#homoerotic tennis

[niightniines]

deathnote au where everything is the same but Light is wearing this during the tennis match

[steffigraf]

this picture im howling

[zingaplanet]

Football: how do we get our GOATS in one picture without them killing each other *ehem photoshop ehem*

Meanwhile tennis:

[leighlew3]

Challengers was a very very good film. Nothing more to say for now. Need to marinate on it.

[feydfuckernation]

this is how playing his game went right

[mxwhore]

unwillingly watching a tennis match like

[forza-azzurrisempre]

Casper and Holger omg

THEY'RE SO STUPID, THEY SHOULD JUST MAKE OUT ALREADY.

[hereidinathoreauwrites]

Chapters: 4/7: Hemingway’s got nothing on us

Fandom: Barbie (Movie 2023) Rating: Mature

A long silence hangs awkwardly between them, like a dropped tennis ball.

“So…singles…” Gloria begins, ripping her eyes back to Barbie’s face.

The blonde is already flushed and pounces instantly on her reply. “You want to?”

“Yes.” It’s little more than breath.

“Okay…” Barbie nods, suddenly looking nervous. “G-go get your stuff and meet at the car?”

Gloria nods and she’s up the stairs in a flash. Tennis was good. Tennis would help her get out her lingering frustrations both sexual and personal. Tennis was something they could bond over that wouldn’t make her horny.

Probably.

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Margot Robbie's Barbie/Gloria (Barbie 2023), Margot Robbie's Barbie & Sasha (Barbie 2023), Gloria & Sasha (Barbie 2023) Characters: Margot Robbie's Barbie (Barbie 2023), Gloria (Barbie 2023), Sasha (Barbie 2023), El Esposo de Gloria (Barbie 2023), Ruth Handler (Barbie 2023), Ryan Gosling's Ken (Barbie 2023) Additional Tags: Divorced Gloria (Barbie 2023), El Esposo de Gloria exists and he's awful, This Barbie is a Teacher!, A Hot Teacher, This Gloria is Horny, References to classic literature because my expensive education has to be used for something, Lots of Sex, From Sex to Love, eventually, Lots of Shenanigans first Summary:

All she wanted was some casual, low-stakes sex with a hot woman. It’s totally not Gloria’s fault that her partner of choice is also her daughter Sasha’s drop-dead gorgeous English teacher. It’s just an unfortunate turn of events when she’s recently divorced and just realizing she has the WORST teacher fetish imaginable.

A single revenge hookup has a cascade of unintended consequences for one Gloria Esperada.

[cbeswater]

as someone who played tennis in high school my roman empire is the singular time in trb it’s mentioned that ronan is on the aglionby tennis team like pls there is so much untapped comedic potential here i just know he would be the WORST to play against

[taken-aurally]

Zelda, Link, Ganon number 10 to make it interesting

Interesting it certainly is — I have had to give this one quite a bit of thought, and I'm not yet sure that these are the best answers.

Also, assuming Breath of the Wild incarnations of each.

Also also, I'm not totally sure if this should be Ganondorf the Gerudo King, or Ganon the Dark Beast, so I'm doing both.

And finally, I'm sticking to canon for these as much as I can — by which I mean I'm answering not for Ganondorf the Himbo King, but Ganondorf the Great King of Evil (frustration with this aspect of fandom documented in a previous post).

Netflix & Chill

(Interpreting this literally, with the casual intimacy of close friends at most, not the "wink wink nudge nudge" version)

Zelda: She needs the space to not have the world on her shoulders for a little while, and she's likely to have interesting takes on whatever we're watching, whether silly or serious.

Link: Most likely to be sound asleep within fifteen minutes. Not necessarily a problem, though.

Ganondorf: Does he even know how to chill? That aside, the series implies he can be very charming, but never genuinely so — he charms only as a means to further his own lust for power. The vibes are rancid.

The Dark Beast: The vibes are no less rancid, but my apartment and I are unlikely to survive the encounter. Pass.

Ice Skating

Zelda: Doesn't strike me as the most coordinated of people, so hey, she's on my level! We'll fall down together a thousand times and nurse our bruises over tea afterward.

Link: He'll skate rings around me while giving me pointers on how to be more steady. His inner goofball will come out to play.

Ganondorf: Not remotely in his element. We all need humbling experiences, but these will only fuel his rage. The most likely outcome is we'll fall down a thousand times together, and he lifts me by the neck and chokes me to death in front of witnesses. Alternatively, the fear is an excellent motivator and I learn to skate.

The Dark Beast: Skates confound it completely, it falls and cracks the ice hard. If we're on an artificial rink, people with common sense run for their lives; people filming it for social media die messily once the beast finds solid ground. If we're on a frozen lake, the beast's attempts to get back up shatter the ice completely. The beast dies, along with me and three dozen innocent bystanders; I am remembered as a hero afterward (but Tiktok calls me problematic because of the bystanders; there's just no pleasing some people).

Dodgeball

Zelda: Initially has no confidence, but quickly learns to cast aside dignity in the name of fun and discovers she's actually very good at it (especially the dodge part, given that nobody ever lands a hit on her in canon). Lots of laughter.

Link: Hopelessly outclasses me, but intentionally limits himself for the sake of everyone having a good time. Sets up ridiculous challenges for himself in the name of entertainment; everyone loves it. There is a spontaneous parody of the Top Gun homoerotic volleyball montage.

Ganondorf: Thinks the entire thing is beneath him, until someone beans him square in the back of the head. The tennis boss par excellence throws the ball at the offender of his pride so hard it kills them and breaks the ball. Ball out of play, he then begins shooting dark energy balls at everyone left. Three or four intrepid souls manage to hang on dodging the energy balls for a few scant minutes; I go down early and fake death, rising again only after the paramedics arrive.

The Dark Beast: Is absolutely crap at dodgeball — he's an immense target, and never manages to hit Link in single combat, so accuracy is not his strength. He does somewhat better with multiple targets. The dodgeball isn't substantial enough to hurt him. Loses the game, but kills half a dozen and takes a nap in the middle of the playing field; finds the experience enriching.

Conclusion

If Ganondorf: Ganondorf for Netflix (rancid vibes, but I live, and no bystander deaths), Zelda for ice skating, and Link for dodgeball.

If the Dark Beast: Zelda for Netflix, Link for dodgeball again, and the Dark Beast for skating on the lake (best possible outcome for the world at large).

[engineboys]

the power of monaco has made me a f1, tennis and poker fan and that’s pretty crazy

[go-bonkers-go-foolish]

L showing up at Light's school and introducing himself as Hideki Ryuga is fucking hysterical to me. imagine how every other student there must have felt. that's like if you were at college and some weird goth supergenius kid who looks like he hasn't stepped outside in 20 years showed up at your school and introduces himself as Harry Styles but not the one you're thinking of, and then he follows around some other weird supergenius kid for a week and they play the world's most homoerotic game of tennis and then they both disappear off the face of the earth forever

[ofinkandust]

currently missing my babies :(

anyway i wanted to boost a little our silly litte sports rivals to lovers au (link) because its almost 20k hits and a homoerotic tennis movie is coming out this month <3 please let me know if you read it

[zingaplanet]

Our fandom has treaded treacherous waters and made it to where none has gone before:

Brainwashed professional sports media into a shipping fest

[lawlietisms]

i headcanon that light sat in his room after going to to-oh college and just thought. "i am not gay, that random emo boy i played tennis with is not hot." lawlight will forever be such a funny pairing to me because it's basically just light going "I'M NOT GAY STOP WASHING MY FEET IN A HOMOEROTIC MANNER" and l being entirely clueless and seeing him as his very first friend

[soulsilvers]

red green homoerotic tennis

hahah i made a whole comic practice out of this ☺️ perhaps one day a whole comic book with one regurillion pages could become real