#hes part of my body and my soul forever andi just want to claw him out

[desertdxg]

tw rape (not cnc), venting, negative

its been four months, and its all i can think about.

i can feel the duct tape on my wrists.

i can feel the pressure on my neck and chest.

i can taste the fabric of his boxers in my mouth.

i can still feel the dull sting on my ass from the canes.

i can feel the hair being ripped out from the tape he used to make me keep it in.

i can smell the non latex condoms he used, because he was allergic to latex.

i sob and cry and panic whenever a pillow ends up on my face.

even when it was an accident, or it happened in my sleep...

i wake up in terror, thinking that it's happening all over again.

and there's five new scratches on my face to prove it.

i get aroused thinking about it, sometimes.

and yet, im ashamed of it and ashamed of myself for letting it happen.

i have taken at least a hundred showers since that day, may seventeenth, twenty twenty-three.

multiple times a day, some days, and the filth he has buried in my skin has not washed off and i doubt it ever will.

i was and am a stupid whore, and im ashamed of myself for letting it happen to me.

i remember he only stopped because he couldn't get it up and cum any more.

it was four months ago and it was all my fault.

[dumbledearme]

chapter thirty-two—the nature of wisdom

read Child of Land and Sea here

Act IV — To Stop The Tide

Part VII — It’s not my fault if in God’s plans, He made the devil so much stronger than the man.

Luke was walking through the dark palace on top of Mount Tam. He was dressed for battle. He walked into a large courtyard where dozens of warriors and dracaenae were preparing for war. When they saw him, the demigods rose to attention. They beat their swords against their shields.

"Issss it time, my lord?" a dracaena asked.

"Soon," Luke promised. "Continue your work."

"My lord," a voice said behind him. Kelli the empousa was smiling at him. "You have a visitor," she told Luke. She stepped aside and Kampê came forward.

"You," Luke's voice sounded a little shaky. "I told you to stay on Alcatraz."

"I come to serve," she said. "Give me revenge."

"You're a jailer," Luke said. "Your job-"

"I will have them dead. No one escapes me."

Luke hesitated. "Very well," he said. "You will go with us. You may carry Ariadne's string. It is a position of great honor." Kampê hissed, turned and went pounding down the hallway. "We should have left that one in Tartarus," Luke mumbled. "She's too chaotic. Too powerful."

Kelli laughed. "You should not fear power, Luke. Use it."

"The sooner we leave, the better. I want this over with."

"Aww," Kelli sympathized. "You find it unpleasant to destroy your old camp?"

"I didn't say that."

"You're not having second thoughts about your own, ah, special part?"

Luke's face turned stony. "I know my duty."

"Good," the demon said. "Is our strike force sufficient, you think? Or will I need to call Mother Hecate for help?"

"We have more than enough," Luke said grimly. "The deal is almost complete. All I need now is to negotiate safe passage through the arena."

"Mmm," Kelli said. "That should be interesting. I would hate to see your handsome head on a spike if you fail."

"I will not fail. And you, she-demon, don't you have other matters to attend to?"

"Oh, yes," Kelli smiled. "I am bringing despair to our eavesdropping enemies. I am doing that right now." And she turned her eyes directly at Andy.

Suddenly Andy stood at the top of a stone tower. Daedalus was hunched over a worktable, wrestling with some kind of navigational instrument.

"Uncle," said a smiling boy, carrying a wooden box.

"Hello, Perdix," the old man said. "Done with your projects already?"

"Yes, uncle. They were easy!"

Daedalus scowled. "Easy? The problem of moving water uphill without a pump was easy?"

"Oh, yes. Look!" the boy dumped the box and showed the inventor some diagrams and notes. Daedalus nodded.

"I see. Not bad."

"The king loved it," the small boy said. "He said I might be ever smarter than you! But I don't believe that. I am so glad Mother sent me to study with you! I want to know everything you do."

"Yes," Daedalus muttered. "So when I die, you can take my place, eh?"

The boy's eyes widened. "Oh, no, uncle! But I've been thinking... why does a man have to die?"

The inventor scowled. "It is the way of things, lad. Everything dies but the gods."

"But why?" the boy insisted. "If you could capture the animus, the soul in another form... well, you've told me about your automatons, uncle. Bulls, eagles, dragons, horses of bronze. Why not a bronze form for a man?"

"No, my boy," Daedalus said sharply. "You are naive. Such a thing is impossible."

"I don't think so. With the use of a little magic-"

"Magic? Bah!"

"Yes, uncle! Magic and mechanics go together. With a little work, one could make a body that would look exactly human, only better. I've made some notes."

"Enough," Daedalus said.

Perdix didn't seem to notice the old man's anger. The boy walked to the edge of the tower. The wind was strong. "Is it true your son died flying, uncle? I heard you made him enormous wings, but they failed."

Daedalus' hands clenched.

The wind whipped around the boy, tugging at his clothes, making his hair ripple. "I would like to fly," he added. "I'd make my own wings that wouldn't fail. Do you think I could?"

Daedalus picked up a metal bug, his eyes red with anger. "Catch," he said. He tossed the bronze beetle toward the boy. Delighted, Perdix tried to catch it, but the throw was too long. The beetle sailed into open sky, and Perdix reached a little too far. The wind caught him.

Somehow, he managed to grab the rim of the tower. "Uncle," he screamed. "Help me!"

"Go on, Perdix," Daedalus said softly. "Make your own wings. Be quick about it."

"Uncle!" the boy cried as he lost his grip. He tumbled toward the sea. Then thunder shook the sky and Athena spoke from above – "You will pay the price for that, Daedalus."

"I have always honored you, mother," Daedalus scowled. "I've sacrificed everything to follow your way."

"Yet the boy had my blessing as well. And you have killed him. For that, you will pay."

"I've paid and paid," the old man growled. "I've lost everything. I'll suffer in the Underworld, no doubt. But-"

"You will pay forever," Athena said coldly. Suddenly, Daedalus collapsed in agony, a searing pain closed around his neck like a molten-hot-collar, cutting off his breath, making everything go black.

Andy tried her best to convince Nico to go with them, but it was no good. Every time she spoke he seemed to hate her more.

Eurytion said the boy could stay at the ranch. "I reckon you'll be looking for Daedalus' workshop now?"

Anthony's eyes lit up. "Can you help?"

Eurytion pulled a necklace from under his shirt – a smooth silver disk on a silver chain. The disk had a depression on the middle, like a thumbprint. He handed it to Anthony. "I don't know where it is. But Hephaestus would. He comes here from time to time. Studies the animals and such so he can make bronze automaton copies. Last time, I- uh, did him a favor. A little trick he wanted to play on my dad and Aphrodite. He gave me this chain in gratitude. Said if I ever needed to find him, the disk would lead me to his forges. But only once."

"And you're giving it to me?" Anthony asked.

Eurytion shrugged. "You did me a favor, son of Athena, ridding me of that jerk. Besides, I don't need to see the forges. Got enough to do here. Just press the button and you'll be on your way."

Anthony pressed the button and the disk sprang to life. It grew eight metallic legs. Anthony yelped and dropped it. The spider scrambled to the cattle guard and disappeared between the bars.

"It's not going to wait, you know," Eurytion said.

Anthony wasn't anxious to follow, but they didn't have a choice. He thanked Eurytion and they hushed into the hole, back into the maze. The spider scuttled along the tunnels fast, most of the time they couldn't even see it. But Tyson and Grover, thank the gods, could hear it.

They ran down a marble tunnel, then dashed to the left and almost fell into an abyss. They had to cross monkey bars to get to the other side. Tyson gave Grover a piggyback ride.

The tunnel opened up onto a large room. A blazing light hit them. A monster stood on a glittery dais on the opposite side of the room. She had the body of a huge lion and the head of a woman. Tyson whimpered, "Sphinx."

Anthony started forward, but the Sphinx roared. "Welcome," she announced. "Get ready to play... Answer that riddle! Pass the test, you get to advance. Fail, and I get to eat you. Who will be the contestant?" Anthony elected himself. "Welcome, Anthony Chase," the monster cried. "Are you ready?"

"Yes," he said. "Ask your riddle."

"Twenty riddles, actually."

"But back in-"

"We've raised the standards. To pass, you must show proficiency in all twenty. Isn't that great?"

Anthony glanced at Andy nervously. Andy raised her thumbs encouragingly. "Okay," he said. "I'm ready."

The Sphinx's eyes glittered with excitement. "What is the capital of Bulgaria?"

"Sofia," he said promptly, "but-"

"What is the square root of sixteen?"

"Four, but-"

"Which U.S. President signed the Emancipation Proclamation?"

"Abraham Lincoln, but-"

"How much-"

"Stop!" Anthony told her. "These aren't riddles. It's just a bunch of dumb, random facts. Riddles are supposed to make you think."

"Think?" The Sphinx frowned. "How am I supposed to test whether you can think? That's ridiculous. Now, how much force is required-"

"What happened to 'What walks on four legs in the morning'?" he asked. "That's what you used to ask."

"Exactly why I changed it. You already know the answer. Now-"

Anthony shook his head. "I refuse to answer you any further."

"Um, Tony," Grover said, "Maybe you should just, you know, finish the test."

"I'm a son of Athena," he said proudly. "This is an insult to my intelligence. I won't answer these questions."

"Why, then," the monster said calmly, "If you won't pass, you fail. I shall eat you." The Sphinx bared her claws and pounced. Tyson charged and tackled her midair and they crashed sideways. Anthony drew his knife, but Andy stepped in front of him.

"Put your cap on!"

"I can fight!"

"No!" Andy told him. "She wants you! Let us get it!" The Sphinx knocked Tyson aside and tried to charge past Andy. Grover poked her in the eye with somebody's leg bone. She screeched in pain. Anthony put on his cap and vanished.

"No fair!" the Sphinx wailed. "Cheater!" And she turned to Andy who drew Riptide, but Tyson grabbed a boulder and threw it at the Sphinx. They all dashed for the far tunnel. The Sphinx started to follow, but Grover raised his reed pipes and began to play. Roots grew from the ground and wrapped themselves around the monster's legs. They ran and ran until they could no longer hear her roars.

Eventually, they found the spider banging its tiny head on a metal door. It was oval, with metal rivets around the edges and a wheel for a doorknob. Tyson turned the wheel. As soon as the door opened, the spider scuttled inside with Tyson right behind it. The rest of them followed.

The room was enormous; like a mechanic's garage. "Well, well," a deep voice boomed. "What have we here?" Hephaestus appeared before them. His left shoulder was lower than his right. His head was misshapen and bulging. He wore a permanent scowl. "Half-bloods," he grunted. "Satyr." Then he saw Tyson. "A Cyclops! Good, good. What are you doing traveling with this lot?"

"Uh..."

"Yes, well said," Hephaestus agreed. "So, there'd better be a good reason you're disturbing me."

"Sir," Anthony said hesitantly, "we're looking for Daedalus. We thought-"

"Daedalus?" the god roared. "You want that old scoundrel? You dare to seek him out!" His beard burst into flames and his black eyes glowed.

"Uh, yes, sir, please," Anthony said.

"Humph. You're wasting your time, you know." He frowned at Tyson. "I sense you have something to say, young Cyclops. Don't be shy."

Tyson hesitated. "We met a Hundred-Handed One." Hephaestus nodded. "He was scared. He would not help us. Briares should be strong! He is older and greater than Cyclopes. But he ran away."

Hephaestus grunted. "There was a time I admired the Hundred-Handed Ones. Back in the days of the first war. But people, monsters, even gods change. You can't trust 'em. Look at my loving mother, Hera. She'll smile at your face and talk about how important family is, eh? Didn't stop her from pitching me off Mount Olympus when she saw my ugly face."

"I thought Zeus did that to you," Andy said.

"Mother likes telling that version of the story," he grumbled. "Makes her seem more likable. Blaming it all on dad. Truth is, she likes families, but a certain kind of family. Perfect ones. She took one look at me and... well, I don't fit the image, do I? No, young Cyclops. You can't trust others. You can't trust anyone. Just the work of your own hands."

Andy thought that sounded kind of lonely.

Hephaestus focused on her. "Oh, you don't agreed, do you?" he mused. "I don't expect you to, demigod. You heroes seem to think that friendship will help you go the distance. What did you come here to ask of me?"

"We just need to find Daedalus," she told him.

"He won't help you."

"Why not?"

Hephaestus shrugged. "Some of us get thrown off mountainsides. Some of us... the way we learn not to trust people is ever more painful. It isn't wise to go looking, girl."

"My mother says looking is the nature of wisdom," Anthony said.

Hephaestus narrowed his eyes. "Athena is a fine goddess. A shame she pledged never to marry. All right, half-blood. But there is a price for what you ask."

"Name it."

Hephaestus laughed. "Oh, you heroes. Always making rash promises. All the better. I need you to go to Mount St. Helens. That is where the monster Typhon is trapped. He's restless with the Titan rebellion. Always a chance he'll escape. Lately, I've sense intruders in my mountain. Someone or something is using my forges. Then sense my presence when I go there to check and vanish. Something... ancient is there. Evil. I want you to know who dares invade my territory, and if they mean to loose Typhon."

"You just want us to find out who it is?"

"Aye," Hephaestus said. "Go there. They may not sense you coming. Find out what you can. Report back to me, and I will tell you what you need to know about Daedalus."

The spider led the way. When they reached a tunnel with tree roots however, Grover stopped dead in his tracks. He stared open-mouthed into the dark tunnel. "This is the way," he muttered in awe. "This is it."

"You mean... to Pan?" Andy asked.

Grover looked at Tyson. "Don't you smell it?"

"Dirt," Tyson confirmed. "And plants."

"Yes! This is the way! I'm sure of it!"

"Well," said Anthony, "we'll come back on our way to Hephaestus."

"The tunnel will be gone then," Grover said. "I have to follow it. A door like this won't stay open."

"But we can't-"

"I have to, Tony."

The two of them faced each other.

"We'll split up," Andy decided.

"No!" Anthony said. "That's way too dangerous. How will we even find each other again? And Grover can't go alone!"

"I will go with him," Tyson said. "Goat boy needs help. I am not like Hephaestus. I trust friends."

Andy had never been so proud.

"We will find each other again," Grover told Anthony. "Andy and I still have the empathy link."

Anthony nodded reluctantly. "Be careful," he said. He seemed so miserable, like he cursed the day he'd walked into this maze. He turned his back to his friends and followed the spider without another word.

Grover and Tyson went the other way, disappearing into the tunnel of tree roots.

"We will find them," Andy said, trying to keep up with Anthony's strides. He didn't say anything. He took her hand, as if to make sure he still had her there, and pulled her into the darkness.