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#hell even just like. stupid people lmao
lesbinewren · 4 months
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not surprising but still wild that google added an ai feature to the very top of every single searches that gives incorrect information more often than not. like a beloved restaurant that randomly starts topping all of their food with cyanide one day for no reason. no you’re not allowed to ask them to not top your dish with cyanide this is the future of food
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vulpinesaint · 3 months
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my problematic gender truth is that i actually feel no attachment to either of the two binary gender constructs. it just like. makes no sense to me. i've got my own unrelated thing going on. but in the absence of connection to either choice i really do find it more convenient to cosplay closer to the one that people treat like a human being
#have never liked being a girl. but that's not really out of like. any kind of desperation to be anything else.#i don't care about being a man literally at all in fact the idea is kind of uncomfortable to me. cause i'm not a man#but being perceived as a woman is such orders of magnitude worse...#testosterone is awesome cause transsexuality is so fucking hot no matter what#but like. dysphoria is so fucking weird when there's not even rll anything i'm trying to pass as. i complain ab not passing but i'm not#like. putting my all into it. i go out looking like i do and i know i'm not reading Man i don't give a fuck.#but yet... holding myself back from fun makeup looks... from skirts even... cause knowing that someone sees me as a woman is Awful#like. dehumanizing even. viscerally uncomfortable.#idk. for me it connects to a lack of respect. girls will treat me nice no matter what and i don't think i read as a girl To Girls#vague gay person energy that just makes them say 'slay' around me too much. so not a Boy to them but i'll play gbf whatevs whatevs#starting a conversation with a man and being able to immediately tell that they see me as a woman fucking Sucks though.#many people are normal and so this is not an issue <3 and even if they don't see me as a man it's like whatever <3#but many people. well.#I Can Tell You Don't Respect Me. Could You Treat Me Like A Tranny At Least#disgust would be better honestly. long sigh though#every trans person i meet says i pass like hell. cis people continue to be blind and fucking stupid though#i read as a boy to ai now lmao i get the boy results on filters. so it's something wrong with the real life cissies i think#valentine notes
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hauntingblue · 6 months
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I loved this movie about nami and her ex situationship reconciling and also anti capitalism
#i have one question are the episode 0 of movies just fanservice am i reding this right. also zoro looks jealous and petty#can they in like love action make zoro chastize sanji bc he is an ally and not just letting him sound jealous and petty like i enjoy both#but clarificaiton sometimes you know. like sanji stop that its dehumanizing and disrespectful also i want you#why are they worried about money when they are in a casino. nami was great at playing cards wasnt she#franky and luffy bonding sumo time.... nami gets the title hell yeah lmao i have been saying she is the strongest#omg the children sellong flowers... dont tell me luffy is going to defeat capitalism in this movie. hell yeah#i was gonna say cant believe they let luffy bet but he does have good luck tho. the stomach ache lmao#sanji is so stupid akdjsksks the guy who likes pain also....don't let sanji think too much about it omg the golden dust....#zoro is going to be executed sanji and luffy are unlucky and all of them are broke and in debt. damn. how are you broke as a pirate even#nami and carina ex situationship talking about trusting each other again looking at the sunset... exactly#that was such a nasty betrayal and nami trusting her again so easily and fast like damn.#also what is the cp0 koala and sabo doing there like damn. jesus even#also what is absalom doing there....#and WHO let luffy infiltrate. FRANKY GOT IMPALED!! gold is really malleable and not resistant and strong like this is getting me out of it#sanji got a cleaning man fit instead of a cleaning lady fit so why is usopp wearing one ajdjaka.... i mean he is the crews babygirl....#also second movie where zoro gets kidnapped. the peoples princess.#omg they are in the pipes. also why is there pipe for the entry of seawater in a boat. maybe i don't know enough about boats#franky getting luffy out of the fan.... cradled like baby jesus for an instant#omg they have been bamboozled BY CARINA?????? OMG AGAIN??? NAMI!!!! OH NVM!!! WHAT???#luffy didnt know they were doing all this cause he would have fucked it up akshaua him being thrown half dead out of the tower ahsuakaia#this reminds me of super mario wii where bowser turns into a bigger bowser when you kill it. damn#also another good guy turned villain because of tragedy. two in a row#the kid with the metal pipe omg... sabo is coming#i heard hikken and the voice was so similar i wondered why ace was there.... for a millisecond he was there..... 😞#the red hawk and everything..... should we all kill ourselves.... omg carina didnt betray her actually#tesoro dumb asf for taking nami look how he is going down after that lmao didnt expect gear fourth tho. damn#still thinking about how gold isnt that strong so this shouldn't be necessary but alas shonen be shonen. luffy saving namis gf too <3#talking tag#watching one piece#watching one piece movies
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coolauntlilith · 1 year
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Every now and then I replay the first episode of VLD and I wonder why I thought it be a good show lol
#mostly just the part where Allura is assigning pilots to lions#why lol. the first five people who show up are just perfect fits?? hate it lol#i have no au plot ideas but itd have made more sense to draw out the forming of voltron. like for a longer time. like its the s1 finale#and to be traveling looking for appropriate pilots#or the s2 finale? like what if the original gang somehow stayed in contact despite not being Voltron paladins and they proved being the best#team despite not piloting immediately. i feel like a stronger plot of their forming teamwork outside of being Voltron would have also made#their friendships seem more real too lmao#like what if Lance IS Blue's pilot bit hes the only one for a long time. the other lions couldn't actually *just be* located#*but. not bit. and what if Pidge runs off in a stolen vessel to find her dad and brother. what if Shiro isnt.. so flat as a character and is#desperate to find his old team and runs off with them to help out and free others#Keith could somehow get involved with The Blades a lot sooner#and Hunk finds his footing as a leader in rebellion organization. i hate that he was just the funny guy allll the way thru#also (still not a plot bc my brain is unorganized lol) Allura doesnt die. Shiro actually gets to be gay with a husband. and we either need#to not make Lotor a villain or just go all out on making him the worst. i personally dont want him to be a villain bc it was stupid lol#also PULEEEAASE Lance is bi. Lance “I'm just getting a feel for the stick” *obsessed with his rival who doesnt even know he exists* McClain#i want to see him get over his crush on Allura within like 6 episodes and then see him making out with the mermaids then Keith when everyone#starts reuniting lol. my bicon Lance deserves to kiss mermaids like we all do and then get on when the otp lol#now im nostalgic for s1 VLD vibes. ya know. before hell lol#it really just gets worse after ... s3? everyone feels different. i usually tolerate up to about the end of s3 before i feel like its donezo#aunt posting#vld#voltron: legendary defender
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cannibalisam · 1 year
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i have fully been converted into a john winchester apologist at this point but i still don't want to watch the winchesters because it just doesn't look like. Fun
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d0d0-b0i · 2 years
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Word of advice from a guy who gets shit on by people hating his comfort medias. People are assholes sometimes for no reason, they hate art on a surface level because they want something to hate. Your favorite medias aren't bad, in my opinion they're really cool (people who can get into rwby are like superheros to me same with sonic but I'm slowly getting into that) don't listen to the haters and keep loving what you love!
ty fr 😭🙏 i am a consistent enjoyer of what people often consider "bad" media, but i never understand why its bad. it simply doesnt register
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Behold, my slapdash spur of the moment word vomit silly little fantasy of if Aemond Had Switched Sides To The Blacks When Viserys Croaked:
-Otto and especially Alicent would be in straight up denial up until they see his ass on that dragon coming for King’s Landing because fAmILy sTiCkS tOgEtHeR nO mAtTeR wHaT like who cares if Otto pimped out his daughter and who cares that they forced Helaena to marry Aegon (she has zero love for that bum come on now) WE ARE A FAMILY DAMMIT and they just can’t comprehend a dynamic where Aemond would see them as anything other than his highest priority worthy of 1000% of his loyalty and dedication no matter how scummy they are ✨just because they’re family✨
-a little standoff with Daemon when Aemond gets to Dragonstone because Daemon is the way that he is 🤷🏽‍♀️
-“Mother says that Father changed his mind at the last moment but I know by the seven that that is complete bullshit he barely even knew we existed and yes I still can’t stand my nephews BUT I’m willing to leave it all in the past-ish because Aegon’s drunk r*p*st ass would run the realm straight into the ground, let’s just be realistic here..”
-would apologize to Rhaena and get all huffy when she refuses to accept the apology, Jace would play peacemaker and finally apologize about the eye which in turn would prompt Aemond to grudgingly admit that *maybe* he shouldn’t have grabbed a rock to try to bash Jace’s skull in with and it just snowballs into an actual heart to heart between them all, Baela adding in that hey I should have remembered dragons aren’t slaves and they choose their riders blah blah bla Aemond adding that it was definitely out of pocket for him to claim Vhagar literally hours after her moms funeral blah blah bla we were all just kids tho bla blah blah ending with Luke apologizing about the pig thing 🥺
-then we get a scene where Daemon is still suspicious and questions Aemond when they’re like out patrolling or whatever. “Why did you REALLY leave?” (You little shit??)
-“....because Mother turned out to be just like grandsire...and I realized grandsire didn’t give a shit about my eye or what I had suffered, only that it gave him an opportunity to weaken Rhaenyra because I had obtained a dragon for ‘our side’. It’s all they care about, how they can undermine her and uplift house Hightower....They don’t give a shit about me and I would have done everything for them...I’m as interchangeable as the most lowly of their banner men.”
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-cue Daemon inwardly realizing oh shit I have a new son now because yes Daemon is a fucked up scumbag but goddamn it if he isn’t a total sap for the whole “I try so hard to get genuine love from my family why can’t they understand that and give me some love back” thing
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-anyways Aemond goes to Storm’s end and snags Maris as a wife because who doesn’t love a good roast amirite and the whole posse will storm Kings Landing, RhaeRhae is crowned again in front of the people and she reigns for a bajillion squillion years everyone is happy especially me the end lmao
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saviourkingslut · 1 year
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went to my gp and they'll get me a referral to the transgender dep at the hospital so i can get on the waiting list. wahoo
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favroitecrime · 1 year
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twitter whacking that “i want it all” performance with kourtney and carlos & saying seb should’ve been ryan… maybe i don’t hate twitter
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ironmanstan · 1 year
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.
#sometimes i wonder if i should just go by maryam professionally#i feel like this would extremely lower my chances of getting outed on accident lmao.#all my branding is centered on my renegaedz username anyway like if i switched over itd alter pretty much nothing.#my dad simultaneously being so neglectful but such a fucking busybody and all my transphobic irls literal only reason id need to do this.#in theory i would not have to have literal separate art identities to keep up the facade but then i would have to play a balancing game#but then this means letting everyone i know irl into my little zone lmaooo i hate everyone .#i hate so many of my irls lol you all make me so fucking mad and make me hate being trans so fucking much sometimes.#why do i have to compromise on who i am just so i can fucking exist#'what if i compromise on how i present myself so i dont need to worry about being open about my art ventures'#all this so i can be open to people who i went through hell for over a decade to#connect to who rejected me already just because im autistic . everyday im violent.#people who would want me to fucking die and spit on my existence forever if they knew i didnt hate gay people#let alone that im fucking trans haha ? hahaha yeah so true i should suck up forever and vie for the attention of people#who hate me already and keep me around to be nice#i hate everyone so fucking much sometimes honestly. you all act like youre on some moral warfront fighting against westerners pushing queer#as if historically queerness was pushed out of muslim communities and south asia because of FUCKING COLONIZATION#i fkjhckjhk يا الله the people on this earth are in their stupidity arc#i hate u all i hate u all . acting like we must fight to protect our communities but then turn a blind eye to how u hurt ur communities.#there aint no fucking queer epidemic and even if it WAS haram you know what is worse? fucking LYING. go worry about THAT#vent#sorry i am so insane rn i have suddenly gotten so mad for no reason lmao
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the-kipsabian · 2 months
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oh good late night wembley sadness nice
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falinscloaca · 10 months
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people who were convinced miwa was going to have some sort of insane powerup because she showed up for like 2 panels during the CG gotta feel uh. bad. rn.
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angeltism · 1 year
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ohh shit listening 2 random playlists and getting punched in the emotions so hard when Heather starts playing that i well up in tears within the first 5 seconds
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sunrizef1 · 4 months
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imgonnagetyouback
Pairing: Lando Norris x Fem!singer!reader
Warnings: Cursing
Authors note: I guess I lied about the Lando thing… this songs just so Lando I can’t explain it and I’m actually obsessed with this song rn. You probably have to at least know the premise of the song to understand the second half of this.
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INSTAGRAM
yourusername
📍New York, New York
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liked by maxfewtrell taylorswift and 13,998,887 others
yourusername hello, New York!
tagged: taylorswift
Load comments…
user1 my fav
user2 love her
user3 so pretty 🤩
taylorswift 🩵
yourusername 🤭💋
user4 welcome to New York, so real
user5 I miss Lando
user6 hi queen!!!
user7 new music when
user8 “I love NY not you” lmao Lando get up
user9 now why in the world did max like this
user10 and now Lando will post an Instagram story of him partying with some random girl to prove he’s having more fun than y/n is, we know how this goes
user11 you can not tell me they don’t miss each other
sabrinacarpenter pretty 🤩 🤩 🤩
yourusername no u 💋
user12 I just need a video of her English ass trying to navigate new York please and thx
maxfewtrell hey bestie!
yourusername oh my god get out of here
user13 wtf is max doing 😭😭
gracieabrams I ❤️ u
yourusername 🥰
oscarpiastri hi
yourusername hi?
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landonorris added to their story
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user14
Now wtf
user15
user10 was right
user16
Alright ig
oscarpiastri
oh okay
MESSAGES
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INSTAGRAM
yourusername added to their story
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oscarpiastri
Still can't believe you convinced me to do that
yourusername
You'll be fine, ill get you concert tickets
can't even tell its you either
oscarpiastri
fine
they better be vip
yourusername
Dw they will be
—————-
maxfewtrell
???
yourusername
Dw its just Oscar
maxfewtrell
Jesus i cant believe you
yourusername
He started it. This is the first time I've included a guy in my posts, landos been doing it for months
maxfewtrell
you're gonna be the death of me
yourusername
💋💋💋💋
maxfewtrell
take care of yourself though y/n
yourusername
I am
Thx tho max 🫶
maxfewtrell
Yeah yeah 🙄
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yourusername
📍Paris, France
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liked by charles_leclerc oscarpiastri and 21,008,771 others
yourusername I can tell when somebody still wants me
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user17 oh yay they're gonna sneak diss in their Insta captions again
user18 I miss dad ☹️
user19 she's so pretty omg
maxfewtrell oh wonderful we’re doing this now
yourusername leave
user20 lando its your turn
user21 IM IN LOVE WITH HER
charles_leclerc I'm amused
yourusername congrats
user22 they're so messy I love them
oscarpiastri great he's about to drag me into doing something stupid because of this
yourusername that is not my problem
user23 I sense new music coming along
user24 I do genuinely think he still wants her lowk
user25 they want eachother, don't lie. Its defo mutual
user26 😍😍😍
taylorswift 🤩
yourusername 🥰
jackantonoff 🤪
liker by yourusername
user27 why is jack here???? New music???
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landonorris
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liked by maxfewtrell martingarrix and 12,008,998 others
landonorris I have what I want
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user28 oh… yay
user29 🤩🤩🤩
user30 say what you want about their shitty personalities but they sure do know how to make an aesthetic post
user31 the shade is immense
maxfewtrell im nauseous
landonorris 👍
user32 they’re so into each other it’s actually insane
user33 OH MY GOD WE GET IT YOU MISS EACHOTHER
user34 🤩🤩🤩
user35 he’s so fine
user35 LANDO-
user36 now what’s y/n gonna do
user37 how long until they both apologize and get back together… these are not the posts of people who have healthily moved on from their previous relationship
user38 fine as hell lowk
oscarpiastri this is 100% the most healthy way to handle this
landonorris I didn’t ask
user39 all of their friends are so annoyed and it’s so funny
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yourusername added to their story
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maxfewtrell
Is this a song where you admit you’re still in love with Lando so you both can finally get over your emotional immaturity???
yourusername
kinda
maxfewtrell
Oh fr?
I thought you’d just be mean to him for the whole song
yourusername
Uhhh-
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yourusername
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liked by sabrinacarpenter taylorswift and 21,000,111 others
yourusername imgonnagetyouback out now 🩶
Load comments…
user40 IM GONNA GET YOU BACK
user41 oh my god it’s so good
user42 LANDO GET UP
user43 THE CAPTION FROM PARIS WAS A SONG LYRICCCCC
user44 oh so she’s still in love with him
user45 “you were never not mine” 💀
user46 I CAN FEEL IT COMING HUMMIN IN THE WAY YOU MOVE
user47 PUSH THE RESET BUTTON WERE BECOMING SOMETHING NEW
user48 SAY YOU GOT SOMEBODY ILL SAY IVE GOT SOMEONE TOO
user49 EVEN IF ITS HANDCUFFED IM LEAVING HERE WITH YOU
user50 “I’m an Aston Martin” okay lance strollll
oscarpiastri “I’ve got someone too” no you do not 💀
yourusername oh my god shut up
user51 she’s still in love with him dhmu
maxfewtrell when I asked if this was going to be emotionally healthy and not a diss I can now see why you were conflicted…. Bit of both tbh
yourusername 🫶
maxfewtrell 👎
user52 told my friends I hate you but I love you just the same 😭
user53 SO GOOD
user54 WHETHER IM GONNA BE YOUR WIFE????
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landonorris added to their story
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maxfewtrell
what does this achieve
landonorris
What do you want
maxfewtrell
Mate come on
you’re still obviously in love with her
and the song litteraly shows she’s still in love with you
all you’ve done is post a thirst trap of yourself with song lyrics on top
landonorris
It’s not a thirst trap
maxfewtrell
I hate both of you
text her mate
you’re happier together
And I’m tired of both of you annoying the shit out of me
landonorris
Fine
Maybe I will
maxfewtrell
Thank god
It’d be the first time you listened to me
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MESSAGES
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INSTAGRAM
yourusername added to their story
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maxfewtrell
That better be Lando or so help me god
yourusername
Calm your tits
It is
maxfewtrell
YEAHHHH
Finally
I can stop playing matchmaker
yourusername
😒😒😒😒
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oscarpiastri
Oh so this means you’ll both stop dragging me into your dumb shit
yourusername
🖕🖕🖕🖕
oscarpiastri
🫶
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TWITTER
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INSTAGRAM
landonorris
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liked by yourusername maxfewtrell and 13,001,881 others
landonorris told my friends I hate you but I love you just the same
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user55 YEAHHHHHHH
user56 Y/N LIKED WE’RE SO BACK
user57 my favs
user58 my parents are back together 😭
user59 unlike your real ones
user58 woah???
user59 🤷‍♀️ it’s the truth
user60 I missed them so much 😭😭😭
user61 admitted you love your ex-gf on main, this is self-improvement
yourusername pick your poison, babe
landonorris I’m poison either way
user62 I appreciate the repeating lyrics at each other because it is cute but those are not the kindest lyrics to be repeating 😭
user63 who knew that shit-talking your ex in a song could get him to re-admit his love for you
maxfewtrell took you long enough
landonorris legitimately who asked you
maxfewtrell I’m the reason this even happened in the first place. Watch your tone.
landonorris thanks i guess
maxfewtrell “I guess” @/yourusername this is how happy he is to have you back
yourusername landoooo
landonorris sorry. Thank you so much max, I’m so grateful you brought the loml back to me.
maxfewtrell you’re welcome ☺️
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yourusername
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liked by landonorris maxfewtrell and 20,887,991 others
yourusername got you back
load comments…
user64 she got him back 🥹
user65 YEAHHHHH LFG
user66 awwwww
user67 I love them so much
user68 sleeping on the highway tonight 🫶
oscarpiastri 🥳🥳🥳
liked by yourusername
user69 these pictures are so cute oh my god 😭
user70 IM GONNA GET YOU BACK
landonorris you decided wether you’re gonna be my wife or smash up my bike yet?
yourusername still not sure… maybe both 🤔
user71 BOTH?????
user72 YEAH YEAH THATS FUNNY AND ALL BUT SHE JUST SAID SHE’D MARRY HIM
maxfewtrell congratulations nerds
yourusername thanks mate
user73 I’m in love with both of them
user74 they’re both so much happier together I really hope they stick this time
user75 and when she releases a love album then what
landonorris ily 🫶
yourusername ily2 🫶
user76 Jesus Christ they’re such teenagers 😭 USE FULL WORDS 😭😭😭
user77 no I get them. I wouldn’t post full love confessions in an Instagram comment section either lmao
user78 they got each other back 🫶
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Taglist: @casperlikej @evie-119
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solardrop · 3 months
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mean drunk.
aaron hotchner x fem!reader.
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summary: after a bau night on the town your boyfriend tries to get you to admit to being mean when you drink. But he can't seem to keep his hands to himself either... (or hotch says you're a mean drunk and you say 'nuh uh") tags: smut NSFW 18+ alcohol use. dubious consent because both parties are drunk but 'consenting'. oral m/f receiving. unprotected p in v. spitting. literally like 2 seconds of anal. word count: ~2.6k a/n: be nice to me you aren't allowed to be mean this is my first time writing a fic since the finnick odair x oc fic i posted on ff.net when I was like 12 LMAO. first smut in general too so. yeah. all divider creds. to @cafekitsune
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The two of you stumbled into the entryway of Hotch's bedroom with your faces all but glued together. Thick hands grasped at the small patch of skin revealed as your shirt rode up your back. 
You lean into his chest and grips a handful of your breast in his hand appreciatively before walking you backwards to the plush comfort of his bed. Suddenly, he pulls away from you completely and boyishly smiles down at you perched  on the edge of his bed.
His lips and neck are covered in a glittery brown sheen from your lip gloss. Black hair spiking in unnatural directions. The powder blue dress shirt he wore haphazardly wrinkled from your efforts to untuck the crisp fabric from his now tightening dress pant. You could eat him from the top down. But he was just standing there. Smiling at you instead of stripping. 
"Aaron, I swear if you dont fucking touch me I'll kill you-"
He giggles as he unbuttons his shirt, "Very mean drunk."
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A successful case led the entire team to a night of drinks at O'Keefe's. Penelope was all but pouring shots down everyone's throats; she somehow even managed to get Hotch to down a few extra glasses of scotch than his typical. Unsurprisingly the result was everyone being absolutely sloshed. Everyone was giggly and free, playing stupid drinking games before the topic of 'drunk personalities' came to the table. 
JJ declared herself a sleepy drunk, while Derek, Garcia, and Emily all admitted to being more flirty. Spencer and David started going back and forth about the psychological implications of the human personality traits while intoxicated. So their categorization as chatty drunks went without saying. You were starting to agree with JJ on being sleepy when your annoying man decided to cut you off and say you were mean when drunk. 
Sure, liquid courage did loosen your tongue a bit. You were guilty of causing few hurt feelings after a night out. And maybe Aaron had to whisk you away from a few bar fights with people you couldn't take without your handgun. But you were not a mean drunk!
An uncharacteristic back and forth bounces between you for the remainder of the night. Only ceasing when he smashes his lips against yours in the taxi home. 
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His calloused hands flip you around roughly. Propping your hips up towards his face. Your face heats as he presses his face into your wetness, inhaling deeply and moaning at the scent of you.
"So pretty.." He spreads your lips apart with his thumbs, the moisture there almost holding them together. 
Your head was spinning, now from more than just the alcohol. The position was just embarrassing. You were almost completely upside down and your back arched shamelessly. Hell, you couldn't even see Aaron's pretty face like this. His strong thighs and thickening length weren't bad to look at either but you wanted to see him. 
you crane your neck around to tell him as much when he closes his lips around your clit and sucks greedily. 
"Aar-" you gasp. 
You squirm in the grasp he has on your hips. He tightens his hands around you, preventing your from escape. the warmth of his lips travel up from your nub to lick a few long stripes against your slit. 
"Oh fuck off-" you start.
He was going to kill you like this. Your face and neck were too hot, your back was starting to ache. The alcohol and your arousal swirling your mind into a fog.  Hotch continues his attack on your sex. Sucking and licking with whatever intensity he pleased. His words slur together as he praises you. The sound so intelligible you're convinced that they're more for himself than you. 
When the warmth of his tongue prods at your entrance, you fall forward. The wiry hairs along his thigh press into your cheek as your face is squished there. The invasion has you moaning and wailing, bucking your hips closer to him now; begging for him to delve deeper. Your desperation must amuse him because you feel a short puff of air and the semblance of a smile against you. What an absolute drunken ass. 
With a renewed burst of energy, you lean over without warning and suck the head of his length into your mouth. The strong, salty flavor of him spreads along your tongue as you circle the muscle around his tip. 
"Fucking hell-" he rips his mouth from you and yelps out. 
He jerks at your stimulation. His hips thrust into your mouth reflexively, the erratic movement causing his shaft to slip deeper into your mouth. You allow it, pressing your face closer and closer to him until the coarse patch of curls above his length pressed against your chin. 
He's always been so thick. But being held like this, he felt even heavier and stiffer in your mouth. You hollow your cheeks to pull off of him almost completely, the remaining glitter on your lips streaking up his shaft, before quickly pressing yourself down to the hilt. His tip taps against the back of your throat, you welcome the intrusion and swallow around him. 
He stutters your name out, the syllables melting together as you bob your head along him. You giggle at his lack of articulation. The mean, pristine, crime-fighting machine Supervisory Special Agent Hotchner. Reduced to nothing but a gasping mess from a moment in your mouth and a few glasses of whiskey. A hum vibrates from your chest when you pull of to stroke him with a taunt. A string of saliva still connecting your lips to his swollen pink tip.
"See honey? if I was such a meanie drunk," a bead of precum weeps from his slip, you tongue darts out to collect it, "I would take such good care of you like this. Right?"
You slip back down to bask in your self-proclaimed victory. Savoring the heady taste of him before Aaron abruptly drives two thick fingers into you. 
Your eyes snap open and the sound that rips from your throat reverberates around the room, even muffled by the length of him. He picks up a rapid pace. The wet sounds of your pleasure winding you up even further than you thought possible. His girth slips with a pop. Moaninh against his calf as your body slides from its arched position to lay almost flat against his outstretched legs.
"Aar- '' you cry. "Aar this is so- Baby I- I don't think I can-"
You jump as he spits on your lips and grinds a thumb into your nub. As if you needed to be any slicker. The tight circles he makes are punishing. His saliva cooling against your folds doing little to waver the heat building between your legs. His fingers slam into you over and over, sometimes curling down and brushing that soft, sweet spot deep inside you. 
"Uh uh. The gorgeous girl I know can do anything," he presses an additional finger into you, "isn't that right?" 
You buck your hips back into him, the praise sending a shock to your core. You chance a glance over your shoulder at him, and you have to screw your eyes shut again and groan at the sight. The entire lower half of his face was covered in you. The bottom lip tucked between his lips shiny, red, and swollen. His eyes were low, hyperfocused on the movement of his hands between your legs.  Pale face still red from the night of festivities. He looked absolutely entranced. Completely pleased himself and they way he was wrecking you. 
"Aaron, Please just-" He wickedly pinches your clit between his thumb and forefinger and you squeal. 
"Hm? That attitude" he says as he pinches you again.
"Fuck-"
"See?" Another pinch. " I told you, you're a mean drunk," he does it again. 
Tears prickle in your eyes, sweat along your forehead clinging your curls to your warm skin. You thrash and cry as he continues his onslaught.  He was sitting beneath you, pushing and twisting and gripping your body in any way he wanted while you cried and you were the mean drunk?
You try to slip away from him, the pleasure too much, yet not enough to send you over the edge. But he slips his fingers out of you to grab you by the hips, spreading the globes of ass apart to spit on you again. 
Except this time the cold shock landed right on the pucker of your asshole. 
"Aaron!" you whimper
"If only my baby was nicer to me," he has the nerve to sigh wistfully, "I'm so damn hard, if she asked me politely I'd fuck her so good she'd lose it..." 
He rubbed his thumb over your hole, not pushing in, but applying enough pressure to have you keening in pleasure. 
He sighs again, completely ignoring your pants and cries. "But I think I can finish without touching just like this, hm? Maybe in 30? An hour?"
No. Nope. Absolutely not. 
If you had a lick of sense left in your brain right now you'd realize he was fucking with you. You'd recognize his words and the creeping smile on his face as the bullshit they were. But right now all your muddled mind was registering was the danger of being held shaking and pained for an hour without release. You would never finish like this, you couldn't. You needed to look into his eyes, feel his lips graze along your face as you came.  You wouldn't get that, not like this, you'd be stuck like this.
"Pleaseplease Aaron- Aar- fuck. Please I need you, Aar. Please-" 
He breathes out a laugh. Finally granting you mercy from his wicked hands. He grunts a little at the effort of pulling himself up around you, kissing your shoulder as his face finally nears yours. 
"I thought you'd never ask" he smiles, "Where do you want me gorgeous?"
You twist to move on your back, and Hotch shifts to allow you more space. You face him for the first time in a while, and your heat clenches almost automatically when his eyes meet yours. 
It was fucking sick how he had the nerve to call you gorgeous when he looked so positively delicious himself. His lids were still low and his cheeks were still tinged pink. But now you had a true view of the slick coating his mouth and chin. A crooked smile beamed off his face, smile lines deepening at the gesture. 
"Like this," You hold his face in your palms, pulling him down to peck on the lips quickly, "I want to see you, please."
"Anything you want, legs up for me." He playfully taps his hand on the side of your ass. Your legs shoot up quickly, and his eyes crinkle with laughter at your desperation when he props your knees on his shoulders. 
He presses his lips to yours again before shifting all his weight to one arm, the muscle there flexing while he reaches down to grip himself with his free hand.
He runs the tip of his length along your folds, every brush causing you to twitch with sensitivity. Special attention is given to your already swollen clit, nudging his hips forward to swipe against the delicate bundle of nerves.  He pulls away and slots his lips above yours to kiss you fully. 
You eagerly press yourself closer to him, deepening the kiss. His tongue presses into your mouth and you groan when the taste of your wetness mingles with the familiar bite of the dark liquor on his tongue. 
He notches himself at your entrance, massaging but still failing to push inside of you. A whine bubbled from the back of your throat. 
"Baby, I promise I'm already wet enou- Oh!" your murmuring is cut short by Aaron thrusting into you all at once. 
He doesn't even move before your wretched body betrays you. the abrupt force and fullness pushing a white-hot pleasure throughout your entire being. Your thighs beg to snap shut, but the spread of your knees on his shoulders denies them. Your walls lock around him in a vice, causing him to grunt above you. You're saying something, probably some warbled nonsense, but you can't even hear yourself above the heartbeat in your ears. 
Aaron presses his face into the crook of your neck as you come down from your high. Whispering your name and 'i love you', 'so beautiful's into your skin. 
The fluttering of your core begins to slow when he pulls almost completely out of you, only the head remaining within your warmth. He raises an eyebrow at you expectantly, when your breath catches.
"We're not done here are we? Best one of two?" He doesn't wait for an answer before pushing into you, this time much slower.
you mewl at the firm stretch of him. Your hands reach up to grip the back of his neck, pressing his forehead to your own. Your eyes bounce around his features, burning each one into every empty space in your mind like you could ever forget. The precious mole you loved to kiss on his cheek. The unruly hairs sticking up on his temples. His pretty jet-black lashes flutterinh as he struggles to keep his eyes open for you.
His pace intensifies as he gets closer to his own climax, ramming into you. Every push tickles your clit with the thatch of curls that crown his shaft. 
"Such a good girl for me," he tries to hold back a moan causing him to stutter, " Y-you have one more in you I know it." 
The rough sensation of his calloused hands running up your side makes you shiver. You feel it again as he continues to bully his way through your center, the intense warmth pooling in your toes before creeping upwards. You nod your head at him, begging him to keep going, go faster, fuck into you deeper, love you fully. He complies with every soft cry, kissing and biting at your jaw as he forces you over into your second orgasm. 
You were almost completely gone for this one. Screaming into Aaron's mouth as he continues to chase his own release using your body. Your body shakes and you grip his biceps until the crescent marks of your fingernails are guaranteed to become a permanent fixture on his body. 
The breathless whimpering in your ear is what helps slowly bring you back down from your own world. You could tell he was close, his eyes screwing shut and his hips bucking into you out of pace every few beats. Using the last of your strength you push your hips up to meet his thrusts, fucking him back. You press a kiss on his good ear. 
"You treat me so well Honey," you murmur, "Come for me, you're so, so good to me, let me have you"
You suck the lobe of his ear into your mouth and bite down. He punches into you with one final thrust before you feel him twitch, bursts of his warm release spurting deeply inside you. He gasps your name out like a prayer as he comes down. 
Normailly his hardness slipping out of you after a session would cause you to cringe, but right now you were so fucking tired you barely even took note of the sensation. Clearly he was just as out of it as he plopped unceremoniously next to you in silence instead of his normal bossy demands for you to get up and pee after he wore you out. Before you even realize it both of you are drifting off into the best sleep you've had in a while. 
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This had to be the worst sleep Aaron's had in a while. His mouth was dry, his head pounding, and his skin felt parched and scratchy despite the sweat that slicked off him. Not to mention the very obvious lack of clothes he was sporting under his bed sheet. 
Before he could grab his phone to send Strauss a termination request form for Garcia (the one he kept saved in his files, yes for moments just like this) you burst into the bedroom and flip the bright lights on. He groans as the rays stab him in the back of the head. You giggle, his pain clearly amusing to you. You saunter over, place a glass of water on the nightstand and press a kiss to his beating forehead. 
"I was wrong, you aren't a mean drunk. You're just mean." he sighs.
You throw your head back in glee
"I'm fine with being the mean drunk," you shrug, "at least we know for sure you're the horny drunk."
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rgrbs · 1 year
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the fake ARG Brandom FM made to talk about his experience being in a school where the headmaster was a predator is x10 more scary than the Mandela Catalogue
hell isn't scary. demons aren't scary.
people are scary
the sooner we can all accept this the sooner we can start getting actually good horror and not lame christian propaganda that just wants to shove the idea of Hell into you because it evidently terrorises these christian horror writers on a daily basis
which is also really funny to me. like the fact your religion is the main source of your fear should be something you unpack tbh
your religion is clearly not a source for good in your life if the scariest thing you can think of is your religion
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