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#hhhhhhhi fuck feelings amiright
toomuchdickfort
·
5 years
Text
...this is just a vent/rant post, don’t mind it
#hhhhhhhi fuck feelings amiright
#you know
#that thing where youre watching youtube and then someone mentions crying in a bathroom and you zone out for fifteen minutes before realizing
#you cant write a proper vent scene with it because all the vent characters from that area in life arent there anymore and i care about them
#too much to put them back or anything but i also cant do as effective of a vent scene unless ive got an emotional attachment and
#basically feelings are bullshit and i dont want to have to figure out to deal with them
#so i
#being the Totally Definitely For Sure Healthy Responsible person i am
#im just gonna
#continue to let youtube autoplay and hope that it doesnt get too much worse
#*uncomfortable fingerguns*
#*also schedules this for hoirs later bc while i typed it someone commented on a similar complaining post from yesterday*
#yo editing shit from the queue box. because yeah. time to Complain and hope it helps even though i shpuld be working on dinner. its 8.
#i should have started something two hours ago. but im just. uncomfortable enough that the thought of eating just. really sucks.
#but. the thing i really wanted to put into writing?
#one of the worst reasons to me about the situation with my dad and his wife is that. i feel really bad about it. thinking about them for too
#long like... really deeply upsets me. i even just see them and im just sort of. suffering a little bit for most of the rest of the day.
#and i cant even name why.
#i have about four instances that i can list if someone asks what they did wrong... but thats it. because anything else just... seems small.
#and most of that is tara starting something and dad joining from what i can remember
#i shouldnt have been glad that she started smoking again senior year but... dad would be willing to talk about things after. her hoing outsi
#de to smoke gave me a chance to. try and share a bit if my side of things.
#like it takes me really working myself up to be able to pull up a few instances where they did something wrong but by that point im in tears
#and that means i’m ‘being too emotional to have a rational conversation’
#actually
#fuck the sceduling for later im posting this to rant in the comments because if i run out of tags im not going to be able to do anything for
#quite a while
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