#hhhhhhhh i aM PRETENDING I DO NOT SEE IT!!!!!

[blackparadedean]

[tempestandtea]

Tag Game: Eight Shows to Get to Know Me

shoutout to @agent-p-94 and @h3rmitsunited for tagging me here and here, respectively <3 (shhhh pretend like you both tagged my personal blog so I don't have to post this in two different places)

The X-Files -> I grew up on this show <3 I used to come home from school in the fifth grade to watch reruns on tv with my mom and I rewatch it every year basically.

Interview with the Vampire -> if Claudia has a hundred fans, I am one of them. if Claudia has one fan, it's me. If Claudia has zero fans, I am dead.

Shrinking -> watched this relatively recently, but I really enjoyed it! there's some rlly good writing in there, and I found the characters to be fun.

The Good Place -> hhhHHHHH this is one of those shows that I wish I could watch again for the first time ESPECIALLY for the s1 finale twist.

Killing Eve -> look, I live in a fantasy world where the final season never aired and phoebe waller-bridge never left as a writer. mainly, i'm just here for the women... and kenny (rip kenny)

The Witcher -> dumb stupid show that got me through lockdown and back on Tumblr. got into it because the premise reminded me of d&d and because I saw a single, solitary gif of yennefer setting an entire army on fire (girlboss moment).

New Girl/Community -> tied bc they're both sitcoms that remind me of my friends from my final year of undergrad because that's who forced me to start watching them with them, so it's a comfort thing by default now.

DGHDA -> got into it in december in the middle of my finals season. I am incapable of being normal about this show and this is news to absolutely zero of you. I do not need to expand upon this point.

tagging uhhhh @parallelunivrses, @santabarbara-skies, and oh god I've run out of people but anyone else who sees this and wants to

[aplaceforsecrets]

12, 24, 28, and 33?

12. Edging or overstim?

Edging. I love overstim, especially the idea of overstimulating a partner until they're crying and begging for me to stop, but I much prefer edging my partners until they're just stupid with need, and then, you know... not letting them come. (Ideally. If they're into that, of course.) A personal favorite of mine is to make my partners beg to not come :) I love coming up with reasons that they shouldn't come, and then making them beg me to deny them before I let them stop touching themselves :))

(I might be a little bit of a monster.)

24. What kind of nudes are your favorite?

I'm so easy, you have no idea XD Uhmmmm

The kind taken for me? XD Orrrr you know, nudes with some bdsm... stuff. Like redness or marks (all the better of they're because of me), or in poses like on their knees, or their mouth open with their tongue out, that kind of thing XD

But really I cannot overstate how much I like all kinds of nudes, just in and of themselves XD

(A naked hot person! Being shown to me!)

(!!!)

28. How do you feel about pain, either giving or receiving?

Giving: I love it. So much. Number two kink, after like, d/s more generally. I love making people hurt just so, so much. Makes me lowkey feel like I'm going out of my mind. One of the kinks I have that I need to be careful with because my love of pain is fairly unbounded, so I need to be careful and actually pay attention to my partner instead of my own libido so I don't make them safeword or (much worse) go over their limits. But yes, god, I love pain so much. All kinds: impact play ~everywhere, genital/tit torture with things like clothespins and nipple clamps and weights, sensation play like tiger balm/menthol/peppermint oil/stinging nettles on... various places, predicament bondage with bits tied to other bits, large object insertion, face slapping, electrostim, gosh, am I missed anything? I must be. If it's something that doesn't break the skin or permanently mark someone, I probably love it XD

I have no idea why but just hhhhhhhh

Receiving: Eh. I've bottomed for impact play twice now, and my official stance is like... "this sucks" XD Not like, hugely, triggeringly sucks. Just like, sucks. Not a fan of pain.

33. How far out does your cnc kink extend?

Depends on how we're talking. For now at least, I don't think I'm comfortable topping a cnc scene. I'm so scared about hurting my partner, them (pretending) to resist and suffer would probably trigger me badly enough I'd need to safeword out. For the same reason, fantasies of topping a cnc scene also isn't something I'm super interested.

But if we're talking in like, fiction? Like.... pretty far! Like, I'm talking the c-less, never-c kind of cnc. Honestly, I might even prefer that to the like... stockholm syndrome kind? Abduction, blackmail, enslavement, non-consensual body modification, all the hardest kinks on a captive...

I guess actually, here are some things I really don't like in cnc stories:

drug-based cnc. So like, for abductions, slipping something into the other person's drink is a bit :|| And sexual acts on a drugged-unconscious captive is a serious turn off. (Aphrodisiacs and sex pollen kind of stuff is a big plus)

use of the word "rape". I just... cannot handle that at all.

things that resemble real world domestic abuse too closely (hard to describe, but I know it when I see it)

beating someone up (like literally punching or kicking them in the face or the side, that kind of thing)

male tops (double-standard, I know). Not 100% of the time, but def puts it on the edge for me

penetrative sex when the bottom isn't aroused by it

Such a weird, finicky looking list, really >.>

But yeah, as an example, this story is like So CNC, but is still a favorite:

[mellow-worlds]

I think I'm relapsing. I want to feel good and be better so I can be a good friend, extroverted and open and loveable and kind and I want to talk to people and I want people to see me in a good light. But I'm so fat and I don't know how to deal with that. I want to be skinny so bad. I'm so scared that I'll fail again which is why I think that I should mainly focus on exercising. Either way, I'm fasting. I don't know when I'll stop, but probably tomorrow morning. I'm so scared of being fat and I hate being like this. My will is so weak. I swear. It's so weak. I'm so embarrassed and I'm a failure. I shouldn't go too heavy which is why I think that stopping the fast tomorrow morning is a good idea. I'm so embarrassed. I can't decide whether I should get better or starve to death. I don't know why I'm relapsing. I'm doing ok though. I'm doing ok. I'm not cold because I'm so emaciated, in fact, I'm so fat. I'm so freaking fat. I shouldn't think that I'm already in danger or anything. I'm just fat. I'm so fucking fat. And I'm so scared of failing again and becoming even more fat. I couldn't bare that and I just want to be skinny. I don't know what to do. I'm so scared. I hate my body but I just want to be happy. I want to be happy. I want friends and I don't ever want to be alone. I need to eat less and exercise more. I shouldn't try to eat less, eating little should come naturally. I should just try to eat healthily. I should try to be healthy and work out and move around and build muscle and lose fat. I'm literally so scared. I feel so stupid. I'll do my best. I'm fearing that my best is not enough. Why am I like this? Why do I relapse and why did I get anorexia in the first place? I'm so embarrassed. I have nothing to show for. All of my pain is nonexistent. What I eat in private I wear in public, and what I feel in private no one will ever see. My pain is in vain and no one cares. Maybe that's why I keep relapsing. I'M SO SCARED. Goddammit I just want to be skinny. And I'm so scared of tomorrow. At least I'll see my friends. I mean I'll get through it somehow, no? I have to. I'm so scared. I shouldn't think about this stuff. I should just do what comes naturally. I'll stick to my workout plan and try to eat healithily, but not trying to push it. I can do this. It's ok. I might be a failure but I literally can't be a failure agian if I stop trying. Isn't that being even more of a failure? It is. I'm a fraud and a liar and I pretend to have problems I don't. My last few "anorexic" episodes have lasted two weeks, maybe less. I'm a fraud. I'm a fraud. I'm a failure. I pretend to have problems I don't. I'm so embarrassed. I have nothing to show for.

Do I just want attention? I guess I do. I guess I do. That's even more embarrassing. I should die. I watn to die. Why do I feel like this again? I thought this was just about weight loss`? Idk what to do anymore. I guess I just don't know what to do and always default to wanting to kill myself. If I lose enough weight, will I be able to love myself? will I? Will I ever? Can't I just love myself? Can't I just forget about my ed and just be happy? Can't I? Can't I? Please. Ok. So. I'll try to lose a little weight. Not too much. Though yes, I have an ugw. At least I'm not too delusional. hhhhhhhh. I wish I was the way I was when I was a kid. Skinny but unworried, I mean. Ok. Yeah. I'll not try to give myself anorexia again and I don't want to relapse. But I'll watch what I eat, eat in moderation and be careful. I'll also work out and try to do cardio often. I'll be fine this way. I'll feel better and maybe even look better. I'll be fine. Everything is fine. I don't want to have anorexia. I should try to replace it with healthy eating and exercise. I should focus on getting stronger. I'll be fine.

[postmodern-blues]

first listen to rhys and ianto’s excellent barbecue: a saga

I’m just gonna put all my thoughts in order while I listen to this audio and do my homework. I’ll tag it for spoilers, but I’ll also put everything below the cut in case you haven’t listened to it yet <3 um also i do a lot of swearing be warned...

last warning, yall, lots of spoilers and quotes ahead:

Rhys’s friends call him RHYSIE and I Am So Soft For This.

“I’m making my Special Sauce” god if Jack were here....

I love how Torchwood writers can’t even find a way to write RHYS in a straight way. He’s so cute and AHSDHGHFDAS I LOVE THIS SO FAR

the meat jokes.... already.... let’s hope serentiy Ianto does not resurface

IANTO! my god I have missed my boy. HE IS BACK

Oh my god... oh my fuck.... he’s so CUTE i might need to take a breather.... dude....

Gwen looking out for Ianto, inviting him to Rhys’s stuff. DID SOMEONE SAY FOUND FAMILY HMMMM

“lads, lads, lads” I WENT FERAL WHEN I HEARD THIS IN THE TRAILER

“Jack’s sorry he couldn’t come” hhhhhhhh one sausage comes off the barbecue and he’d be like “this is quite homoerotic” HAIJFODHS

Rhys come on,,,, baby,,,,, do not be homophobic about this

I get the feeling I might be going too crazy about this,,, WE’RE ONLY FIVE MINUTES IN

godDAMNIT THIS IS THE SHIT I’VE BEEN CRAVING EVER SINCE GHOST TRAIN afdsohfs

Ianto brought Chardonnay....

“Except Banana boat, he’s a bit thick” AGFDKHDGS R H Y S

oh shit alien things are happening

“yes, RHYS, I know how to discuss my TOP SECRET work at a social event” he’s fucking ICONIC

“you have an inability to call each other by your proper names” my sister is just like this tho... she calls all her friends by anime character names.. little bit better than ‘sticky jeff’ but not much

Ianto being oblivious to Rhys’s gender role shit is just,,,, I STAN HIM

If Ianto and Rhys do not take a ride in the pink car by the end of this audio I’m suing

jkjk but that would be so great wouldn’t it

godDAMNIT i love this audio

"we.... don’t” yet again, it is the 21st century, and torchwood is sooo not ready

“It’s the BOYS’ barbecue” rhys and his friends seem like they have a very cute queerplatonic relationship. wonder if they wear socks when they’re doing “barbecues”

who the fuck is steven.... whAT IS GOING ON

“I don’t know him THAT well, but there’s no way he would call me love” u sure abt that rhysie

“if u run headfirst into an invisible wall, at least let me FILM it on my phone” these two i stfg

this ‘time bubble’ concept has SO MANY FIC POSSIBILITIES why is big finish spoiling us-

jack and gwen going for pizza instead of being at work AHHDOFDGSHK 

oh my GOD THE CALLBACK TO DISSECTED!!!!! this is like when gareth called back to The Last Beacon in Dinner and a Show AHHHH

I am reminded about martha and gwen,,, i am happy,,, the PARALLELS

these two arguing dude the TENSION.. the SUBTEXT

“god help you if you ever hear about pink wine” SFIHOJADHGF 

i swear half my commentary here is me quoting something funny and then keyboard smashing

Ianto is fucking ANNIHILATING Rhys here and by extension gender roles. Goddamnit THIS is the conversation we needed. I love him so much can you tell

“you LOVE each other” I’ve only had this audio for about half an hour but if anything fucking happens to it, i’ll kill everyone in the room and then myself

i don’t think you understand how goddamn adorable rhys is about his friends

“thank fuck none of them are here right now” mate my man badger calls you RHYSIE i don’t think it would affect them

I am so thankful Jack isn’t here because oh my g o d this would be an hour long block of innuendos. this whole audio is just exposing the very prominent homoerotic tendencies of straight men

sometimes, and by that i mean all the time, i wonder if my family hears me listening to big finish and wonders if i’m actually just watching porn. and honestly I think it would be a whole lot less embarrassing if i just told them i was watching porn instead of “yeah it’s this scifi thing these characters are trying to make a hole in an invisible time force field thing. are they gay? no, well, i mean, yes, but not like that! welllll, a little bit like that, but it’s NOT PORN”

“what the hell was that rhys? You Absolute Idiot.” AHHH THESE TWO

“let’s stuff it full of sausages” 

GWEN AND IANTO TELLING EACH OTHER STORIES ABOUT THEIR IDIOT HUSBANDS IS MY LIFEBLOOD FUCKKKKKK

“back pocket” THIS IS SENDING ME BACK TO MY SHERLOCK FANDOM DAYS (fucking remember john getting sherlock’s phone out of his coat that he was wearing? that’s what this is)

Rhys pretending to be Steven (Stephen?) is,,,,, oh my god,,, this is too fucking intense

god i feel so bad for rhys,,, seriously

ohmygodddddd

this took a serious turn I was not prepared for

also gwen wanting rhys to talk to ianto is,,, ughhhh i ship gwen/rhys sooo hard

rhys- baby- oh my godohmygodohmygod

im like,,, IM CRYING BRO THIS IS

“I DO love them” hhhhhh

the special sauce thing is sending me im sorry

“can we rescue the beer?” RHYS

‘Ianto you beautiful man, you did it!” THEY!!! THEY!!!!!!

i wanna make it clear that i don’t ship rhys and ianto but i think they are so cute as friends

guys im in tears right now

the way rhys goes from not wanting ianto here to not wanting him to leave,,, um its a simple arc but i’d also do anything for it

RHYS AND GWEN RHYS AND GWEN RHYS AND GWEN ANDHDHSGHFAOSDLSDLHD

“OH HE’S ADORABLE WHATS HE CALLED?” me when i first saw Ianto Jones onscreen

“he’s a colleague of the missus,,,,,, and a friend” why don’t you just shoot me in the head hm

rhysie,,, baby,,, holy shit you need to go to therapy,,, just like,,, have a chat with janet the weevil and see how you feel after

funny how rhys fucking williams is handling loss so much better than ANY of torchwood. like jack got PREGNANT after losing owen+tosh. Ianto started having sex with his immortal boss after losing his girlfriend. healthy coping mechanisms? who is she?

they let rhys say fuck a lot in this audio and that is Very Sexy of Them

“bunny has run away with my tie” h e s s o f u c k i n g p r e c i o u s

“lads lads lads” AHHHHHHHHH

this audio. is. so good. so cute. so sad. BIG FINISH YOU DID IT AGAIN YOU SEXY BASTARDS YOU!!!!

[originalcontent]

Oooookay. Welcome back. Posting about pathologic part 4 I think? Part 4. We just reached Act 4 too, so everything’s going according to schedule. This gaming session had some ups and downs. Ups: That good good lore, and a lot of quality time spent with my good pals Daniil  and Changeling and also Clara apparently, although she might not be my good pal after all, but w/e. Downs: FUuuuUUUUCKkkk we are so bad at video games, and also the kin folk have become A Lot, holy shit. Where to start.

Okay so this time the game wasn’t actually super stressful for me personally bc this time I kind of just handed off the controls to my sister every time shit got dangerous. She’s a lot better at video games than me. Shoutout @akpaley​ for keeping me from dying from stress in real life.

The drawback of this is that since she’s a lot better at video games she’s also a lot more willing to actually take risks rather than just running away from literally everything. Which I won’t deny, has gotten us a lot of much-needed money and resources but also.

WELCOME TO THE FUCKING DEATH SPIRAL PART OF THE GAME. I guess it had to happen eventually, right? Fuuuuuuuck us, do you have any fucking idea how much shit you have to redo when you’re randomly shanked by some dude every fifteen minutes? And they’re harder to fight every time we come back, apparently, and also our health is like permanently half gone? Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck why are there not more clocks.

Victor Kain, you were the one who made the clocks?? I could fucking kiss you. I owe you my life. Or like, six hundred of my lives. Hhh.

Okay, seriously though, the clock lore is actually kind of sick. Victor told us that they’re smaller versions of the cathedral, and we were like “!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THaT’S WHerE wE RESET THE GaME IN THe PROLOGUE!!!!!!! METAPHYSICS!!!!!!!!!” The Kains are so cool.

(Maria Kaina got infected tho. Sorry, you. :( Although technically that happens later.)

Um, we gave the rest of our shmowder to Khan. We’re out now. We’ve been looking for more but haven’t found anything.

Also we made a random potion, and the plague showed up and was like “fuck you,” and I was like “damn, calm the hell down, you’re the one fucking killing people.”

Met with the Saburovs more. They were like “we have another suspect!” and I was like “yeah they probably don’t but w/e” and my sister was like “they’re in an infected land and we should probably save their lives” and I was like “why do we care about helping the Saburovs again, literally all they do is accuse random people of killing my dad, the Kains are obviously the best family, we should just be throwing in with them” and she was like “that’s not all they do, they also run the guards, you know those guys who patrol plague districts?” and I was like “okay fuck you’re right let’s visit them” and it turns out that that there was actually some super cool lore pertaining to the town’s mistresses. Also, god if they don’t have some cool reflections. I love everything about this town’s history.

Afterwards we randomly decided to visit Yulia for literally no reason, and she was like “I’m glad you’re here, I have a lot of super heavy important shit to discuss with you about the Inquisition that will be here tomorrow, it sure is convenient that you’re in my neighborhood for some reason even though I live in an incredibly inconvenient location?” Also she knows something about the nature of Artemy, Daniil, and Clara-or maybe the Changeling but she called her Clara? Oh yeah, Daniil was there too for some reason. Poor guy, I don’t think he’s okay. He cried on my shoulder a lot, he was endearingly open and earnest and for once I felt bad about the dialogue options wherein Artemy throws shade.

And then Clara happened to be standing outside literally right then? I wonder if that was going to be a big quest location and we just happened to arrive right before the game told us to go there anyway. I think that’s it actually. We’re so good, damn. Clara keeps pulling shit and then immediately trying to reconcile and asking for help. I really like her, but we really shouldn’t be trusting her right?

Oh Murky was also there and she set up a meeting between us and her “friend” and that night we went and Clara and Changeling were both there and I’m so confused???? What is her deal? But!! Changeling facilitated a deal between me and the plague! And Murky is now off the hit list!!!!!!!!!! Does this mean she’ll live? Anyway the plague started talking to us, and our infection rose a bit in an unhealable way, and, dumbasses that we were, said “wow this is probably all just the natural consequence of the bargain we made. Guess there’s literally nothing we can do to address this.” (Spoiler: That is not the case, the cost of the pact was literally just that we became infected and would have to cure it with fire before it killed us. We figured that out eventually, I promise.)

Fast forward to the next day after we finish the day’s entire fucking plotline, when we have done literally nothing so our infection’s increased a shit ton and it starts actually killing us. And since we only have like half our potential health bar from getting killed so much, we literally can’t survive long enough to treat it. We run around trying to cure ourselves and die like ten more times before we finally accept that we just have to go back in time to before the infection was this bad, try to get cured immediately, and redo the whole day. There’s a whole fucking skeleton out by the theatre by now btw. Fucking death spirals. This play session took a long fucking time okay?

Alright, flash backward again. After talking with Changeling, we visit Stakh because after rescuing him twice in a row he promised we could talk. We go to his house and he’s sleeping, or maybe just pretending to sleep, but either way Artemy has the absolute sweetest little monologue, just talking to him, and so much has happened but I can tell there’s still a lot of tenderness there between them even if it’s buried deep, and it’s just such a soft scene against such a harsh story.

Guess who’s dead by morning.

The next day Aglaya showed up and was like “see me immediately,” so obviously we visit Capella and then town hall first off. Daniil’s there, he bitches to me about Aglaya for a bit. So cute, we really are friends. I promise to help him with corpse duty bc Capella wanted me to visit Grace anyway. We talk to the official people at the official desks, one is collecting babies, one is giving me some lunch money as a very good reward for being a very good little surgeon, and one is telling me that actually money is illegal now but here are some free coupons that actually are too cheap to buy anything with.

Aglaya is the woman from the prologue! Hhhh things are really building to a point, aren’t they. I wonder how Yulia knows her. But damn, the whole village was out there waiting to meet with her weren’t they.

I made a deal with the rat prophet to clear some space in the graveyard so Grace would be okay. Dunno what will come of that. I’ve been seeing him everywhere lately though.

I met with Oyun and gave him my dad’s house. I met with Aspity and was like “did you kill Stakh” and she gave me some vague shit, and in general I am very upset at the kinfolk right now but I tried to save them anyway. Went to the termitary and did the whole termitary thing. Wow that sure is a place, right? God, have I ever mentioned how much I love all the screaming soundtracks  in this game.

Damn, Taya’s whole child queen vibe is unsettling.

The whole termitary is horrible, and what the kin folk have been put through is horrible, but their obsession with blood and strength legit terrifies me. I’ve spent all my time until now trying to convince everyone that they aren’t bad, and that they aren’t to blame for the disease, but now they want to kill? And they really really really want me to be a killer too. And the whole thing with Taya is creepy as fuck too, she’s just a kid. Anyway, we’re sending Vlad the older to them, I don’t know whether he or his son deserves to be torn apart more, but Changeling was really upset at the idea of Vlad the younger going there, so I guess we’re backing her. We run all around town making sure the right Olgimsky is going, and then we realize we actually have a few hours left so we take a hospital shift too! And then we die of disease like six times.

Okay, flash forward again, we’ve gone back, gotten some guy to molotov cocktail us, redone the entire termitary thing, saved the game on Vlad’s clock after sending him to his doom (sorry dude). That’s where we’re at currently.

(Only it’s not actually, we went back and spent like an hour going back and forth between the termitary and Oyun again trying to deal with their shit, and everyone was like “murder all dissenters :D” and I was like “what the fuck” and the day was almost over but then a dude stabbed us and we randomly died, and none of these places had clocks, so at that point we were basically like “yeah it’s after midnight, let’s just call it quits.”)

Anything else......oh, the warehouses are at risk again. Notkin and Sticky, what would I do if anything happened to them. I hope my medicines are good enough, I gave some to Bad Grief too but now all there really is to do is wait. :(

Oh, I once again have thoughts on how fucking theatrical is it that everything in the game is simultaneously literal and metaphorical, it’s gorgeous, and have I mentioned the costuming choices for the Orderlies and the Plague, hhhhhhhh, not to say anything nice about Mark fucking Immortell, but he knows what he’s doing with this thing. Listen if this post weren’t already way too long I would just gush about the theatrical elements again, but sadly it is too long.

Okay, that was our latest session! We’ll be back either very soon or in like three weeks.

[daiki-defender]

What new anime have you watched this year that you really like so far?

in this specific order:

Yuri on ice!

after years of pretending i watched this show (bc it was/still is popular n just never got around to actually watching it) i finally sat down and watched this in one night. it was as good as people made it out to be. my emotions were through the roof. i loved the humour and the suspense wow i was fucking nervous for my boys. 

+ yuri plisetsky is adorable !! he pretends to be all tough but in reality he’s a soft babie like i cannot 😔

fav characters:

yuri’s, victor

otabek, seung-gil lee

Free!

i love this show to fucking death the feeling of basically, euphoria. like nothing will ever top the feeling i had when i watched this show. i have to wait until fucking summer for road to 2020. now you might think that’s not a big deal but i have important exams to give before that hhhhhhhh(the closer i am to the date the closer i am to giving them)

me literally half the time: RIN IRNDHEJEIRNRJ RIN rinnnn RINNN RIN HDBSJSNSJANKDBSJSNFJANSDJ

fav characters

rin, haru

kisumi, asahi

souske, nagisa, rei, makoto, izuya, 

ryuji, mikhail, natsuya

Given

Even though im a girl i related to the show a lot. This will always hold a special place in my heart. like wholesome gay relationships??? the fetishisers are quaking.

and some of the characters just… *exhales*

also the relatable moment when u find out someone you like is gay hehe

fav characters

Ritsuka, Mafyuu, Haruki, Akihiko

Ugetsu

K (K project)

the character dynamics were just *chefs kiss* i loved this show until s1 ep13 happened. i became salty as fuck while watching s2 but stayed strong bc of sarumi. those mfers r too cute 🥺🥺

fav characters:

mikoto, reisi

misaki, fushimi, kuroh, izumo

isana before s2 😐wtf was that?? literally so confused and sad bc he was never the same 😔

Durarara!

im currently on season 3 ep8. One of the most confusing shows with tons of characters but definitely worth it!

i understand most of the plot but just need to remember some new names. it rlly is refreshing to see every perspective but you also get annoyed bc you know everything that’s happening yet the characters don’t so there are so many misunderstandings that could’ve been avoided.

this anime had the most episodes/seasons yet it feel likes i’ve gone through it quicker. likc give me 4/5 hours and i will be done with the show. done 😭

what am i going to do after that?? im gonna feel so empty 🤧

fav characters:

izaya, shizuo and celty

tom and shinra

anri

kasuka and ruri

Prince of Stride:Alternative

this anime gave so much fucking anxiety ohmyfuckinggod knsdjknakjnds its bc i used to run for school 😐and literally worst feeling !!! esp seconds before the race i had like a zoo in my stomach hhhhh it’s a fucking anime 😭😭 regardless i loved the races

fav characters:

riku, takeru, kyosuke

heath, hozumi, reiji, tomoe, yuri, shizuma

Bungo Stray Dogs

i think this might just be my favourite anime 😶 like even higher than free! 😳it was kind of a crime solving anime which i loved !! + the fact that it had so many plot twists BRUH my mind was blown with how good the mini stories were and the fact that there is also powers involved??? *chef’s kiss* 

fav characters (based on how much i react when they’re on screen otherwise all of them except dazai n chuuya would be #2 lmfao):

dazai, chuuya

sigma, nikolai, fyodor, akutagawa, atsushi, tachihara, tanizaka, ranpo

kōyō, yosano, gin, kunikida, fukuzawa (i would put mori but he seems like a pedo jksbdkjas esp in the manga)

kenji, oda

Haikyuu!

i think no body is surprised at the fact that there is another sports anime on here.. how many is that now? 4?? 😭its not a lot but like this all within the span of 3 months ndjsbdjsbd im almost done with season 2

but let me tell u like i am so whipped for this show like its not even funny 😐a few episodes in and i felt like a proud mom whenever hinata and kageyama did their quick serve catching new characters off-guard,, best feeling ever 😌

like even when hinata just jumps im rlly happy bc everyone faces look stoopid 🤠

also dynamics!!! this show not only makes you feel rlly hyped but also the sense of humour makes my day 🥺and the way it captures you into the games as if you’re playing... wow.. 😔i like how it gets you to question what’s going to be the outcome when they like they’re doing ending serves n stuff

fav characters (this is so fucking hard and will probably change a lot):

kuroo, tsukishima, hinata, kageyama, kenma, bokuto, kiyoko, hitoka, nishinoya

keishin, suga, iwaizumi, oikawa, akaashi, yūji, tadashi, lev

ikkei

———————————————————

on my list:

wave!! (a sports anime... but hasn’t come out yet 😔)

tsukiuta

Tsurune (also another sports anime 😳)

[ilovechristopheralexandershaw]

What would your ideal drarry fic be? Like, how would they get together, what tropes would be involved, what would be your ideal story line? Any squicks or triggers or things you aren't interested in? Any HC's with the two of them? :D

THIS IS THREE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND SIXTY SEVEN WORDS OR SOMETHING HELP ME

Whoo boi, honey, lemme tell you, this answer gave me some s t r e s s. Tumblr, can you just...idk, have a save drafts option for asks? No?

Anyways, back to the point. Snuggle down into your blankets y’all, ‘cause this is gonna be one long post.

What would my ideal drarry fic be? Okay, siriusly, legit anything with angst. Copious amounts of angst. Drown me in the angst. I’m always willing to read an angsty fic, almost always as willing to read a fluffy fic and occasionally have an urge for smut but that’s like…every three months or so lmao. I prefer a story that isn’t based on the size of one’s cock. (Sorry if that’s a little crude). I’m fine with any length of fic, as long as it has a good story behind it and if it hopefully has some heart-wrenching moments that make me feel like I might have a soul after all. I love fics that keep their character – not too much, though – and have them arguing with each other all the time – its more real to me, and makes me laugh. I love drarry because of that, because it’s that ship that will keep their relationship, unlike idk shrek and Fiona who fall for each other and lose their old self completely. Drarry is that ship that stays intact and old and new at the same time, and that’s why I love it. 

How would they get together? I have this vision of the two getting together slowly. First it’s banter, insults, hexing, all the while having miscommunication and some serious pining because I’m an absolute sucker for that shit. As I said, angst. Hate turns to like and death threats to exasperated, witty little replies, private jokes between the two of them – a Malfoy Stinks embroidered on his robes in place of Healer Malfoy.

I love fics where there’s just that one, final leap of – I have to do it, otherwise I’ll never get another chance, I don’t care about the consequences. If it’s a kiss that gets them together, in that ‘final chance’ way, I love it when the other is too shocked, and the first person just loses all hope (I mean until like two seconds later when they’re snogging the life out of each other lmao). Basically just a slow build and all the sass 😊 

Tropes? Okay, I’m gonna admit that even though I’ve been in the fandom for a few months, I still can’t define so much, but I hope most of what I write here is legible.

I love coffeeshop Aus, I find them really cute and sweet, and a blushing Malfoy is always a bonus. Eighth year is my absolute jam, unless it’s a drinking fic in which case no thanks. I love friends to lovers or enemies to lovers – the slow build, especially if the author has timed it perfectly, is just argh, I love it. Pining has been mentioned like a hundred times already but I’m going to say it again just because. Roommates are okay, I guess, but not exactly my go-to. I do like muggle Aus, and even though I think Potter should be a teacher, I enjoy the action in an Auror Partners fic, too. Also uh..oops? This was supposed to be tropes that were involved not the tropes you like you dumb butt. That’s not what Nonny asked.

My ideal storyline for a drarry fic? Not sure if this is what you’re asking but I’m gonna go with it and if I’m wrong then I’m wrong y’know?

As I said, I like fics with pining. I love a number of storylines, but I’m just gonna choose one for this thing since it’s already almost if not over two thousand words (is anyone even reading this? Who cares, I’m having fun) okay I checked its like over 2600 help me. Also this turned out into a fic not an ideal storyline hhhhhhhh

I guess I like fics with slow-building pining, going from meeting together at work or having to work together for some reason in eighth year, or just seeing each other in eighth year. PTSD gets them together, but so does the (admittedly weaker) banter, since nobody understands either of them – the Saviour and the Ex Death Eater. The press is still going off about the war, and everyone has their own ways of coping. Soon enough, they’re friends – (ok let’s pretend this is eight year) and helping each other through the bad days. And soon enough, the insults that hit closer to home for others but not them, the inside jokes, the love of Quidditch, the homework assistance – all this time around each other turns to pining. Malf-Draco, with his white-blond hair and black turtlenecks that he kept even though that was what he wore as a Death Eater. With his now self-deprecating jokes instead of hurtful insults. With his smile, that shows his sneer lines of the past. With his blue-gray eyes. With his knowing smirk when they’ve done one of their own eighth year pranks. Even with his wonky Charms and obsession with stroking the Dark Mark and the way he stops in front of the Room of Requirement every time they pass. And Harry, with his mop of untidy hair and glasses that have had Reparo used on them who knows how many times by now? With his bright green eyes, with his surprisingly pale skin, with the way he disappears into the forest every now and then, staring at the clearing where Voldemort once thought him dead. They pine, they’re oblivious, and finally, Pansy spills it to draco, an exasperated ‘will you kiss him or not’ just as Harry rounds the corner in his invisibility cloak. ‘are you stupid. Pans? We’re just friends.’ (wow ideal storyline this is a mini fic by now what am I doing with life my math sheet is like right in front of me I should be doing that). The questions, that night, in their respective beds. And the finale, with Harry rethinking ‘we’re just friends’ in his head in the final Seeker-to-seeker game, Draco leaning in.

Finally. 

Okay, squicks. Here we go. First of all, I don’t really like fics where they speak really…I don’t know, childishly? To each other eg. too many cheesy pet names (‘Hi hun,’ he giggled, taking the offered plate), since my idea of drarry is a couple that banters all the time, not one that sits around squealing at each other. That’s the main reason I ship them, after all.

Another squick, although this just annoys me more than makes me uncomfortable, is when there’s a fic involving children where the author makes their speech like that of a baby. Five year olds and younger can make legible sentences, so it’s sometimes irritating when eight-year-old Scorpius is saying ‘dada give h-h-hoog’ if you get my drift.

Daddy kink is another thing. If you like it, good for you but personally, I- *shudders* no thanks. It’s just – okay, my dad’s like over fifty, and that’s what I imagine if I think of that. Sex with my dad? I’ll pass. Calling your boyfriend your ‘daddy’? I- no no no just no I’m sorry but no.

Okay, I’ll rephrase. Most, if not all kinks make me uncomfortable – I’ve said daddy already, Parseltongue (just any other language) is just weird to me (it’s not disgusting, I just find it kind of dubious I guess.), any sort of pet play is similar if not worse than daddy kink, choking or breath play sounds more like rape (I’m crude, handle it), lingerie is just hella weird and I don’t even want to know what tentacles are, thank you very much. I’ll stick to my vanilla sex.

Any sort of sex toy/tool use is also a squick (including painful BDSM stuff), but I’m not sure if that’s kink so I’ll just add it here.

I don’t mind OOC fics, but, again, if they’re too soft (unless it’s some sort of caring angsty oneshot e.g. most of @rose-grangerweasleyisbae ‘s ones) then they most likely don’t work with me either. 

Triggers? No, I haven’t read any fics that have triggered me in any way and I’m not sure if I have any. Most are squicks.

Fics, or tropes, I guess, that I’m not interested in would include either one being some sort of Magical Creature (although there are some exceptions – some writers make really good fics with these tropes), and by that I mean any humanoid creature such as a werewolf, vampire etc. Veela especially. Also, anything with mates. (Fun fact, in my first answer that got deleted, I wrote a headcanon fic thing with draco as a bowtruckle since I said I don’t know if that’s a squick bc I’ve never read it and decided to do it for fun)      

Dunno what this is, but I’m gonna include it as well – I also don’t like fics where their entire supposedly ‘loving’ relationship is completely based on sex. I’m okay with it if they’re supposed to be fuckbuddies at that point in the relationship, but if this is what the author is calling their ‘established relationship’, I don’t really like it. 

Any fic that loses the banter after their getting together, where their world and source of happiness is completely revolving around the other – that is also one of my disinterests. As I said, I ship drarry for the sass and banter (and angst). Not the sappy love. 

I don’t really like unhealthy relationships – I read a fic where the whole reason Draco allowed Potter to date him was because he complimented his flying skills, not because he liked him. That’s a really minor example, but basically any fic without actually liking each other or as I said, an unhealthy relationship, doesn’t take my fancy. Unless, of course, they’re fixing it. 

A fic that starts somewhere in the books, eg. third year or something, don’t normally take my fancy, but, again, there is the occasional exception that I turn out to love.

Not exactly Drarry but any poly relationships with the two of them are also a disinterest – I feel like they’re the ones for each other. Dunno if this sounds polyphobic or whatever it’s called, and it probably does, but that’s not it. I just personally don’t think Drarry need another person. Other ships, maybe. Drarry? Not for me. 

Eighth year fics that are based on drinking and drinking games also aren’t my thing (omg there’s like eight million alsos here what am i doing don’t shoot me please (ok i fixed it)). I just don’t like them. 

And fics with any sort of bonding lose my interest pretty quickly, especially sexual magic bonds. Mpreg, as well, again, I’ll read the occasional fic but most of the time I don’t really like it. 

Age difference, again, are something I find strange, and I can go on for hours but this is now around three thousand words and I should stop so y’all can go read your fics lmao.

 And um I’ll give you two headcanons as my way of apologising for the unbelievably late reply

 Harry, lying on the ground, blood dripping from a massive slash in his stomach, chest barely moving, lips slightly parted, tinged red with drying blood

Malfoy, now just a colleague, they’ve lost the schoolboy animosity, hovering over him, wand casting diagnostic spells even though he knows they’re no use – he knows the curse but he doesn’t know the exact variation – and the wrong healing spell will kill the Saviour – he can’t take that chance.

‘Scared, Malfoy?’

His head jerks up, pale eyes widening at the old question thrown back at him. Shoulders slump, his lungs heaving from all he spells he’s cast

‘Yes’ 

Idk just the idea of that final admittance – yes. Idk, just, my heart, man.

Okay headcanon 2 which is more of a fic by this point (someone help me im so bad at headcanons. Like this is all fleshed out in my head but ugh)

Eighth year holidays, Draco is sitting alone at the blazing fire in the common-room, strangely enough knitting, as he talks, friendly but quiet to a surprisingly happy Moaning Myrtle (the common room is where the old bathroom was)

Hermione Jean Granger sits down next to him and he flinches, almost expecting a slap like third year – he’s had hexes from Muggleborns who had nothing to do with the war, and here’s the Saviour’s friend – of course she’s gonna –

She pulls out a massive textbook, quill, inkpot, blotting paper and three rolls of parchmment from her bag, tucks her bushy hair behind one ear, and starts scratching away

He’s surprised, but still too nervous to ask why

It becomes a habit, her sitting there there, him as well, talking to Myrtle, doing Potions work, knitting as well

They start talking to each other, he finds out she Obliviated her parents and doesn’t want to come back just yet, even though she knows the Dark Lord’s gone

She finds out he’s too scared to go home, with all the memories

They become friends of sorts, helping each other when they can

When the holidays end, there are a few double takes, but nobody really questions it. After all, it’s Hermione, she never was too against Malfoy (nobody really saw that slap) and she’s always been a rule-follower. They assume its part of Mcgonagall’s asking for peace between Slytherins and Gryffindors

I mean, Ron does complain about her hanging about the ferret nowadays and not around her boyfriend, but he gets it. Besides, their ‘sessions’, if you will, are always when there’s Quidditch practice for Harry and Ron (they help train the younger years)

So yeah, it’s not too bad (and this isn’t Dramione I promise although I do ship it occasionally)

One day, though, she brings out a bundle of knitting herself. To his surprise, she knits a single sock and puts it in a box

He asks her why

‘For Dobby’

And he remembers. He remembers the strange little house elf, the one he loved as a kid but had no way of showing it. He remembers his father’s hatred of that elf in particular He remembers scowling at the poor thing, ranting to it – it was a way of venting, but in true Malfoy-raised fashion, he’d been so cruel to it as well, laughing as it jammed its fingers in doors, encouraging its pain.

He leaves the common room early that night

Next day, the Golden Trio isn’t there. Hermione (no longer Granger) isn’t there

He knitted a single sock that morning himself. He’d heard the story from their talks. He wanted to contribute. A way of apology, if you will. If it even counted. Today’s the day the elf passed away, and Hermione had said she put a sock in there for everyone

It’s pretty obvious where they’ve gone. He Apparates there after class, and finds the grave easily. It’s got a bundle of Conjured flowers, stems wrapped around the rock that serves as a headstone, and the box of socks is right there too. (what am I doing this is meant to be a short drarry hc and I haven’t even brought potter in yet help)

He starts crying

He spent last night remembering. Remembering how even through all the pain he caused that elf, a single smile, a single ‘thanks for listening, Dobby’ would make the elf bow and weep at his feet. He remembers how cruel he was, how the elf just…took it in his stride. He remembers losing the house elf, realising Potter had stolen something else of his. He remembers

And he lets it go. He spills all of it to a gravestone, apologies and ‘I know it won’t mean anything’ and ‘I didn’t know but that’s no excuse’ and ‘you always listened, how did you always listen?’ and ‘thank you’ and most of all ‘I’m so so sorry’ stumbling over each other as he tries to explain, to finally let it out

He’s crying and sniffling and that’s making it even harder to speak but he needs to say this, even though Dobby is dead, even though he’s apologised to so many people – this is one of the few that listened to him, and he’s treated the elf like garbage.

Tears drip onto the single sock in his hands

It’s hours later when he finishes. Well, not exactly finished, but he’s said enough that he thinks he’s explained himself and said sorry – even though it’ll never be enough. He’s cast a Light Charm (not a lumos ok it’s bigger don’t correct me) and he leans over to put the now-damp sock into the box too. A final ‘I’m so sorry’ and he stands up, turns around

And comes face to face with the Golden Trio

Hermione stares at him, then grabs him in a massive hug

Ron looks at him, slightly awkwardly but at her glare, he offers a tight smile

 And Harry? (wow how long has it taken for me to get here god) is just staring. Openmouthed. Who knew Malfoy had felt this much about a house elf?

And yeah that’s the point where he realises Malfoy isn’t that bad and then they go back to Bill and Fleur’s (Hermione explains along the way that they went back to the grave bc they saw the Charm and were in shock – was Dobby back?)

‘did you hear all of it?’

‘we heard enough, Draco’

 And when they get back to Hogwarts, well, it’s slow building at first. Potions help when Hermione’s out on a date with Ron, a butterbeer in the school kitchens on a Hogsmeade weekend when they want to hide from the public but enjoy the drink

But over time, the pining and the miscommunication and Draco getting back to his (albeit weak) banter with Potter leads to one thing. You know what it is.

Drarry

You know what I’m having fun writing trashy hcs so here’s a third (although it ain’t drarry. It ain’t any ship)

Alright so there is no hairdresser at Hogwarts or Hogsmeade or anywhere near the castle (I mean it was never mentioned in the books was it so this is possibly canon)

Therefore, most kids have to use spells

But we all know that each of us probably has a haircut that is somehow slightly different to one another, and there aren’t that many hair care spells in the world let alone known by a few teachers in Hogwarts

While some kids know exact spells, others, for example, Muggleborns, just use Diffindio

I mean, it gets their hair cut, yeah? That’s pretty much all they need

Of course, Hermione knows each and every spell but let’s not get to that

And Malfoy uses his own spell and a litre of Sleekeazy every morning

But since everyone else cuts their own hair, it looks as bad as each other

And that’s why Harry wasn’t teased too much about his hair (yes, also bc he’s the Saviour bUT STILL)

That’s why Sirius had long hair and etc.

Basically none of the kids at Hogwarts really had good hair and they all looked like Halt from Ranger’s apprentice (also this one is long as heck I could’ve just said everyone uses diffindio and there’s no hairdresser why am I like this)

[mlmwatch-headcanons]

(eating disorder warning) hhhhhHHH hey hi hello sorry if this is hella annoying but like,,,, could you maybe do some headcanons for zenyatta, genji, reaper, lúcio, and törbjorn (if that's too many feel free to knock some off that list) w an s/o who has anorexia/bulimia ? i just read an imagine on a different blog about this and they wrote it........rlly Not So Good and i am Uncomfortable fjfjfjdjdj

Idk if you do requests like this, but maybe Zenyatta and/or Genji with a reader who has an eating disorder? I’ve been dealing with EDNOS for a long time and it’s really beating me up lately 

Two birds with one stone, right? I’ll do three, if you still want Reaper and Torbjorn you can send the ask again for them! I hope I portrayed at least a little from EDNOS, bulimia and anorexia correctly- Mod Genji

TW: Eating Disorders

Lucio

He’s very positive and encouraging no matter what kind of day you’re having

He smiles and talks while you eat and won’t make eye contact if that helps. Just trying to distract you all in all

If you find a food you can eat he gets ELATED and probably lets it slip to his fans. He’s so happy he tells everyone, and even the people he doesn’t tell pick up on it when he comes back from the store with a cart full of it 

You end up with 50 boxes of whatever-it-is in Lucio’s PO box and a very angry mailman

If you can’t eat he’ll put soft healing music on to counter-balance the nausea and make you hot cocoa/tea

He hugs you every time you throw up without fail

Takes down the mirrors in your house after watching you stare at yourself for an hour 

“Now you have to see yourself through my eyes only!” 

“Well what do I see?” 

“The cutest man in the whole world!” 

Zenyatta

He’s not incredibly well versed in the intricacies of human illness, so he probably asks lot of medical questions

Never asks about your mental state, he already seems to understand that portion

He knows that it’s a bad day before you tell him. Keeps a healing orb on you at all times on the REALLY bad days

Doesn’t try to convince you that “Everyone is beautiful in their own way” or any overplayed stuff like that

His advice is about overcoming this challenge, about staring down your demons and deciding “I will not let you have me” 

He likes to remind you that the voice inside you telling you not to eat or to eat too much isn’t you. Impulsive thoughts aren’t who you are

Brings you smoothies or protein shakes and pretends they’re milkshakes  or slushies (he’s bad at lying on purpose and it’s adorable) 

Doesn’t make you do anything you are uncomfortable with, he doesn’t actually make you do anything at all. All he does is suggest things. He wants you to be the one who takes the lead in your recovery

Genji

Very cheesy/corny about it, but genuine and heartfelt

Tells you that you’re handsome/adorable/stunning/hot every morning and every night

Dares you to eat food as a way to motivate you (”This is way too spicy for you…. I bet $10 you can’t finish it”) 

Celebrates every pound you gain with over-the-top gestures and presents (Every. Single. Pound.)

On your bad days he’ll wax on pretentiously about how “orgasmically gorgeous” you are until you finally laugh

He picks up on the parts of yourself that you aren’t super confident about and compliments them till no end (this skill is one part zenyatta’s training and one part playboy training)

Takes you to every restaurant in the city and buys up all of his favourite products until you find something that you can enjoy eating

Anytime he sees your eyes go kinda glassy and he realizes you’re stuck in your head he’ll take off his faceplate because he knows you can’t keep your eyes off him when he does

Knows he’s corny but also knows that he helps 

[frukgeneral]

When you get this, respond with 5 things that make you happy. Then send anonymously (or not) to the last 10 people in your notifications. Have a nice day/evening! :)

Ohmg, I’d forgotten about happy things for a while hhh. 

1. When I finish reading a novel. It’s so satisfying, I love it. 

2. Writing positive things about myself. I have been going through depression and anxiety for a couple of years, so it takes a lot of energy for me to do something that can really relax me. My counselor gave me a list of positive traits, and I have been writing about each trait in a notebook (it says happy notes on the cover) with different colored markers, and when I really need it, I just hold it and look through the pages and I see “Oh, so I really am hardworking?” Or “I’d forgotten I could be creative.” 

3. I like to exercise. It makes me forget about stress I’ve been dealing with and I can just focus on walking or dancing or swimming or doing squats. It gives me a sense of fulfillment because “I did squats for today!” and “I swam without stopping on my last lap today!” 

4. Cooking is really fun even if it brings its own kind of stress because sometimes I have to cook all by myself or my family wants me to make this or that, but I do it alone with no help. But other than that, I like to cook and I’ve been told what I make is really tasty. 

5. Hhhhhhhh, this is a lot for me to think about. Going out with my friends makes me happy. I can really be myself with them and I don’t have to pretend or lie or just keep things to myself. 

Honorable mentions: sleeping, drinking water, looking at cat pictures/videos, and art/fics about my otps.