#he wants to do absolutely EVERYTHING for xie lian and if any of his jobs are taken away from him he WILL pout about it

[benevolenterrancy]

I'm reading bk6 and have just met ghostfire!Hua Cheng. i am enamoured...

feng xin and mu qing are trying to be supportive of xie lian's bizarre new castle but they're drawing the line at the evil little fire demon that seems to hate absolutely everyone except xie lian

[hishoukoku]

hey, so feel free to ignore this, but i saw your blog is crazily active and you answered smth similar in the past

for some reason, I cannot get behind TGCF I cannot find Xie Lian realistic regarding his mental health.

As someone dealing with PTSD constantly I feel like mxtx has completely washed out his character. No one reacts like that especially in the grueling circumstances he was put through in his teenage years.

I feel like ultimately MXTX is romanticising his trauma especially by bringing hua cheng into the equation too.

Hey anon.

So, this is a pretty intricate subject and I don't feel like I can do it justice in a few words, so this might get a bit long.

I've read the book a few months back by now, but going through my personal interpretation and experience with this character I feel like MXTX did a fantastic job, in terms of him being realistic and identifiable as a person, despite the world around him being clearly not realistic.

We do know how 17 years old Xie Lian, his Highness the Crown Prince was someone boldly arrogant and naive or spoiled, yet he whitheld a proud, overly-idealistic sense of justice in terms of saving the common people.

But his ideals were brutally tested countless times as XianLe fell and as he was degrading from a proud, ignorant, spoiled, naive prince to someone who would rob and steal and despair and who'd ponder ruining his kingdom as he has no other alternatives.

Xie Lian encompasses a very realistic portrayal of what falling into anxiety and depression does. His overly paranoid sense of abandonment, his clinginess to friends back then and having to watch them leave, his paranoia and very low sense of self. These are always peppered throughout the entirety of the flashbacks and the present timeline.

Morevoer, Book 4 covers this exceedingly well, with him going throguh the absolute lowest moments of his life. the attempted suicide, the fact that he thoroughly believes he deserves to suffer all those consequeces, the cursed shackle being his own request, proving that he's ready to never be able to die and suffer the consequences for literally eternity.

Yet our main character is 800 years old by now. He's had a long long loooong time to desist and rationalize why his existance never forebodes well and why he's the god of misfortune, why this fate befell him and how it's equally because of the one who manipulated him and his own choices back then.

Xie Lian now (800years later) has always been presented as being broken and somewhat a defeatist when it comes to his own fate, he despises himself, he has a constant need to deflect everything with his self-deprecating sense of humour but he is someone who is still compulsively obsessed with saving the common people.

This is not only incredibly realistic but also very human of him. He makes a mess wherever he goes for the exact reason of not knowing any better, he's always indirectly affected by his past self. His descent back then was incredibly steep fast and he had little to no time to get accustomed to the absurdly difficult and grueling choices he had to make.

So now it's not that he's blissful or ignorant or uncaring. On the contrary, his fierce dettachment to his past self and utter disregard of his own safety, his stubborn persistence of holding on to his core values, are not him ignoring/"getting over" his trauma, it's him working through it, constantly and repeatedly over and over for 800 years and counting.

To sum up, there are 2 things which are unchanged with his character and those are:

- his core value: save the common people - albeit present XL upholds a more twisted toned down pragmatic version of it

and

- Hua Cheng. Since you mentioned him I wanted to touch up on it a bit.

Him showing up in different forms throughout his life as the only tangible life-guard, he's the only one teaching him exceedingly slowly but surely that he can allow himself to be happy and loved and cared for.

His cognitive dissonance regarding everything involving Hua Cheng is a direct result of how little he thinks he deserves that someone so all powerful and all perfect and handsoome would spare him any thought.

He doesn't allow himself to give in because he still doesn't think he deserves it and it takes a long time for him to start believing it. Proof that despite all the clues being there his cognitive dissonance wouldn't allow him to believe Hua Cheng (or anyone, but especially HC) would hold any emotion for such a lowly broken god. It took riddiculously much (but realistically so !) up until the confession scene for him to slowly piece things together that he finally allowed himself to believe that.

The fact that by the end Hua Cheng is the one who breaks his shackles is both literally and metaphorically proof that he's finally freed of his past self.

[princessshikky]

In case there is another person here who for some reason wanted a TGCF/TUA fusion plotbunny... This is loosely inspired by the TGCF fanfic Nude Dinner by the incredible hoarder_of_stories (btw, I highly recommend to check out their other works: very sweet and comforting, also you can just feel that the author is enjoying their work, it's always cool when the text transfers that feeling).

So. Jun Wu is the eccentric billionaire who buys and adopts seven kids with superpowers and they grow up in a toxic environment.

Mu Qing and Feng Xin are number one and number two respectively. They are constantly arguing with each other and with everyone else around them except for Xie Lian. When Xie Lian left home to live on his own, fengqing left with him, but Mu Qing couldn't handle this life for long and wanted to come back home, which lead to his argument and subsequent breakup with Feng Xin and Xie Lian. Mu Qing also spent years trying to "make amends" for his "mistake" and win back Jun Wu's favor. He's the only one who stayed with Jun Wu until the end.

Feng Xin quickly started an affair with a girl his age (Jian Lang), she got pregnant, Jun Wu found out and tried to pay her to keep the baby, give it to Jun Wu and never see the child again (he wanted to see whether the second generation would inherit the special abilities). Jian Lang wanted nothing to do with it, had an abortion, confronted Feng Xin about the whole story and broke up with him. They never saw each other after that. In the present timeline Feng Xin works as a coach in a local gym, he also participates in fighting matches sometimes.

Yin Yu is number three. He constantly felt underappreciated and ignored, angry that Quan Yizhen was praised more than him. Eventually he got so angry he had a fight with Quan Yizhen and ran away. In the present he works for Hua Cheng (who wanted to be closer to Xie Lian and grabbed the chance to meet Xie Lian's sibling, that didn't go as planned).

Quan Yizhen is number four. He adored Yin Yu, so after Yin Yu left Quan Yizhen also didn't stay home for long. He became a successful and popular athlete with a ton of endorsements. He also doesn't hold any resentments against his siblings.

Shi Qingxuan is number five, he can speak with the souls of the deceased. His ability is pretty useless in combat, so he didn't go to the missions all that often. When Shi Qingxuan was still a teenager his biological older brother, Shi Wudu, started looking for him and demanded the right to see him (Shi Wudu could only do it once he was of legal age, which is why it took so long). Jun Wu refused, so Shi Wudu started a crusade, went to the papers, to the Committee for the Affairs of Minors and to court -- all to get Shi Qingxuan away from the abusive environment. He eventually succeeded. The rest of the siblings desperately envy Shi Qingxuan since they don't have loving biological family willing to go through hell for them. Nevertheless, Shi Qingxuan is such a likable person it's hard to resent him. He is another family members who doesn't hold any grudges against his siblings and loves them all equally (except for Shi Wudu, who is his absolute favorite).

He Xuan is number six (deceased). Shi Qingxuan is the only one able to see him and communicate with him. He Xuan absolutely despises Shi Wudu because of jealousy: he used to be closest to Shi Qingxuan and believes Shi Qingxuan doesn't pay him as much attention now.

Xie Lian is number seven and Jun Wu's favorite, which didn't win him any favors among the other siblings (actually Jun Wu made a conscious attempt to isolate Xie Lian from the rest of the family and make him dependent on Jun Wu's approval precisely because Xie Lian is really his favorite). Xie Lian didn't have super abilities but still wanted to be a superhero and save people like the rest of his siblings, which lead to him constatly arguing with Jun Wu. Eventually he was the first to leave the Academy. He lived with fengqing at first, then they broke up and went their own separate ways. The first year on his own was the most difficult, as Xie Lian couldn't find any job and barely had any food to eat. Officially it was because the whole family was homeschooled and Xie Lian lacked any certificate of education, but actually Jun Wu secretly did everything in his power to ensure no one would hire Xie Lian, hoping Xie Lian would "come to his senses" and come back home. However, Xie Lian was stubborn enough to survive and eventually get a stable job. He still doesn't have higher education because it's expensive and time-consuming, but his living conditions are better in the present.

At the start of the plot Jun Wu suddenly dies and the whole family (including Shi Wudu as Shi Qingxuan's moral support) comes to the funeral. Mu Qing tries to say that something about the death is suspicious (some of Jun Wu's documents are missing), but no one is willing to support him (to be fair, even if Jun Wu died from fifty knife wounds, the siblings would be like "eh, what a tragic accident, nothing suspicious here"). There are no timey-wimey shenanigans, just Mu Qing trying to investigate Jun Wu's death and the rest of the family reluctantly working with him or refusing to cooperate (i.e. Yin Yu doesn't tell where he spent the night of Jun Wu's death or where he works because he hasn't seen his siblings in years, they're practically strangers, and he doesn't want these strangers to come to his workplace or something, esp. since he works for a stalker obsessed with one of the aforementioned siblings). The family communicates, unearthes some old grudges and family secrets (fengqing spend two hours yelling at each other over a broken gameboy personally gifted by Jun Wu).

Xie Lian goes for a walk and accidentally meets a guy named San Lang (it was raining, Xie Lian didn't have an umbrella, so San Lang walked him to his apartment, Xie Lian invited him in and made him tea etc). They start dating. San Lang is very supportive of Xie Lian, spends a lot of time with him, makes him insanely personalised gifts. Fengqing are suspicious and try to convince Xie Lian that this guy is weird and his social network profiles seem fake. They even break into San Lang's appartment but find nothing out of the ordinary (they didn't have time to sneak into the attic and discover the Xie Lian Stalker Shrine).

Xie Lian starts seeing nightmares of a man in white clothes and white mask. He used to have these nightmares often in the past, when he was a child, then Jun Wu administered him some pills and the nightmares stopped. Xie Lian thinks this is his psyche's reaction to Jun Wu's death. When San Lang finds out, he offers to pay for the therapist sessions (Xie Lian refuses) and maybe adjust the dosage of the medicine (Xie Lian agrees to try). Soon Xie Lian runs out of the pills, forgets to get a new bottle, and San Lang convinces him to try to quit. Xie Lian feels better and also starts to suspect that he may have superpowers after all. San Lang and Xie Lian work together to try and develop Xie Lian's abilities. It doesn't really go anywhere until a tragic accident: Xie Lian and San Lang are attacked at the street, San Lang is injured (and looses his eye in the fight), Xie Lian uses his abilities to protect San Lang. San Lang now wears an eyepatch.

Fengqing still keep their investigation, find out that Yin Yu works for "San Lang" and that "San Lang"'s name is actually Hua Cheng. They come to Xie Lian with this information, but Xie Lian refuses to believe them. Fengqing and Xie Lian have a huge argument, remember every one of their old grudges, Xie Lian hotly says that San Lang is way better to him than his family and even helps him develop his abilities. Hua Cheng arrives in the middle of the argument, takes Xie Lian's side and throws fengqing out. In a conversation with Xie Lian he either denies the accusations or gives a rational explanation (i.e. "San Lang is my childhood nickname, I like it better than my name, that's why I never used my actual name with you").

The next day, once Mu Qing had a chance to calm down, he starts thinking: how come Xie Lian has abilities now? He decides Jun Wu must have known something and tries to look at Jun Wu's documents, finds evidence of Jun Wu knowing, but most of the information was in the documents that are missing. The other siblings deny having anything to do with it. Mu Qing turns to Ling Wen -- the AI developed by Jun Wu. Mu Qing, Ling Wen and Feng Xin manage to break into Jun Wu's computer, decode his files and access the security camera records.

Turns out, Jun Wu also had superpowers: he could get into other people's dreams and control their minds. He was the one who sent Xie Lian nightmares and made everyone forget Xie Lian had powers. He also documented everything and placed hidden cameras all over the house. Fengqing watch the records of the day Jun Wu died (there is only image but no sound) and see Hua Cheng break into Jun Wu's study room, find and read some of the documents. Jun Wu enters the room, it looks like he and Hua Cheng have an argument, Hua Cheng storms out taking the documents with him. After he leaves, Jun Wu clutches his chest and falls on the floor.

Fengqing go to speak to Xie Lian again, this time with the records. Xie Lian is shocked, but he believes them now. Together they search Hua Cheng's house, find Jun Wu's documents, which hold detailed descriptions of Xie Lian's abilities and how to access them. They also find the stalker shrine with paintings of Xie Lian, pictures of Xie Lian obviously taken without his knowledge, a couple of statues and some pornographic images of Xie Lian. Fengqing demand Xie Lian dumps "this creep" right this second, but Xie Lian still insists there must be a proper explanation. He even tries to call Hua Cheng. Eventually they reach a compromise: they need to go to Yin Yu and speak to him, since he works for Hua Cheng and must know something.

Yin Yu tells them the following: a long time ago, when Xie Lian was trying to be a superhero, he saved a young Hua Cheng. Ever since that time Hua Cheng became obsessed with Xie Lian, started gathering all available information about the Umbrella Academy, but there was nothing about Xie Lian there. After Shi Wudu's campain against Jun Wu the Academy's dirty laundry got into papers, Hua Cheng figured Xie Lian had been abused and it was Hua Cheng's turn to save him. However, by the time Hua Cheng finally had all the money and resources Xie Lian had long left the house and built himself a new life. Hua Cheng found him and started stalking him, taking pictures etc. He didn't try to meet Xie Lian in person because he was ashamed: he failed and didn't help Xie Lian when Xie Lian needed it most. Hua Cheng still employed Yin Yu and regularly questioned him about Xie Lian because he wanted to know every little detail. One of their conversations made him think of something he didn't share and start a secret project Yin Yu wasn't involved in. That's all he knows.

Fengqing are furious with Yin Yu for doing something like that to his sibling. Yin Yu yells at them, saying that even though Mu Qing, Feng Xin and Xie Lian had each other when they left they couldn't hold out long, and Yin Yu was completely on his own and Hua Cheng saved him. Fengqing don't know Hua Cheng, he's actually a good person, they shouldn't judge him by his hobbies. Xie Lian interferes saying they need to talk to Hua Cheng anyway, to question him about the circumstances of Jun Wu's death. Xie Lian calls Hua Cheng and invites him to the Academy mansion, fengqing gather the rest of their siblings. Together they interrogate Hua Cheng.

Hua Cheng doesn't deny the stalking but he denies being responsible for Jun Wu's death. According to him, his conversation with Yin Yu helped him guess Jun Wu was super shady, Hua Cheng managed to hack his computer, couldn't decypher the files but accessed the camera records and saw where Jun Wu kept his documents. He broke into Jun Wu's room, read his diaries, found out about Xie Lian's abilities and confronted Jun Wu about it, promising to disclose that information to Xie Lian. Hua Cheng "accidentally" ran into Xie Lian at the street, stole his medicine, hired some thugs to beat him in front of Xie Lian -- all to help Xie Lian unlock his powers.

Fengqing still believe Hua Cheng must be somehow responsible for Jun Wu's death. Yin Yu stands up for Hua Cheng and suggests Shi Qingxuan uses his ability to talk to Jun Wu's ghost and find out for certain. Shi Wudu is against that: he doesn't want Shi Qingxuan to talk to his abusive father, and it's hard for Shi Qingxuan to use his powers. However, Shi Qingxuan is willing to give it a try, mostly for Xie Lian's sake. He cannot summon Jun Wu's ghost, but he talks to the ghosts of Jun Wu's former friends, whom Jun Wu murdered and buried in the mansion's garden. The ghosts have haunted the mansion for a long time and have seen the confrontation with their own eyes. They confirm Hua Cheng's version of events.

Fengqing are still against Hua Cheng and don't want him anywhere near Xie Lian, but Xie Lian says he's not a child anymore, he won't let anyone else make decisions for him, and if fengqing want to stay in his life, they need to accept that. He's fine with having Hua Cheng as a partner, and his opinion is the only one that matters in this regard.

Hualian leave. A few days later Feng Xin comes to talk to Mu Qing: he believes Jun Wu died because he couldn't stand the thought of losing Xie Lian's love forever. Mu Qing has a different theory: Jun Wu deliberately stopped his own heart and killed himself, because he wanted Xie Lian to feel guilty for his death and to come back to the Academy because of that. Xie Lian personally thinks it doesn't matter: he has stopped looking for Jun Wu's approval a long time ago. Whatever Jun Wu's motives, he will not be able to ruin Xie Lian's life.

...

Cue the second season where the whole gang timetravels to 800 years ago, Xie Lian becomes an evil overlord with Hua Cheng being his right hand, Ling Wen tries to get a human body, Lang Qianqiu can copy other people's superabilities and Jun Wu turns out to be a literal alien.

Miscellaneous:

Mu Qing and Feng Xin are based on Luther and Diego, so their superpowers are superstrength and the ability to control projectiles respectively. Yin Yu can turn invisible, Quan Yizhen has superspeed, Shi Qingxuan speaks to the dead, He Xuan could summon tentacles, and Xie Lian is based on Vanya so he controls sound waves.

As a child, Xie Lian was closest to fengqing, Quan Yizhen adored Yin Yu (he still does), Shi Qingxuan and He Xuan were inseparable. In the present Shi Qingxuan is the only one in touch with all of the other siblings. Quan Yizhen is close to Xie Lian and constantly tries to give him money (he is also looking for Yin Yu). No one else is on speaking terms.

BTW, Xie Lian is trans, because a) why not, b) it was inspired by a fic with trans!Xie Lian and c) Xie Lian's plotline is based on Vanya's and Vanya is trans, fight me on this.

[nyerus]

Hi there! I'm so sorry for how long it took--this week has been so hectic! I'm so excited to answer all of these haha! I’m gonna do them all in one shot, if you don’t mind~ Prepare for a huge wall of text lol:

Xie Lian and Lang Qianqiu:

Honestly I think the interesting part of this relationship is how open-ended it is. LQQ's feelings towards XL fundamentally change after learning the truth and he has absolutely no choice but to accept the fact that everything he once thought he knew was utterly wrong. It's still true that XL delivered the mercy kill on LQQ's father, and took responsibility for that regardless, but he was innocent of the crimes LQQ "killed" him for in return. That's a hard thing to grapple with. After all, LQQ went centuries ignorant of the truth, never dug deeper, and also benefitted from that ignorance by thinking he delivered righteous retribution. Possibly also ascended from it. Now to realize it's all untrue? Such a blow for someone like that. It's not surprising he doesn't know how to deal with it. XL himself thought it would be unfair to take that away from him, but the truth is the truth, and no one could protect him from it (nor should they have had to) forever.

XL and LQQ's relationship before all that, though -- back when XL was Guoshi -- seemed to be quite good. XL was a strict but fair mentor, who wanted to help guide this child to his fullest potential. I think he saw a lot of himself in LQQ, and wanted to do right by him. (This is an interesting parallel between XL and JW, too. How they both had protégés, but XL wanted to protect his protégé, while JW wanted to break his.) On LQQ's side, there was definitely some idolization of his teacher. Understandable that he would be awed by the mysterious and skilled Guoshi, who not only saved him, but went on to become his teacher for years.

I think XL always continued to see LQQ favorably, and felt a great deal of guilt for not being able to give him a good life, free of the troubles he himself faced. It clearly weighs heavily on XL that they turned out too similar in some aspects, like how they lost people they loved. But it's clear that LQQ doesn't really blame him anymore, even if things are now awkward between them post-canon. He clearly still feels things towards his old teacher, and I think it's interesting that he kept watch over Guoshi Grave -- even had special wards around it centuries later -- and when it was "disturbed" in the final extra, he immediately went down to investigate. And he also clearly wanted to do something to help XL, but didn't know how, and was sick with guilt that he caused XL that much pain. On XL's side, he definitely didn't want Hua Cheng to kill his old disciple lol. (I also think it was very shocking for LQQ to see XL so... different than how he was as Guoshi! So much to process for him.) Who knows how they’ll ultimately turn out~

Backtracking a bit: the ending scene we get for them in the main novel, with LQQ returning the earring, is actually really beautiful and symbolic. I don't think it's a coincidence that MXTX had it be LQQ. (While realistically, he does make the most sense as King Lang Ying's descendant, there are countless ways the coral pearl could have ended up in anyone's hands.) That whole thing represents that your kindness will come back to you. It isn't for nothing. That doing good and helping others IS worth it. This is not only what XL believed, and what he wanted to specifically teach LQQ, but also what one of the themes of the novel is. Kindness is difficult, and often met with harshness or even hate, but ultimately, it is worth it. Because the difference you make for one person will last an eternity.

Xie Lian and Banyue:

I think that's a good segue into XL and BY's relationship too! They have a very different relationship than XL and LQQ. XL was able to actually impart his beliefs on BY, who continued to always follow them, though unfortunately she turned out too similarly as well. I think it's a bit too far to say that XL was like a father to her, but I think moreso XL was a guardian and role model who was present in her life for a while. But XL was also very busy during that time as General Hua. No doubt he was stretching himself thin trying to protect people, taking care of his myriad of injuries, and trying to look after not only BY but the other kids as well (including Pei Su).

Naturally, BY herself is extremely different than LQQ. In every single way possible. But she also took what XL taught her and wanted to do the right thing for others. I think her seeing XL protecting other people -- though he often got hurt (and then later "died" for her) -- was really foundational. In both positive and negative ways. Positively because helping others is good, but negatively because XL was so self-sacrificing and that carried over to BY, too. Not to mention him getting trampled to death while saving her would have been traumatic to her, though it's not either of their faults. That's war. And later, when XL finally healed from that months later, it was too late for him to even attempt to find her again. (Especially since he floated away somewhere, and is absolutely cursed with directions lol!)

Still, it's clear that BY kept him in his heart and tried to follow his principles, even after death. I think she sees him now as a bit of a mentor figure, with a great deal of respect. From XL's side, he wanted to do more for her -- and probably also saw her as a beloved student of his -- but is ultimately just glad she is alright now.

Personally, I like to think they catch up from time to time when they are free, post-canon!

He Xuan and Hua Cheng:

I think these two are definitely along those lines, yeah. Basically begrudging allies. They aren't really friends, nor do they really want to be (alas), but they know it's mutually beneficial to work together. They give each other a large amount of leeway, but definitely collaborate on what they need to. HC can give HX resources, and HX is at the very least a reliable set of eyes in Heaven (all other supposed spies aside). They don't have any reason to work against each other, and if they work together, then they both get something out of it. Simple as that.

I think the best way to describe them is that they're like co-workers. Even if you don't necessarily like or agree with your coworker, you still work with them to get the job done. Maybe you'd share a meal or a drink with each other, make some small talk, but you aren't actually buddies and you aren't gonna hang out on the weekends.

However, I LOVE their dynamic a lot lol. This makes it sound a bit boring, but I think they have a very unique relationship. Interesting that they have a lot of similarities (which is why they can tolerate each other to begin with), but they're polar opposites in so many ways.

[grumfield]

Sorry ur getting so many asks about ur comic on MDZS/CQL! I hope it cools down for you! (It is very funny though though and I love ur expressions throughout!) But since it seems like you've been reading a lot of novels since then any recommendations for me since I just started? (please note I need an english translation)

Yeah it’s a little bit much haha. But hopefully it’ll cool down. AND I WOULD LOVE TO REC YOU NOVELS I LOVE RECCING NOVELS

My absolute favorite is 2ha / Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun

Do not be fooled by the title like I was! This is not a cute fluffy story—this is a 311 chapter long angst-filled redemption novel with a complicated plot and even more complex characters. It’s honestly such a treat and I would give anything to relive reading it again for the first time. Filled with plot twists, dark content, humor, redemption, and a REALLY really good couple.

The novel begins with the main character killing himself. His name? Mo Ran (aka) Taxian-Jun, evil emperor of the cultivation world who basically went insane after the death of his unrequited crush Shi Mei (who is NOT the love interest) and razed sects to the ground, and killed thousands of people. He truly is absolutely horrible and irredeemable. The only one who ever stood up to him was his Shizun Chu Wanning—the man he hated most and blames for his crush’s death—but eventually, after Taxian-Jun imprisoned chu wanning and took out all his hatred out on him (this is where most of the dark material in the book comes from) he died too. And now, all alone and ruling the world, Taxian-Jun gets sick of it all and commits suicide, and then...is reborn into his 15 year old body, before his unrequited love dies. Mo Ran takes this rebirth as an opportunity to prevent the tragedy to come...but of course, not everything goes as planned. First: someone else has been reborn too, and they have their own agenda, and now the original timeline is getting fucked up. Second: Mo Ran comes to realize that everything he thought about Chu Wanning is completely wrong, and he realizes that Chu Wanning, despite his cold exterior, actually would do anything protect him and his other disciples.

REALLY WELL CRAFTED STORY. Favorite couple. Love the themes of redemption, because the main character really is insufferable at the beginning but comes back from that hard and you end up loving him. Nice smexy scenes. Loving couple, really tender. Uses food as a love language. They are very horny.

I cried very, very hard reading it. Like. Harder than I ever have with media. It has a happy ending though!

BE AWARE THAT THERE IS DARK MATERIAL IN THIS THO, AND READ THE WARNINGS.

Some other ones I liked:

Since you’re new, if you haven’t read the novels by the same author as MDZS, I highly recommend them, as you’ll probably enjoy them.

These are Scum Villain’s Self Saving System (mc gets transmigrated into the body of a villain from a trashy harem book and is intent on not dying so he is nice to the novel’s protagonist...which makes the protagonist fall in love with him.)

The second is Heaven Official’s Blessing, the story of Xie Lian, a god who’s ascended and descended out of godhood many times as he solves problems, and his love interest Hua Cheng, a very powerful demon. Nonlinear story with 800 years of pining.

Little Mushroom

It’s like if No.6 and Annihilation had a baby. It’s a post apocalyptic “organic” sci-fi. The main character is a mushroom who infected a human body, which is classified as “heterogenous”. The love interest is a man called the Judge whose job is to kill heterogenous organisms. It follows their relationship development in a world that tearing apart at the seams, as they learn to trust in humanity. Happy ending!

To Rule in a Turbulent World

Historical novel! Spoiled and rich young master saves the life of a Quanrong slave, and the two of them get mixed up in a variety of political schemes, while also doing things like irrigating crops and stuff. There’s a particularly good spicy scene in the 3rd chapter that I quite like. It’s a fun read, with a happy ending!

Golden Stage

Historical novel! Enemies to lovers Arranged marriage! What’s not to like. The main character is a young war hero left crippled by an ambush, and the ML is a guy who’s basically a court lackey for the emperor. They’re constantly at odds after a falling out in their youth, and are seen as enemies. That has to change though, once the main character is sent back home, for a variety of political reasons that actually make sense, the mc is set to be married to the ML. They’re a really cute doting couple, and are also very strong and intelligent.

Qiang Jin Jiu

Historical novel! Heavy on the politics and plot. Shen Zechuan is the son of the leader of an attempted rebellion, and is set to basically be a prisoner for life. The ML, Xiao Chiye, is a military general (I think) who, upon seeing the mc...immediately kicks him in the stomach and renders the Mc an invalid. It’s a very fun political book with an awesome couple who’s always at each other’s throats.

If you want any more recs let me know! I’d be happy to oblige.

[mousehole5000]

the rest... of... book 4..... through chapter 225

i sad.

“He was lying to himself and lying to others! All nothing but deceit! No matter what, it was impossible to pretend nothing had ever happened, and it was impossible to return to before!!!” - i know :(

“Before Feng Xin went, he was afraid. Now that Feng Xin had gone, he wasn’t scared any longer. But, even though he wasn’t afraid anymore, he was in deeper agony.” - ah yes. being afraid of your friends leaving so you do things to drive them away so you can have something to point to and say that you were the one who made the choice and you dont have to fear it anymore. except that has never once worked out ever and turns out losing people just means you lost them and it still hurts. not that i would know or anything.....

“He saw upon the table there were a few plates of horrid-looking dishes that were now cold. They were what he made the queen take away without eating a single bite the night before. Now, he pulled them over absent-mindedly, and ate everything, not daring to leave behind a single leaf, afraid to miss a single grain of rice. After he ate he started puking.” - this broke me and the bad cooking isnt funny anymore :(

all this happens after they have money again. no further commentary on this chapter

i know for a lot of book 3 i just wanted hua cheng to go away but now i would give anything for wuming to come and interrupt these interactions with white no-face

“Lang Ying, a brute commoner, led an army and destroyed Xianle. With the aura of the king enveloping his body, ordinary evil wouldn’t be able to come close to his person. However, at this moment, what Xie Lian brought with him were millions of souls of those who died on the battlefield!” - interesting to think about this story from lang ying’s point of view. the bit about his wife and child... oh my god... the things we carry with us...

“Will it really be alright to leave him like this? How about, I give him a cup of water?” - cup of water motif is back... ouch

“One person. Just one. Really. Just one person was enough!” - for like 20 minutes after reading this i really was just sitting here thinking about every time a stranger did me a small a kindness and the times i did the same it just made me cry harder i love people and they really can be awful and choose to be cold and cruel but it means that when they choose to be kind..... it doesnt negate the cruelty but its still indescribable.. and being able to see that and remember that even after all the pain..... 

ugh still just thinking about the times ive gone through something that changed me and having the cold numb fear that i would never be the same as i was before that i would lose some precious part of me forever and wondering if this would be the thing that finally did it... i dont know if ive ever actually experienced a piece of media that really make me think about that tbh

“Stop thinking so highly of yourself! I don’t need you to teach me anything, I can learn on my own. If you represent heaven’s will, then something like heaven’s will should be destroyed!” - why is defying the heavens so sexy.... keep it up (edit after white no-face identity reveal: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!)

the fact that xie lian went through what he did and got nothing out of it and in fact lost everything he had left due to the trauma,,,,, but just one person is enough for him to willingly offer to do it again, even if all he could save is one person,,,,,, crying again.... and who it is who takes it all on instead... ok...

“After all, everyone knew that Mu Qing ascended because he cleaned up all the remaining stubborn resentful spirits in the old capital of Xianle, so to understand it as “generous and kind” wasn’t unreasonable. In any case, everyone in the old capital of Xianle were all very grateful for him.” - its not unreasonable at all!!! this boy picks cherries for his mom and the neighborhood kids leave him alone

“Shaking his head, Xie Lian contemplated, then he ladled two large bowls of rice, one offered inside the Temple of Ju Yang, the other inside the Temple of Xuan Zhen. Finally, feeling that everything served its purpose, he clapped his hands close, completely satisfied.” - please i just want them to be friends again

ruoye........ xie lian bidding farewell to the tiny red flower.... ok i feel a totally normal amount about all these things

book 5 time!!!

xie lian king of taking a third option.. no one dies in the kiln at all we’re just leaving bitch

“Xie Lian didn’t know why he had to use his hands to cup Hua Cheng’s cheeks, but he did so subconsciously, probably so he could comfort him, but also because Xie Lian was afraid Hua Cheng’s face would be frostbitten by the snowstorm.” - gay people.....

“This giant stone divine statue must’ve been sculpted when Hua Cheng was trapped inside the Kiln, when he was severely beaten down and in intense suffering.” - ohhhh my god. okay. okay. look. i get it....

“The divine statue obeyed his command and took off with a gigantic, wide step, going along with the rolling current of snow. One slide was several miles, and the snow waves it created crashed around its body. Because both its arms were open, even though it was a body of a million tons, it still maintained good balance.” - HELL YEAH!! HELL YEAH LETS FUCKING GO LETS GOOOOO

the statue that requires transfers of spiritual energy... statue of make you kiss me i see how it is.....

“Hearing this, Hua Cheng raised his brows, his expression seeming to say, please have them beat each other to death, that’d be great.” - when you dont like your SO’s friends and they dont like you

“With a sharp sword in hand, Xie Lian was like a tiger with wings added, his might increasing exponentially, and he struck out!” - YES!!! GET EM!!!!

“No one could blame him for not knowing what was going on. Perhaps, he was confused the entire way: Why was he beaten? Why was he buried inside a wall? Why was he turned into a daruma doll? And why did he have to turn into a sword, too? There was not a single point where he’d figured out what was happening.” its okay qyz its okay i know honey me too

HELLO?? SQX IS BACK???? omg what a development omg omg okay okay interesting... okay so shi wudu would have rather died than lose everything but shi qingxuan is still trucking

“Hua Cheng responded lazily, “Oh? So you mean to say, beggars can’t save the world? Is it because they don’t have the ability to, or because they’re not worthy?” - KING okay i know this is a motivational tactic but also... who was it who took on all the souls for the human face disease and did in fact save the world back then hmmm?

absolutely enthralled by the fact that in chapter 207 we find out that the guoshi is in fact just. still here. and the name of the chapter is "Seeking Affection; Ghost King Fakes Displeasure” which i mean that happens too but fjasdlkfajsld

bruh okay. okay. okay. everything is happening okay. okay. chaos in the heavens okay. ling wen is still invited to kiss me on the mouth tho idc

“Indeed Yin Yu didn’t have enough confidence, and said weakly, “Chengzhu has shown me grace, he saved me…” “I know,” Jun Wu said. “He even helped you pacify and send off the resentful spirit of Jian Yu, who died during banishment, am I right?” - awww im glad they resolved that bit that whole situation was awful also give me the forbidden hua cheng ghost king lore...

“Yin Yu finally couldn’t take it anymore. He clenched his fists tight, his knuckles cracking, and he whipped around. “I DO RESENT HIM! I DO HATE HIM!!! BUT, SO WHAT??” - yin yu kiss me on the mouth right now

“Xie Lian hugged him. “It’s alright, it’s alright. These are all small matters, really. Your Highness Yin Yu, just live in this world for another few hundred years and you’ll know that none of that really matters. Either driven to madness or really wishing someone would die, whichever. Who in the world has never had such thoughts? I’ve even thought of massacring all in the world who had wronged me, it’s true, and no lie, I’d almost done it. But look at me, haven’t I shamelessly lived until now? You haven’t actually done anything in the end, and that’s the most important thing.” - he’s right im crying again

“But…in the end, I…still think…it’s so unfair,” Yin Yu sobbed. “If I was already destined to be no one remarkable, then at the very least, I…wanted to be a kind and perfect person. But…I couldn’t even do that. It’s really…so unfair. And truth to be told, even in this moment, just thinking that I’m dying for Yizhen, this little dummy, I still can’t get over it. I can’t even let go and die with a heart with no resentment and no regrets, what is that.” - YIN YU YOU CANT DIE NOOOOOOO youre the only man in this whole book i would kiss why does this always happen im actually really sad ;_;

“If the Rain Master was killed directly, and a better heavenly official couldn’t be found to replace her, the people put food above all else; if agriculture isn’t running smoothly, the world will be thrown into chaos. You don’t let people eat, people won’t give you a job. Besides being displeased with the Rain Master, the people of the world might also begin to be dissatisfied with the great god above Rain Master’s head. Which means, if he isn’t careful, the fire can burn all the way onto him. If things aren’t controlled adequately, it might incur riots to topple gods.” - rain master my friend rain master... also yes!!!!! food production!!!! critical!!!!!!! theres a lot you can get by without but food is not one of them!!!!!

“Feng Xin was Xie Lian’s servant, his good friend, but not his slave. He could’ve built his own home, had his own family. And he had actually already met those people, but the encounter just had to be during Xie Lian’s first banishment, the toughest days they suffered back then.” i am very sad about all of this

hua cheng in the palace of ling wen looking for the brocade immortal while the heavens are in complete chaos as the world turns on its head and STILL taking the time to beg for kisses is making me lose it fjalkdfjlsd

oh my god the guoshi and the cards thing..... hmmmm

delighted that mount tong’lu has such great significance beyond just being the kiln or whatever

hmmm crown prince of wuyong... its truly sad... but dude.....

the way that the heavenly capital is literally built out of previous gods... wow

the outright attempt to continue to cycle of trauma that failed simply bc 1. xie lian is his own person and 2. xie lian recieved kindness and gave it back to the world even to the people who refused to help him im ;_;

the absolute mess of xuan ji/rong guang/pei su/banyue/ke mo going down in the palace of ming guang... entertainment

okay i think im to a point where i dont have any possible spoiler knowledge in my brain about what happens next (only thing i have is theres a joke about he xuan eating that i dont understand yet and i think we might get like an emily corpse bride moment but if we do i dont know why) but oh my god things have escalated