#there is no witcher s3 if i do not acknowledge it

[blackparadedean]

[wingsofhcpe]

yeah now I see why everyone's saying Netflix ruined the Witcher story in s3 and why Henry Cavill hightailed it the fuck out of there.

They ruined Dijkstra by making him a coward and a drunken fool by the end. They ruined Philippa by making her a "sexy dominatrix" cardboard cutout instead of the calm and collected mastermind powerhouse she's in the books AND it seems they'll give her secret magic meetings orchestrator role to Yennefer because fuck any female character who isn't her or Ciri, I guess. They changed Cahir's story for.... God knows why, actually. They FUCKED UP Fringilla and Fransesca and the emergence of the Dol Blathana kingdom, seriously I don't even know where to begin when it comes to these two.

And worst of all, the one thing I will absolutely never forgive them for: Tissaia.

My brave, strong, arrogant Tissaia, brought so low for a man. Making mistakes not because of her arrogance or her immense power and her belief that she was protecting what she treasured, but for a fucking love interest. Oh, but he turned her soft, she finally trusted, she was finally happy, she's better for it per Yen's literal words. And she gambled and lost not because of her unwavering beliefs, but because she was shagging Vilgefortz and he manipulated her.

The lightning scene and her hair turning white? Yeah, that was fucking badass. But since they went through all that trouble to keep her around longer/have her do more things, I don't understand why they had to kill her in the same way as the books in the end. With the path they chose for her, she should have died during the lightning spell. That would have been okay. But no, they had to do that part like the books, I imagine for shock value. And somehow, that made everything even worse.

CW for self-harm and suicide under the cut.

In the books, Tissaia taking her own life was not a dramatic, prolonged scene. It wasn't an emotional decision she took by smoking drugs and writing farewell letters. She made a mistake because of her own arrogance: not because of men or love but because she truly believed herself to be powerful and infallible and trusted herself to protect Aretuza. And so when she gambled and lost, taking her own life felt like her acknowledging her colossal mistake and not cowering at the face of consequences, but instead delivering those consequences herself, which only strengthened her image as a powerful, self-sufficient mage; she didn't even need someone else to point out her failures and deliver punishment, she did it herself. And to be clear here, I am not glorifying her act; suicide is no "proper punishment", nor should it be regarded as something admirable. All I'm saying is that it was very much in line with Tissaia's character and thematically fitting. This is fiction, not reality. Let us not confuse the two.

In the show, however? They dragged it out, they had Philippa rubbing her mistakes at her face, humiliating her in front of the other sorcerers. And the last straw for me was her conversation with Yennefer, because it really came off as Tissaia accepting that her living and staying strong and leading them would be the proper way to atone for what she did. It came off as Tissaia accepting responsibility, recognising the truth in Yennefer's words, and actually trusting in them. Then, the moment Yennefer looked away, she got high, made a callback to season 1 for... some reason with the rock and flower trick, and killed herself.

In the books, death felt like her righteous punishment that she accepted for her mistakes. Here, it felt like running away, choosing the easy way out and, ultimately, doing it all because of Vilgefortz.

And I am never, ever forgiving the show writers for that. Tissaia was my favourite character in the books, and they absolutely destroyed and humiliated her, and for what? For shock value and to prop up Yennefer. Because God forbid this show has more than one badass woman character in the lead. If yall wanted to change Tissaia's character you could have done that by keeping her alive, having her stand by Yennefer, maybe having lost her powers after thar spell but still being there to guide the new generation of sorcerers as they rebuilt their home- that would have been what book!Tissaia would have done as an alternative to dying. But no. You just had to make her a pathetic little coward whose actions were mostly because of her relationship to Vilgefortz. Taking away her strength and agency in every possible way.

I'm glad Cavill left this shitty-ass production and I honestly hope s4 flops SO bad you'll have to cancel s5 even if it's already renewed. Fuck this shit.

[steve0discusses]

Yugioh S3 Ep5: Happy Valentines Season the Writing Team Remembered YugixTea Exists

Alrighty, I’m mostly back together from nearly a week of the plague and now my buffer is basically demolished. Man. Youknow, every time I make a buffer this happens. Maybe I was just asking to get sick? That every time I finish a healthyish buffer my immune system just tanks in response?

Anyway, that’s fine because it’s been like a week now that I’ve been sort of wanting to talk about the massive amount of birds in this episode. Yeah, birds. I mean there’s no reason for me to try and hide the spoilers, I’m assuming 99% of y’all have seen this show. There were a LOT of birds.

Last we left off, Yugi decided to run headfirst into a trap door.

And then on the other side he was somehow amazed this was a trap?

Because there wasn’t either a mace or an ax handy to go through the wall like Tristan And Duke, instead Yugi has to end up in a Photoshop Filter.

Shoutouts to the overlay aurora borealis on top of this whole mess. This whole aesthetic here is just so nostalgic and I didn't even watch this show as a kid.

Man the 00′s were a great time. Speaking of great time.

We’ve had like 0 Joey for like 4 episodes and it’s been kind of incredible since this show leans pretty heavily on Joey. Like I have barely touched that mustard color in Photoshop, instead it’s been a lot of Tea, and I’ll be honest, about time. I have been saying for like 3 seasons now that this girl never has anything to do but be a ghost bus and a sort-of-not-really-gf to I guess Mokuba and sometimes Yugi but now she’s...still not doing a whole lot. I’ll be honest her new big thing is mostly running away from things, but at least now she now does Olympian feats while still doing nothing.

But all that’s gotta change because, much like Joey in S1, Tea’s gonna throw some cards with only like 2 games under her belt. 

So like, I was experiencing Witcher 1 the other day, and I don’t recommend it since Witcher 1 is not nearly as good as it’s sequels, but there’s this hilarious line where Witcher is gonna learn a dice minigame, and he asks his friend “how can I become a dice expert?” and his friend goes “Well that takes experience! Play 4 games.” and it’s like lol what? 4? That was all it need for ANYONE to be an expert, huh?

This is like that. Yugioh is a weird universe where Yugi is King of Games but he’s only been in one tourney and he’s only played this game professionally in a professional no-one-is-setting-anyone-on-fire setting like maybe 4 times.

Like everyone plays this game but the bar for entry is surprisingly low? All Yugi had to do was beat one guy by playing him once, really--just beat Pegasus and boom, King of Games. No wonder Seto was so freakin pissed.

Anyways, so the fact that Tea hasn’t really played is just like everyone else on this show.

(read more)

Anyways, after she ran 4 miles and climbed a bridge and all that, she decides, youknow what? Right here in this barren orc-filled desert is probably a safe place for a dream sequence.

And she dreams of the very last person I expected her to dream about.

So...I have questions about this dream sequence, ones that I will touch on later, but clearly Tea is getting some inception quality prophetic card knowledge from Yugi through a dream...however...Yugi isn’t actually doing anything right now. Right now Yugi is running through Tron so like...how is this happening?

Like is this just Tea actually knowing how cards work under layers and layer of subconscious? Because under layers and layers of Tea’s subconscious is actually SlightlyMoreOrLessEvil!Marik, who, as we discovered through last season’s plot twist is actually very, very bad at cards. Bakura might be still under there too, but he’s sort of everywhere just minding his own business so I doubt he’d bother coming out for Tea. Bakura’s still canonically dead/hanging out in Yugi’s Brain Labyrinth Game Room playing Gameboy Advance until Season 5.

I mean, it would be neat if Yugi actually could do this but like...he’s not actually here or at all aware that this is happening. Yes he has Ishizu’s necklace right now but will not use it this episode. This is just happening for no reason.

Which leads right into the second thing which is our most vague couple is finally going to get it’s own episode since like the beginning of season 2 and it’s literally all a dream.

Flashbacks to Yugi and Tea actually hanging out and talking one on one were all we really needed to stop calling this ship vague but eh this BARELY counts as it’s all one sided. This is just Tea doing all of this relationship herself. Which is pretty true to form as Yugi is a mess and can barely do relationships with himself at this point, let alone add a girl into the mix.

I feel like at this point a Broadway play about one single Yugioh card is waaaaaaay more likely than YugixTea ever like ever getting together (cuz like FOR REALS most Broadway is bad. Like legit not great). In fact, this make believe date they went on together is so far from reality--as it is not only a dream, but a dream in VR, and that even in the dream itself Yugi reminds her “PS, WE NEVER WENT ON THIS DATE, PS” and Tea’s like “that seemed open ended” and Yugi was like “NOPE.”

So this play is so terrible that it asks for audience participation and it turned her into a cosplayer.

So little aside, when I got my Netflix account the first thing I rented was Ironman, and then the second thing I rented, mostly out of morbid curiosity, was Cats.

Regrets. I like watching some pretty bad movies and plays but Cats is sort of like...if everyone dressed like personified leg warmers and made us pretend the leg warmers turned them into cats for some reason, and that the legwarmers were all in a polyamorous relationship with everyone else and got way too horny when they danced. And then they all died at the end/went to space/got reincarnated. But, I guess we have to give Cats some credit for basically launching furry technology forward like 50 years.

I am SUPER looking forward to the Cats movie. Probably will skip it in theaters but Netflix? Yes, please!

Anyway, Pharaoh was also here chaperoning these two like he always does although Tea has no idea what he looks like.

I just realized that, so far, every date we’ve seen with YugixTea, Yugi wasn’t even there. Like how does he keep managing to do this? The kid is managing this relationship like a champ being the supportive boyfriend or whatever and he’s not even there. Like damn.

A penguin.

so many penguins

Anyways, the animation team drew I want to say like 600 penguins for this episode. I just want to acknowledge their sacrifice for our behalf, so we could have this filler episode and watch an actual relationship blossom between Yugi and Tea but only in a dream sequence.

Because I notice art stuff like this, they did copy paste these penguins in a clever way so it wasn’t drawing 60000 penguins, but damn that’s still a lot of penguins.

My bro, the namesake of this blog, freakin loves penguins. So this entire episode he kept looking over at me and being like “right?! RIGHT!?” and it was like “wow, Bro they really made this show just for you huh?” and he was like “RIGHT?!?!”

So the thing about Crump is that he likes collecting numbers about people, which the show makes out to be strange but I have a bunch of accountant friends, and I once had one tell me that God was an accountant, and then he gave me some complicated explanation that I absolutely muted out of my memory. I once had a friend who had a fascinating spreadsheet on everywhere she lived and the friends she had, just to see if she could accurately display the percentage chance of who was dating, who was getting married, and the exact percentage of which of those broke up and the length of all of their relationships. And she was an art major.

I never saw those spreadsheets of love numbers, I only know they exist, and I have no idea where I stood on them. Sometimes I think about it. Is she still tracking me? I sure hope so.

Dude that one penguin on the right just

This show throws out the number 219 pieces of pizza like that was a bad thing?

I guarantee you, that eating 14 slices of pizza a year is a depressingly low statistic (assuming you don’t eat pizza when you’re 1 yo) That is only about 1.5 large pizzas a YEAR. That is nothing.

Course bear in mind I’m a Californian and I eat like...about 2-3 slices every time fast food pizza is offered me. And if I’m alone, well dammit I’ll eat.......more than that, we’ll just say. In fact, I just Marie Kondo’d my closet and found my college cookbook which was mostly me trying to replicate the CPK Thai chicken pizza as well as the CPK Pear Gorgonzola pizza (and may the CPK Pear Gorgonzola Pizza Rest in Peace, you perfect pizza. I have not returned to CPK once it left the menu. Bro hates this pizza but he is wrong.)

Like it sounds way nasty but I’m Californian so we don’t believe in food purity here. Put whatever the hell you freakin want on your dumb ass pizza. No food is sacred, no food will be left untouched, we’re all human beings, and everything you like is all going to be turned into pizza and tacos anyway. That is the way.

I’m pretty sure that I’ve only had 219 pieces of just Pear Gorgonzola Pizza (since it was a pricier pizza). Maybe Crump was just referring to the one type of zah?

Anyway, I got very distracted by pizza just now.

Tea heard Crumps offer to duel her in exchange for her body and she was like “I don’t really actually want to do that.” and just bounced.

I mean at least she tried to bounce. As it is, I’m glad Tea is like the only one here who at least has figured out that Cards are Dangerous.

And then an iceberg formed under her feet.

Meanwhile, Yugi has been sent to this room with four doors. Each door has a number of stars between one and four. Please remember he has Ishizu’s future necklace somewhere on his person and it could probably help him out but nah.

and then out of no where Yugi pulls this out of his pocket.

Another place where, because they localized the show to a ton of different countries, they decided to make a fake currency so people wouldn’t be thrown off by a Japanese coin and it only made the lore more confusing. He could have just used a Yen and I’m pretty sure us American kids would have been fine but localization problems amiright?

But yeah, there’s just this super random Millennium Penny that Yugi just has. To have. The redheaded stepchild 8th Millennium item no one remembers. Just like how no one remembers Bakura.

Now that I think of it, he did pull some pennies out of his pocket back in S1 with the labyrinth riddle. So maybe that’s just a skill the millennium puzzle can do--making weird ass pennies?

This is my brother’s aesthetic, this right here. This Big Penguin in a 3 piece suit and it’s got some anime for some reason strapped in the most goofy way on it stubby little wing.

This is Steve-o’s Mood down to a T.

Anyways, funnily enough, Tea and Yugi do actually get to communicate with each other this episode, but she isn’t aware that she’s doing it, much like how he wasn’t aware that he was in a dream she just had.

And so, Yugi feels newly inspired and very desperate and just throws himself directly at the door.

Yugi never did this back when Tea was abducted last season. Which...was yesterday. All that happened literally yesterday in the timeline of this show. Literally yesterday in the timeline of the show Seto Kaiba had to save Tea because Yugi got himself tied to an anchor and was too busy trying to kill himself to save Joey Wheeler (which didn’t even work and Serenity had to save Joey Wheeler instead it was a whole very confusing thing.) Like Yugi has got to stop needlessly sacrificing himself it only works a fraction of the time.

Anyway, Crump (Crumb? I don’t remember his name anymore) gives us a little backstory on why he chose to be a bird. We never got a backstory with like...Gansley. I think Yugi didn’t really waaaant to know why he was a sexy fish. And Gansley honestly didn’t want to tell him. And personally, I’m OK with not knowing.

What is it with TV shows and saying that every freakin weird tick their characters have is down to childhood trauma? Usually from parents? Like it’s such a tired trope nowadays. And honestly, from a psychological standpoint, TV shows constantly blaming parents for any character being an asshole is sort of unfair because sometimes you just have a kid who’s an asshole and it’s no one’s fault (except for the kid himself). But mostly, Yugioh tends to get creative with their backstories and this one is just “I dunno, I was lonely” which is a whole lot like the Mai backstory, but she didn’t turn into an evil bastard who wants to be a penguin, did she?

Hell, she got engaged.

Anyways, Seto’s S1 outfit makes a rare appearance. I miss that green jumpsuit with the pop collar. We got it twice this season. Heh, and bro told me this arc was bad.

And so because Crump was just straight up real bad at business and didn’t know how to find more angel investors, he’s just gonna do a murder.

Can we talk a little bit about this? So Gozoboro Kaiba was an asshole who made a ton of weapons--and that whole time, Crump was working with him so that one day he could go up to Kaiba Sr and be like “lets put that nuclear deal on hold--what if instead we just sold...penguins?”

Like that was Crump’s whole life plan. He blames Seto for it not working out but this guy worked for a supervillain for I’m assuming was like 30 years to build this theme park that I’m pretty sure would have never been made anyway?

And then Seto turned right around and made a theme park with a bunch of dragons in it?

Like why didn’t Crump just go to a freakin Zoo and be like “Lets make a penguin only zoo?” Like why didn’t he start with people who actually worked with animals?

Why did Crump go straight to working with the evil guns n stuff company to build a children’s theme park?

Anyway, he’s a penguin now, so it’s not like Crump is really all there and altogether. Like I’m assuming that maybe Kaiba Sr got a penguin theme park commission in his inbox once a month and just threw it in the trash being all “there goes that Crump again” and just ignored it or something. Like every Halloween work party Crump would have been a penguin, right? Like EVERY Halloween for 30 years? And like when Kaiba Sr got his boys did Crump come up to him and give him a Penguin lecture about how to be a perfect parent? Like how much of a nightmare was Crump to work with and how many times did the Kaibas try to kill him before Seto finally did is what I’m asking.

Also, still taking Dayquil, thanks for asking, I apparently still have some rants.

But that’s all for now.

PS I’ll have you know I almost made the title of this episode “fowl play” and decided that was too much of a low hanging pun. But I’m still like...I’m still feeling like putting it up there. That be the mix of meds and congestion.

[vvitchering]

I followed you literally a few days before the name change cause you had a Witcher name posting Mandalorian content so I figured it was the best of both worlds! What are you most excited about on Mando S3 and Witcher S2? They both have a lot of story to tell! Shipping wise, love Cobb Vanth (and Tim Olyphant) but the possibility of more development in canon seems slim, while the potential for Geralt and Jaskier is there, even if just to try to fix the mountain scene + throw Eskel into the mix!

The name change was a bit out of the blue but I tend to do that whenever I decide to focus on a new fandom! I kept my twitter handle the same though, so I figured that was a good compromise :) 

Oh lord,,,,,I hope you are prepared for Opinions because I have many. So many I think I’ll put this under a cut to spare the dash lmao

Aight so let’s talk about Mando S3 first since that’s what I’m most excited about anyway. I actually just marathoned S2 yesterday for the millionth time so I’ve got it all fresh in my head. I’m still thinking they’re going to go in a more introspective direction with Din at first. Where we leave him in the s2 finale, he’s lost literally everything. 

He’s broken his creed beyond what he feels he can excuse away, he’s finished his quest but lost his son in the process, both his covert and his ship are gone so he’s effectively entirely homeless, and now he has Bo Katan breathing down his neck for the Darksaber that he doesn’t even want but can’t just hand over. 

That’s a lot for one emotionally vulnerable dude to handle. I think he’ll try to disappear for a while and give himself a chance to grieve. I like to joke that maybe we’ll see him in the background during The Book Of Boba Fett crying on a couch. I’d like to see him be able to take the time to process everything that’s happened, properly grieve, and be able to make an informed decision about what to do with the Darksaber. I don’t feel that Din would feel comfortable taking that responsibility on without something or someone influencing him in that direction. Maybe we’ll see the armorer again? Whether or not she’s going to continue to be a positive figure for Din remains to be seen. 

Regardless, I do think S3 is going to deal with themes of self discovery and focus at least of its time on Din’s personal journey into figuring out what being Mandalorian means to HIM, rather than trying to fit back into the ways he was raised in. I don’t see him giving up his faith or traditions. But I do see him and the show exploring these things in a deeper way and I hope that means we get to see more Mandalorian lore and culture :D Once he’s more secure in himself again, I can see him being an absolutely fantastic leader for his people.

And of course I want the show to give him his baby back!!! I want those themes of found family to remain strong and I desperately want to see Din acknowledge his paternal bond with Grogu in some more concrete way. Whether he formally adopts him in the Mandalorian tradition, or he’s called to wherever Luke took Grogu for training to help, I just want them to get to see each other again ;A;

My last feeling about s3 is it had better NOT try to shoehorn in a romance. Both s1 and 2 were so solid and satisfying without one and I would hate to see s3 replace the focus on familial bonds with romantic ones. We just don’t need it. I love shipping, but that’s my side hobby. I don’t need it in canon. Especially not this canon. 

And now we switch gears and talk briefly about The Witcher s2

So I am significantly less excited for this one, to absolutely no one’s surprise. From what I can tell, it’s heading into the story that takes place in Blood Of Elves, which I actually have read, so I have a good idea of what to expect plot-wise. They’re tossing in a few of the stories they didn’t use from The Last Wish too which could be cool. I’m looking forward to seeing if they manage to keep the whimsical nature of Nivellen’s story intact or if they’re DoomGloomGritting it like the rest of the story in the show so far.

I Hated the mountain scene for various reasons and I’m not getting into it again, but I would say not to hold your breath for the miraculous apology everyone seems to want for some reason. But if you like Jaskier angst/whump.....you’ll like this season. 

The one thing I actually am still holding onto some excitement for is finally seeing Kaer Morhen and the rest of the Wolves (+ Coen). I’m still not over Thue having to step down as Eskel and I’m Big Worried about how this new guy will do. I just can’t see it, he doesn’t have anywhere near the right look, imo. But makeup is a powerful thing so we’ll see. I’m very excited to see Lambert because Paul is Gorgeous and I think it’s about time the world got to have a Gorgeous Lambert. 

Again, if the show follows the book at all, we should be getting some lighthearted and cute witcher family scenes but I don’t really trust the show runner to not run off and do her own thing again, as she is so fond of doing. After that point, I got bored of the story and I don’t have any plans to finish the rest of the books so. Yeah. 

I’m hoping by that time I’ll be able to afford a PS5 and can play the remastered version of TW3 and get back into the franchise again through that. Despite my lack of faith in the show, I still do really love the characters and the lore!