#henry has a dog i can feel it in my bones he has a fluffy sheepdog

[spaghettiandart]

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT. A FNAF DAEMON AU WOULD GO INSANELY HARD.

(Rambling in tags)

[devildomdoofus]

I saw you said your commissions are open, if it's ok can I request a fluffy morning with the demon brothers, please? I just found your blog but I already fell in love with your writing style 😍. I hope you have a great day 🤗

Thank you so very much!! 😭 I’m over the moon that I can make you happy with my writing and I’ll GLADLY take this request ✨ I hope you have a great day as well!!

I also hope I’ve done your request justice 🥺

- DevildomDoofus

Through Morning’s Rays

Fluffy mornings with the Obey Me! Brothers

💙Lucifer:

Both of your schedules differed a generous amount. He wakes up the earliest out of the House of Lamentation and Purgatory Hall combined, to ensure everyone’s up and ready for school/work/etc.... and he is the last to go to bed.

That is, if he isn’t dog tired by the time he’s finished doing his last rounds of security checks and sending any remaining night owls to their rooms to keep their schedules in check, and collapses at his desk while finalizing reports.

You, on the other hand, have a steady schedule due to your obligations to your school (and job, if you worked).

To say that you two have a hard time spending any amount of quality time together is an understatement

Please forgive him, he is a lone father and he is trying his best

When he’s up early to get a head start in working to the bone, as usual and doesn’t have much time to share the fleeting, morning hours with you, he’ll gingerly place a kiss to the top of your head and shift the blankets from your late night tossing and turning, back to their place over your shoulders and covers the rest of your body. He’ll leave a little note by the bedside table that wishes you a wonderful day and promises that he’ll meet with you shortly to make up for lost time.

On the rare occasions that he manages to be able to share mornings with you, it is like a gift from the celestial realm to you both in which afterwards, the two of you are like completely different people, beaming with sunshine and happiness as your batteries have been recharged.

In those rare moments, he’ll slide to your side of the bed, oh so carefully snake his arm around you and tugs you gently into his embrace as he places kisses all atop your head. When you finally open your eyes and face him, he’ll run his hand up the length of your silhouette to your face, cupping it, rub his thumb over your cheek and smile lazily. “Good morning, lamb.” He whispers, trying to disguise the grogginess in his voice. Then, he leans down to press his lips against yours in a way that makes you feel like he’s been starving for you for months on end, only to now get what he’s craved and yet it’s not enough.

In this moment, nothing in all of the realms matters to him more than you. Just you and you alone.

💛Mammon:

You spent many, many, MANY mornings with him and they were some of your favorite memories since you first came to the Devildom. For him.... well, maybe not at first since you were kind of a chore. But the was before you two became so close.

The only problem was that neither of you were morning people, especially if either of you had responsibilities that day like school or work. To deal with such a thing, the two of you made a deal where each of you took turns being the one to help wake the other.

There were mornings where he woke you up with a heavy pillow to the torso and it ended up in you two being late for school due to an epic pillow fight that neither of you wanted to lose.

Other mornings, you woke him up by jumping and flopping around next to him on the bed, belting a song that was the favorite of the pair of you, and he tackles you back down to the bed to deliver you a piping hot plate of a tickle fight

and then there were THOSE mornings.

These mornings, when the two of you just happened to wake around the same time, he’d smile sleepily, yank you closer, and place a kiss on your forehead. “Mornin’, my lil’ human.”

UGH, that gravely, morning voice would be the bittersweet death of you.

While having a few hours to spare, you would lay there in the semidarkness, whispering sweet everythings to each other, exchanging kisses and joke ensued laughter, and simply enjoying each other’s company while entangled in a comfy, cozy embrace.

🧡Leviathan:

It’s the same sort of situation as with Mammon; neither of you were really morning people. But with you two, it was because it came with the terms and conditions of being like minded nerds (as a fellow ‘nerd,’ I mean that term in the best way possible and as a compliment) in which the endgame boss had to be defeated, or that one episode simply could not be missed, or your favorite celebrity/idol was going live and you were not about to be absent for it. Many evenings were spent indulging in both of your favorite hobbies, well into the latest hours of the night and early morning, when you should’ve been sleeping instead.

So of course, mornings were INCREDIBLY ROUGH for the two of you.

In the beginning and a majority of the time, you were the one to wake him up. I hope you can forgive him, though, because almost all of his energy is spent drowning out his negative thoughts and the outside judgement from his own brothers, haters, and toxic fans alike via his hobbies and he doesn’t quite have enough energy to take care of himself, including waking up on time for school or other responsibilities/obligations to avoid getting an ass-chewing from Lucifer... much less waking up on time and then having to wake YOU up.

You had to show him the way, in a sense. You’re his motivation and safety net. Where you go, and ensure his ‘safety’ he delightfully follows. Ergo, you had to be the alarm clock for him, for a while, to be shown that you truly care about him and it’s not all just some exasperating, ridiculously elaborate and heart shattering prank.

Your method of ‘raising the dead’ was to gently comb your hand through his hair while softly beckoning him from his dream world with your sweetest voice to ‘the land of the living.’ His eyes would flutter open and as soon as he saw you with that heartwarming smile, his face would turn a deep crimson and he’d smile back, reaching a hand up to place it over top of yours, somewhat nuzzling into it. “Good morning, my human Henry.” His shy, quiet, gravely voice could melt lava.

Through this method of yours, he no longer woke with animosity for the normie world but was rather hopeful and optimistic, feeling as if nothing could bring him down. Not even his brothers’ insults.

Eventually, he got the hang of it, and he was the one waking YOU up and he did so as sweetly as you had done. He’d place his hand on your cheek, rub his thumb over it, and gingerly place a multitude of kisses atop your head as he whispered your name until you woke.

Some mornings when he was feeling extra giddy, he would place a little speaker near where you had fallen asleep and quietly play your favorite song as he sang along and took hold of your hands to swing them gently to the beat. He saw it once in an anime episode and was hoping it would award him the same giggles the love interest gave the protagonist.

Fortunately for him, it always did.

💚Satan:

Being one of the more mature and responsible brothers, he rarely ever slept in. It’s just in his nature to be an early bird to catch the early worm.. mostly to get it over with so he could get back to doing what he loved most; reading in comfort. Even still, his schedule matched with yours almost perfectly, and that’s due to the fact that, similar to Leviathan, you two were likeminded.

You had the same interests and hobbies so of course, the pair of you grew very close, very quickly. You first linked up for study sessions because celestial realm knows that school in the Devildom was VASTLY different than human world schools, then book club meetings for when you got a little more comfortable with each other’s presence, then as you became even closer, you just decided to do the same things at the same time as it killed two birds with one stone; you got to do what you enjoyed with the person you enjoyed the most.

Mornings to you two were fairly simple and honestly, quite enjoyable with the other being there when you woke.

One morning, Satan took the first step and woke you to the pleasant sound of one of your favorite records echoing from an antique gramophone while placing a tray of your favorite breakfast foods next to the bed. He then leant down, took your hand into his, and kissed from your knuckles, all the way up to your shoulder, and then planting one final, light kiss to your cheek. “My darling MC, it is time to come back to me. Your dreams have had you long enough.”

From then on, you took turns in trying to wake the other in the most romantic ways possible. From your favorite flower’s petals scattering the bed, to his favorite audio books reading him awake. There was nothing that you two wouldn’t do in order to guarantee that the other woke to nothing less than the world on a silver and golden platter.

He was the envy of his brothers especially Mammon, getting to spend so much time with you and having you smile as brightly as you did with him.

💖Asmodeus:

Surprisingly, he’s another early riser. Though when you really think about it, it isn’t quite that surprising, considering he has a strict self-care routine that CANNOT be broken, lest he wishes to end up with a pimple or even worse... a wrinkle! Which neither are bad if you have them, it’s just for Asmo’s personal tastes for his own appearance, he prefers to have none of them.

Because he cares for you so much, he forces sternly asks that you have the same schedule as he does so he can give you the same love and care as he gives himself. He wants you to look and feel as wonderful as who you are on the inside... but he also loves it when you absolutely SHINE.

Please don’t be mistaken, he doesn’t think you’re ugly or unattractive or any other negative thoughts you might have about yourself, in the least. Not at ALL. He simply wishes to amplify what wonderful assets you already have (to your own tastes, of course) because of that oh so magnificent way you carry yourself when you feel your best.

Want to as pretty as a sunset? He’s got you covered. Want to be as handsome as... well, him? You’re covered there too. Want a little mix of any and everything? Oh please, give him a challenge! Whatever look you wish for, he’s there to help you make it happen.

You just have to take his hand and follow his lead. And his lead requires that you be ‘up and at ‘em’ early enough to go through the self-care routine (that he handpicked things for, according to you and your body’s needs), and eat the proper foods so your body and mind can handle the weight of being the most stunning thing to walk the face of any of the realms... besides him, of course. Also, all of this has to happen before school begins.

Unfortunately, that’s pretty early. There’s a LOT of self-care to-do’s that you two have to go through to ensure maximum amplification.

But because he knows that this can be rather overwhelming and a bit stressful to keep up with all of the time (and stress causes physical and mental harm), he’s always sure to make your mornings as pleasant and stress-free as possible.

He lights one of your favorite candles or incenses, and/or turns one of your favorite slower/softer songs on then climbs into bed and over top of you to begin his trails of kisses from the top of your head, down your face, neck and chest, further down your precious tummy, and stops right at your hips to go back up your body and start again. All of this on repeat as he coos and whispers your name, his soothing voice leading you from your dreams to the waking world. When your eyes meet his, he hums “ahh, my dear, you’ve returned to me.” He moves to kiss your lips as sweetly as he speaks.

He then slips his arms underneath you and lifts you up, as if you were one of Lucifer’s feathers, to carry you bridal style into the bathroom. He’ll then set you down and slowly undress you, taking as much time as you need him to, before helping you into the tub and giving you the gentlest of washes you’ve had since before you can even remember.

He’s the most soothing alarm that’s ever existed.

❤️Beelzebub:

Not really an early riser but he’s also not one to sleep in, either. To sleep in means to miss breakfast, and to miss breakfast is a death sentence for himself and anyone in the way of his next meal.

It also means that he doesn’t get to spend his mornings or share breakfast with you. Another death sentence but this one’s for his heart. Even though he might not say it, being that putting his thoughts and feelings into words is a bit harder than his more comfortable/natural way of simply showing you through his actions, he loves you very, very, VERY much.

This man cares so fucking much for you, he’d give up eating for the rest of his life if it meant you got to have a crumb. But he hopes it doesn’t have to come to that.

The way that Beel shows you that he cares is through food. Eating with you, cooking with you, watching you eat to be sure that you’re getting enough food in your own body, taking his time to eat his food because, now, he’s too busy having wonderful conversations with you, and every and anything in between.

One of his favorite ways is breakfast in bed. You had done it once for him before on one of your anniversaries and ever since then, he’s done it for you in return whenever he got the chance.

On mornings that he had waken up early enough, he’d quietly get up and tiptoe to the kitchen to make both of you a delicious breakfast. If Belphegor was up, on the rarest of rare occasions that he was, he’ll make a little something for him too. He’d put together your favorite foods and beverage while doing the same for himself, draw a cute little heart on a small post-it note and placing it on your side of the tray, tip-toe back up to the room and sets it on the nightstand beside the bed, then moves in close to you to start waking you up. He leans in close and peppers your face in little kisses before moving a little lower to your neck and giving his signature, gentle bite. “MC, honey, wake up. I’ve brought you breakfast.”

Nine times out of ten, you wake up in an instant. When you’ve slept heavily during the night and have a harder time waking up, he plops down onto you gently of course as to not squish you and groans in your ear, nibbling them to remind you of who you’re keeping waiting. “MCCC, pleeeease, I’m hungry. Don’t make me eat yours.”

The warning never fails.

As you two chow down, his dimpled smile never leaves his face nor his eyes on you as he watches you enjoy another morning filled with your favorite things: Beel and Beel’s signature breakfast.

💜Belphegor:

Morning? What the hell is a morning?

Yeah, yeah, he knows what a morning is. He’s had to get up for them too many fucking times to count in order to get to school on time.. or at least try. His attendance is, more or less, nonexistent. He’s just not a morning person.

at ALL.

WHAT. SO. EVER.

The one thing ‘Mr. Sandman’ doesn’t do is wake up or get woken up if the awakener values their life

However... if it is you, his favorite walking and talking pillow, he can’t be that pissed about it. It’s a little more of a smooth transition from being asleep to being awake when you’re the one bringing him there.

So, yes, you’re the one waking him up and it’s never the other way around, but you knew this would be your lot in life the closer you had gotten to him.

And yet, whenever you tried to wake him, he’d simply wrap his arm over you and drag you back down onto the bed as he rolls on top of you, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. “No.” he’d groan in his gravelly morning voice.

What? What did he mean ‘no’ ?! It’s time to get up!!

You’d try your best to to wiggle free but Belphegor is far more stronger than he looks and keeps you pinned down in place. Well... at least it’s comfy.

Wait no, this is his way of coercing you to go back to sleep with him!

Before you can try something else, he plants warm and slow kisses up and down your neck and nibbles at the skin just beneath your ear while whispering in a low tone, “why don’t we just stay here and do something better than go to school?”

Your face heats up and body tenses underneath him. It was not uncommon for him to try this tactic, especially in the morning, so you were fairly used to it but sometimes... sometimes it just does something to you and you’re frozen in place with nothing but his voice to lull you wherever it pleased. Maybe it came with being the Avatar of Sloth? He moves up onto his elbows to deliver his final attack that was his signature, teasing smile in order for him to fully keep you here, in bed, with him and simply enjoy each other’s company while you slept.

Unfortunately for him, this was his mistake and you gained yourself a foothold in pushing him off of you. Getting up from the bed, you look back at him as you straighten your clothes out and fix your hair, saying “Breakfast is in ten minutes,” with a stern voice. You take notice of this and try to sweeten it up to truly convince him. “Be there, won’t you?” you demand more than request, with a signature smile of your very own.

He brings his dropped jaw back up from when you were able to knock him off, and shakes his head as he lightly chuckles. “Whatever you want, MC.” Before you completely walk out of the door, he calls after you. “You owe me!”

You peak back in just enough for him to hear you as you’re closing the door. “No, you owe me.”

[snowbellewells]

Self-Promo Sunday: “A Litter More Than They Bargained For”

Hey there friends and shipmates! I’ve taken a couple of weeks off on the Self-Promo Sunday posts, but I was looking back through some of my older pieces and found this fluffy one shot offering from a couple years ago. (It was part of the amazing @cspupstravaganza event in 2019.) I didn’t make it any cover art before, so I’ve added that to it as well. Taking place sometime post- season six; Hope is present and a toddler, but Henry is still there as well. That makes it canon divergent future fluff, I guess? Apologies if you’ve read this one before, but maybe you’ll get a little smile from revisiting it.

Also available on both AO3 HERE and on ff.net HERE

“A Litter More Than They Bargained For”

One pet she could have handled. One pet would have been perfectly manageable. A single, sweet-natured, reasonably well-behaved small pet - maybe a cat or a rabbit or even a hamster - wouldn’t have really changed anything about their lives in the seaside house or their daily routine that much. In fact, she and Killian had already been discussing a surprise for Hope in the form of a kitten from the litter her mom and dad’s barn cat had recently birthed, completely charming their pre-schooler upon her first visit to them at her grandparents’ farm.

Somehow, instead, all of Emma’s best-laid plans had been inverted and overturned, as so often seemed to happen in their chaotic magical town. When they had gone into the station that particular morning, they had found a large, mud-caked, burr-riddled dog tied to the bike rack and whining pitifully upon first sight of them. Emma was too disgruntled at the culprit for figuring out that their whole three person department were soft touches for strays as she charged foward to untie the poor beast, to even realize that the critter was already rooting into her affection. Needless to say, rather than their intended adoption, they had managed to take in a shaggy, slobbery mixed breed almost as large as a Shetland pony, with at least some Irish Wolfhound in its ancestry, according to the shelter attendant.

Gleefully mimicking that last declaration in her toddler voice, Hope had leaned over out of Killian’s arms to reach for where the huge hound lounged panting on the exam table, tongue lolling and tail thumping happily as she babbled, “Wolfie! Wolfie!” and patted along the dog’s back and shoulders as well as she could.

The thick, scruffy grey fur covering the animal’s lanky form did indeed resemble a wolf to some degree, and Kililan chuckled good naturedly at the easy moniker their daughter had seemingly bestowed. “Well, it would seem our little love has already christened her, Swan,” he commented lightly.

Emma wasn’t fooled by the casual demeanor covering her True Love’s words. She felt her last chance of finding a more suitable home for a dog of that size outside the town limits (preferably with acres for it to run) fade as she realized that her husband, as well as her little girl, was already attached. Killian wanted this dog more than he would admit.

Reaching out to stroke the gentle giant’s head resignedly, Emma reluctantly admitted to herself that the poor stray really was a sweet dog, despite her astonishing proportions and the amount of extra responsibility she herself would no doubt be taking on. “Hear that, Wolfie?” she questioned, looking the dog in the eyes rather than either member of her family, whom she could feel nearly vibrating with excitement beside her, “I guess you’re as good as ours.”

Henry only confirmed the permanence of the decision when he got home from the high school after his editors’ meeting for the school paper. Though a dog had never been something he had particularly asked for - they had spent so many of his growing up years being flung from one realm to another, either trying to rescue some member of their family, or seeking the needed magic item to fight some new villain, that it hadn’t left a lot of time for house training puppies or taking one for leisurely evening strolls. Still, as Henry came up the walk and saw Wolfie stretched out on the porch, Hope cuddled against her side and Emma and Killian curled together on the porch swing, the way her nearly adult son’s face had lit up and he’d rushed forward in excitement had shown Emma that kids didn’t really grow out of loving dogs, no matter their age.

Ruby, or perhaps the irrepressible brunette’s inner wild animal, seemed to find their new addition, and the rather obvious name Hope had latched onto, especially entertaining. Due to Wolfie’s size, the Jones clan now ate outside at the patio tables when they stopped for breakfast on the way to drop Hope off at Ashley Hermann’s Pumpkin Seeds Daycare, and before Henry took off for class and they headed on for the station. Her mother’s best friend didn’t even try to hide the fact that she saved back either bacon, sausage, or ham especially for Emma’s pet each day, laughing when after about a week Wolfie came to her the moment she exited the diner’s front entrance, before she could even reach their table, and began nosing at her pockets for the expected bounty.

However, it was Granny herself who startled them with a matter of fact question about a month after Wolfie had joined their family. The diner’s proprietress had come out to wait on them herself that morning, a real nip in the air as November neared, and explaining that Ruby was lying in for a while after the full moon the night before. Her half-spectacles perched on the very end of her nose, eyes sparkling with every bit as much pep and mischief as her exuberant granddaughter when she neared their table, sleeves rolled up to her elbows despite the chill and a pencil tucked behind one ear.

“The usual, Captain?” Widow Lucas asked with a playful nod to Killian, “or are you and your crew feeling adventurous this morning?” While awaiting their answer, she reached into her apron for her order pad, also pulling out a juicy ham bone for Wolfie.

“Here you are, darlin’ girl,” she continued, bending to offer it to their canine companion, much to Wolfie’s approving delight as she barked a ‘thank you’ and took the treat into her drooling jowls with an almost humorous care, then immediately dropped to hold it between her massive paws and began gnawing away.

When Granny stood to face them again however, a knowing smirk was painted across her face, taking their breakfast order seemingly long forgotten. “You don’t have a clue that dog is carrying a litter of pups, do you?” she asked, shaking her head at what she seemed to think was their dense naivete.

Crossing her arms, Granny watched a variety of reactions cross the four faces before her. Henry looked awed and curious, while Hope practically bounced on Killian’s knee asking, “Puppy? Puppy! We having a puppy?” 

Killian’s brows rose in surprise, and Emma was already shaking her head in disgruntled exasperation. “Really?” she sputtered, narrowly eying the diner owner as if she might be playing some sort of elaborate joke at her expense.

Then, plunking her head down to rest on her arms crossed on the table, she sighed as her daughter contiuned to chortle in delight and Henry and Hook laughed heartily, in spite of their manful efforts to hold back for her sake. “Why am I even surprised?” Emma muttered. “Of course, she is.”

***

From there, they learned that apparently the shelter owner did not have it out for them, but that it can be genuinely hard to tell when a dog is expecting until they are quite close to their due date. It also turned out that Granny’s lupine sixth sense had been right on the money. Within another couple weeks, they could see for themselves that Wolfie’s stomach was rounding and she was nesting in corners throughout the house, particularly favoring the warmth of the laundry room between the dryer and the wall. Seeing as how canine gestation was only eight or nine weeks from start to finish, and their mother-to-be was already showing, it was a bit of a scramble to prepare, knowing the litter of pups would soon be on its way.

As had become typical since Wolfie’s arrival, this too went well beyond what they had expected. On the night they returned from Hope’s Thanksgiving Play at the preschool to tiny yips and whimpers greeting them the second the door opened, the entire Jones family was stunned to discover eight small wriggling bodies jostling for place against Wolfie’s exhausted form where she lay curled into the mound of old blankets and towels they had created for her once her fixation on her laundry room nest become plain. Various rather wetly bedraggled and squirming balls of grey, black, white and mottled mixes of those three colors in coat greeted their eyes, prompting Killian to comment rather drily, “Well, now there are nearly enough of us to crew a pirate ship.” He chuckled, shaking his head, as he added, “Mayhap we can give them proper nautical names this time, rather than letting Hope call them the first word that pops from her mouth.”

“Paaa-pa!” their daughter protested indignantly, stomping her little foot on the linoleum tile and placing chubby fists on her hips. “I did not!” In her two braids, beaded headband, and fringed brown “Indian” dress from the play, she made more an adorable than a threatening sight as she intended, but Killian nodded to their daughter dutifully all the same. “My apologies, little lass. Of course you didn’t. I must have been mistaken.”

Emma rolled her eyes and shook her head at his mannered playfulness with Hope, though her heart warmed inside her as well, loving that their little girl had never known anything but a devoted, adoring, present father, who might have to be pulled back from spoiling Hope at times, but would never let her down or abandon her. The two of them could melt her every defense, just as Henry had always done. Even if it did sometimes leave her trying to be the voice of reason, Emma didn’t truly mind.

Henry, for his part, snorted inelegantly at their nonsense, crouching to pet a nervous-looking Wolfie on the head and scritch under her chin the way she liked. “Don’t worry, girl,” he mumured soothingly. “We won’t hurt them. You’re all safe here.”

Her son grew thoughtful for a moment, mulling something over, then looked up when he asked excitedly. “What if we did pick nautical names for them all? Like Jack and Jib and Scurvy?” He was grinning from ear-to-ear now, as his Author’s love of wordplay awakened - an expression Killian quickly mirrored.

“Aye, lad, those are great! And perhaps Scoundrel and Buccaneer as well?”

“Hey, hey, guys,” Emma broke in, trying to stop their now-steaming train before they got any more carried away. “Let’s not get too into naming them. The families who adopt them may not be looking for pirate dogs.”

But her husband and son were already on a roll, adding Barrie (in a nod to the Englishman who had created Killian’s literary counterpart) and Doubloon to the list of potential puppy monikers, and not paying her words the slightest bit of attention.

***

Finding homes for their doggie brood proved more difficult than Emma had hoped. If nothing else, it had worked out that they were being weaned just in time to join a family for the perfect child’s Christmas present. And, much as she had intended for them to have a quiet little tabby kitten padding after her through the house rather than a train of panting, yipping, running and tumbling balls of shedding fluff, the pups were sweet and incredibly cute. So she couldn’t understand how every time she thought she had someone poised to take one home, it fell through at the last moment.

With a sigh, she turned away from the sidewalk where old lady Hubbard was walking away. Still cradling Cutlass and Matey to her chest, one in each arm, Emma crossed the porch to sink onto the porch swing with a dejected air. She bent to press a kiss into each of their soft, fuzzy foreheads, murmuring what good babies they were and that it wasn’t their fault. Intellectually, Emma knew it was rather ridiculous to be trying to comfort two puppies who were now playfully rolling and tumbling in her lap, not the least bit concerned at the interview’s outcome. They really had been particularly good as their potential new owner had arrived to meet them; sitting calmly without barking or jumping up, sweetly licking the elderly woman’s fingers affectionately when she offered them, and looking even more adorable than usual with their coats freshly bathed and brushed, so black and silky that their fur nearly shone. All their neighbor had seemed able to focus on though was that they might get under her feet and cause her to fall. When Emma had spoken to her before, the older lady had seemed so anxious for some company now that the last of her many children had left the house, but once she had arrived to see the puppies, all she kept saying was, “I’m all alone out there. If I fell, I might lie for days, unable to get up, and no one would know.”

Emma shrugged her shoulders and ruffled the pups’ fur once again; annoyed, but not sure what to make of the situation. Standing, she was about to take the two little rascals back inside when Killian arrived home for the evening.

“They’re both still here?” he asked curiously, one eyebrow arched in question.

Something niggled at the back of Emma’s mind with his question, whispering that he didn’t seem especially suprised. Shaking her head in silent answer, Emma ushered man and dogs back into the house and headed toward the kitchen, where she still had all of the dog dishes to fill.

“Ah well, Love,” Killian replied, something about his voice just a shade too nonchalant. “Perhaps it’s for the best. As energetic as these scalliwags sometimes get,” he laughed and scratched Matey’s belly when she rolled over to bare it in supplication, “they might have proven a walking hazard to one of advanced years.”

Emma was about to question him further, shocked that Killian had hit on exactly what had stopped the potential adoption, but at that moment Wolfie and the other six of her offspring burst into the kitchen and set up a chorus of barks and howls for their dinner, toenails clicking on the floor and tails thunking against the cabinets. So it wasn’t until later that night, as she was speaking to her mother on the phone, bemoaning yet one more failed attempt at finding the pups permanent homes, that the niggling puzzle piece at last slid into place.

“Well,” Snow offered hesitantly, “I’m sorry it fell through, Sweetie, but you know Mrs. Hubbard isn’t all that steady on her feet these days…”

Suddenly, it all added up: Mrs. Hubbard’s unexpected concern with puppies tripping her up around the house, how Ashley had at first thought they might take one of the puppies, only to be convinced by someone that mice would be much more fitting for class pets at Cinderella’s daycare, and how Aurora and Philip’s second child, Hope’s little friend Rory, had suddenly decided she wanted a white Persian kitten whose hair she could put a pink bow in, “like ‘Rie from ‘Ristocats” Aurora had explained in her daughter’s own words when she’d called to tell Emma.

“Oh my word!” Emma shouted, startling her husband, kids, and the pile of dogs sprawled over them in the living room where they were watching tv. “It was you all, wasn’t it? My whole family has been working against me this entire time!”

Looking sheepishly guilty, Killian and Henry both wordlessly shook their heads in denial. Her mother floundered for a defense for a few seconds and then simply fled by ending the call. But when Emma’s eyes came to rest on her daughter, Hope merely grinned widely, a shameless glint of mischief in her green eyes, and nodded her head in confirmation.

“Why?” Emma sputtered.

“Then the puppies are all ours!” her toddler chirped happily, falling back against Wolfie’s shoulder with a giggle, to which Wolfie merely huffed at the impact, then nosed Hope a bit further from the edge of the couch, as if she had one extra pup to watch out for and was making sure the child didn’t fall.

“We’ll see about that,” Emma grumbled, staring each of them down in turn. But, when she flopped down on the armchair in the corner, trying to hold onto her righteous indignation, and Scoundrel came over to check on her, pawing at her leg until she picked him up, and then nudging his grey snout flecked with white patches into her armpit as he stretched out across her chest and promptly fell asleep, Emma was smart enough to know when she had lost the fight.

They were the family with nine dogs now - an entire seaworthy crew.

Tagging a few who may enjoy (or enjoy again!): @searchingwardrobes @kmomof4 @jennjenn615 @thisonesatellite @artistic-writer @hollyethecurious @whimsicallyenchantedrose @laschatzi @thislassishooked @therooksshiningknight @spartanguard @shireness-says @ohmightydevviepuu @ohmakemeahercules @scientificapricot @gingerchangeling @teamhook @revanmeetra87@resident-of-storybrooke @elizabeethan @tiganasummertree @optomisticgirl @stahlop @lfh1226-linda @xsajx @donteattheappleshook @darkcolinodonorgasm @winterbaby89

[imnotwolverine]

LOVE IS LIKE - Women and Wine

< PART 2 | PART 3 Women and Wine

Summary: Things don’t always go as planned. But Henry has learned that’s quite alright. If anything, it may just make you closer to loved ones. Also, the banana sock wearing princess is her clumsy-as-ever self. 

Word count: 2.178

Disclaimer: Breakup, teenage insecurity, fluff and wet dicks. I mean. In the fluffy awkward sense of the word. 

--

LOVE IS LIKE - Women and Wine

--

‘So far for an outdoor date.’ Aurora scrunched up her nose and looked down at Kal who didn’t pay any mind to the drizzle, nose sniffling through some bushes.

‘Sorry..’ Henry pouted, making her laugh.

‘You know, my apartment isn’t far from here. We can dry off, have some tea? I mean..’ She hesitated, looking back to Henry who got a particularly large drop of rain in his eye.

‘Mmpfff.’ He groaned, wiping furiously at his eye.

‘OH! Are you alright?’

Kal looked up and Henry chuckled. ‘So your initial reservations of not wanting to meet at someone’s place are...gone?’

She shrugged. ‘Drastic times, drastic measures. Come on!’

Kal yapped in agreement and Aurora laughed heartily, the heaven’s cold tears of rainwater not bothering her one bit.

‘Why..?’ The woman who had once kept his heart sobbed, thick tears rolling down her sweet cheeks. Henry swallowed as he clutched her hand a little tighter, her whole body shaking with agony. With every tear on her face he was less sure if he made the right decision.

‘Why don’t you love me?’ Her wine-red lip trembled. ‘Did I..’ She sniffed and burst into another onslaught of tears. Henry sighed quietly. Why did love have to be so hard? With a quick glance he looked at Kal who was lying in the corner of the living room, careful eyes looking back at his owner after he had been told off by the woman - the two had never quite gotten along.

Perhaps that had been a sign.

Henry waited for his mom to pick up the phone. It was Sunday, it was raining in London and he had nothing better to do then..

‘Hello dear.’

‘H-hi mom.’ Henry quickly clicked back to the flower webshop on his browser.

‘Are you alright dear?’

Henry laughed - even after all these years his mother was straight to business when her children called. ‘Mommm…’

‘What?! You never call so early in the day. I can remember the days when you called every hour of..-’

‘Mom, I’m fine.’

‘Alright alright. So there’s nothing the matter?’

‘Nothing. Or well, I just wanted to check if you’re home on Thursday, so your package won’t get lost like last time.’

‘Oh.. OH! Mother’s day. Henry sweetie. You know you don’t have to buy me flowers every year.’

‘And yet I do it anyway, mom.’

Marianne laughed before the line crackled, her voice hushed as she spoke to someone else - probably his father. ‘Alright. Oh! You are too good for me! Also, Colin’s at home. I’m picking up Nick’s cat, since they’re going on a holiday. So no lillies please!’

‘Noted.’ Henry stared at the pictured bouquet on his screen and smiled. 100 roses. ‘No lilies, got it.’

With a confirmative nod he pressed “order”.  

‘And say hi to dad for me!’

Awkwardly tugging at the far too tight and strange looking noose of a knot around his neck, young Henry waited for his father to answer his phone. Nerves were tickling his loins and the more he looked back at the reflection in the mirror, the redder he seemed to get. He had seen his father tie a tie a million times, and yet doing it himself left him suffocating and disappointed in his own abilities.

‘Henry boy.’ His father’s low voice crackled through the bad phone line. He was probably abroad right now.

‘Pa..’ Henry tugged at the tight material around his slim neck.

‘How’s it hanging, hmm?’ -- Colin tried his best to stay hip and cool, but it only made conversations between him and his sons more awkward. Henry silently rolled his eyes.

‘Ehm…’ He cleared his throat, wishing that for once his voice wouldn’t get pitchy mid-sentence. ‘I--’ He pulled at his tie again and managed to let the knot slide out like it had never been there at all. ‘I need your help dad.’

‘Something the matter? Henry, you know you can ask Mr. Mindel for help.’

‘Yea well..eh..I want to learn it myself.’ He squared his shoulders as he looked at his mirror reflection again.

‘And what is..”it” exactly?’ A mix of mirth and pride was heard in his father’s voice.

‘A tie. I’m..I’m trying to get this stupid thing on and ..’ Henry voice got pitchy and unleveled again and he groaned in annoyance.

Colin chuckled and hushed his teenage son. ‘Alright alright. First step..’

With a trained tug at the knot, Henry released the silk tie from his neck. Perhaps it had been a bit over-the-top to wear a suit and tie when going out for lunch and walk Kal with Aurora. But Henry just couldn’t help himself. These clothes just made him feel powerful and secure. Like a modern day armor, shining, sleek and - right now - also terribly uncomfortable and wet.

They had been caught by one of London’s infamous rain showers and had been soaked to the bone. Suit included.

Removing his tie, Henry let his eyes glide over Aurora’s cosy but luxurious apartment, Kal trotting behind Aurora as she ducked into one of the closets in the hallway to fetch some fresh towels.

‘You want one as well, hmm?’

Henry looked up and noted that she wasn’t talking to him, but Kal, the dog happily wagging his tail as he pushed his nose in the fresh towels in her hands. She laughed.

‘Alright then.’ With a quick swoop she pulled another towel from the closet before bumping it closed with her hip, offering one of the towels to Henry who accepted it graciously.

‘Shall I see if there’s some clean clothes that ..fit...you?’ She looked him up and down, obviously unsure whether ANYTHING would fit the colossal form of bulking muscle that was Henry. Henry shrugged.

‘I’ll keep this on if you don’t. Don’t worry.’ He smirked perhaps a bit too temptingly.

They both laughed and Aurora turned around before he could see the blush on her smiling cheeks.

Left alone in the hallway, Henry dried his face and hair, removed his jacket and sauntered over to the living area, which reminded him in a strange way of the 70s decor of some other woman’s home. Letting his eyes glide over the furniture he smiled; large leather couch with a bounty of pillows, Pilea pancake plants, the tiniest tv he probably had seen in his long life and then on the long wall on his right, one absolutely hu-freaking-mongous bookcase.

Turning his attention to said bookcase, he let his eyes roam over the more empty shelves, finding a book he knew well; it once had been his. But there was also her copy. The berry juice ruined one. King Arthur and His Knights. With curiosity Henry opened her berry ruined book, not sure what to find there other than exactly the same exact text. His eye fell on the personal note that was scribbled on the inside. Apparently it had been gifted to her.

‘To the woman who “doesn’t need no knights in shining armour”. Andy.’

‘I eh..oh!’ Aurora shrivelled away as she found Henry. Henry quickly shut the cover of the book, near stumbling back as he tried to apologise for snooping around.

‘I’m sorr-’

‘Sorry!’ She looked away. 

‘No I’M sorry, truly.’

‘No.’ Aurora shook her head and her voice sounded terribly queasy. ‘I’m sorry. Here. Hope it fits.’ She pushed a pile of what looked like a white shirt and jogging pants in Henry’s arms with a quick little glance in Henry’s blue eyes.

Did he fuck it up? Looking with a pained expression at the soft white and grey fabrics in his hands he sighed, forgetting all about his wet clothes and the way a little stream of water was running straight into his butt crack right this instant.

‘I didn’t mean to..snoop.’ He tried, but Aurora shied away even further, making a clear demonstration of turning away from Henry.

‘Aurora? Will you forgive me please?’

Aurora nodded with her head still firmly turned away.

‘Will you at least look at me?’

And then, with the slowest of head turns in human history, one beet red head looked back at him, lips biting to keep a chuckle at bay. Henry frowned, before realising that he had completely, utterly miscalculated the situation. She was not mad at him, she was.. With a slight slip Aurora’s eyes moved back down - before quickly shooting back up and away. So that was it huh? She was trying to look anywhere but to the very clear outline of his …

Dick.

--

So this is why men don’t partake in wet T-shirt contests.

‘Oh my gods!!--’

‘It’s like sugar--’

‘TURN IT OFF.’

‘So sweet.’

‘HEN.’

‘Good enough..’

‘HENRY.’

‘..to eat.’

Grumbling a hand appeared from beneath the fluffed up blankets, searching blindly for the phone that was blaring out happy tunes into the dark bedroom. In the background a shower was heard, Henry totally oblivious to his very displeased bedbug.

Turning off the hot stream of water, Henry wrapped himself in a towel, hair dripping wet as he brushed a hand over his cheek to check if it could do for the moment. Geralt could have a little stubble right? He grinned at himself in the mirror and made for the bedroom, silent feet padding to reach for his gym gear like he did every morning.

‘Baaaabeeeeeee.’ A groggy voice that in no way fit his pretty girlfriend erupted from the sheets. Henry halted his tiptoeing.

‘Your phoneeeeeee.’

‘OH! oh.. Sorry.’ Henry bit his lip as the groggy voice mimicked in horrid echo:

‘All I wanna do is get ye

Body next to mineeee.’

Henry chuckled as the sheets folded back a little so a grabby hand could reach for him.

‘Haha..oh why love, I’m WET.’

‘AS AM I. Now get in here.’ The blindly grabbing hand searched like a needy worm for anything it could attach to, making Henry chuckle even harder.

She truly was atrociously cute in the morning. With a quick flip of the hand he managed to slip back under, making the room echo with a loud squirming squeak.

‘HENRY.. YOu!’

The both of them laughed.

With a little kick in his step Henry stepped into his parent’s kitchen, the rural stone tiled room filled with the smell of fresh baking pastry and female chatter.

‘A rose..’ He pulled one of his hidden away hands from behind his back to offer a rose to his mother. ‘For my dear mom.’

Marianne chuckled and rolled her eyes at Henry’s antics, before smiling even wider when the other hand served an even prettier rose to the brunette with the princess name. Aurora snorted out with laughter.

‘YOU DORK!’

Henry gasped in mock-hurt and grasped for his chest. ‘My heart, my love! Why must thee hurt it so.’

Aurora stepped in and pressed a little kiss on Henry’s pouting lips. ‘For love cometh of the heart and not by constraint.’ She smiled and smelled the rose ‘..for love is free.’

Marianne chuckled. ‘Well it’s from the garden, so I guess it’s free. Can you call your dad for me? Lunch is almost ready.’

‘Why of course I can mother dear!’

Marianne widened her eyes, urging him to move on. Henry laughed and winked at Aurora before he made his way to the back of the house.

‘These men of ours. They wouldn’t know what to do without us.’

Aurora leaned into the kitchen counter and smiled. ‘It takes a lot to make a man. Tis true. But I do think Henry is a man enough on his own.’

‘You do?’

‘You raised him well you -- all of you did.’

‘Two books?’ Aurora frowned as she pulled the books from their pretty packaging. Henry was beaming with a smile from ear to ear.

‘The same exact..books?’

Henry nodded eagerly.

‘Hen..I know I might be a little clumsy, but…’

‘Nooo no. I thought..’ He scooted a little closer to her on the couch, making Kal grumble who had just found the perfect spot atop Henry’s feet. ‘I thought we could read together. On the plane? It’s a long way to Canada.’

Aurora flipped open the cover of the book on top, shrugging that Henry might have a point, before letting her eyes roam over the little note written in the inside of the cover page.

‘Careful with that berry juice, princess. x. Henry’

‘Youuu…’ Aurora moved to jab at Henry, but he managed to reflect her hand with practised ease.

‘Me?’ He grinned.  

‘Oh yes you.’

‘What about me?’ His smile grew wider.

Aurora shook her head then sighed in defeat. ‘Alright then. You win.’

‘I win?’ Henry acted overly victorious and smug.

Aurora’s smile melted away. ‘I..’ She swallowed. ‘-I think I love you. I wanted to say it when I meant it an--’

Henry’s smile dropped as well, eyes widening.

‘You..? You mean..’

‘You have to kiss me now okay? I mean..that’s what princes do when..--’

Henry didn’t skip a beat. 

And good gods did they kiss a lot. 

--

Also: good gods, who in their right minds places red wine on the edge of the couch seating with a pristine looking book like that nearby? Let’s just say the plane ride to Canada only had one copy of Pride & Prejudice - The Illustrated Edition on-board. 

--

End. 

--

General tagsquad: @harrysthiccthighss​ @tumblnewby @magdelen69​ @thereisa8ella​ @darkbooksarwin​ @summersong69​ @madbaddic7ed​ @luclittlepond​ @maroonmolly @just-a-normal-fangirl18​ @hell1129-blog​ @agniavateira​ @tillthelandslide​ @elinesama​ @maddyreads14​

@beck07990

[kasdeyathebitterwoman]

Hi! Just wondering if you can do a one shot or something of the reader that is a frontline worker during the pandemic and after a tiring day they come home and they started crying because of all the stress of their work and worrying about their families and Henry and maybe Kal as well comforts them in the best way they can. Please and thank you! Stay safe and have a great day! 😊💕

Hi love! I’m so sorry for how long this took me to get to, but I hope this did your request justice! 

CW: talking about the pandemic, stress, pandemic related stress, crying, exhaustion

The words got a little away from me, so everything is under the cut 😊

By some miracle, you had made it home. The drive from the hospital to the house was a blur and you honestly couldn’t even remember if your shift was technically over. All you could remember was sitting down in a chair and then someone telling you to go home. So you did. With all the energy you had left, which wasn’t much, you dragged yourself out of your car and up the drive. 

The house inside is quiet. Your fiance, Henry, must be out with his Akita, Kal. Silently, spray down your keys and phone with the sanitizer on the table by the door. Then you shuffle down the hall to the guest bathroom where you’ve been showering and sleeping during your breaks. On the counter, you find a stack of your clothes. Henry must have put them out for you after your last break. Running your hand against the soft fabric, you feel part of your resolve starting to break. You suck in a sharp breath and immediately lunge for the shower. Turning the handle, water begins pouring down as steam fills the small space. 

After stripping your clothes and putting them in a garment bag, all to be washed later, you step into the shower. The instant the hot water hits your skin, goosebumps begin to prickle your skin. You duck your head under the stream, feeling the warmth move down your body. With sluggish movements, you eventually scrub your whole body from head to toe. Once you’re done, you turn the water off, dry off, toss the towel with the clothes to be cleaned, and slip on the clothes that wait for you. Before the pandemic started, you made attempts to style your hair in some form or fashion, but these days you were content to tie it up and leave it. 

Exhausted, you stumble to the kitchen to grab a bottle of water. That’s where you find Henry and Kal. They must have returned while you were in the shower. Kal is the first to notice you as he struggles to push himself up on the hardwood. Henry chuckles at him until he sees you standing the doorway. 

“There she is!” he declares, a beaming grin splitting his gorgeous face. He strides over and in less than a second, you are wrapped in his arms while your face is smashed against his firm chest. You wrap your arms around his thick waist and hold on for a moment. He smells like vanilla and sweat and if you turn your head slightly, you can hear his heartbeat. Before you can even wrap your mind around what is happening, you are crying. No, it’s worse than that. You are bawling like a child in your fiance’s arms. “Hey, hey,” Henry murmurs, low and husky. He tries to pull back to look you in the face, but you are clinging to him tighter than ever. 

It was like the moment you felt his touch, your entire resolve fell apart. You pull your hands from around his waist and cover your face. “I’m sorry,” you sob as the weight of the world comes crashing down on your shoulders. Henry is quick to action, helping you to the bench at the table. “I’m sorry,” you repeat, trying and failing to get yourself together. Henry says nothing, just shushes you. As you sit there, you feel a soft weight on your lap. Peering through your fingers, you see Kal’s massive, fluffy head resting on your thighs. You let out a small chuckle that causes his eyebrows to wiggle slightly. 

You look up at Henry. He’s crouching in front of you, looking up with those blue eyes you love so much. There’s fear and concern swimming in them and sends a fresh wave of guilt over you. “Baby, what’s wrong?” he murmurs. 

“I’m just tired,” you reply. The concern on Henry’s face forces deeper lines around his eyes. 

“I know,” he says and it’s like a switch. You know that he meant well, but the fire has been set and you can’t stop. 

“No, I’m sorry, but you don’t know Henry,” you begin, feeling the guilt in every bone. “I love what I do and why I do it, but these days it’s getting really hard to find the good in the bad. People come in every single day demanding answers that we just don’t have. No one wears a mask, everyone is suddenly a doctor,” you pause to take a shuddering breath. “We work so hard to keep people safe. We wash our hands until they are cracked and bleeding. We essentially wear hazmat suits to protect everyone. We don’t sleep, we don’t eat, and yet somehow everything is all my fault while not my problem, all at the same time.” you add with a huff. You look back at Henry’s eyes and a fresh wave of sadness extinguishes the fire. “I haven’t seen my family in months. I know I talk to them on the phone, but it’s not the same,” you cry and Henry nods a little. “I only see you for a few hours every four days. We were supposed to get married in a few months and we’re clearly not and I just, I just,” you try to finish your thought, but you can’t. You just start sobbing again. 

Henry immediately picks you up from the bench and carries you up the stairs to the bedroom. Silently, he tried to set you down on the bed, but you cling to him so tightly, he just lays down with you. His arms are wrapped around you tight, protective. One hand rests on your back while the other pulls out the hair tie and strokes your flowing locks gently. He alternates between shushing you when you sob and murmuring sweet words. You fall asleep after however long it takes for you to cry all of that out of your system. 

When you wake later, you’re in the empty bed. Clearly, Henry had slept on the other side, but he wasn’t there at the moment. Groggy, you stumble down the stairs to find him and Kal in the kitchen yet again. Henry says nothing when he sees you. He just sets what he’s doing down and pours you a large cup of coffee. As he hands it to you, he leans down, kissing you sweetly. 

“How are you feeling?” he asks, stepping back to the counter. 

“Like I cried myself to sleep,” you joke. Henry chuckles and glances at you over his shoulder. 

“Well, you ended up sleeping for thirteen hours,” he tells you. That’s not surprising, you were dog tired. “Hopefully, this will start to improve things,” he says, walking toward you. In front of you is a plate and Henry dishes out your favorite breakfast. As you sit there, you notice the vase of roses nearby, the small box wrapped in ribbon, and other little trinkets. Kal moseys over, placing his large head in your lap again. You smile as you stroke the fur around his ears. His tongue comes out to lick your hand as he peacefully sits with you. 

Henry sits down on the ben opposite you, smiling to himself at the scene in front of him. When you look up at him, his blue eyes bore into you. “So, I was supposed to go into work tomorrow, but,” he pauses, the smirk on his lips growing a little wider. “I have asked for the weekend to myself. Which means I don’t have to be anywhere but here until Monday,” he tells you. Immediately, your eyebrows shoot up and your heart jumps to your throat. 

“Henry, no,” you try to say, but his hands are already up and his head is shaking. 

“No, no, I won’t hear it,” he says firmly. “I want to do this. Kal and I both want to do this,” he adds. You smile down at the large, bear-like dog, peacefully protecting you while you sat there. “You do so many selfless things for others, it’s incredible, but it’s time someone took care of super-woman.” You can stop the tears that are silently flowing down your cheek. A few hit Kal on the nose, causing him to jump back from you in surprise. It makes you giggle and smile. “Right, now, eat up. You’ve got a long day of resting, napping, and just general binging - basically everything Kal does while on guard duty,” Henry declares, pushing the bench back from the table. “He might even teach you how to fake snore!” he adds. You snort loudly, tipping your head back to laugh. It’s the first time you’ve truly laughed at something in weeks and god, it felt good. Things still weren’t great, and they probably wouldn’t be for a while, but right here and now, things were good. And that was all that you needed. 

[shadowtearling]

Hello. May i request you to suggest me a book that's very engaging to read? The likes of where i'll get lost it in while reading? Anything but romance is okay. I've been very stressed lately and i need something to distract myself. If you don't want to though, thats okay :3 Thank you for your time!

if you want fantasy books

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo - Six criminals team up for a heist job that’s bound to make them richer than they could imagine. a real fun time. may include murder. definitely has a scheming face, a cool crow cane i wish i had when i had walking problems, and angst.

The Queen of the Tearling by Erika Johansen - a regressed futuristic society with a girl who tries to take back her throne from her terrible uncle. it’s a stressful roadtrip that includes murderous falcons and their murderous owners. there’s time traveling, matching jewelry, and certain doom.

A Natural History of Dragons by Marie Brennan - set in a fantasy world that feels like Victorian London, this is about a girl/woman who is obsessed with dragons and this is her very true account of her encounters with all of them during her lifetime. there’s dragons. what more could you want? it reads like a memoir/anthropology book.

His Majesty’s Dragon by Naomi Novik - if you wanted dragons but also war, this might be better for you. there’s dragon school and a very impatient young dragon who loves reading. (set during the Napoleonic wars)

The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco - an unsuspecting girl accidentally brings her brother back from the dead. very slow and heavy on worldbuilding. also lots of dead rats.

The Reader by Traci Chee - did you want to read a book about a place where books don’t exist? the protagonist tries to teach herself how to read. there’s magic. also pirates. and murder boys.

or did you want sci-fi?

Illuminae by Amie Kaufman & Jay Kristoff - everything in this book is a file of some sort whether it’s an article, chat log, video surveillance, or some fancy word art ~graphic design is my passion~esque. includes an “evil” (some say morally grey) AI and lots of exploding space ships. also death.

Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore - read this and exclaim “what the fuck” several times throughout the process. in which jane tries to unlock the secrets of this weird mansion on an island while making umbrellas.

Binti by Nnedi Okorafor - the first human to attend a prestigious alien university. a weird blob friend. spaceship invasion. death. diplomacy.

do you want something atmospheric?

Uprooted by Naomi Novik - very loosely a beauty & the beast retelling, there’s an evil forest literally trying to devour villages whole because they’re angry. relatable.

Spinning Silver by Naomi Novik - a rumpelstiltskin retelling, this is instead about how winter really just sucks the life out of you. seasonal depression all year long because winter extended all the way to summer. includes a fire demon hungry for ice. also has a stubborn Jewish girl who will not let the faerie king make a fool of her.

did you want something creepy? perfect for the holiday season

The Diviners by Libba Bray - in which a serial killer is on the loose in 1920s new york, his name’s naughty john and he will tell you how he murders people. also a girl named evie who can ~see things~ when she touches murdered people’s things

or maybe something funny?

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice & Virtue by Mackenzi Lee - a bisexual man travels with his best friend and sister all across europe and gets into shenanigans that could get them killed. there’s some kissing and pirates.

My Lady Jane by Cynthia Hand, Brodi Ashton, & Jodi Meadows - the story of Lady Jane Grey who was queen for nine days. includes a man who turns into a horse. king henry viii turned into a bear.

may i suggest graphic novels?

Saga by Brian K. Vaughn & Fiona Staples - space! a family running away from the government! aliens! (warning for graphic content like nudity/violence)

Heavy Vinyl by Carly Usdin & Nina Vakueva - set in a 1990s vinyl store, there’s a group of girls who sell music by day and solve crime by night. fluffy and lighthearted and Gay

Chew by John Layman & Rob Guillory - chicken is banned (chik-fil-a was not happy). a guy can get psychic impressions from anything he eats (how it lived/died), so obviously he eats very dead humans to solve their murder case. (he also ate a very dead dog)