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danmei-confessions · 8 months

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Adding my two cents as a survivor of multiple forms of abuse (including CSA): I *really hate* how this fandom acts about abuse narratives-- demonizing one abuse survivor vs another, when in reality both of them have done fucked up things as a result of their trauma (it's what makes both LBG and SJ so compelling to me personally!!). I *especially* hate how people seem to basically "tier" abuse, with SA being the "worst trauma" over any other kind and acting as though SJ is more worthy of... pity? idk because of implied CSA (which... that in itself is fanon and up for interpretation... I personally think so, but in a somewhat different way than the usual interpretation but that isn't important) than LBG is... that might not be peoples' intent, but physical vs sexual abuse shouldn't be a "this is worse than that" sort of thing since different traumas affect different people differently, and it's really really uncomfortable to see people make that kind of assumption and talk about very real traumas that very real people face the way they do.

Anyway, I feel like a lot of the debates are due to piss-poor reading comprehension across the fandom. People point out that SJ abused LBH because *a lot of times people will actually act like he didn't.* Things like saying there was medicine in the tea, or that he didn't know/approve of the fake manual... even claims that "that was just the way things were and corporal punishment was normal." Which... is pretty gross tbh.

I like SJ's character as a person who was hurt who then turned around and took that out on others. He's one of my favorite characters because he shows that less inspiration-porn, poor-meow-meow side of a trauma survivor. It's realistic in a very gritty, bitter sort of way. That shit can fuck people up! I relate to him for so many reasons, but that doesn't mean I'm going to deny what he ended up doing by his own agency later. The cycle of abuse is a real danger, and SVSSS actually portrays that really well, which is why I like the book so much!

Idk. SJ stans claim they "don't excuse his abuse" but that's absolutely not true bc I've had people come on my posts and fics doing just that. It's like they miss the point of the character-- not completely scum, but both scum and pitiful... Some people seem to go too far in the defense.

Also, if you're someone who doesn't deny that SJ abused LBH, then *this isn't about you.* It's about the people who do. People in this fandom need to realize that both SJ and LBG are abusers, and that that's the POINT OF THE WHOLE THING, and that neither of them should be excused for it!! But the source of it should still be recognized in both cases!! And I feel that a lot of people don't like to admit that SJ, despite his trauma, *was* the cause of a lot of LBH's trauma. And me saying this ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT ERASE HIS OWN TRAUMA OMG but like... those SJ fans are already well aware of SJ's trauma and LBH's crimes so it doesn't really need to be mentioned??

LBG and SJ were BOTH TRAUMA SURVIVORS. Neither "Worse" than the other because uhhh clearly they were both incredibly traumatized because of the way they ended up turning out. Stop ranking trauma, that's disgusting.

But BOTH OF THEM WERE ALSO ABUSERS.

That. Is. The. POINT. OF. THEIR. STORY!!!!

This is at ANYONE who denies either the victim or the abuser status of either of these characters: fucking stop it. You might not like to hear it, but no matter how traumatized SJ was, the way he treated LBH was still abusive and if you excuse him for it then you're participating in abuse apologism. The same goes for LBG (and any other character whose actions are abusive).

I know we get attached to our favorite characters for various reasons, but when it actually starts veering into abuse apologism IN ANY FORM, that makes me feel really sick and uncomfortable with the way people talk about things that *actually happen to people irl.*

SVSSS fandom, you need to fucking stop.

#danmei confessions #svsss #shen jiu #luo bingge #discourse #salty pickle jar

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deadqueenz · 1 year

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Eddie Gluskin x Female Reader: My Everything

Part Two: Lady Killer

Warning mentioning of SA

Happiness is hard to find, let alone to keep. Memories you wish you could erase and wash yourself clean of those who harmed you. Mentally, physically, emotionally, and lastly verbally. If there was truly a way to turn back time, or to wash oneself clean and pure like the winter snow, imagine how far people would go to get it.

Even if it was free, there are some who would be greedy to keep it to their-selves. There would even be some who would use it for bad reasons, instead of for good.

Fascinating. Isn't it? How one can go from being good to bad? All it takes is one push in that direction, and you've created a monster. But most times, it's never the victim's/survivor's fault for things that happen to them.

It's the monster and their sick mind.

Eddie Gluskin, what type of man would he be if those monsters never got to him? How many times did his mother turn her back on him when he was only a mere child begging for her help? The sorrow in her eyes, overshadowed by disgust. She feared her husband, but at the same time, how could she sit back and let what happened to her son happen?

Unfortunately for Eddie and his mother, the fear won every time. She would bite her nails or lower lip until it bled, trying her damned best to focus on her wifely duties and block out the noises until the ordeal was over. And even then, she couldn't bring herself to look her son in the eye afterwards.

The guilt ate at her like a hungry wolf tearing into its prey. Alcohol became her best friend, a lover that made her feel warm and fuzzy on the inside, bringing a beautiful blush to her cheeks. She drunk in secret, not even the bastard she was forced to call a husband knew about her addiction.

Even if he did, what would he do? He drunk like a fish out of water himself! And it was best to keep quiet about his bastard of a brother, at first, he didn't live under the same roof as them, but as he once put it; "his living conditions become unstable as of late." Leaving the bastard to live with them and able to do as he wished like his brother.

Mrs. Gluskin can't even begin to remember the countless times she felt and seen him watching and hovering over her. When she was in the shower, or simply taking a bath, she knows she's closed the door behind her, but it didn't help when she would feel eyes on her, seen the door open a crack through the bathroom mirror, or seen him just standing there, smiling creepily at her; 'I needed to use the bathroom, but unfortunately, you were in here.' That accursed damned lie.

Locking the door was futile, considering the house they were forced to share both the Master bedroom bathroom and the other one. Her husband would get furious and may even take the lock off again, let alone beat her until he was satisfied or couldn't wait any longer to shove a bottle of beer down his gullet.

To forget her pain and sorrows, she would wait until the bastards leave for their usual bar, grab her preferred liquor or wine for the night, play some music and soak in a long well-deserved bath. By that time, Eddie would've been dreaming of sheep but unfortunately, he was wide awake.

His small body grown immune to the sleeping medicine.

He made his way to the bathroom, finding the door ajar and his mother slurred voice singing loudly to her favorite song, fully submerged in the bath water up to her chin. her eyes glossed over as she stares up at the ceiling, taking a swig from the large suds covered bottle before letting it slip back into the tub.

Out the corner of her eye, she spots a tiny black-haired figure peering around the doorway, she smiles; laughs even, before telling Eddie he could come in. Hesitantly, he slowly made his way over to his mother, stopping a few inches away from the tub. She hums- a hymn he was quite familiar with- as she brushed a wet hand over his head.

"Mother loves you, you know that? She always has, and she always will." She spoke softly, staring into his blue eyes as she caresses his head. Moments passed before Eddie begins to feel drowsy again, a small yawn leaving his lips, making his mother chuckle softly.

"Let mama have a few more minutes, and she'll be in to tuck you into bed again, okay?"

He nods, turning around and making his way back to his small cold little room. On the way back, his eyes glance over to their room. It was quiet; no obnoxious snoring, loud laughing, or the sounds of breaking bottles being shattered. They must be out 'doing man things' as his mother once put it.

He makes his way to his room, not wanting to be caught wandering about the house after curfew hours, again. Quiet as a mouse, he slips back under his blankets and waits for his mother to arrive...

He awakes sometime later, music off and his mother no longer singing. He realizes, regrettably so, that he's fallen asleep. The house was eerily quiet, making him feel uneasy. Seconds later, he hears footsteps and his door creaks open, his mother.

She hums quietly, carrying a steaming mug of warm milk in her left hand as she quietly closes the door behind her. Unsteadily, she makes her way over to the bed and smiles peacefully at Eddie, he could smell the alcohol wafting off of her. Long dark hair damp from her bath, eyes red rimmed and puffy, she was wearing a white night gown that stopped at her ankles, and her hands shook slightly as she passes the mug to Eddie.

This time, the milk wasn't laced with anything. He could sleep normally tonight. He cautiously sips the warm milk, not wanting to burn himself as a childish grin makes its way onto his face. The mother and son duo sat quietly in peaceful silence, the moon shining through Eddie's window giving the room a soft white glow.

"Mommy's sorry Eddie." His mother whispers, he doesn't say anything, just continue to quietly sip from the mug until it was empty. Once he was finished, he holds the mug out for her to take and she smiles genially, taking the mug, and leaves his room as quietly as she came...

Nine. Years. Old.

Eddie Redacted Gluskin, was only nine years old when another monster came and took his mother away. Or maybe it was his fault, or maybe.... He didn't know anymore. He only remembers bits and pieces now. He wanted to forget, he wanted to forget it all. The blood, the monsters, the pictures,-leave it to beaver leave it to beaver leave it to beaver- the screaming, the crying, the body....

Oh, the body? Don't you mean Your Mother's Dead Body....Eddie Gluskin? His nineth birthday was excruciating, the monsters wearing the skins of his uncle and Father, gave him.... Gifts. Pictures of their.... loving memories together. And for his ninth birthday, they wanted to create new photographic memories. His mother gnashed her teeth together, drinking more than she usually do, the day passed in a blur; sounds were muffled like she was under water.

She passed out on the sofa, arm thrown over her eyes to block out the setting sun, her head felt like it was stuffed with cotton and her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth. She felt a hand touch hers, the bottle slips through her fingers and spills onto the rug. She slaps the hand away roughly, "Dirty filthy bastard *hic*, get away from me."

Silence. Followed by a sniffle, before footsteps hurried away. She didn't hear a thing considering she fell asleep again. Nighttime rolls around, it was around 10p.m. when Mrs. Gluskin wakes up again, somehow she managed to make it to her bedroom in her drunken state and proceeded to strip to take a bath.

She continued to curse her bastard of a husband and that god-awful brother of his. A child, let alone her own son. She sneers, picking up one of many empty wine bottles from atop her dresser and throws it in her drunken rage. She loudly curses them both.

"Damn you, you make me sick! I can't bear to look at you any longer." And the fact he gave her a son, that resembled his father by his looks? Even more horrifying. After everything he's done, he then turns around and tries to bed her right after?!

She couldn't bear the sight of that man, neither showed any signs of remorse when she found the pictures. She vomited over and over, that day. Feeling disgusted and hated herself for not noticing sooner. But she hated her husband more, and her brother-in-law he tried to seduce her behind his own brother's back, and she rejected every attempt.

When he stopped flirting and watching her, she should have known he was doing the same thing as her husband. The verbal and physical abuse continued throughout the years, Eddie's nightmares happened more frequently, the sleeping pills lost their effectiveness. So she used different pills and syrups to help him sleep throughout the night.

She didn't want her son to hear that man call her out her name; 'Whore', 'Slut', and oh gods the beating. Alcohol truly helped with the pain. Little did she know, Eddie heard and saw the whole thing. When his father would beat his mother, she would cry and give in to his demands, doing whatever he told her too.

When the beating was too much, he treated his wife with respect, in hopes -yet knowing- she wouldn't go to the police to report him for his crimes. In the small town they lived in, the other housewives were jealous of the Gluskin's married life. Outside the house, they were showcased as the little perfect family. A loving couple who loved their one and only son, with the charming and funny shockingly single uncle to boot.

Inside the house, hell reigned behind those four walls. Gloves were off, one-sided punches were thrown, mouths were unfiltered, and the son was trapped in the middle of it all. Mrs. Gluskin picks up another bottle, hearing the liquid slosh around inside it, she helps herself to it.

Forget. Forget.

That's right, that's all she wanted to do right now, forget everything for a moment and deal with it at a later time. She loved her son, truly she would die for him before she let anything happen to him. Yet....She feels like she failed- no- she knows she failed him when he needed her most.

That was the reason she started drinking, she couldn't face the guilt while being sober, it gutted her ruthlessly. A sob breaks the quiet, her lips trembled, before she could break down completely, she takes a large gulp from the bottle. Hard Liquor. It was typically a man's drink, but at this moment, she didn't care.

She stumbles to the bathroom, turning on the water and sits on the side of the tub to wait for it to fill up. Once it did, she turned the water off, polishing off the bottle before placing it on the floor near her feet. She lowers herself into the tub, slipping down until her chin touched the water. But then, she spots something out the corner of her eye, she quickly turns her head to see, scoffing when realization hits.

Eddie was standing there, peering into the bathroom. His blue eyes pierced the dim lighting of her room. His hair more unkempt than she remembered. Another nightmare, just her luck. She sighs, lifting a hand out of the water to pinch the bridge of her nose.

"Go back to bed, I'll be in there in a bit. Okay?"

Expecting her son to walk away, Mrs. Gluskin slips further down into the bath and closes her eyes....It's been estimated that Mrs. Redacted Gluskin, died sometime around 11pm due to blunt force trauma. No one knew how or why, but considering the husband and his brother were both missing and the front door was found wide open the next morning by the neighbors, what else were they to think?

Either the husband or brother had something to do with the murder, or they both worked together. The small town was shaken to the core when they saw a body being brought out on a stretcher. Eddie was found by a neighbor standing nearby his mother's dead body, the sight wasn't gruesome, but somber.

The neighbor's report goes like this;

'I was leaving for work around 7am like usual, when I made my way to my car, I noticed across the street, their door was wide open. It was unusual; Redacted nor the missus were the type to just leave their front door open. I felt like something was off, considering their car was gone, and the lights in the house were off; well from what I could tell...

I made my way across the street, taking my pocket knife with me and called out to them from inside the house. No answer. The fear something was wrong grew more and more with each passing minute. Not knowing what I was going into, I went to get a buddy of mine and we ran back to the house with his shotgun in hand.

We checked through the entire house, nothing, at least....Until we found the master bedroom. The door was pulled close, but we could hear running water, I called out; asking if anyone was in there, to answer me.

Still nothing, I pushed open the door, the carpet was damp; my work shoes squelched with each step as I made my way over, I could hear the water more clearly, I pushed the door open and there way the son; his back towards me and he was looking at something in the tub.....Judging by the legs hanging out the tub; I knew then it was Redacted.

The kid, their son, he asked me was his momma dead. I didn't know I was standing beside him until he asked me that. She was laying there, motionless; eyes wide open yet staring at nothing. I turned the water off, I felt sick to my stomach, my buddy was on the phone with police. He looked like how I felt, I took the kid with me and we all exited the house.

It wasn't long after that when the police and paramedics showed up...'

Mrs. Gluskin was pronounced dead at the scene, the son was placed with a family within the town and a search was put out for the husband and brother, it wouldn't be until nine years later that the both of them were found along with.....disturbing photographs.

During the trial, Eddie Gluskin, who was eighteen years old, had a breakdown on the stand, just like nine years prior when asked about his father and uncle. Unfortunately, he escaped police capture when they tried to calm him down and was later pronounced missing.

The father and uncle both were sent to prison for murder, information redacted, you are not authorized to view any further. Days later after being arrested, they were found dead in their prison cells. The other inmates, nor the officers present at the time, knew anything. Those that live in the small town, at the time, had all moved away.

The horrifying secrets of the small town remains only in the memories of those that lived there and would remain with them even after death. Unfortunately, Eddie Gluskin was never found, and even then, nobody searched for it. Feeling that the young man suffered enough already.

All they ever hoped for, was that he was safe, alive, and living well....

WE INTERRUPT THIS PROGRAM TO BRING YOU AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE! Earlier today, another woman was found brutally murdered in her apartment, police have yet to release more information but advises people to stay and remain indoors at night. Please check that your doors and windows are locked, and if you see anything suspicious, please contact the number listed below...

"Oh my, how unfortunate."

#eddie gluskin #outlast #outlast eddie #whistle blower #the groom

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sunnymusingsao3 · 1 year

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Hello comic fandom fanfic writers! PSA Time (SA/rape mention warning):

Stop using the "hero breaks up a shady alleyway almost-rape" trope as a device for plot or characterization, when the plot does not center around the victim, or when the character focused on is the hero, and once again not the victim.

The threat of sexual violence is not and should never be a throwaway plot device to give your hero something to do that shows off their abilities or heart.

In addition to that: it perpetuates the myth that most rapes are performed by a stranger in a shady back alley (note: the fact that it always happens in a "sketchy part of town" is classist, and the hero asking the victim why they were walking alone in that neighborhood is victim blaming, regardless of the tone of the question).

Look. I get it. Sexual violence is a real plague on our society, and it's extremely common. It makes sense that someone like Batman, for example, might come across it in his line of work. In fact, in canon, he has, though I admit I don't know exact issue numbers off the top of my head. I can also point to a more substantial instance, in that Green Arrow has most definitely encountered a survivor of CSA in his line of work, given his connection to Mia Dearden (a fantastic character, btw). We know this comes up.

I am not asking you to erase the topic altogether. In fact, I'd prefer we didn't ignore sexual violence on the whole, since it is something that needs to be given awareness, in order to create understanding and help aid in prevention.

What I am saying is that, if you decide to breach the subject in your works, do your research and address it in full. Do not use it as a throwaway plot. Do not leave it untagged. Do not give your hero angst feelings about it ("what if I hadn't been fast enough...") that overshadow the victim's feelings, and most importantly: do not leave the victim's voice out of it. In fact, the victim's voice should be the primary voice that we hear in reference to the event, to how they would like to seek justice and healing, and how the experience has made them feel. This is not to say that you can't write about it from the perspective of the hero who stopped it, but if you do that, then make sure that the hero gives up story space to the victim to listen to them speak.

Sexual assault should be discussed in stories. It is good to raise awareness and I, like many survivors, like having the option to read and write about this topic as a form of catharsis, release, or comfort. Telling these stories can be good, when done in such a way that lifts the voices of the survivors and centers them as the focal point or authority on the experiences that they faced.

When survivors are not centered in the story, we immediately face further harm and silencing. It hurts the entire community when rape, almost-rape, or any other type of sexual violence and assault, is treated like it's just a device to further someone else's narrative.

Stop discarding your almost-rape victims in the alleyway that they were attacked in.

#it's saam and i'm thinking about these things a lot so here's an essay #there's probably more coming too #i'll tag them accordingly #saam #sa #sa mention #tw: sa #tw: sa mention #// sa #// sa mention #not sure how many other tag styles there are for this so lemme know if you need this tagged in another style #rape mention #tw: rape mention #csa mention #tw: csa mention #batfamily

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thegirltherevolutionarywarfeared · 2 years

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Thoughts On The Depp vs Heard Case From A Survivor

So, to give a little backstory and apologies in advance for the essay, I am a survivor of SA and abuse. Now, I was never in a relationship and abused; my story is much different. I will briefly mention p*dophila, so if that might trigger you, I’d stop reading after this paragraph.

I was sexually abused from the ages of about 7-10. I was abused by a family member who was also emotionally and verbally abusive and one who had many issues with alcoholism. He never hit me, though he was physically abusive to my brother. I grew up afraid of my own shadow, and I have a large chunk of my life and childhood erased. I was diagnosed with PTSD sometime last year when memories of the events reappeared in full force. I have zero proof, and I am far past the statute of limitations. I can’t give them any actual details, and I can’t talk or think about it for very long without dissociating or relieving that awful time. There is no way to receive justice, and I’ve come to peace with that. It’s shitty, but that’s life. I think a big part of me would be too afraid to anyway. I’ve never been able to have a relationship, and I have trust issues and walls so thick a wrecking ball couldn’t even tap them.

To address Elaine’s frankly despicable interview, many survivors support Johnny. I can’t explain it to anyone, but we recognise our own. There’s something in the way we talk about the event(s); it’s harrowing. It sits on your shoulders and recounting it feels like choking. So many of us cut ourselves off from the event(s) and try desperately to distract others by making jokes to draw attention away from the conversation. You could see that with Johnny, not with Amber. The way Amber behaved caused the jury to rule against her; she showed her true self on that stand. She was aggressive, recalled “everything” with crystal clear clarity, and got caught in lies multiple times. A biased judge also oversaw the UK case that she kept referring towards; (quick correction here because I was given the wrong information) his son was an editor for The Sun, so he wouldn’t rule against them, let’s be honest. The judge should’ve recused himself, but chose not to. The same man who owns The Sun also has claims in The New York Post and Vogue, two companies vocally against Johnny. Wonder why…

I strongly dislike how Amber Heard painted herself as a martyr; she does not represent us. We have overcome so much, and to have a liar spit in our face by appropriating our daily struggles is so beyond wrong. To claim the verdict is the jury saying, “Oh, we don’t believe you if you don’t have evidence”, is highly inappropriate for a lawyer, especially one “chasing her fifteen minutes of fame”, as she likes to say. Also, accusing the jury, that was holed up in a hotel room with no phone or internet access, of bias is bloody ridiculous.

She continues with this whole, “Oh, it’s a step back for women”, but it’s not. It’s a step forward for male victims, men are finally feeling comfortable enough to speak out, and that’s beautiful. We know women have been used and abused since the beginning of time, but we never talk about men. Men aren’t just abused by their Boy Scout leaders, priest, or boyfriends. They are also abused by women, a fact they are told to be silent about. I remember explaining to my fifteen-year-old employee that his first sexual experience being with his friend’s mother was not ok. He couldn’t get my point, even when I showed him how the role reversal would seem. It had been trained into him by toxic culture and media that women could not be predatory, women couldn’t be abusive. Any sane person will know that’s false.

I’ve connected with many male survivors during this case, a topic I’ve been passionate about since my youth. My abuser was abused; it’s an unfortunate cycle. Men are not given coping tools, just told to “be a man about it”, especially by women who believe men can’t be abused. Yes, I was as shocked as you might be that there are women mad enough to think that only one gender can be abused. They defend Amber purely in the name of “feminism”, which is entirely fake. I can only hope this case lets men know they aren’t alone; they can be heard. Women can’t be allowed to get away with abuse purely based on gender. We also need to stop believing every word that comes out of people’s mouths without any questions. People can’t just accuse others of heinous crimes, especially public figures if they can’t be honest about what happened.

If you’ve made it to the end here, I commend you; I’m very well known for my speeches- blame debate class 😅. All in all, survivors are pissed significantly because so many believed Amber. Those who didn’t were told that they were just in love with Johnny, which is just plainly untrue. Every Amber stan reflects their idol; aggressive behaviour, insults, demeaning survivors, and calling us liars. It’s tiring, it’s upsetting, and we can’t escape from it. I mean, it’s everywhere; there isn’t anywhere this topic hasn’t touched. I’m constantly hit by flashbacks from trauma that keep getting dredged up, and being open about it gets more complicated when civil conversations turn into personal attacks. Elaine and her team were incredibly unprepared and were extremely unprofessional. Johnny scored a rockstar roster and deserved every inch of his win. The message that needs to get across is that no matter what gender, race, or sexuality you are, you aren’t alone. There are millions of us worldwide that are proud of you. Proud of you for pushing through, being brave enough to tell your story, and for being strong enough to fight for the truth. We are not alone, we are a strong community, and we need to support those who go unheard. Victims come in all shapes and sizes, with different coping mechanisms and different personalities. Of course, there's no “perfect victim”, but Amber Heard has proved herself to be nothing but a narcissistic abuser who thought Johnny would never speak up. He has, and we have heard him. None of us should live unheard; no human being should be shunned for speaking their truth.

#tw: abuse #tw: molestation #johnny depp #justice for johnny depp #personal rant #amber heard #amber heard is an abuser #amber heard is a liar #me too #men too #support survivors #respect male survivors

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doberbutts · 3 years

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I know youve been told this like a million times but I wanted to tell you too: thanks for being a genuine advocate for trans men and standing up for the community. Im a trans man/genderqueer and ive been on Tumblr for a while but recently the blatant hatred and harassment towards trans men for doing nothing more than talking about the oppression we face and inventing words to describe that oppression is insane. Esp with Big Funny Meme blogs picking up those posts just to make fun of trans men and nothing else. Esp big funny meme blogs that are owned by LBGT people... Its really nice to have an oasis of safety in your blog, and learn a lot about dog care and training too!! Thanks so much Jaz 💖

I'm glad you've found refuge here! I have mostly stayed out of the trans community online for much of my life because it's always been filled with stupid petty drama, I think the problem is that right now there are particularly loud individuals who believe themselves untouchable because they have A Sacred Identity and thus any problematic behavior they exhibit cannot be called out because their Identity Is Good Actually.

Completely unrelated (or is it) to the whole thing going down on tumblr, I started being loud about this after two events last summer. The first when a very bad take regarding male SA survivors was reblogged uncritically by a mutual, and the second when I watched a trans masc friend in a LGBT-specific dog group on FB make his own post saying that the "jokes" about all men being bad and being attracted to men is a curse etc contributed to why he stayed in the closet for so long and could we please think of how this may hurt marginalized men when posting in a group that is, statistically, half marginalized men... and he was effectively called an incel and an MRA and told that he personally was responsible for male violence against women. Because he voiced, in a mixed group, that he was not comfortable with all of the jokes at his demographic's expense.

And the admins, two of who are also trans masc, just let it happen. They refused to police the thread and only closed it when two particular cis women started making violent threats against him for stating that their "kill all men including trans men, all men are rapists including trans men, all men are evil including trans men" was hurtful to see in a community that claimed to support everyone. Those two were allowed to stay in the group. He was told to "let it go" or leave. He chose to leave.

I cannot understand why so many within the LGBT community think that trans men and trans mascs aren't on the receiving end of transphobia, misogyny, and more. I don't understand why our words are so heavily policed. People have told me directly to my face that trans men do not experience misogyny because misogyny is "just for women". But then in the same breath they say "misandry isn't real" so trans men can't use that either to describe what happens to them. I've seen people go as far to say that because trans men are frequently erased and abandoned and left isolated until they kill themselves, because trans men go stealth or blend with GNC cis women (or in-betweener gender identities that are neither trans nor cis but no one likes talking about those), because trans men have an "easier" medical transition path (regardless of whether that's true or not), that trans men actually have it easy and that they don't really have any issues and thus do they even experience transphobia at all???

I've seen some real big brain shit takes about how trans men use the F markers on their paperwork to gain privilege, or how trans men "just have to bind and they're done", how trans men are born into privilege, and more. I don't know what world these people are living in. My world is not that clearcut or that easy. I've been transitioning socially for 16 years, fully out for about 8, and have not had a single dose of T but that didn't stop someone of saying I couldn't possibly know what she was going through transitioning "late" (in her mid-20s) because I transitioned as a teen. I'm 29 and have yet to start my medical transition journey. She blocked me when I corrected her.

In any case. I've been around for a long time. This is all cyclical old hat stuff that I saw back in the early/mid 2000s when I was figuring myself out. My best advice to you is to go hang out with LGBT people in real life, a group that's actually a community, loving, supportive, and leave this online bullshit for those who have nothing better to do than to run their mouths about experiences they clearly have no idea what they're talking about.

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