#hioku

[pontevoix]

❛what    are    we?     ❜

for all the time that tsukishima spends tiptoeing around the harder, defining conversations that should come with his setup with hinata . . . he feels vindicated by the realization that hinata has avoided the same conversations. playing the game of evasion invites the danger of oversimplification — but . . . at least, they do converse.their language is the moments : 

the moments where feet tangle on the couch or when hinata has seen tsukishima when he’s lost track of his being / his brain / his ____ ??  there are moments like bursts of sporadic honesty where they are so close together at the kitchen counter & they play tag-along adventures for take-out dinner. they converse through time spent together & eventually through behaviors that threaten to become habitual. things like ? a) tsukishima puts his hand atop hinata’s head. it starts like a tease & then his fingers curl to stroke a strand of hair  b. hinata laughs when he learns that he can press a finger ( or his nose when he’s particularly tired ) near tsukishima’s collarbone & make tsukishima jolt a meter in the air. he gets ticklish. c) they fall asleep working in tsukishima’s room because he washes his sheets more often than hinata does. the two of them usually discredit that particular behavior as an accident, but  — 

the habits they have are bookmarks for unfinished conversations —

tsukishima was never a person for dating apps ( tinder, grindr, the like ). but he had downloaded them & never set up a profile & he liked having the option . . . even if he never took it.

the apps feel bizarre on his phone. it’s always felt bizarre, but 

tsukishima deletes the apps. he doesn’t like thinking about them or about why they feel bizarre. he doesn’t like running through conversations & questions & uncertainties in his mind about what he owes hinata (if anything) & what hinata owes him ( if anything). 

tsukishima checks instagram in the middle of his second coffee break of the day; he sees hinata story from a team gathering that’s structured like a party, though it’s somewhat work related. hinata’s always laughing in his stories / pictures. 

it reminds tsukishima that hinata is charismatic. it reminds tsukishima that hinata’s smile could make one hundred people want to kiss him . . . tsukishima included. it’s annoying, but true. 

out of sheer pride, tsukishima tells himself that it doesn’t matter, that he could distance himself from hinsta if he wanted to. & out of sheer self-depreciation, tsukishima reminds himself that he can sometimes be a liar. 

whatever. 

still he informs hinata that he’s easy to read, that hinata wears his heart on his sleeve —- even while tsukishima can’t predict what opinions hinata might have on  . . . them. the harder conversations; the defining conversations ? 

two weeks ago, tsukishima pinned a wedding invite to the refrigerator. his cousin is getting married on september 17, & tsukishima is trying to fend off reminders from his mother that he needs to buy a wedding gift —- & reminders that he needs to rsvp because avoiding the wedding altogether would be far too easy. his mother calls him & reminds him & he tells her that he’s got a good memory & she reminds him that if he isn’t careful, her sister ( tsukishima’s aunt )  might try to set up tsukishima up with a coworker’s daughter. 

tsukishima spluttered into the phone & left hinata staring at the paper invitation on the fridge for two weeks. hinata thinks maybe he recognizes the bride’s name from something-or-another. tsukishima thinks hinata is probably making things up —- & also thinks hinata as a plus-one may not be a sufficient excuse against his aunt’s intent to play matchmaker. 

so he fiddles with his phone & thinks about texting a coworker he knows is engaged & muses aloud & 

hinata asks that.

what are we? 

. . . 

. . . 

tsukishima drops his phone in his lap, & he guesses that . . . maybe he should have predicted this.

as easy as hinata is to read & although they’ve both seemed comfortable to talk without talking . . . tsukishima has never known hinata to tiptoe around matters for long. 

‘ dunno. doesn’t matter. i’m comfortable with you. ‘ & with this answer tsukishima offers an answer, scratches something raw, & then tries to counter the matter with a shake of the head. ‘ if you don’t know, why would i know? ‘ 

it’s not something that tsukishima can just decide. but maybe he’s misspoken, so he picks up his phone & stares hard at its bluescreen.  ‘ when i say it doesn’t matter, i don’t mean it’s insignificant. ‘ he just means that he hasn’t thought he needed a definition.

which is odd, all things considered . . . because tsukishima hates uncertainty.

                        confrontation meme | @hioku

[qureshi72]

[flyhighest]

    “  not to change the subject,  but it’s been on my mind since i saw you:   shorty,  i have to ask  . . .  why beach volleyball?  ”    —  @hioku​

[diutive]

@hioku   :         [ MEAL ] for our muses to share some other kind of food together / except its just hinata pointing at something to distract kageyama and stealing a handful of his fries or st

having shoyo over was always intimidating...     he spent the day rearranging the most minute details of his bedroom,   fussing over if the curtains should be open or closed,   what videos they’d watch together,    if miwa was going to be in or not   [   she hung around the door whenever he had friends over,   cooing about how mature he was   ].     it was annoying.      but for all his fussing,   his anxiety had the good grace to slip away once hinata was inside.    the two spent most of their time watching old volleyball videos,    of teams that tobio could name every member of,    or talking about nothing at all.    what natsu did yesterday that was shocking enough to earn gasps,     how annoying tsukishima was,     if they should start bringing their own lunches or eating the cafeteria food.     friends were people you could talk to easily,    that’s why hinata was the best of the best   [   not that tobio would say that aloud,  though   ].      

dinner came soon enough,    two boys sat knee to knee around the small chabudai,   his mother on one side and miwa at the other.    they finished first,   shuffling into the kitchen to have adult conversations while the two boys continued stuffing their faces.    he’s half - distracted,   gulping down water,    when hinata’s sneaky hand attacks his plate.     tobio slams his hand atop of the other   --   a glare on his face.       ‘       what do you think you’re doing,   eh!?    you still have food on your plate!       ’

[shimzus-a3]

@hioku​‘s starter

         this is the kind of split-second decision that shimizu would’ve rather avoided. it’s unavoidable now , but had it been avoidable , she would have gracefully found herself a way out. there’s nothing she can do about hinata , crouched for some reason at the bottom of heartbreak hill after finishing the day’s warm-up run up and down the slope ... and her own speed , which has increased due to the steepness of the hill. though her feet feel heavy , and the traction on her tennis shoes hasn’t diminished by working on linoleum gymnasium floors , shimizu can’t really slow herself down.

          it’s the last resort , but she can’t help it. shimizu’s steps begin to fall faster—— tap , tap , tap—— and just as she reaches the bottom of the hill , she pushes off one foot and leaps over him. he’s not a hurdle ... so when she lands , checking that her feet are firmly on the ground , shimizu immediately turns around to check on him.  “  did i get you , hinata ?  ”

[inanthesis]

@hioku​​ requested a roast

❝ Is that what your thinking face looks like? Disgusting. ❞ Don’t get him wrong, it was refreshing to see Hinata trying to use his head to figure something out but it was just as equally disturbing when he and the other half of the weirdo duo only seemed to operate on pure animal instinct but it was disturbing.

❝ Just know that if you keel over from overusing what little cognitive power you have I’m not going to help you, I’ll just leave you on the ground to be someone else’s problem. ❞

[iwazumis]

@hioku​ liked for a starter ( hinata ).

' oi -- shrimpy, number ten, ' iwaizumi huffs after a few failed attempts. he doesn’t even know this kid’s name. ‘ if you don’t pick up your feet in here, you’re gonna get stepped on. nobody looks where they’re going. ’

[tsuyokuma]

@hioku​​    LIKED FOR A THING !

               ✖          ❝  my hand is still sore from th’last game  ...                    but , is it  really  a game if you haven’t broken somethin’ ?  ❞

        She hoped eventually someone would share her ...  ‘ philosophy’ . Mayu might have nudged teammates a little too hard during games, subsequently causing several injuries on herself and others. Receiving regular punishments and penalties for her style of play, she still felt unappreciated for her efforts. Isn’t prioritizing winning over safety a good thing? 

[halchron]

❝ sometimes , when i can’t wake up in the morning , i run in circles and scream really loud for a few minutes ! ❞ / for whichever hq muse ur feeling most rn u_u

* new horizons // accepting

❝ bet your neighbors love you then. ❞

how was hinata’s go to thing to run around and scream ? kuroo would be pissed if he heard that at the crack of dawn. it’s also crazy how that was his go to thing to wake up, when that allow was more energy that kuroo was willing to exert even when he was fully awake and functional. to be fair though, hinata on coffee sounded like a very bad idea.

❝ you can’t do something less... loud ? ❞

[frsttempo]

     --   Big Brother  // Continued  here. 

         To   Natsu ,  Shoyo   was   the  little   giant  that   he   admired  so  much  when  he  was young.   --  Growing   up  ,  watching   her   brother   struggle,    strive  &   transform   into   what   he   is   now   --   made  her  admire   him   &&   want    to   become   just   like  him  ;    even   though   many   says    that   she   wouldn’t    be   as   great   as   her   brother    -   nor   surprising   and   awe inspiring   like   her   brother  --   she   didn’t   care   about  it  cause   what   she   cared   is   that   Shoyo ,  had  opened   the   door    for  her   to   experience   all   the   thrill   &   adrenaline   rush   feeling    whenever    she   is   on   top.      That   TOP   that  many   volleyball players   like   her   &   her   brother   loved   so   much.  

        “   Yes!!   It’s   higher   than   before  !   you   left   to   go   to   Brazil!   It’s   so  high !  I want  to   be   able   to  jump  like   that !!    “  Natsu waved   her  legs   happily   as   shoyo   hoisted   her   higher   to   his   back  ,   the   mini   version  of  the  Hinatas   pointed   up   towards   the   net.  “ And   See   what   you   saw   up   there!   “   The   excitement   was   written   all   over   her   face  ---   as   an  image   of   her   jumping  &&   spiking   the   same  way   her   brother  does,   enabling   walls  &   hurdles   to   stop   her  ball   flashed   before   her   eyes .  She   blinked  then  it   disappeared,    but    the   dream   lingered   into  her   heart.     A   soft   mix   of   giggles   &  squeal   escaped   her   lips   the   second   he  was   asked   if  he   was  awesome.  

        “  Hmhmm!!   Yes   you  are   but!   Bokuto-san’s   Chest  receive  is   a  top - notch!   So   i   think   the  title   of   Coolness  ,  goes   to  him  this  round. “     Natsu  teased  his  brother   as  she   gave  him   a   tight   hug   grip  ,  before   being  plopped   down   on   the  ground  back  on  her   feet.

        She   bounced   happily   as   energy   blossoms   when  hinata   considered   to   teach  her  ,  his   move   --  She   almost   pounced   him   again  into  another   tight   hug/ tackle,  but  stopped   when   he   tries  to extort   her.

        ‘  Ehhhh----!???   ,  Nii-chan!  So   mean  ,   I  can  only  barely   eat   a  proper  full  athlete   meal   from   my  allowance    &&  now   you  are  asking   to   buy   lunch!   So  mean!   Shouldn’t   you   be   the  one   buying   me  lunch ,   to  make  up   from  all  my   volleyball  matches  you missed   to  watch  cause  you are   having   fun  on   the beach~ Hmp!  in  Brazil~ “  Natsu  pointed   out  with a pout.

[pridewon]

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐃𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐀𝐙𝐄 𝐀𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄?

when they’re unaware.

they don't always see you. but that's a good thing. this is when you love them most. when they are so absorbed in their thoughts you can just sit there and enjoy them existing. it's the way they move through the world which made you fall in love. the grace with which they walk their path. the stubbornness. the dedication. they know their place in the universe and somehow, that makes you feel a little more confident in your existence too. they know who and what they are and there is nothing more beautiful to you than the ability to witness it all. in the simple things and the big things. the expressions they make when they think no one is looking. the way they laugh when they're not holding back. the little swears under their breath for no one but themselves. you love it all and you want to spend the rest of your life being their life's witness. 

tagged by: @goldenloved​ (come for my feels why don’t you) tagging: @soverina @tvrningout (for whoever you want!) @goldenloved (you know what do it for oikawa) @pontevoix (for tsukishima and shirabu!) @hioku​ @violevin @edelstin (forr suna!) and whoever else who wants to do it, steal it!

[pontevoix]

❛     why     did     you     say    that     about   me?     ❜ / for tsukishima hahAHAHA

tsukishima decides not to trust group meetings. different people know different things about him. over time, they discard the privacy of tsukishima knowledge & consequently — 

in groups, past conversations come back too easily to bite tsukishima. then & now — he knows that disclosing himself is logically not a big deal, but ( quietly ) tsukishima fears that discussions of the past might scratch him open & erase any growth & & &  

old associates, peers, & friends had organized a celebration for tsukishima — for the publication of his first paper & for his decision to try out for a d3 league the celebration is small & nostalgic & a bit too loud with tipsy laughter that does not belong to tsukishima.

his glasses keep slipping down the bridge of his nose, & to be the center of attention this way puts him on edge because 

he does better just a little out of sight —- it’s preferable to be constant, to be present, to be inevitable . . .  & not to carry the responsibility of being the center. hinata with all of his gravitational force is better at that —-

& with this, you can cue imagery & descriptions likening the moon & the sun —- but why bother? the comparisons don’t even make sense. the moon is relevant only to the earth, & the sun commands orbits.

years ago tsukishima had felt resigned to this logic, reluctant to commit himself to breaking orbit or being something different. years ago, his reluctance had manifested in a stubborn refusal to move one step forward or one step backward. stagnancy was reliable. in a stable position, it’s easy to compare & 

to see comparisons & to praise them as the truth. so it was with casual ease that tsukishima recognized everything that hinata was capable of, everything that tsukishima himself was not capable of. 

& with tipsy laughter someone at this group meeting had clapped tsukishima on the shoulder & praised him for how far he had come. from highschool can’ts to where he is now. it was awkward, & politely tsukishima had scrunched his nose. the conversational dawdled forward with recollections about the past & misconstrued conversations. someone had stumbled forward & claimed, ‘ i don’t remember what the actual words, but wow, i remember one time that tsukishima described himself as being a placeholder for hinata —- as holding the fort until hinata was back on the front line, & you know? tsukishima . . . you’ve gotten a lot better about taking the offense since then. in volleyball. ‘ 

tsukishima had always been good about taking the offense in speech / in social settings. in volleyball — he excelled at defense. internally, he excelled at defense. 

& with this tipsy revelation, everyone could hear how tsukishima could simultaneously describe himself as a stand-in for hinata on the court . . . & then describe hinata as so much chaos.  there was a lot of juxtaposition; there was a lot of uncertainty.

& so diplomatically, tsukishima concedes ( & argues ) : ‘ you’ve heard me say a lot about you. what are you talking about now ? ‘ 

their steps fall in line. they walk to the bus station. the silence feels like a sponge in the stomach, soaking up every passing second. tsukishima’s response had been evasion. & they both know it. 

tsukishima steps over the cracks of the sidewalk pavement. they reach the bus stop.

‘ that was then, ‘ he explains finally. the answer is unhelpful. ‘ back then . . . was different. ‘ it was different in how tsukishima had tiptoed around change & tried to avoid the commitment of trying. nowadays, tsukishima is not healed; he himself is not different —- but he would like to commend himself on a new quiet bravery of determination: to do better; to be better. now, tsukishima ties himself to his goals — he promises to try 

even when days arise that he can’t / he can’t / he can’t. 

‘ don’t get me wrong. you were annoying. you are annoying. i couldn’t stand you. but i wasn’t stupid; we worked on the same team, so i knew ( & i know ) your strengths —- on the court. ‘ & off the court. tsukishima knew some of hinata’s strengths off the court, & 

even now . . . he’s not sure if he were envious or annoyed or self-aware or what. a little awkwardly, tsukishima wets his lips & tries to think of how to proceed. 

‘ we’re very different people. you represent a lot. ‘  back then & now, hinata represents a lot of what tsukishima wasn’t . . . of what he can’t be.  ‘ but we’re not competition. ‘ 

does that answer the question? tsukishima isn’t sure. he taps his hand once against the middle of hinata’s back — as though it were an apology for uncertainties that he can’t erase & as though it were enough of an acknowledgement of the unspoken relationship (???) they’ve started building.

tsukishima isn’t sure if this touch were enough. are they enough? 

                confrontation meme | @hioku​

[qureshi72]

[hiokumasaki]

Febbの曲でリミックスをつくった。 なにかと落ち込む事が多いが、自分の好きなものを信じてやっていきたい。

[setternine-a]

these are threads i will be keeping ; anything not on this list will be dropped except for memes on my inbox. but there’s always the chance i’ve missed it and didn’t put something in my drafts or simply forgot, so if you feel like questioning me please do so, i will be very grateful! remember that i am stupid and forgetful! dsfbhjdfgs additionally, if there’s anything here you wish to drop, tell me! we can think of something else to write or just let it come to us eventually, all is chill!

starters that i will respond to:

x - @fireqrincess x - @2ndvice x - @mcnyhearts​ 

starters that i will write: 

kagehina for @tsumiu water park fun for aria

memes / asks that i will turn into threads:

x x - @tsumiu x - @foliateface

ongoing threads:

everythingus SDJHFSDFHS - @shrapnelsong i can’t link them but 2 with aria dfjhgdfjs x - @sempiteria x - @innosen x - @mcnyhearts x - @shimzus x - @hioku x - @capntm x x - @rosahope x - @subsetter x - @courtkeeper x x - @kokoro-ippai x - @chisupa​ x - @tealedtrapper x - @wolfreign

[crowconquer-a]

repost. don’t reblog.

── ♡ 𝐟𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐬 !!

♡  color  :  black , white , blue , orange ♡  season  :  any ♡  holiday  :  halloween ♡  location  :  volleyball court , gym , woods / parks , seaside , cafe / bakery, book stores , museums ♡  activity  :  volleyball , running , working out , cooking / baking , reading , cleaning / house chores ♡  film / show  :  weathering with you , ( B ) horror / scifi films ♡  food  :  pork curry with egg on top , taiyaki , baked goods ♡  beverage  :  milk , boba , matcha green tea latte , iced coffee , water ♡  animal  :  cats , dogs , rabbits , foxes ♡  flower  :  carnations ♡  song  :  ‘ blooming in the mud ‘ -- wolpis kater

tagged by  :  no one. i made this :3c tagging  :  @talentbloomed  @ikiruwill  @engravite  @foliateface  @courtkeeper  @kokoro-ippai  @subsetter  @helavish  @fxight  @bloedend  @wintersfire  @shinesunshine  @chisupa  @unanimuse​  @kyonkycn  @nekomamalibero​  @hellspawnd  @akaiga  @hioku  @shimzus​  @jhzenjis​  @nonkinai​  @kingheld​  @zhengxis​ && Y O U !!!!!!! uwu ♡