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sunnyborabora · 5 years

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Angel (Jaehyun x Reader)

It was a request and I am so sorry it took that long, I have no excuses...It was supposed to be published for christmas but lmao It’s very long and I hope I did well! The next one should be on Taehyung from BTS. It was also supposed to be published on december, with a bit of luck it will be there before spring!

Genre: Smut, awkward reader, voyeurism, fluff, christmas au

You were kinda a specialist of awkward situation. You were always finding a way to put yourself in embarrassing positions. Which can be finding yourself locked out of your apartment in pajamas because your door closed itself while you were out to take your uber eat order, from developing a sick ass crush on your brother’s best friend. But honestly no one would ever blame you. Jaehyun was, truly something else. He was so kind, since your childhood. He was the one who was taking you for a ride on his bike when your big brother Sicheng was being a dick with you which was almost all the time. You were two years younger than them but sometimes they made it seems like there was a decade between you. Jeahyun was always treating you well, taking care of you, patting your head like you were some puppy. Which as making your heart beat fast when you were 15, but which was annoying you more and more now that you were 20. You had left your house to go to university 3 years ago and you were so happy about it, studying something you truly liked. But it inevitably caused you to be away from your family. You were calling your parent regularly but being busy with work and classes had made you more distant. You haven’t spoken to Sicheng in a long time except from a few texts here and then, asking him how he was doing. You had not seen Jaehyun in years now, stupidly your feelings were still here. So when you were coming home for Christmas this year you were wondering if you’ll be finally able to see him. You had packed the presents you had bought for your family, a weird feeling in your chest. You had quite changed yourself since you left, you were three years older, you had live countless adventures mostly dumb one. « I can’t believe you are leaving me for Christmas, this is real betrayal » You turned around smiling at your best friend. « Girl, you know I have to go, I haven’t seen my family in an eternity. I don’t even know what my brother look like anymore. -Still hot obviously » You gagged at her answer. You obviously knew what your brother looked like, you were closer than what you made it seemed, but no way you were saying to Jisoo. She always had a thing for Sicheng that you could not comprehend. You thought he was repulsing in every aspect as the good sister you were. « Please, don’t say that ew -You can say whatever you want Sicheng is hot. I only you could take me with you… -So what ? You can jump on his dick as soon as you saw him ? -Yes » You threw her the first thing that you had in your hand. « Ouch ! » Even if her favorite pass time was to annoy you, she was still your best friend. And who will pay the other part of the rent if she wasn’t there ? And you remember not to annoy her too much because she was the one who was going to drive you to the train station, and she was totally able to drop you in the middle of the road. « Let’s go we are going to be late. » You caught your train just in time, hugging your roommate for the last time before leaving. « Think about me while you catch up with your hot best friend hoe love you ! -He is not my boyfriend ! -Don’t care ! » The three hours of traveling were long but you finally arrived in your home town. It was snowy and you admired the immaculate landscape as you were not used to it anymore. You heard a loud honking noise looking already annoyed. « Obviously it’s you ! I thought mom was going to come get me ! » Sicheng had stayed in the car, looking at you frowning. « Three years without seeing you and you are still that annoying. -We saw each other three months ago when you came crashed at my apartment » He laughed at you, coming closer as you sat inside the car, hugging you. You hugged him back, happy to see him. Even if he still was your idiot big brother. « So how are things going ? -Mom is ecstatic, she missed you a lot I think. » You knew your mom missed you a lot. Since your dad left when you were in high school, she had taken over herself to make you the happiest kid ever. You felt bad about it, maybe you were just an ungrateful child, and you didn’t deserve such a loving mother. « Anyway, she prepared enough food to feed the entire town, be ready. Even if it never had been a problem, you fat ass. » You hit his arm but stopped remembering he was driving. « Who will be there ? -You, me, mom, Jaehyun and his parents » You almost stopped breathing. « Oh Jaehyun and his parents. It’s been so long since I’ve seen them, damn. -Three years or something, yeah. » You did not ask anything else, Sicheng wasn’t stupid, if you started becoming too curious he would flip you off. « He’ll come in the afternoon anyway, we have to put that stupid Santa Claus and his reindeer because mom insisted. -Good luck » You had missed your mom terribly so when Sicheng parked in front of your old house, you almost jumped out immediately. Your mom was already opening the door, her arm wide open and a smile plastered on her face. You hugged her as strong as you could : « Mom I missed you so much. » You heard her laughed, hugging you back. « Oh my god you changed so much Y/n, what, it has been a year and you had become so gorgeous. » You could see tears starting to form at the corner of her eyes. « Was the journey good ? Not too long ? » She told you to come inside, pointing out that it was starting to snow again. Sicheng was just behind you, your bags in his hands. « Wow, you are carrying my bags, is that a joke or are you really starting to be nicer to me ? -Don’t get used to it. » The house had changed since you last came, but it still gave that cozy and gentle vibe. You felt like home. A big tree was standing at the very far corner of the dining room, still naked from any decoration. « Come on, take of your coat and shoes and come in the kitchen I’ve prepared hot chocolate. » And she did. You found yourself sat in the kitchen, your feet plunged into fluffy slippers. You had the impression to be a child all over again. It made you smile. « You had changed a lot since the last time I saw you ! Did you cut your hair ? -Ah, yes a bit. Does it suit me ? -A lot » It was easy to talk to your mother. She always had something to say, about what she had done, what she had seen, or about something someone told her. « We are going to decorate the tree ! I’ve been waiting for you to do it » She seemed very excited about it and it made your heart swell. You wanted to take her in your arms but something stopped you. You helped your mother decorating the tree, following her direction, putting the little wooden snowflakes where she was telling you and installing the lights where she wanted. « Oh Y/n ! It looks very pretty ! Wait I am going to turn the lights on » And indeed it was pretty. You smiled at your work, admiring the tree. It was way different from what you have done last year, both you and Jisoo being broke, you had found your Christmas tree a trash cane beside your building. You had to tape the poor thing all back together. You were really proud of it at the time. But you had to be honest it looked miserable next to this one. You had to send a pic of it to Jisoo. At the moment you were going to press send your mom called you. « Y/n come here a minute ! » You did, walking toward the entrance door. Sicheng, your mom and another man were standing there. « Here she is ! Look darling, it’s Jaehyun ! » Indeed, it was Jaehyun. The moment he turned around you swear you could fall down, trip over the air and just smash your face against the floor. But you didn’t, you smiled big, trying to look confident walking toward them. He seemed surprise seeing you but it passed fast as he was returning your smile. The more you were approaching the more you wanted to scream. And you were screaming, internally. Because you didn’t know what had happened, you only left three years. Jaehyun was fucking hot, already at the time, during high school he was hot, but it had nothing to do with now. He was the embodiment of that reddit post of a woman asking if it was okay to cry because people were too hot. Right now you felt like you could cry. « Hi Y/n ! Long time no see ! -Hi ! Yeah, time has passed fast » You stand behind your mom like a child, trying not to stare too much. Because if you could right now you would be snapping pictures of his perfect face to look at them all day. Who could blame you. He was so cute, his scarf tight around his neck and his little beanie secured around his head. « Come on Sicheng, let’s do this before it snows to hard » And like this they started getting that horrible Santa Claus and its hideous slide up on the roof. You were sure it was dangerous as hell, that it must slide like a skating rink up there but nothing could make them change their mind. « I am pretty sure Sicheng is going to bust his ass. -Y/n !? Be polite please ! » You shrugged still sure about the accuracy of your words. You were on the living room, wrapping up presents for the family when Sicheng and Jaehyun came back. Sicheng was covered in snow. « You fell down didn’t you ? -Shut up » For the first time in forever you wish your brother had stay with you because now you were left alone with Jaehyun. He took off his coat, and sat at the table, he wasn’t really looking at you and you could understand it. After all you didn’t speak to each other or even saw each other in three years. You were just his best friend little sister in the end. « Do you want some hot chocolate ? You must be cold », you asked trying to break the awkward silence that had settled itself between you. « Oh yeah ! Thank you ! » He smiled at you his little dimples showing. He was soft. You turned around to pour him a cup when you turned back he was looking at you. He turned around as fast as he could but you had seen him. You smiled giving him a cup and as you saw he was just looking at his cup you decided to start a conversation : « It’s been so long, what have you been doing ? » He almost seemed chocked when he heard your voice. « Well nothing much really, I just work in town and everything. I graduated uni last year but you know what they say about having a degree but never using it » You laughed. « Hell yeah I know. -And you would have you been doing ? -Well studying for the most part. I am living with my roommate, and I am working on the side you know, the usual student life. -That’s great, I am happy that you are leaving your dream. You were always the independent type anyway. -Really ? I remember being glued to you and Sicheng my entire childhood tho -True, but it never bothered me to be honest. You were like my little sister », he said smiling. But you wanted to cry. His little sister of course. Sicheng arrived at this precise moment and you took this as your cue to leave. When you came back Jaehyun had left and dinner was ready. The day had passed fast but it also seemed like it was an eternity. « Do you fucking realize ! The audacity ! -I can’t believe he called you his little sister bitch I am crying » You suddenly wanted to hang up on her. « What am I supposed to do ? -You still have a crush on him ? After all this time… -Yeah, why ? You're judging me ? -A little to be honest » You rolled over your bed, stomping your feet like a child. « He literally see me as a child. I am not 17 anymore. -Maybe that’s the problem. -What do you mean ? -He sees you as a child. If you change the way he is seeing you… -How am I supposed to do that ? -Flirt with him, make him see you like you truly are. -How am I going to make this not awkward ? -Just do it, if he is awkward he’ll tell you. And you’ll be able to leave and never see him again » You thought about it for a second, still doubtful. « I don’t know… -Just do it ! You’re such a flirt usually, this wouldn’t be difficult ! -It is ! » It really was but the next day, when you dressed up you find yourself putting on that cropped sweater and your favorite pants that made your ass look good. You had the intention to spend your holidays in pajamas but it wasn’t going along with your plan. « I am going to town, I have some things to buy. -You want me to come with you ? -No stay here ! Your brother is at work but Madam Jung is going to come to deliver us something for tomorrow. » You said as your mother had told you and stayed at home. It didn’t take long for the bell to rung and for you to go open. But it wasn’t Madam Jung who opened the door. Jaehyun seemed surprise to see you, and it took you a second to get your self together and flash him the brightest smile.

« Hey Jae ! What’s up ? » He gasped at your friendly tone, probably chocked by the contrast between the awkward exchange you had the day before and now. « I-I- my mother told me to give this to your mom… I don’t know what it is, is she here ? -No she is gone, but she told me someone would come. Come on in ! » You stepped aside, letting him in. You lead the way to the kitchen, and maybe you were swinging your hips a bit more than you originally would and you heard him choke. « Apparently it’s something for tomorrow. You’ll be there ? -Hmm, yeah ! -Oh that’s the plate for the turkey ! My mom told me hers wasn’t big enough » He was standing there, his hand in his pocket, looking anywhere but at you. « Do you want something to drink ? Eat ? My mom bought stuff to bake Christmas cookies -Oh, I don’t know… I think I should go. » You turned around clutching the plate against your chest, pouting. « Oh, okay no problem… -It’s not because I don’t want to ! I swear ! I have to go back to work, but if you want, this evening, I- I would be happy to eat your cookies, if you had decided to bake some… » You smiled at him. « I can do that ! I can even bring them to your house if you want to ! » He nodded smiling at you, leaving you alone in your kitchen. You didn’t know how to take what just happened. Maybe you were just doing too much. Did you make the situation awkward ? You didn’t think so… But now you had to cook the best cookies you could and that was the problem. You were the worst cook ever, like really. Once you set your kitchen on fire and now with Jisoo being as dumb as you when it concerned cooking. You should probably wait for your mom to come back, after all she was the best cook you knew. You looked for a thousand of recipes on internet but it was a literal mess. You gave up, finally accepting that you were a dumb bitch. « I’m home ! Did Madam Jeong came ? -Yes ! Mom I need your help ! » She seemed the more and more confused as you were telling her the story. « Cookies are easy to make Y/n ! -They are not ! » But it seemed as when it was your mom, everything was easier. « Just put the melted chocolate in the dough, not too much at the same time » It seemed like a thousand years later that you put the cookies in the oven. The one your mom did were round and beautiful. Yours were a bit awkward, one was even looking like a square. « Why are mine ugly ? -They are not ! They are perfect » She pinched your cheeks smiling at you. She was just too nice. When you packed them to go out, you let yours in the plate, still tacking a bite of the square one. At least, they were good. « Did you put on the frosting ? -Yeah, it’s really good ! -Of course it is ! Have you seen all the sugar you put in this, it can only be good ! » You walked in the street, thankfully it was not snowing. The Jeong family was leaving just next to your house so it just took you a five-minute walk to arrive. « Y/n ! Oh my god ! Child you grew up so much since you came last time ! » You smiled at the little lady. Madam Jeong always had been nice to you. She was giving you extra dessert when you were dining at their house, she had drive you back from school when your mom couldn’t. « Hello madam Jeong ! It’s been so long! » You were soon sitting around the table, the cookies in full display, a cup of coffee in front of you. « So what have you been doing ? -I am still studying and working on the side ! -This is great ! Jaehyun told me you were living with someone ? -Oh yeah ! We’ve met in first year, and we connected well. It’s easier to have a roommate », you laughed. « Oh so it’s just a roommate ? -Oh, well, Jisoo is also my bestfriend but yeah » She laughed suddenly. « Oh my, you should tell that to Jae, the poor boy was convinced you were already married or something » You were shocked. When did you even implied that you were in a relationship ? You laughed in disbelieve. « I am not, Jisoo is my best friend really. -Ohh so you really don’t have a boyfriend ? » You had the exact same conversation with your mom over the phone a thousand time and thinking about it you were surprised she hadn’t brought the subject yet. « No, I don’t. -Hey mom, I’m back ! -Jaehyun we are here ! » You didn’t look up right away but you still saw his face when he entered. His jaws clutched as his eyes fell on you. You smiled, winking at him. He almost tripped. « Hey Y/n… -Hey Jae » He smiled blushing. « So what have you been talking about ? -Nothing special, Y/n was telling me about her life, university, work, boyfriends » Did you already mentioned you loved this woman. It was like she wanted to help you, without even realizing it. « Yeah, I was telling your mother that I was all alone -A beautiful girl like you, everyone would be lucky to have you » You laughed shyly. Yeah, it was not what your exes were saying about you. Madam Jeong suddenly left to go to the kitchen leaving you and Jaehyun alone. « Sorry if she was asking you personal stuff… -It doesn’t bother me. I didn’t see her in a long time, I missed it. » He nodded avoiding your eyes. « So you don’t have a boyfriend ? -Nope. -That’s good » You rose our brow and he started to stutter. « No. That’s not what I meant. It’s not good that you are single. There is nothing wrong with that ! Even if you deserve someone great you know, but you don’t need one ! » You laughed, not holding back anymore. « Don’t worry Jaehyun, I understand », you said as you keep giggling like a child. He seemed mortified but you couldn’t help it, it was too cute. « I mean, I am not dating either so... » You turned your head in his direction. Was he giving you hints ? Or was it just an innocent answer ? « Really ? You and Soohyon are not together anymore ? » Your brother had told you they had broke a year ago but you still asked. « Oh, no, we broke up last year. -Wow, I mean you literally stayed together all high school, we all thought you were like, going to marry each other or something. -We just weren’t meant to be, I guess» Thankfully for you. « I hated her anyway », you said not controling your mouth. Jaehyun laughed hard, and you felt embarrassed. You really needed to shut up. « This was why you were always avoiding me when she was around ? -Yeah, that and other things. -Other things ? » You were really not going to say it. His mother called you from the other room anyway, saving you from embarrassment. « That’s a story for another time », you played off, hitting his shoulder with your fist playfully. He grabbed your wrist not letting you go. « Y/n, just, I wanted to tell you, it ‘s good to have you back » You smiled, your heart swelling. « I am happy to be back too » You walked back home with your head full of question. This seduction mission was more difficult than you thought. What was even more weird, was that feeling in your heart, a strange swell that occurred every time you saw him. It wasn’t about Jaehyun being handsome anymore. It was about you loving him. Maybe you were just hurting yourself. « You’re already back ? Was the cookies good ? -Yeah they were, thank you mom. » You didn’t say anything else, still wondering what you were going to do. « Just tell him. If you are correct, he is pretty much reacting to you in like a good way ? -I don’t know ? What if he rejects me ? I’ll die -No you won’t, you drama queen. » You weren’t that sure. You pretty much loved this man. « Jisoo, I gotta go, someone is calling me » Actually nobody was calling you but you just wanted to stop this conversation. You ate and went to your room without more words. It was actually pretty late already but you were unable to sleep. It was those type of moments where no position was the right one. You knew something that could help you sleep but just thinking about it made you blush. Maybe it was the fact that you were in your childhood bedroom, the fact that you were suddenly very aware of the fact that your family was sleeping not that far away. But you still did it because fuck, you wanted it. You kicked off your pajama pants, dragging your hands over your thighs. You lied back on your bed as you started by just teasing yourself with your hand, not pressing to hard yet, just tracing the outline of your labia. Maybe it was her brain, that was playing her tricks, because she could almost feel the heat of someone mouth at the secret sensitive place beneath the corner of your jaw, just below your ear, hands firm around your waist... You thought of Jaehyun. How his lips would taste, how his hands would feel. You took in a quick gasp as your fingertips grazed your clit. You pressed your fingers harder, circling the bundle of nerves, suddenly feeling as electricity was running down your body. You wish they were his fingers, they would be so much bigger and longer than yours. They would stretch your walls so good. You put two fingers inside, and even if you were stretched you weren’t full. You were so desperate, your fingers bumping inside you fast but you were still not there. It was so frustrating. The image of Jaehyun between your legs was making you whimper harder. His dark eyes were watching yours as he was smirking, his tongue flickering on your clit precise motion, his upper lip just brushing against your clit as he teased you more… You came with the image of Jaehyun above you, as you were moaning his name. You slept like the dead and thank you, for the first time since you came back you didn’t dream about Jaehyun. You woke up early in the morning. It was Christmas and your mom had told you a long day was awaiting you. And indeed you had no time to think about anything else than mashed potatoes and how to stuff a turkey, which was terrifying. Sicheng had been helping all day too, which wasn't taht surprising, he had always been a sweetheart for your mom. He had been pouting all day but at least he had been carrying stuff around the house, occasionally helping you in the kitchen. « How many more potatoes do we need to peel ? I already cut myself twice ! -Ohhh poor baby look at this little cut on his pinky boohoo. -Shut up. Mom ! Y/n is being mean again ! » You threw an apple peel at him. « Why are you such a kid ! -I am not ! -You are both children ! » You almost jumped out of your chair. Jaehyun was standing behind you laughing at Sicheng that was still scolding you. Maybe it as the fact that he looked particularly good or that you looked like trash in this very moment but you were strangely shy around him suddenly. « Hey Jae , what are you doing here ? -My mom is stressing me out at home, I thought it would be calmer here. -It’s not, my mom is literally treating us like slaves since this morning. -She just asked you to peel potatoes what are you talking about. » He was going to say something, but he didn’t have the time before your mom entered the kitchen. « Oh Jaehyun, sweety, what are you doing here ? -I was just passing by ! Do you need help ? -Actually, I need someone to drive to the nearest mall and do some purchase. -I’ll go with Jaehyun, said Sicheng as fast as he could. -No I need you here ! Y/n is going with Jaehyun ! -Why her !? Am I an assistant ? -Yeah why me ?! » You really didn’t want to go with Jaehyun. In your mind he would have come just before dinner and you would already wear your cute dress. He would be his usual soft and shy self while you’ll be kissing him under the mistletoe. Now you were peeling apples in the middle of your living room, not washed, still in pajamas, your hair like a bird nest. Jaehyun looked at you and smirked and you felt your face hit up. « I need Sicheng here, so come on Y/n go ! » You stood up like a zombie and walked to your room. You jumped in the first clothes you find which was not better than your pajamas, before putting on your hood’s sweater and joining them in the living room. « You’re ready ? » Asked Jaehyun with a smirk. You simply nodded, not looking at him in the eyes. It was cold outside, and as you were walking toward the car you stopped in your track. « Oh wait, we- ouff » You bumped into something, rather someone, almost falling back, if the certain someone didn’t catch you. « Be careful, the road is slippery » You were pressed against his torso, his arms not letting you ho anywhere. « It’s just, that, I don’t know what my mom wants… -She gave me a list don’t worry, let’s go » He grabbed your shoulders and you both walked toward the car again. You sat next to him, finally in feeling warm as he started the car. You didn’t say a thing during the entire trip, just looking around shyly. « Y/n ? Is everything okay ? -Huh yeah, why ? -You seem less talkative than before. » You laughed awkwardly trying to play it off. He reached for something next to you brushing your thigh making you gasp. He smirked at you completely aware of what he just did and you screamed internally. You wished Jaehyun would have stopped playing with you but he really didn’t. You were being kinda petty because all you did those past few days was to provoked him. Considered it Karma. You came back home to your mom two hours later. You took longer than you intended to inside the store because it was packed with people, obviously it was Christmas day. « Stay near me, so we don’t get separated » he said looking at you waiting for your response. You nodded looking around you as you started to panic. You weren’t the most comfortable with crowded places and you were usually avoiding going shopping when you knew there was going to be a lot of people. You really didn’t want to lose Jaehyun. You followed him around the store feeling useless, because he seemed to know the place perfectly and you were as lost as ever. You insisted into pushing around the shopping cart trying not to roll over people. « Jaehyun, I think- Jaehyun ? » You turned around not seeing anywhere. You grabbed the cart hard and tried to walk away but you stopped maybe you should just stay here to not get lost even more. But you suddenly realized that staying in the middle of an aisle with this many people, actually the lady behind you seemed to start being annoyed with you. So you simply walked away, looking for Jaehyun but not seeing him anywhere. Someone pushed you rather strongly and you almost started crying. You looked around like a lost child looking for their mom but nothing. It was all rushing people and noise.

« Y/n » Jaehyun placed his hand on your shoulder and you almost jump out of your skin. « Hey it’s just me, everything is fine » You wanted to kiss him, even more than before. « I-I couldn’t see you… » He smiled gently. « Don’t worry I’m here now. It’s over we can go check out » He took your arm and hooked it with his while he drove the cart toward the entrance. The drive home was silent but more relaxed. You were stuck in a bit of traffic but listening to some Christmas music. « You still hate crowds ? » You looked at him, his eyes still glued to the road. « Yeah… Still not the most comfortable. I should just work on that but sometimes it’s just -Too much ? -Yeah. -I remember when we were younger, and we used to carry you everywhere with us. Your mom would insist that Sicheng would bring you along. He never wanted but I actually liked when you were there. -Yeah I remember. I would climb on one of your bike behind you and you would carry me around like I was a lost puppy" Remembering had made you calmer and as you looked at him you understood. You smiled at him gently. Jaehyun helped you carry the bags inside, your mother inside seemed eve more panicked than before. Jaehyun left saying he’ll see you in a couple of hours. You helped your mom settling everything she had in mind and you were ready faster than you thought. Your mom was finally able to go take a shower and relax and you intended to do the same. Before that you texted Jisoo, telling her that you missed her and wishing her a merry Christmas. You took a long shower and you decided to play along. After all if Jaehyun had been flirting with you, maybe you should just continue. But being in the shower you had time to think about your day and how, even if you were close to a panic attack, domestic it felt to do things with Jaehyun. You got out of the shower and settled into wearing a little tied black dress That would maybe a bit too much for your mom to take in so you put on a pair of black thighs and a magnificent Christmas jumper that would make you look modest. You did your makeup and added red lipstick. You loved it as it was making your lips look like cherry candy. It was already dark outside and you should probably go see if your mom needed anything before anyone arrived. As you were going downstairs you heard the door bell but no sign of your mother or brother. You opened the door, greeted by a huge rose bouquet. You looked up to see Jaehyun smiling at you. « Hi again -Hi » You let him enter quick followed by his mom and dad. You hugged them both, always happy to see them. Your mom arrived, and they all started talking, visibly enthusiast of seeing each other even if they literally live next to each other. Suddenly feeling out of place you thought you would go look for a vase for the flowers you were now holding. You disappeared into the kitchen but to be honest you had no idea where you could find a vase. Maybe if you putted them into a big bowl or something… « The vase are in the last cabinet I think… » Jaehyun smiled at you, you nodded trying not to stare too much. You might have dress up a little tonight, but he really was looking like an all movie star. His satin black dress up shirt was hugging his torso perfectly and maybe his black jeans were making his thighs look fucking perfect. You wanted to ride them. You shook your head thanking opening the cabinet. Suddenly you thought about something. « Could you hold the chair while I climb on it, I don’t know why it’s that high, no one is that tall in this house. » He nodded as you bring the chair close to the wall. Jaehyun walked toward you and you tried once again not to overthink his presence but it was hard. You put the bouquet in his arms as you climb the chair, maybe arching your back little more than you needed as you were getting in your tip toes to finally grab the vase. That dress was anyway doing god’s work as it ridden up your thighs. « Got it ! » He didn’t answer, his grip on the chair still solid. You smirked getting of the chair. « Thanks for the flowers again, my mom love those. » He didn’t watch you in the eyes right away, but he seemed to regain his composure pretty fast as you were fill up the vase with water. « Do you need help ? -No it’s fine, you can join the others if you want. Sicheng must be there now. » And he left. You joined them some minutes later, after taking a pause in the corridor just to take a deep breath. « Here she is ! -You look great sweetheart ! Come here ! » And you sat down. It was actually enjoyable, your mom cooking was excellent and you were actually impressed by your own work. « The meat is so good ! How did you do ? » Your mom was more than happy to tell how she did and you laughed at her enthusiasm. Sicheng and Jaehyun were talking and laughing while you were not really paying attention. You were trying to ignore the fact that you were sitting right next to Jaehyun, as Sicheng was sitting in front of you, on the other side of the table. You were so concentrated on what your mother was saying that you didn’t realise right away someone had put their hand on your thigh. It’s when the hand started to ride up along your thigh. You looked down seeing Jaehyun hand under the table, grabbing your thigh. You looked at him baffled. Maybe he didn’t realise… But he turned his head toward you raising one of his eyebrow smirking slightly and you understood. He totally knew what he was doing. You tried and move, but he squeezed your thigh making you gulped. It was so inappropriate, but why your heart was beating that fast, and it was not only from embarrassment. « So Y/n ? When are you going back to the city ? » You cleared your throat, trying to regain your componance. « I am leaving tomorrow actually » You felt his hand coming closer to hip. « Really ? Already ? Why won’t you stay longer ? » Jaehyun grazed his finger along your underwear and you froze. « Y/n ? -Hmmm my boss didn’t give me more days off actually. I have to work as soon as I come back. -Oh what a shame ! -Yeah I wish I could have stayed for the new Lunar Year but it’s a very busy time in the city, and they need the team to be complete .

-You’ve always been such an obliging person Y/n, such an angel.» You heard Jaehyun huffed at the nickname. He squeezed your inner thigh harder as you started to shake a little bit. You put your hand on his, squeezing his finger. Everyone was suddenly looking somewhere else and you whispered to him : « What are you doing ? -Nice dress » He smirked cockily and you stayed speechless. The rest of the dinner went well, Jaehyun needing both of his hands to eat, he left you alone. Soon Jaehyun’s parents invited your mom at their place to drink more and your mom accepted. Sicheng came with her and you were ready to put your coat on, joking around with your brother when someone attracted your attention. Jaehyun was leaning on the opposite wall, watching you like a hawk. You walked toward him, confused. « You are not coming ? -I thought we could stay behind just a few minutes. I have something to tell you. -Oh okay... » You told your mom you would come in a few minutes, and she simply nodded, already leaving the house following her friends happily. Sicheng was following cheering with mister Jeong about something. « What did you wanted to talk about ? -Let’s go upstairs. -Yeah… okay... » You went to your room, and as you were entering you heard the door closing behind you. You sat on your bed looking at him. « Honestly, it’s more me who should ask question. What you did during dinner- -Was just teasing you back for everything you did. The short clothes, the flirting, everything… You thought I was going to stay impassive ? » You stayed quiet, not knowing what to answer. « Since you’ve come back, I don’t know it’s like you’re torturing me, hm… You’re having fun angel ? » You tensed at the sudden nickname. « Maybe. Maybe I was just having fun. -Oh so that was it. Having fun ? I don’t think so. -Hm, and why ? » He came closer to you. « I think that someone, might have a little crush on me, don’t we baby ? » Yeah you wanted to die. « What ? Don’t flatter yourself… -Are you saying I am a liar ? » He wasn’t, and you were totally unable to hide your feelings. He reached your burning face with his hands as you closed your eyes from the embarrassment. « Look at me in the eyes » But you really couldn’t right now. « Y/n open your eyes » His hands slided along your neck, but you yelped in surprised when he grabbed your scalp hard yanking your hair. You opened your eyes looking at him directly. « Tell me now Y/n, what went through your little perverted mind ? - I- I don’t… -That’s funny, because those last days had been a nightmare for me. » He let go of your hair, his hand running down your back, the other still on your hips. « First you come back after years, looking like a woman and not that kid that I knew. And I know that you are my best friend little sister but hey you keep flirting with me, and you are fucking amazing. » You were speechless, all you could do was look into his eyes, mouth agape. « I know I shouldn’t feel like this. Toward you. But- I can’t help it. The more I speak to you, the more I see you… » Tears were prickling at the corner of your eyes, and you did what you had been dreaming of. You kissed Jaehyun like your life depended on it. He kissed you right back, his arms circling you as you wrap yours around him. It wasn’t a sweet kiss, it was needy and passionate. You couldn’t help it but moan in his mouth. He started to lead you to the bed, you taking steps back until you hit the end of your bed. He pushed you lightly as you fell into the mattress. « You know what really made me see you differently. Fuck… That night where your brother ask me to go see you and tell you that you could come with us to that party a friend of us organized. But when I arrived to your room » He has joined you on the bed, (staying) over your body, caging you between his arms. « I fucking saw you, touching your needy cunt, moaning my name. » You wanted to die, you wanted the earth to split open and swallow you up. But no, you were still there trapped. « Close your door better next time baby » And he kissed you again. With the same passion, but he seemed to be more and more needy. « So tell me Y/n, why would you do this ? » He got on his knees, looming over your body, a smirk on his lips. His hands trailed on your waist, your hips and finally on your thighs. Even through the thin fabric off your clothes you could feel the heat of his skin. You shuddered. « I-I didn’t do it on purpose… -Oh really ?! Because fuck it really seemed like it. -No I didn’t ! I never anted you to know… -Well I know now » His hands gripped your black thighs and took it off in a fast motion. Apparently clothes had to get off. « I always thought you were a good girl, pure and innocent, was I wrong baby ? » Fuck, his words, you were getting so wet by the seconds. « I didn’t… -You didn’t what ? Was that the first time you were touching yourself while thinking of me ? » Your breath hitch as his hands finally made contact with your bare skin, so cold against your hot thighs. You moaned , wanting more of his touch. « Answer me or you won’t get anything. - Maybe... » He nipped at your thigh, his mouth so warm. You were feeling his hot breath against your skin still so far away from where you really needed him. « Maybe ? Common tell me - When we were in high school, you’re the first person I touch myself to… » He stopped his motion, suddenly freezing. « I-I always wanted to be with you, but I was young and you were interested in other girls, more mature, so I stayed on my side » He gripped your thighs harder, making you moan a bit. Jaehyun smiled against your skin, nose trailed along your skin as he inhaled deeply. « Fuck, no one could compare to you… I fantasized about you- taking my virginity a lot... » He groaned letting go of your thighs. « Fuck, baby you are so fucking nasty. I can’t believe this, such a pervert » Your dress was now rolled up all the way to your hips, and he took it as an opportunity to finally touch you. His hand cupped your mount, his thumb pressing over your clit. You whined, struggling to breath as you were squirming to get closer. His fingers were brushing harder, the fabric of your underwear clinging to your soaked folds. « Your soaking wet… » He mumbled something you can't understand before taking of your underwear and tossing them. « So pretty. Fucking » he helped you taking off your dress, you were now completely exposed, « Perfect » You thought you couldn’t get more embarrassed, you were wrong. « Baby I want to eat you out -Yes, please Jae » you needed him to do anything. Really you would beg. He buried his face between your thighs, his hands keeping them as open as you could. You never felt that exposed but at the same time fuck it felt so good. « Jae, fuck please more -Then tell me baby, what were you imagining in that dirty mind of yours ? -No please… -Y/n, baby you know the deal... » You cried out in frustration. « I thought… I thought about your hands a lot… You would feel larger than my own, I would feel better when it’s you who touches me...Fuck please don’t stop… -Your little fingers can’t do anything for you baby, right ? -No ! They can’t ! » He inserted one finger in and your eyes almost rolled in the back of your head. « Jaehyun oh my god- » You moaned hard, completely possessed by the feeling of him stretching you like this. « Yes baby? » He held your gaze and slowly licked his lips. « Please, I want you, more… -Don’t worry baby, I am not going anywhere » You grabbed his sleeve and tugged at it the best you could, trying to make him understand. « You want me to take it off baby ? -Yes please... - Okay, » Jaehyun’s dimples appeared when he smiled and your heart skipped a beat. He took off his dress shirt as fast as he could and you couldn’t help it. He was beautiful. You wanted to touch him so bad. « Can I touch you ? Please… -Yes of course » He kissed you again, and allowed your hands to roam over his body, « Jaehyun... » and it was a whimper at best. « Yes Y/n. » Nothing came out of your mouth as he smirked. You started fumbling with his belt as you were kissing his collarbone, and he let you do it, enjoying your touch, your breast against his chest. He grabbed your legs lifting you in his arms. « I need you, fuck, I need you so bad. » You were in his arms pressed against his body. You were whimpering, trembling from anticipation. Your heart would explode soon. « I need you too Jae, please » He lowered you onto your bed, his arms tight around your body. He bent down licking his lips biting at the skin of your thighs. « Ouch, Jae » Your words sounded more like a plea than an actual cry of pain. « Want you to remember me, remember this.. » He said. « When you’ll go back to the city » He kept sucking at your skin, and you feel yourself drift off more and more. You whispered his name again and again your eyes screwed shut as you struggled to breathe. « Please, Jae ! More ! -You are very demanding » You whined,grabbing at the sheets beneath you. « But don’t worry, I am not going anywhere » He caressed your thighs, appreciating the feeling of your skin. « Since you’ve been good I am going to tell you what I want to do hm ? » You gasped loudly. « First baby, I’m gonna eat you out, hm, because you must be tired of just cumming on your fingers. Do you want me to ? -Yes ! Please ! -Ok, baby, and after » He kissed your core « I’m gonna make love to you, okay ? Because fuck baby, no one is able to make me soft and hard at the same time like you do » You moaned at that, your heart swelling from all the love you felt at this moment. « Jaehyun, please- » He flattened his tongue, parting your cunt, as you couldn’t do anything but moan. A few languid licks later and you were already coming. You thought he was going to stop he didn’t. You fisted your hand in his black locks, admiring his beautiful face. But it was so sinful you couldn’t look for very long. You cried and you heard him chuckle as the devil he was. It didn’t take long before you were greeted by your second orgasm that left you breathless. You started to become so sensitive. « Please, Jae- Fuck, stop… Too much- -It’s too much ? Hm, I don’t know Y/n, how you're going to do for what I planned after. Maybe you want me to stop ? -No ! No… Please... » He smirked , his dimple showing. His black hair were a mess, completely your fault as you had tangled your fingers in them. « You tortured me since you arrived and I can’t even take my revenge a little bit… -I didn’t do anything… -Of course, you’re an angel aren’t you ? -Exactly » You were blatantly lying, obviously. « You are lying angel… You’ve become so naughty. Who Would have thought. Everyone thinks you are such a cute, shy girl. Do they know you’ve been having naughty thoughts about me all this time. » You were speechless, your mouth gaping, not finding anything to answer. He licked his lips, closing his eyes and furrowing his brows. « You taste so good, angel, fuck » You opened your arms, inviting him. He hugged you, tightly, kissing your lips as if it might be the last time. His tongue caressed yours as your legs parted wide, allowing him to rest between them. He finally kicked his pants away and his underwear. You were feeling him, heavy and hard against your thigh. It was maybe the last time you were seeing him like this, so you made sure to look at him with attention. He was beautiful. Something you'll never forget. He positioned himself between your legs, and you felt his hard dick between your bodies, leaking precum on your stomach. You eased your hand between the two of you, finding his cock. You let your fingers toy with his sensitive tip. « I want to make you feel good too… » He moaned as he buried his face in your neck. You nibble his bottom lip between each one of your pecks. You collected the wetness from his dick and you used it to move along his shaft. «You are going to make me feel good angel don’t worry... » He whispered, grabbing your legs. « I need you, Y/n, now » He brought your thighs almost flat against your chest and you felt yourself spread out for him. « I want you so much... » Just before entering you he looked into your eyes and you saw something you didn’t think you would see. Maybe it wasn’t only sex, maybe it was more. With a guttural groan, he entered you slowly, your breath hitching at the sensation. Sinking down inch by inch, his dark eyes carefully watched yours until he was fully seated. You felt him deep inside you, so deep you were already shaking around him. « Angel you feel so good... »

He was going slowly at first, deliberate strokes, in and out, as a regular pace.But you felt him grew more impatient, more needy. His trust were becoming harder and harder, his skin slapping yours, the noises of your wetness almost deafening. His forehead was pressed against yours, his eyes closed as he was feeling so much pleasure. His hips began to piston erratically while his stiff cock repeatedly dragged across your g-spot. You closed your eyes as your vision started to blur. « Do you feel good angel ? Fuck- -Jae- You feel so good » You wanted to scream his name, but you remembered where you were and you simply whispered his name again and again as you were feeling it coming. « Yeah angel, please, let it go » He kept moving, looking you as you were loosing yourself. He felt your pussy tightening around him. He looked at you, promising himself to remember everything of this night, of this moment with you. He finally had you, and even if it was only for a few hours, he will never forget it, always recalling your perfection. « Y/n- He wanted to tell you something, but he didn’t. Instead, he just let himself go diving completely into the pleasure he was feeling. He whispered your name,as he came. It shouldn’t felt this intimate, this meaningful. But it really did. He laid down beside you, his hand caressing your cheek. You were looking into each other eyes. You wanted to tell him, how you felt, but it wasn’t the right moment. So you stayed quiet, simply smiling. He smiled back, coming closer to kiss you again. Jaehyun had to leave soon after, but before he made you promise you won’t leave without saying goodbye. You promised, your heart heavy from just the thought of leaving without seeing him before. He kissed you one last time and left. Maybe you shouldn’t feel bad about what just happened but you did. Suddenly you weren’t so sure about your departure tomorrow. You kissed your mom goodbye, and you cried as she started telling you how much she was going to miss you. You promised her you’ll be back soon, this time more meaningful than last time. Your brother was waiting for you ready to drive you to the train station. « Sicheng ? -Yeah ? -Could we just pass by Jaehyun’s before ? -Why ? -To say goodbye to his parents. I didn’t have the time last night. » He stopped just in front of the house and you got out. Madam Jeong answered the door. « Oh darling you are already leaving ? -Yes, I am on my way to take my train. » You hugged her, and you promised her to come back soon, too. « Hm, is Jaehyun here ? -No sweetie, he is gone in town. » You wanted to cry. You had no time to wait so you simply told her to greet him for you and you left. « Is everything okay ? You look sad. » Sicheng was looking at you, almost worried. « Hmm, no I am fine. I just- Kinda don’t want to leave. -Well I was not expecting that. » It had always been kinda hard to talk to your brother. Maybe because you were radically different. « You know you can come back as soon as you want. Mom misses you, I miss you, damn even Jaehyun told me he had miss you. » Yeah you definitely were going to cry. « Thank you. -Don’t thank me. You are my sister. » At this moment you didn’t need any words. You smiled at him and hugged him goodbye. If you didn't’ knew your brother better you could swear you saw tears peaking at the corner of his eyes. « Go away now, before I change my mind and tell you to never come back. » You were waiting inside the train station, your luggage clutch in hand, as you were trying to stay warm. You were trying not to think about Jaehyun, and the fact that once again you were leaving without telling him. Your train arrived and you were walking toward your wagon, a strange feeling inside your chest. « Y/N ! » You turned around. Jaehyun was running in your direction. He arrived in front of you, out of breath. « What- what are you doing here ? -You left. -I tried, to come and say goodbye, but you weren’t there. » He just looked into your eyes, and you understood. « I couldn’t. -Couldn’t what ? -Letting you go like this. » You hugged him tightly and he answered. « I wish I could tell you not to go. -I’ll come back soon. -I know. » He kissed you, and you felt yourself leaning into his embrace more. « So goodbye… -Can’t believe you ran all the way here to kiss me goodbye. -It’s not the worst. Sicheng is waiting for me in the parking lot. I am wondering what I am going to say to him. » You laughed. Kissing him again. But soon you heard the speaker announcing the departure of your train. « I have to go… » He didn’t say anything, simply smiling sadly at you. He walked you toward your wagon watching you climb inside. « Good luck with Sicheng. -Don’t remind me please. » You smiled one last time at him before the door closed and the last thing you saw was him smiling back and your departure was feeling less bittersweet suddenly.

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idkthisisjustforfanfic · 5 years

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two years too late, chapter t e n

Alyssa’s lips pulled towards the ground--the expression on her face twisted into anger as you waited for her to respond. “This weekend? Of all weekends you have to go this weekend?” Her voice echoed through the small living room, her eyes searching your face for some sign that you were kidding.

“Yeah--he’s got a meeting or something. It’s part of his birthday, too!”

“It’s my company’s big gala, Y/N! You’ve known about this for months and you’re bagging the week before?”

“M’sorry, okay? I wouldn’t just be bagging if it was for someone other than him.”

She let out a groan at that, her hands flopped against her side, she moved towards the kitchen as if starting to cook dinner would be calming. You stepped back from her, feet hitting the hardwood floor as if being in her path was dangerous.

“Fine--whatever. I’ll just go by myself and look pathetic because everyone else will have a date.”

“Alyssa!”

“Don’t!” She turned around quickly, her eyes wide and hands on her hips. “You’re bailing. Call it what it is and don’t try to make an excuse.”

“I’m bailing for a good reason, though!”

“Because your popstar friend asked you to go away with him?”

Silence for a second. The afternoon was baked in winter sun, dipping beneath the buildings that created a skyline above. You wanted to correct her--more than a friend at this point--but you didn’t.

“What happened to the Y/N who thought this was all a good joke? The one who thought he’d head back out on tour and forget about you again?”

You bit at your lip. Her words were salt on a wound, but you didn’t tell her that.

You could ask yourself the same question. Where had she gone? How had the logical, realistic voice in your head who’d been convinced that all of this was too little too late suddenly be willing to jet off into the sunset with the boy who broke your heart?

“You’re sounding a lot like Jessie,” you observed, a scowl coming over your own face as she stared back at you. “Unsupportive, pessimistic, Jessie Alby.”

She rolled her eyes at this, a shake of her head before she headed for the kitchen again.

“You’ll be with co-workers!” You reminded her, trailing behind as she opened up the fridge.

“Pat and Erin are both bringing dates.”

“What about that Lauren girl?”

“Laura,” she corrected.

“She’ll be there!”

“With her husband.”

It was your turn to groan now, you leaned against the counter and watched as she pulled a knife from the drawer to start chopping an onion. The blade met the cutting board she’d set out before you broke the news--you wondered if she imagined it was you she was chopping to bits.

“Well Jesus, Alyssa--it’s not like I’m bailing for the grocery store. This is California! With him! He said it’d be romantic!”

She didn’t say anything. She kept her eyes on the vegetable in front of her and kept her mouth twisted into a grimace. A noise from out in the hallway--neighbors home from a Sunday afternoon trip to Whole Foods.

It wasn’t that you didn’t understand. After Harry fell asleep the night before, a smile on his face when you agreed to go with him, reality set in. You’d promised back in October to be Alyssa’s date the first weekend in February, her company’s big fundraising gala and she was required to go.

There’ll be free alcohol and cute investors there, she enticed. You can even tweet about how stuffy it is if you don’t name the company.

It was shitty--she was counting on your companionship and six days beforehand was a bit short notice to bail. But like you’d said. You weren’t bailing for just anyone or anything.

“I’m really sorry, okay? But this--it feels really different and really good and I just--I really like him. I mean, what was I supposed to do, say no?”

She set the knife down calmly, her hands on the counter when she turned to face you. “No but--you could have least talked to me before deciding.” She wasn’t as angry now, she had a look of disappointment in her eyes when she turned towards the sink.

There wasn’t much you could say in response. I’m sorry, I suck, I’m a shitty friend. None of it would change the way she felt and none of it held space for the excitement in your chest at the thought of a house in Beverly Hills all to yourselves.

So you gave her space. You packed a bag and headed to Harry’s. An apology text before bed went unanswered, a meme you sent on Monday at work didn’t even get a thumbs up.

The apartment was empty when you keyed in that night, you figured she was at a spin class or out to drinks with a coworker. You’d showered and shimmied into your sheets before she came in--straight to her room without even saying hi. The only sign she was home was the jiggling of the doorknob and the living room light that flooded under the crack below your door.

It was the same on Tuesday. She made coffee in silence and left earlier than usual for work, her words sparse and distant when she headed out the door.

When you sat on the couch at Harry’s apartment that night, his eyebrows pointed towards his nose, his head tilted as he listened to the words spill out of you.

“I get that she’s mad, y’know? I get that I told her I’d go and that she doesn’t want to be alone there, but come on! It’s you. I’m not bailing to hang out with Carly or some random guy I met on Tinder! I just wish she’d be a bit more understanding.”

He was quiet, clearly unsure if you had more to say. When you took a deep breath, he smiled a bit, a laugh escaped his pink lips in the dim living room.

“Maybe you should stay.”

“What?” You pulled away from him, the leather of the couch letting your leggings slide effortlessly. “Harry, no! I already said I was coming, I want to!”

“I know, lovie, but--I dunno, I feel bad knowing Alyssa will be by herself.”

You felt a thump in your chest, you weren’t used to nicknames aside from Smalls.

“She’s fine,” you said, waving a hand to truly convince him that your roommate would be alright by herself. Selfish. Fine--you could admit that, own it. You were excited for a weekend with Harry where you wouldn’t have to pretend to be anything but what you were.

Friends who became more and now somehow lived in the unknown territory that felt remarkably similar to being friends with benefits. Good benefits. Sleeping at his house and toothbrush in his bathroom benefits.

And Los Angeles was full of celebrities, right? Harry wouldn’t stick out like a sore thumb and it gave a perfect excuse to make some type of low key announcement.

Pictures of you and Harry heading out to dinner? Work. You tagging along to business meetings with Harry? (You imagined them to have coffee and sparkling water and interns who waited on him hand and foot). Work! It was all work.

There was plenty to do in Los Angeles that could give you the cover of it being a work trip, for both of you. And it was, sort of.

But you got back on track. “Alyssa is one of the most extroverted people I know--she doesn’t need a date.”

He offered a look of disappointment, one that pulled a groan right out of your mouth.

“I know I suck, alright? But hear me out: we go to LA, people will undoubtedly see us together. I announce that I’m working on the story. All is well in the world.”

He pushed his lips out, deep in thought. His left eyebrow twitched a little, he swallowed. “What about the people who go digging and find old photos of us and realize that--” he trailed off. When you raised your eyebrows, he spit it out. “It’s more than work?”

You let out a soft laugh. “I mean, I deleted every photo of us from all of my social media accounts. Jake and Adam are private on instagram, I think Bryn is too.”

“So what about Jessie?”

“I’ll ask her to take down whatever photos she has of us.” You shrugged as if it was casual. As if asking that of your boisterous and bold friend wouldn’t open up a conversation that you didn’t want to have. It’d been almost a week since you’d spoken and now didn’t feel like a good time to give Jessie more ammunition to tell you what a moron you were.

“Think she will?”

You rolled your eyes. Jessie was the type of person who’d say no just because she didn’t like being told what to do.

He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your forehead, his words quiet when he rose from the couch. “I know you know this, but, I don’t mind if people know.”

His words were simple, they hung in the air when you watched him walk over to the kitchen for a glass of water. Of course he didn’t mind--it didn’t put him at risk.

Unlike him, at night when you couldn’t sleep, you’d lay away and think of all the things that could happen. You’d count the taxis that honked their horns and list off the terrifying possibilities one by one.

I could lose my job. I could lose friends in Whitney and Carly. People would think I’m using him for fame. People would hate me because I know him.

And then what happened when it was all over? When Harry’s schedule got the best of him again and when it whisked him away to prance around on some stage in Switzerland?

The dust in your life would settle and you’d be left unemployed, labeled a liar by the New York pop journalism scene. You’d go back to take out on the couch with Alyssa (if she didn’t cut you out for good) and watching him from afar on social media. Maybe you’d go back to getting Happy Christmas! group texts.

Jessie would tell you how stupid you were, Adam and Bryn would agree, Jake would pretend to be neutral until he couldn’t stand the tension.

Fractions of scenarios grew into life altering situations. No job. No friends. No Harry. You couldn’t imagine anything worse.

You could be hopeful that it wouldn’t shake out like that. Maybe he wouldn’t just leave you behind again--maybe Whitney wouldn’t hate your guts and fire you on the spot.

But the same voice that once tried to tell you this was all two years too late now echoed a new mantra. If this was all going to fall apart at the beginning of March, at least you could have fun while it lasts.

Because it won’t last long.

You decided calling out sick on Friday wasn’t the way to do it. You didn’t remember Harry having such a penchant for honesty, but he (along with his assistant) had successfully convinced you to get the okay from Whitney to be out of office for work purposes. Harry would have loved it if you came out with it altogether (what do you want me to do, you asked, tell her how great you are in bed?), but you reminded that patience was a virtue and that Whitney would be more likely to forgive your lies if she’d already read an impressive and exclusive interview.

So you told her at lunch on Wednesday that you had an update for her--she scheduled a block of time for you to come sit in her office, the tiny people in windows across the street were a reminder that life continued outside of the nerve wracking meetings in her office.

She was excited--rambling at first about how her bagel rating instagram had reached one hundred thousand followers. Whitney was one of the few people at The Scoop to have more of an internet presence than you. Her love for bagels and her obsession with The Bachelor franchise seemed to gather people into her corner.

“So,” she set her phone down after showing you the recent message she’d gotten from a bagel company in Michigan (a supply of one hundred bagels if she’d review them at 5 stars). “What’s up? How’s Harry?” A wiggle of her eyebrows let you know that she was just as enchanted by your famous friend as the rest of the world was.

“Well--actually, that’s why I’m here. He, uh, he invited me to go to Los Angeles this weekend. He’s got some meetings about his tour, finalizing some things. Said he thought it might be a good opportunity for the interview.”

Her eyes were wide. “Like, with him? This weekend?”

You nodded. “For the story, obviously.”

She thought on it for a second, her lips pursed together and she fiddled with a pen on top of her desk. “I like it--it’s like one of those day in the life pieces but you’re getting so much more, obviously, if it’s a few days.”

A sigh of relief.

She shrugged. “Kind of shocking he asked--he’s a pretty private guy from what I’ve heard, but as long as you’re okay doing that? I know you’d lose a weekend.”

“S’fine, yeah--no, it’d be cool for sure. Anything for a good story, right?”

She laughed, “how many times have you sat with him now?”

“Three,” you lied.

“And what have you touched on?”

“A lot of stuff about being solo, his take on life after meteoric fame, the things that make him normal,” you shrugged. That was all true--those were the things you talked about. But sometimes it was over a glass of wine on his sofa or when you stared at the ceiling before bed at night.

Her eyes lit up and she dropped the pen on her desk. “It’s going to be so good, Y/N! I can’t wait to read it!”

You nodded, forcing a smile before standing from the chair opposite her desk.

“So--I’ll talk with Tiffany and get a flight booked for you? I can have her reach out to his manager and get that squared away.”

“No, no--it’s not--he said I can go, like, on a plane with him.”

“With him?” Her eyebrows rose, a smirk on her face when you nodded. “You must be making a pretty good impression.”

“He’s just friendly,” you corrected. “Really down to earth.”

She laughed, leaning back in her chair and checking the text that lit up on her phone. “Probably the whole British thing--makes him feel at home, I bet. Hey--you don’t--did you live anywhere near him before he was famous? Have you bonded over tea or the Union Jack?”

The words tumbled out of your mouth, spilling onto her desk and landing in her lap before you could even process her question. “No, I grew up close to Leeds and I don’t know where he did. But yeah, I’ll be gone just Friday then for this and I’ll uh, I can get you a draft or something?”

“Well, it’s running online March 1st--so I’ll need the final by February 20th or so. Let’s just meet when you’re back and talk about the direction, sound good?”

A nod, a desperate nod to end the conversation in hopes of getting your heart rate somewhere near normal. You hurried out of her office and back towards your desk. A text from Harry waited on your phone.

Harry S (4:36pm): Can you stop and get cream on your way home from work?

A blush on your cheeks--you were headed to his, not yours, but he still called it home. As if it was yours, too.

If you weren’t convinced the first time, the second time really did you in. Champagne was much better at 30,000 feet.

The tiny plane was a recipe for motion sickness though, so after the first few sips, you didn’t have anything until dinner that night. A French restaurant in Malibu. One his friend had suggested.

He had a meeting the first morning, which gave you time to sleep in before he insisted on heading to a tiny beach. Barely ever crowded, he said. He watched you dance around on the sand, much warmer than anything in Britain. The waves were tall and strong, apparently dangerous if you didn’t know what you were doing.

He showed you how to get past them, dunking under the current when they rolled by or floating over them, face up towards the sky and belly in the sun. He kissed you in the car afterwards, signing at the top of his lungs when his own song came on the radio.

Always been a cocky boy, you chided.

On the second day he wanted to show you some of his favorite places. A diner on the Pacific Coast Highway, the house where he’d stayed with the band when they came for the first time. A smile stretched across his cheeks when he listed off the memories at each one, pulling you into a world of his that had existed without you for the last five years.

You tagged along to a casual meeting with his tour manager in the afternoon, lunch was an outdoor cafe with ivy growing up the egg-shell white walls. You’d felt the nervous energy in your chest--it wasn’t new.

But being in LA was. It was warm and sunny and Harry seemed to know the city like the back of his hand--he had a confidence here that he certainly lacked in New York.

It was also new to be sitting across the table from him, sunglasses over both of your faces while you sipped mimosas, almost free of worry about being recognized or photographed.

You’d talked it all out the night before, too. He reiterated the words he’d said in his living room a few days back. Don’t worry about it, s’gonna be fine. You can announce the story and people will believe it.

So when you came through the doors of the house hidden down a winding street off the coast, you didn’t expect to feel so frantic when you saw a picture of his hand on the small of your back. He’d disappeared into the kitchen, placing leftovers in the fridge that you’d insisted on taking home.

When he found you in the bedroom upstairs, knees to your chest as you zoomed in closer, his voice startled you.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?”

You looked up quickly, pulse rising as he came over to the bed to wrap his arms around your shoulders. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head, a noise tumbling out of his mouth when his eyes landed on the picture--still pulled up on your phone.

“Oh.”

You bit your lip, keeping your eyes on it when he pulled away. “S’a little close, huh?”

Anyone who looked at the photo would undoubtedly notice the way you both seemed so comfortable, his fingers grazing the hem of your shirt as you rounded the corner of the restaurant, heading for his parked car on the street.

“S’fine,” you said quickly, catching on to the nervousness in his voice. You wiggled your toes when you set the phone face down on the duvet. “S’alright--we knew they’d get one.”

“Yeah,” he nodded, his hands now on his hips. He’d taken off the sweater he’d worn to dinner--he was now clad in a simple t-shirt. “Have you looked at Twitter? S’there anything happening?”

Your lips inadvertently pushed out, avoiding his eyes for a few seconds before he shifted on his feet. He raised his eyebrows and nudged his chin towards you, a silent direction to open the app.

You pulled it up, tapping over to search your name. He stepped forward, chin over your shoulder while you scrolled.

“Honestly not terrible--they’re not really attacking you.”

“Yet,” the word slipped out between your lips, eyes peering up when he frowned at your insinuation. He stepped forward and laid down on the bed, chin in his hands as he looked up at you.

“Have you thought about what you’ll say?”

A shrug of your shoulders as he adjusted on the white duvet. A telly was mounted on the opposite wall--he promised you could watch a good movie before bed tonight.

“Just something casual. Might say that the story will be out in March. Dunno.”

He nodded, looking over his shoulder quickly to the attached en suite bathroom. A sigh escaped his lips, he turned back to look at you, eyes as wide as silver dollars when a smirk pulled at his lips. “Want dessert?”

“What?”

“I could go for fro-yo.”

“Fro-yo?”

“Yeah,” his brows furrowed together. “You’ve had it, haven’t you?”

“Yeah, Harry, I know what fro-yo is. You’re just extremely off topic.”

“Just don’t want you to stress. Let’s take a bath.”

You pulled your head back, amused by the wiggling of his eyebrows as he hoisted himself up from the bed.

“A bath?”

He was already barefoot on the tile floor, reaching over the empty tub to tug on the faucet. It took him a minute, but when he pressed the right button and twisted the right knob, water gushed down towards the drain, the sound immediately steadying your heartbeat.

He turned around, a cocky grin on his face as he waited for praise.

You repeated your question. “A bath?”

“Yeah,” his voice was so nonchalant. “I promised a romantic weekend and m’going to deliver, Smalls.” As if his not doing so would be tragic.

You shook your head, amused as he turned back around to check the temperature. He put his hand beneath the faucet, nodding proudly when he looked back to see you. “S’good.”

He reached his hands down to his waist, his fingers tugging at the fabric of his shirt to pull it up and over his shoulders. He let it drop to the floor, his gaze meeting yours when your eyes trailed up from the ink on his tummy. He shoved his hands between the skin of his hips and the waistband of his trousers, pushing them down to his knees before shimmying out of them altogether.

“Going to join?” The smirk on his face welcomed the dimples in his cheeks, his eyes playful as he removed the pair of boxer briefs around his hips. You felt a blush tint your cheeks. Even though it wasn’t a new sight, the clumsiness of sleeping with one of your best friends suddenly flooded the bathtub alongside the water Harry climbed into.

He watched with greedy eyes when you followed the same pattern of undressing, far more modest than he was when your skin was exposed to the air around you. He smiled up at you, the water just passing his hips.

“M’going to have to wait until there’s more water--you’re hogging all of it.”

He looked down, a mocked expression of panic crossed his face. His hands moved through the bath with smoothness, a confused look on his face when his eyes met yours. “Uh oh--looks like you’re going to have to be near me.”

“Piss off,” you quipped, a quick roll of the eyes as you lifted a knee to place one foot in the water. It was warm, goosebumps traveled up your thighs when he took your hands to offer support, your other foot followed suit until you stood between his legs.

You lowered yourself down to sit, the water settled below your belly button in the big tub, a warm sensation spread over your cheeks when he smiled at you. “What?”

“Nothin’--you’re just,” he shrugged, “pretty.”

You let your eyebrows raise quickly, falling back down when a small laugh escaped your lips--muffled by the still running water. “My eyeliner is probably smudged,” you told him, letting the pads of your fingers reach up to wipe beneath your eyes.

He reached for your wrist, pulling your hand to his mouth before pressing a kiss to the backside. “Thanks for coming with me,” he paused. “I’ve never taken a bath with someone who’s interviewed me before.”

“Okay,” you narrowed your eyes. “You ruined a perfectly sweet moment.”

He splashed a bit of water in your direction, giggling when you pulled another face.

“Alright,” he relented, clearing his throat when you watched him expectantly. “I, uh, I really like you, Smalls.”

The right corner of your mouth twitched up, the vulnerability in his voice was evident. His eyes seemed to search your face for emotion, something he desperately hoped to find.

The water still ran, the steady sound from the faucet kept time, seconds ticking by as you sat, naked, in front of him.

“Are you going to say it back?”

He looked fearful, like the silence between you was a threat to his sanity.

You waited, a bit out of fear and a bit out of a desire to make him squirm. “I like you too,” you said, a small nod. It was true, four words that would go down in history as a factual statement, but they didn’t even begin to capture the complexity of your relationship.

It wasn’t as simple as saying you liked him or saying you had fun with him. It wasn’t as easy as saying the sex was good and it was fun to sleep in his king sized bed and get driven around by Roger.

It was more than the lounging on his couch or the sneaking in and out of each other’s apartments.

Because what those words didn’t convey was the tightness in your chest when you thought about the weeks ahead. The interview, the tour, the rest of life as you knew it and the way it would cease to exist.

Saying you liked him didn’t explain that you were nervous he’d leave you again for the excitement of fame of fortune. It didn’t even begin to demonstrate the anxiety that coursed through your veins when you thought about the power he had over you now.

If he broke your heart back then, what could he do now?

You brought your eyes up to meet his, a deep green against the various shades of bathroom beige. He reached to turn the water off, “What is it?”

You licked at your lips, a drip from the faucet broke the silence, you forced a smile. Shrugged your shoulders. You didn’t have the words to begin.

“Y/N,” he said your name seriously, sat up more straight like his posture would pull it out of you.

Dipped eyebrows, a pout on his lips.

“Yeah?”

“What’s wrong?”

He reached for your hand underwater, his thumb rubbing a circle on top of your skin. You twisted your lips, bit at the inside of your cheek as you contemplated all the possible answers.

But that was when it hit you.

Maybe it wasn’t all his fault that things seemed to be two years too late. Maybe the real issue was your own inability to speak up--to tell him how you felt and wait for a response before running and hiding and cursing him out.

So, you took a breath.

“M’afraid.”

“Of what?”

A sigh. “Of you, I guess.”

He didn’t say anything, he watched you shrug again and laugh as if this was all silly. As if sitting between his legs in a bathtub in Beverly Hills was silly. As if flying to California and writing a story about him was silly. As if pretending you hadn’t always loved him would somehow change the narrative.

When he still didn’t speak, you knew he wanted more.

“Of what could happen.” You decided to edit that. “Of how this could ruin our friendship.”

Still quiet. He took a breath and let it out, blinked a few times before he let his eyes drop to the water, bending a knee to rest his elbow on top. “I know, Smalls--and that’s kind of why I didn’t want to rush to label anything, I guess.”

“What do you mean?”

He ran a wet hand through his hair to keep pieces from falling in front of his eyes. “S’why I said a while ago that I wasn’t seeing anyone else. I didn’t want you thinking that this,” a pause, he twisted a palm towards the vaulted ceiling, “means nothing. It means a lot.”

You nodded--it wasn’t necessarily that you believed him or knew what he meant, but you wanted him to keep talking. When you were silent, he took it as his cue.

“I don’t want it to ruin our friendship. But so far it feels like it’s just made our friendship better. Enhanced it, even. I kind of think that’s how relationships should be, yeah? A best friend that you’re attracted to, one who’s good in bed. I mean, that’s the whole package.” A smirk tugged at his lips and he tried to regain composure. “I’d rather you be my girlfriend than my friend, anyway.”

He shifted in the water, eyes on yours.

“Yeah?”

He nodded. “Yeah.”

He reached forward and pulled you close to him, your legs tangled beneath the water, fingers likely getting pruney. He kissed you, his lips all over your cheeks and your nose and your chin before he landed on your mouth, you could feel the way his lips curved into a smile.

“Only took you about a decade.”

He rolled his eyes, playful and exaggerated before reaching up to brush hair behind your ear. “Now you’re the one who just ruined a perfectly sweet moment.”

There was breakfast at a cute cafe, another meeting on Sunday morning before you met a few friends of his for lunch. A baseball cap offered privacy from the sun and the photographers that seemed to linger around every street corner--it took everything inside of you not to reach for his hand.

The hum of the airplane cabin on Sunday afternoon threatened to lull you to sleep, but you decided to use the time to brainstorm possible starts and middles and endings of the story. Words and sentences were jumbled on the screen of your laptop, Harry’s eyes were closed in the seat across from you.

There’d been photographers at the airport--there always are, he said. They called his name and somehow knew yours too. You wondered how much this would blow up on the other end of things, but luckily you had six hours in the sky to calm your nerves.

And writing usually helped. Hearing the sound of your fingers on the keyboard typically gave your heart something to beat along to. But this time, Harry’s hooded eyes closed after take off, a cup of tea was your only company as you tried, desperately, to draft up what felt a lot more like a confession than an interview.

A car waited at JFK--blacked out windows and a smiling driver that you didn’t recognize. You were dropped curbside at your apartment, insisting that you didn’t need any help up to your apartment. After all, there were likely enough suspicious photos from the weekend--evidence of Harry helping you into your flat was really just fuel for the fire at this point.

So you climbed the stairs alone after a kiss in the backseat, promising to text him later and probably even see him tomorrow.

He was happy--he seemed it, at least--when he referred to you as his girlfriend that morning on the phone with whoever was arranging your ride to the airport.

But you weren’t about to bust into the apartment and tell all that to Alyssa. Despite a few text messages that had been exchanged during the trip--including your guilt-ridden inquiry about her work event--you knew you had to tread carefully. You were still working your way back to baseline.

She was on the couch when you keyed in, pulling the hat from your head and hanging your keys on the hook beside you. She muted the telly, asking the normal pleasantries you ask someone after a trip, her curiosity seemed genuine, her excitement sincere.

Eventually, you handed her the small canvas tote bag you’d seen inside a store in Thousand Oaks.

She turned the fabric over in her hands, eyes inspecting the colorful display of landmarks. The Hollywood sign was painted on the front, the Capitol Records building and the Venice Beach sign adorned the lower corners.

“Figured you needed a new one since the one you use has a hole in the bottom.”

She laughed, eyes flickering over to the canvas tote that hung on a hook beneath the counter. You’d watched her stuff it to the brim multiple times. Spices, vegetables, baguettes and desserts alike. She’d gotten it when she first moved here--a few months before you. It was a tote from the Student Activities office of her former university.

“Thanks,” she said, still admiring it. “S’nice of you to think of me.”

“Alyssa,” you rolled your eyes, a bit dramatic to get a laugh out of her. “Just because you were mad at me for being a dick doesn’t mean I’d forget about you.”

She let out a sigh, standing from the couch as she tried to mask the smile on her face. “I, uh, have something to tell you.”

“Yeah?” You folded your legs beneath you, leaning forward on the cushions in excitement. You’d been home for less than an hour and things felt relatively normal--at least, as normal as they could.

“I met someone this weekend.”

“You did? Who is he?”

She shrugged her shoulders, eyes fluttering--a sure sign she was trying to play it cool. “His name is Owen.”

“Owen?!” You bounced in place, the smile on your cheeks stretched from ear to ear.

Alyssa rarely went on dates and she rarely talked about them afterwards. “It was fun and he was nice--asked me to see him again and I’m going to.”

And she never went on second dates.

“Bloody fuck are you mad?!”

“I just like him,” she laughed, lifting the empty tote bag over her shoulder, eyeing it in the mirror between your bedroom doors. “Looks good,” she said casually.

“Don’t change the subject,” you stood from the couch. “When are you seeing him again?”

“I dunno--later in the week maybe. Friday or something. Be cool about this, okay?”

“Okay, yeah,” you smoothed out your hair and cleared your throat. “I can be cool about it.”

“If you get freaked out about it I’m going to get freaked out about it.”

“M’not freaked out,” you lied. “Not at all.”

“Me neither,” she said, shedding the bag and letting it fall to the coffee table. “So it was good, the trip?”

You took a pause, settling back onto the sofa. You wanted to be honest with her without rubbing it in her face that you’d ditched her to fly off to LA for the weekend. You settled for a happy medium. “It was fun--we uh, had a good conversation about us.”

“About the two of you?”

You nodded. Pulled a piece of hair over your shoulder to braid it mindlessly while you spoke. “Yeah--he said he isn’t seeing other people and I’m not either so he said it kind of just makes sense to label it.”

The corner of her mouth curved up. “Yeah? Did he propose while he was at it?”

“Oh sod off,” you shot back quickly, thankful that the banter had returned to it’s typical state.

“Sounds pretty serious,” she padded over to the kitchen, the bottom of her sweatpants dragged on the floor when she walked.

You watched her reach for a bottle of wine, she raided the utensils drawer for an opener. “It was a good amount of seriousness,” you concluded.

She twisted the screw in, placed the bottle under her arm but looked up at you with wide eyes before she yanked the cork out. “That’s all you’re going to divulge?”

You pulled your legs up to your chest. “S’all there really is. He only said the ‘g’ word once.”

“The ‘g’ word?” Her ‘r’ was sharp when the cork popped out. “‘Girlfriend?’”

“Yes ‘girlfriend.’”

She giggled to herself, pulling two glasses from the cabinet before pouring them. She brought them back over to the couch after wiping them off, handed one to you, and sat.

“How’s that feel?”

You bit at your lip. Thoughts about it all had swirled in your head the entire flight home--especially when he pressed a kiss to your lips in front of the driver.

“I mean, we’ll see. I kind of addressed the whole distance thing over breakfast today and he said we can make it work. FaceTime and texting and trips out to see each other.”

“Phone sex,” she twisted a palm to the sky, her face serious before bursting into laughter.

“Alright--you’re unbelievable.”

“I’m kidding!” She pleaded, an eye roll in your direction when you reached for your phone on the table.

“I should probably tweet something about the interview anyway. There was a fair amount of photographers who saw us at the airport.”

You fell into a comfortable silence, thumb stretching along the screen to catch up with whatever had happened on Twitter over the last few hours. Alyssa hummed mindlessly and sipped at her wine, you almost scrolled right past it.

She was in a tan coat--one that dipped below her knees--a scarf that was green and gold. His arm was extended around her waist, the photo was hidden inside another tweet. You tapped your thumb to expand it, lips parting when your stomach sank.

Her lips were on his. His were on hers. Another photo--in a series of four--that showed their entire farewell embrace, outside of Harry’s apartment.

Nina Winters was a model--you knew her name and you knew her face, but that was about it. Long black hair that skimmed her dainty shoulders.

“He’s kissing Nina Winters,” you whispered, voice barely audible over the car that passed by your building on the street below.

“Hmm?” Alyssa looked up, her lips pursed together as she waited for you to repeat yourself.

You turned the phone around, shoving it in her direction without words--you didn’t want to speak them out loud again.

“Whoa--what the fuck is that?” She leaned forward and took it in her hands. “When is this from?”

You could see her scroll down, her fingers pinched the screen to close the photo out. “It’s from December,” she answered her own question. “The eighteenth. S’not now, at least, right? I mean,” she looked up at you again, face hesitant.

“No, s’not better! That was before he kissed me but it was when we were going home for Christmas and it was--I dunno, I thought there was already something there at that point.”

“Okay--so, we don’t know when they stopped seeing each other,” she said, her voice steady as she relocated to the cushion beside you. “Maybe that was the last time they spoke.”

She exited out of the Twitter app, her thumb pulling up a Google search. You watched her type it in. Harry Styles Nina Winters.

“Three million results?!” You pulled her hands toward you, eyes desperate for a closer look. “Great, fucking shit!”

You didn’t know if it was anger or sadness that swirled between your lungs. Both, maybe, with a bit of jealousy mixed in.

She selected a new photo--this time they were heading out of a restaurant, more space between them, a jacket over her shoulders in the cold New York night. “January,” she said, her voice more quiet than before. “This one is January 9th.”

You took it from her hands, a throbbing in your head as you looked over the picture. You knew the coat he was wearing, knew where it hung in his flat. “So--after we came back. After he kissed me and fed me all the rubbish about having feelings for me since 2010 or whatever the fuck he said.”

“What are you gonna do?”

You looked around the room, the swipe card to his flat catching your eye. It hung beside Alyssa’s keys near the door, you’d left it here while you were in LA.

“M’gonna go tell him to fuck off.”

Her eyes went a bit wide at that, she watched you push yourself off the couch as you scrambled for boots and a coat. “Are you sure? Do you want to like--wait a day or something?”

“No--I don’t owe him anything.”

“I’m not saying you do!” She corrected herself quickly, voice frantic as she stood from the couch.

“I’ll be back,” you grabbed the ring of keys from the hook, offering a sadistic smile over your shoulder. You shut the door, headed for the cold streets, and that’s when the tears hit.

You counted the blocks as you went--filling your mind with the arbitrary numbers kept you from trying to retrace every step. He’d fallen off the grid when you’d gotten home--didn’t text for a few days. His communication was shit when he was in California the week before last.

The time in his flat when you asked him about things he said to all the other girls.

But everything this weekend seemed perfect--a mere eight hours you ago you were floating on cloud nine as fifteen-year-old dreams had finally come true.

You didn’t even wave to the man at the front desk--Mark, you’d learned, was his name--before you hit the button and swiped the card Harry had given you two weeks back. Your heart worked harder than the lyft, thumping in your ears before the doors split open, pouring you into the living room, tear stained cheeks as a greeting.

He wasn’t anywhere to be seen. The living room was empty--a blanket on the couch, a suitcase in the middle of the floor, half unpacked.

Humming drifted down the hall, when he rounded the corner, surprise crossed his face and he stopped in his tracks.

“Wh--what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

You didn’t know how to say it. There was no sweet way to soften the blow or sugarcoat it. He’d never bothered to do the same, so at this point, you figured you didn’t need to offer kindness.

“I know about Nina.”

His face was straight, his body still. He blinked twice and a noise escaped his lips, but it didn’t form a word. Instead, his eyes locked on yours and a wave of anger spewed out a more coherent thought.

“I know you were making out with her inside of some restaurant in Chelsea right before you paid for my ticket home for Christmas.”

A pause--trying to collect his thoughts. You imagined his heart beat climbing, rising in to his chest and trying to settle in his lungs when he cleared his throat.

“Y/N it wasn’t like that,” his words were hollow--deflated and desperate when he took two steps closer.

“Fuck you,” you said quickly, the emotion bubbling in your chest. “I don’t care what it wasn’t. I doubt the pictures were doctored--were they? Is that was you expect me to believe?”

“No--I just--it was stupid and--”

“Shut up!” You screamed, more tears spilling onto your cheeks as your clenched hands shook by your side. There was a rage inside of you--one that wanted to break things or punch walls or type furious messages to this girl who had a hold on his heart before you did.

He didn’t say anything--he watched you carefully and seemed to be waiting for you to offer something more, as if you hadn’t given enough. Your boots were glued to the floor beneath you, the rubber soles that had carried you on slushy sidewalks to his flat had grown roots and planted themselves in the center of his living room.

He watched as you caught your breath, you counted in threes like your mother used to when you were a child. One, two, three. One, two, three.

“Smalls--I ended things with her--”

“Before or after you kissed me?”

“Well, after--”

“Did you see her after we came back from Christmas? After we slept together?”

A sigh--an answer in and of itself, one that didn’t need letters or vowels.

“Great--great, Harry! This is why I tried to stop all of this,” you motioned around his flat as if the couch held the memories of late night movies or the miso soup he’d spilled all over the carpet. “Because why would this ever work for us, Harry? We had plenty of time back then!”

He brushed over your admissions, voice louder when he rubbed at the back of his neck. “You don’t even know what happened, Y/N! You don’t even know what I said to her or why I saw her.”

“What I do know is that there is plenty of proof that there was something going on between the two of you while there was something going on between us.”

“I met her in August--we went on a few dates, I barely know her!”

“You snogged her in December!” The words flew out of your mouth and landed before his feet. He looked down, watching them puddle on the floor in front of him.

“If you don’t want to hear what I have to say, then why did you come here?”

The churning of a washing machine hummed in the distance, the suddenly mundane noises of kitchen appliances seemed suffocating.

“To tell you it’s over--whatever this was. This was stupid, it was all stupid!”

His lips parted, another squeak that didn’t amount to a word, one that floated over to you and hovered overhead.

“I’ll see you around,” you told him, wiping the tears on your cheeks and the snot from your nose. He didn’t try to stop you.

read the other parts here

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imagineteamfreewill · 6 years

Text

A Compromising Position

Title: A Compromising Position

Pairing: Reader x Cas

Word Count: 2,914

Warnings: Mentions of bad friendship, the flu

Square Filled: Movie Night

Summary: When you move into a new apartment after a falling out with your best friend, you find yourself falling for your new roommate. Based off this imagine.

A/N: This is a submission for @spnfluffbingo. It’s been a long time since I’ve written for Cas, so please give me some honest feedback on whether or not I should write more stories for him! I hope you enjoy this!

Your name: submit What is this?

_______________

You were almost in tears as you steered your car onto the street leading away from the apartment where you’d lived for the past five years, but you quickly blinked away the impending waterworks and muttered, “It’s for the best, Y/N. Don’t think about it too hard, just keep on driving.”

Someone behind you honked and you jumped a little in your seat, then pressed down on the gas and sped through the light, following the rest of the cars moving out of the city. You’d been living in the heart of Denver ever since you’d graduated college, and you honestly couldn’t imagine being anyplace else. It was home and it was a city you adored, but now that your roommate Sydney was getting married, you were out of luck. She’d kicked you out without a second thought, leaving you homeless in almost every sense of the word. If it hadn’t been for one of your old sorority friends taking pity on you after she’d evicted you, you would’ve been literally homeless.

Sighing, you flipped on your turn signal and merged onto the highway that would take you towards your new home. A cross-country trip wasn’t ideal, but despite Sydney staking claim on half of the furniture you’d purchased for your shared apartment, your car was still stuffed full of all your belongings. You could barely see out the back window. Flying wasn’t an option with everything you had to bring with you, which left driving as the only way to get to your new apartment.

“It’s just a new adventure,” you reassured yourself as you passed the signs telling you that you were leaving the city. “It’ll be fun. Castiel seems nice. He sounded smart and he was really nice on the phone. This is good. It’s gonna be good.”

The reassurement fell flat, however, and your felt your eyes welling up again as you passed by the restaurant on the very edge of downtown where you’d spent your last birthday. You had so many memories at the museums, coffee shops, and restaurants nearby, and you didn’t know what you were going to do now that you were leaving. Sure, there’d be other places in Baltimore to make memories, and you had your dream job waiting for you there, but it was hard to see the good in this situation.

Your phone chimed, reminding you of the notification you’d received as you’d been climbing into your car. After a quick glance around you to make sure there were no cops nearby, you picked it up and looked at the screen, quickly returning your gaze to the road every few seconds.

It was a text from your new roommate, and you smiled a little at the sight. He seemed to be just as considerate as you’d first thought.

‘Drive safe. Please call me if you need anything on your way. I have family all over the country that would be willing to help. - Cas.’

He even signed his name at the end, you thought with a tiny smile. Setting your phone back down in the cup holder, you chewed on your lip and mulled over his offer. It was generous—almost too generous for someone who’d never met you in person—but it seemed genuine.

You shook your head and cleared away the thoughts. Cas was nice. He’d be a great roommate, and everything was going to be just fine. At least, that’s what you kept telling yourself.

_______________

After parking your car in the small parking lot at the base of the building, you headed inside and took the stairs up to the fourth floor. You’d put the apartment’s address into your phone, and you took a quick glance at the room number before positioning your suitcase at your side and knocking on the door. There was no response for a long moment, and you frowned, worried that you’d gotten the address wrong. You were just about to turn around and leave when the door swung open, revealing a tall, lean man with black hair.

“Yes?” he asked, giving you a quick once over. His eyes stalled on your suitcase.

“I’m Y/N. Are you Castiel?”

“Call me Cas,” he said as he stepped out of the doorway with a smile.

You smiled politely in return and made your way inside the apartment, pulling your rolling suitcase behind you. “Thanks,” you replied, looking around. “It’s smaller than I expected.”

He nodded in understanding. “That’s what I thought when I first got here. It’s close quarters, but we’ll figure it out. You seem like a pretty flexible person.”

Nodding, you followed him through the crowded living room to the short hallway. There were only three doors, which Cas identified as his bedroom, the bathroom, and finally, your bedroom. You nodded as he spoke, but in reality, you were less focused on the words coming out of his perfect, pink mouth and more on the way his shoulder blades flexed underneath his simple gray t-shirt. He was muscular, you noticed, and you found yourself wondering if he worked out at home or if he would get a membership at a gym.

“Y/N?” he asked, peering at you, his hand resting on the doorknob of your bedroom’s painted door.

You blinked, instantly meeting his eyes. His bright, beautiful, blue eyes. “Yeah?”

Cas seemed to immediately understand what had been going on, and he gave you a little smirk. It wasn’t a cocky smirk, you noticed. It was more of a… cute smirk. A cute, humble smirk. You hadn’t even known that a smirk could be humble, but here you were.

“I asked if you would prefer pizza or Chinese for dinner,” Cas told you, his eyes sparkling with amusement. “The kitchen’s not quite organized yet and I thought it would be easier for the both of us just to order out.”

“Oh, okay. Uh, pizza sounds good. I’ll eat anything at this point. The last time I ate was when I stopped for lunch around 11:30.” You gave him a hesitant smile, relief flooding you when he returned it.

“I’ll order two, then. If you need anything, I’ll be playing video games in the living room. I hope you don’t mind that I play them, I find them relaxing. My friend Dean taught me how to play because my work can be… stressful,” he explained.

You shook your head. “I don’t mind. I might join you once I’ve unpacked a little?”

Cas’ smile widened at your suggestion. He seemed to be just as pleased as you were that the two of you were now living together. “I’d like that. A little competition makes things more fun, don’t you agree?”

“Most definitely,” you grinned. “Though I should warn you, I’m pretty good. When I was in college, I won the Greek Life Mario Kart competition.”

Chuckling, Cas ran a hand through his hair, mussing it slightly. “Well, I’ll be looking forward to that. Do you have anything you need brought up? I can take a break to help you. It’ll be dark soon and you don’t want to be outside when it does. This neighborhood’s not the best.”

You glanced out the small window at your car, biting down on your lower lip. “You can help if you want. I don’t want to bother you, at least, not so soon after moving in.”

“You wouldn’t be bothering me. It’ll get done faster, and I could probably use a break anyway,” Cas added.

After a moment, you nodded and pulled your car keys from your purse. “Alright. Come on.” You started walking back towards the apartment door, Cas in tow. “I don’t have a lot. We can probably get it done in two, maybe three trips.”

Cas nodded and followed you down the stairs and to your car. He began to load up his arms with boxes, and it wasn’t until then that you noticed that even though he was lean, he was strong. He was easily carrying more boxes than you and he didn’t even look like he was straining. What would’ve taken you several trips was only going to take you one, all thanks to him.

Holding back a dreamy sigh, you shut the hatch on the back of your car and followed Cas back up the stairs to your new home. He was silent the whole way, and when the two of you were finally back in your bedroom, he set down the boxes without a word.

“Thanks,” you told him, shuffling awkwardly. Were you supposed to hug him? Or was it too soon to be close with your new roommate? Did you hug male roommates, or did you shake his hand or something? Or was that too formal?

“Let me know if you need anything else,” Cas offered with a smile, interrupting your thoughts. With that, he left the room, closing the bedroom door behind him.

“I will,” you murmured, despite the fact that he was already heading down the hall. Sighing, you turned in a circle and surveyed all your belongings. There were way too many boxes for you to get all the unpacking done tonight, so you decided to start with your bedding and the clothes in your suitcase.

By the time all that’s done, you decided, the pizza Cas promised will probably be here.

_______________

“Y/N? Can I come in?”

Cas’ voice was muffled by the bedroom door, but his concern was more than palpable. He’d been checking on you every hour on the hour. It would’ve been endearing had you not been trying to sleep.

“Go away, Cas!” you groaned, pulling the pillow over your face. “I’ve got the flu, I’m not dying!”

There was silence from the hallway and after a minute you lifted the pillow to peer at the door. Guilt sunk like a rock to the bottom of your stomach and you sighed, rolling out of bed. He was only trying to help, you chided yourself.

Once you’d regained your balance and you were sure your dizziness from earlier in the day hadn’t returned, you sniffled and shuffled over to the door, tugging it open. Cas wasn’t there.

Frowning, you headed down the hall, following the lights. Cas had a bad habit of leaving the lights on when he left rooms, regardless of whether or not he would be back, and you smiled a little as you turned them off one by one. When you finally reached the living room, you were surprised to see your friend collecting pillows from off the floor.

“Cas?” you asked. He turned to look at you at the sound of your voice. “What are you doing?”

“I made a nest for you so that we could watch movies. I know that’s what you normally do in your room when you get sick, but I thought you might enjoy some company so I made it out here…” he trailed off, sheepish. “It was a dumb idea. I should’ve known that you’d probably just want to rest and be alone.”

You quickly shook your head, crossing the room to take the pillows he was holding out of his hands. “I don’t want to be alone anymore. I couldn’t sleep anyway. Let’s watch some movies.”

Cas smiled in response, clearly pleased that you’d liked his gesture. “Do you want to pick the movie?” he asked.

“You pick,” you told him as you leaned down to arrange the pillows on the floor. Once you deemed the newly-built nest satisfactory, you plopped down on one side. You patted the pillow on the floor beside you and glanced back at Cas. “Sit down, Cas.”

“You want me to sit with you?”

You nodded, then smiled when Castiel settled down after a long moment. He had the remote in his hand, and you took your time arranging the blankets over your lap as he looked through the movie options on Netflix. When he finally decided on one, Cas pressed play and set the remote down, reclining against the pillows as he did so.

“I’ve never seen this one,” you mused as you settled further back against your pillows as well.

Cas glanced over at you. “It’s good. I think you’ll enjoy it.”

Nodding, you kept your eyes focused on the TV throughout the beginning of the movie, but soon you felt your eyelids growing heavy.

Oh well, you thought as you closed your eyes the rest of the way, not fighting the desire to sleep. I’ll just have to finish it another time.

_______________

Cas didn’t realize that Y/N had fallen asleep until she sighed and shifted positions. Her head landed squarely on his shoulder, startling him. The weight of her resting on him wasn’t uncomfortable, not really. He didn’t mind it, so he didn’t move. Instead, he focused his attention back on the screen.

It wasn’t long, however, until Cas was shifting positions himself so that Y/N was further cradled against him. She curled into his side instinctively as he moved, and once he had finally gotten comfortable again, they were practically spooning. The movie was long forgotten.

Cas realized after a moment how she might react to their positions upon waking up, but strangely, he couldn’t think of any other arguments against it. She’d been shivering ever since she’d left the comfort of her bed, and he was more than willing to offer his warmth. Plus, Cas had to admit that he’d grown fond of her. More than fond, actually. He’d grown to love his roommate.

Y/N stretched and rolled over until her face was pressed against Cas’ chest, then snuggled closer. Her arm slipped around his waist as they’d laid like this a hundred times. She sighed happily in her sleep, and Cas felt a smile tug at his lips. Her warmth was inviting, and after a long moment, Cas found his eyes drifting shut as well.

It won’t hurt to rest my eyes for a few minutes, he thought as he allowed them to close completely. I’ll wake up before Y/N and move so that she’s not put into an awkward position because of me.

When Cas woke up three hours later, however, he was shocked to find that Y/N wasn’t in an awkward position at all. Much to his embarrassment, she was staring right at him when he opened his eyes and blinked to clear away the blurriness of sleep.

“We fell asleep,” Y/N whispered. Her breath smelled like toothpaste and Cas briefly wondered if she’d brushed her teeth before he’d woken up.

“Yes,” he replied. He wasn’t sure what to say. Clearing his throat, he tried to get rid of the gravelly tone that sleep always brought to his voice before continuing, “I’m sorry if we woke up in a… compromising position.”

Y/N shook her head, a tiny smile tugging at the corners of her chapped lips. “Don’t be. I’ve been wanting to wake up in a compromising position for a while. With you, I mean.”

Cas couldn’t help but pull back in surprise. “What?”

Chuckling a little, Y/N lifted a hand and slipped it around the back of Cas’ neck, guiding him back to her. She pressed her lips against his in a gentle, chaste kiss before meeting his eyes.

“Oh,” Cas murmured, “I see.”

Nodding, Y/N remained silent, searching his expression for some kind of sign. “Was that okay?”

Cas nodded in response, then leaned in and kissed her once more, this time with more enthusiasm. Y/N kissed back eagerly, and after a long moment, she pulled away and smiled wide at him.

“I don’t want to get you sick, but I loved that,” she told him, her eyes sparkling. “We’ll have to do it again sometime when I’m feeling better.”

“I loved that too, and I’d very much like to do that again, Y/N. I love you.”

Y/N laughed, moving her hand from behind his neck to lace their fingers together, resting their now joined hands on the blankets in the small space between them. She wasn’t tucked against him as much as she had been before, but Cas could still feel her warmth and he was glad that she wasn’t trying to move away so quickly.

“You can’t love me quite yet,” Y/N said, her tone light despite the seriousness of her words. “Maybe someday, after we’ve dated for a while, but not now. It’s too soon.”

“You want to date me?” Cas asked, surprised. Almost immediately he realized it had been a stupid question, and he quickly kissed Y/N again, forcing her to free her hand from his so she could push against his chest.

“Castiel,” she scolded, “you’ll get sick.”

“I didn’t know how else to cover up my stupid question,” he admitted with a tiny smile. She laughed and he felt as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“Now that we’re dating… may I take you out?”

Y/N nodded, chuckling slightly. “That’s what dating means, Cas.”

Cas’ smile broadened as he took her hand again. “Good. But first you should get better. Do you want to finish the movie?”

“Only if you promise to cuddle with me the entire time,” she replied, smiling up at him as she turned onto her stomach so her the arm she’d been laying on would be free to reach for the remote.

“I’d like that very much, Y/N.”

_______________

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selfish-ff · 7 years

Text

02: FEAR

Arielle

I looked at my ass in my body length mirror. I smiled and placed my hands on my knees before popping the cheeks. I laughed at myself and twirled in the mirror to take in the romper I was wearing. It was my favorite thing to wear during the fall, spring, and summer. Not only did it have my ass jumping, but the titties were popping too.

You could consider me slim thick, a coke bottle figure to die for. I had ass and titties, but my tummy was tight thanks to my daily morning workouts. I had an addiction to tattoos after getting my first, so I was covered in them. Many may say I was full of myself, but I just knew I was a dime. No one could tell me differently.

“…and all my bitches with the shits!” blared through-out my bedroom. I looked back at my phone to see that my best friend was calling.

“What’s up, Kay?” I answered, combing my fingers through my hair.

“You ready girl? I’m heading over there now.”

“Yeah, just honk when you’re outside.”

She agreed before we both hung up. I made my way into my walk-in closet. I slipped into my Michael Kors sandals, and grabbed the matching purse, both gifts from June. I bit down on my bottom lip just from the thought of him. He had a lock on my heart with his initials on it.

Sometimes I swore I had more love for June than I had for myself. It wasn’t just an attraction when it came to June, it was so much more. He had been with me through so much, and we have built a bond that would make it hard for me to ever let go.

June was almost perfect in my eyes, the only problem I had with him was his commitment issues. I could tell that he had love for me and may even be in love with me. But, he still has had the urge to fuck around on me through the years we’ve been together. I was fully aware of the lifestyle that he lived by but that shouldn’t excuse him from being faithful to me. He wouldn’t even agree that we should live together, and I know it’s cause he’s fucking around on me still. He claims he hasn’t but I find it hard to believe because of the past. One thing I was sure I knew about June was that he wasn’t a liar so I should trust in him.

Kayla honking outside snapped me out of my thoughts. I grabbed my keys off my night stand before rushing out my front door. I locked it behind me and headed over to my girl’s Lexus that Dontae had bought her. Dontae was more like Kayla’s sponsor than a boyfriend. They didn’t really do relationship type shit, like dates and staying the night at each other’s places. Dontae would just drop some cash on my girl and they would fuck. I knew it killed Kayla inside because she really wanted to be with Dontae exclusively.

“I’m gonna kill this nigga, Ari.” Kayla greeted soon after I got comfortable in the passenger seat.

“What did he do now?” I chuckled, and she sent a glare my way.

“I think he’s fucking with Kenya!” She whined, and my eyes bulged.

“Our boss?!” She nodded. I let out a harsh breath while pinching the bridge of my nose. “What happened for you to think this is going on?”

“Trixie sent me a picture of her leaving his place.”

I wanted to laugh at how neighbors could never mind their damn business. But, I was in utter shock that my best friend and boss were sharing the same nigga.

“Maybe, it’s not that…Maybe she hooked him up with an in-home tattoo or something. Have you talked to him since you found out?” She shook her head, and I noticed her eyes began to water.

“I don’t understand why this nigga keeps treating me this way. I haven’t done anything but ride for this nigga and love him. I wish Dontae was like June. Ya’ll are relationship goals.” She cried.

I kissed my teeth and rolled my eyes at her seeing my relationship as an example.

“June is not a saint, he used to and maybe still is messing around on me…” Kayla looked over at me with a ‘you know damn well he’s not fucking around’ look. I wish I was confident enough to say that I didn’t think he was.

“Well if you don’t appreciate him, pass him over this way.” Kayla joked. I shoved her making the car swerve a little.

“Only in your dreams, that’s my baby.” I cheesed. We pulled up to tattoo shop and I knew Kayla’s mood had gone back downhill by the look on her face. “Are you gonna be okay, Kay?”

She nodded, we both stepped out of her car. After walking around the car, I brought her to my side hugging her close. She wiped her eyes and smiled. My best friend was strong and I knew it would only take some time for her to realize her self-worth.

Just as we were about to step up to the tattoo shop the door swung open, and out came Dontae. He smiled at me showing off his gold bottoms. Then looked over at red faced crying Kayla, he frowned and walked up to her.

“What’s wrong with you?” She shook her head side to side instead of speaking up on how she felt.

“You need to talk to him Kayla…” I whispered to her, and she huffed out of annoyance.

“Can you tell Kenya and Libya I’ll be in there in 15?” I nodded, and went into the shop giving them their privacy.

“Good Morning, Ari.” Mali, the new receptionist greeted me. I smiled and walked up to the reception desk. She was a cute little something, and looked just like the both of her sisters. I had only known her for about a week and she was already my favorite out of the sisters. She was a sweetheart, and I found myself easily conversing with her every morning.

“I saw that photo you posted. I was weak as hell. You need to get a new roommate!” she nodded in agreement.

“Ten steps ahead of you girl, I already applied to switch rooms. I have never lived in such a pigsty before in my life. Feeling like I need to be walking around here oinking.” We both laughed.

“What are you doing for lunch?” I grabbed a mint out of the candy bowl.

“I’m actually meeting with someone for lunch, but we can do lunch tomorrow?” I stuck my thumb up and winked at her.

“Sounds like a date. Has my client arrived yet?”

“Yes boo. Come up here and talk to me whenever you’re free it’s get boring just sitting here.” She pouted like an infant, it didn’t help that the girl already had a baby face.

“Girl, you know I got you…” We shared our signature handshake before I headed back to get to work.

Mali

I promised my sister that I would pick up my niece and bring her back to the shop. So, here I was parked outside of my niece’s baby sitter’s house. I grabbed my phone out the cup holder, and hopped out of my fixed car.

“Damn baby, how you doin’ today?” I glanced back at the group of boys hanging out on the porch across the street. I waved and smiled.

I knocked on Ms. Keisha’s door, and looked around at the neighborhood to see everyone on the block outside enjoying the nice weather.

“You always coming around here with them little booty shorts on, come on in baby.” Ms. Keisha opened her door wide enough so I could walk in.

“Good afternoon to you too, Ms. Keisha.” I chuckled, she shooed me off.

We walked further into her house, pass the living room and into the kitchen. I showed off a toothy grin when I saw my niece, and she did the same when she saw me. She hopped out her chair with crumbs falling off her dress. She ran right into my open arms. I picked her up, kissing all over her smooth caramel face.

“Auntie missed her baby so much…” I squealed, hugging her tight to my body.

“Missed you!” She kissed me on the cheek, and hooked her arms around my neck. “Where’s mommy?” She frowned, with a pout.

“You’re gonna have lunch with auntie, then we’re gonna see mommy, okay?” She nodded excitedly. “Thank you, Ms. Keisha. Libya said next time she drops Lei off she’ll pass you the check.”

Ms. Keisha nodded, and rushed us out before the other kids started crying for their family. I hiked Leilani on my side as I scurried to my car. I opened the back door and buckled Leilani into her booster seat.

“Ayo, Mali!”

I stood up alarmed. I didn’t know that many people out here, and not many people knew me out here. I also knew not many people out here had the same name as me.

The person that the deep-toned voice belonged to jogged across the street over to me. Butterflies began to flutter in my tummy. I quickly patted down my hair and smoothed out my clothes, making sure nothing looked out of place.

June smiled seductively as he took in every inch of me. He bit down on his bottom lip and shook his head.

“You out here tryna get these niggas attention, shorty?” He teased.

I shrugged, not really knowing how to answer. Once again, I was nervous and shy around this man, he probably was thinking I was a fucking mute. I chuckled at my thoughts, causing him to show off his dimpled smile.

“That was cute. Why you never talking to a nigga? I scare you or some shit?”

Not only did this man scare me, but he also made me leak like a faucet. He was so fine and so damn assertive that it turned me on.

“No, I’m just tired.” I lied. He laughed, knowing damn well I wasn’t telling the truth.

“What you out here doing?” He furrowed his eyebrows. He looked around at all the niggas on the block while stroking his beard before looking back down at me.

I stepped to the side so he could see my baby niece in the backseat playing with the iPod Touch my sister bought her young ass. I shut the back door, and opened the driver’s door.

“Ms. Keisha…” he said to himself. “So, shorty gotta little shorty. Where’s baby girl’s daddy?”

“Her dad’s dead, and this isn’t my daughter. This is my niece.”

He stuffed his hands in his denim jean pockets.

“What you out here doing?” I mocked. He threw his head back and laughed.

“I’m just out here handling business, always. But check this, let me get your number just in case you have problems with your car again.” He licked his juicy ass lips, and smirked. This was one sneaky mutherfucker.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea. I’m just trying to focus on school. I’m not trying to date, fuck, or chill.” June nodded, and poked his whole ass head in the car.

“Hey, sweetheart.” He spoke to Leilani. Leilani gleamed, and waved. “You think your auntie should give me a chance?”

Leilani switched up to the other team and started nodding. I rolled my eyes, and looked back up at June. He had this knowing smirk on his face.

“TiTi, he so cute!” Leilani chuckled. I was through with her trading ass.

“Okay, I’ll give you my number but don’t think that means I’m interested in whatever it is your trying to pursue. I just like making my niece happy.” I shut my door, and rolled down my window. I read my number out to him, and rolled my window back up without waiting for a response. He tapped the hood of my car, and blew me a kiss. I shot him a head nod, then drove off to meet up with Mama Betsy for lunch.

Leilani and I walked into Red Lobster hand in hand. She was cheesing hard because this was her favorite restaurant.

“Good Afternoon, how many do we have today?” The hostess greeted.

“Actually, we’re here with Ms. Betsy.” She nodded, and then led the way to where Mama Betsy was sitting.

When mama Betsy watched me and Leilani walk up to the table her face brightened. She hugged me and then picked up Leilani, holding her tight.

“I didn’t know you were bringing a little treat with you, Mali.” Mama Betsy smiled, referring to Leilani.

“Yeah, I’m heading back to my sisters’ tattoo shop after we leave here to take her to her mom.” I responded, slipping into the booth across from Mama. She sat back in her booth with Leilani in her lap like she was a baby.

I bet my niece was loving all this attention. She knew damn well she wasn’t getting babied like this from her mom nor her aunties.

The waitress came to the table, giving mama her drink and jotting down my drink then Leilani’s. When she walked off Leilani grabbed her crayons and began coloring on the coloring page they gave her.

“So, this precious thang is one of your sisters?” Mama Betsy questioned, and I nodded.

“Yeah, my sister had her back when we lived in Atlanta.”

“How old is she if you don’t mind me asking?”

“She’s about to turn four in a month. Our little baby turning into a big baby.” I pouted, remembering when Leilani was born.

“Time flies, speaking of time how is school?” Leilani squirmed out of Mama Betsy’s lap, and sat beside her. She sucked her bottom lip in and focused on her coloring.

“Everything’s good but my roommate situation.” Mama Betsy laughed.

“I knew that wouldn’t last long honey. I know someone you could room with. The roommate she had already dropped out.” I arched my brow, encouraging her to give more information. “Her name is Dylan, this is her first year too.”

“How do you know her?”

“Her grandmother is my bestie, girl! Back in the day me and her grandma used to pop it on these very streets.” I chuckled, and shook my head at how silly Mama Betsy was.

“I’m actually very interested, I need to move out as soon as possible.” She nodded in agreement.

The waitress came back, dropping off our drinks. She wrote down our orders and asked if we needed anything else. I made sure to remind her to bring out another basket of their hot cheddar biscuits. They were my favorite thing about this restaurant.

“I’ll call her grandmother up tonight to see if her room is still available.”

“How long have you lived in Cleveland?” I asked, while pulling apart a biscuit.

“Oh child, for years. I stopped counting the years a long time ago.”

“You have three grandsons only?” I stuffed the half of the biscuit into my mouth, then took a sip of my water. Mama Betsy tilted her head and smirked.

“No, I actually have four. I have three grandsons from my son, and one grandson from my daughter. You’ve met June…Then there’s Dontae, Jahari, and Chris. They all are knuckleheaded little boys.” She laughed, and shook her head. “I’d do anything for them boys though.” I smiled.

“I actually saw June today…” I felt the need to say.

“Now I love my grandsons, but I want you to be careful baby. They all aren’t the best when it comes to dealing with women. I could tell the first time I met you that you would have a kind and caring soul. By you reaching out to me for lunch and the conversation that we are having I can tell that I was right. This being said, I wouldn’t want anyone to tarnish the glow that you have baby.”

I nibbled on my bottom lip, not knowing what to say in return. I mean I thought June was fine as hell, but I knew he wouldn’t be good for me. I don’t even think I ever had the thought to pursue anything with him. I just saw it as a crush that I wanted to keep to myself.

“I understand, Mama Betsy…”

“Just call me Mama, honey.” She grabbed a hold of my hand, and squeezed it tight. The warmth of her skin made it seem like everything would be alright. “Now, let’s talk about these sisters you have and their shop you said?”

“Yeah, both of my sisters run a tattoo shop downtown. You should come in one day and check it out. I’m the receptionist there until I can find a job in connection to the field I’m studying.” I spoke excitedly. Mama Betsy chuckled, making me frown.

“What’s funny?”

“Nothing baby, you’re just so passionate about everything. I adore that about you. I never asked, but what are you studying?” The frown fell, and a smile lifted back on my face.

“Early childhood education, I want to be a kindergarten teacher.” I cheesed just from the thought of having my own classroom and the impact that I’ll place on so many children. I couldn’t wait.

“That’s fitting. You’ll be a great teacher…” Mama gently replied.

Our waitress came over with our meals. We all ate like we hadn’t ate for days. The food was so good. Leilani ended up dropping a lot of alfredo sauce on her jean dress. I went to the bathroom and changed her in a t-shirt and her sweat shorts. After we finished eating Mama promised to get in contact with me about Dylan. We talked little about meeting up again before we went our separate ways. I played Leilani’s favorite Beyoncé album, B’ Day, and headed back to the tattoo shop.

June

“Told yo ass you were about to get caught up in some shit…” I laughed. Dontae glared over at me, before walking off towards the warehouse.

“Stop messing with that nigga before he throws the iron hammer to yo dome.” Jahari goofed. I laughed with that nigga and we both followed behind Dontae.

The lights were off in the warehouse. I frowned, and looked around confusingly. This nigga Chris was supposed to already be here for our meeting. I wanted to get this shit over with, I was tryna hit Ari up on some late-night shit after this.

“Fuck all that shit you niggas are talking about, where the fuck is this nigga Chris?” Dontae barked with his grumpy ass.

“I’ll call that nigga, last time I heard from him he was leaving some class.” Jahari reminded us.

I had completely forgot that our cousin was enrolled into CSU. We had all got our business degrees except for this nigga so we pushed him into getting the shit done. He wanted to build up his own little lounge downtown but with that he needed to learn about the ins and outs of having a business.

“Yo, tell Arielle to stop getting into my shorty’s head, aight?” Dontae spoke, while we waited for Jahari to come back with news about Chris’s whereabouts.

I looked at this nigga Dontae like he had lost his damn mind. He knew damn well I didn’t get involved with all his messy shit, including the advice my girl gives her best friend about them. I didn’t give two fucks about no grown man’s dealings with some females.

“Man, Dontae get the fuck away from me with that stupid shit.” I gritted threw my teeth.

Dontae’s ass decided to step to me, cracking his knuckles and shit like he was about to do some shit. I arched my eyebrows, and clenched my jaw.

“Nigga, you better back the fuck up. I ain’t scared of yo jolly giant ass.”

With that being said, this nigga actually decided to throw one, I dodged that bitch and hit him with a two piece. Dontae groaned, then growled and tackled my ass on the dirty ass ground. We were tussling on the ground until our younger brother and cousin came in, pulling us apart.

“What is wrong with you niggas? Get in the fucking office!” Jahari spoke angrily. Jahari was the funny one out of all of us but when he got mad, he was the worse to deal with.

I huffed while stomping to the office. Even though Dontae was my brother he really had me fucked up. He was really letting these girls get in his head. He needed to chill the fuck out before I got our father involved in this shit.

“Why ya’ll going at it?” Chris coolly questioned. He was the calmest out of all of us.

“This punk nigga mad because both his bitches know about each other. No more pussy for this nigga.” I laughed, and Dontae lunged for me.

“Dontae sit your hotheaded ass down. We don’t have time for them female games tonight. Tonight, is about business, calm the fuck down!” Jahari shoved Dontae back down in his seat. Dontae sent me the meanest glare he could muster before he smoothed out his clothes and cleared his throat.

“So, I checked all the numbers last night, every single business is running smoothly except for our streets.” Chris informed. “Chelsea, the trap over closer to Mama’s was running low this week and I have a feeling it’s that nigga Jordan.”

I sighed deeply, sinking further down in my chair. I knew damn well it was that nigga Jordan, he thought since he sold the most out all our soldiers he should get some kind of raise. This nigga has been caught slipping into our cash more than once. In my opinion it was time to off this nigga. Jahari and Chris swore that if we killed that nigga we would be losing a lot of money. But, we were already losing a lot of money with this nigga dipping his hand into our shit.

“I know this nigga ya’ll favorite, but I’m about to piss in this nigga’s cereal.” I flat out admitted, and they all knew what I meant. I was gonna ruin this nigga life, by ending it.

“I’m with June, ya’ll niggas be letting this nigga slide with every fucking thing.” Dontae agreed.

That was one thing about us. Even though we may argue and fight at the end of the day we were brothers. So, we would always have each other’s backs.

“I actually agree with ya’ll…fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice, shame on me…POW!” Jahari made the gun motion with his hand. I smiled approvingly, this nigga finally agreed with us instead of Chris.

Chris sighed and shrugged.

“I’m with ya’ll on this, surprisingly.”

We talked some more about a plan to off Jordan. We knew the nigga had a sister that was enrolled into CSU. We had no idea where this nigga lived. We never knew when the nigga showed up at the trap to work or nothing. Our best bet was to get our information on his sister and make a little visit. Shorty would easily give us information about her brother cause I guess her grandmother used to run deep with Mama Betsy.

Niggas stay getting way too comfortable. It was time for us to snap these niggas back into their places.

#Fan Fiction #Fan Fic #FF #Dave East #Selfish #Chris Brown #The Game #Bryson Tiller

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hamil-tonn-of-trash · 8 years

Text

Hamfam Snow Adventures

Prompt: One November morning, it snows for the first time the hamfam is united in New York. Two weeks later, we initially decided to go sledding in the mountains.

Words: 2247

Warnings: Cursing, sarcastic humor, your dirty mind.

Notes: Now I’m not the best writer in the world and I cannot write endings for the life of me but I love you all so much and I want to express that. Also if I am unsure of your pronouns I just wrote “they/them if you want your pronouns changed let me know so I can edit the story. Also I skimmed over this and didn’t heavily proofread this so there may be errors. Also I hope this isn’t too much about me because I’m trying to avoid that. The portrayal may be a little inaccurate but I tried my best.

More important notes: If I didn’t mention you personally, it just means that I haven’t taken the time to get to know you. All of you are amazing, special snowflakes!! This is based off of the fic that Ams @sasstran wrote, make sure to check it out for a better idea of what’s going on! It’s worth it, they’re an amazing writer.

Tags: @its-the-hamfam @thatuglydino @5secondsofhamilton @sasstran @secretschuylersister @musicalmiranda @psychedemigod @building-palaces-from-paragraphs @starfreckledlaurens @casual-hamiltrash @hamiltrashtothemax @piercethemarti @matt10nt I probably forgot a whole bunch of people sorry!

When I first moved to New York, my mind was blown by the immensely rich culture, the glitzy, flashy lights of Broadway, the accents and the most exciting: the snow.

The first time it snowed when we moved here was two weeks ago. I am usually a heavy sleeper but the honks and whooshes of the taxis, the constant echoes of people taking outside and the unfamiliarity of the place wakes me up every night around three A.M. I figured that trying to coax myself back to sleep wasn’t going to work so I sat up and stared out the window into the city that never seemed to sleep. Something had changed around me, something was not the same. (You catch the Wicked reference? Sorry not sorry)

The drizzling of soft flakes floated down from the heavens and I bolted out of bed. Ecstatic to go scream to my best friends about the snow. I busted open the door to Poppy’s bedroom, sprinted over to her and shook her until she woke up. “POPPY HOLY SHIT IT’S SNOWING OUTSIDE!!’” (I whispered this urgently, I’m not THAT insane) Poppy blinked in confusion and replied: “Brandy, it’s three in the morning and you almost dislocated my left arm to wake me up only to tell me that’s IT’S SNOWING?!!!!”

“Uhhhhhh yeah I mean it’s exciting I guess?” I answered blankly.

A grin crossed Poppy’s face and she chuckled “WELL THIS IS A FUCKING MILESTONE I’LL GET MY CAMERA AND WE’LL TAKE PICTURES OKAY?”

“Okay.”

After getting dressed we decided to not wake anybody else up because last time we woke the entire group up to announce that we were going mini-golfing, Gee practically killed us. Quietly giggling we attempted to tiptoe out of the apartment complex. Yet, another soul was awake in those blissful, shadowy hours. Taylor emerged from her apartment with her arms crossed with a smirk.

“Are you guys trying to sneak out?” She inquired.

“No, it’s just snowing outside and we want pictures labeled: ‘First Snow’.” Poppy explained and Taylor nodded and went back into her apartment. An awkward moment of silence filled the empty hallway. Momentarily, Taylor and Rebekah reappeared dressed in their winter gear and we finally stepped outside into the crisp, frigid air adorned by snowflakes swirling around like ballerinas on a stage.

Rebekah and Taylor sat on the entrance steps and hugged while Poppy started snapping pictures and I simply stared at it in awe. I stuck out my tongue to taste the flavorless, icy flecks until Poppy shook me out of it.

“Earth to Brandy? Time for a group photo!” I sat down next to Rebekah and Taylor and Poppy asked a stranger to take it for us. I’m pretty sure Poppy gave the guy an extensive tutorial on how to take a fucking photo because when he was about to take the picture he said:

“Say ‘Hamfam’!”

We thanked the man and sent him on his way and we chilled on the doorsteps to an apartment where the rest of our family slept until we got sleepy and fell back asleep.

——————————-

November 26, 2021 9:26 AM

That moment was captured and taped into our scrap book to be kept forever but now we were all going to go for a day trip up in the mountains to go sledding. Well at least almost all of us, the rest had work or school related stuff going on so they couldn’t come with us. It took us months to find a date that would accommodate to all of our work schedules but it’s hard when you have fifty people. We all loaded up into three separate cars (with some people sitting on other’s laps) and got comfy for the long drive.

Maaike, Dorian, Gianna, Julia and I all piled into Gianna’s little blue car. Ams, Sage, Hunter, Taylor, Rebekah, Cass, Psy, and Shy crowded into Taylor’s comfy, shiny SUV. Gee, Marti, Poppy, Lea, Ari and Zoe took a cheap Chevy convertible that we all chipped in to buy as a community car. Mainly because we were blacklisted from cab services for asking all the cab drivers to play musical’s.

The second Gianna started the car “Alexander Hamilton” stared playing. Gianna was bobbing her head to the beat while the rest of us were going insane and banging our head manically as we drove through the heavy New York traffic. Once “Farmer Refuted” came on Maaike and I thought that Gianna was having a stroke or something because she almost hit a stop sign and almost got into an accident with a taxi. “GIANNA!” Julia screamed into her face as Gianna suddenly snapped back into reality. “Oh sorry guys, I was thinking about Thayne’s butt.” I leaned over to Dorian and whispered: “She hasn’t changed one bit since 2017.” Dorian nodded in agreement and laughed a little.

“BRANDY! SCOOCH YOUR FUCKING ASS OVER I HAVE NO ROOM.” Maaike screeched and the rest was cursing in Dutch. It should be noted that we go ballistic and playfully attack at each other but we never actually fight. I moved and Julia whipped out her Milky Way.

Gianna’s eyes widened and she reached for it and joked. “YOU KNOW WHO LOVED MILKY WAYS? BenNAY WOOOOOOOOOOO!”

“You aren’t getting any from me.” Julia smirked and devoured the entire bar in front of Gianna’s face. “Also, you’re not paying attention to the road Gianna.”

“Oops.” ——————————–

12:43 PM

After a very long two hours of driving and watching the scenery change we reached our destination. A winter wonderland perfect for a group of angsty long-term Hamilton fans who came from Hawaii to Austria. When I opened the car door, a blast of freezing winds pierced my skin and I already started to crave the warmth of the desert sun.

But the warmth of spending time with my family felt warmer than a fire.

Gee looked exhausted from the drive but there was still a spark of excitement under that. Psy and Shy loaded out the sleds from the trunk and we started to search for a nice hill without too many pointy sticks that would impale one of us. Sage and Hunter sang the lyrics to “A Winter’s Ball” and Cass snapped that it wasn’t even winter yet which caused Sage to chuck a small stick at Cass but ended up missing by about two feet. “A Winter’s Ball’ turned into singing holiday carols in like five different languages.

Eventually, we found a damn hill and we all voted that Ari and Zoe got to go first for actually cleaning up their apartments (including their roommate’s spaces). They both mounted the sled and out of the blue, Hunter forcefully pushed them down the hill at full speed. “WHAT THE FUCK!” Zoe exclaimed as the sled almost slapped a nearby tree. The wind whipped their faces as we all gasped in shock. The sled slowed down and they shot us synchronized glares but then they laughed and gestured for another group to ride down.

I have no clue if letting three sleds go down at once is safe but it happened. Marti and Dorian collided and they rolled down and high-dived and Ams was the ultimate sled GOD. They’re taking this sled by the reigns making the hamfam envy them insane-ly!!! With amazing steer and a calm conscious, Ams beat all of us in the first round. I wish I could tell you what was happening in their brain!

It was Shy and I’s turn now and to be honest, I was pretty nervous because the last time I went sledding I had a breakdown…yeah long story. Shy waved me over to join them and then merrily we roll along a huge ass hill. A rush of adrenaline kicked in and I think it was the same for Shy because I felt them perk up a little. The sled raked against the thin layer of snow as we both felt the friction of the snow and the raft building up until suddenly it turned over and I felt myself tumble in the frozen abyss (headfirst into the abyss). I don’t think either of us were Elsa because one, we are not magically immune to the cold, and two, we are both from not-so-cold places. The cold bothers everyone except for Ams because Ams is magical (well yeah and they’re from Finland). I dug my way out and I looked up to see my friends gasping and still laughing from the epic sled fail.

“Are you two alright?” Zoe said, shocked.

“IT’S COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!” I whined and shakily stood up. Where Shy had already got up.

“Okay, sledding isn’t too safe because Marti has a bruise on her forehead and that sled is in pieces…Anybody have ideas for something a little safer?” Rebekah asked. A smirk appeared on Gianna’s face and her eyebrows were raised. This couldn’t be good, I knew that look. Gianna had an idea. “SNOWBALL FIGHT!!!!!!”

Within only a few moments, the entire situation was in turmoil. Everybody was violently chucking humongous snowballs at each other. Cass hit three people in one shot by throwing multiple snowballs at once. Poppy was aimlessly propelling lumps of snow that mostly hit trees. I think Dorian, Taylor and Lea teamed up and approached a small group of people who were huddled up in fear and completely wrecked them. Gianna somehow climbed a tree and was forcefully flinging white balls of mush at everyone’s head. I watched as Rebekah tripped over a stick and Ams ambushed her by lightly putting the snowball on top of her head and they both laughed and hugged. As I was trying to escape the chaos I found Ari behind a tree catching up on another TV show on her phone.

“Move over dumbass.” I laughed as Ari rose an eyebrow at me and I felt a cold sensation splatter across my face and I realized that I had fallen for one of Ari’s tricks. I cracked up and I might’ve cried, I don’t know. “That HURT!” I stuttered as I barley held in my laughter. “Your fault…dumbass.” Ari responds with a quick “that was so satisfying” under her breath.

“HE WILL NEVER BE SATISFIED, SATISFIED, SATISFIEEEEEEEDD!” Hunter bellowed.

“NON-STOP.” Maaike yelled.

A couple seconds later the entire group was surrounding us and singing non-stop harmonies.

“I love you guys.” I cried with tears of happiness (and pain from that damn snowball) rushing down my face. It got all corny with agreements and cuddles until Julia piped up:

“I’m hungry, is there food nearby?”

“YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE WITH FOOD!!” Gianna raged in fake anger.

“So??” Julia protested.

“CHILDREN CALM DOWN!” Marti intervened. “It’s been decided by the rest of us silently that we will go down to the lodge and eat food!” We nodded and loaded up the cars and drove a little further down the mountain to a lodge with a heater (thank god) and home cooked meals. We practically took up half the restaurant and we all got hot drinks and ate comfort foods. Some people got fried chicken, hamburgers, baked potatoes and macoroni and cheese. We feasted and it took about twenty minutes to split the check and the waiter got super impatient with us because two glasses were spilled and we treaded snow into the restaurant but we didn’t really care either way. While everyone was having a blast I couldn’t help but watch the snow flutter against the windows with a beauty I was unfamiliar with.

The drive back was full of Gianna’s short attention span, show tunes, and screwing around with friends (you fucking perv not that way!). It was around 10:30 when we got back and after relaxing and unwinding there was a problem. Nobody else was there. It was like Roanoke because there was zero traces of where the rest of them went. They shouldn’t have work this late and even if a couple did overtime it wouldn’t be EVERYONE. Psy called all of us over from the unsuccessful search party and showed us a note somebody had wrote.

“Since you decided to have your own fun time, so did we. We’ll be back eventually ;))))”

“Oh shit.” We all sighed in unison.

——————————– A check in on the rest of the fam 11:01/ 23:01 PM

There was a local bar called “The Spin” where approximately thirty Hamilton nerds were hanging out for the night. Some of them drank plain old beer, some drank cocktails and the underage ones drank soft drinks (how the fuck did they get in?). Jo raised a small glass for a toast and said: “YOYOYOYOOOOO IT’S BEEN A-MA-ZIIINNNNG TONIGHT!!”

Reiley continued the toast by saying: “WE TROLLED THEM OUT OF THEIR MINDS!!”

“YUP!” Shannon said as they played footsie with Rosey and Grace under the table.

“LET’S GET EVEN MORE FUCKING DRUNK OR SUGAR HIGH FAM!!!” Vanna screamed and eventually the bar owners left while this group of drunk nerds happily sang show tunes and decided to come back in the morning when they’re gone.

One of the owners left the door open and snowflakes crept into the bar. For just a moment, within everybody’s hearts from the steps of an apartment complex to a flashy bar miles away, there was a feeling, a knowing of interconnectedness between every single one of them.

#Brandy writes #hamfam #i have a bad feeling about this #brandy's fan fic

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