#hngk

[ronithesnail]

Season one “i forgive you” season two “i forgive you” wouldnt it be crazy if he’s the first one to say “i love you” in season three

[camellcat]

lose my mind every time the doctor takes rose's last name in fics. brilliant, amazing, splendid, absolutely perfect.

like, what do you MEAN she'd be the one to change her last name? he doesn't even HAVE a bloody name like us! plus, she's rose tyler. you think he's going to want that to be different? it's the doctor and rose tyler in the tardis (or I suppose whatever they do in pete's world, but that's still the doctor and rose tyler having their new adventure)!!

she's rose tyler and he is whatever-he-wants tyler. end of discussion. the whole pond diabolical should've been clue enough imo

[just-ornstein]

Living Legacy

[detectivehole]

[nephiliam]

Mmm....michael not being used to laughing so much and genuinely loving every second i say something stupid :')

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

A 'mysterious source' just told me that while heaven and hell suck, he'd die if he were crowley or aziraphale's employer and. like. That's so true?

Beelzebub: We don't have ze bezt reputation az employerz here in hell.

Beelzebub: But you try dealing with ze demon Crowley for a day.

[at admin]

Dagon: It says here you saved a bunny from being eaten.

Crowley: Hngk, well, no. I robbed a poor stray dog of its meal.

Dagon: Tell me you didn't then buy the stray dog food.

Crowley:

Dagon: Did you adopt the stray dog?

Crowley: ...if Demidemon barks, the neighbours can't sleep. They will then... uh, murder each other in their... senseless rage.

Dagon *face in hands*: Was God damning you or us when you fell?

[yaekiss]

zhongli asking for ur help to lay his eggs only to learn they’re unfertlized… fucking him with them inside him to fertilize them… >< 👍

꩜ Room Content: GN! Dom! Top! Reader x Sub! Bottom! Zhongli, no gendered terms for reader, reader has a cock, Zhongli's anatomy written to have 2 dicks, a pussy, and a womb, mentions of heat, eggs. (thanks blake), lmk if I missed anything ! ꩜ A/N: I've been thinking about this since u dropped this in my inbox, @uplatterme. also tagging @mahal-kita !! <3 honestly, I didn't really mean for it to become a ramble....... and I feel like this could've been more monsterfucky idk,, I haven't reach the full potential for this one, I'll add in extra thoughts in the tags

You come home one day and you find your poor husband with his draconic features out, his tail and horns proudly on display, along with scales that shimmer faintly in the light littered across his skin, and his talons.

He's coiled up on your sofa, looking downright miserable as his tail flicks back and forth irritably. It's not hard to tell that he's in a foul mood.

"Apologies you have to see me in such a state but it seems that my heat has snuck up on me this time," he may sound sorry however, the way he's eyeing you down is anything but. As if trying to entrance you to take things further. 

“I would love for it to be over fast, however, for that to happen, copulation is required.” 

The hem of his robe slips down his shoulder, revealing his (unmarked) skin. He's tempting you, the sly dragon, lashes batting at you.

"But you will help me, right, dearest?"

A slash from his claws makes quick work of the sash tying his robes and he sheds the thin fabric, letting you drink in the sight of his heat. His 2 cocks are already hard and weeping, precum drooling from the tips. But what really catches your eye is his glistening cunt, folds so wet and dripping with slick.

Zhongli drags you down, looping his arms around your neck and pressing himself flushed against you, intoxicated by the warmth of your body. He frees your cock and traces a claw against its underside, eager to have it deep in him.

Carefully, he presses his cocks against yours, hissing at the searing heat of the contact. Avoiding the sharp tips of his talons, he wraps his hands around the both of you and frots. Precum beads at the top, dripping down and coating your cock with every roll of Zhongli’s hips. His breath comes out in pants, already losing himself to the mounting pleasure.

“Hah… This feels so good…!” His voice is gravelly, laced with lust as he speeds up his pace, frotting his length against yours harder. But just as he’s about to cum, you yank his hands away, stopping him from reaching his climax. A snarl builds up in his throat at this but it quickly melts into a moan as you slap your tip on his clit.

“Let’s not forget about our main goal, hmm? But first, I want you to beg for it.”

“Please dearest, pleasepleaseplease, I n-need you!” He’s frantically trying to take you into him, jerking up to meet you but whining when your hands move to clamp around the plush flesh of his hips to prevent him from moving.

“Do not tease, please, I need to carry your clutch!” And that’s all you need to hear before you’re sinking into him, bottoming out without any resistance because of how wet he already is.

“Hngk! S-so full!” His head is thrown back as you thrust, paired with how his cocks are trapped between the two of you, bliss floods every nerve in him. Shakily guiding your hand to his womb, he groans out, “Can you- ah! -feel my eggs? You will fill me with y-your cum, pump me full-!?”

His words are cut off with you pressing the heel of your palm on his clit, grinding on the sensitive nub, bringing your poor dragon to completion. He clamps down on your length as he climaxes, the sudden increase in tightness making you cum as well, his walls milking you for all you’re worth.

The veins climbing up his arms glow a molten gold as his two cocks twitch while they splatter his release on your skin. Something slithers and wraps around you, a glance reveals that it's his tail, as if trying to keep you in him for as long as possible. Greedy. 

For a moment, there’s a dreamy far off look in his eyes as he pats his tummy, one that soon changes to something more animalistic in nature, hungry for more. His tail wraps tighter around you, helping you reach deeper into him, parts that have him seeing stars behind his eyes.

“Perhaps we need to go for a few more rounds, dearest. I need to make sure it takes, after all ♡”

Thanks for reading! Consider supporting me on kofi if you enjoyed this or check out my other works hehe ♡

[urhoneycombwitch]

hngk… breeding kink. w Steve.

[edosianorchids901]

Bad Life Choices

For @book-omens-week Day 3! Prompt: historical

“Awful,” Crowley announced to the empty tavern. “Bloody, bloody awful.”

He fumbled for his wooden cup, knocked it over, and swore. Fumbled with it again, trying to right it, and failed. The cup rolled off across the table.

Defeated for the moment, he dropped his head to the table. The notion of being defeated sent a prickle of irritation through him. Normally, said prickle would ignite a stubborn refusal to give up.

He was too tired for stubbornness right now. Or too drunk, rather. Possibly getting too drunk to stay on the bench; he was sliding pretty badly.

He blew out a long, shaky breath and tried to right himself, which only hastened his slide off the bench. He fumbled at the table in a last ditch attempt to save himself, then plopped to the floor and laid there in an undignified heap.

At the moment, he was also tired and drunk enough that he didn’t particularly care about being undignified. Oh, it bothered him a little, but not enough to motivate himself to try getting up. It would probably end badly, and the last think he needed was to whack his head on the bench and discorporate himself or something.

“Safety. Safer.” Crowley blinked blearily, the tavern spinning around him. “S’ safe…er? Safer.”

“Whatever are you doing down there?”

Crowley didn’t bother raising his head. He knew that voice. “M’… safer. Yup. That’s me. Being safe.”

“You look as if you’re lying on the floor.” Aziraphale prodded his shoulder. “Why are you doing that, dear boy?”

“Better than a bloody great battlefield, eh? Plenty of… fields.” Crowley tried to remember what he’d been saying. “Battles. Plenty of. And bottles, plenty of those too.”

He let out a snort of laughter, then moaned as a wave of nausea swept through him. He might not have made good life choices today. Bad life choices? Whatever life choices a demon was supposed to make.

“Technically, those are jugs, not bottles.” Aziraphale sighed. “Crowley, you are very drunk.”

“Yup. S’ nothing else t’ do. Bloody boring. Boring century. Nothing to do.” At least, nothing he wanted to do. He could wander around and watch a bunch of humans kill a bunch of other humans, or watch plague kill a bunch of humans, or watch famine—

“You could have come to talk to me.” Aziraphale sounded hurt. “I’m not boring.”

Affection tugged at Crowley’s heart, and he turned just enough to give Aziraphale a wobbly attempt at a smile. “Not boring. World’s boring. I just… drinks. Had too many.”

“Far, far too many from the looks of things.” With a judgmental look at the floor, which immediate rid itself of any puke or spilled wine, Aziraphale sank to his knees and laid his hand on Crowley’s back. It was warm. “You really shouldn’t be down here, you know. It’s not very sanitary.”

“Hngk.” Crowley closed his eyes, head still swimming. He was kinda starting to feel like he might redecorate the floor with some vomit of his own.

“Would you like to go back to your room?”

“Hhh.”

“Are you able to walk?”

“Nuh.”

“May I help?”

Crowley mustered a faint glare before yielding to the wooziness and letting his head fall back to the floor. “Rooms have… room. For staying.”

“Goodness gracious. You are in a state.” Aziraphale petted his head, a few gentle strokes across his dark hair, and then took hold of him. “Up you get.”

Up? Which direction was even up? Crowley couldn’t tell that, although he could definitely tell things were shifting and moving and wobbling. His stomach flipped over, and the contents abruptly figured out which way “up” was.

Aziraphale held him still until he stopped throwing up, then moved him in some direction, hopefully the direction of his room. “You know, you really ought to have sobered up before you got to this point.”

“Right. Right. But then I woulda—whoops.” Crowley tripped over his own feet, but Aziraphale kept him from toppling back to the floor. “Would been, whatsit. Bored again. Bloody boring century.”

“Not precisely the way I’d describe it.” Aziraphale steered him somewhere and then lowered him. Crowley clutched vaguely at Aziraphale’s arm in a blast of confusion, then realized Aziraphale had helped him lie down in a bed that definitely had not been this comfortable when Crowley took a nap in it three days ago. Aziraphale must have expected it to be more comfortable. “In fact, it’s been quite a hectic century, so much going on.”

“Boring sort of hectic,” Crowley said, unable to figure out how to describe it even to Aziraphale. Being drunk did not help with that, but even sober it was hard to put into words just how soul crushing—if he had a soul, couldn’t actually remember right now—the past several decades had been.

“Well, all right. If you say so,” Aziraphale said, sounding unconvinced but apparently unwilling to argue with him right now. Which said something about how damn horrible Crowley must look right now. Aziraphale was always willing to argue with him. It was one of their favorite activities.

Crowley laid there, the room spinning, and then looked down in confusion as plump fingers curled around his hand. “What’re you doing?”

Aziraphale’s cheeks went slightly pink. “Holding your hand.”

More confused, Crowley blinked. “Why?”

The shade of pink in Aziraphale’s cheeks darkened. “Ah. Well. Because.”

That was quite possibly the most unsatisfactory answer ever, and Crowley desperately wanted to shower him with questions. But right now, he was too tired and woozy and entirely too drunk even for much curiosity.

He was definitely less bored though, even with just lying here, holding Aziraphale’s hand. Still felt absolutely awful, mind. But being around Aziraphale always made him feel better, no matter the circumstances.

[toweroftickles]

This three-sentence fic was requested by @trrickytickle >:)

“Heheh-Haha Hahuh…*gasp* Huh-Huh HA-Ha, that’s not fahair!!” Ben Tennyson giggled uncontrollably and struggled to run forward, nearly tripping into the grass as he wrestled with his cousin.

“Ah!! S-stop touching me, you….d-hohork! Hngk…Heheh Ha-Ha Ha-Ha Ha!” Gwen poured out a barrel of angry laughs too.

The Tennysons constantly tried to one-up each other in any nonsensical challenge they could devise (a footrace across the school soccer field for example), but both played dirty, and aggressive tickling was always an effective cheat code.

[boyslit]

(used a variety of pronouns for Huxley in this. Aeon pronouns are capitalized They.)

-

Huxley will talk if prompted about hir admiration for Asta (finds her brilliant and well-mannered, not to mention lovely in personality and looks) and Herta (appreciation of her genius and was drawn to working at the station because of her research and success with de-aging and manipulation of the human life span, but finds the cattiness unnecessary and distasteful).

But when asked about his own reasons for following the path of Abundance and research into human augmentation and improvement, the asker will find a door summarily slammed in their face.

Huxley does not speak about their previous field work on cosmic anomalies. No data remains on what terrifying existence devoured parts of aer body. Held captive in the freezing teeth of a ravenous entity and sure of her own impending death, Dr. Huxley sobbed out in mortal fear to whatever in the universe would listen.

"I don't want to die!"

Time itself seemed to freeze and several pairs of delicate, comforting hands surrounded them and lifted them from the space being's awful teeth. Huxley opened their eyes carefully and peered up at the serene face of The Abundance Themselves. Yaoshi gently brushed tears from Huxley's eyes. A voice like soft bells echoed through hir ears.

"There, there... you're safe now. You will not die while I look upon you, little one."

Huxley tried to thank Them, but most of what came out was a warbling whimper, a sob. Yaoshi cradled them to Their chest, sparing a smile for the shivering mortal, but bending and stretching the neck to peer closely at the damaged limbs. The anomalous beast had been severed by Yaoshi's interference, yet part of its mouth remained attached to two limbs. The Abundance passed a hand over the area where human met beast, forming a barrier and sealing the beast from devouring any more of what it was attached to. The entity warbled in frustration, but did not - or perhaps could not - release its hold. The two would be a part of each other from now, both parasitic and symbiotic.

The Abundance turned Their heated gaze on the ravenous maw lurking behind Their barrier and trapped the beast within a constricting orb. It would wither in hunger until it was released, sustained only by consuming and reforming itself ad infinitum.

Huxley watched this quietly, half-dazed from pain and fear and exhaustion, clutching like a mewling babe to the veil of The Abundance. She owed the Aeon her life. If she would be returned to the station, she would devote herself to the study of human life and improvement of human capability.

The Aeon turned Their sweet gaze to Huxley and smiled. (The mouth a mere facsimile; it twisted open like a seed pod.) "What a sweet thought. Yield to Me your devotion, and you shall wield My powers in your own hands."

There was nothing to think about. Huxley opened its heart willingly, immediately and The Abundance took root there, blessing this lowly mortal with Their powers of life.

"Be blessed with My gaze, little one, and walk confidently on My Path." Soft lips grazed his forehead.

The next instant, Huxley stood alone in the middle of their lab, eyes darting around curiously. There had been no feeling of transport—only being held in the warm arms of the Abundance one moment and standing in the chill air of their department's lab the next. The lab assistant stopped typing and turned in his chair curiously.

"Hux? When did you get here? I thought you went with Soris and everyone to investigate—hngk."

Huxley loomed over him, clutching his shoulder and turning him back to the computer. His eyes lingered on her inhuman hand, the void tendrils curling curiously towards him. "There is no data. No mission. Everything was destroyed. We will not speak of it, and no one is to set foot or solar fin in that sector of space again. Make the appropriate announcements. I need to call the team's family."

The assistant swallowed in dread, pulling up the relevant forms quickly. "You mean they're...?"

"I said everything was destroyed, Palmer."

"Oh, Aeons..." Huxley left Palmer to sniffle and type up the forms and announcements, and sat heavily at his own desk, reaching for the team directory. How unfair was it that they alone had snatched life from the jaws of death?

Huxley dialed the first number and studied the curious void tendrils rising from what used to be aer hand.

"Hello? ...Hux? I thought you guys were weren't going to be back for weeks."

"I just returned. I'm sorry, but there was an incident..."

[just-ornstein]

❄️Snowy Day❄️

[detectivehole]

i thought meby smeat was ur iz oc

Meby Smeat the Meat Baby is a plush doll im making out of yarn that looks like ground raw meat. i do not have an invader zim oc and i do not plan to ever make one

[ctrl-lupin]

HNGK THEY ARE CUTE!!

[nephiliam]

Sad and emo now because i miss my bestie so much that i wanna cry

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

read more of the good omens book. forget Nord and Surfshark, get me AntichristVPN.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH GOOD OMENS MASCOT HERE I read the chapter thursday!

The book now has a strange yellowing on the top of the pages. I do not know where it came from. The infamous Good Omens book wreckage has begun.

Anathema finally meets Adam (he stops by to comfort her because she's crying, aw Adam you sweetheart) but she gets brainwashed instantly and can't be suspicious about him.

NordVPN has nothing on the AntichristVPN.

No but really people can't even think about him beyond a superficial level (their thoughts slide off yes like water and ducks). CAN YOU DO THAT FOR ME, NORD? I THINK THE FUCK NOT. SIGN ME UP FOR ANTICHRISTVPN.

Sign up now for a five day free trial. After that the world's ending so you'll have to either pay the fuck up or opt the fuck out.

Crowley did not make an appearance in this chapter, so I will simply say the line that lives rent-free and squats in my head: "Right," mumbled Crowley, suddenly feeling very alone.

HNGK.

(that was a beautiful lovechild of the tumblr hnng and the ngk)

Adam is so ethereal omg. Though I suppose one would say he's occult. Which he would assume, as per the book, meant he's going to be an optometrist.

I seem to remember something about Lucifer being the most beautiful of angels before he fell. Wonder if Crowley had a little crush.

NO WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT CROWLEY SORRY. RIGHT YES. OCCULT. Anathema teaches Adam about occult things, such as global warming, no more Americans in Long Island, and recycled paper.

Brian fancies himself an expert on witches. As is the case with most self-proclaimed experts, that means he says a good deal of inaccurate things with a great deal of confidence in their accuracy.

I'm rather proud of that last point. It sounds very good omens writing-style. Like if you bought Good Omens from Wish.

Wensleydale did slightly more correct reading, but Adam decided the Spanish Inquisition cannot be chanting only in Latin.

Adam also decided that his contribution to the Spanish decor would be onions. Because onions could be Spanish. Spain does have onions.

Does Spain have onions? It does now. If you live in Spain and have onions, you should know that you only think you've always had onions, but really you started having onions when Adam decided you did.

None of the previous point is in the book. It is my Creative Interpretation.

Pepper is Head Torturer, her sister is adorable, and she beat up the boys the first time they met.

SHERBET LEMONNNNNN

OH THE LINE ABOUT ADAM'S AURA I LOVE IT SO MUCH YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND I LOVE IT. IT'S SO. IT'S SO.

I DON'T REMEMBER IF IT WAS IN THE SHOW BUT I LOVE IT OK. IT PROBABLY WAS AND I FORGOT.

ANATHEMA CAN'T SEE ADAM'S AURA AND:

It may, or may not, have helped Anathema get a clear view of things if she'd been allowed to spot the very obvious reason why she couldn't see Adam's aura. It was for the same reason that people in Trafalgar Square can't see England.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

For the non-English people who didn't get it, well... Trafalgar Square is in London.

Why do I know that? Easy. Monopoly. Heh.

FUCK YEAH LESSGOOOO APOCALYPSE UNDERWAYYYYYYYYY.