likes to touch hair for some reason to ‘your curls are so pretty’#i back away i am obvious not enjoying it eventually i’d snap and immediately get in trouble#she likes petting cats and does so more for her enjoyment then the animal’s even if she doesn’t realize it and kids seem to understand+#+why an animal wouldn’t want her attention#if said animal runs away or hurts her she’s mad at the aniaml bc it’s obvious it’s the cat’s fault#people treat autistic (and neurodivergent) people the same way#people really need to learn how to view something from any perspective but their own#not sure any of this makes sense or is actually applicable but im frustrated and loving on my kitty#(by sitting near him and chilling bc he’s done being pet)#(we got in a ton of good chin scitches tho before he got tired)#🌿
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