#honestly fabian might not even fully know yet

[biblicalhorror]

Aroace Riz real but also Fabian is SO clearly in love with him and Riz has no idea

[jq37]

The Report Card – Fantasy High Sophomore Year Ep 6

The Fall of Fabian Seacaster

OK, let’s do this.

We pick back up with Kristen and Riz who are still outside Garthy’s room. Kristen’s Detect Good and Evil from last week pings Garthy as well as the general aura of the Golden Gardens which is protected in the way a sanctum sanctorum would be but with celestial energy. Riz and Kristen improvise a not super cogent plan that involves ribbon dancing and knocking over barrels before Riz just decides to cut to the chase and ask Garthy’s guards to send for Sandra-Lynn. Once she comes out (still looked sexed up and pretty annoyed) they’re not quite sure what to ask her and Riz wants to bail but Kristen (who has cast Zone of Truth, tried to muscle into Garthy’s house, and gotten smacked down physically by Sandra-Lynn) says that she’s worried about Sandra-Lynn because she’s “not poly but [she’s] acting poly.” Being directly called out is enough to snap Sandra-Lynn out of it (and to think about Fig’s reaction) so she agrees to get her stuff and come back to the gang’s suite.

Meanwhile, Fabian is hanging out with Bill’s cult of 20-ish warlocks. They’re all super glad to see Fabian--who they assume has been sent by Bill to help them--and they want him to regale them with the tale of how he slew his father in battle. Fabian tells them the story which, as you all know, isn’t a story about besting his father in a hard-fought battle so much as it is about a story about bittersweet mercy killing. They are less than impressed, especially considering they want Fabian to defeat Captain James Wicklaw who has promised to kill all of Bill’s followers. Ego stung, Fabian says that he may not have bested his father but he did (help) kill a dragon and, more importantly, he’s gonna lead them into an ambush against Captain Wicklaw (who he sees, presumably looking for him, with 30 men).

Oh boy.

Fabian telepathically alerts the Hangman that he’s about to get into a big fight before slamming down a door and full-out attacking Captain Wicklaw. He’s able to get a good couple of attacks in and Wicklaw misses his first couple of attacks but then Fabian fails an intelligence save with a Nat 1 and gets stunned while Wicklaw tries to open his skull and eat his brain.

Meanwhile with the rest of the Bad Kids, the Hangvan alerts Gorgug that the Hangman has sped off and everyone assumes Fabian is in trouble. They all do their best to get to him as quickly as possible and, even though these scenes are intercut with Fabian’s I’m going to summarize them all at once:

Fig (w/ Gorgug in tow) Dimension Doors as close to the Hangman as she can. Then, Gorgug has the idea to try the classic pirate move of grabbing a rope, cutting the weight, and instantly flying to where on the ship you want to go. They try that and begin flying towards Fabian at terminal velocity, both dislocating their arms. Fig passably disguises herself as Jemina Joy (even with quadruple disadvantage) and tries to get a wizard to teleport her to where Fabian is but they’re going way too fast for anyone to hear her. Gorgug (also with quad disadvantage) tries to throw a hand axe and, on a nat 1, almost cuts the rope they’re swinging on.

Gilear is fully passed after a back-slap from Fig.

Adaine casts fly on Riz (because his rogue speed means he can make the most use of it) so he can go get Garthy to see if they have any teleport spells. Then, she gets on Baxter with Kristen and Sandra-Lynn (plus Tracker who follows in spectral wolf form). Kristen tries to bring up Sandra-Lynn’s relationship stuff again and Adaine casts Tasha’s Hideous Laughter on her. Adaine tries to pull from the jacket to get something to help her get to Fabian faster and she gets a Razor scooter.  

Ragh drives the Hangvan towards Fabian’s.

Riz finds Garthy who takes him to a room, pops out neon angel wings, and does some kind of teleport spell that almost seems like it moves the space closer to them rather than the reverse.

But, none of this really matters because Brennan says none of them will be able to make it to Fabian before 22 rounds of combat. Woof.

Still in the first round of combat, 2 of the warlocks manage to hit Wicklaw and break Fabian out of his grapple (right after Wicklaw says that he’s eaten many of Fabian’s siblings but let’s put a pin in that because we have so much to get through here). Fabian declares that all spells are on him for the remainder of the fight (which is maybe the last funny thing he says all night). Then, 6 of the 20 warlocks on Fabian’s side die to gunshots from Wicklaw’s men. Fabian sends his men forward then falls back and attacks with his crossbow. Wicklaw mocks him for abandoning his crew so viciously that I feel like he should have spontaneously taken a level in bard. Brennan rolls for the ten still living pirates who never got names and only one survives. Then he rolls for the named pirates (Alistair and the three I haven’t mentioned yet because this episode is A Lot--Chungle-Down Bim, Old-Young Benjamin, and Creaky McBarrel) and only Creaky dies. In two rounds, Bill’s cult is down to four (plus one guy who peaced out after Fabian said he didn’t actually brutally murder his dad).

Fabian’s tactical retreat shakes the confidence of everyone but Alistair who stays loyal (even as he gets wrecked on his next attack on Wicklaw). Chungle-Down Bim is so disgusted by Fabian’s cowardice and performance that he tries to Eldritch Blast him and misses. He says, “Yeh ain’t no pirate and Bill would spit in yer eye.” Fabian has to hold back tears. He, with a heartbreaking mix of trepidation, reluctance, and resolve, asks if there are any ropes he can use to escape. Roll a perception check. He does.

Natural 1.

Sure, Brennan says. There’s a rope that looks like it will 100% guaranteed hold Fabian’s weight. Fabian goes for it--leaving behind a stunned and crushed Alistair--and finds that it’s actually a clothesline. He goes plummeting down a quarter-mile towards the ground but, before he actually hits, he hits a bunch of other ropes and, on his last possible chance, is able to save from splatting and taking max fall damage. Lou opts to take some damage anyway because he’d feel like he was cheating otherwise.

The rest of the group shows up through their various means and all immediately assume that Fabian got jumped. Fabian is meek in a way we’ve never seen before. I’m talking Adaine with Jawbone in Prompocolypse meek. He doesn’t tell them what happened and he answers all the questions with short yesses or no’s as much as possible. The healers heal him (plus Fig and Gorgug) up and take him back to the suite. The Hangman asks if he’s alright. “No Hangman,” he says. “It’s all bad.” Cathilda brings him kippers but he feels like he doesn’t deserve them.

Garthy has a little tete-a-tete with Fig about their tryst with Sandra-Lynn. Garthy is all about getting down but not if that person is in a monogamous relationship (even though they’re against them on principle). Fig (who has been avoiding her mom since the top of the ep) says she’s only mad at Sandra-Lynn (she says Sandra-Lynn, not Mom--oof) since Garthy didn’t know better. It just sucks that this happened to Jawbone. Jawbone as in Jawbone O'Shaughnessy? asks Garthy. Turns out he’s visited (many times) and they’ve boned (super hard) which, honestly, totally tracks.  

Because she didn’t get a full night of sleep, Tracker can’t keep the Moon Haven spell up all night which isn’t great. Kristen can also gather than she’s too tired to remember anything that happened earlier in the night (ie: things about Sandra-Lynn and Jawbone). Fig, concerned that she might get mind controlled again without the Moon Haven up asks Adaine to tie her up (this actually happens before the above conversation with Garthy).

Sleeping arrangements are Fabian, the Hangman, and Riz as a bodyguard in one room and everyone else in another. Adaine trances a little early so she can regain her spells and be awake in case anything happens. Brennan makes everyone do wisdom saves. Kristen and Adaine roll high and Adaine gives her TWO (2) NAT 20 portent rolls to Fig and Gorgug. That leaves Riz and Fabian, but we’ll get to them in a minute.

Adaine wakes up from her trance and she sees Ragh get up early as well. He says he’s going to get some food. Adaine, vigilant as ever asks Ragh who his first kiss was. Ragh acts confused for a second, and then screeches and attacks her, waking everyone up. He’s been dominated. Adaine goes for a Tasha’s Hideous Laughter and subdues him. Also Fig is able to escape Adaine’s magical ropes so maybe she’s not the best person to do that next time.

Meanwhile, Fabian is having a nightmare. He dreams of Wicklaw trying to eat his brain and Chungle-Down spitting in his face and his betrayal of Alistair. He sees the ghosts of the warlock  cultists entering hell and his disappointed father. And then, he’s approached by a man. A man with a familiar, non-threatening sounding, yogurt-offering voice. Fabian, like Adaine before, feels very strongly that if he looks at this man’s face, something terrible will happen but he does take the offered yogurt and agrees to go with him without looking at him. He’s taken to a lovely, sunny, kind of museum area dedicated to Bill Seacaster. Fabian thinks it’s very nice but he starts to notice that though there are many pictures of Bill and Hilariel, there are none of him. He asks why. The man says that Fabian needs to look at him. Fabian is hesitant. The man says that Fabian really needs to look at him. The yogurt in Fabian’s stomach curdles, weakening him (and me because yogurt grosses me out on the best of days and this is not the best of days). The man turns Fabian’s face to look at him and Fabian finds himself looking at a doughy, middle-aged Fabian Seacaster. He laughs hysterically and Fabian wakes up, plunged into the sea.

Elsewhere, Riz wakes up in his room. Fabian is gone, he’s paralyzed, the Hangman has been stabbed through by Fabian’s sword and is leaking oil, and Kalina is sitting on his bed. She was able to get in with the Moon Haven spell down. She speaks to him unsettlingly casually. She sounds almost friendly as she demands Riz and his friends stop looking for the Nightmare King’s crown on the pain of their lives. Riz, a grizzled old knight to his core like all of Murph’s characters, can’t wrap his head around why she would be doing this. It’s simple. Power. She psychologically toys with him, saying that Riz throws himself into his cases (which she seems to know quite a bit about) to distract himself from how sad he is about his dead dad. Then, she says that Fabian is in massive danger and if Riz doesn’t play ball (pun not intentional but it’s staying in), he’ll die. Riz assumes she knows where the Nightmare King’s crown is and she asks why he’s sure she knows which makes him think she actually doesn’t know. Riz, who sleeps with his sword because he’s rightfully paranoid, uses it to Misty Step outside but he’s still paralyzed so he just hits the ground and breaks his arm.

Kalina meets him outside, tells him Fabian is long gone, and tries to bargain with him: information about his dad for information about what he knows. Riz counter-offers that he’ll tell her about where the Nightmare King’s crown is if she guarantees his friends’ safety. She doesn’t care about the crown. She wants to know what Riz knows about her. Riz agrees (to save Fabian) and tells her everything he knows except that he withholds the information about Adaine’s mom being involved and tries to withhold the information he got from Ragh but he accidentally gives himself away without saying Ragh’s name. That’s enough for her to put two and two together though and she leaves to kill Ragh’s mom.

Back in the sea, Fabian has to make three Constitution checks. He rolls two nat 20s in a row for the first two and is rescued two flying imp monsters (presumably sent by Kalina) who drop him off at the edge of town. Fabian, absolutely destroyed, rips off his eyepatch and takes off his Owlbear jacket as he makes his way back. He rolls one last Constitution check. Nat 1. He’s got pneumonia. Cathilda shows up in the Hangvan to pick up Fabian.

The rest of the group is still shaken up by Ragh’s attack. They snap him out of it and someone gets Garthy. Post Riz’s encounter with Kalina, Ragh bursts in, devastated and says that someone from home called and said that his mom died. The whole group is immediately suspicious because--post Gorgug/Zelda debacle--they know they shouldn’t have signal. Ragh tries to call another number and all he hears is laughing on the other end. When Riz (healed up by Garthy) looks, he sees that his phone shows 5 bars for a second. Riz, Tracker, and Sandra-Lynn also see the flicker. Possibly illusion magic. Tracker and Garthy can also now suddenly see the Shadowcat in the picture (but it doesn’t seem like the rest of the Bad Kids can). Riz thinks Ragh’s mom is in serious danger but not dead yet.

Garthy has the idea to send the group to the Leviathan Library so maybe Adaine can learn a Sending Spell to communicate with their various parents and allies in Solace. They give Adaine a note that says to let the group safely use the library addressed to one Aida Aguefort.

Fig checks in with Sandra-Lynn to see if maybe she was under the influence of something more malevolent than alcohol when she cheated. Sandra-Lynn cries, and admits that she just F’d up but that they should deal with the problem at hand for now and that’s where we end, with the bulk of the group en route to the library.  

Detention

Fabian for Everything

Oh Fabian.

Fabian, Fabian, Fabian.

I don’t think I have ever seen a series of events so driven by a single character’s careless actions.

Truly, almost every single bad thing that happened in this episode can be traced directly to Fabian losing his entire chill at the worst possible time.

All those warlocks, dead (And Alistair either dead, seriously hurt, or set on the path to show back up with a vendetta later on down the road).

Because Tracker didn’t get her 8 hours, she couldn’t do the Moon Haven properly which is why Ragh got mind-controlled, the Hangman got stabbed, and he got brain-jacked and dumped into the ocean.

It’s why Kalina got to Riz. It’s why Lydia’s in danger.

And it wasn’t just that what he did was dumb, it was also completely unnecessary. There was no plot reason for what he did and he wasn’t forced into it. It was a completely character driven decision and it was bad, y’all. It was pretty much an absolute fail parade.  

Honor Roll

Brennan and Lou for Absolutely Stellar Roleplay

Everyone had their moments this episode.

Siobhan and Zac made some clever choices. Ally brought some needed levity. Emily subtly continued her emotional threads about Fig’s relationship with her mom and her distress over her actions while mind controlled. And Murph had that absolutely stellar scene in the back half of the back half of the ep with Kalina.

But Brennan and Lou 100% carried this episode.

Brennan is such a good DM that I feel like it’s almost easy to take for granted. Like, if you visit a town, you’re gonna talk about how how cool the shops, and food, and events were. Not about how well the roads are paved. But if the roads are all janky and potholed and stuff then it’s a big issue.

This episode clearly took a major turn from whatever was supposed to happen but Brennan deftly kept pace with all of Fabian’s wild choices and made sure the roads were paved before he got there.

So much of this episode was just Brennan talking to one other person (Fabian and then Riz during the Kalina scene) and he nailed all of it. The disgust from Chungle-Down. The betrayal from Alistair. The concern from Cathilda. The quiet but sinister lilt of Nightmare Fabian. And the affable, dispassionate, Just Business evil from Kalina.

And Lou. Everything Fabian did this episode was an extremely bad idea but it is exactly what Fabian would do in the situation. Lou played him completely consistently, even when it clearly pained him to do so. 

When Lou rolled a nat 1 on his perception check for an escape rope, Brennan essentially handed him a fully loaded gun and said shoot yourself, and Lou grit his teeth and he did it.

Mad respect to both of them for keeping the tension and gravity going for a full three hours basically. That was lightning in a bottle. D&D is an amazing game.

Random Thoughts

I know there’s a significant chunk of the fandom that ships Riz and Fabian and, can I just say, RIP to y’all.

It really was narratively cool that we started out with the Sandra-Lynn plot in this crazy, over the top, comic scene and then ended with the quiet conversation between Fig and her mom on the same topic. It really was a through line throughout the episode without over-shadowing the main drama. This episode had a clear A and B plot just like a scripted show.

Also if Garthy is a powerful as Brennan is making them seem, wild that the NK and Kalina were able to bust through what is supposed to be super sanctified ground, especially since Tracker--a jr. cleric--has been keeping them at bay by herself.

Zac: This is a real Axford move.

Also Zac: I don’t understand what’s gonna happen if this goes well.

Riz and Murph Equally: We’re so stupid.

I think it’s funny how players in D&D tend to treat Zone of Truth like it forces them to spontaneously say things that are true rather than just preventing them from actively lying.

The kinda wild thing about how this whole mess started is that Fabian’s character development is part of why it happened. When he told the warlocks about the dragon and his dad, he gave everyone else their due credit, didn’t hog the spotlight, and didn’t lie/embellish the truth to make himself sound cooler. That in turn disappointed them which made him relapse into S1 Fabian who attacked Gorgug on the first day of school for absolutely no reason. I was actually going to give him major credit for that before he, you know. Made some other choices. He absolutely gushed about how cool his friends were and then invited exactly none of them to his terrible plan.

Lol at Lou being like, “I rolled to get Alistair to make a better speech?”

Bill’s cult of about 20 guys has collectively sent him like 350k gold. That’s insane! They’re all so poor!

Lou playing Fabian very confidently making an absolutely suicidal decision, and then surfacing to laugh hysterically for a full thirty seconds out of character about how he’s for sure gonna die, was such a mood. It was like Lou was being held at gunpoint by Fabian for the entire first half of the session.

Big props to Zac for trying to get everyone in on the action by suggesting the Hangvan would see that the Hangman was gone and let the group know.

OK, so now let’s talk about that line about Wicklaw having eaten many of Fabian’s siblings. Hoo boy. You know this episode was wild because that line was said and never followed up on. What might have been a headline in a different episode was a footnote in this one. No big surprise that Bill would have fathered a ton of kids. That pretty much tracks, as Adaine said last ep. I feel like this was something that was going to come up regardless, Fabian just forced it to be right then and there. This dude hates Bill so going after his kids seems like an obvious move (unless he’s bluffing I guess, but I doubt it). But, like, did Bill know about these kids? Was he fully ignorant? Willfully ignorant? Did they know they were Bill’s kids? Are there any left? Can Fabian please have a little pirate sister because I would love that so much you don’t even know.

You think Lou expected to say (loosely quoting), “I try not to cry in front of Chungle-Down Bim,” when he woke up that morning? Idk but I can tell you that I didn’t expect to hear it and feel strong emotions about it.

Chungle-Down Bim, which is short for Bimothy.

Lol, Brennan makes Emily rolls with Quadruple disadvantage and she still gets a 15 because she has a plus 11 to persuasion. No wonder she’s so quick to slam the disguise self button if there’s even a sliver of a chance it’ll work.

Adaine getting a useless Razor scooter on the way to try and help Fabian and then being like, “Well, I’m still gonna keep it,” was such a funny beat during the tenseness of that fight scene.

I need you guys to know that this is a mindflayer ability: Extract (Ex): An Illithid that begins its turn with all four tentacles attached and successfully maintains its hold automatically extracts the opponent’s brain, instantly killing that creature. Truly what was he thinking? You’re gonna eat his brain? Go ahead because he clearly isn’t using it!

You know the part of Princess Bride when Wesley is giving the “To the Pain” speech to Humperdinck? I feel like that’s what Brennan did to Fabian this episode. “Oh you think I’m going to kill you? No, that would be too easy. This fight is to the pain. You will watch your allies get slaughtered until you are forced to betray them or die. You will escape but in the most clownish fashion possible after breaking your most loyal ally’s heart. You will be beset by your concerned friends and forced to either own up to your horrible life choices or stew with them and lie by omission. You will be the reason your ultimate enemy is able to break in and attack your friends and you will be forced with your worst nightmare before being unceremoniously dumped into the sea. You won’t die. You’ll just wish you had.” Absolutely brutal.

Anyone else feeling a possible villain turn from Allistair? Dude’s a warlock so he’s already prone to dabbling in questionable power sources. And Fabian really did him dirty. I was hoping he’d at least get Kristen or Tracker to try to see if he was around anywhere for a heal but he just went into shellshock shutdown mode and they bounced. We didn’t see him die on screen so I feel pretty strongly that we’ll be seeing him again in some form.

Also, maybe I’m way off, but did you guys feel like Fabian missed a clear opportunity? I thought he was gonna ask his dad for help. Or, at least try and talk to him before the fight. Clearly it’s possible because the warlocks are doing it. Just pray for some infernal intervention or guidance or powers or something? Worth a shot when you’re in such a bad situation anyway.

Fabian never did tell the party what was going on. They all still think he was ambushed and forced into a fight somehow. I really can’t wait for the truth to come out. I wonder how long he’ll sit on that info. He better tell them before they fight Wicklaw again and they find out that way.

Every single player playing up their concern for Fabian and making a point to presume he was in the right and that it had been a wrong place/time situation to make him feel even more like garbage was *chefs kiss*.

The Hangman basically acting like a big metal dog and pressing itself up against Fabian to comfort him is weirdly adorable.

“Anyway, I’m gonna go get tied up.”/“What?”

Also I love Adaine’s reaction to being asked to do it. She’s like, “What? I mean, I’ll do it but, what?” Sidenote, Fig said she was gonna ask Riz as her first choice but that’s also a terrible choice! He has like a minus 2 strength modifier I think. Ask Gorgug!

Truly, the entire episode can be encapsulated in the fact that Siobhan was sitting there with two nat 20 portent rolls but sidelined and useless because Fabian decided to go completely rogue.

I have to give Adaine big credit for checking to see if Ragh was mind controlled because whenever I’m watching a show where a bad guy can shapeshift or possess people, I always think, “Why don’t they just have a codeword or something?” This is one of the few times I’ve seen it properly executed. Genre savviness saves lives people.

Fabian’s rolls really matched his decisions this week. It was like the dice were punishing him with all those nat 1s on crucial checks.

Also, Brennan being like, “You get pneumonia” was lowkey hilarious. Just like, insult to injury. What’s next? He’s gonna die on dysentery on the Oregon Trail?

I wonder if Fabian is considering chronomancy-ing this away? The thought for sure crossed my mind. Also, everyone was joking about everything being all a dream, but that’s something that could happen in this campaign without it being cheap because it’s been set-up that that’s the kind of bad guy they’re up against so I’m staying vigilant.

Ragh coming into the room and, voice cracking, announcing that his mom was dead cut me up so bad. And I thought it would be not as bad on my rewatch. Nope, still awful. I can’t believe I like him so much now. This is like a Steve from Stranger Things level turnaround for me. Also, the chat was absolutely blowing up when Murph was like, “I tell her everything,” without excepting Ragh’s info at first. Brennan is a nice DM for reminding him about that (despite the absolute ravaging of Riz and Fabian otherwise this ep).

Also gotta give a shout out to Murph this ep for playing Riz so well during the confrontation with Kalina. His steadfast, simple, “We can’t stop. It would be wrong. Fullstop,” mentality is so pure. Riz is such an interesting character. When he tried to withhold info, Murph said, “I have low deception.” That’s who Riz is. He’s a rogue with low deception. He’s sneaky but only in pursuit of justice. No guile at all. Kalina, who is as casual as he is wound up and amoral and he is knightly is such an interesting foil for him. I’m very intrigued to see how this develops.  

Like I said in the recap, Garthy and Tracker can now see Kalina in the picture, even though neither of them saw her when she broke in (that they know of) so the plot thickens there. I’d go into it more but I really don’t have any new theories off the top of my head and this was honestly the least of my worries re: this ep.

Also, she says that all of her abilities come from serving the NK, and she had the abilities since she was working with Pok so this doesn’t seem to be a new development. I will say though, based on the info the group got, I really thought she was gonna be a more ancient being, you know? Maybe it’s just a title and she’s just the latest tabaxi to serve him and get it? I dunno.

Truly the mood for this episode was dawning horror. Things just got progressively worse in new and interesting ways every single scene.

Speaking of, let’s talk about Fabian’s vision. First of all, Brennan did a great job real-time DJ-ing that scene. The switch to that creepy music was very unsettling. Second of all, the chat exploding when Brennan started doing That voice and everyone for a brief moment thought that maybe, Maybe, Gilear was the Nightmare King, was delicious. But, on to the important stuff: When this happened to Adaine, my guess was that if she had looked at figure, it would have been a representation of her anxiety which I think was like 65% correct based on what happened to Fabian. Her worst possible future for herself is probably herself ruled by anxiety to the point of uselessness so she would have seen that version of herself. Fabian’s worst possible future self is essentially Gilear. Which, on behalf of Gilear, ouch. But, yeah, I see why it would be. And, honestly, NK-Fabian was worse than Gilear. Gilear is pathetic, sure, but he’s pathetic in pursuit of his own goals. To be stuck in his dad’s shadow, devoid of any other purpose is the antithesis of Fabian’s whole making a name for himself thing and a sick twisting of his very real pride in his dad. It’s a real raw nerve to hit, especially right after his colossal failure that left him feeling unworthy of even his favorite snack.

I’m really glad Fabian looked at the face of his nightmare. Brennan pushed him a little (in that fantastically unnerving, cajoling yet demanding voice) but I think he would have done it anyway. Like, it’s good information for the team to have and, if anyone was gonna get hit, it made most sense for it to happen right then, when Fabian was already at basically his lowest point. Both Adaine and Fabian felt like something horrible would happen if they looked at their nightmare and I’m wondering if there’s a mechanical effect to that or if it’s just psychological. I feel like there might be some not yet revealed mechanical effect going on but, when your players are as devoted to the RP as Lou (who, again, asked to take damage from his fall even after Brennan was gonna let him off with just the shame) you can get away with just giving the character trauma and having the player hinder their own actions based on it.

Titles for this recap that I rejected include Actions and Consequences and Keyfish 2: Pirate Boogaloo (because the first part of this episode truly felt like the CritRole Keyfish incident but spread out over an hour and a half).

Yet another thing that would have been a headline item in another recap but is just a footnote here: Aida Aguefort. That’s gotta be a sibling, ex, or parent (in my order of probability). What is an Aguefort doing running a pirate library? Are they as chaotic as the other Aguefort? I think it would be very funny if Arthur is this dude in a high position in a ���normal” town who is just feral and Aida is living on this insane pirate island but, like, a completely normal librarian.

Oh, speaking of Aguefort, Kalina called him out on his child soldier factory and, listen, I know she was just trying to hurt Riz but she doesn’t not have a point.

Kristen was able to discern that Tracker probably won’t remember what happened with Sandra-Lynn but I hope she keeps track of that info because if Tracker rolls high perception and finds out that she semi-willfully kept that information from her, she might be miffed.

Are all of Bill’s dead warlocks gonna work on his hell ship now? Didn’t they become warlocks specifically because they were bad at being pirates?

I notice the group didn’t wait for Fabian even after Riz presumably told them what happened. I also notice that Cathilda was able to find Fabian right away which is interesting.

Adaine solemnly Razor scooting at the front of the party towards the library is low key hysterical.

Fig better hope it doesn’t get back to Jemina that she was being impersonated.

Also, that plan was crazy but super not the craziest thing Emily has ever done and Brennan backed her up on that. He was like, “This is good. This isn’t Hilda Hilda,” which is where the bar is because Emily is crazy.

Fig: We’re gonna fail./Gorgug: We’re gonna die./Adaine: And, more importantly, we’re gonna fail school.

Riz’s “How about no dead friends,” one-liner was so good. Unfortunately, it didn’t do anything to stop his paralysis. Ouch.

I’m assuming Kalina was asking what he knew to see if there was anyone she needed to kill because they knew too much about her? Because, otherwise, it seems like unimportant info for her. I was thinking when it was happening that she needed him to give her that information so they could take it from him and he wouldn’t have it anymore, like in a weird Fae way, but that doesn’t seem to be the case. It’s probably just the simple thing.

Garthy doesn’t leave the Golden Gardens which is probably good for game balance. You don’t want to give the players a super powerful ally who has no reason not to help them at any given time. That’s rife for PC abuse.

I have to say, after last week, I was hoping we’d be done with the pirate stuff halfway through the ep and en route to Falinel but this was such a turn. I was saying to someone last week, it’s very tempting to try and predict where a D&D game is going by using typical narrative structure as a guide but that only halfway works because you really can’t account for the improvisational nature of it. I absolutely could not have guessed that this is what this episode would be and I’m glad.

Goes without saying, this ep totally snatched the crown for Most Heart Attacks Given To Me By BLM from Family in Flames.

“The game isn’t about what you plan; it’s about what happens,” sounds like a line from an inspirational Ted Talk, and not from a man who, minutes later, said that a pirate named Chungle-Down Bim wanted to use a teenager’s mouth as a toilet.

“I feel drunk from anxiety.” Same Ally.

You wanna know how many pages of handwritten notes I have for this episode? If you guessed 16, you’re right. And I was so into the ep, I forgot to keep track of crits, which is why I had to watch it a second time.

Emily proposing “felettes” as the feminine version of fellas.

“How many HP you at?”/”I’m not telling you.”

Just, the idea of this warlock drawing on Bill’s power to try and attack his son is so raw.

Brennan, being asked by Zac if he can help with Emily’s crazy plan: You absolutely may not and, in fact, take five points of damage.”

Siobhan: What do you have to lose?/Gorgug: *Rolls a nat 1 and almost severs the rope he and Fig are holding on to*

Garthy plays the harpsichord (I have in my notes harpsichord and not harp so I’m going with that) post-coital which is definitely a choice.

The shot of levity that Brennan injected between the big fight and the NK invasion by having Garthy know Jawbone was great. I knew it was coming as soon as Fig said his name, but the comic timing was still perfect. Apparently, Jawbone’s stories are crazy even by Garthy’s standards, which is wild.

Also funny, Fig being tied up as combat started. It didn’t end up making a difference but, at a certain point, when enough bad things have happened, piling more bad stuff on top just becomes funny like, yeah. Of course. That tracks.

Ally: Sleep when you’re dead, which might be this episode.

Riz and Gorgug (and Allistair) each roll one nat 1. Kristen rolls a nat 20. Adaine has 20s for both of her portent rolls (which she gives to Fig and Gorgug). And Fabian rolled an amazing 2 Nat 20s (in a row) and FIVE nat 1s.  

Edit: Oh, forgot to say! Next week there won’t be a game because Thanksgiving is happening in the States. Early Happy Thanksgiving for y’all in the U.S. who are celebrating. I’m thankful for a week off to recover after the ordeal that was this episode. 

[Footnote: This ended up cracking 6000 words, in case you’re wondering about the ways I choose to spend my time. Shoutout to y’all for reading these and justifying the dissertation length brain dumps my dumb, former English major brain compels me to produce for absolutely no good reason.]

[remywrites5]

Rumor Has It

           Remus was heading inside from herbology when he noticed a few second years by the lake look over at him. He met their gaze and the group of girls erupted into giggles. He glanced down at himself to make sure he wasn’t wearing anything embarrassing. For a second he thought it might be one of those awful dreams where he went to class wearing nothing but his pants.

           But it wasn’t a dream and he was fully clothed. When he looked back over at the group of girls, they giggled even harder, whispering to each other. Remus furrowed his brow and wondered just what about him was so funny. He wasn’t normally such a cause for amusement. Mostly he was known at Hogwarts by proxy of being friends with James and Sirius and he honestly preferred things that way. Considering his “furry little problem,” he wasn’t trying to attract unwanted attention his way.

           It was Spring of Remus’ sixth year at Hogwarts and most days he was just relieved that no one had found out about his Lycanthropy. It had been a close a few years back when Snape found out, but Remus hadn’t been run out of Hogwarts yet. He considered that an achievement. He never thought he’d get to be around kids his own age or have a group of friends like the Marauders.

           Still, having what he could only describe as infamous friends meant that the whole school knew them from their many pranks over the years. However having second year students laughing at his expense wasn’t exactly par for the course. Remus wasn’t often a subject of ridicule except when it came to a few choice Slytherins.

           Having eyes on him made Remus feel uncomfortable and he was suddenly very aware of how alone he was. If James or Sirius were there they would have done something stupid to make the girls laugh harder. They would have attracted even more attention. Peter, on the other hand, would have just been happy to have people noticed him.

           Wrapping a finger around one of his curls, Remus gave it a slight tug to calm his nerves and continued towards the castle, moving at a quicker pace than before but not trying to look as if he were running away. Once he was inside he felt as though he could breathe a little easier. He was still unsure why those girls had been laughing at him, but it wasn’t as if he were going to ask them about it. He decided the best course of action was just to ignore it.

           Remus had an essay due for History of Magic so he decided to skip lunch and go to the library to work on it. As much as he loved his friends, they could be pretty distracting even on their best days. Remus usually found himself doing his homework by wand-light after the other three had gone to bed.

           He decided to stop in the Great Hall just to grab something to eat quick before the library. He knew his friends would try to get him to stay but if he did that it would mean another sleepless night. With his friends’ non-stop japery and his prefects’ duties, Remus was having a bit of trouble keeping up with his studies.

           When he slipped into the Great Hall and the door shut behind him, it felt like every set of eyes in the room turned to look at him. After a moment, quite a few people turned away and continued their conversations. Others continued to look at Remus, their expressions either curious or baffled. Remus felt his stomach twist uncomfortably into knots. There was definitely something strange going on.

           He found his friends in their usual spot at the end of the Gryffindor table, close enough to the exit to make a fast getaway if a prank should go awry. It also meant being as far away from the Professors as possible and Minnie’s prying eyes. “Alright there, Moony?” James asked, smiling kindly at him. His smile wavered a little when he saw Remus looking a little sickly. “Herbology can’t have been that bad!”

           “Something weird is going on,” Remus told them, looking around the room. Most of the people who had been staring at him had lost interest but there were still a few watching him. “People are staring at me. You don’t think they know, do you?”

           Peter and James shared a glance and then both simultaneously looked at Sirius. That was never a good sign. “Know about what?” Peter asked, shoving a biscuit in his mouth as if to keep from answering.

           “About, you know…me,” Remus said, wringing his hands nervously.

           “I don’t think so, mate,” James answered as he cleared his throat and continued to look pointedly at Sirius. “What do you think, Pads?”

           Sirius shrugged nonchalantly. “Hard to tell.”

           James must have kicked him in the shin because Sirius let out a pained noise and grabbed at something under the table.

           “Well, I’m off to the library,” Remus told him. Sometimes his friends were absolutely bonkers. Whatever it was that was going on between them Remus wasn’t sure he wanted to know.

           “Remus, stay!” Sirius begged, pulling out his signature puppy dog eyes. “The library can wait.”

           Remus sighed and rubbed his forehead. “No Pads, it can’t,” he insisted. He grabbed an apple and sandwich, shoving the apple into his pocket and the sandwich into his mouth. He gave them a salute and headed out of the hall. He pretended not to see everyone watching him go.

                                                                       ***

           Spending time in the library was short lived. He started out at one table with his books spread out around him and his quill moving quickly over the parchment. He was a few lines into the essay when he heard some mumblings at the table next to him.

           “It can’t be true.”

           “I heard it from Mary McDonald who heard it from Sirius himself!”

           “No way!’

           “You know how close those four are.”

           “You don’t think they’re all – “

           “Don’t be stupid. James Potter is in love with Lily Evans. Everyone knows that.”

           “I can’t believe the best looking guy at Hogwarts is bent.”

           “I can kind of see it. Remus is cute.”

           “Not as hot a Sirius Black though.”

           Confused by their conversation and also a little unnerved by it, Remus packed up his stuff and moved to a quieter corner of the library, pretending the group of people he’d just heard talking about him and his friends weren’t watching his every move. He sat down and began to write again hoping that he hadn’t completely lost his train of thought. Something he’d overheard had been ringing in his head though.

           “I can’t believe the best looking guy at Hogwarts is bent.”

           Remus swallowed hard and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. He’d sort of had his suspicions about Sirius’ preferences. After all, Sirius Black was a shameless flirt and was as likely to chat up a guy as a girl. He would have chatted up Peeves if he thought it would be a laugh. Besides, the two of them had a strange appreciation for each other.

           Remus heard the chair across from him scrape against the floor and he put his hands down in time to see Fabian Prewett sitting down. “Wothcer Remus?”

           “Hi Fabian,” Remus said, feeling himself blush slightly. Fabian had been his first kiss the previous year. They’d very briefly dated, although you could barely call it that, while Fabian was going through his experimental stage. Remus understood completely when Fabian realized he preferred girls once Marlene Mckinnon showed an interest.

           “So is it true?”

           “You’ll have to be more specific,” Remus told him, frowning slightly. Everyone was being so cryptic and Remus was finding himself very much over it.

           “You and Black.”

           “What about Sirius and I?” Remus asked although he felt like he had an idea. His stomach flipped and suddenly some things he’d overhead made a lot more sense.

           “The whole school is talking about it,” Fabian said, smiling apologetically. “That you’re dating.”

           Remus was sure he was going to be sick. “Where do people come up with this stuff?” he asked, trying to laugh it off.

           “I don’t know,” Fabian said, shrugging. Remus had always found Fabian easy to talk to. Friendly and charming, Remus would have happily dated him for longer than a few weeks. “I could believe it. Sirius was always rude to me when you and I were…you know… and then once I started dating Marlene he was perfectly nice to me again.”

           “That doesn’t mean anything,” Remus said, tugging one of his curls self-consciously. “Sirius is…”

           “In love with you,” Fabian finished with a knowing grin. “But you know, don’t take my word for it. From what I’ve heard this whole rumor was started by Sirius himself.”

           “Is that so?” Remus asked through gritted teeth. He slammed his book shut and packed up his stuff. “Excuse me, Fabian. I have to go.”

           “Uh oh,” Fabian said, chuckling. “I think someone is in trouble.”

           “Yes he fucking is,” Remus growled, doing his best not to give everyone watching him the two finger salute as he stomped his way out of the library.

                                                           ***

           “Where is he?” Remus hissed at his friends before the portrait had closed behind him. James and Peter were sitting on one of the couches in the common room playing exploding snap. They glanced at each other and pointed towards the dormitory. Remus nodded without saying anything and walked up the steps to their rooms.

           He swung the door open with a bang and stood in the doorway, his breathing ragged as his hands curled into fists. Sirius glanced up at him and at least had the good sense to look sheepish. “Remus, I know what you’re going to say ���“

           “Oh do you?” Remus asked mockingly, crossing his arms over his chest.

           Sirius scrambled out of his bed and stood up, keeping a fair bit of distance between Remus and himself. “I shouldn’t have told people.”

           Remus laughed mirthlessly, feeling a big hysterical. “Padfoot, either I’m crazy or you are.”

           “I can explain –“

           “You’d better!” Remus snapped at him. “Because despite what the whole school now thinks, I don’t remember a conversation where you and I decided we were dating.”

           Sirius took a step closer to Remus until Remus fixed him with such a glare that he retracted it. “I-“ Sirius started again, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth.

           “I’m waiting…” Remus informed him, tapping his foot impatiently.

           “I love you!” Sirius blurted out, startling Remus into dropping his books.

           “What?”

           “I-I’ve been in love with you for ages!” Sirius told him, dragging his fingers through his long dark hair. “But I couldn’t figure out how to make you see it! And it doesn’t do to just go around snogging your best mate, does it? I mean what if you didn’t like it? I couldn’t ruin everything, Moony.”

           “Sirius, stop!” Remus said, interrupting him. “Stop talking.”

           Sirius clamped his mouth shut and whined as if he had more to say. Remus closed his eyes for a moment and tried to process. A lot of information had been thrown at him today. When he opened his eyes, Sirius was much closer than he had been. “Moony?”

           “I still don’t understand,” Remus said quietly. “You were just – what – testing the waters to see how I’d react to you starting a rumor about us dating?”

           “I – “ Sirius winced. “I didn’t mean for it to spread so much. I only told a couple of Gryffindors so that it would get back to you. It’s not my fault Mary McDonald has a big mouth.”

           Remus groaned and dragged his hand down his face. “Regardless, Pads, you don’t get to just…bully me into a relationship with you!”

           “Bully you?” Sirius echoed indignantly.

           “Yes!” Remus insisted. “This was a conversation you should have had with me, not Mary McDonald. Don’t you think you should have asked me what I wanted first? Or does that not matter to you?”

           “Of course it matters, Remus!” Sirius said, reaching for him desperately but Remus yanked his arm away.

           “You don’t get to just decide things for me!”

           “I know that!” Sirius growled in frustration. “What was I supposed to do? Tell you that I was absolutely gone on you? What if you didn’t feel the same way? What would I do then, Moony?”

           “You idiot!” Remus shouted, crowding into Sirius’ space. “Fucking kiss me.”

           Sirius didn’t have to be told twice. He closed the space between them and captured Remus’ lips in a bruising kiss. Remus laced his fingers through Sirius’ thick hair and tugged, making Sirius groan in appreciation. “Told the whole…bloody school…before me…” Remus grumbled between kisses, still angry, but not enough to stop kissing Sirius.

           “Love you, Moony,” Sirius whimpered between kisses as well. “Please don’t…be angry…with me.”

           Remus backed them up towards Sirius’ bed and shoved him down onto it before climbing on top of him. Their lips were only parted for a moment before they were back to snogging. They pawed and gripped at each other, wanting to hold each other but at the same time wanting to get each other’s clothes off. In the end they settled on just rutting against each other in need, too impatient to get undressed and unwilling to unlock their lips.

           When it was over they kissed languidly, the heat of the moment somewhat gone and both boys satisfied to take their time. They knew eventually they would have to get out of bed and clean up the mess, but for the moment they were content to just stay close to each other.

           “I really am sorry,” Sirius whispered, not wanting to break the intimacy of the moment. “Do you forgive me?”

           Remus sighed and pressed their foreheads together, staring into Sirius’ stormy grey eyes. “I guess,” he said, smiling softly. “But don’t you ever do anything like that again, okay?”

           “Okay.”

           “Promise?”

           “Yes Moony, I promise! Merlin’s beard!”

           Remus chuckled and settled in next to Sirius, resting his head on Sirius’ chest.

           “Moony?”

           “Yes Padfoot?”

           “Maybe Divination isn’t such bollocks after all,” Sirius told him thoughtfully.

           “Why do you say that?” Remus asked, flicking his eyes up to look at his…well…boyfriend he supposed was the most apt word.

           “Because I made my own prophecy come true,” Sirius said with a large grin, looking unbearably pleased with himself. “I told James you’d be mine before the end of the school year and I was right!”

           Remus responded by smacking Sirius in the face with a pillow if only to wipe the smug look off his boyfriend’s face.

           Sirius retaliated by kissing Moony deeply.

           Just because he could.

[brauthaalandfc]

Manchester City Player Ratings 2018/19

I got bored and decided to write a lil review of Manchester City players this season. Hope you enjoy and feel free to discuss.

Warning: may be biased

Ederson: 9/10  Keeping this one short and simple, just like Eddie’s passes from the back. What more do you want from a keeper? He can give you assists, great saves, and is willing to run half way up the pitch to defend his teammates. Took one point off him because he didn’t score. Maybe next season. 

Kyle Walker: 7.5/10 The English idiot definitely got tired around christmas time with a few dodgy games which I guess is understandable given the fact the he hadn’t really stopped playing for over a year with the World Cup and so on and he might have been the England crackhead but overall I think Kyle did well. Especially during the last few games, I thought that he played really well. I think it was Crystal Palace away that he probably had one of his best games. I hope he rests well over summer and can continue that form next season. 

Danilo: 7/10 When Kyle was too busy snorting coke (just kidding, don’t kill me), Danilo played really well in his place. Although he isn’t as quick or as direct as Kyle, he provided a composure and control that sometimes Kyle lacks. He didn’t really make any big mistakes when playing, and I would have given him a higher score if he played a little more. There has been rumours of him leaving and I hope these are not true because he is a pretty solid back up at right back and is Bernardo’s favourite person to annoy.

Oleksandr Zinchenko: 8/10 Am I crazy giving him a higher rating than Kyle? Probably. But I love to spread appreciation for my unproblematic little blonde ukrainian! Last summer he was linked heavily to Wolves- it looked highly probable that that was were he was going to end up this season. However, he decided to stay and fight for his place at Manchester City and I am so bloody glad that he did! When Ben got injured and Delph was...you know... being Delph, Zinnie stepped up and performed at left back (not his natural position!!) and played at a higher standard than any of us would have thought! I really admire his determination and confidence in himself to stay and fight to get into the first team. You can tell he works hard always and really loves and appreciates all his teammates. I have loved watching the little shy KDB lookalike grow and blossom into a more confident young man. Hopefully there is much more to come from this bundle of joy. We could all learn from Oleksandr Zinchenko!

Fabian Delph: 3/10 I might be a bit harsh here but literally, when did he forget the basics of football? Man preached it in All or Nothing but couldn’t practice it irl. Deplhy was a breakthrough last season and played well when Mendy got injured (yes, again). But this season... I don’t know what he was up to. Most games he played, we lost. I honestly have no clue what made him snap like that vs Leicester but bitch... calm down!! Is it harsh to say I don’t think he played well once this season? Well, I am saying it. Don’t get me wrong, I will be sad if he leaves this summer. He most definitely has passion, and whilst sometimes that leads to him perhaps being too emotional on the pitch, I appreciate it and is a popular character in the dressing room that will be missed. He has given a lot for the club in recent years but I’m afraid I see no future for him here. No more Delph every weekend :( 

Benjamin Mendy: 5/10 I have a soft spot for Mendy, can you tell? You’re probably thinking 5 is too high but I will tell you why. He played 10 games this season and got 5 assists during that time. That’s an assist every second game (if I have done my maths right). In the early stages of the season, there was no doubt that he was one of our most effective players. I was at the home game vs Huddersfield in August and I thought he played so well that game, bombing up the wing every time. He got an assist too, if I remember correctly? His crosses are insane and watching him live was a (rare) blessing! This makes it hurt even more knowing he got injured. It is obvious that Ben has so much potential and has bags of talent however, injuries seem to haunt him. Along with his occasion lax judgement and lack of concentration, he finds himself in difficult situations. It breaks my heart of the stories leaking from the training ground of him breaking down in tears. I cannot be easy for a young footballer to go through so many injuries when they are at a club that is constantly winning and breaking records, where you can watch your teammates win things and have fun with each other whilst you are stuck inside with your leg in a cast. My heart breaks for him and I hope that next season, these injuries no longer take over him and he can have a season to finally show why he is one of the best left backs in the world.

Aymeric Laporte: 9/10 There has been a lot of hype around Van Dijk this season (and rightly so) however, Aymeric hasn’t received as much attention and I think that is slightly unfair. Laporte, in my opinion, is not that far behind Van Dijk and is nowhere near his peak quite yet. I think that Aymeric has been one of our best and most important players this season. He is always reliable in defence and has probably been our first choice CB this season. Not to mention, he scored that header against Brighton that put us back in front and on the way to the title. I believe that Aymeric is an amazingly talented CB that will only improve over these next few seasons, and who knows, he might one day become the best CB in the league. 

Nicolas Otamendi: 6.5/10 Nico was so so good for us last year and offers us more physicality at CB in comparison to Stones and Laporte, however he hasn’t really stood out this season. Despite this, I don’t think he has done much wrong? He has been largely reliable when called upon to help out the team and I really can’t fault him for that. Like Danilo, he was been linked with a move elsewhere but I hope that he doesn’t move. Like I said, he is more physical than Stones and Laporte and sometimes I feel like we need that, and with Vinnie leaving I don’t think it is wise to let another CB go when I don’t feel academy players like Garcia are ready for that jump up yet. Oh and he has a good beard so I bumped him up from an initial 6. 

John Stones: 7.5/10 It has been a bit of a weird season for Stonsey, hasn’t it? At the beginning of the season, he was playing loads and was dead good. However, after THAT moment vs Liverpool he seemed to fade away a little and it looked like Pep prefered to play Vinnie and Laporte over him nearing the end of the season when it was tense. He still played a little though. sometimes coming on to play as a defensive midfielder kind of position and didn’t really make any mistakes there which I guess shows him maturing as an all round player and reveals just how much Pep trusts him and sees potential in him. I expect him to play a lot more next season and continue to grow as a central... sorry centre back.

Vincent Kompany: 8/10 I was considering giving him a 10/10 just for that goal vs Leicester but I am keeping that score for someone else ;) What can I say about this man that hasn’t already been said? He is a Manchester City and Premier League legend. He captained this team to a domestic treble, an achievement never done in Men’s English football. Pep trusted him at the most important part of the season and it turned out to be the correct decision with that thunderbolt against Leicester (honestly, I cried). His season was kinda the opposite to Stonsey’s, he didn’t play much in the beginning of the season but played a lot in the second half. I’m so glad he got a run of games without injuries and got to play a pivotal role in the season’s outcome. He went out on a high and I wish him all the best in his new role at Anderlecht, as long as he comes back sometime soon. Captain. Leader. Legend.

Fernandinho: 8.5/10 I think it says a lot about the importance of Fernandinho to this Manchester City team that when we lost two games back to back in December, Fernandinho was missing. He is crucial to the way in which we play, and he plays his role so effectively and in a composed and sophisticated manner. He is like the unsung hero of the team. So why didn’t I give him a 9 or a 10? Whilst he has been reliable for large parts of the season, sometimes I feel like the game gets to him a little. The best example of that was vs Newcastle where he gave away the penalty that could have cost us the league. Luckily it didn’t but usually he does not make them mistakes but sometimes when we are under pressure, he can let out his frustrations. Regardless of that, I think he has done an immense job yet again this season. Despite getting a few injuries and frustration clouding his better judgement, he is still one of our best players. 

Ilkay Gundogan: 8.5/10 I was soooo gutted when we signed him in 2016 and he then proceeded to have that season ended prematurely due to injuries because I was so excited to see him play for Manchester City. However, I feel like we got to see the best of Ilkay Gundogan this season. Whilst sometimes I scream at him for continuously passing backwards some games, his reading and intelligence of the game is probably one of the best in the squad. When Dinho picked up a few injuries near the end of the season, I thought that was our title dreams over, however Ilkay decided to prove me wrong and deliver amazing performances when we needed him most. Sometimes City fans on Twitter give him stick but I genuinely believe that he is a massive talent for us and is fully capable of playing that Dinho role if we need him to.

David Silva: 7/10 There is a case to be made that David Silva is best ever player to put on a City shirt however, this season wasn’t his best. He started off well, and that free kick against Huddersfield was amazing! But gradually, he became slower and less like the el mago that we all know and love to watch. He would give the ball away cheaply and occasionally pick the wrong pass or just slow down play altogether. Even I was getting a little bit tired of Pep playing him ahead of a faster and more direct Leroy Sane. But at the Manchester Derby at Old Trafford, he did what David Silva usually does, and made the game his own. He was so so good that night and helped to keep the calm and control that game, even when we were looking a little bit shaky. Despite this, he did look tired most of the season. I really hope that was just Pep overplaying him because of Kev’s injury and that he isn’t losing his legs because I’m not ready to let go of him yet.

Phil Foden: 7/10 Now, me saying that Phil and David were both 7′s this season, does not mean that I think that they were at the same level this season. Of course, David played at a higher level than Phil. It just means that Phil’s standards are understandably lower than David’s. However, Phil did amazingly this season despite his situation. He is in a team, competing for a place with players like David Silva, Ilkay Gundogan, Kevin De Bruyne and Bernardo Silva. So I think we were all surprised when the team news came out for the Spurs game and he was there. No, not on the bench but in the starting eleven. An eighteen year old boyhood fan starting a game for Manchester City! Against a top 4 team! In a tight title race! Not only that but he scored and played maturely for his age. I am incredibly proud of my lil baby Phil (even though he has a baby now). He started and played in more games than I would have anticipated. All of his time spent patiently waiting for his chance and training alongside his hero, has paid off! I hope he will get even more game time next season, showing us all why he has the nickname Stockport Iniesta!

Kevin De Bruyne: 7.5/10 This is a difficult one. Kevin has had a difficult season. It seemed that whenever he would finally hit form, he would get injured again. I cannot imagine how difficult that would have been for him. It was saddening as a fan who loves to watch him play that we never really got to see the best of Kevin De Bruyne, We saw glinces of it in the FA Cup final but it was a little too late. There is no doubt that Kevin is a world class player, but unfortunately we haven’t been able to witness that this season. Despite this, when he did play he definitely had an impact. We are a better team with Kevin De Bruyne in it. No arguments about that. I hope next season he is back to his normal self, assisting and scoring when we need him most.

Bernardo Silva: 10/10 Ah, here we go. Brace yourselves, this could be a long one. I LOVE BERNARDO SILVA. In my opinion, he has been the best player in the Premier League this season AND should be in top 3 for Ballon d’Or. Am I being incredibly biased and over reactionary? Probably, yes. But am I wrong? No. Bernardo Silva has everything. He runs 12-14km a game. He never stops. He can dribble like Messi. Yes, like Messi. He dribbles like Messi. He can cross balls into the box. He can run halfway across the pitch just to tackle someone off the ball. He took on Virgil Van Dijk. 5′6 Bernardo Silva decided to get in a battle with 6′3 Virgil Van Dijk. Can we just take a moment to appreciate him in that game against Liverpool? He ran and ran and ran until he covered every single inch of the pitch that night. He wanted to win more than anyone and it showed. And let’s talk about his passion.  He celebrates every Manchester City goal like a madman, running across to the goalscorer and pulling the craziest of faces. And his goal celebration at Old Trafford? ICONIC. He did a knee-slide at Old Trafford in front of the City fans. Twenty years ago, and he would be considered a City legend for that alone. But he is on his way to becoming one of Manchester City’s all time best. I mean, his chant is already one of the best! I cannot fault any part of his season. Maybe he could have scored and assisted more? Meh I don’t care, his work rate earns him something more than just goals: the fans hearts. He has the potential to become one of the best in the world and I am so glad he is at Manchester City and has committed his future to us. 

Raheem Sterling: 9/10 Raheem has matured so much this season. Not just on the pitch, but off the pitch too. He has become a great influence and inspiration for those who have to suffer through racial discrimination and horrid racist attitudes. Whilst he has always been this person, it has taken the media this long to recognise this and praise him for it. I am happy that finally he is getting the positive recognition that he deserves. And he has deserved it this season. Each season he seems to grow more and more confident in himself, scoring and assisting more often. I can only see him growing from here and becoming even better. Only thing that is missing is his goal at Anfield, winning our first game there since 2003 ;)

Riyad Mahrez: 6.5/10 I think that it was always going to be difficult for Riyad this season. Our wingers: Raz, Leroy and Bernardo are all well suited to Pep’s style and the players around them. He needed time to adapt and learn. Overall, I feel like he dealt with it quite well. Yes, he missed that penalty at Anfield but he won us points at games where we were struggling slightly like Bournemouth. He did end up missing a lot of game time due to just how good Raz and Bernardo have been this season, he couldn’t really get a look into the team. And how many other players would to be honest? Although, I do feel he could have done better for a first season in a team like this, he has coped well and integrated into the team nicely. Hopefully he can have a breakthrough like Bernardo next season!

Leroy Sane: 6.5/10 I feel like Leroy would get a far greater rating if Pep played him a little bit more but I guess Pep had his reasons and that is understandable. Leroy, for me, is one of the best young players in the world. He has so much talent and potential. He offers something different from the other wingers in the team and can cause defences to have nightmares. And on top of that, this season we discovered that he is dangerous from free kicks too. But as I said, Pep didn’t play him as much as he could have. I guess Pep and Sane have their own problems and I hope it can be solved because Leroy is one to keep here at City. He has a huge future ahead of him and I would be massively disappointed if we lost him. 

Gabriel Jesus: 6/10 Gabi is the the same kind of situation as Riyad and Leroy. I think he has so much potential at this club however, his game time is limited due to the fact that he has to compete with Sergio Aguero, possibly one of the best strikers to play in the Premier League. It is a massive ask for Gabriel at his age. However, I think he has shown enough this season and seasons prior that he is a talented player who fits in this team perfectly. His workrate is perfect and I can see him becoming an important player for us in the future.

Sergio Aguero: 9.5/10 If you ever need a goal, Sergio is the player to go to. This man got back to back Premier League hat tricks against Arsenal and Chelsea IN THE SAME WEEK. Unfortunately, he just missed out on the Golden Boot, however he scored incredibly important goals for us this season. The goal vs Burnley, the one vs Liverpool and the one vs Brighton are just three examples. He is always there when we need him. And that is why I put him as the second highest rated. (sorry Raz I still love you xx)

[proselys]

Philippe’s Characterisation in Season 3 (MAJOR SPOILERS)

I don’t have time to do this episode by episode so here is an overview (a long one) of Philippe’s characterisation in Season 3. It’s from what I remember so I’m probably missing a few things and bits wont be in order. Also, spoilers, obviously. 

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As I think back to when Philippe arrived back at Versailles, it’s almost certain that his PTSD was affecting him, but in ways we haven’t seen before. In Season 1, Philippe acted out. He took it out on others, yet this time it is a lot more internal and it’s himself that he’s punishing for it - which is such a reoccurring theme in his life.

 He gets back, realises how different Versailles is. How different and grown up the Chevalier and Liselotte is and how he doesn’t quite fit into the picture anymore. In his mind, they don’t need him. They’ve done well without him for so many months and he doesn’t know how to cope with that. Philippe’s used to being the one that the Chevalier hung on too. He relied on that because he didn’t have anyone else. Even in Season 2, Liselotte depended on him because she was his new wife. She was in a foreign country. She needed him. But now Liselotte and the Chevalier are best friends (my favourite thing ever) and he feels alone.

 So, he pushes them away because he doesn’t want to intrude on their lives. But it’s not only that. I think Philippe knew that this time coming back from war was worse than the last. I think he knew how much it was affecting him and how depressed it was making him, and he didn’t want the Chevalier to put up with that. So, he breaks up with him because he knows he deserved better. Should he have done that? No. But let’s also remember that they hadn’t been properly okay since the beginning of Season 2. Yes, things started to get better for them at the end of that season but only for a moment before Philippe went to war.

 ‘‘But there are things I must do before I can love you again.’ ‘

 Philippe needed to find himself before he could give that person to the Chevalier, but he only ended up losing himself more. Philippe never stopped loving him, I don’t think he ever could, but he wasn’t in the right state of mind to love him and I think he was trying to save them both in his own stupid way from his own actions. That and he didn’t think the Chevalier needed him anymore, which is also stupid because Chev will always need him. It just so happens that he grew up as well, became more confident, learnt not to lean on Philippe for everything and both of them are not in the same place.

 As the season progresses, one thing I noticed was that Philippe never once got angry about the Chevalier and Delphine. Yes, there was a bit of snarkiness when he saw their flirting, but I don’t think it was meant to be hurtful. This could be for a few reasons; Philippe was mindful of how he and Thomas had made the Chevalier feel and so it would be hypocritical to be bad at it. Philippe wants him to be happy and if this woman made him happy then that was okay with him. I don’t think through most of the season that he actually realised they were in love. I think he thought of it as a fling and that it would end at some point.

 This is totally apparent in the scene where they’re sitting on the bed together (one of my favourites). Chevy is talking, and Philippe goes ‘’are you really in love with that women?’’ I don’t think he fully grasped it. But he still didn’t argue or fight with him about it. He gave him advise on how to win her over which is something Philippe would have never have done before. He’s certainly matured and it’s beautiful to see in moments like this, even if the circumstances aren’t the best. But continuing with that scene, when he’s talking about love, again he’s never stopped loving the Chevalier, their love has just changed and grew and it’s something they must find again. Philippe needs to let go of the past desperately, but he’s stuck in a limbo between the past and the future. He doesn’t know what the future holds, and it scares him so he’s trying to cling onto the past, but what he once had has moved on without him. But I mean, come on, the way they look and act around each other, those two will be in love forever.

 Anyway, back to the Chevalier and Delphine, I truly don’t think Philippe understood the depth of their love until the last episode when he got Chevy released from prison. At this point he was starting to realise how much he needed him back, after his talk with Liselotte but I don’t think he expected the rejection he got. The thing I like about Season 3 is that there’s so many parallels to Season 1. This is obviously a parallel to when Chevy got out of prison the first time. How Philippe was the one who rejected him at first. But I think this is the scene where Philippe finally understands how much the Chevalier loves Delphine. That he’s got to stop thinking about himself and realise that the only way to get into Chev’s good books again is to free Delphine. I don’t think he was doing it just to get Chevy again. I think he did it because he truly cares about the other man and the realisation of what a shitty thing his brother is doing has come to light. Philippe has always been for the people, it’s clear with how many times he goes into Paris, how he’s willing to negotiate nicely with them. How his friendship (and obvious crush) with Guilliame bloomed. By doing this it shows everyone that he’s on their side, that he cares. He has been the underdog for so much of his life that he knows he must use the power he has to look after all the other underdogs.

 Now, onto perhaps the most important bit. Philippe and his obsession to find out who the man in the iron mask is. Obviously massive SPOILERS regarding the main plot of the show. Anyway. Philippe starts this obsession because he’s lost. He doesn’t have his family to really rely on anymore because he’s pushed them away. His PTSD and ultimately depression isn’t making it any better. So, he needs something to focus on, to give all his time too so he doesn’t sink any further. He doesn’t feel like he belongs, and honestly, I don’t think he’s really feeling anything to begin with and this is the only think that makes him alive.

 Philippe knows he’s good at war, but he doesn’t know that about anything else. The only person with worst esteem issues than him is the Chevalier, and even his have gotten better. He wants to be good at something, to prove to everyone and himself that he can do something, and this is what he focuses on. So, he obsesses, and he works, and he focuses on this because the outside world is a scary place. But it doesn’t do him any good. If anything, it’s making him feel worse. I don’t think it helps that he knows that Bontemps is keeping valuable information from him. That’s the one thing I feel that Philippe has always hated; people keeping things from him and lying to him. He has major trust issues anyway thanks to Louis and others, so to have something he respects and has been there through most of his life is something that Philippe doesn’t like. I think therefore he enlists Fabian’s help because he knows Fabian is trustworthy and wouldn’t lie to him about important matters. That and he thinks Louis is in on this little secret. Philippe has issues, bless him.  

 Then he finds out about their potential half-brother and he realises things are getting serious. Not only could this jeopardise his future but also Louis’, and despite their continued brother rivalry, Philippe is forever loyal to him. He knows he must protect his brother’s legacy as much as he can, and it scares him. He’s scared at the thought that the Vatican is has a way to try and overthrow his brother. And this only goes downhill when they find out it’s their father. But for Philippe there is a glimmer of hope. He was two when Louis XIII died and never had a father figure to look up to, say for Louis. Louis, although only four at the time had Mazarin who saw him as a son. Philippe never had that and so to finally have a father is something that gives him joy. It’s what he’s always wanted.

 But of course, that only ends in tragedy too. Philippe wanted his father to live the rest of his life out in peace, but Louis has other ideas. He knows deep down it’s the right thing to do, but Philippe’s always tried to find alternatives to a tough situation. And this is where he starts to spiral. Until now he’s been suppressing the revelation that he’s not who he thought he would be his whole life, but after they kill their father he starts to worry about who he really is. Is he simply a murderer? Is he nothing? Is he just the prince who everyone sees in their eyes; who drinks and parties and doesn’t care about a single thing? Both brothers are having extreme existential moments, but Philippe reverts to the only method of coping he knows. Self-destruction.

 It might not be obvious, but Philippe has always been a very self-destructive person. He’s had to be to make sure the light never shined away from his brother. But now he has no one. Even Louis seemed ready to be rid of him (though I think Louis was having his own ‘’ahh help who am I’’ moments so I can let him off a bit) and so Philippe turns back to drinking, parties and wasting away. Philippe feels more lost than ever and he simply can’t hold it in anymore. The scene after the party where he’s sitting on the bed and Liselotte and the Chevalier are looking like disapproving parents is also one of my favourites. Philippe is desperate, on the edge. He’s spiralling, and he doesn’t know how to stop it. And they’re trying to help him, but he can’t reach them. He’s too far in his head. He just breaks down because there’s nothing else he can do. He can’t tell them what’s made him like this because he’s scared they’ll judge him, push him away as he’s pushed them away. That they’ll truly abandon him, and he’ll have no one ever again. He’s blaming it all on himself and you can tell that all he wants right now is the Chevalier to hold him, but he knows he doesn’t deserve that. That small glimmer of hope in his eyes when Chevy lifts his head up to look at him, silently telling him he needs him but they both know that can’t happen. The Chevalier doesn’t was to let those walls down just to be pushed away and hurt again and Philippe can’t let himself hurt him again.

 That’s why he goes to Saint Cloud, because he feels he’s lost everyone and that he’s nothing. If he disappears then maybe it will make everything right again. Philippe’s stuck in the past, has always been stuck in the past because it consumes him and eats him alive and he doesn’t know how to get out of it. Instead of going forwards he feels like he’s going backwards. All these old feelings have resurfaced, and I don’t think anyone had a lower opinion of Philippe than himself.

 Liselotte comes to save the day, as she always does. The way she speaks to him, tells him that they need him. That he needs to go back and be with his family truly saves him. That’s all he’s wanted, to feel like he belongs and that they want and need him. He might never feel like Versailles is home, but he has his little family to help with that. That’s all Philippe has ever wanted. To feel like be belongs somewhere and that he has a purpose in life, and he does. In the middle of Chevy and Liselotte.

 Philippe and Louis have always had a tumultuous relationship, it was how they were brought up but in Season 3 you see a real bond between them form, especially in the later episodes (besides their arguing, but that’s just normal for them). Liselotte is right in saying that Philippe is the only one that Louis will listen too, even if he does it in his own way and Philippe certainly takes that on his own shoulders to try and put into place. This season he’s felt more comfortable challenging Louis because Louis sees him more as his equal than he has ever done. He’s showing it more as well and that gives Philippe the confidence to tell him what is right and what is wrong. And Louis, somewhat listens to him and that gives him more courage to go further. He saves Delphine for the Chevalier, tries to get Louis to stop imprisoning the protestants and warns him of what will happen if he carries on like this. As it’s said in history, Philippe was the more devoted prince because no once has he ever tried to overthrow Louis, has only tried to aid him and teach him on where he’s going wrong. He certainly doesn’t agree with him all the time or even most of the time, but he has his back always. They were brought up as brothers first and foremost and that is what they will always be.

 When he saves Louis’ life, I feel he starts to begin to find himself again. He starts to realise who he is, and no one can take that away from him. He is Louis’ brother, his equal, his best friend. He is wife to Liselotte and lover to the Chevalier. He has his own little family that he loves and adores (I’m ignoring how they portrayed Philippe with his children because that’s wrong) and he can make a difference if he puts his mind to it. It might take him a while to catch up with everyone else but it’s the beginning of him finally feeling like he belongs. For so many years he’s been after Louis’ validation and love and now he finally has it and it gives him some sort of peace.

 Of course, I must leave this scene to last. It is after all the last MonChevy (MonCheLotte) scene we have. From the Chevalier saying goodbye to Delphine and how that left off to this scene there has been a dramatic jump. I wish there was another episode to fill in for what we’ve missed. But that’s the thing with Versailles, unless they state the time you don’t know how much has passed. I like to think a few days has at least, so it’s given Philippe and Chevy time to talk through things, talk through their feelings. Anyway…

 The fact that they both admit they’re scared is a big tell in how far they’ve come. They’re able to talk about how they feel with actual words and not shouting and fists. Philippe’s face when Chevy tells him he loves him gives is one of the purest things in the world. They’ve been in a relationship for over ten years at this point and he finally gets to hear it. It’s the validation they both need, to hear the other say it to quench their fears and concrete their love for one another. We all know they love each other, they know they love the other, it’s simply that reassurance they need to know the other loves them. Philippe starts to feel complete. He has the Chevalier, and he has Liselotte. Philippe loves them both, albeit in different ways but he does. He and the Chevalier are both her boys and he’s okay with that. After everything, Philippe is okay.

 So, to wrap it up in a neat little box, Philippe has gone through an emotional rollercoaster this season. From feeling lost, like he doesn’t belong and alone, battling with his mental health and trying to prove he’s good enough for anyone. Philippe might still be selfish and childish, and he might have done things he shouldn’t have, but there’s no denying that he’s matured and grown up and starts to realise that he does have a place in this world. He is worth something. He is no longer the cloud in front of the sun.

[conundrum-rp-blog]

Under the cut you can check out all the players that have been accepted for their roles. Congratulations!  Please take a look at the instructions at the bottom of the page. For those who haven’t been accepted this time around, don’t be discouraged! Send me a message if you want more feedback on your application and I would love for you to re-apply in the future! Congratulations again to all of you and Welcome to CONUNDRUM! 

✦ Rae, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Emmeline Vance. “Emmeline feels guilty about not being able to fully be there and support those who she feels need her, especially since she needs to be there for her friends and family more than ever nowadays. She’s used to being the emotional rock, dealing with other people’s baggage & helping them sort it. With her own optimism draining as life drags on, she feels guilty for not having enough energy to deal with the problems of others, & she’s slowly running out of ways to help.” I can’t wait to see how this turns out. The dichotomy between the old Emmeline and the new one is one of my favourite things in your application. Great job!

✦ Roman, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Corban Yaxley. “Everyone knows they’re someone to be feared, even if they haven’t seen it first hand, but those who have seen it know better than to cross them. Their anger is something hidden behind smiles as sharp as knives, something sinister lurking beneath. They like their violence to be dramatic but quiet, something that can rarely be tied to them directly, more likely to take out an enemy behind closed doors when violence is involved. There are whispers of the things they’ve done that swirl around constantly, and yet no one seems keen to suss out if they’re true or not, and no one wants to risk getting on their bad side by poking their nose somewhere it doesn’t belong.” Dramatic but quiet is a perfect way to describe what Corban does; and it’s a recurrent theme all throughout your application. I honestly can’t wait to see how they fit into this universe!

✦ Shannon, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Fenrir Greyback. “It was not the allure of blood purity that drew Fenrir to the Death Eaters’ ranks, but instead a promise of freedom. Years of living life in hiding as a second class citizen has turned him cold and ruthless, willing to do anything if it meant bettering the station of not only himself but the rest of his pack. Pureblood, mudblood, halfblood, none of that shit every mattered to him- a human was a human no matter who fucks who. The only reason why he’s willing to act as the Death Eaters’ glorified attack dog is because their deal is currently the best on the table. Now, should someone change that then he may find his loyalties changing as well.” I love to see the difference between the other Death Eaters and Fenrir. The fact that you really put the focus on Fenrir’s objectives was amazing, and I can’t wait to see him interacting with everyone else! Your Face Claim change to Jon Bernthal has been approved.

✦ Dean, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Thorfinn Rowle. “Thorfinn returned back to normal within a few months. His self righteous and cocky demeanour flew back and it was almost as if he’d never been sent away. Though he had a streak of vengeance, furious that he had to endure such a tormenting event in the first place. With a temper like his and his place in society slowly turning back to normal, it wasn’t long before the Ministry issued a whole apology to the families involved in the imprisonment. But it didn’t leave it trials, the media, with Thor’s career as a Quidditch star, would pick up on any little detail of Thor’s activities. He had to be a lot more careful, which was unusual for the man since he was never really used to being on his best behaviour.” I really liked this headcanon in particular because I can’t wait to see it develop! Thor has been so sheltered his whole life that it will be amazing to read how imprisonment changed him. Amazing job! 

✦ Lucy, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Daisy Hookum. “In the light of her friends’ losses, Daisy has given up her magic. She might not have pulled herself entirely from the wizarding world yet but it felt like a safe first step. She hasn’t made a declaration of it, not until she’s sure she can handle it. It was another form of protest, as well. The entire war, every terrible, horrible thing she’d had to read and hear about, was caused by one thing – magic. Tucking away her wand and putting it out of her mind felt like a silent war that she had taken up with the entire world and it felt powerful, in its own ways.” Amazing! Such an original twist to the skeleton! I’m so eager to see how this plays out!   

✦ Becky, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Narcissa Malfoy. “Let it be known that Narcissa Black begins her life as a soft, gentle creature. This is a reminder that ice takes time to form. That children are neither good nor bad, but something in between that teeters on the edge of being both. With shielded smiles and knowing eyes, it is her family who encourage her into the darkness. Her bloodline are named after stars; they shine through the gloom and know how to cope with it, but she is a flower plunged into a world where she should not thrive. Should not grow. It is for this reason that she fights harder to stay alive. It is for this reason that her life is theirs to mould and shape.” I chose this headcanon in particular because it shows Narcissa’s struggle so clearly; and the push and pull between rigid ice and softness is definitely going to reach top levels in this universe. I sincerely can’t wait to see how it evolves! Your Face Claim change to Emma Rigby has been approved.

✦ Emily, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Alice Longbottom. “The road back from hell is not one easily navigated by an Angel. Her halo is dented, its shine dulled. Her wings quiver at the base of her spine, unable to soar. The Lestranges were her demons, clawing at her skin as they sought to silence her voice - afraid of its contents. But even fallen angels can learn how to fly again. The art of being broken, Alice has learnt, is a matter of opinion. To the naked eye, she appeared shattered beyond repair - a mere shell of who she once was. They were mourning her before she had begun irreversible decay. But Alice knew better. She knew that pieces could be knitted back together. She knew that just because something was chipped, it didn’t mean you should throw it away. It took patience, but she navigated her course back to the light.” This was such a gorgeous way of portraying Alice’s struggles! I love how much detailed you put in every single section of your application and I can’t wait to see how Alice fits in this universe! Your Face Claim change to Laura Harrier has been approved.

✦ Nic, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Gideon Prewett. “They think that war to him is just another game and that his brother and all of his restraint was the one keeping him in check — but when it was his brother that was lying in the mud there was no rampage or explosion or mad dog released from his leash, only unnerving stillness as he waited faithfully by Fabian’s bedside until he woke. Beneath the joke for every occasion, Gideon has always been a man of his convictions and in that moment Gideon experienced a fundamental change inside of him.” The moment I read this part of the application I was hooked. I can’t wait to see that change in Gideon and how he navigates through it. Great job! Your Face Claim change to Richard Madden has been approved. 

✦ Nikki, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Andromeda Tonks. “Andromeda can’t say that she was always the rebellious child. She wasn’t. In fact for most of her life she was obedient, the perfect daughter. Never had she spoken up, debated, or acted in any way unbecoming of the Black name. For her, it was easier to behave and focus on her love for her sisters and family. It was easier to think that if she kept her head down nothing would affect her. That was probably why her being with Ted came as such a surprise, it was her first true act of rebellion and her greatest betrayal. Andromeda never regretted it.” I really liked this part of the application because it’s a nice twist to the usual interpretation of Andromeda. We don’t really know about her history that much, so it’s quite curious to think she was much like her sisters once and then changed to the point of leaving her family. Great job!

✦ Dana, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Dorcas Meadowes. “After Voldemort’s downfall, Dorcas considered for a time stepping away from the wizarding world and venturing into the muggle world instead. As a baker, it would have been easy to integrate herself into the muggle community, open another shop and begin a new life without the threat of those in the magical community hanging over her head in such a way again. As relative peace fell over the community for some time, Dorcas remained where she was, however, as recent events have transpired, it has come back into her mind once more of stepping away and wondering if she should have done so before it was too late.” I chose this headcanon to comment on because I thought it was very original and unique, and I wonder how these thoughts will develop once Dorcas gets more and more involved in the war. I can’t wait to see what happens! Your Face Claim change to Summer Bishil has been approved.

✦ Ryan, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Amycus Carrow. “There are no nightmares, there is no regret, there is no afterthought. Amycus doesn’t fall asleep every night tossing and turning over the lives he took, he doesn’t think back and feel any type of regret over what he did. He slaughtered people, he sliced them up, he butchered them, he tortured them to the point where he had them begging for death and he enjoyed every single minute of it. Killing people doesn’t bother him, hurting people doesn’t bother him, being a monster is second nature to him. Amycus isn’t a man with redeemable qualities. He’s a bastard that takes delight in being a bastard. Every terrible, sadistic, and monstrous thing he’s done or will do is because he enjoys it and because he is not a man that gives a damn about the people he destroys in his wake.” Why did I choose this part, you might wonder? Basically because I always have a soft spot for a good old villain, who’s evil just for the sake of being evil; and I thought that was a very brave choice to make when it comes to your interpretation of Amycus. I’m eager to see him in action! Your Face Claim change to Michael Trevino has been approved. 

✦ Ash, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Evan Rosier. “She joins the likes of her cousins, seating herself at Narcissa’s side in the common room, wearing identical unimpressed expressions, rings of gold and silver weighing down their fingers. She looks across and draped along the leather couches are Mulciber, Rowle and the Carrows. It feels more like a reunion than anything else. Faces she’d seen and known from galas and dinner parties since she was a child are all her housemates now.Diamond tipped hair-pins hold her curls in place, the edges sharpened a point. It’s too often she contemplates ripping them out and driving them into the eyes of those around her. But that is part of her mask, too – she must continue to squash her volatile nature down, she must blend in seamlessly. She must charm and enchant, distract, conceal and evade. Evan must hide in plain sight – and she’s become good at it.” I adored this quote because I feel you portrayed Evan’s mask perfect and how she successfully hides her violent nature in order to fit in. Spot on! Excellent job! Your Face Claim change to Jasmine Sanders has been approved. 

✦ Maggie, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Frank Longbottom. “He’s not here for glory, not here to be remembered or create his name for history. He wants to be a hand, do what he can. The Order and the war did have a part in his decision to try and be an Auror, even as it’s was so far doubted he wouldn’t make it through training. His brothers believing that he would grow sick at the sight of what he was meant to run into, classmates believing he may not be smart enough. And his amount of personal training, the amount of hours he spent studying through the hours of the night were never to prove them wrong or the idea that he was afraid of failure, it’s just how he works. Giving everything. And there was a war going to begin, so he gave everything. In canon, he was a “well-respected auror,” and did make a name for himself, but not for being the top of his class, but for honest hard work and care.” I mainly chose this quote because the idea of a hero with a tender heart - as you described earlier in your app - is extremely original, and it’s something I absolutely relate to Frank. I loved that approach, and I can’t wait to see him in action!

✦ Nell, you’ve been accepted to play the role of Marlene McKinnon. “Known by the big backyard where children would fly around and play all seasons, Quidditch has always been a big tradition in the family, making many of the family members pursue careers in that field. Warm tones, wooden details and a clean cut design decorate each and every room of the house, old cottage vibes coming from a place that has seen generations of families pass by. Marlene and her siblings lived there with their parents, Richard and Deidre, and their dog Dalek— named after Liam’s favorite show and probably one of the few muggle things Marlene sort of understands. She’d never had any plans of leaving, until the murder happened. When death eaters attacked their home that night of july of 1981, marlene fought her hardest to save everyone. “remember what moody trained you for, what the order taught you.” it wasn’t until she heard her sister scream as the body of their mother fell in front of her that she realized she couldn’t win.” I swear this was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make in all my history as a roleplay admin. What I loved about your app (and the reason I chose that quote) is how much detail and originality you poured into Marlene’s history, her family life and how she felt when the worst happened. Amazing job! Your Face Claim change to Phoebe Tonkin has been approved.

Again; congratulations to all of you and thank you for showing an interest in this group! Now that you’re here, this is what you need to do next:

Follow EVERYONE

Track all of the tags (found HERE)

Make your character account send it in within 24 hours

Open up your askbox

If for any reason you need more time to get your account in, don’t hesitate to message me so I can keep your role open! If I don’t get a message from you then I will assume you’re no longer interested in keeping your spot. Once you send your account, you’ll be provided with the necessary links and we can get started! And of course; HAVE FUN!

[goldenprewett-blog]

full application

IC INFORMATION:

CHARACTER’S FULL NAME : Gideon Albern Prewett

CHARACTER’S AGE / BIRTHDAY : 22, October 25, 1957

OCCUPATION : Musician

Gideon tried being a hit wizard, he really did. It just didn’t work. He wanted to make a difference so badly, but the fact of the matter was that the stress of the war became too much for him—which was how he ended up having to go to rehab in the first place. He knew he had to make a choice between the demanding job and his own sanity, and so, he chose himself. He’s been learning to do that. It’s more difficult than he thought it would be.

WAND DESCRIPTION : 12 ½ inches, rowan, dragon heartstring, sturdy

WHY THIS CHARACTER? :

Gideon is my baby tbh. I’ve played him so many times and with so many different variations, and honestly, OFC was always my favorite place to play him. I’d love to come back to give him yet another spin if you guys will let me. 

AFFILIATION :

OOTP—This strong sense of justice and need to do the right thing that’s so integral to his personality now has always been a part of Gideon, ever since he was a kid. That was what made him a prefect, and later Head Boy—it wasn’t because he was suck up and a stickler for the rules, but instead he had an innate sense of right and wrong and the will to act on it. His moral integrity hasn’t changed, despite everything that has happened over the past few years, and that means that his staunch alliance with the Order hasn’t changed, either. 

HOW DOES YOUR CHARACTER FEEL ABOUT THE WAR? :

Gideon is honestly tired at this point. It’s been years of fighting now, for him, for everyone, and he can’t wait for the war to be over. This exhaustion, however, instead draining his energy, instead fuels his drive. He’s been working harder as an Order member, has been putting more and more of himself into the fight. He knows that he’s pissing off all the wrong people, but he doesn’t care, as long as it brings an end to everything quicker. 

WHAT IS YOUR CHARACTER’S GREATEST AMBITION? :

He dreams of leaving all of this behind. When the war is over, when everything is said and done, he wants to leave London—he doesn’t know where he wants to go, but he knows that he wants to start fresh somewhere else, somewhere they don’t know his name and they don’t know what he’s been through. He’d like to go somewhere quiet, maybe a small town in the south of France or in northern Italy, where he can play music and live a quiet life. He’s thinking that by the time this war is over, he will have had enough excitement. 

HEADCANONS :

1: Gideon plays bass in a jazz big band. His favorite music to play would firstly be anything that features bass heavily—he’s a bit of an attention-seeker when it really comes down to things—but he also loves playing ballads. They remind him to slow down and make him think of better days. Easier days. Simpler ones.

2: The number of scars that are on Gideon’s body has increased rapidly over the past few years. He only had three or four before then—from falling off a broom when he was 7 or from getting too close to the Whomping Willow when he was 13—but now it’s gotten to the point where he can barely remember the stories that go along with all the scars, there are so many of them. He hates looking at them. While scars might make others feel strong, remind them of everything they’ve been through and everything they’ve survived, they only make him feel weak. They remind him of every time he’s failed. 

3: Insomnia isn’t uncommon these days, and Gideon isn’t immune to it, not in the slightest. He used to drink when he couldn’t sleep, but now he can’t do that, so instead, he has to find ways to tire himself out. Usually, he’ll end up either practicing bass or he’ll go out running. It probably isn’t the best idea, in these times, to go running in the middle of the night, but he has to do something to get his mind and body tired enough that he might get a few hours of restless sleep. 

4: Even though a broken heart might make him seem cynical, Gideon still believes in love. He wants to be in love, and he wants to have someone love him back. He’s a hopeless romantic at heart, and he gets crushes easily—they end just as quickly as they start, but he can become enamored with someone so easily that it’s hard to tell who he’s developed feelings for at any given moment.

SHIPS / ANTI-SHIPS : Gideon x Chemistry, Gideon x Marlene / Gideon x No chemistry

EXTRA INFORMATION :

PATRONUS: A wolf. Big and strong and protective, a wolf is a perfect representation of who Gideon is as a person.

BOGGART: Fabian’s dead body—Gideon can’t imagine life without his brother. They started this thing together, and they sure as hell were going to end it together.

AMORTENTIA: Aftershave

TATTOOS: Gideon has four tattoos (all a scandal to his mother). His more public ones are a lion on the right side of his chest, wreathed in red and gold, a moonlit lake scene on his left forearm, and the words “This too shall pass” on the inside of his right bicep. He has one more, one that is just for himself, right on his hip. It’s just below where the waist of his pants would sit, so he can keep it hidden—I think I would have loved you even if I never met you. 

BIOGRAPHY

Gideon was always a golden boy.

Born into a world of endless love from his parents and brother, Gideon learned to hold the people he cared about close at a very young age. Younger than his twin by a few minutes, Gideon took the role of the youngest child very seriously. A little bit spoiled and lovably bratty, Gideon grew up in a home that valued family and togetherness above all else. He took these morals to heart, making sure that he was there to take care of his siblings. He may have been the youngest, but that wasn’t going to stop him from being the mightiest.

A reckless kid from the beginning, Gideon was often seen climbing walls and getting into mischief—dragging his siblings with him. He always wanted to be the ringleader, as if he was trying to prove something, and his thrill-seeking caused him a broken arm, a scar above his eyebrow, and numerous verbal spankings from his mother. This mentality continued for the rest of his life—even going into adulthood, Gideon never lost that spunk that made him seemingly fearless, making him the perfect candidate to be a hit wizard and member of the Order of the Phoenix.

When he got into Hogwarts, the hat barely had to touch his head to proclaim Gryffindor, and he seamlessly joined the house. Embodying both the good (brave, loyal, protective) and the bad (arrogant, reckless, foolhardy) characteristics of those in the house of the lion, it was no surprise when Gideon excelled in that environment. A member of the quidditch team as a chaser (and later, captain), the dueling club, Prefect and later Head Boy, friends with seemingly everyone, Gideon had no problem fitting in with those inside the castle walls.

A talented wizard, Gideon worked hard as he moved through the years at Hogwarts, achieving a healthy mix of Outstanding (Defense Against Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms) and Exceeds Expectations (Potions, Herbology, Arithmancy, Ancient Runes) NEWTS. While he may not have been the smartest wizard to ever live in those castle walls, he was fully capable. After getting accepted into training for hit wizards, his skills only improved. When he graduated from the year-long training, he was a full fledged member of the Ministry of Magic and allowed to seek the thrills he always craved while doing his job. He was living a good life.

The peace could not last forever, however, as a storm was brewing. Gideon wasn’t blind—he could see that it was starting to seep into the place he had grown to call home, and, always a fighter and always opinionated, he chose a side in a heartbeat. Raised by his parents to be loving and respectful to everyone, he found it appalling that these wizards thought they could become judge, jury and executioner on their own under the guidance of a maniac. With a strong sense of justice, it just felt right for him to dive headfirst into the war, and after he was trained in advanced combat skills, he at least hoped he would be useful.

Of course, being useful wasn’t always as easy as he thought it would be. He messed up a few too many times—he lost a few too many friends, he watched a few too many civilians get hurt or killed and that was enough to push him over the edge. While he may have been a partier in school, that was nothing compared to how he acted after a few too many battles gone wrong. The drinking went from being just on the weekends to every night to every day. He was missing work on benders, gone for 2, 3 weeks at a time without telling anyone. 

War isn’t easy on children, and Gideon is still a child at heart, that much is for sure. There was some part of him that still wanted to be a child, wanted to go back to the days when he was young when he felt like he could take on the world. Too much in this war had broken him already. When his friends finally managed to peel him off the pavement and send him to rehab, that childlike wonder was already fading—and when he came back, there was something different about him. No one could quite place what it was (Gideon had been quite the actor back in school, after all). 

The fact of the matter is that Gideon’s smile just isn’t the same. Not anymore. 

PARA SAMPLE

[ drugs tw, addiction tw, dubcon tw ]

This isn’t right.

                       Wake up, wake up, wake up.

                                                                      This definitely isn’t right.

Wake up, Gideon. Wake up.

Who was she? Gideon couldn’t remember, or maybe he just didn’t care enough to remember. She had a name, he knew that—and as soon as that thought entered his mind, he berated himself for being stupid. Don’t be an idiot, Gideon, of course she has a name. He just couldn’t remember what it was. At least, he hoped it was just a case of a lost memory, and not a case of—not caring.

Then again, which was worse? The knowledge that he didn’t care about this woman, or the knowledge that he had fallen off the wagon so badly, that he had done so much of—whatever his drug of choice had been the night before—that he had completely blacked out whatever her name was, whatever her story was, whatever had bought them here?

He remembered the night before in flashes at best, strobe lights and strange pills that made him feel like he was floating—or was he falling?—and colorful swirls that made him dizzy and made his eyes flutter open and shut as he tried to focus, tried to find his center so that he could make the right decision.

Stop.

A bad dream. That’s what it had to be. He had told himself that he was done with this lifestyle, done with the drinking, with the drugs. He had promised so many people that it was all over, he had promised so many people that it was all said and done and a thing of the past. Gideon wasn’t lying then, and he wouldn’t be lying later when he said that this was the last time. It had to be the last time. He knew that.

This isn’t you.

Still, he wanted to believe that he had it in him. He wanted to believe that he had it in him to quit, that he had it in him to change, to be someone different, someone better than he was. He was getting to the point where he didn’t like himself anymore—and if he couldn’t even like himself, how was anyone else supposed to care for him, right? It couldn’t happen. It didn’t work. He was a train wreck, a failure, the family disappointment. Godric, what would Mum and Dad say?

This really isn’t you.

She said she loved him. Did he hear that right? That couldn’t be right. Jesus, how long had he been on this bender? Did he care any more? He had gotten into the same cycles over and over again, lather, rinse, repeat, get high, have sex, regret it, start all over. She had to be there, in his bed, more than once, that much was for sure. And yet, he still couldn’t remember her name. How the hell was he supposed to remember her name when he was too coked out to remember his own?

Panic. You’re panicking.

He wanted to think it was a nightmare, but it wasn’t. It wasn’t the sex that was haunting him, no—that wasn’t it. It was the remembrance of the high, the euphoria he had been feeling the night before that let him make mistakes, the buzz that still lingered in the back of his mind. He got up slowly, sitting up on the edge of the bed for a moment before finding a half-empty bottle of beer on the floor, still upright—he had to have left it there two nights ago, the last time he was in this room.

It didn’t matter to him. He smelled it, it smelled fine, and he picked up his wand from the floor, casting a quick charm to cool it down again before he got up, buck-ass naked, and walked towards the kitchen, downing the drink in one go. He tipped his head back, getting the last drops of the liquor to drip out onto his tongue before he lined the bottle up with the rest of them—even when he was on a bender, he was still neat. It wasn’t to the usual degree, his bed often unmade and dirty dishes left undone, but there was no garbage laying around, not too much that made it look like a disaster zone.

In the kitchen, there were a number of bottle lined up, and he tilted his head, trying to decide which one he was going to open that day. He opted for the easy, quick way to get himself safely under that fog again—vodka—uncapping it and taking a swig, his face scrunching up at the bitter taste. Wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he looked down at his torso, lined with more than a few scars. He knew that the scars didn’t define him, that they shouldn’t but, hell—it was getting hard to discern between the healthy flesh and the scarred over tissue.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Before he realized it, it was nighttime again, and he was doing the same thing all over. It was always the same thing, over and over and over again. Do a line before you leave for the party. Find some sketchy basement filled with people like you—junkies like you. Do some more. Do as much as you can handle. Push your limits. Forget who you are. Forget why you’re there. Relinquish your grip on reality. Pretend that this reality isn’t the only one.

Believe that maybe, just maybe, there’s something better at the bottom of this bottle.

Overdrive.

Was this too much? Gideon had a sneaking suspicion that it was too much, that he was going way beyond what he was supposed to take, way beyond what he was supposed to be doing. He wasn’t a big guy to begin with—maybe his tolerance had gotten higher because of the frequency with which he was using, but that didn’t mean he was invincible. Gideon was always trying to push that limit, test that little notion of his—the belief that, even as he stared down his own mortality, he was invincible. Nothing could touch him when he felt so good, right?

He was sweating, more than he should have. He wanted to get out of here, but instead, he found himself grabbing her by the shoulders and kissing her fiercely—and by the way she returned the kiss, all sloppy and uncoordinated, she was about in the same place that he was. And that was just fine by him—more drugs meant less talking which meant less thinking which meant less pain, and that was why Gideon had started all of this in the first place.

War wasn’t easy on children.

How do you stop?

And then he was in bed with her again, the nameless, blurry girl that he had found in his bed the night before—he must have lost his glasses, because she was really blurry—and it was done before he could even really begin. Thank goodness for small mercies, for he felt like his heart was about pound right out of his chest. This had to be day six or day seven of his latest bender (the last one had been a record breaking fourteen days) judging by the stack of unopened mail and the feeling of a constant buzz in the back of his mind, like he would always be high, like he would never come down.

He wanted to light up a blunt, but he couldn’t. His hands didn’t work. His body didn’t work. He was staring at the ceiling, making shapes in his mind play across the off-white color, though he was fading quickly, darkness tugging in from the corners of his vision as everything started to go black.

Gideon?

              Giddy, wake up.

                           Jesus Christ, if this is one of your jokes again—

                                                            Holy shit, it’s not a joke. It’s not a joke.

                                                                                       We have to get him to Mungo’s. Now.

Falling, falling, falling—deeper into the rabbit hole.

When he woke up, it was bright. Too bright. He blinked in the glaring light, unsure of where he was for a moment before he recognized the white walls and the god-awful pajamas that the hospital had put him in. He was in St. Mungo’s, he had to be. Looking down at the tag on his wrist, he squinted to read it.

Rehab. They put me in fucking rehab.

Who was “they?” Was it his family? The voices he heard just before he really passed out seemed familiar, but it didn’t sound like Molly or Arthur—at least, he didn’t think it did. He couldn’t be too sure of his memory these days. When was the last time he had even saw them? It had to be before the last bender, before the two weeks he had gone missing without a trace. Did they even bother looking for him this time? Did they care? Or was he just another lost cause whose family gave up on them?

Gideon didn’t want to be a lost cause.

No, this time was going to be different. It had to be different. He had to be different. This had to be rock bottom, right?

Now, it was time to dig up.