#homophobic Zane has potential that’s all I’m saying

[spicyicymeloncat]

Sorry gang for being late to the party but this guy

And every other lava shipper is so right and I can’t believe I never even noticed I’m actually disappointed in myself.

Under cut I ramble aimlessly

When you think, oh yeah lava is no more valid than any other non canon Ninjago ship but then you get reminded

Cole is the most queer coded ninja, his true potential was about him coming out to his father. Also Kai is the most touchy in that episode, hugging him

In s7 when Jay calls out Nya’s name and Cole calls out Kai’s (Ik this and a lot of other points might be handwaved that Kai and Cole are more of a default match up just because everyone is already in relationships, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t in one too)

S10 Kai’s reaction of trying to turn back the ship, and then crying to Cole falling (although I’ll accept that this is more of his reaction to grief,m, counterpoint from Cube - Kai only really reacts like that, here and then with Nya both times she died)

S10 when Jay and Nya help each other up, Cole does the same for Kai (and then Cole takes his hand off Kai’s shoulder when Kai points to Zane coming over - yeah that doesn’t mean anything it’s just kinda sus)

S10 Kai and Cole paralleling Jaya’s hug also

Wildbrain era really said lavashipping

S11 Cole is the one supporting Kai when he brought back fire to the village. That could have been anyone it could’ve been Lloyd or Nya in that shot with him but it was Cole

S11 Cole being the one to comfort Kai when the village was frozen. S11 said “you can have all these close ups of Kai but it’s mandatory that Cole’s face is in the corner of the screen”

S12 and everything about it. “On one life Kai” jumping off the mountain to save Cole

S12 Kai watching Cole dance before Cole pulls him into dancing

S12 them sharing a car and then having the gayest sacrifice in the whole show (on the race track)

S12 also being notable for its dance lesbians (who aren’t confirmed to be gay but if it gets censored in Russia and Malaysia then I think it counts) and

Also s12 including couple moments for every other character (Jay and Nya, the Pixane episode, even Lloyd and Harumi show up (not saying their a good pairing, just that technically they were a romantic pairing at some point)

Cube mention s13 where Kai is the one to demand to search for Cole (which Ik can be handwaved as just Kai’s personality) and then Kai being one to call out to Cole just before the tunnels collapse whilst Zane doesn’t (again this could be chalked up to their personalities; Kai is the loud one and Zane doesn’t need to follow suit, but these are less of evidence and more of increasingly interesting add ons when after you watched prime empire). Tbf s13 had Kai and Cole separated so they couldn’t have interacted much anyways

The island, where Kai and Cole share more moments tm with Cole complaining he’s hungry and later on Kai getting Cole something to eat. This actually contextualises that one comment from Cole in s11 where he says he’s done with cake jokes from Kai. Anyways it’s cute that Kai first makes fun of Cole and then goes out and gets him food

Seabound where they both stayed behind to play video games. Do I need to say anything?

Crystalised, the only thing I remember is that one scene where Kai went for a hug but Cole ran passed him to get water

Besties that’s actually a lot yknow. Pretty sure that’s more interactions than both of those characters and other characters. It’s like lava is in a weird position where its not canon but it’s definitely more canon than the other non canon ships. Including kailor and conia.

No shade to either shippers but Conia’s only claim to canon is that Vania is a girl introduced in the Cole season, he said he didn’t even like her, and Kailor are not even dating. I think Tommy Andreasen and Chris Wyatt also tweeted that neither are dating (also Tommy replied in a tweet in regards to Cole’s sexuality that anyone’s interpretation is valid). (Also imo I personally see Vania is younger than the ninja yknow)

With Kailor, Kai barely knew her and she barely new him or literally anything other than the island, and they go their separate ways in the end. I mean Skylor definitely needed to establish her own identity after being an extension of her father her whole life so I think it’s fair. Yeah they continue to be good friends but Kai doesn’t even have Skylor’s number. Ik Kai visits Skylor in s7 but that’s to talk about his dad with someone who understands. Ig the more convincing moments are near the end of s9 where whilst some can be seen platonically, there is this one shot where they look at each other in a more romantic way (the same shot in which Cole embraces his true soulmate, cake), idk ig it can be just a hug but I will say, that post s4 that shot is probably the biggest Kailor contender. But as Cube said, it’s just a little awkward. Kai doesn’t really visit Skylor often and their closeness in s9 could be due to the fact that everyone nearly died? I’m assuming there’s a chance Kailor, regardless of whether it’s a thing in the past or the present, will be addressed in crystalised tho.

What is interesting is that both s4 and s13 have a lot of parallels. In both, the ninja stay over at a new place hosted by the villain, who underneath his house, owns slaves who he uses to earn money, and his daughter turns to the side of the ninja. Kailor and Conia have a lot of similarities (and therefore a lot of similar issues, such as the assumption that woman = love interest)

Also I don’t think I have to argue that Cole was ever interested in Nya. He was much more concerned with kicking Jay’s ass and we all know it.

But yeah lava is surprisingly a lot more convincing. Also some of their interactions (s10) do imply they’re keeping it a secret from the other ninja. Either because they’re worried how the others would react (although it’s hard to believe the legos are homophobic. Imagine. Homophobic Zane 🙀) but also, in a world where there probably is homophobia (considering there are pride flags) it’s still possible that there is a worry. I could see Kai being closeted since he very clearly showed interest in girls since s3 to s6 so the realisation that he is anything but straight may have shaken him and he’s not quite ready to be open about it (oh look a fanfic idea), and I can see Cole maybe wanting to be more private about the relationship since he tends to withdraw when anxious (see pilots, where the death of his mother made him leave home and climb mountains, see s4 where the group’s fight made him retreat to the forest to become a lumberjack, see s5 where he wanted to quit the team because he was a ghost, s11 where he leaves on his own because he felt bad about losing the tea, this guy has a history). The last romance related thing Cole was a part of was s3’s love triangle which was not fun, so maybe Cole is still kinda traumatised but that. Or on a lighter note, maybe they’re both seeing long it takes for the others to notice. An out of canon explanation is that it’s making fun of how Russia and Malaysia wouldn’t accept them either. Also that was in s10 and tbh since they canonically killed of Hageman (idk which one) in s11, there has been a lot more lava so maybe in canon they’ve become more of a relationship as time went on and they might be out now, if they weren’t before. Or maybe I’m reading into it too much.

Anyways they’d definitely have double dates with jay and Nya can you imagine Kai and Nya getting ready and then Cole and Jay (cuz they’re besties) getting ready because that’s cute.

That’s it. Just know I’ve successfully turned into a lavashipper (I mean polyninja ftw but as in this could literally be canon if Lego says yay to the gays) this is all I’m going to think about this week.

[hellomynameisbisexual]

So You're Feeling a Little Bicurious. We're Here to Help!

8 expert tips for exploring your sexuality.

BY ZACHARY ZANE OCT 18, 2019

After years of wondering if I could ever be intimate with another man, I decided to hook up with a dude my freshman year of college. I figured this "bicurious" thing clearly isn't a phase, since I'd been thinking about it for a few years. The only way I could know for sure if I was actually gay or bi was if tested the waters.

So I did. Alas, I got so drunk in order to have the courage to hook up with another man that I ended up puking midway through our encounter. After the experience, I could not tell you if I was gay or bi. Overall, the experience was "meh," like any really sloppy, drunken hookup regardless of gender.

The thing is, I went about hooking up with a guy all wrong. I had expectations about what I should feel, still struggled with internalized homophobia, and didn't realize that sexuality is a spectrum. I think that's why I felt even more confused after hooking up with a guy.

Still, I'm glad I did explore, and it did eventually lead me to embracing my sexuality, though it took another five years. Nevertheless, there were definitely things I could have done to better prepare myself for exploring sexually with other men. Things I learned years after the fact. Now, with the help of two sexuality experts, I'm going to impart what I wish I knew and had done before (and after) hooking up with my first guy.

1. Start with porn.

You don’t need to jump headfirst into penetrative sex with a man. Porn is a great way to explore your desires in a manner that’s accessible and private.

“As a starting point for acting out sexual fantasies, many people turn to pornography because it offers a ‘safe’ way to explore, especially if you’re a little afraid of acting it out or don’t know how to go about it,” says Dr. Justin Lehmiller, research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and author Tell Me What You Want.

For bicurious men specifically, Lehmiller notes there are plenty of pornos out there which feature bicurious themes. “So that’s probably the easiest starting point for getting a sense of what you do and don’t like,” he says.

2. Move to apps and chat rooms.

"Apps and chat rooms using sexting and video chats are great ways to explore how you feel about engaging sexually with men before jumping into the deep end and scheduling your first hook-up," says Jor-El Caraballo, a licensed mental health professional who works largely with LGBTQ+ clients. It allows you the opportunity to engage with other men sexually without doing anything IRL. (Grindr and Scruff are two good apps to use.)

3. Have a bisexual MMF threesome.

If after watching some bi/gay porn and talking to some dudes on apps/chat rooms, you’re thinking to yourself, alright, I think I could potentially be into this, it might be time to consider having a threesome with a woman and another man. In Lehmiller’s research on sexual fantasies, he’s found that a lot of bicurious guys report fantasies about mixed-gender threesomes. “I think the appeal of this scenario is that it seems less intimidating than hooking up with just another guy,” he says. “A lot of bicurious guys worry about what it means for their sexuality if they experiment with another guy, so being able to explore that with a woman present might make it less intimidating.”

4. Work on reducing internalized shame.

Exploring bi-curiosity isn't just getting out there and doing it with another guy. “It's important for men to understand that we live in sex-phobic and homophobic culture that helps shape what we see as possible for ourselves and our desires,” says Jor-El. This means that we first have to explore how much of our reluctance might be attributed to cultural attitudes and how much of it is solely our responsibility. “Naming that societal homo- and bi-phobia first is an important step,” he says.

5. Educate yourself.

One of the biggest ways to reduce internalized shame and to better understand how your sexuality might not be binary or stagnant (meaning, specifically, that you're not always exclusively gay or straight) is to educate yourself about sexuality. Alas, sex education leaves quite a few things to be desired here in the United States (and abroad, too). Instead of discussing how we come to form our sexual identity, some sex-ed classes never get beyond condoms on cucumbers—or teach abstinence-only curriculum.

"Because we live in a culture that has [negative] perspectives on bisexuality and same-sex attraction, it's important to gain exposure to alternative perspectives," Jor-El says. There are two books in particular Jor-El tends to recommend to his clients. The first is Brene Brown's Daring Greatly, which tackles shame resilience. The second is sexologist Dr. Chris Donaghue's book Sex Outside the Lines: Authentic Sexuality in a Sexually Dysfunctional Culture.

6. Recognize you might not have a big “aha” moment.

When I got to college, I decided I was going to finally explore my same-sex attractions that had been gnawing at me for the past few years. Without going into too many details (you can read about my full experience here), I left that first encounter feeling even more unsure of my sexual identity. I thought I was going to have this big “aha” moment. I’d kiss his lips and immediately realize, “Woah… I’m gay. I’ve never felt like this when I've been with women.” Or it would become crystal clear I definitely wasn’t into men. Neither happened. In fact, I came to the conclusion after the experience that I was straight, and it took me another five years of hooking up with men to embrace the fact that I am bisexual.

7. Talk to a therapist.

As always, it can be helpful to explore this in the safe space of therapy. "With a LGBTQ+ affirming therapist, you can talk through aspects of your sexuality that seem daunting or frightening to deal with on your own," Joe-El says. "This space will give you the security of a confidential and non-judgmental space where you can make your own decisions about what works best for you without outside pressure."

Personally, seeing a therapist was the most helpful thing when it came to exploring and eventually embracing my same-sex attractions. By the end of my third session, I began calling myself bisexual.

8. You can try it, not like it, and you're still straight.

There's this notion that if you so much as kiss a man once, you must be gay or bisexual. This makes it particularly scary and seemingly "binding" when you explore. You fear that if you experiment, and don't like it, people will wrongfully assume you're closeted. You fear that rumors surrounding your sexuality will haunt you for the rest of your life, but here's the truth about experimenting: If you come to the conclusion after hooking up with a guy that you're straight, then you are just as straight as a dude who's never experimented. One sexual act does not define your entire identity. Period.

Now if you're someone like me, who comes to realize, oh yeah, I really can get down hooking up with other men, then welcome to the club, my dude. Your world is about to get a hell of a lot more fun.

[toothlessturtle21]

Ninjago Pride Week Day Four: Allies

"Hey Kai?" Nya said as she applied makeup to her cheekbones, glancing up at her brother, who was sitting around on her bed just to give her some company.

"Yeah?" He said, scrolling through his phone, checking out the latest trending hashtags and memes.

"I know you and Zane are together."

Kai physically startled, juggling his phone for a second before catching it with his palms, gaping at his sister in awe.

"Wh- What?"

"I said that I know you and Zane are dating," She put down her brush and turned away from her vanity to look at her brother, who was still shell-shocked.

"Wait, how? I thought we were doing pretty good with this whole secret thing," He mumbled, and Nya smirked back at him.

"I don't know how long you've been dating for, but I went to ask you a question and you two were both asleep together on your bed. I would've just walked away, but you two were practically wrapped around each other. Speaking of that, you mind bringing him in here?" She asked sweetly, turning back to sharpen her highlighter. Kai nodded nervously and slipped out, heart beating a million times with each footstep he took towards the kitchen. To his relief, Zane was the only one there, a simple white apron tied around his neck as opposed to his pink frilly one, spatula in hand as he readied the first batch of pancakes.

"Morning," The Fire Ninja greeted, sauntering as casually as he could over to his boyfriend, as not to alarm him.

"Good morning. How did you sleep?" Zane glanced around before planting a peck on Kai's cheek, not noticing the unsteady glances being cast his way.

"Fine, fine. But uh," Kai dropped his voice to a whisper. "Nya just told me she found out about us. Remember when you were telling me stories about your dad and then we fell asleep? Turns out someone did see us."

Zane had set the down the spatula, both hands on the countertop with his head hung between his arms.

"Hey, it's ok. She's not upset," Kai soothed, patting the Ice Ninja's back as he tugged on his sleeve. "She wanted to talk to you. That's all. It'll be fine."

Kai had absolutely no way of knowing it was all fine, and Zane thought this with a bitter expression as he was led down the hall after the stove was shut off and his apron was put away. Kai took one last deep breath before opening her door, where she had just finished applying her last bit of mascara. She stood after setting her brush down, and approached the Ninja of Ice, his expression steeling as he expected threats of violence to be hurled his way.

He hadn't anticipated a hug.

Just like that, Nya's arms were wrapped around him, and he was hugging back, not quite sure what all of this meant.

"Thank you," She said as she pulled away, and Zane's confusion must have been evident on his face. "For loving him. I don't need to worry about him finding someone nice when he has you. If you're worried about me disapproving because you're a dude, I honestly couldn't care less. Really."

Zane was fairly sure he had never felt so relieved as Kai hugged his sister, tears beginning to well up in his eyes.

"I love you sis," He contended, and she smiled.

"Right back at you bro."

"Nya... thank you," Zane exhaled, feeling as though a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Telling Nya would have been the largest obstacle in making their relationship public, as she deserved to know before they dropped the bomb on the rest of the crew.

"Kai, can you leave us alone for a second?" The Samurai asked politely, and Kai agreed, no longer worried for his boyfriend's life.

Once alone, Nya sat down on her bed, and pat the sheets beside her. Zane took the invitation, and folded his hands gently in his lap once he was seated.

"I'm not going to give you the good ol' protective sibling talk, I just want to reiterate how happy I am that Kai has you. You are seriously the only person on this ship with a sensible head on your shoulders, and I think you balance out Kai's impulsiveness. Also, you're the only one who can properly cook spicy food," She smirked, but her voice faltered for a second when she saw Zane's face. His eyes were so wide that his irises were completely surrounded by white, lips gently parted. "Zane, are you-"

She was cut off by Zane wrapping his arms around her, much more personal than her quick squeeze earlier.

"Thank you, Nya," He said into her shoulder. "I don't think you understand how much this means to me."

"No problem, buddy."

Later, Kai and Nya were washing dishes together, standing side by side as they scrubbed.

"Hey sis? Thanks for what you said to Zane earlier. I don't think he's stopped smiling since," He set a plate down on the counter, and Nya snickered.

"I didn't even say anything revolutionary. Maybe you should compliment him more. Probably needs the self esteem boost."

"I'm nice to him," Kai scoffed playfully, "He wouldn't be dating me if I wasn't. It's just... he's happy to have some validation. He was worried about you since we started dating."

"And how long ago was that?"

"About six months," Kai shrugged, and Nya nodded, impressed.

"Congrats. As far as I know, everyone else has no idea."

"And we intend to keep it that way," Kai unintentionally glared at the dish in his hand for a second before setting it down, and Nya raised an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"What if someone is homophobic? We're not willing to break up the team or with each other because we made the mistake of trusting our teammates. And I know that sounds stupid and selfish, but I couldn't stand to lose him. I can't."

"Well, you need to."

Kai had picked up a dish at the start of his small rant, and on that note, it slipped out of his hand and came crashing to the ground, shattering on impact.

Nya scrambled back as though a snake had lunged itself at her, and Kai could only stare in shock as a few ceramic pieces slashed into his feet. Quick footsteps approached the room, and soon Zane was scooping a protesting Kai into his arms to remove shards of plate from his feet.

"Zane, I can walk, I'll be fine," The Fire Ninja resisted, but only slightly, as Zane's look sent a very clear message of shut up and let me help you.

Nya volunteered to sweep up the mess, so Zane took Kai to the bathroom, where all of the bandages were. He set Kai down on the sink, where he could kneel and easily access his feet.

"What happened?" Zane asked as he grabbed a pair of tweezers to inspect for any remaining shards.

"I just dropped a plate," Kai huffed, and Zane bit his lip, wanting to pry but knowing Kai was not in the mood to talk.

"This might sting a little," The Ice Ninja warned as he removed a piece from a larger gash, Kai hissing in response. "Sorry."

"Don't worry about me, keep doing your job," Kai said through gritted teeth, and Zane apologetically rubbed his leg as he stood, wetting a cotton ball with water before dabbing at the wounds with care, as not to upset the Fire Ninja even more.

"I don't know what has made you irritable, but I won't press. I am sorry if I did anything to upset you," Zane said as a safety measure as he cleaned the cuts, and Kai reached down to rest a hand on Zane's head.

"Stop. You know you didn't do anything. It's just... Nya asked why we haven't told the team, and I got upset and dropped the plate."

"Did you tell her the truth?" Zane asked, knowing this topic was very volatile between them, even though they both held similar mindsets. Kai hummed in affirmation, giving Zane's hair a quick ruffle before retracting his hand.

"She said that we needed to," Kai fidgeted his fingers in his lap, and Zane hesitated in his cleaning.

"And why is that?"

"I don't know. I didn't get the chance to ask."

"I trust we are still on the same page on this issue?" Zane grabbed a new wet cotton ball, and Kai sighed.

"Actually, Zane, I think we should," Kai steeled himself for his boyfriend's retaliation, but Zane merely faltered in his movements, looking up at his beau with the same blue eyes Kai could get lost in for hours.

"Why? I thought we both had agreed that telling our teammates could potentially shatter our dynamic as a crew. We could ruin friendships and relationships with each other, they might be closeted homophobes, we don't know," Zane's voice cracked on the last three words, and Kai chewed on the inside of his cheek.

"I think we can trust them. I know you're scared," The Fire Ninja couldn't stand to see Zane so distressed, but he knew he had to get his point out there, "but we can't stay silent forever. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. We can lounge on the couch without fearing someone's going to walk in on us, or you could lean your head on my shoulder when we're watching movies with the crew."

Zane shut his eyes, running numbers through his head, equations that he had explained to Kai when they had first begun dating. When his eyes fluttered open, hands reaching for the bandages, he nodded.

"Alright. We can inform the others of our relationship."