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saltyfrieswhywontandusernamework · 4 years

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Anna West was a normal- well average young woman. I was the First and BEST female mechanic in town. I just got back from fixing her friend Genreals car. And I noticed someone standing in front of my cousin Skys Bakery. "It smells good right,? Tastes the part too!" I says popping up behind the short person. They jumped at My sudden appearance. They seemed to take in my appearence. "Hello there! I didn't see you there." They say. I laughed this person was definetly new. "Well, that means your are new in town as there's barely a person that doesn't know of Anna West!" I say proudly. "Hello Anna, I am Deer and as you said, I am new in town!"

"Knew It!" I say clapping my hands

"If you don't mind me asking, why isn't there a person in town that doesn't know you?" Deer asks

"Not only am I the first female mechanic in town, I am also the best!" I say

"Really!?" They say amazed

"Absolutely!" I say nodding.

There was a short silence that was ened by Deer when they asked: "So why are you here at the bakery?"

I smiled before answering, "My cousin owns this place! She is the best baker in town! I love all of her honey-based pastries, which is all of them!" I say giving her the reason behind the name.

We stood in silence which was broke by the sweet voice of my cousin Sky Moone saying: "I see you brough someone with you, Anna!" Sky was a short woman with blonde hair tied into a low bun. She wore a white dress shirt and a navy blue, knee length skirt. She also wore a bee pin on the shirt, white stockings, and black shoes. She wore her wedding ring as well.

"Hello there!" She said walking over to us, "I am Sky Moone, and I am the owner of this bakery."

"Hi! I am Deer!"

"What brings you here to Bee-lightful?" Sky asked giving Deer a sweet smile.

"Oh, I was hoping to get something for Lily Rust." Deer says. Sky smiled recognizing the name. I wasn't suprised everyone knew and liked Sky, it was a small town afterall.

"Oh! I know her! She always comes on Sundays for the special!" Sky says clapping her hands and giving us a gentle smile. You want to know the Sunday special? Well you see for every day of the week there is a special for that day. Sunday- Honey Bee Cupcakes, Monday- Honey Muffins, Tuesday- Honey Bee Cookies, Wensday- Honey Donuts, Thursday- Honey Beignets, Friday- Honey Roll, Saturday- Honey Cake.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when Deer says: "Well, can I have the special? I want to bring her something special." Deer says smiling.

"Of course! And Anna, do you want the usual?" She asks me.

"Sure thing, cuz!" I say giving her a thumbs up.

Sky gave us her usual gentle smile and walked to the back of the bakery. The two of us sat in silence. I thought about visiting my friend Dead afterwards. I was brought back to reality when I saw Sky had returned with a box of pastries. Deer smiled at her in return. "Thank you so much!" Dear said, "And how much will that be?"

"It will be 5 dollars!"

Deer handed the money over to my cousin and takes the box from SKy. They were waving goodbye when I yelled: "HEY DEER!"

They turned around and looked at me. I smiled before saying, "If you are nervous, don't be afraid to come to us. You have to remember that nothing bad happens in this town!"

They smiled once more. "Thank you!" They say before closing the door.

"Anna I'm going to go get my mail, would you like to accompany me?" Sky asks me. "Of course!" I say as we walk out the door. "We should do some clothes shopping, I've been thinking about getting a new dress." Sky says as we walked on the gravel path. When we got to the mail box, Sky picked it up and we walked back. When we got back she looked through each and every letter before stopping at one. I knew just from her face it was from her Wife, Abi Moone. Abi was a writer who was currently overseas. She opened it delicately like it was a fragile piece of glass. As she read it her smile grew and she blushed a bit. I looked over her shoulder and read the letter.

My Dearest, Sky

How are you dear? I hope the bakery isn't to much work by yourself! I myself am doing wonderful but alas, Paris would be so much lovelier if you were here beside me, The beauty of this city an not compare to your angelic looks. I've been getting so many ideas for my books! Paris is truley an amazing city. But my dear no place could be better than being with you my love. For I am waiting day and night for when I can hold you in my arms again. I will most definetly bring you a recipe for macarons.

With most Love,

Abi Moone

"Aw how cute!" I say. Sky giggled. "Well I'm going to go visit Dead!" I say. "Bye Sky!" I say walking out the door. I walked through the town seeing so many people I knew. I see Deads house and walk to the front porch and knock on the door. The door opens and I see Dead, "Anna! Its so wonderful to see you!" She says hugging me. "Its great to see you as well!" I exclaim smiling at her. She lets me in and we walk to her library. I sat on the Velvet couch and she sat in the armchair she had a notepad and a pencil. "Any new stories to share?" She askes me her eyes sparkling with intrest. "Yup!" I say popping the "p". "A few days ago I was swimming in Hellen lake when a croc came by and tried attacking me, So I wrestled him and swam off." I say proudly. "I'm not suprised you did." Dead says snorting. "Oh yeah! I also threw a dictionary at my enemy when they said "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." I then yelled "HOWS THAT FOR WORDS HURTING YOU DUMBASS!" Sky bailed me out." I shrug. Dead laughed "I mean you proved that they're sentence was incorrect!" She says laughing. "How does Sky even have the money to bail you out still?" She asks wiping a fake tear from her eye. "Skys wife is a famous writer and poet but more famous as a poet, With her most famous Poem being Angel that is my Wife." I say. "Oh! Right forgot!" Dead says rubbing the back of her head. "Its Okay Dead." I say smiling at her.

Later

Dead and I were walking to the bakery mainly because Dead and I were chaotic so Sky would be worried if we did something stupid. Since I'm a total dumbass that is really fucking hard. Sky was sweeping the shop while listening to music, She was always a good singer. "Hey cuz!", I say "Dead is gonna stay over because were writing a story!" I say. Sky gives us both a sweet smile. "Of course he can stay! Have you two eaten?" She asks. "No but it o-" Dead starts before Skys eyes widen. "Oh dear! You need food to stay strong and healthy you two! I'll cook something up right away!" She says panicked she ran to the kitchen. Her house is also her bakery and I live here to sometimes. "Shes such a innocent bean...." Dead sighs smiling. "Don't underestimate her thoough, she'd make a terrifying leader." I say. "Anyways lets go to the roof!" I say. The roof was covered by a glass dome, it was basically a relaxing place. I took out our writing tools and sat down. "Ok so what about a story where kingdoms exist and etc!" Dead says. We talked for 20 minutes when Sky yelled: "Dinner is ready you two!"

After eating Sky led us to my room and a guest bedroom. "Make yourselves at home!" She says flashing a smile. "Thank you Ms.Moone!" Dead says. "Dead I've told you before, please just call me Sky!" Sky says. "Right sorry!" Dead apolgizes. "Its ok!" Sky says. "Anyways its 10pm you should both head to bed." Sky says. "Goodnight!"I say walking to my room and laying on my soft bed before lulling slowly to sleep

@skyliecrescents @the-undead-writer-and-artist @theundertalehuman @cd-a-deer @lowkeyjustvibing

#town of suwali #town of salem #Anna West #Sky Moone #Anna is a florida woman #Bee-lightful #Sky is an angel that needs to be protected #They/Them pronouns for Deer ONLY #She/her for both Anna and Sky #Sky is a Bicon #Town of Hellen #Deer #Lily Rust #Abi Moone #Dead

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ask-them-bois · 4 years

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✤ - a memory that involves romance/love, musrio!

“Excuse me, doo yoou have any booooks aboout mushrooooms?”

Musrio couldn’t help but look up at that voice; the inquiry about fungi instantly caught his attention.

A young bronzeblood- around his age- was standing at the counter of the bookhive. They were dressed in a heavy, studded, leather bike jacket, tight leather pants, and combat boots, their hair dyed orange at the bangs and brushed to hang over their face. Multiple piercings studded their ears, nose, eyebrows, and even their lips. Belts and chains and a ceramonial dagger decorated their waist, while several rings adorned their fingers.

“Specifically, oone’s aboout hoow spoores affect the boody?” They continued as Musrio stared.

“I hxve one!” He called softly before he could stop himself. The bronzeblood turned around, and Musrio’s voice died in his throat; they had a crown of horns on their brow, and the brightest amber eyes he’d ever seen. The bronze walked closer, pushing their hair out of their face and smiling at him; fuck fuck fuck, they had the tiniest snaggle-fang, making their grin lopsided and absolutely endearing.

“Hey, thanks, man.” They said casually. Musrio nodded dumbly, before he snapped out of his trance. He scrambled to grab one of the books stacked in front of him, imagining how he must look; a bookish nerd drowning in an over-sized sweater, with thick glasses and a sloppy undercut. Being surrounded by research papers and literal dozens of books probably didn’t help.

“Y- yexh! Here!” He held out one of the novels to them, “Sorry, I took their whole collection of mushroom-relxted books. Ribbit.” He apologized, clapping his hands over his mouth as the ‘ribbit’ slipped out. They just laughed; it was light and happy, and made Musrio’s head spin.

“It’s cooool. Can I sit?” They motioned to the free seat across from him, and the rust nodded eagerly.

“Yes, of course! Um, I’m Musrio.” He introduced himself. They sat down, opening the book in front of them.

“Call me Draycoo.” They purred, “What’s soo impoortant that it required yoou too take all the mycooloogy studies?” Musrio felt his ears burn.

“I, um. I wxnt to be x mycology professor. I think I found x connection between fungi xnd the possibility of rexnimxting bodies, xnd thxt could be pretty benificixl to the Fleet. Ribbit. If they cxn just ‘recycle’ soldiers, more trolls wouldn’t hxve to sign up or be drxfted xnd it would sxve lives, xnd-” He stopped, realizing he’d gone off on a tangent, but his new companion was leaning forward, listening attentively.

“That’s amazing!” They whispered, eyes wide, “Thoough, yoou might put me oout oof a joob. I want too be a medical oofficer.” They laughed, playing with one of the rings on their fingers.

“That’s x wonderful job!” Musrio assured them quickly, “So, why do you need books on mushrooms, then?”

“I’ve got a chance too jooin their classes,” Drayco explained, “And oone oof the first lessoons is aboout plant-based allergens and stuff.”

“Oh! Well, mushrooms xren’t rexlly plxnts. They’re clxssified under the Kingdom Fungi, while things like flowers xnd trees xre under the Kingdom Plxntxe. They contain no chlorophyll; therefore, they cxnnot photosynthesize. Ribbit. Mushrooms obtxin their food by metxbolizing dexd or decxying orgxnic mxtter, such xs dexd plxnts or xnimxls, wherexs plxnts themselves-” He stopped his second ramble, shutting his jaw sharply. Drayco giggled.

“Yoou soound like a textbooook!” They grinned, when Musrio covered his face out of embarrassment, they reached over and gently pulled back his fingers, “Yoou alsoo soound like yoou knoow what yoou’re talking aboout.” They continued gently, “Woould yoou be willing too help me study? I’ll buy yoou dinner. Ooh, here, I can give yoou my number, toooo!” They reached into their jacket and fished out their palmhusk.

Musrio’s eyes went wide, his face completely red. “R- rexlly?” He croaked, “I mexn, yexh, sure, I cxn help, but xre you- xre you xsking me out?” Drayco gave him that sideways smile again.

“Yeah, I think soo. Yoou’re pretty cute, Mush.” They snickered, before they caught themself, “Uh, soorry, yoou proobably doon’t want a pet name. Um, I mean-”

“No, no, it’s okxy!” Musrio assured them quickly, wracking his brain before he blurted out, “X study dxte would be grext, uh, Dee.” He laughed nervously.

Drayco grinned bigger, their face illuminated with delight, and Musrio knew then and there that he was smitten.

#anonymous #ask #musrio answers #drayco answers #long post #drabble #very long post #fluff #i should draw them in their old outfits #forged in hellfire

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chimericarchitect · 7 years

Text

kurvakiousSexekutionoir 2

-- kurvakiousSexekutionoir [KS] began trolling talentedSalad [TS] at 17:43 --

[05:43] KS: Hey! hoow are yoou?

[05:43] TS: Hey! Long time no see. :P

[05:43] TS: I'm good.

[05:44] TS: Whaddup?

[05:44] KS: I was woondering.

[05:44] KS: yoour having this party thing

[05:44] KS: hoow are peoople getting there? me foor example

[05:45] TS: Well, in your case I will be picking you up!

[05:45] TS: So there's nothing for you to worry about

[05:45] KS: .... where are yoou having it if we have too avooid yoour guardian?

[05:46] TS: Mmmm, not my hive!

[05:46] TS: I got a place though

[05:46] KS: which means were goonna use that weird jumpy thing...

[05:46] KS: doosnet it

[05:47] TS: You mean a transpotalizer...?

[05:47] KS: witchcraft

[05:47] TS: (eyeroll.exe)

[05:47] KS: technoocraft?

[05:47] KS: freaking freaky either way

[05:48] KS: but i doo it foor yoou kiwi

[05:48] KS: um alsoo

[05:48] KS: loots oof peoople?

[05:48] TS: Not a lot! ONly 9 so far.

[05:49] KS: 9?!!!

[05:49] KS: thats soo many...

[05:49] TS: The Halloween one I went to had 30 people ;D

[05:49] KS: .... ooh goog

[05:49] KS: Thats...

[05:50] KS: were there aloot oof scary peoople their?

[05:50] KS: there

[05:50] TS: I dunno! They didn't seem scary to me.

[05:50] KS: Yes but yoou a very sweet little shut in...

[05:50] KS: oor ex shut in?

[05:50] TS: Hey!

[05:51] TS: Look, no one was scary! They were all very nice.

[05:51] KS: then why was the party soome hoow saved by oone persoon oonly being there foor a few minutes?

[05:52] TS: Mmm, Probably because that person doesn't get along with the host?

[05:52] TS: Can't say!

[05:53] KS: *whine* soo whoo rsvped?

[05:53] TS: Hang on, lemme look

[05:53] KS: kay

[05:55] TS: 1. subborealcetacean 2. violetbard 3. kurvakioussexekutionoir 4. aesthetic-virtuoso 5. ad1ostoreador 6. wa2p 7. adeysia 8. feralvulpecula 9. solbee-captor

[05:55] TS: These are they

[05:56] KS: hoow many oof these are highbloooods? just oout oof curioousity

[05:57] TS: How high of a blood do they need to be in order to be highblood?

[05:57] KS: aboove teal

[05:58] TS: Not including teal?

[05:58] TS: Just one!

[05:58] KS: ah... im guessin viooletbard is... yeah

[05:59] KS: ooh geez oone sec. mooms chewing oon a roock

[05:59] TS: Your lusus is weird

[06:00] TS: You are what you eat, so she must be dumb as a rock

[06:00] KS: never mind it was a very red peice oof wooood.

[06:00] KS: hey!

[06:00] KS: shes smarter than yoou'

[06:00] KS: guess thats noot saying much :p

[06:00] TS: Prove it :P

[06:01] TS: You called a transportalizer witchcraft

[06:02] KS: looook, i knoow their coommoon. but anything that takes my parts disoolves them and refoorms them is fucking scary

[06:02] KS: what if it gets turned ooff half way!

[06:03] TS: Thennnnn

[06:03] TS: You die?

[06:03] TS: I don't know

[06:03] TS: Never happened! :D

[06:03] KS: .... Yoou die shoould noot be acoompenied by smiley face

[06:03] TS: Hehehe~

[06:04] TS: Well, I don't think it dissolves you anyway

[06:04] TS: That's a misconception

[06:04] KS: what is it then?

[06:04] KS: what dooes it doo?

[06:04] TS: Smoosh!

[06:05] TS: Space!

[06:05] TS: :D

[06:05] KS: NOONE OOF THIS IS A ANSWERRRRRRRRR

[06:05] KS: hndfjsdhfksdi im goonna dieeee

[06:05] TS: Eventually! ^_^

[06:05] KS: im goonna lick yoou...

[06:06] TS: Gross

[06:06] KS: right in the ear

[06:06] TS: Ew

[06:06] KS: really wet

[06:07] TS: UR Disgustin'

[06:07] KS: yoour a troollgladite

[06:08] KS: Are yoou ignooring my amazing wit

[06:10] TS: Yeah, "amazing" is one way to describe that

[06:10] TS: But I wasn't ignoring you

[06:10] TS: I was working on my Uni-Stitch

[06:11] KS: yoour croochet?

[06:13] TS: Hehe, yeah, let's go with that ;D

[06:13] TS: What're you up to?

[06:13] KS: ... what else coould that mean?

[06:13] KS: ooh um

[06:13] KS: i am attmpting too make my cloothes foor the party

[06:14] TS: :O

[06:14] TS: D'you want some help?

[06:14] TS: What're you going to wear? It's not a costume party

[06:15] KS: ive goot it moostly. im just having a hanioous time with the design

[06:15] KS: i knoow but i alsoo doont want too wear my ragged cloothes ya knoow?

[06:15] TS: :T

[06:16] TS: You sure you don't want me to make/get you something?

[06:16] KS: woorried ill embarass yoou?~

[06:18] TS: Nope!

[06:18] KS: truth is im recycling an oold thing i made foorever agoo.

[06:19] TS: Mmm? :3

[06:19] KS: yooull see ;)

[06:19] TS: Okay. So long as you are comfortable, that it what matters

[06:20] KS: ooh theres gooing too be aloot oof peoople.

[06:20] KS: im gooing too be freaking oout inside

[06:20] KS: ooutside ill be hoot as fuck

[06:21] KS: this isnt foormal is it?

[06:21] TS: Not formal, no.

[06:21] TS: Casual is fine.

[06:22] KS: ookay cooool

[06:22] TS: Are you excited?

[06:23] KS: i am alsoo scared but yea

[06:23] KS: but i have oone questioon foor yoou.

[06:23] KS: this is a human hoolliday oor soo has been said.

[06:23] KS: whats a human

[06:23] TS: Ohhh myyy GOOOODDDD

[06:23] TS: This again??

[06:24] TS: They

[06:24] TS: Are

[06:24] TS: Aliens

[06:24] TS: Pinky softy aliens

[06:24] KS: what doo yoou mean again?!

[06:24] KS: alsoo fucking ew what?

[06:24] TS: :O

[06:24] TS: Wait

[06:24] TS: I thought we talked about this?

[06:25] KS: ... i yoou "multiverseing" again?

[06:25] KS: are

[06:25] KS: noot i

[06:25] KS: wtf

[06:26] TS: I am always multiverse-ing!

[06:26] TS: You are too, now

[06:26] KS: ... i.. did i coonsent too this

[06:26] TS: Yep!

[06:26] TS: You're welcome

[06:27] KS: ... that soounds like yoou coonsented foor my kiwi

[06:28] TS: No way! You totally agreed.

[06:28] TS: You're in it now

[06:28] TS: :P

[06:28] KS: mmmmmmmmmmm

[06:28] KS: i knoow

[06:28] KS: soomeoone foolloowed my bloog

[06:28] TS: !! :O

[06:28] TS: Who?

[06:29] KS: succinctlysevered

[06:29] TS: aiylsihbvs'

[06:29] TS: BAD

[06:29] TS: OH

[06:29] TS: D:

[06:30] KS: ???

[06:30] TS: That guy is scary

[06:30] KS: they seemed ookay when we talked foor a sec.

[06:30] KS: but i was awkward soo we havent really talked again

[06:30] TS: He is really

[06:30] TS: REALLY

[06:30] TS: into killing and stuff

[06:30] KS: ....

[06:30] KS: troolls

[06:31] KS: oour whoole race

[06:31] TS: :(

[06:31] KS: sweet little shut in kiwi

[06:31] TS: >:(

[06:31] TS: It grew eyebrows just for you

[06:31] KS: such a precioous innoocent sooul

[06:32] KS: yoour gooing too be eaten alive

[06:32] KS: and noot in the fun way...

[06:33] TS: D:<

[06:33] TS: Kitty

[06:33] TS: STFU

[06:33] KS: oohhh sensitive

[06:33] TS: I can be tough

[06:33] TS: I'm trying

[06:33] KS: awwwwwwwwww

[06:34] KS: kiwi

[06:34] KS: im soorry yoour just too cute

[06:34] KS: like a baby meoowbeast trying too attack a dragoon

[06:34] TS: I will block you

[06:34] KS: noooooooooooooooooooooo

[06:34] KS: loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooovvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[06:34] KS: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii ccccccccccccaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

[06:35] KS: dddddddddddddddddoooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnttttttttttttttttt leav me

[06:35] TS: stahp

[06:35] TS: garbage words

[06:35] TS: ew

[06:35] TS: I had to read this

[06:35] TS: SEVERAL times

[06:35] TS: in order to understand you

[06:35] KS: *whine*

[06:35] TS: (Squint)

[06:36] KS: doont bloock me

[06:36] KS: doont leave meh

[06:36] TS: Why are you being dumb

[06:36] TS: it was a joke kitty

[06:37] KS: mir

[06:38] KS: kiwi why doo yoou doo this too me

[06:38] TS: Do what?? Make jokes?

[06:38] TS: Now who's sensitive, you weenie?

[06:38] KS: blugh

[06:38] KS: shuddup

[06:38] KS: i am noot

[06:38] KS: hT{OO:GReyfjtmsrga

[06:38] KS: FYGUNLE

[06:39] KS: ,VKJOOUEFY8Wgab

[06:39] TS: (SquintX2 Combo)

[06:39] KS: cvgfkvm.

[06:39] TS: stop

[06:39] KS: moom was oon the keybooard again

[06:39] TS: Your lusus is dumb

[06:39] TS: XP

[06:39] KS: she likes yoou thoough

[06:39] TS: XPPPP

[06:39] KS: did the spit ever coome oout oof yoour shirt froom when she licked yoou?

[06:40] TS: I had to destroy that shirt!

[06:41] KS: why?

[06:41] KS: it was just spit.

[06:41] KS: and a little blooood..

[06:42] KS: ookay maybe there was moore blooood than their shoould usually be

[06:42] TS: YEAH

[06:42] TS: I had to destroy the evidence before Anista saw

[06:42] TS: Couldn't risk it

[06:42] KS: ooh... yeah thats fair....

[06:46] TS: So what're you doing?

[06:46] KS: well i just sewed part oof my finger too my dress... soo i seam ripping.

[06:46] KS: yoou?

[06:47] TS: You sewed your finger onto your dress? How??

[06:48] KS: stoopped paying attentioon and went throough the calloouse

[06:49] TS: Are you bleeding on your new clothes?

[06:50] KS: noope

[06:50] KS: im gooood doont woorry

[06:50] KS: cant see it anyway. im wearing black

[06:51] TS: Mm.

[06:52] KS: soo what will yoou wear? goobblebeast coostume?

[06:58] TS: No way! The event is CASUAL

[06:58] TS: I will wear something CASUAL

[06:58] TS: Not a COSTUME

[06:58] KS: ......

[06:58] KS: yoour a meme i doont belive yoou woont be extra

[06:58] TS: Holy shit

[06:58] TS: Called THE FUCK out

[06:59] TS: by my own friend no less

[06:59] TS: You absolute monster

[06:59] KS: if its private i think its just calling hoooofbeast shit?

[07:00] TS: >:O

[07:00] TS: I guess??

[07:01] TS: Well, either way, I am dressing CASUALLY

[07:01] KS: alright.

[07:01] KS: its gooing too be oon yoour shirt istn it yoou little turd

[07:05] TS: No!

[07:05] TS: I was gonna wear something normal

[07:07] KS: alright fine i relent

[07:10] TS: Good

[07:11] TS: Sorry, I've been pretty busy

[07:11] KS: its all gooood

[07:11] KS: whats wroong?

[07:11] TS: Nothing is wrong!

[07:11] TS: Not right now, anyway

[07:11] KS: yoou sure

[07:12] TS: Yep!

[07:12] TS: Just checking for cracks

[07:12] TS: Fixin' the place up

[07:12] KS: .... croochet doosnt crack...

[07:12] TS: :?

[07:12] TS: Sure it does?

[07:12] KS: earlier yoou said yoou were dooing croochet

[07:12] TS: :D

[07:12] KS: NOOOOOOOOOO

[07:12] KS: It disnt

[07:13] KS: what are yoou danceing arooung yoou degenerate lightning bug

[07:13] TS: Hehe! You're funny. ^_^

[07:13] TS: ZZip! ZZap

[07:13] TS: Lightning!

[07:14] TS: Don't worry about it. :P

[07:14] KS: fine....

[07:16] KS: hey

[07:16] KS: soo ive been looooking aroound gaming sites

[07:16] KS: any yoou coould suggest too me?

[07:17] TS: Sure!

[07:17] TS: I know a Karkat who plays the Sims

[07:17] TS: He enjoys it!

[07:17] TS: I could ask for a copy

[07:17] KS: sims?

[07:17] KS: and what doo yoou mean a karkat

[07:18] KS: ... theres moore than oone

[07:18] KS: multiverse

[07:18] KS: ooh good theres moore than oone

[07:18] KS: is there anoother me?

[07:18] KS: oof coouse theres anoother ma

[07:18] KS: hooly shit

[07:19] TS: I haven't met another you yet, if it's any consolation

[07:19] KS: doo yoou think there are peoople whoo goo betweaan these universes? noot just with a weird techmagic server

[07:19] KS: but like

[07:19] KS: peoople

[07:21] KS: what if thats what all these peoople can doo

[07:21] KS: am i the oonly oone whoo cant

[07:21] KS: am i really that fereal

[07:21] KS: am i crazy????!!!!

[07:24] TS: You are feral and crazy! :P

[07:24] TS: jk

[07:24] TS: But

[07:24] TS: I had to travel across the multiverse to go to that party you know

[07:24] KS: ooh my good transpoortalizers are actual fucking witchcraft

[07:29] TS: Well

[07:29] TS: Not all of them

[07:29] KS: ....

[07:29] KS: is this soome hoow linked with yoour brain poowers

[07:32] TS: My brain powers? Really?

[07:32] TS: A lot of lowbloods are psychic!

[07:32] KS: yes but i mean yoou seem too be... extra...

[07:32] KS: i dunnoo

[07:33] TS: :?

[07:33] KS: yoou seem really stroon coompared too oothers ive knoown

[07:34] TS: Oh. Really? :3

[07:34] TS: I'm flattered.

[07:34] TS: What makes you think so?

[07:34] KS: pfff oone persoon i used too knoow coouldnt lift a spoooon. yoou fly

[07:34] TS: Ohhh

[07:35] TS: Well, I'm not REALLY strong

[07:35] TS: But I'm decent!

[07:35] KS: impressive.

[07:35] TS: ^_^

[07:41] KS: blugables

[07:43] TS: What?

[07:44] KS: ooh thats the soound oof my incooming death because yoour cute as fuck

[07:50] TS: Why must you do this?

[07:50] TS: Oh hey

[07:50] TS: I just remembered

[07:50] TS: I met someone

[07:58] KS: what?!

[07:58] KS: wait

[07:58] KS: like

[07:58] KS: MET?????!!!

[07:58] TS: Face to face? Uhhh, yeah?

[07:58] TS: I went to a party!

[07:58] TS: But if you mean did I MEET someone...

[07:58] TS: ;)

[07:58] KS: quadrents bitch doo yoou have them

[07:58] TS: I do! :D

[07:59] KS: EEEEE WHOO YOOU BEST GIVE ME DETAILS

[07:59] TS: Haha

[07:59] TS: His name is Tulket

[07:59] TS: What do you wanna know?

[07:59] KS: tulket...

[07:59] KS: tulllket

[07:59] KS: Crestaciean?

[08:00] KS: the guy whoos handle soounds like shellfish?

[08:01] TS: !!!

[08:02] TS: subborealcetacean you brute

[08:02] KS: what even dooes that mean

[08:02] TS: LOOK IT UP

[08:02] TS: You language bound hooligan

[08:02] KS: nyaw looookit yoou

[08:02] KS: getting all prootective

[08:02] KS: cute~

[08:03] TS: Can it you trout >///<

[08:03] KS: canned troout? this reminds me

[08:03] KS: isnt he a fishy?

[08:03] KS: kiwi and guppy?

[08:03] KS: sitting in a tree?

[08:03] KS: k

[08:03] KS: i

[08:03] KS: s

[08:03] KS: i

[08:03] KS: n

[08:03] KS: g

[08:04] KS: ?

[08:05] KS: be right baclk ookay?

[08:12] TS: You are GARBAGE

[08:12] TS: XPPP

-- kurvakiousSexekutionoir [KS] is now an idle chum! --

[08:31] KS: yes i knoow but still

[08:31] KS: alsoo after reaading anything and everything i coould oon his pages

[08:31] KS: ...

[08:32] KS: ill be woorried but yoou are ookay with him i think.

[08:32] KS: just knoow

[08:32] KS: if he ever hurts yoou, i will find him.

[08:32] KS: i will capture him

[08:32] KS: and i will make sure my lusus eats him in teeny tiny peices

[08:32] TS: Oh, you're back. Thanks for making this unpleasant. >:T

[08:33] KS: ~ just looooking oout foor my girl

[08:33] KS: anyway im super happy foor yoou

[08:33] KS: yoou deserve happieness

[08:34] TS: XPP

[08:34] TS: What were you doing, anyway?

[08:34] KS: ...

[08:35] KS: i may have goone and cyber staled him too make sure he wasnt a serial killer oor cannabal oor anything woorriesoome

[08:35] TS: O_O

[08:35] TS: Creepy

[08:35] KS: what?

[08:35] KS: i care aboout yoou

[08:36] TS: Okay, but Tulket is a good person!

[08:36] TS: You coulda asked me

[08:36] TS: OR

[08:36] TS: You could talk to him yourself!

[08:37] KS: ... i think ill wait oon that

[08:37] KS: but yoou shoould tootaly tell me aboout hi,

[08:37] KS: 'and yoou guys as a cooupel

[08:37] KS: wait

[08:37] KS: dooes he knoow aboout yoour blooood?

[08:37] KS: and if soo hoow did he find oout

[08:37] KS: was it inaproopriate?

[08:38] TS: >:O

[08:38] TS: You lewd thing!

[08:38] TS: YES

[08:38] TS: He knows about my blood color

[08:38] TS: HOWEVER

[08:38] TS: I don't think he gets it

[08:38] TS: He's a teal seadweller

[08:39] KS: thats deffinately oodd foor sure

[08:39] KS: still doosnt tell me weeather oor noot yoouve pailed

[08:39] TS: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[08:39] TS: NO

[08:40] TS: GODDAMNIT KITTY

[08:40] TS: I haven't known him that long!

[08:40] TS: D:<

[08:40] TS: What if I said we did, huh? Then what??

[08:40] KS: awww soo embarassed~ i bet if yoour emoojis were accurate im sure theyed have little lines

[08:41] KS: then id be impressed. maybe. id proobably ask hoow gooood he was

[08:41] TS: (SQUINT)

[08:42] KS: what? im curioous

[08:43] KS: hiding froom scoociety and coonstantly mooving doosnt give aloot oof "scoocial" time

[08:45] TS: (((S Q U I N T)))

[08:45] TS: Look

[08:45] TS: I gotta go

[08:45] TS: I'll talk to you later

[08:45] KS: ooh..

[08:45] KS: ookay

[08:45] KS: i wast trying too make yoou actually mad. soorry broo.

[08:45] KS: talk too ya later ookay?

[08:46] TS: Yep!

#chat log #ooc #kurvakioussexekutionoir #long post #//nsfw

1 note · View note

onewfantaesy · 7 years

Text

It’s 2010 bitch!!!

written also with @spacetaemin, @5hineesback, @choitaemins and @sabakunocasali (and probably many others)

“Minho shoot the ball” yelled super jock Kim Jonghyun as he ran down the footballl field. Minho, baseball in hand, hit the soccer ball so hard it become a touchdown. Everyone in the audience cheered but especially Taemin, long haired bb child innocent my son,,,doesn’t know a damn thing about anything. Evry1 thinks hes a girl but rly hes just feminine and cute and clueless!

Sitting next to Taemin was his best-friend-but-also-pseudo-mother, Kim Kibum, better known as “Key Umma.”

“I did it I got a homerun!!!” Choi Minho, the coolest jock in school, yelled as he ran on the track. He locked eyes w/ his super beautiful girlfriend, Yuri. She was so hot and he wsa really heterosexual and straight. Nothing would ever change that!!!!

Jonghyun, the token gay on the Sports team, immediately ran to his boyfriend in the stands, Key. The two embraced lovingly, proclaiming their love in front of the entire school because apparently homophobia isnt a thing and high schcool is just Amazing. They were the only Gays (Trademark) in the entire school (a/n: or so everyone Thought!!!!! Wink wink!!!!), and everyone knew that they Loved each other So Deeply that they would probably get married right after graduation. (a/n: jonghyun is thinking of proposing right after the game!!! He has a ring in jock strap and everything!!)

Minho looked on, disgusted. How could they possibly be okay wit THAT? He knew deep down he was truly homophobic. Minho hated gays!!! Suspicious that no one ever questioned why…

The next day they had to go to science class because it’s school and that’s what happens sometimes. Of course this was only for Loser kids, and Kim “Straight” Jonghyun wasnt One of those kids. He didnt even go to school he just sat in the basketball courts and pretended. He was cooler than That

Minho was still in class though because he was even cooler than Jonghyun and the coolest kids break the expectations of what’s expected of them. He sat in sciencey class ignoring the teacher. He scribbled down his favorite cereal recipes to pass the time.

Meanwhile, sitting int he back of the class was Taemin, even though he and minho aren’t even in the same grade. Taemin scribbled Minho’s name in little hearts all over his notebook, slamming it clsoed as loud and dramatically as possible when his teacher called him out for not paying attention.Minho didnt even know taemin Existed, let alone that he was a…..boy.. (and minho, as established, is not A Gay..he couldnt be!.. ..

Minho looked up at this. “Who’s That Girl” by EXID played in the background as Minho looked at Taemin for the first time...who WAS this boi? And WHY did he want to know? There’s no possible way that this literal nobody could make Minho question himself

The bell rang, and now it’s lunch because of course lunch happens right after the only class of the day. Taemin went to sit with Key Umma and Kim “Call Me Appa” Jonghyun at their usual lunch table (which was the only place at school jonghyun would actually go because usually hed be sitting alone in a basketball court). Taemin had lunch from home, because he would never eat the gross Cafeteria food that was served. Of course his Key Umma made the lunch for him since Taemin didn’t knwo how to make lunch at all. Taemin sipped on his 2 liter jug of banana milk(through a bendy straw courtesy of Key Umma) and innocently hummed a tune, blissfully unaware of the tragedies that occur in daily life.

“Life i s so good ummma” taemin said happily with a ray of sunshine coming down onto him from the window. Coincidentally, the sun also shines straight out of his asshole, and sometimes, a rainbow. “I don’t think anything can go wrong ever”

Just then!!! Minho, carrying his tray of Cafeteria food, tripped and fell and dropped all of his food right on Taemin’s head!!!

Key immediately stood up to defend his perfect pure virgin son, screeching at Minho for corrupting him with his School Food!!! Taemin didn’t even know what food was!! How dare Minho do this to him/!!!

“*sorry in Korean*” apologized Minho but Key umma was not having it. He hit Minho over the head with a his gucci bedazzled rhinestone purse, careful not to damage his perfectly manicured nails which no one at this school questioned, because he was the Queen Bee (and Shin Sekyung WASN’T) who everyone Feared.

Key immediately turned to Jonghyun, slapping his shoulder and saying, “Protect your Son!!!111!!”

Jonghyun, conflicted between defending his son’s honor and offending his Star Teammate, could only sit and now know what to do.

“Uwu it’s ok key ummma i-i can just go wash this off” taemin said as he poured banana milk on his head as a makeshift shower of sorts. Minho escorted him to the water fountains, dribbling a basketball as he did at literally all times ever.

“Minho oppa what’s basketball” taemin innocently asked.

“Ball is life” was the reply, Minho looking soulfully at the ceiling as if staring into the very eyes of god

“Ooooooh! That sounds so fun! Oppa-HYUNG you’re so dedicated and tall and amazing and I’m so...me” he said, sunshine still falling on him even though they were indoors, with the first hint of disappointment he’s ever shown in his whole Kawaii, Clueless life.

“Just you?” Minho yelled, dribbling his basketball faster. “NO”

“wae”

“Taemin you are so...kawaii” minho didn’t realize he said the words until he said them. A single tear rolled down his cheeks as he let himself realize...Taemin neomu yeppeo. He didnt want to admit it….but could these doki dokis…..be gay doki dokis????? It couldnt be. He continued dribbling.

“Minho ophyung..” taemin said dreamily as he stared into his chocolate orbs. This was it...he had fallen in love with the coolest jock in the school! But how could this happen? Taemin was just a lowly science nerd who even thoough was extremely pretty and beautiful nobody @ school liked him except for Key umma (and jonghyun but again, did he really evene go to this school? How old even is he???? Does he havea home?)

Minho pushed taemin away. “Taemi i’m not gay okay and also...you’re in the sciencwe club. That’s fucking dumb” “Bbut……...hyoppa………...without science would ball still be life?”

“Ball is ALWAYS life!!!1!” Minho shouts in his face. Still dribbling.

“What if it isn’t??” Taemin challenged Minho’s way of life for the first time.”Without science, you wouldn’t even HAVE life!!”

This was too much thinking for Minho’s basketball brain to handle. Suddenly, he felt like he was going to explode. Key Umma hoped he would explode. “What if…..” taemin started, shakily, already in tears, “what if you’re–” “N O” minho answered, sprinting away with his long, gazelle like legs.

“What if…..ur my life……...hyoppa”

Minho was too far away to hear the tragic confession….

KEY’S POV

Today I’m wearing a gucci bedazzled purse, ripped jeans that has a cheetah print on them with black lace at the ends, red converse which have mud all over them from marching band even tho i don’t play an instrument, that’s only for preps! EW! (I dont march either, wwalking is too much work! They carry me on the drums because everyone fucking loves me and worships me like a god, but anyways) My diamond studded earings shone gracefully in the wind as I walked to the stupid jock-ey school holding the hands of the HOTTEST BOY I’VE EVER MET my boyfriend jonghyun! He has an eightpack and literally LIVES in a basketball court. Jonghyun isn’t just my boyfriend he’s also my bitch

Suddenly, Shin Sekyung. And bees. What a stupid whore I hate her because she gets in the way of me and Jjongie!!! Also she has 30 boyfriends already, because shes a prep and a slut, and i only have three! Well, three counting all of jonghyun’s edgy personalities. At least two and a half are straight.

Shin Sekyung and her prep friends look at me. I put my middle finger up at them. I continue making out w my beautiful, hot bf and ignore them.

“What the hell are you doing you motherfuckers!!” Lee Sooman yelled as he ran across the campus, angrily shaking his fists.

“Oh no” Jonghyun said wearing his hot Good Charlotte shirt that I bought for him because I love Good Charlotte and MCR. Gerard Way is soooooooo hot. But not as hot as Jonghyun

“Key umma what’s going on” asked Taemin innocently as he tripped over his -2 sized shoes and fell onto the ground and dropped his banana milk. I had to protect my son from the stupid preps who go to this school that doesn’t even have any real emos in it. Sad!

I ran towards my baby careful not to get my $200 pedicure ruined by the grass

“My lil bab are u okay????? U lil innocent soul” I said as I pet his hair

“Umma what’s gay i don’t know what’s this is!”

I starts screaming that someone has corrupted his baby, even though he himself is the MotherGay, and he cradles Taemin’s perfect little cherub head close to his chest and tells him that he doens’t need to know what a penis is.

“That is only for grown ups!!!! You're too young bby” I said as I shook my head

“I went on the internet with my parents permission last night and looked it up but I just got confused! What’s a penis i don’t?? UNDERSTAND”

I SCREAMED

“TAEBBY YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PENISES!!!”

“BUT UMMA I THINK I HAVE ONE!!!”

“YOU DONT KNOW THAT! GO TO BED!” “Wwe;re at schcool” he sobbed

“TAEMIN GO TAKE A NAP IT’S NAP TIME FOR SWEET INNOCENT LITTLE BBYS”

I heard balls dibidibidribbling in the distance, getting close and closer. I turned my head it was Minho with at least 50balls!

Minho was such a stupid prep and I put my middle finger up at him. “Go away minho” i yelled sexily, “you must be the reason for my small baby child son’s corruption……...

Minho sneered “psh yea i got a functioning diccccc”

“Umma,” taemin piped up from his nap, “i think my penis likes minho”

“Taemin i’ve” minho started “i’ve come to terms w/ it..i’m Gay but only for you!!!! And only because you look like a girl with your hair!! My bae you’re so beautiful if you just wore contacts and wore a lil makeup..i wanna fuck you btw. But its not gay its just you! Because ur basically a girl!”

Taemin blushed and swept a strand of his long hair away from his face. “Gomawo…. Oppa.. hyung…. What is a fuck? Can you teach me?”

Kibum SCREETCHED and ascended to another plain of reality away from the preps. Hes not dead but like, hes basically in gods hands now

MINHO’S POV

Taemins so hot I wanna have sex with him but from behind so I can pretend he’s a girl. Suddenly i got phone call from my girlfriend yuri who i completely forgot about! She squealed about how hot i was at my lacrossesoccerketball game and then asked something that i didnt care about and then hung up. I went downstairs to cook up my signature “cereal”

I put bananas and honey and spiders and a little bit of granola in it to make it into the perfect meal. I knew Yuri would love it. When did yuri get here? I dont know. I have no sense of what time is, and ive heard its fake anyways so its cool

“Taemin here’s your meal- oh no i mean yuri!!!!!!” yikes!!!!!!!!!

Taemin started crying “minho hyoppadeul what are spiders..why are you doing this to me”

I had to pretend like I didn't know what he was talking about I had to bully him because I have gay feelings that need to be pressed back in my head until i can believe they dont exist anymore because im not gay? Whats a gay? Ive never Heard of that! Shut up

Now I’m back at school, because I don’t know hwy I ever left in the first place, but I have to start bullying Taemin!!! In front of everyone!! No one can know that i am Part of a Gay. mostly the dick part because thats the manliest part

“Fuck you taemin” i said while breaking his arm just by breathing on it. I felt a little bad but then I remembered my social status is really important for my lacrosse scholarship and I’ll only get the $5 in financial aid if I’m the coolest person in school so……………….

I dibidibidribbled a baseball in one hand and pushed Taemin intoa trashcan with the other, smirking the entire time as the rest of the entire student body Laughed at him !! haha!!

Key appeared from behind the trashcan. “HOW DAR E YOU HURT MY PRECIOUS SON”

“Umma what’s death i hear it calling for me” taemins tiny bb eye s blurred with tiny tears..he was hurt and beautiful

Key umma rushes to Taemin’s side and pulls him out, pointing a manicured finger straight at Minho’s face.

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU STUPID fucking PREP” Key screeches!! He puts up his nails like a cat, having recently got them redone to be Sharp. “knock it off you mediocre dunces!!!!” Lee Sooman yelled from across the hall. He used his special principal powers to teleport us to the prinipals office which was his office actually so it was convenient in many different ways!!

Key takes his gucci purse and WHACKS me in the eyeball with it!

“ANI!” I screamed as my contact fell out and glasses magically appeared onto my face. I hid my disgusting face. Nobody could know that I swear vglasses i wanna fuckin diE

“NOW I’M AN UGLY STR8 not gay NERD!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!”

Taemin starts crying, because he thinks his miinho hyoppa thinks he’s ugly because he wears Glasses like a NErd. Taemins half dead corpse whispered from the floor, “omo…..i………...wear glasses too Hyungpa..”

“Taemin my soul mate,,,” i reached out to grab taemins hand in my pinky finger because he’s so small. “I want to tell you i- I am only part of a “gay” for you”

Taein cried “wgat is part of gay...are you a buy of sexual?”

“Yes,” minho whispers, “i’m buying a sexual… my peen…. Lovs u….”

“Minho hyoppa” taemin croaks from his half dead state “what’s a peen?”

“GODDAMMIT TAEMIN” KEY SCREAMS “YOU CAN’T KNOW WHAT A PEEN IS”

“Is it what i have?” taemin reaches down to show key the extra leg he thought he had in his pants. Between his legs wasn’t a penis but….is that senator Bernie Sanders??!?!?!??!?!

Minho gasps. “Here’s how Bernie can still win!!!”

Then Minho dribbled a basketball into the distance with Taemin hanging off of the ball.

“It’s time to dibidibidie, taemin”

“What’s a die?” taemin asked

Key umma could be heard yelling in the distance, but MInho was already dribbling Taemin into the light. As they approached what was (probably) heaven, and not just a hallucination due to taemins pain meds which were actually just bird seeds(key umma would never let him take real drugs!! Those are DANGEROUS!!), krystal, aka G O D, appeared unto them and stated her wisdom,

“Taekai is real..minho who?”

“Whos kai this is 2010”

“I’m from the future and you’re gay” “Whats gay”

“Sorry did i say kai i mean...nickhyun. Taenickhun is real”

Suddenly onew appeared eating chicken, trippping ovr everything.

Taemin looked at him and gasped. “Hyung… i havent seen you in years… since you died in the skeleton war………..“

“I was off raising a heavenly chicken farm!! I’m marying a fried chicken leg!! Pls come to my wedding in Chicken Heaven” onew said

“ENOUGH” said Krystal aka G O D as she clapped her thunderous hands, obliterating Onew from existence. He doesn’t belong in 2minjongkey universe.

Taemin started crying. “Where did hyung go, minho hyoppa?”

“Taemin…” Minho said, trying to shield his tiny bf from the pains of death but ultimately failing to do so. “Sometimes people jst fucking leave ok. Jsut like my dad”

“But minho we just went to heaven and god didnt let me die”

“God doesnt let angels die”

Taemin wings grew just then...it was then that everyone remembered he was a Literal Angel. A literal angel. Actually.

“Is this why you didn’t know anything about sex?” Minho asks.

“The only sex ed in heaven is Abstinence” taemin tells him “so you’re going to hell”

“Well damn can we fix that” minho asked, still fucking dribbbling a basketball. Or something

“But hyoppa i don’t know how to sex you have to teach me ;) bb”

Key materialized from the got damn toilet, previously having brunch with GOD, and clapped his sparkly magenta, not green bcs green is for dicks(except jonghyuns dick bcos key liked that one) manicured hands twice, transporting them to who fucking knwos “LISTEN BITCH” Shin Sekyung roared as she tore out Key’s sparkly pink hair extensions. Key tried to hit Sekyung (jfc poor girl i can see her funeral) with his gucci purse but missed, flinging it into the distance as he screamed.

Key turned, telling his super hot muscular popular bad-boy boyfriend Jjong to tell this Prep Bitch Shin Sekyung that he was dating Key now!!! And she needed to get her Prep Ass away from him!! “Jonghyun. Buy me a new purse” key said to his boyfriend, flicking his hair in a diva-ish manner and bounced his soft hips (i read something like this in a fanfic holy shit)

Event hough Jonghyun is still in high school and never goes to class and has no job, he has rich ass parents, so he can buy Key anything he wants. He pulls out his dad’s credit card and tells Key to pick out any purse he wants!!!

Key picks out the purse that those ugly preps would dislike the most, and makes a mental note to slap all of them with it.

Jonghyun buys the purse for him and gives it to his diva boyfriend. Then taemin appears.

“Umma i ran out of banana milk :( minho said i could drink his but i don’t know what he means… i didn’t see him with any milk” Key Umma started screeching into oblivion, and Jonghyun had to wave aroudn his credit card with promises of a new outfit to get him to calm down and come back to the mortal plain of existence.

That’s when Key Umma ran straight to Minho!!! That PREP had corrupted his baby!!!

“HE WAS INNOCENT U BITCH!!” Key screams in Minho’s face. “YOU TOLD HIM WHAT A PEEN IS!!”

Minho frowned, dribbling his basketball more aggressively hsi totally stoic cold face(trademark) existing.

“But he has a peen”

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE KNEW WHAT IT WAS!!1!!”

Taemin, sipping on a new bottle of banana milk that Jonghyun had pulled out of his ass for him, only shifted his eyes between his umma and his new (secret!!) boyfriend. Key Umma couldn’t know that Minho was his (secret!!) boyfriend! No one could know, because then everyone would know that Minho was part of a gay, and Minho didn’t want anyone to know that. He might lose his spot on the basketball team since Jonghyun is the only gay allowed!!!

“I didn’t tell him.” minho said. “Telling him might make people think… i’m a…. gay...w hich i’m not. I have a girlfriend her name is yuri. Shes really hot and i know this because i’m straight”

Taemin’s eyes filled with tears. “Hyoppa….”

Minho pushed Taemin into a trashcan again, the banana milk flying from Taemin’s hands and up into the air, only to open compeltely and spill onto the top of his head. His tears mixed with the banana milk flowing down his chubby baby cheeks. He couldn’t believe his Minho hyoppa would say he was a Straight.

“Key Umma, what is a straight?” Taemin asks through banana tears.

“I’M GOING TO KILL THAT PREP MINHO!!”

Key umma, finally so fed up with that DUMB PREP!! flew (a/n: very literally!!) at Minho, hitting him in the head with his brand new gucci purse!!

Minho’s brain popped straight out of his skull, and it was actually basketball this entire time!!!

Minho’s body was still working without it’s basketball brain, and so he reached over and started dibidibidribbling his basketbrain.

Suddenly Amy walked in she was so cool!! She’s an OC shh.

“Who are you?” key asked. “Another dumb prep?!!!! Are you here to steal my popular hot muscular jonghyun?”

(A/N buy press it on iTunes)

Suddenly, Amy hovered in the air and magicalyl turned into Shin Sekyung!!! THAT PRE P BITCH!!

Key threw his purse straight at that Prep Bitch’s head, killing Shin Sekyamy instantly. She ascended into Prep Heaven and haunted them all for the rest of eternity.

Suddenly, her soul turned into a piece of chicken. Onew appeared and picked up what was left, munching on it happily. “My kokoro goes dugeun dugeun for chicken” he said when he had finished.

Taemin gasped. “Hyung!!!!!!!! You’re back!!!!!” and then he started crying again, clutching minho’s shirt wetting it (with tears xdxdxd)

“I must go” onew said. “I need to finish marrying my chicken wife.” and without another word, he evaporated, leaving behind a trail of chicken grease and nuggets.

Out of sudden and behind the grease and dust the gucci slippers appeared.

Taemin gasped. “Hyoppa…. Look… they’re beautiful….”

Key took the slippers right off of Taemin’s feet and hit him over the head with them.

“DO NOT” Key screamed “DO THIS TO MY INNOCENT PERFECT BABY CHILD.”

“But I am your innocent perfect baby child” taemin stuttered, banana tears welling up in his eyes.

“THEN DO NOT,” KEY SCREAMED “DO THIS”

With that, Key disappeared into the void. To finally burn those shits

Taemin cried harder. “Hyoppa… why did he take them from me…. My kokoro is so sad… please make me happy again”

Minho kept dibidibidribbling his basketbrain.

Taemin didn’t seem to notice that Minho no longer had the top of his skull, which was where his basketbrain fell out of. It was okay, because Taemin loved his Minho hyoppa no matter what!!!

“Minho hyoppa…. Do you think… i’m a gay?”

“You can’t be a gay,” minho tells him. “Because i can’t be in love with a gay. I am a straight.”

Taemin starts crying. Key Umma can be heard screaming sassily from the Void(which now was pink)

“I can be the only gay on the basketball team” bling bling says.(a/n: bling bling is jonghyun xD)

Jonghyun, furious at the thought of not being the only gay on the team, shoves Minho away from him. In the Heat of the Moment, Jonghyun accidentally pushes Minho into Taemin!!! Minho was already dead, his body dribbling his basketbrain post-mortem, but Taemin, who was still alive, gets shoved into a trashcan for the last time. His head cracks open from hitting the edge of the trashcan, and a bottle of bananamilk spills out of his head. That was the end of Taemin, for he ascended into heaven so he could take his rightful place as Perfect Baby Virgin Angel of Heaven (trademark).

Jonghyun looks down at them sadly, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “Dibidibidis… his name was minho.”

Key, furious from his place in the void, literally fucking launches himself at Jonghyun, and the two of them blow up at the impact. A Gay Rainbow is left in their place, permanently.

Shin Sekyamy ressurrects from the dead, and she laughs maniacally. This had been her plan all along - to get them to all kill each other!!! Now she could be the Real Queen Bee!! Key Umma Whom???

Dibidibidone.

#shinee #2min #jongkey #onchicken

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