the world is so fucked up and i can't help but think the damage is irreparable when i see people talking about how unusual and prudish it is to wait six to ten dates before having sex with someone. ten dates??? roughly like twenty five hours of interaction????? ten old timer burgers and mango iced teas from chilis equals sex?????? the possibility of pregnancy, STDs, emotional devastation, lifelong consequences, not to mention just straight up the possibility of getting murdered, with a STRANGER you have hung out with for maybe like two months???? and that's a LONG TIME???? and if you feel weird about that and don't want to do that that makes you NOT HETEROSEXUAL????? THATS AN ORIENTATION???? BECAUSE ITS SO OUTSIDE OF THE NORM OF HUMAN BEHAVIOR ????? i hate all of you i hate you i hate you i hate you every day i hate and I hate and I hate you
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Some Skyros silliness!
I like to think that after the ‘my husband’ scene in the book, Achilles was absolutely insufferable about it, calling Patroclus his husband whenever he could and really playing up the whole married woman thing while they were there lmao
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The LAYERS needed in a modern/human Dreamling au. Some level of Endless family dysfunction, obviously. Hob's family can be be dead or not, it's all good. Are they old enough to have individually gained the awareness they are off-puttingly intense and should hide it a bit at first, or still in that "no, why would I need to Elsa this" stage?
Option A is both of them trying to play it cool, like "don't scare him off" except they so badly want to go from zero to sixty.
(Death and Desire have ruthlessly drilled Dream with flashcards about how to react appropriately in situations.
Desire: it's your one-month anniversary, what do you do?
Dream: [hesitantly] NOT propose?
Desire and Death, conferring, because that's technically correct but the delivery was suspect.
Death, encouragingly: Good start. And?
Dream: a nice dinner and maybe a walk?
Desire: well done!
Death: and for a three-month anniversary?
Dream: give them a key to my flat.
Desire: [airhorn] NO. RED CARD.)
Option B makes them the classic anecdotal "my grandparents got engaged within seven days of meeting each other and still are happy together".
(Death, rubbing her temples: so you met this guy--
Dream: Hob
Death: -- Hob, and within 1 day you gave notice to the Registrar's Office and figured out the best day to get married. And Hob agreed to this?
Dream: NO.
Death: oh thank go-
Dream: Hob SUGGESTED this.
Death: . . .
Dream: are you going to be a witness or not?
Death, 29 days later in the Registrar's Office, to Hob's witness: Is he sane?
Johanna Constantine, drinking heavily from a large flask: unfortunately yes, by all legal definitions.
Death: fuck
Johanna: [passing the flask over] if your brother's even a tenth as intense as Hob, they'll be fine. Probably.
Death, brightening: Is Hob that bad?
Johanna: You know how sometimes you meet somebody and think "oof, they're a bit much, best give them a wide berth"?
Death: yeah.
Johanna: Hob's like a camouflaged hole in the ground of muchness. Except he's done the hole up all nice and he knows that sometimes you just want to be left alone in the hole to sulk and rattle the spikes for a bit, and occasionally get a F&M hamper tossed in.
Death: [hmmmmmmm'ing approvingly]
Johanna, morose: the bastard.
In the background, Hob and Dream are pressing their foreheads together and basking in each other's presence)
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if you harp on chrollo's mediocre cooking skills, he sighs, and starts reminding you that he grew up a malnourished orphan who had to dig through the trash for scraps of food. he will continue elaborating until you look sufficiently guilty for questioning his 'sautéed' onions
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I think Betty is Daniel’s best friend but Daniel is not Betty’s best friend, you know? And she tries to hide that from him because she knows he thinks he’s nevvvver anyone’s first choice in things that matter but of course he realizes Christina is her best friend (and probably Hilda too but that one doesn’t hurt as badly because hello sisters first) and Betty’s soooo relieved when they start dating because anytime he’s like “:( I’m not your best friend :(“ she can be like “no but you’re my boyfriend!!! a category JUST for you!!!” And then they’re both happy.
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Usopp briefly needing a high vantage point, so Sanji launches him into the air with "Armée de L'air: Darling Shoot!"
Usopp is not pleased with the name because it doesn't sound tough enough. (Also maybe this is something they've practiced a few times on the ship. It's uniquely suited to them because Usopp is long ranged and trusts Sanji to catch him after. Also, Sanji is very used to catching, launching, and kicking Usopp, so he knows what works and what doesn't)
(this doesn't work with the others consistently because either they don't want to/fighting style doesn't fit with it, they know Sanji won't bother catching them, and/or Sanji himself does not want to launch them if he doesn't absolutely have to [Zoro; he is fine with that])
(alternatively, this works just fine with the others, but Sanji wants it to be his and Usopp's 'thing' unless absolutely necessary)
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