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#he's innocent of all crimes
f1-birb · 1 year
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STEWARDS HAVE YOU SEEN LANDOS FACE???? THATS THE FACE OF A BABY WHO CAN DO NOTHING WRONG
he's literally JUST a baby 😭
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ancha-aus · 2 months
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RealAgeAU Drabble - Progress
I am here! And I made this drabble! @spotaus get in here! We got a new update :3
This one i had to take the time for haha Also I am fucking dying it is so hot and warm and everything is moist and i hate it and please end me i am not made for this heat. and as i am melting so his my sanity and mental health
anyway hahahah it is warm :') I dislike the heat.
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And no beta or edits. I write these in one go and hope for the best lmao.
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Dream watches as the bear walks through the stream. looking at the water and following movements Dream can't see.
The bear eventually gets to some mysterious perfect spot and stays put. it opens its mouth and waits.
For a moment. nothing happens.
Then the fish start to jump and rush and one ends right in the bear's mouth. The bear bites down and starts eating.
It is fascinating.
Nature in motion.
Dream continues to lay right there on top of the branches as he watches the bear continue hunting and eating. at ease with what it does and who it is.
His phone ringing ruins the silence and Dream curses as he grabs his phone quickly checking who is calling now. He sighs at the sight of the caller ID and answers it "Hey Core."
The child, is core still a child?, sounds frantic "Dream? Where have you been!?"
Drema hums as he leans against the tree, watching the wildlife again. Good to see the bear has dismissed the noise he made and it went about its day again "out and about. learning stuff."
core sighs "Dream... the people here need you and-"
Dream hums "No they don't. They can do their chores and tasks themselves. I told you and all of them this before." he is not going to fall into the same trap as always. cutting himself apart to please others. He needs to figure himself out first.
Core sighs loudly again "Dream... If you like it our not. You are still the guardian of positivity to them! They are nervous and you can relax them."
Dream sighs annoyed himself "No Core. I can't. Or at least, i don't want that role anymore. Correction. I never should ahve had that role. I already told you that what i did before was a mistake." he had explained this so many times already. Explained that he shouldn't have tried to stop what Nightamre had been doing.
Yet no one understood!
They kept demanding him to keep doing what he had been doing before.
It is exhausting.
Dream sighs loudly and cuts off whatever Core is saying "I am not coming back to the omega timeline. Let it rest Core and move on. That is what i am doing." and he hangs up the phone. He leans against the tree and calls the number he knows by soul.
one ring later and "Dream! How is your break going? Seen any cool things?" Blue sounds excited.
Dream smiles as he leans against the tree already feeling relaxed. Just hearing his friend and hearing him respect what dream wanted makes everything right. The need to complain disappears and he focuses on the good "Yeah it is pretty cool. I am in a large forest. Saw a bear catch a fish with its mouth." the bear moves towards the side to eat some of the fish it caught.
Blue groans "lucky!! I am stuck in another reset. Kid got stuck somewhere in hotland and my bro and I are trying to figure out a way to hel them progress quicker."
Dream chuckles "You and your brother gave up on acting as if you don't notice the save, loads and resets?"
Blue hums "Well... yeah! I know it is a large risk and a big show of trust... but my brother explained to me that knowing I was there for him? With him in the resets and that i truly understood how it felt? He said it gave him peace and hope. that he felt less alone. And that got me thinking... Maybe... maybe Chara would feel better if they knew they weren't alone? That they didn't need to figure it all out alone? Papy had been unsure but he ended up deciding to trust my opinion and decision..."
Dream hums and nods "how did that go?"
Blue is silent for a moment before answering "Well... we dropped hints first and tried to ease them into the idea... then they ended up having a panic attack and apologising over and over again. We just sat down with them and we spoke it all out. they ended up sleeping over at our place for a while and would ask us everything about how we experienced it. So... I think it helped... thanks by the way."
Dream blinks and laughs "Why thank me?"
Dream can hear the smile in Blue's voice "Because you gave me the idea of it all! You were the one to trust me and share your worries with me. and once you shared those pains you felt better. You explained how the powers and responsiblity got too much and painful... That is when i realised. If you, an actual adult and god already felt like that... how would a child feel with so much power and responsibility but no guidance?" Blue is silent for a moment before he speaks "I know we aren't... we arent suposed to mess with the past or what happened or the anomaly but... How can there be any change if we don't try? Be it for the better or worse? At least we won't be stuck in the same loop anymore."
a moment of silence and Drema speaks quietly "What if they end up deciding to use this for bad stuff? To betray that trust and beleive?" what if blue gets hurt?
Blue hums "That is their choice. My choice was to be willing to trust and help. To beleive in the better and do waht i needed to do to take a step in the right direction."
Dream stares down before chuckling "You are truly one of the few between all of us who is sane and has healthy mental health."
Blue laughs "I have struggles too Dream. everyone has! we all do waht we can to cope. talking about struggles... did something happen?"
Blue is too damn smart and knows him too damn well.
Dream sighs "Smething did but... I honestly don't want to talk about it." he chuckles and rubs his new outfit. a more neutral grey with just a few yellow accents "You already need to listen so much to my problems. I want to be there for you too!"
Blue hums unhappily "dream."
Dream sighs and folds immediantly "just... Core calling again."
an even unhappier hum "We need to get you a new cross-multiverse phone. with a new number that Core doesn't know."
Drema can't help but laugh "maybe we can go shopping later? When your loop calms down a bit?"
Blue cheers "Yes! That sounds great! Oh! Did you want to come over for dinner? Chara is going to be friends with alphys and stuff which leaves me free early!"
Dream smiles "gladly. be there in a bit!" blue replies with his own goodbye and Dream hangs up. feeling much lighter and better than before. he opens a portal and makes the multiverse jump.
--
dinner is amazing and Dream takes some time to catch up wiht both Stretch and Blue. enjoying hearing more about the updates about their universe and how tlaking with Chara has helped them all a lot!
Dream is just happy with Blue is getting closer to the happy ending he deserves. To finally be free and explore the surface world he longs for so badly. Dream is also happy that Stretch seems to be doing better mentally. Dream may not be close with Stretch like with Blue but he still likes the other skeleton! Stretch is nice and can be a true sweetheart. Stretch just has to battle depression and hopelessness at the same time.
Blue once asked Dream if he could heal that for Stretch. a desperate plea from a worried brother. Drema had tried but he couldn't. He had once again remembered that it have been the purple apples that could heal mental illnesses. and he did not have a connection to those. Dream never told Blue that and just told him that Dream could only heal the physical body. That mental health was something that needed other and special care and support of loved ones.
Etiher way. it is great to see both feeling better and happier!
They relax and enjoy their time when Dream's phone rings again.
Stretch shoots it a curious look "I thought you muted that?"
Dream groans and nods "i did." he always does. one check later and a frown "Core again."
Blue sighs and steals his phone. he answers it and speaks right away "One. It is rude to call people at dinner time. two. Learn to take no. three. Stop, you are starting to appear obsessed. solve your own problems. It isn't Dreams issue." and hangs up again before handing it back.
Dream stares dumbfounded but Stretch just chuckles "Careful Blue. YOur protective side is showing."
Blue huffs but doesn't appear embarresed at all "Well! They should learn to take no and solve their own problems instead of trying to make it Dream's issue!"
Dream rubs his cheek "I am not much better... I keep asking you for your help..."
Blue looks at him and shakes his skull "Dream that is different. You ask for help. You accept if I am busy. Core demands help and doesn't accept a no." Blue smiles "See the difference?"
Dream feels himself relax again as he happily takes another bite. He enver needed food but it is nice.
a whistle "impressive."
Drema turns quickly and stares "Reaper."
Reaper grins and waves "Hey Dream. Blue and..." he needs a moment "Stretch right?"
Stretch looks a tBlue.
Blue shrugs at his brother "aparently I, or we for that matter, don't know how to not mess with things and cause alternative worlds. it is a long story. also. Don't touch reaper. everything reaper touches dies."
Reaper nods "it is why i float. Anyway. I had a moment and figured i should check in on the whole god thing and had to tell you guys soemthing but well... dinner." he waves at the table and grins "I didn't mean to be rude but..."
Stretch shrugs as he continues eating "I don't mind. talk god stuff. I am gonna keep eating."
Blue smiles at Reaper "I agree! You can just tell us now.. want a plate?" he waves at the dinner served.
Reaper chuckles and waves it off "I don't need food."
Blue huffs "neither does Dream but it is still a nice experience!"
Dream nods as he eats another bite "very nice. also. Blue and Stretch with all the timeloops are good cooks." Blue is already getting a plate and fork ready for the other skeleton.
Reaper blinks but takes the plate thankfully and carefully. he joins in and hums happily "It is great." and continues eating.
It is nice. a little strange but nice. Dream hasn't felt this relaxed and happy in a long time.
Reaper eats antoher bite before starting to speak "Anyway. I came with a mission." he eats antoher bite.
Dream nods and knows where this is going "Is this about... my job?"
Reaper nods as he eats antoher bite "Pretty much. Got any idea on what you want to focus on as domain yet?"
Dream sighs and shakes his skull "I... I hadn't... I had... wanted to wait with picking... until i foudn Nightmare and could talk things out first." he had wanted to pick soemthing together with his twin. make sure they still matched...
Reaper blinks but grins "you dont need to worry! you two are twins after all. if one of you picks a domain the other will automatically lean towards something that matches." he shrugs "god and twin magic stuff."
Dream blinks and feels a bit better. Their magic will always match?! That is great! That is fantastic and-
No.
Dream shakes his skull "Then I really don't want to decide without him!"
Reaper looks confused "But you will match anyway?"
Dream feels himself shake "Like with positivity and negativity?! No! I am not going to pick anything that can cause that kind of mess and split again!" He isn't going to do that to nightmare again!
Wait...
What if he can pick something that is the negative of the match? That would mean Ngihtmare immediantly gets the positive side right? But it hardly ever has only one opposite! Happiness can be the opposite of both sadness and angry to just give an example!
Or people often say love and hate are opposites but then people say it is love and indifference!
There are too many options and he isn't going to do it!
Reaper frowns "Dream. You can't keep going around without somekind of purpose. You are already heavily leaning on Blue as it is."
Dream looks away embarresed while Blue just frowns "Wait how do you know that?"
Reaper raises a brow "Because you are starting to get a boon."
Blue blinks while Stretch frowns "A boon?"
Reaper nods "Yeah. Gods can give boons to mortals who helped them. The more help and support given generally the stronger the boon. Normally these are given on purpose but well... with Dream's magic slightly all over the place." he just waves in their direction.
Blue frowns "what happens if i get one of these?"
Reaper hums "it depends on the god, the boon and the person. YOu could just be kinda like a workshipper if you get a tiny one. High priest kinda deal is also possible. But... with how involved you are with helping Dream? Probably an acolyte. Very strong powers... and pretty much automatically an outcode if not you just surpass that straight to something between mortal and demigod. Acolytes are powerful blue."
Dream shoots blue an anxious look before staring at Reaper "How do i stop that?!"
Reaper shrugs "Now you know about it? And you know you could do it? It is less liekly you will accidentally do it. especially if you don't want to. Boons are suposed to be a thank you kinda deal after all."
Stretch shares a nervous look with Blue but blue pats his hand "I am okay bro." Blue looks at Dream anxious "Dream... You know I love helping you. Really! But... i don't want to be an acolyte or any boon okay? I am just happy to be able to be friends."
Dream grbas his shoulders and stares at him "Blue. I promise and swear! I will never actively give you one unless you ask me okay? And I will try my hardest and best to never accidentally give you one okay?"
He wills himself, his soul, and magic to get the message. Blue doesn't want a boon. Blue doens't want a title. Dream doesn't want to give Blue either of these. Dream does not want to force either a boon or title on blue.
Reaper puts his plate away and floats at a distance "Sorry for the whole... bad news situation. I just figured... fi you are going to keep dodging picking a domain you need to understand this possibility..." he waits a moment before his phone gives a ding. he frowns at it "Work demands me again. Give it some thought. think about your domain and keep an eye on yourself." and Reaper disappears as if he was never there.
Blue frowns at where Reaper left and gives him a reassuraning smile "Hey. If you don't want to give me one you won't give me one. I trust you to not do it on purpose. And we will just make sure I stay in my own universe more! Not tempt fate!"
Dream frowns as he rubs his arm "Maybe i just need to pick a domain... but i don't want to accidentally force nightmare into a role he doesn't want..." it wouldn't be fair.
Blue frowns but Stretch speaks up "makes sense. fuck knows i would never have willingly picked Blue to also rememebr the resets."
Blue shoots him a look but Dream looks a thim confused "But i thoguth it was helping you?"
Stretch nods "It is. it is nice to have his support and everything" he smiles a tblue sadly befor elooking down "But it is a lot. the resets are a lot. i didn't... i didn't want to force him to deal with that." he shoots blue a look "I didn't want to force you to experience the same thing that i saw as hell. I didn't want to do that to you."
Blue frowns and goes to his brother to give him a hug. Dream relaxes and smiles a bit. because Stretch understands. Stretch understands why Dream can't make this choice just yet. Blue understands as well and... and trusts him.
Dream nods to himself and focuses. He doesn't want to give blue a title or boon. He wants blue to just remain his best friend. he wants blue to get the choice. He wants blue to get his chance to pick his future. He wants Nightmare to get his chance to pick his future.
To make their own paths.
To progress and grow in the way they want.
Dream smiles at the two brothers "Thank you two. for being my friends. real friends." he doesn't have many. which makes the two all the more special. and if they want to remain exactly as they are then Dream wants them to stay the way they are. because that truly gives them the chance to be and become who they want to be. instead of being what Dream wants.
Dream just hopes this will work. Because he also wants a chance to figure out who he truly is. And who he wants to be and what he wants. a chance to change and be. a chance to try and grow as a person.
Maybe that is all he ever really wanted.
*------------------*
Meanwhile Nightmare already figured his own domain out and is working on it. Also. No one tell Dream he already picked one. it just isn't as obvious. after all... Blue did mention that Dream helped him find a way to progress and move forwards :3
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dynamitekansai · 3 months
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WWEonFOX: Roman Reigns laughed at the idea of Solo Sikoa becoming Tribal Chief 👀
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moeblob · 6 days
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son boy raccoon trash can man suffering in a dnd au as a cleric bc his warlock will not stop committing murders and he has to keep coming up with reasons murder is valid to convince the gm its fine and under control
#my characters#oops i fell in love#right is trying his best in the au to think about all the logic behind killing someone despite being a cleric SPECIFICALLY#bc he refuses to hurt anyone irl or in dnd and ok fine their warlock can have a little murder as a treat#and the body count is adding up and hes like ... so tired..... please can you not kill for five minutes im running out of excuses#fwiw he has the weird logic of the group in the base plot and the guy who is the gm here#is v open about ok but if we ask right then hell give an unhinged answer completely thought out and rationalized#and in fact asks him hey i know you refuse to hurt people but im having a debate with these two coworkers#if you had to commit a crime for aaaaaanyone on the planet who would you commit a crime for#and he doesnt even hesitate to say luca obviously to which the asker is like WHAT ABOUT MY DAUGHTER#YOU WANNA MARRY HER AND WONT COMMIT A CRIME FOR HER? but LUCA? of all people???? not even brent?#and right is just so confused because first off brent would probably be the one committing a crime for him without being forced#(brent agrees with this statement with a shrug) and second off luca has really weird coworkers and thought he was getting stalked for a bit#due to a misunderstanding with said one weird coworker so yeah obviously right would threaten the guy with a gun which is illegal and#third and final how could he face his beloved angel (the daughter mentioned above) if he was a criminal#he cant tarnish a sweet little innocent girls opinion by committing a crime IN HER NAME gosh fuck off with that attitude#he has STANDARDS thank you very much#and the three at the table are all like okay yeah that was really thought out on the fly youre right#also brent do not commit any crimes for him please and brent just nods in agreement bc ok he wont commit a crime unprompted#also hi animal crossing emotes are so fun to doodle for bye#once again i am baffled by how different the colors look on my laptop in the art program vs posting to tumblr#im going to go insane at how different they look#IM COLOR PICKING FOR MY OWN OCS AND ITS SO WRONG LOOKING IDK MAN
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Bellamy Blake was born to kiss his wife and bring baked goods to PTA meetings and like … maybe be treasurer of a small local government branch and have a dog and a garden shed and instead they made him almost but not quite kill someone and then babysit 99 horny teenagers in the post apocalypse wilderness as penance and that’s where it all went wrong your honour
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dailyayao · 26 days
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This system does not require faith — only accordance.
Alt text: Screenshots from Revolutionary Girl Utena with overlaid text. 1: Dios on a white horse, standing up high on a broken bridge. Text: An innocence is infallible.
2: Dios and young Utena looking at young Anthy, suspended in the air on the swords of hate. Text: The decisions made by one are not decisions.
3: Anthy's silhouette against a pink background, pierced by many blades, hair flying. Text: They are inevitabilities —
4: Touga looking out the tower window at the stars. His shirt is open and he holds a potted cactus. Text: what would have happened anyway,
5: An apple with a slice cut out, pierced by many forks. Text: only accelerated.
6: B-ko the shadow girl in Prince costume, taking a heroic stance. Text: An Innocence is a continuous, compressed event, a sacred human being.
7: Akio, dressed as End of the World, holds Utena, dressed as a rose bride. Text: It is an honor and a glory to live when one is in office.
8: Closeup on young Utena and Dios's feet, standing at the edge of a sheer drop. Text: YOU — Is one in office now?
9: A dark, empty stage with a rose design on the lowered curtain. Text: No.
10: Young Utena standing alone under a spotlight. She is staring at the spot where young Anthy disappeared. There are cracks in the wall resembling the shape of the swords coming out of Anthy's body. Text: We are alone.
#revolutionary girl utena#disco elysium#shoujo kakumei utena#dios#akio#utena#anthy#touga#kanae#csa tw#for clarity in case this doesn’t read the way im intending for it to read#the comparison between akio and the innocentic system is the idea of like. why they’re called innocences to begin with#the idea that they are ‘’innocent’’ in that everything they do is 1) inevitable 2) a reflection of the will of the world and everyone in it#akio and the prince archetype both have echoes of that idea#the prince as someone who is infallible and sacred and a necessary part of the world#and akio as someone who uses that rhetoric of infallibility and of only being a reflection of the way the world works#to write off his heinous crimes a la the innocenses and their war crimes#and ‘’we are alone’’ is utena recognizing the death of the prince. she is alone. she has to do this herself#in sacred and terrible air miro says something like ‘’be at peace. i am innocent and so you all are as well’’#in the same breath as he launches a nuke#i feel part of utena’s arc is about rejecting the idea that something is acceptable just bc everyone else around her seems to accept it#bc the truth is more that her peers have resigned themselves to their fates… it’s not truly what they want. they just cant imagine smth else#and so rather than say ‘’i am innocent and so we all are innocent’’#she learns to say ‘’i am guilty of many things but i can change. and so can you. and so can the world’’
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good-beans · 1 year
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I know most of our focus goes (rightfully) to the trial songs, but I genuinely believe Baptism of Fire is equally a masterpiece of meaningful writing and intense vocal acting
Incoming tag rant because I need to yell about this, feel free to yell back
#milgram#fuuta kajiyama#like the other vds have good writing about the character and whatever social issue their crime focuses on#but this one is very pointedly about YOU#its about the audience. its about the milgram project. its about self reflection. its about self-appointed roles. its about you#even if you didnt vote t1 or anything the whole things is calling on you to reflect on your own judgements of others#how you treat people who come off rougher. how you treat people who have made a (bad but) common mistake.#do you also find entertainment in seeing people dragged down and suffering because it would 'serve them right?'#but es always remains in control of the situation. the drama doesnt end with 'and fuuta was right - you guys suck!'#its clarified that situations are different and have nuance. we are reminded to look at things with nuance.#then we are smoothly re-immersed in the story#and then!! the acting itself!!!#arthur lounsbery put his whole fussy into that performance (<- fuuta pussy) and i am in his debt every day for it#in both his vds hes just super expressive and fun to listen to#i dont understand japanese but he packs so much interesting intonation and emotion into every word -- im obsessed listening to him#he nails all the subtle emotions fuuta has: the pouts and outrage as well as underlying fear grief insecurity and immaturity#and then baptism of fire hes just... Wailing#like mahiru has her innocent and pathetic cries of pain in her sweet voice that works for her character but fuutas pain feels much more raw#the way hes practically sobbing at the end -- his voice cracking and screeching throughout -- the whimper of pain#its so unbearably intense!! it hurts!! and its supposed to!! but hes just so raw with it#and dont even get me started on his pained hysteric laughter omg....#its just. a masterpiece.#i always appreciate the vds but i dont think ive enjoyed/relistened to one as much as this one#okay WAIT im back to add one more thing because im obsessed with ths idea of intentions#specifically in milgram i think the intention behind the murders are very important to consider#so i love love love the huge focus on 'i didnt expect/mean for this to happen'#plus as a general theme in fiction i think its sooo juicy when good intentions get fucked up#so i loved the repetition of that#fuuta is such a special case because he genuinely had no desire or expectation for his victim to die#(maybe kazui too? but he doesn't say so in his vd like fuuta does)
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lucreziaces · 2 months
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not sure anyone’s gonna like me saying this but I do believe cesare allowed lucrezia to be an accomplice to him killing alfonso so that he could justify them being together in his head. like, he had rufio waiting downstairs for his command to finish alfonso off, and yet when he saw lucrezia mixing the cantarella he just stays, watching her, commenting to himself that she is a professional. he's spent most of the season pulling away from her, from their shared feelings because one of his main goals throughout the whole series is protecting her innocence and once they've crossed the rubicon, he feels his failure at protecting her innocence like a weight crushing him. and then this near perfect opportunity to just let all that weight fall away lands in his lap and he just thinks if she is willing, why let the opportunity go to waste? why step in and say that he started this, he should be the one to end it or tell her that rufio will end alfonso's agony? and so, he doesn't and she cleans up his mess, making her directly responsible for the death of an innocent, therefore, making it possible in cesare's mind for them to finally give into their feelings without him feeling like he's failing her as her older brother.
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I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again a house that’s out of the closet is a house that says gay slurs
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gethoce · 10 months
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''A letter is sent down the GSA Headquarters, titled ''A Request'', these are the contents from it.''
''Greetings! To whoever gets this letter, I will introduce myself, as I have a confession to do. My name is Fylass Paragon, and I am one of the few remaining ancients in these current times. I've never been wanting to share this, but I feel like I should be giving out information to the people that need it. I am sure that whatever gets out of my mouth regarding the Ancients could be useful for someone like you.
If you are interested, I live in Planet Popstar, in Cookie Country, to be exact. I have more than enough evidence to confirm any of your suspicions. I hope that this could help to cleanse my sins.''
-Fylass
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Sir Arthur originated from ancient Shiver Star and used to be quite infamous for his cruelty. He has changed his ways since and made sure to make up for his past mistakes, yet the idea of someone potentially knowing of his crimes is not something he takes lightly.
On the bright side of things this also means that he won't be hostile towards Fylass for their own past sins.
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soaps-mohawk · 7 months
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The way I can excuse Price for using a family as leverage during an interrogation but I can't forgive Graves for betraying the boys 😭😂 WHY IS IT SO MUCH WORSE TO ME?!
Honestly it's probably cause in the end the family didn't get hurt BUT GRAVES WAS OUT TO GET MY BOYS!!! I COULD NOT FORGIVE THAT
It's because we care about the boys.
It's a betrayal. We feel it more because we're emotionally connected to the boys. It feels more like a slight against us too because they're characters we care about.
Sure, what Price did was questionable, but no one (innocent) died. No one (innocent) was hurt. No one was going to get hurt, and we know that because we (as the player) were in control at that moment. Price was threatening a person who deserved to be threatened, and the player decided who to aim the gun at and whether or not to shoot.
But Graves? There was no control over that. No control, and it was a direct threat to characters we're supposed to care about. (Not to mention Graves literally sent his men out to just slaughter the entire town). It's supposed to feel worse because it is worse.
It's easier to forgive Price because he was doing what had to be done. Even though what he did might not make him a good person, in the end, we forgive him because 1. He's the hero. He's the one we put our hope and our faith and our trust in to save the day. 2. We have that emotional connection to him. He's on our side so we care about him.
It's worse to you because it is worse. That's the simple answer. We know to put our trust in Price no matter what he might do, because we both have the same goal in the end. But Graves? Graves betrayed the characters we put our trust in and we have that shared connection with. Graves betrayed us too.
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dnangelic · 21 days
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u can't spell sea witch without serve
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mongo-the-liensis · 18 days
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A war criminal??? But, your hounour! He's never done anything wrong in his entire life!!
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clownprince · 1 year
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every day is just. i open tumblr.app. i see the worst most oversimplified sandpapered nuance-less dc comics take imaginable. i spend several minutes staring at it debating whether it's worth arguing over (it never is). i sigh, shake my head in resignation and close tumblr.app
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thewingedwolf · 1 year
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a lot of my free time is spent listening to a podcast run and researched by a professor of genocide studies who went into those studies specifically bc in an attempt to escape the violence of his angry, alcoholic father he signed up to go off to war in afghanistan only to realize that the whole war and war in general is a) stupid & boring and b) a series of horrific war crimes that had made the civilian population deeply suspicious of him even tho His Morals Were In The Right Place (tm). when he got home and threw himself into being anti violence, joining anarchist orgs & studying theory & trying to understand why he was sent to the other side of the world to be traumatized for no good reason while traumatizing the local population with his very presence, his shithead father died & he found out that his father was Like That bc their family was chased out of armenia because of genocide and it kicked off a cycle of violence & anger in the men of his family. he absolutely lost his shit, got his degree in genocide studies, and moved to armenia (do not ask me how he convinced his wife to do this with him. he’s really open about every other aspect of his life except his wife and kids which is imo very valid).
all that to say, he has this interesting perspective of war in that he has this cultural trauma of being the victim of a horrific crime while also himself being the perpetrator of imperialism & serving in an area that had recently been the site of several horrific war crimes (really similar to tim o’brien, who served in my lai several months after the massacre but didn’t know the massacre had happened & pieced together what happened from the horrified whispers of the civilians & brags from soldiers). it makes him both hyper critical of soldiers who do terrible things & empathetic to soldiers who are forced from home to do terrible things & angry on behalf of civilians who are victims of war crimes. i have ragged on him for being Very Midwestern about certain things but his research is interesting & sad & well done, & it’s really made me think about my own place in The Greater World & every time the internet loses its mind over some aspect of history i am violently reminded that most people just look at history and go “but MY SIDE was justified actually” when that’s such a BABY IDEA OF HOW HISTORY AND WAR WORKS.
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