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mando-abs · 3 years

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Caged Inn (Series)

Chapter 1: New Greetings

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Pairing: Din Djarin x f!reader

Rating: 18+ (only bc it might get steamy later, but also minors dni w/ my blog in general)

WC: 2.3k

Summary: An assumingly unreadable and broad mandalorian comes to stay at your inn. Will this be your chance to confide in someone? Or will the town and your overbearing feelings for the newcomer get to him first?

A/N: This takes place sometime after season 2, but forget about the whole mand'alor mumbo jumbo. It'll save me and the plot the headache, trust me. Also, let's just believe the Razor Crest survived as well. Okay? Good. But Grogu is still at Jedi Camp.

Planting these moon pansies was a mistake. You shouldn’t have brought it up to Clyde. Honestly, you don’t know why you put in any effort to spruce up the inn at all. Sure, it’s mostly cathartic, and it’s not like you're going to find much else work in this Maker-forsaken town. And it’s not like your lanky sleeze of a boss is going to help. If it’s anyone who’s running things around here, it’s you. Your pockets have never reflected that though. So, here you are, attempting to clear this infestation of vines trying to suffocate your delicate flowers.

Moon pansies do just fine on their own. They thrive under any light, only need watering two or three times a week, and acclimate to any weather (except during cases of extreme heat or cold). They do not, however, take kindly to weeds. It’s still a bit of a mystery why they’re so finicky about their flower bed mates, but the results are clear. The flowers just give up when weeds are present and let them take over.

Oh, but the beautiful glow they emit at night, bright blue luminescence for all to see. That’s why you planted them along the path to the inn in the first place. Unassuming pretty flowers during the day, bold and magnificent wonders of the galaxy at night. You hoped it would attract what few travelers you get this time of year to stop by and stay the night, but the only thing it seems to draw out is the sweat and dirt accumulating on your overalls. You can’t imagine how dirty these gardening gloves have gotten your pant legs after wiping away dirt out of habit. If these flowers did attract the guests you wanted, maybe they would raise enough chatter about how hard you worked out here, make Clyde feel like an ass, and inadvertently get him off his ass to do something for once.

When a large shadow comes beside the particular pair of pansies you’re working on, you didn’t realize at the time how much your prayers were truly answered. A tall Mandalorian stands over you with his head turned to the side almost in quiet reverie, most of his body reflecting the midday sun around the shadow he’s created. You place your pruner and trowel off to the side and squint up at the spectacle traveler. You remind yourself to give your warmest customer service smile. The last thing you want is another potential customer to be turned off and away from you.

“Hello! What brings you here?” Was that too condescending? Honestly, the simplest job all day… This snaps the Mandalorian back into posture, his gear hanging near his shoulders rattling. You raise a hand up in reassurance. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to ruffle your feathers. I just…” you sigh and recompose yourself. You respond again more toned down, “How may I help you?”

The Mandalorian looks up at the inn and back down at your crouching form. “Does this lodging have a vacancy?”

Oh wow. For as large the stature of this Mandalorian is, his voice shouldn’t catch you off guard as much as it is right now. How can a sound so gentle come out from metal so rigid?

You clear your throat. “You’re in luck! All we have are vacancies - it's slow season.” Your subconscious decides it’s time for a break from gardening as it takes off your gloves for you. All of your focus goes into observing the new guest. Not that there’s much to see other than steel, but his whole body almost takes up your field of vision. It makes you wonder what he looks like if he shed his armor, how sturdy his frame would be, how large his proportions go…

You stand up and shake any remaining dirt (and intrusive thoughts). When you look back at the Mandalorian, he’s shuffling back to give you some room and readjusting his grip on his gear. It’s quite a bit, and it looks heavy. You toss whatever distractions away from the forefront of your head and fully hone in on assistant mode.

“I’m sorry, let me help you with that.” You begin to reach for one of his bags when he pulls his shoulder back.

“Please, I’m fine, but thank you.”

You raise your eyebrows and nod your head moderately. “No, I insist -“ but you continue on, and your eyes zero in on the “rod” the Mandalorian is using to carry his items. It’s a weapon, a large one and he’s packing some serious heat. Ok - better choice of words next time.

“I apologize but it’s business policy to not allow unlicensed weapons on the property. If you want to bring in that rifle, we have to file your registration papers.”

The Mandalorian looks at the wooden lodging and then faces you again. “Is this your inn?”

You raise an eyebrow and cross your arms. “Call me an assistant manager.”

“Do assistant managers normally dig up flower beds?”

Oh, so he’s got jokes, huh? It didn’t seem like he was trying to be condescending by tone of voice, but he’s certainly poking the lexu with a stick. Still, it doesn’t prevent you from smiling. “This one does, yes.”

He tries reaching out with his hand, but immediately resists due to the imbalance on his shoulders. He sighs. “I don’t mean any harm to you or your establishment. I do not have any licenses for any of my weapons. However, these weapons are an extension of my beliefs. I need them.”

You look him up and down (not that you already haven’t - just trying act loose and unbothered by the admission to having multiple weapons on hand). He doesn’t sound like a killer, but killers don’t have to sound rough to be rough.

But he is being honest. Honesty is hard to come by this millennium. Honest or not, you still give him the run down any suspicious guests receive.

“You’re a Mandalorian, right?” you inquire, keeping your composure still while becoming stone faced. Intimidation. Not your best feat by far, but it usually picks off the randos that show up at your door. You don’t consider running away any suspicious characters count toward any reprimands both from Clyde or your inner critic.

“Yes. They call me Mando,” he responds without any tone or infliction.

You inch a bit closer. It’s hard to tell if he’s put up a shield too or if he’s always this stone cold. “If what I’ve heard from the stories is true, you’re not far from the truth. But tell me Mando, why do you carry so much fire power?”

“It’s for my occupation.”

Closer. “Occupation?”

“Bounty Hunter.”

Even closer, almost touching him. You look into his visor, searching for his eyes and praying you lock onto them. “You got a keen eye there, Mando?”

“Sharp.”

He hasn’t broken once (not that you could tell or that you’re incredibly intimidating, but you guess that’s a reason for the armor, proving another point of his admissions). “Tell you what. I’ll allow you to stay as long as you keep those weapons out of sight from my boss. Am I clear?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“And in exchange, I will keep your secret by accepting your credits - and a story.” You smile back at him, relaxing your stance.

Mando moves his head back, the first movement he’s made in a hot minute. “A story?”

You step away from him to clear up the dizzying space you’ve created between the two of you. You could hardly take much more of it yourself without your heart going into crisis. You’ll take his small break as a victory. Little as it is, but hey, it’s something. “Yeah! It gets kinda boring around here and I have a good feeling you’re sitting on a great one…or twelve.” You poke the middle of his chest plate, square in the diamond.

“I’m not the talking type.”

You giggle as you make the first move for the both of you to start walking toward the inn. “I never pegged that you were! But I do believe it’s nothing a Mandalorian can’t handle,” you say playfully with your voice a bit higher to tease.

“Alright, it’s a deal.”

Hahaha! Nothing like a bruised mandalorian’s ego to make a victory so sweet. But, did you manage to pressure him into friendly conversation? He didn’t put up that much of a fight. Maybe he’s actually interested in talking with you, let alone sparing some time to sit with you. Was that a smile you could hear in his voice just then? You’re thinking way too much into things. He needs a place to rest, and with his load, he’s got to spend it somewhere. Seriously, you gotta stop it with the innuendos.

As the two of you approach the inn, you quickly jump ahead to unlock the door to swiftly usher the (presumably) exhausted mandalorian in.

“Sorry, my boss usually takes off mornings and afternoons to rest and wander about to the village. I have to lock up if I’m out.”

Mando looks back to you and follows your movement behind the wooden concierge desk off to the leftmost wall. “I don’t remember seeing a village on my way here.”

You try to speak up to let your voice carry over to the mandalorian as you face the wall of room keys to search for the best room. “Oh, well, the surrounding forests can get a bit dense in patches. It’s further up the river, east.”

“Thank you. I’ll make sure to check it out.”

After you turn around, you give a singsong sigh and a closed smile to him. It’s after a beat that you realize you can’t give Mando his room key due to his preoccupied hands and that he needs assistance.

“Oh! Let me show you to your room.”

You scramble over to the mandalorian and make way down the hall only to stop at the room closest to the corner on the right. You unlock the door with the metal room key and pan out your hand to welcome Mando into his new room. He wastes no time in moving in to settle his things off his shoulders and onto the mattress with a large thud.

“Corner rooms give you just enough extra space compared to the other rooms. But don’t tell Clyde I told you that or else he’d charge extra. Just figured you’d like the added room, gives you more hiding spots.” You wink at him.

“Thank you. I appreciate it.”

There’s that politeness again. Are you imagining things? Is this real? Is this a setup from Clyde to see if you’re actually doing your job? In which case, you are definitely not. Not that you would care. Not really. Not deep down. You try not to let the comments or threats from anyone get to you anymore. You know your worth in your own right, and you’ve grown despite the conditions, in spite of them. But, maybe this rough-on-the-edges mandalorian standing in front of you knows your worth, too. Maybe the legends left out an important detail. Just maybe, there’s something more…

“Is everything okay?” Mando chimes in your thoughts.

It’s now that you realize you’ve been staring at him and his belongings for way too long. Even the mandalorian seems to feel awkward. He keeps flexing his fingers and making them into impossibly tight fists. Maker, you’ve got to say something!

“Have you ever killed a man?” you ask Mando with the blankest, doe-eyed expression on your face. You immediately cringe at your own first line of defense dialogue. Nice going…

Mando chuckles and places his thumbs to hug his belt. You dare not follow your gaze with them. “Do you always ask this to your guests?”

You nervously laugh and bring your hand to the back of your neck. “Only the interesting ones.”

“Right. Well,” Mando steps closer to reach for the side of the door while looking at your face, “I guess you’ll have to find out at story time.” You break his eye contact for a moment to catch a peak at his irresistible yet fully clothed and armored bicep hanging mere inches from you as he closes in. He has to be teasing at this point. Why else would he be torturing you so?

“Yeah. Right.” You fumble out into the hallway, making breathy attempts at a laugh to try to salvage whatever cool remains in you. “Well, I’ll be at the front desk if you need me. Rest easy.”

“You, too, sen’ika.” Mando comfortably replies as he nods and slowly shuts the door.

Even though your brain and stomach is guttering with embarrassment as you fast walk down the hall on your way back to the desk, your heart can’t help but soar at the thought of learning more about your patron. It’s highly ridiculous that you would even entertain the thought of sitting down with a potential murder. But hey, he’s a bounty hunter. It’s not like you can blame the guy. You know full well his line of work can get choppy from time to time, and jobs in this galaxy are hard to come by. You guess what you're most interested in is a clean slate. Someone who you have no clue about, and someone who doesn’t know about you. You get the first say in your story. Nobody else. And yet, so does he.

As you prop your head in your hands and stare out the windows to the meticulously kept flowers up front, you begin to finally indulge in what you want for yourself and not what others want from you. Things may be starting to finally get interesting around here.

A/N: Sorry if it’s a bit rushed at the end, but I just really want to get this out in the open. Also, Din called reader “little bird” at the end if you were wondering what that meant. Hopefully, I can get to writing the next chapter in the next week or so instead of a month or so. Thank you all for being so nice and encouraging. It means a lot. As God as my witness, my new year’s resolution is uploading more writing on this blog. Hope you all enjoy!

Tags: @moodsare @mindidjarin @samanthacookieone @paintlavillered @mswarriorbabe80

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theshelbyclan · 4 years

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2k celebration fic rec!!

So I’ve reached 2k and I’m beyond grateful, it actually made me cry. But it also made me realise that none of this is about me really. It sometimes feels like the fandom is slowly dying, like creators are being forgotten about and we have less and less to go feral about (as a wise person once said ;) ). So I wanted to give all of you who might not get the recognition they would like the platform for the day. These fics I love and I would love for everyone to read them, but they usually have less than 100 notes. And now more than ever we need to lift each other up! So without further ado: masterpieces that deserve all the love. Me and my blog wouldn’t be where we’re at without all of you ❤️🖤❤️

(gif by @mistress-gif) Imagine 2 by @sophieshelby: I think this was the first Tommy imagine I ever read of hers and it’s very much like all her other ones: very sweet, easy to read and as soon as you’ve finished one of them, you’ll want to read through her entire masterlist. The best thing about this was how romantic it is, but not sweetly, so the characters remain very much in character for me, which is a great skill for any fanfic writer! Check out her work, you will not be disappointed!! A Bloody Good Excuse To Touch by @comebackjessica: This one is probably my new favourite Tommy x Alfie fic, and it made me laugh out loud through the entire thing. Tommy was shot by a canon, Alfie finds out he’s ticklish, John won’t stop calling Alfie Tommy’s boyfriend, and everything is just brilliant. And to top it all off, Alfie then says when threatened by Tommy: “Oh, I don’t doubt it, mate. Scary little gangster you are, hm.” I was dead 😂 Alfie x Ada (Peaky blinders imagine) by @vintunnavaa: WHY did no one ever write about these two together before because it is perfection. At first it’s hilarious, then it’s suddenly serious and sweet and emotional and as a sweet cherry on top: the family reacts. Absolute stroke of genius this imagine was en everyone should read it.

The Chronicles of Polly Gray by @raccoon-is-my-spirit-animal: picking just one of Anna’s fics is a crying shame, because all of them are comedic gold and deserve so much more attention. I may be biased as this major fan of her work, but you do not want to miss out on any of them. But this series on the goddess we know as Polly Gray is so original as it’s set before the series and done beautifully. She does this queen every justice and even though Anna happily rips my heart out, I can’t imagine life without this fic anymore 👏 Coming out 1 – Peaky Preference by @murswrites: Can’t remember the first time I read this one, but I do remember it set me on a bender when it came to her work. It gave me so much comfort reading this and it made me feel accepted, even if it was just by a bunch of fictional characters, because the rest of the world often doesn’t. I needed this one, badly. Polly reaction especially had me in tears. Please, read this, whether you’re scared of coming out or not, because this is the writing everyone truly needs 😘❤️ Don’t You Get Any Ideas by @amysteryspot: As you all probably know, Ari has my whole heart. And like it often is in this fandom, her Tommy fics are getting a lot of recognition (as they bloody should), but her other ones not as much as they deserve. This one is about John, the reader is gender neutral and this protective John is literally everything. Basically, this is the kind of fic I want to live in and I might just do that from now on… Mother of Mine by @shelbywhiterose: Apparently I really like these background type of fics, and this one especially, about the Shelby’s mother. For the life of me I do not understand why this fic isn’t getting more notes and love, because it’s so poetically beautiful. Like the idea is very original, an entire background world has been thought out because of it, and even though it’s quite a long fic, I could not stop reading. This writer is unbelievably talented, creativity through the roof, and you do not want to miss out on any of it 💕

Immoral by @bonniesgoldengirl: There are times when I just feel my happy bi self and there are times when I feel simply gay and there are times where my entire sexuality is just Ada Shelby. This fic did that 😂. I think it’s been mentioned before, but a lot in this fic centres on Linda being bigoted and awful, but I didn’t even notice really because kisses ME (the reader) and it’s all I know now. Honestly, favourite Ada fic right here and I need all of it in my life, because it left me too horny to function. Thanks for that 😐😘 Keep On Haunting Me by @caelys: It’s no secret I go full fangirl when it comes to her work, but this particular fic is one of those I keep coming back to. Lizzie, my baby, is written wonderfully in it with some background even and I swear some of the lines in this one are pure poetry: “God quickly reminded her that she was there to fuck, not to feel; even is she despised that fact. Or maybe God just liked to fuck with her. Because as quickly the Shelby’s became her curse, they became her blessing.” But most of all, this story really is haunting, it’s painful and it’s like a ghost itself. The talent in this one short fic will never cease to blow me away, no matter how many times I’ve read it already. 🖤🖤

Burnt Toast by @irishwhiskeys: Another reader as Shelby sister one, but I love it. Kinda broke my heart, made me cry, but strangely enough we like doing stuff like that to ourselves. 🙈 But honeslty, this author has so many gems in the masterlist and it would be your loss to miss any of them. Please send them all the love! In the Bleak Midwinter by @peakyswritings: Well this broke my heart into a thousand pieces. The war has impacted John as well, even if SK decides not to show it, but this fic does. Weaved in with the song, it’s a poetical masterpiece, honestly. All the emotions are captured brilliantly and even though it left me actually sobbing, it’s one of my favourites on here. An Ode To Arthur Shelby by @the-makingsofgreatness: I have no idea why there are so few Arthur Shelby fics out there and I have even less of an idea as to why this one isn’t getting all the attention. One word for this fic is just BEAUTIFUL. It’s sad and heartbreaking, but everything just fits Arthur. The way you describe him, his life, his skin even, it’s just mesmerizing to read. I wish to God you would write more like this one, or continue this one, because it’s pure art. Mr. Rattlebone by @murderousginger: Tommy and Lizzie, the original dream team that I can’t get enough of. Lizzie deserves everything in the world and more, as does this fic. This story is funny at times, very angsty and there’s some nice little smut in there. I loved every second of it 👏👏 Green is Your Colour by @babylooneytoonz: Another one that gets all the points for originality, because the reader is Isaiah Jesus’ older sister! FINALLY we get another POC reader and the story itself does not disappoint for a second. Tommy is adorable in this one and I just need fluff like that in my life. But everything this author brings out if just amazing. But this one, in particular, made me feel beautiful and that’s such a great gift to give to any reader. Thank you, love ❤️

There are so many more and feel free to add to this one! Please remember that I also love and appreciated the bigger blogs on here or the fics with more notes, I just wanted to show that there’s so much talent out there, even if it won’t show up in Tumblr’s annoying algorithm thing that I don’t understand. Make sure to send each other some love: we all need each other! 😘😘

#peaky blinders #thank you all #I love you so much!!#2k fic rec #2k celebration #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders fanfiction #fic recs #fic rec

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honeymint-subs · 4 years

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Nice Try

Authors Note: I just wanted to say im surprised how well my last writing is doing beings it was posted just yesterday, like I honestly didnt expect anyone to read it yet they did and I even got noticed by two blogs I really like and admire so that was a nice surprise. So I wanted to post again quickly, so I wrote for one of my ults :)

Content: Sub!Subin, Dom!Reader, Service top Subin, vaginal sex, no mention of protection

Word Count: 678

Subin hated being seen as small, whenever he was around his members he was always seen as adorable, cute, and innocent. Like the boy could do no wrong. So when he was around you, he would try his hardest to seem as tough and dominant as possible.

Which led to tonight, you and Subin were laying in bed, having a movie night and it seemed to be pretty normal. Expect for the fact that you two decided on turned out to be way more on the raunchy side then you planned.

One particular scene seems to leave Subin flustered, fiddling in his spot until you feel something graze apron your backside.

Turning on your side to face him, raising your brow at the blushing mess of your boyfriend. “Is someone needy?”

“I didn’t wanna interrupt you,” Subin admits, throwing his leg over your waist and straddling you. “But it hurts...I don’t think I can handle much longer.”

As he speaks, you roll your hips up against his, cussing a small whimper to come from him, but he puts a stop to it by holding your hips down, “No.” He says.

You looked up at him confused, wondering what you did wrong. He seems to catch on from your expression and goes on to explain himself “I haven’t asked for your help yet, I wanna get off on my time.”

“Aw, my baby has some confidence today,” Sliding your hand up from his neck into his dark locks of hair, threading through it softly before giving it a harsh tug making Subin gasp. “But it seems you’re forgetting who's in charge here.”

“Now I’d suggest you get to work while I feel like being nice to you, maybe if you do a good enough job I won’t punish you tonight, yeah?”

Subin lets out an audible gulp, nodding at your words as you undo the tie to his sweatpants. He can’t seem to get out of them fast enough, his now fully hard member springing out. “No underwear? You must’ve planned this, hm?”

A slight blush covers Subin ears as he ignores your remark, instead he aligned himself at your core. “Can I?” Subin asks, knowing that he’s walking a short line and one fuck up could cause him his euphoria tonight.

“So polite,” Wrapping a hand around Subin's throat as a warning. “You may.”

Subin didn’t need to be told twice before pushing himself in, a moan coming from both of you as he set a needy pace. It doesn’t take long for Subin to hit all the right spots, knowing your own body like the back of his hand.

But of course, you can’t let him have all the control. Pulling at his hair again to look him in the eyes, groaning at the look he gives you, lust completely glazed over his eyes, but yet he still gives you this pleading look. He made it so hard to fight the desire to just ruin him.

“You’re doing so well, doll. Maybe I should let you cum, make me your own. Wouldn’t you like that?”

Subin nodded to the best he could, nails digging into your thighs, leaving crest moon shapes on your skin. “Please Y/n...So close”

Reaching down and grabbing one of his hands, you place it on your crotch. Subin immediately gets the message and rubs harsh circles on your clit, causing your high to approach you quickly.

“Go ahead, cum for me baby” Subin ruts against you, not long after that you feel Subin twitch inside you. The warmth filling feeling followed shortly after.

Your own high hitting hard, squeezing around Subin and milking every last bit of his release.

Subin collapsed to the side of you, trying to catch his breath.

“You did so well Subinnie, I’m so proud of you.” Giving him a kiss on the cheek. “We should go clean you up.”

“Later, I just wanna lay here. Please?”

Nodding, you take him into your arms. Within minutes the boy is fast asleep looking as peaceful as ever.

#sub!victon #sub!subin #dom!reader #sub!idol #victon smut #subin smut #victon #victon subin #jung subin #sub!kpop #kpop smut

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panharmonium · 4 years

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you know what?

no. absolutely not.

i already did part 1 of this post here. i’m back again with part 2, because unfortunately the awfulness factor doesn’t stop with arthur, and as much as i adore hunith generally, this entire sequence is a MESS.

and yes, i am aware that pretty much nobody else thinks so. every time i see this scene referenced in fandom, it is always framed as a fun, cutesy, sing-songy moment of “oooo, hunith ships merthur!” literally every time.

which, you know, like i always say about everything fandom-related - that’s fine. everybody is going to enjoy things differently; you do you, and keep on having fun! but here on my own blog, in my own space, i am gonna do me, and in this case ‘me’ involves yelling about how much i can’t stand that particular read, and how angry the end of 1.10 makes me.

disclaimer, to help folks curate their own fandom experiences: i am going to be Very Cranky for the rest of this post. if you love this particular scene in the way i just mentioned, you will probably want to scroll on by, because this piece of meta most likely won’t be your jam. as always, these are my personal thoughts and nobody is obligated to share them, so please do not hesitate to simply skip this post if we are on different wavelengths - instead, keep enjoying fandom in whatever way is most fun for you!

fair warning now given, off i go on a long, frustrated tirade.

i already wrote about the first half of this scene, where arthur decides that the appropriate thing to do at this particular moment is to give merlin a scolding about the evils of sorcery, despite the fact that the only reason arthur is even alive to deliver this lecture in the first place is because merlin’s ‘sorcerer’ best friend just DIED saving arthur’s life. but sure, you know what, let’s use said best friend’s funeral to chastise merlin about how “dangerous” sorcerers are. let’s just make that completely dickheaded decision.

and, moving on to the second half of this scene - here’s the thing. hunith overhears this entire conversation. she overhears arthur telling merlin off about sorcery, in front of the burning corpse of merlin’s best friend, who is, as far as arthur knows, the ‘sorcerer’ who died saving arthur’s life.

and yet, for some inexplicable reason, hunith still cannot get off the arthur pendragon train for two damn seconds.

she has known arthur for less than a week. by contrast, she has known will for his entire life. but the instant arthur walks away, hunith sidles up next to merlin and says, “you’d better be going” - like. okay, my god, can you try to hustle him away from his best friend’s in-progress funeral any faster????? how about we maybe give him a second? the pyre hasn’t even burnt down yet, and merlin hasn’t had a single second to himself since this sequence started. he’s had to stand there and listen to arthur insult the dude who everyone is supposed to be memorializing, and then hunith - who overheard the entire thing - zips right over and tries to chivvy merlin on his way. you’d better be going.

HELLO?! the pyre is still roaring. how about, instead of hassling merlin and hustling him offstage, everybody just sits down and waits for a minute. how about they all just leave merlin alone for three everloving seconds.

honestly, just - every time i think about this scene i get angrier.

i love hunith, and i know she’s well-intentioned. but everything she gives merlin in this scene is the exact opposite of what he needs. he doesn’t need to be hurried off the village green like there’s some reason he can’t stay there for the entirety of his friend’s funeral. he doesn’t need to be pushed into going back to camelot when he is clearly struggling with the idea of leaving ealdor again. and he absolutely does not need to be told how much someone else “needs” him right now, when he himself is the one who is having a fucking crisis and who needs someone to take care of him.

i cannot emphasize that last point enough. it is just - beyond upsetting to me that hunith literally watches arthur shitting on merlin’s dead best friend (and, by proxy, merlin himself, since merlin is the actual sorcerer) and she still somehow thinks the right thing to do is walk over and start telling merlin how great arthur is and how arthur “needs” him and how merlin “belongs at arthur’s side.”

i can’t stand that. it makes me so angry. it’s not right. it’s not fair. it’s damaging. it’s the same shitty messaging that destroys merlin’s life in later seasons, this idea that he exists for someone else’s sake, the complete disregard for what he himself might want at any given moment, for what he himself might need, for the reservations he might have about this plan that other people have formulated for his life.

he is UNCOMFORTABLE when she says these things to him! he doesn’t look at her; he shifts his gaze to arthur and the camelot squad with this grim, unconvinced expression on his face, and then he averts his eyes from her.

everything hunith tells merlin in this scene is the exact opposite of what he needs to hear. he does not need someone to tell him how badly his services are “needed” by a man who hates the person merlin truly is, not when the only friend who ever accepted merlin’s true self has just been killed. he does not need to be told that arthur, who is alive solely because will is dead and who only seconds ago expressed exactly zero gratitude for that sacrifice, is the person to whom merlin owes his undying loyalty. he does not need to be shuffled off to camelot as quickly as possible, as if it would be better for him to just rush forward and forget what happened here, as if what happened here didn’t matter.

because what happened here did matter, whether hunith and arthur find it convenient to acknowledge or not. i have to lay this out again, because what happened to merlin in ealdor is so much more important than anybody ever seems to realize - and i do understand that, i really do (because yes, it was just one episode for us) - but we have to look at it from merlin’s perspective, not the audience’s.

will wasn’t ‘one episode’ for merlin.

i can’t say this enough times. i cannot say this loudly enough.

merlin, at the beginning of this show, has only ever had ONE FRIEND.

most of us can’t even imagine something like that.

but try. TRY.

merlin has only ever had one friend. he’s only ever had one friend to love him. he only had one friend for the first two decades of his life. he’s only been in camelot for a couple of months; he’s only known these camelot people for a couple of months, and they don’t know his real self anyhow. and now his ONLY FRIEND, the person he’s known all his life, the only friend he ever had who knew him for who he truly was, was just violently cut down before his very eyes, whilst saving a guy who can legally have merlin murdered for just existing. and even though merlin and will spend the entirety of 1.10 having a painful, complicated argument, will still uses his last moments on earth to tell the biggest fucking whopper of his life, in order to shield merlin from harm, taking all of the danger and infamy and condemnation upon himself. he dies with a lie on his lips. he dies with merlin’s hand in his hair.

and all the while, merlin knows that this would not have happened if he had just been willing to use his magic in the first place, instead of letting his fear of discovery prompt him into allowing his neighbors to offer themselves up for the slaughter in his place.

the avalanching double-whammy of grief and guilt that merlin is suddenly slammed with at the end of this episode is almost incomprehensible in scale.

i’ve talked about this before, but again, i think it’s something we don’t generally remember: losing will is the first time merlin has ever experienced personal bereavement. and he doesn’t get to start out with a warm-up; he goes straight to the big leagues. this is not some trifling thing. this is a total implosion of merlin’s world as he knows it.

when we think about the mark this episode leaves on merlin’s life, i don’t think most of us consider the magnitude of this event deeply enough. losing will in this way is not some one-off thing that merlin just...gets over. this is the most earth-shattering thing that has ever happened to him, at this point in time. it is still one of the worst things that has ever happened to him, period, even years later. the guilt never goes away.

and the thing that’s unique about this particular trauma is that merlin has to manage it alone. there are other tragedies in his life where we witness him receiving support/comfort from others - freya, lancelot, balinor (though of course there are aspects to these miseries that merlin has to keep secret from other people, as well) - but with will, merlin has to do everything on his own. he can’t get one single moment of peace at will’s funeral. his own mother, the only person who knows what really happened, can’t help him without making everything about arthur. and merlin can’t tell anyone else what happened, not the truth of it, because doing so would squander the gift he’s been given - will’s lie is still protecting him, years later, from arthur and morgana both.

merlin, at the end of 1.10, is forced to navigate this grief completely alone, in the silent secrecy of his own heart. arthur is actively making it worse. hunith is out here singing arthur’s praises. and will is just like - he’s suddenly not part of the conversation anymore. he doesn’t even register on anyone’s radar.

it truly is...incredible, for me, to watch hunith overhear arthur being legitimately terrible to both merlin and the guy who just died saving merlin AND arthur’s lives, and then to see her come over and start talking about how merlin belongs at arthur’s side, how much merlin needs to be there for him, how they’re two sides of the same coin. meanwhile, the guy who literally just lied his life away to protect merlin’s secret and who NEVER made merlin feel like he had to hide who he was and who never had any problem with magic in the first place and never made merlin feel unsafe and never treated merlin like he was less of a human being just for existing -

- he’s just burning to ash there, and hunith doesn’t even acknowledge that, despite the fact that merlin is so visibly, intently, single-mindedly focused on that funeral pyre, and so clearly in distress and in pain and NEEDING somebody. all she can talk about is merlin’s responsibility to arthur.

the dissonance here is baffling. hunith has known will forever. she met arthur less than a week ago. she barely knows him, and what she does know is that he thinks magic-users are dangerous/evil. she saw him being a dick to her kid. she knows her son is having the worst day of his life. and she still doesn’t offer a single comforting word in reference to the person who just died protecting merlin’s secret, instead choosing to wax poetic about a man whose bigotry is what merlin needed protecting from in the first place.

that...is a hot mess. the merlin-hunith-will dynamic is one of the few things in this show that reflects less-than-stellarly on hunith’s character, however much i love her. and even though it all stems from an overwhelming desire to keep her son safe, it doesn’t make her choices any less damaging. she sends merlin away specifically because she finds out that will knows about his secret. she spends 1.10 analyzing and encouraging and dissecting merlin’s relationship with arthur, when merlin’s relationship with will is the one that desperately needs attention. she’s proven wrong about will’s trustworthiness in the most stunning, powerful way possible, and then she never even acknowledges him, instead choosing to laud the dude who literally forces merlin to live in fear of execution.

she’s merlin’s mother. she’s the only person in his life who knows anything about what will actually meant to him. she is his only possible resource as he tries to weather a kind of devastation that defies description.

and she, like arthur, just barrels right on ahead and makes everything about someone else.

the cinematography choices in this scene matter. whenever arthur or hunith tries to talk to merlin, the camera is placed on the opposite side of the fire from them, meaning the flames are always in the foreground of the frame. they are something we are required to see and look past before we can get to anything else in the scene. and in terms of directorial/acting decisions - merlin doesn’t take his eyes off the pyre until the end of his conversation with hunith. not once while talking to arthur does he look away from it.

the funeral pyre is always in the foreground of the shot, because it’s in the forefront of merlin’s mind. that is where his focus is right now. that is what is taking up all of his attention. that is what is edging into the frame, eating up our entire field of view. that is what he needs help with.

but he doesn’t get any such support. the entire sequence ends up revolving around arthur. will’s entire funeral is about arthur fucking pendragon. arthur inserts himself so he can talk to merlin about how evil magic is, and then hunith inserts herself so she can talk to merlin about how great arthur is. nobody ever stops to think that maybe merlin doesn’t want to talk to anybody right this second. merlin’s entire ‘farewell’ to the only true friend he ever had in his life is completely swallowed up by the prince of camelot, and if that isn’t a metaphor for the rest of merlin’s life, then i don’t know what is.

i know nobody needs to hear this, because very few people are invested in this kid at the same level of embarrassing detail as me, but here it is, anyway.

yes, will is prickly. he’s hard to get on with. he’s angry. he’s bitter and snappy and uncharitable, sometimes.

but you know what? he has every reason to be like that.

this kid has nobody. his own best friend’s mother - who has known him all his life - doesn’t trust him and doesn’t respect him. she is too afraid for her own son’s safety to give will any credit. she sends merlin away to camelot, the most violently anti-magic place in the world, because apparently, will knowing about merlin’s secret would be even more dangerous than uther pendragon’s genocidal reign.

think about how that would feel. to hear something like that about yourself. to be somebody who is already so goddamn alone in the world, and to have your only friend vanish without so much as a ‘see you later,’ and then to be made to feel, however indirectly, like this is somehow your fault, like you’re the liability, like you’re the untrustworthy element here. as if you, somehow, are more dangerous than a king who literally pays to have sorcerers trafficked to him in cages.

will has every right to be upset, all the time. he has every reason to be angry, and bitter, and hurt, all the time. to be thought so poorly of - to be held in such low esteem - when he hasn’t done anything wrong, when he hasn’t ever done anything to earn that kind of mistrust - and to have that same misplaced suspicion used to justify separating him from the only person in the world who gives a damn about him - if it were me, i would be constantly on the verge of screaming, all the time.

will has always been on merlin’s side, and he has never done anything to endanger him, and in the end he gives up everything to make sure merlin can stay safe and hidden and unhunted. he shouldn’t have needed to prove his goodness, his constancy, his worth; not when he’s already kept merlin’s secret for who knows how many years, but even after he does do so, it doesn’t even matter. arthur acknowledges him only to disparage sorcery. hunith passes him over completely in favor of praising arthur, with no acknowledgment of the misjudgment she made.

i have said before that merlin tends to befriend people who have nobody, people who’ve been left behind by the rest of the world, people who’ve been made to feel that they aren’t worthy of love. and will, merlin’s oldest friend, was the first of those many characters, and it is so heartbreaking to me that in this instance, the same kind of disinterested and careless attitude towards his worth that dogged him all his life is perpetuated and affirmed after his death. ‘people are used to ignoring him,’ merlin tells arthur, and merlin is right - even when will is dead and burning, arthur only sees sorcery. hunith, who we would expect to be more sympathetic, only sees arthur.

merlin is the only one who knows better. merlin has always known better, and he loves will so much, but he is the only one, apparently, and honestly, after will dies? nobody else even tries to understand.

to sum up:

hunith and arthur, for all that i love them, are both way out of line at the end of this episode.

the legacy of this experience, for merlin, is that he spends the rest of his life processing this particular trauma alone. and that is why i always, always have to keep will and ealdor in the back of my mind when i write for merlin in any capacity - because this event isn’t some simple stumbling block for him; it changes him forever. it teaches him what he can and can’t expect from the people around him, and it solidifies how irrelevant his own needs are when viewed in comparison with arthur’s, even to people who barely even KNOW arthur; people who are supposed to put merlin first over everything. it teaches merlin to bury his sorrow, and to wrestle with personal suffering in secret, because if things aren’t ultimately about arthur, then they aren’t important enough to be granted any significant amount of time for merlin to deal with. merlin’s own grief, even at his best friend’s funeral, takes too long to resolve. arthur walks away from the pyre, and it’s time for merlin to leave, too. you’d better be going.

bottom line: i don’t care if other people think this whole ‘ooo, everybody wants merlin to be with arthur’ thing is wonderful or beautiful or dreamily romantic. it isn’t. it’s ugly, and it’s cruel, and it stripped merlin of his present identity and his future potential, one stolen moment at a time.

#and that's what i have to say about that #so.#in case you all weren't already aware #will is a goddamn hero #and merlin misses him every day #the once and future slowburn #meta #no kings no masters

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fangirlings-things · 4 years

Text

Ordinary evening

• Fandom: Peaky Blinders

• Word count: 1.1K

• Pairing: Arthur Shelby x reader

• Summary: on an ordinary evening, you go see Arthur on the betting shop

• A/N: I wrote his for @maggiescarborough her blog is turning one year old tomorrow so congratssss love 💖 I hope there are many more to come. I wrote this small piece for the celebration, hope I done that prompt good and hope you enjoy!!

gif is not mine

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"Tommy" you greeted the man when you entered the betting shop, a smile on your lips. You would do that almost all the times you showed up there. Yet, the surprise on that particular day was that he smiled back.

"(Y/N)" he replied, leaning against one of the walls of the place. He was having a smoke, his eyes had been fixed on the floor in a way that made it clear that he had some things going on in his mind. He was Thomas Shelby, after all. He always had something in his mind. But on that day, whatever it was, wasn't enough to prevent him from giving you a small smile and it made you happy. "How was your day at work?"

"It was fine, not many news to type so I just drank coffee through the entirety of the day" you shrugged, thinking about the work day on the local newspaper. Quite often, you would have to write news about him and his family. The people you knew and had grew quite fond of. Having to type lies about them, orders of the police... well, it was not the best job in the world. But it paid your bills and the Shelby's understood that, so that was really mattered.

"Need something stronger? The Garrison is opening tonight" Tommy suggested, taking the smoke to his lips afterwards.

"When is The Garrison not opening?" you said and he laughed. He actually laughed a bit. It made you frown in surprise once again. Whatever had happened to have him happy for the first time in a long while, you were glad for it. "I'll be there, Tommy. Some drinks would do me good, I suppose"

"We're having as many as you want, love"

Turning your head to the direction from where the voice had come, you saw Arthur standing at the other entrance of the room, wearing his usual grey pants and only a white shirt to cover his chest. He had loosened the suit today and you liked it. His hair although well cut was a bit messy, a strand of it hang on his forehead in a way you always found beautiful. His eyes were as full of passion as always. His hands were on his pockets, hiding the cold gold rings he used in his long fingers.

"Thought you would not meet me here after all, and I would have to leave with Tommy" you smiled at the eldest brother as you said so, a teasing tone in your voice that you knew he liked it.

"It would be my pleasure, (Y/N)" Tommy spoke again, looking from his brother to you. The ghost of his smile was still there. Not quite present, but if you looked closer, you would be able to see the remains of it on the corners of his lips.

"When have I ever not met you when we agreed to see each other?" Arthur got closer as he spoke, stopping the walking only when he found himself a few inches away from you. From this close distance, you could see that he had a cut on his left cheek. It was quite red, some stained blood in it. "I'm sorry to keep you waiting, I was just finishing some stuff on the books with Polly"

"Don't mind it. Did you get into a fight today?" you raised your hand and softly touched the cut on his skin with your fingertips. Worry suddenly filled your whole being.

"I got it in the ring, love. Nothing serious, just blew off some steam" Arthur was quick to say, grabbing your hand with one of his and taking it towards his lips. He pressed his lips against your palm in a soft, delicate kiss. "There is nothing to be worried about"

You looked deep into his eyes, inspected his face, trying to see if that was the truth. It was not that you did not trust him, of course you did. But you knew the problems he had had in the past with fighting and drinking. You worried he would be back in that life.

"He's right, (Y/N)" Tommy said, making you turn to him since he got your attention. Looking at his face, you saw that Tommy understood your concern. Even shared it. So, the fcat that he reassured you was quite welcoming. "Just the ring, for sport"

"Good" you turned back to Arthur, and saw that he was smiling. He was not angry for Tommy having to reassure what he said. Instead, he seemed proud of himself, probably. It was so sweet that it warmed your heart.

"Shall we go, then? Some fine whisky is waiting for us in The Garrison, love" Arthur seemed excited.

"Yes, sure" you smiled as he held your hand in his, tightly in a way that made you feel good. Safe. Even if everything about his life was not safe at all.

Arthur turned back to Tommy. "Wanna come with us, Tom?"

"No, Arthur, you and (Y/N) go on" Tommy looked at you both together for a moment and to your joined hands. He had told you before, that you were good to Arthur. You had done him really good and was one of the reasons, maybe the greatest, that kept him stable. "I have something to do first, but I'll show up later. Then, we can share a fine drink"

"Don't take too long or we won't wait for you, Tommy" you said to him and Arthur laughed as you both walked out of the betting shop together and into the streets of Small Heath. It was a hot day, and you were happy to have chosen that sleeveless dress for the evening.

"I missed you this week, love" Arthur passed his arm around your shoulders, bringing you closer to him. You could notice the affection on his tone and it got to you, like it always did.

Honestly speaking, you did not know why you had come to love him so much. Everything from the beginning had been quite messy, sloppy and dangerous and yet, you were sure no one would ever make you feel as good as Arthur Shelby did. He did bring you so much happiness. Much of those in certain times, would make you sad. You were not blind to the fact that his family had many enemies, and you could loose him anytime. Everyday you lived in fear and yet, it was worth it.

So bloody worth it.

"I missed you too" you said and looked at him, turning your head to the side. He turned to you and smiling in that unique way of his, kissed your lips for a brief second.

You continued the way to the Garrison through Small Heath in silence, just enjoying each other's presence.

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tag list: @sophieshelby ; @charmingvalkyrie

#imagine #x reader #fanfic #imagines #peaky blinders imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinders #peaky blinders imagines #arthur shelby x reader #arthur shelby #arthur shelby imagine #arthur x reader #arthur shelby fanfic

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cutesuki--bakugou · 5 years

Text

Frigid

Main Pairing: Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader

Story Rating: Explicit

Genre: Fluff / Hurt / Comfort / Romance

Story Warnings: Topics of Depression / Body Image, Relationship Drama (implied / suspected cheating), Arguments, Cursing, Sex (rough: choking, dirty talk), Foreplay

Words: 8,070

Summary: Hiking with your long-term boyfriend had always been an enjoyable, if not a bit challenging, experience. In the dead of winter, he talks you into trudging up the mountain side, but there’s more than just the frigid cold that needs to be conquered. Guilt, regret, and the loss of a connection that you once had with him all put out in the open, it is up to you both to fix what had been broken and reignite your frozen hearts.

a/n: I know, this is a long one! But I didn’t want to split it up and ruin the pace, so I hope you enjoy the read! ღゝ◡╹)ノ♡ Sorry for all the negativity that came through on this one, but I promise I pull it around with cute fluff, hot make up sex, and super sweet Bakugou that’ll make your heart melt. (⺣◡⺣)♡*

Please blacklist the tag cutesuki-lemons if you do not want to see this content from my blog. I will no longer be tagging with specific keywords for this type of content.Thank you~

Due to the nature of this post, the characters are 18+

You had always greatly enjoyed the winter season, that much you could admit. The cool weather, softly falling snow, and cheerful atmosphere made it perfect for gathering with loved ones and celebrating the holidays. Bundling up in warm clothes and scarves with fabric so soft it felt like the gentle kisses from your lover, tender and warming you to the core. Warmth is what you loved most about the winter, in the form of a cozy fireplace, your lover's arms around you, or enjoying a hot cup of tea beneath a wool blanket and fuzzy socks. It was a time to cuddle, to rest, to love, and to give.

Yes, you loved winter and all the pleasant things that came with it.

But not right now. No, in fact, you despised the ice-cold wind blowing against your face as you trudged up the side of a mountain, the current angle of the snow-covered ground barely ascendable without tools. Your legs ached with each push and pull you had to make to heave your body up, and though you figured it would have gotten easier by now, the struggle only continued to grow heavier on your body. Nearly six hours, now, you had been following your lover up this mountain path, and with only two breaks in between, you were near your limit. But, even if you begged to stop now, that wasn’t possible.

You had gone climbing and hiking with your hotheaded lover enough times to know his routine. This path in particular was one you had gone up a couple of times while dating, but never in the winter. Sure, he had gone in the colder months, but you had never felt up to it all the years before. Somehow, he had talked you into it this time, dragging you excitedly out into the wilderness. He loved this sport, and even if you had always supported him in the past, that encouragement was nonexistent. Right now, you wished that he liked something a little easier, safer, warmer, or just straight up boring.

Chess, maybe? Or perhaps an indoor sport like volleyball or badminton, you could get into one of those easily. You even preferred his intense workout regimen over this hell! Yet, here you were, clutching your cold gloved hands around a tree root to pull yourself up onto a rock ledge. As you came to rest on your knees, you felt all your breath leave you, the weight of your backpack and other luggage suddenly feeling like it weighed a ton.

“K-Katsuki, wait a second!”

Having heard your plea, Bakugou stopped, looking back at you. You couldn’t see his face, as it was covered with goggles around his eyes and a face mask to protect his nose, mouth and neck. Hood of his jacket pulled up as well, all you could see was a small tuft of his blonde hair sticking out around his forehead, which bounced about in the wind. You were pretty much the same as far as being protected from the cold and wind, though it was still enough to make your cheeks and tip of your nose tingle and burn.

After a quick glance around him to check your surroundings, Bakugou jumped and slid back down, kneeling beside you once he could. “Are you hurt?”

Even though it crossed your mind to lie that you had in hopes he would take it easier on you, the truth prevailed, and you gave a small shake of your head. Pulling down your mouth and nose cover so you could talk better, you wiped your nose with the back of your glove. “No, no. I just got winded suddenly… This path is a lot harder in the winter.”

Bakugou sighed, pulling down his own mask before pushing up his goggles, glancing over you with that brilliant crimson glare that nearly made you flush with embarrassment. “Honestly, I didn’t expect it to be this shitty today. It’s worse than what I read online. But you’re doing good! Don’t tap out already.”

His encouragement was inspiring, but only for a moment, as you were both suddenly assaulted with a new rush of wind. Whining in detest, you put your mask back on, vigorously rubbing your cheeks. “L-Let’s just keep going so we can find a place to camp!”

“The spot is about another half mile away. Get your ass up, babe, you got this!” Standing, Bakugou took hold of your arms, helping you to your feet. Even through the layers of clothes, you could feel how warm his hands were, and you wished so desperately for him to just hug and hold you. You knew that it would come eventually, but not until you got your aching body up the mountain, got the tent set up, and were cuddled in your sleeping bags. Just knowing that was what awaited you at the end of this was enough to spur you forward, and so, you followed him up the hill.

Eventually, you came to a spot in the path that became level, winding around the side of the mountain until the wind was no longer beating down on you. It was still strong enough to be bothersome, but you could tolerate it, especially since the path was now quite pleasant to walk on. You were still too out of breath for conversation, and though Bakugou seemed perfectly fine, he didn’t bother to speak either. The company you shared was comfortable enough to not require constant talking, and it helped that you and your lover were of the quiet type, anyway.

It was a time to be at peace, in nature with the only responsibility is keeping yourselves alive and safe. That, and it was a way to expel all that extra energy that had built up over the previous months. At least, it was for Bakugou, and not so much for yourself. The blonde beside you, now in his late twenties, had quickly become a prominent and famous pro hero after graduating high school. He loved the action, the testing of his skills, continued growth, and challenges that the position gave him. But, with all that enjoyment came the stresses of owning an agency. Politics, media, sidekicks, reputation, rumors, and all that bad stuff weighed heavily on him. He needed to get away, where no one could find him and no one would need him, except you.

Out here in the wilderness is where he found that peace, high up and away from the chaos, - or monotony, depending on the day - that was his life. Why he wouldn’t prefer to take a vacation to a warm tropical island instead of this freezing mountainside, you weren’t sure, and though it was difficult for you to power through, you were glad you came with him.

The sight of your typical camping ground was heavenly, feeling a rush of relief when you finally laid eyes upon it. With the thick cover of still thriving pine trees above it, the ground was only lightly dusted with snow, giving you some hope that camping here for the night wouldn’t be quite so uncomfortable. Bakugou seemed to think the same as he gave a heavy sigh, one that you recognized to be of relief, before he pulled his water canister off his pack to take a swig. Once done, he handed it towards you, and you took a healthy gulp of the cold water.

“This is good,” Bakugou started, taking the canister back from you once you were done. “We won’t have to clear out much.”

“Thank goodness…” You couldn’t contain your tired groan, lifting your goggles for a moment to rub your eyes. “This has all but killed me!”

“And look, you’re still standing, like the badass woman you are,” slipping his hands beneath your hood to caress your neck, Bakugou stroked both of your cheeks with his thumbs while he leaned in for a kiss. You welcomed the affection, heat rushing to your cheeks from his encouragement and warmth of his lips against yours. “Soon we can rest.” Two more soft kisses were shared before he pulled away from you, heading towards the clearing as he shifted his luggage off his back. “I’m ready for some fucking food!”

Smiling, you followed his example, removing your pack and placing it down to dig for your compact snow shovel. “I call dibs on the mashed potatoes!”

“Like hell you do! I’ve had dibs on that since I packed it!”

The next three hours were spent shoveling away snow and ice, setting up the tent, and prepping the entire area to make a comfortable campsite. Since you planned on being here for two nights, you and your lover made extra sure that it was as perfect as it could be to enjoy the solitude. Sure, there was some playing around in between, with a snowball thrown or a slap to the behind as you were bent over your work, but it didn’t hinder your process at all. That was one thing that you loved about Bakugou, how he was so diligent in getting things done, but he left enough room to make the task enjoyable for you both.

Nothing was as satisfying as setting the fire ablaze, watching the sticks and kindling begin to burn with orange embers. That was the final step to begin your time of relaxation in the chilly winter air, to settle around the fire and begin boiling water for your food. It felt like heaven when you could finally sit, the log you had dragged over earlier the equivalent to a luxury leather couch to your sore body. Bag of climbers freeze dried mashed potatoes on your lap, you ate them with eager fervor once properly prepared, feeling like your stomach had been empty for years. Your boyfriend was the same, scarfing down his noodles before they could even have time to cool down.

“Ah, ow, fuck that’s hot-!” Bakugou spoke as he shoved the noodles into his waiting mouth, not bothering to at least blow on them or let the dusk winter air cool them off first. Giggling as you waited for the bite on your spoon to cool, you gave a shake of your head, knowing that anything you say wouldn’t stop him. There was nothing that could get between him and his food, though you figured that you could at least attempt, so that if he disagreed, you could still argue later that you had tried.

“Katsuki, give it a minute! You don’t have to eat it while it’s still hot, let it cool a little. You can always reheat it if it gets too cold.”

“No!” As expected, he glowered at you, protectively holding the bag of noodles closer to his chest, his cheeks stuffed to the brim. “I want them while they’re hot! Shut up and eat your potatoes, since you just had to have them.”

“Hey, I won fair and square. It’s not my fault you suck at rock-paper-scissors, don’t be all grumpy at me.”

Grumbling in his typical grumpy fashion, Bakugou focused on eating his noodles, avoiding looking at you in his defeat. You knew that he wasn’t actually upset with you, and you weren’t with him, so the silence that fell was just as comfortable as it always was. The crackling fire was calming, as was the heat that rolled off the wood in soft waves, and paired with the hot food, it helped to warm you from the belly out. Eventually, you finished all you could stomach to eat, and you happily rested against your lover's side with a heavy yawn.

“So,” You began, watching him scrape every little bit of food out of the noodle pack. “What was the reason for your decision to come out here this time, hm?”

“I just needed a weekend away… Before the parties and shit for the holidays begin. I can’t stand all that fucking nonsense… Especially with what happened last year.”

Your stomach churned at the mere mention of last year's horrible events, and though the two of you had gotten past that by now, those horrible feelings still crept up on you like a million spiders against your skin. Almost a year ago, you had almost lost him, but not to injury or some other tragic event. No, it was another woman, someone who he had been ‘seeing’ before you ever got his attention. Emphases on ‘seeing’, as he had never committed himself to her relationship wise, nor did she ever to him.

No, she decided that she wanted him back all these years later, after he had gotten rich, famous, and successful. So, what does she do? Barges into his agency’s Christmas party, of course, dressed to impress and showing enough skin to make any man blush, no matter if they were taken or not. And Bakugou, at this time, had been with you for just over three years, so he was very securely in the ‘taken’ category.

Did this woman know that? Yes, of course she did. Did that stop her from nearly ruining your relationship? Absolutely not.

With a small sigh, you nuzzled your nose into the warmth of his jacket against his shoulder, keeping yourself squished beside him as close as you could get. “I wish I could have been there… That would have at least made things a little easier to deal with. Maybe I could have even stopped her…”

“That woman was insane. I don’t think anything would have stopped her. I barely could.” Bakugou finished with his noodles, placing his trash and yours in a trash bag he had beside his feet. “I already told you not to beat yourself up about that, none of it was your fault.”

Although you tried to believe him, there was still a sense of guilt that rested on your shoulders when it came to how everything played out. Sick with a cold, you had been stuck at home, resting. You had recently moved into Bakugou’s apartment with him, so being without him that night had been lonely, especially since you knew he was out probably very much enjoying himself. So, you lay in bed and spent your hours moping, sleeping, and fiddling around on your phone as you awaited his return.

It was around midnight when you noticed something trending on social media, and the familiar hashtag that represented Bakugou’s brand immediately made you feel sick to your stomach. Usually, it wouldn’t have, if not for the words ‘scandal’, ‘womanizer’, and ‘cheater’ being so ominously paired with it. As you began to look at the tag, you immediately felt sick to your stomach as you were bombarded with pictures of Bakugou quite passionately kissing this other woman. Of course, at that moment, you couldn’t think rationally. All you could think of was that this was how it all ended, all the passion and love between the two of you being nothing but hot air.

You confronted him the instant he got home, after waiting until nearly three in the morning, sobbing and near hysterical. It was impossible, all his reasonings and proof that it wasn’t as it seemed incomprehensible to your broken heart. In the end, you left his apartment to instead go stay in a hotel, as you had moved far from your family and friends to be with him. Delirious with fever and emotion, you didn’t even let him know where you were staying for three days, and you figured that this would be the end of your relationship.

That is, until you saw the new trending reports of the event, including the woman filing a harassment and assault charge against Bakugou. With it, you saw the video of Bakugou throwing the woman to the floor after she quite literally pounced on him, kissing him feverishly. What had looked like passion in the pictures you had seen was now made obvious to you that it was Bakugou fighting back, only successful in pushing the woman off him once he regained his footing.

At first, you weren’t sure if you could return to him now. You had said such awful things to him, called him horrible names and treated him like he had been the bad guy in this entire endeavor. Would he even want you back after you lost your faith in him so quickly?

To your surprise, there was not an inch of hesitation in him welcoming you back home. Much unlike his usually stern and rough personality, he held and caressed you tightly to him as you cried, soaking in each other's presence and love. All apologies were accepted and forgiveness given, all that was left was for him to fully explain what happened, and he did in explicit detail. This was paired with conversations he had with the police, with other videos that you hadn’t seen before, and all the proof that you would need to see and understand that what happened was nothing but a malicious plot put into place by this other woman.

“She hasn’t admitted this,” he had told you, having not let you out of his arms for a good two hours at this point. “But I know what that bitch was up to. She either wanted to see if I would go back to her, and if I didn’t, then she was going to use my reaction to get money out of me in court. She knew that I would throw her off me, and she could claim I injured her, which is exactly what she’s done with these new bullshit charges.”

You believed him, of course, and did everything you could to support him through the entire grueling process. But there was that unconscious twinge of pain in your chest and the heavy weight of doubt every time the woman claimed that they had been communicating secretly for months prior. With every dirty detail she would give, she would stare at you if you were present, the crocodile tears hiding the malicious intent. It weighed heavily on your confidence, and the more the lies got to you, the more damage it dealt to your relationship.

It had all ended just about two months ago, when the woman finally gave up and all charges were dropped. In the end, she didn’t get a single penny from Bakugou, but his reputation had already been damaged from the bad publicity. His ratings dropped, his stress load doubled, and as a result, he was nearly always grumpy. You could barely get a word out of him, let alone enjoy each other’s company as you always had.

Up until this trip, when you agreed to go with him, you hadn’t seen him smile or get excited about anything. In that smile, that excited kiss you shared, you saw hope that things would finally turn around for the better. A year on shaky ground in a relationship had been horribly taxing on you both, but being here with him and sticking through it told you that, if you were together, you could get through anything.

Right?

“I suppose that… Well… I guess a lot of the trouble afterwards was my fault. How I handled it… I could have been better.” You carefully let your arm hook with his. “I was just… too scared and shocked… to think that we would end like that.”

“I hope that we won’t.”

“Huh?” The morbid and pessimistic comment instantly made your heart sink, sitting up to peer up at him. “What do you mean…? We’re better now, aren’t we?”

Brow furrowed deeply, Bakugou’s gaze was locked on the still crackling fire. That look of intense and blank focus is what you had seen for weeks now, as if he were contemplating something he wanted to say but was worried about the consequences. If he wanted to break up with you, to end it all, why would he drag you out here like this? Was it a last-ditch effort to see if being alone out here in the wilderness could save you?

“Katsuki…?” You couldn’t control the slight waiver in your voice as your worry grew, watching his expression falter for just a moment at the sound. As you waited for his response, you kept your grip tight on the fabric of his jacket sleeve, worried that he would suddenly up and leave you there. Instead, he only sighed, reaching up and rubbing the left side of his face before pushing the hood of his jacket off.

“Be honest with me,” Bakugou finally spoke, clasping his hands together between his knees, elbows resting on his thighs. “You still don’t trust me, do you?”

“What? Of course I trust you; I don’t understand where this is coming from.”

“I’ve seen it… That moment of hesitation when I tell you I’m going anywhere. For a business trip, with my friends, anywhere that you can’t go with me. That fear that something like this will happen again… You still feel that way.”

You turned a bit more to face him, placing your hand gently on his forearm. “Katsuki, that has nothing to do with my trust for you. I trust you completely, I know that what happened wasn’t your fault and you weren’t… You weren’t talking to that girl behind my back.”

Right?

“You say that, [Name], but I can still hear and see it on your face that you doubt me.”

“No, that isn’t true. I don’t doubt you at all, it’s other women out there that I don’t trust.”

I doubt myself. Am I good enough for you? Am I really worth all this trouble after what I put you through? I’m… I’m still putting him through it. I’m still hurting him.

“What type of relationship is that, if you’re going to fret and worry about everything that I go and do, even if it’s not your distrust in me? How can you be happy like that?” Bakugou let out a heavy sigh, reaching up to rub his temple. “How can we be happy like that? Constantly worried that this will happen again, and we won’t make it next time.”

“But we would. If we can stay together through this, then we should be able to tackle anything. Unless…”

Unless you really don’t think I’m strong enough…

Bakugou fell silent, chin resting in his hand, elbow on his thigh, and eyes still watching the fire. There was something new there, a sadness that you hadn’t seen in a very long time. “I wanted to come out here to see if we could find it again… That comfort and that peace that I’ve always felt with you. I figured that out here, where we had our first kiss during the middle of summer, where we were sweating like mad and you made me feel so… good. I had hoped it would come back. While we were distracted, hiking, setting up camp… sure, it felt normal, but now? Fuck, I want it back… I want us back.”

Swallowing the hard lump that had grown in your throat, you clutched onto his arm tightly, hiding your face into the fabric to try and control the urge to cry. “I-I do, too… But I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried to be normal, but… We haven’t healed yet…”

“Then how can we…?”

The silence that fell was deafening, not even the crackling of fire registering in your panicked mind. Was this really going to be the end? Your years of happiness, of love and passion with this man… was it really all for nothing? That first kiss, the tearful moment he first said ‘I love you’, the feeling of being so complete just by holding his hand, the warmth of waking up every morning in his arms. It would all be gone if you both didn’t find a way to recover those things, to remember how you used to be before all this madness, drama, doubts, and insecurities.

To remember how to love each other. To not just say the words without meaning, to bring each other the joy that had been lost, the trust, and the respect. And, out here in the bitter cold, with no distractions, was where he had wanted to find it. But, just like the fire that began to dwindle down to embers before you, what little spark there had been was already dying.

Before you could even think of what to say, Bakugou gave a heavy sigh and stood. He was somehow easily about to get out of what you thought had been a death grip on his clothing, but in reality, your fingers had grown quite numb and you let him slip away. How was this happening? How could you possibly be letting him go so easily? You loved him. He was your everything, and yet, you couldn’t hold onto him. The doubt, in the world and in yourself, and your insecurities were pulling you so far away from him. And he was being pulled the other way, by his stresses, defeat, and internal struggles that you had barely even noticed.

How selfish of you, to be so swallowed up in yourself that you couldn’t see how much he needed you. No, how much you needed to be there for each other. That silence that had started with a simple ‘I’m okay, everything is fine’ was now a massive wall between you, and no matter how loudly you both tried to scream the truth across it, the other just couldn’t hear. How could you climb it, to reach each other and truly be one again? Was it possible, or would it only grow stronger the more you tried?

“Wh… Where are you going?” Was all you could say, watching as he pulled his hood back up over his head. With only a single glance back at you, Bakugou began to leave the campground, the snow crunching beneath his boots.

“It’s getting dark and we didn’t gather firewood for the morning. And I have to take a piss… You should get ready to sleep. If you wait too long to get into the bags, you’ll be too cold.”

After a moment of sitting in silence, you stood, shuffling your way over to the tent. The two of you already had the little heater machine running, as well as battery powered heating pads to warm up your bedding, and yet, sitting alone inside the small tent was lonely and cold. There wasn’t even enough space in there for the two of you to move easily, and you couldn’t help but remember all the goofy moments and accidental rough nudges that led to playful fights and heated sessions.

Craving more warmth, you changed into your fuzzy and comfortable sleeping clothes, before shuffling down into your shared sleeping bag and blankets. The space behind you was so empty, completely void of the warm body that you had grown used to being pressed against your back. You wanted him there, but not just in that moment. No, you wanted him there, always, for as long as fate would allow you to have him. You couldn’t bear the thought of it all ending like this, over a lost connection that you knew could be found again.

But now, as you lay there in the hot comfort, your exhausted body began to take hold of your even more lethargic mind. Without any willingness on your part, you were pulled into the realm of the unconscious, with only the burning feeling of tears sliding down the side of your nose keeping you tethered to reality.

When you woke, you found yourself surrounded by darkness, telling you that it was very late in the night. There wasn’t a single source of light outside of the tent, so there was no equipment, fire, or moonlight to illuminate the camp. Still, there was nothing to be frightened of, as you could hear the deep and heavy breathing behind you, a sound that you were incredibly familiar with. You couldn’t feel him touching you, except for the heel of his foot, which had come to rest in the arch of yours.

Blinking away the tears that had welled up in your eyes, you took a moment to feel around in front of you for your phone, finding it down near your hips inside of the sleeping bag. After checking the time, you found yourself staring longingly at your background picture, which was your favorite out of all the photos and videos you had ever taken with Bakugou. Sleepy and disheveled, he had his lips pressed tenderly against your cheek, holding you close within the cozy plushness of his bed.

Becoming a bit lost in the thoughts of happy memories, you scrolled through your pictures and videos, smiling in one moment and blushing fiercely in another. While scrolling, your thumb accidentally lingered just a bit too long on a video from last summer, and the sound of roaring waves filled the tint. With quick reflexes, you were able to hit the down button on your volume to mute it, falling completely still as you waited to see if Bakugou had woken up from the sound. But, in typical deep sleeper fashion, the blonde was out like a light, still snoring and breathing heavily.

At first, you considered backing out of the video, but the warm tropical beach view had you interested. Making sure the volume was down to just barely audible, you pressed play, snuggling into your blankets as you settled down to watch.

“Katsuki, my love, don’t go too far out! It’s too deep!”

“It’s not too deep, babe, it’s only to my stomach. Oh fuck, something touched me!”

The video jerked as you jumped, a small gasp escaping your lips as Bakugou was suddenly smacked with not only a wave, but quite a few decent sized jumping fish. As one hit him square in the face, you could be heard laughing, filming around your hips for a moment to see if there were any fish in the water around you.

“They aren’t coming up this far. See, you are in too deep!”

“Ugh, fuck them! Ow! Little bitches are biting my toes. Stop laughing at me, [Name]!”

As more fish leapt up out of the water around him, Bakugou made the split decision to forgo protecting himself in favor of trying to snatch one out of the air. A bit too overzealous in his attempts, he lost his footing with another large wave, and he was swept underneath with a loud string of curses--

Right at that moment, you had to pause the video, as Bakugou began to move about behind you. You had the video so quiet that you could barely hear it, so you would be very surprised if you woke him. Though, what was more surprising was how you were suddenly in his embrace, his arm around your torso and legs squeezing in to intertwine with yours. With a heavy, tired sigh, he settled with his head resting against yours, his cheek against your ear. Feeling your face flush, you could only stay completely still, unable to tell if he was even still asleep, as he tended to snatch on to you like this while deep in sleep if he hadn’t been already.

At first, you decided to just soak in his embrace, even if it did make your heart feel unbelievably heavy. The tears that had been resting in your eyes finally escaped, forcing you to sniffle and shift your body back just a bit to press tighter against him. Bakugou only held you tighter, though you nearly jumped out of your skin as he reached up and pressed the play button still showing on your phone screen.

“K-Katsuki--!”

“Shh…” Bakugou hushed you softly, tucking his hand back into place against your chest. Trembling now from a mix of shock, embarrassment, and longing, you fell silent as he requested, watching the video as it continued to play.

After a moment of being gone, Bakugou suddenly popped up out of the water beside you, making you jump and squeal in shock. “Katsuki, don’t scare me! You know the ocean makes me nervous!”

Pushing his wet hair out of his face, Bakugou scoffed, taking a second to adjust his shorts around his hips that had fallen a bit loose during his scuffle with nature. “There isn’t anything out here that’s gonna get you, babe. Except me, maybe.” Snatching onto you, Bakugou pulled you in close, so you held the phone out away from you to catch the two of you sharing a sweet kiss. Bakugou shot a quick glance up at it just before the kiss ended, as if he were making sure that you were both in the shot, which was much more malicious than it seemed at the moment.

As you pulled away, you smiled up at him, completely distracted by managing the phone and his affection. “That’s not true. There’s obviously evil fish.”

“Hm, true.” The sly smirk that crept across his lips was paired with an unseen movement of his arm as he pulled something from his swim shorts pocket, the item hidden under the water and out of your view. “Those fish are little bastards. But one is about to be pretty lucky.”

“Huh?”

What happened next was so quick that it almost made you dizzy, as Bakugou reached behind you, fish in hand. In seconds, the wiggling thing was dropped into the back side of your bikini bottoms, forcing an ungodly scream from your lips--

As the two of you watched the video flip about, Bakugou’s laughter and your squealing filling the tent, you felt the deep rumble of a chuckle against your back. You could feel his lips smirk against your cheek as well, and against your volition, you couldn’t stop your own smile and soft airy giggle.

“That was gold.” Bakugou spoke quietly, his hand moving around to rest against your stomach.

“It was mean. But funny, anyway.”

“I had to get you out of that bikini somehow.”

In the video, you had thrown the phone to land, where it stuck in the sand just perfectly so you could still see the scene without much obstruction. Sure enough, you ripped your bikini bottoms from your body as quick as lightning, struggling to wipe the gross, slimy feeling of fish off your skin.

“Yuck, Katsuki!! Oww, I think its fins scratched me! Gross!”

“Oh, did it? Guess I’ll have to inspect.”

Another squeal left your lips as Bakugou scooped you up, carrying you bridal style back towards land. “You’re not ‘inspecting’ anything after that! You’re lucky we’re on a private beach, I’ve lost my bottoms!”

“You won’t need them.”

“There are better ways to get some booty, Katsuki.” Wrapping your arms around his neck, you leaned up and kissed his cheek roughly, not paying any attention to the phone as you both walked on past it.

“Where’s the fun in that? Besides, it made you smile, and that’s what we came out here for.”

Knowing the rest of the video was nothing but playful banter and about ten, or more, minutes of moaning, you tapped the screen to pause it. The longing for those fun, playful, and comfortable times was incredibly heavy, settling in your chest like your heart had turned to stone. You wanted to be like that again so badly, back to when there wasn’t a single thing between you. At a loss, there was only one thing that you could think of to say, and it slipped from your lips in a trembling quiver.

“I’m sorry.”

Hearing the exact same words come from him in that moment made you turn your head in shock, looking up at him in confusion. Propping himself up on his elbow, Bakugou caressed your cheek softly, stroking your skin with his thumb. “[Name]... I’m sorry.” Even in the nearly nonexistent light, you could see the sincerity in his expression. “I’m sorry that we got to this point… I never wanted us to lose what we had.”

“N-no, Katsuki.” You placed your hand over his, struggling against the burning in your eyes. “I’m sorry. I… I kept trying to ignore it all… All the bad things and feelings, just hoping that it would go away. And because of that, I ended up not seeing how much you were hurting, too… I’m so selfish--” You immediately lost your composure, hiccupping as you struggled to speak. “I-I should have been there more for you… Not doubting you… or myself. Now, I… I feel like at any moment, you’ll slip through my fingers. I don’t want to lose you...!”

Hushing you softly, Bakugou rested his forehead against yours, still stroking your cheek even as it grew wet with tears. “It’s okay… I’m not going anywhere…”

“Y-You mean it?”

“I did a lot of thinking while you were asleep and… just watching you, I came to realize that letting what we have go would be the stupidest fucking thing I would ever do. There is no way in hell that I’m going to let that dumb bitch ruin one of the best things in my life. I love you too fucking much to let that happen.” As he leaned in and caught your lips with his in a soft yet passionate kiss, there was an intense and hot tingling that spread across your skin and all the way down to your toes. Immediately, you found yourself pressing back against him, your free hand coming up to tangle your fingers into his hair. That spark that had been missing, that fire that was so warm with forgiveness and acceptance, was burning beneath your skin and screaming with an absolute need for him.

To kiss you, to hold you, to touch you, and love you as fiercely as he always had before. The heat was already pooling and pulsing between your legs, and before you knew it, the passion had exploded into something unrestrainable. It had been so long since you had this deep and passionate connection with him that you just couldn’t resist, and so you opened yourself to him completely. Your mouth, your body, your soul. Anything that he wanted to touch, you would give it all to him.

Although there were many layers of warm clothing separating your skin, the feeling of his fingers trailing down your neck and across the curve of your chest was already enough to make you shiver. All these layers couldn’t hide the feeling of his cock pressing against your ass, so hard and eager. You were so distracted by the feeling that you barely noticed his hand slip under the hem of your bottom layers, reaching beneath the sweatpants, leggings, and underwear until he was between your legs.

Even against the chill of the tent outside of your sleeping bag, Bakugou’s touch was like fire, the warmth of his touch spreading across your skin with the pleasure of him stroking your clit. His movements were slow and deliberate, rolling and stroking the fleshy button against the rough texture of his fingertips. His hands, so large and rugged, could immediately make you melt, no matter where he decided to touch you, and you couldn’t resist moaning and sighing against the kiss.

“Look at you,” He growled against your lips, that familiar lustful fire burning in his glare. “So wet for me already.”

“You should have expected that, Katsuki-” Your voice hitched as his touch became rougher. “I want you so badly…! Even though we’ve spent every night together… I just miss you so much- ah!” Moaning softly at the feeling of his fingers entering your sex, you placed your hand over his outside of your clothing, pressing with a gentle yet firm touch in a silent plea for more.

Pressing his lips against your cheek, you couldn’t help but feel a bit embarrassed as he watched your expression, working his fingers within you even deeper. “I’ve missed you…” He smirked against your skin, his low voice sending shivers down your spine. “I’ve missed your expressions… That sexy voice and the way you clench around my fingers and my cock. You’re so fucking perfect.” With a slight change in technique, the palm of his hand began to stroke across your clit with each movement of his fingers within you, and the sudden increase in pleasure made your hips begin to move with him. “That’s it… You want to cum on my fingers, baby?”

“I-I want to cum on your dick,” Although you did in fact want to cum already, you wanted to feel him, to be connected to him in a way that no one else could feel. “I want you inside of me, Katsuki! Please fill me up!”

“Is that so?” He nibbled and bit playfully at your neck, the slight sparks of pain only increasing the pleasure, along with his ever-increasing roughness of his fingers inside you. “Beg a little harder.”

Now trying to hold your body back so you wouldn’t cum, you moved your hand to instead clutch onto his arm, breathing and panting heavily. “P-please! I want your dick inside me! Please give it to me, Katsuki! Please give me what I’ve been missing!”

“What have you been missing?”

“You-! Everything about you! I-I, I can’t- oh fuck!” Your voice squeaked with a moan as his fingers reached even deeper within you. “I can’t hold it, Katsuki-- please!”

Right before you lost control, Bakugou removed his fingers from you, leaving your body aching and trembling. “Fine,” He growled into your ear, pushing your bottoms down with little help from your numb fingers. “Just don’t moan too loudly. You’ll cause an avalanche.” After you pulled one leg completely free from your clothing, you allowed him to hold it up and out of the way. His cock having already been set free, you could feel it pressing against your sex, hot and pulsing with anticipation.

You knew that he had been missing you just as much, that the meaningless little quickies here and there meant as little to him as they did to you. No, this was different, a raging need to be one, to pleasure each other and bring that lost connection. How good it felt as he entered you was something you didn’t expect, however, and the instant he was buried as deep as he could within you, you came.

Twitching and constricting against him, Bakugou gave a pleasured groan into your shoulder, lightly bucking his hips to stir your walls and only prolong the pleasure for you. “Ah fucking damn it! You’re so fucking horny, cumming on my dick already. I should punish you for cumming so quickly.”

“Punish me, Katsuki,” Rolling your hips back against him, Bakugou couldn’t resist another hiss into your shoulder, gripping onto your hip tightly. “Fuck me until I can’t stop cumming.” You could already feel the pleasure starting to grow just from your own movements, arching your back to allow him in even deeper. “I’m yours! Please do whatever you want with me!”

“That’s right, [Name],” Bakugou began to rock his hips, thrusting in and out of you at a quick, rough pace. “You’re mine.” As he set his pace, you turned your head more into your pillow, gasping and moaning uncontrollably into the fabric. His cock was heaven as it slid in and out of you, reaching into your depths and not leaving a single inch of you untouched. Over the years, he had learned exactly what you liked to make sure you always had the best experience, cumming over and over again without control.

That’s exactly what he did to you now, melting you into a putty of moaning flesh in his hands. He caressed and squeezed every inch of your skin that he could reach, from your thighs to your hips, your stomach and your breasts, exploring your body and your skin like he had never experienced it before. His grunts and moans into your ear only made it more irresistible, loving the thought that he was so turned on by you that he couldn’t help himself.

By the time his hand came up to wrap around your throat, you were both nearly dripping with sweat, having completely shed all clothing and bedding before switching positions. Now on your back, the slight constricting against your throat made you feel breathless, the pleasure spiking as he only fucked you harder. You knew your eyes were rolled back and the pleasured smile on your face would probably have any bystander think you’re insane, but you didn’t care. It felt so good to be ravaged by him, his strong and muscular frame enough to drive you mad just looking at him. But to be able to touch him, to hold him and have him as yours was a complete and absolute dream, and as you came again, you felt suddenly overwhelmed with all the regret and struggles you had gone through.

Not quite noticing the change in emotion, Bakugou released your neck to rest more against you, digging his fingers into your hair as he kissed you fiercely. It was difficult to restrain the urge to moan against the kiss, but his tongue invading your open mouth was enough to keep you distracted. Wrapping your arms and legs around him tightly, you dug your nails into his skin, gifting him with red marks that matched the rest. The feeling made him growl against your lips, only fucking you harder. “Damn it, you drive me fucking crazy--”

The hitching of his voice told you that he was getting close, and although you had been completely drowned in pleasure at this point, there was still another ball growing tighter in your core. As it grew, so did the emotion, and the tears welling up in your eyes were immediately noticed by the passionate man holding you. Before you could say anything, Bakugou kissed you again, though it was different. It wasn’t filled with a lustful craze like a moment ago. Instead, it was passionate, a soft and loving brushing of lips. The emotion, passion, and love that filled you was too much to bear, and just as your orgasm hit you hard, the tears spilled down along your burning cheeks. Your constricting walls instantly put Bakugou over the edge, his last few thrusts erratic as he filled you to the brim with his cum. It was so incredibly hot against the forgotten chill of the air around you that you couldn’t stop from shivering, holding onto him tighter to try and retain the heat as much as you could.

Even as you both panted, the kiss refused to end, not parting until the need to breathe was impossible to ignore. “Katsuki,” You sighed against his lips, looking up into that fierce crimson gaze that you adored. “I love you. I love you so damn much, I don’t even know how to say it.”

Wiping your tears away gently with his thumbs, Bakugou kissed your sore lips softly. “I don’t know how to say it, either. But I fucking love you, too, you beautiful damn brat. My dumbass,” another soft kiss. “My idiot,” and another. “My baby,” and once more. “My perfect woman.”

Your cheeks somehow grew hotter with each gentle kiss, unable to resist a smile after he finished showering you with affection. “You’re so sweet. I’m the luckiest girl in the world.”

“Nah. I think I’m the luckiest guy. And don’t argue with me about that! It's a fact!” He interrupted you with a rough kiss to your cheek before you could even say anything, making you burst out into giggles and hug him tightly.

“Okay, okay! Don’t attack me.”

“I’ll attack you all I want to. You’re so fucking cute all sweaty and messy, makes me want to just mess you up more.”

“You can mess me up plenty in a little bit. But uhm… I really need to pee.”

“Me too. I bet you can’t even make it to the trees before you run back in here.”

“I’ll do you one better. If I don’t make it, I’ll give you a massage. But if I do, then you have to rub me down. I’m sore!”

“We have to go out naked.”

“Butt ass naked.”

“You’re on, baby. I look forward to that massage.”

#bnha imagines #bnha scenarios #bakugou x reader #bakugou #katsuki bakugou #bnha #boku no hero academia #my hero academia #bnha fanfiction #fanfiction #bnha writing blog #xreader #personal #cutesuki-lemons

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criminalminds4days · 4 years

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Family Matters | Chapter 4: Saying Sorry is a Virtue

Hello my beautiful souls!!

I hope this of you who celebrate Christmas had and amazing time, and those if you who don't had a great Friday!

I had a really chill holiday, and although I was supposed to be home and that didn't happen, I'm still glad I had a good time. I got a watch for Christmas and I'm obsessed!!

Anyway, I also wanted to let you guys know I'll be posting the story on Wattpad, and thanks to @meowiemari I also have a cover. I have attached it below! My wattpad user is @criminalminds4days so feel free to follow and read along!

Anyway, I hope you like this chapter. It's one of my favorites. 💙💙

Warnings: Swearing, sexual references, violence and murder references, public embarrassment, and very bad jokes!

Word Count: 3.6k

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Tag list: @mcntsee @lets-be-gay-for-the-angel @evelyncade @haylaansmi @paulaern @myfandomlife-blog

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(This gif is not mine)

Chapter 4: Saying Sorry is a Virtue

It had been a little over three months since her absolute wrecking of the family retreat. She had managed to get her mom to get past it, and though she had promised to apologize to the rest of her aunts and uncles, she had not gotten around (well, more like she didn't think it was necessary, they probably had already forgotten, and she did actually mean every word she said).

Her team and she had evaded more danger than possible in the last couple of weeks, and she had a feeling today she would not be returning to her bed to sleep. She also had to figure out what she wanted to get Spencer for his birthday. She was so excited to celebrate with him that she wanted to spill her idea of a surprise birthday party to him, but she needed to remain strong. She just hoped he would like it, and that she could find something to give him. She knew him so much better now and had so many things that he would like, but she wanted this gift to be unique, something that reminded him of her. Not that she wanted him thinking about her all the time because that would be weird, but maybe once in a while?

A knock on her door made her get out of her head. She walked to see Tyler Hemingway standing on the other side.

"Can I come in?"

"Why?"

"I just-" He looked at the floor, nervous. "I was just hoping we could talk."

"We can talk right here, what do you want?"

"I just wanted to say I am sorry, for what happened."

"What exactly? That you humiliated me in front of my family, or that your wife called me and my boyfriend liars."

"All of it, I should have known better."

"Yes, you should have." She debated whether to say something else but decided against it. "I honestly don't understand where this is coming from, it was two years ago."

"I know, and I am also sorry it has taken me so long to say anything. I just didn't know how to approach the situation, and what we had was so special, I wish I hadn't ruined it."

She had waited to hear those words for so long that how wrong what she did, didn't occur to her until the damage had been done. Even if her feelings for the man in front of her were not the same as they were two years ago, those words were enough to make her become less hostile towards him. She let Tyler in, forgetting Spencer was waiting for her to pick him up in about twenty minutes.

"Spencer? Why are you late?"

"Because she didn't pick me up like she was supposed to. I assumed she may be running a little late, so I waited and then I called her, but it went straight to voicemail." He responded to Emily.

"That is so not like her, should we be worried?"

"I don't know, but I already am, maybe we should go see if she's home or something."

The elevator doors opened once again as Spencer and Emily were preparing themselves to raid her house in order to find her. She stepped out, a look of immense guilt present as her eyes landed on the brunette. He did not seem upset, more like relieved she was there. Emily dropped her jacket and embraced her, a huge weight lifting off her shoulders after seeing her. When she was released from the woman's hug, she directed her eyes back to him.

"I am so sorry; I was on my way-" before she could explain Aaron Hotchner told them to join the rest of the team at the round table to discuss the next case.

"This one is a bad one," JJ said as she read through the file. "These people are killing families. Not even the children are spared."

"Yeah, and it's only getting worse." Said Penelope as she shared the pictures of the crime scenes. She wished she could concentrate but Spencer kept glancing at her with worry. He knew something wasn't right, but she didn't know how to explain it without sounding like she was digging herself in a bigger hole.

She avoided him on the jet, as she pretended to be asleep and then engaged in a very interesting conversation with JJ about diapers and toddlers. As much as she loved the blonde, she sometimes didn't appreciate learning all these baby facts, it took the wishes to have children away faster than anything else.

She was now in a black SUV, with Spencer in the back seat and Emily driving. She sat in the front seat as they drove towards the hospital. One of the girls had been spared and they were hoping to talk to her about the unsubs.

"So, why were you late this morning?" Emily questioned, "You left Cinderella over there without his carriage."

"Yeah, I know. I am so sorry Spencer."

"It's okay, I just got worried."

"I know, and I am so sorry." She took a deep breath, preparing to explain to them why she had been delayed. "I just got some unexpected company this morning."

"Was it Anna?"

"No, she has been radio silent for these past couple of months, I'm assuming she is building a bulletproof alibi for when she decides to murder me."

"Is there something I should know about?" Emily asked as she stole glances at her.

"Spencer and I went to my family retreat a couple of months ago and when we were there I may or may not have basically told my aunts and uncles to go fuck themselves."

"You explicitly told them to do so." Spencer clarified.

"Why did you do that?"

"Because they all sucked. Emily if you would have been there, you would have done the same." Spencer responded. "But going back to the main topic, who came to your apartment today? Was it your mom?"

"We need to have a conversation about this whole family retreat thing!" The woman behind the steering wheel complained.

"I will tell you all about it tonight." She assured her. "And no, Spence, it wasn't my mom, it was someone a little closer to Anna."

"Her mom?"

"No, Tyler."

There was no response to that, Spencer looked like he didn't know exactly what he was feeling, while Emily seemed like she had returned to watch her favorite show only to find out she missed a whole season, and she had no idea what happened to the storyline she was following.

"Who's Tyler?"

"Anna's husband." She clarified, "he came to apologize for everything, and to say that he didn't think what Anna did was okay."

Reid scoffed, "and you believe him?"

"He seemed very genuine about it."

"Unbelievable."

"I am so lost right now."

"Spencer, are you upset about this?"

"Me? Why should I? It's not like I pretended to be your boyfriend to prevent him from making you feel any worse than he had already, and you ended up right back at where you started."

"Are you implying I slept with him?"

"I never said that."

"Well then what are you saying? Because need I remind you, he is a married man. I would never do something like that." She crossed her arms, becoming defensive of the situation. "He simply wanted to talk, so I listened. It was a conversation, and it's just going to be a dinner. Nothing more."

"Oh, so you're going on a date with him too?"

"It's not a date! Did I not mention he was married?! To another woman!"

"Being with someone else has never stopped him before."

"What is happening right now?" Emily asked, to no one in particular.

"Seriously Spencer?"

"Did I lie?"

"Why are you so worked up about this? It doesn't even concern you."

"I am upset, because even after he told you in front of all your family that he was in love with your cousin and married her, breaking your heart, he says, 'I'm sorry' and suddenly he's back on the top of your priority list." He spits out, his emotions running high.

"This man did what now?" Both looked at Prentiss as if remembering she was there all along.

"I can't believe you just said that! I confided in you."

"And I trusted you."

"It was one day! I forgot to pick you up one day and suddenly I am the worst person on this planet, really?"

"Are you seriously so oblivious to think this is about some stupid ride?"

"Guys,"

"No? Then what is this about? Is this about me making you look bad or something?"

"No, it's about the fact that after all we've been through and the fact that I have done all I can to help you and be there for you I am still less important than Tyler fucking Hemingway."

"Guys,"

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"Guys,"

"It doesn't even matter anymore, enjoy your dinner." He undid his seat belt. "Why didn't you tell me we were here Emily?"

"I have been trying."

"Let's go then." He said as he exited the SUV marching up to the hospital entrance.

"What is his problem?" She asked Emily, still heated by the discussion.

"Well,-"

Before Prentiss could respond she was cut off. "I mean, yes, this guy broke my heart but that doesn't mean I have to hold a grudge forever, right? I might as well move past it, don't you think?"

"If you ask me-"

"And it was one conversation, and we're going out to dinner to finish it, there is nothing wrong with that. I don't know why he got so worked up about it, do you?"

"Yeah-"

"You know what, screw Spencer, if he wants to be a jerk for no fucking reason, let him do it. I am not going to lose sleep over it, nor am I gonna give him explanations. Who the hell does he think he is?"

"I think-"

"Yeah, you're right Emily, when Reid decides to get his shit together he can talk to me, in the meantime, we need to find out who these unsubs are before they hurt anyone else." She undid her seatbelt and opened the door, Emily still sitting there, trying to figure out what the heck had just happened. "Aren't you coming?"

"Yeah, sure." She followed suit and they both entered the hospital. Spencer was speaking to the girl's nurse as they approached, he didn't make any comments, but he also didn't acknowledge her, nor invite her into the conversation as he did to Emily. He was acting professional and doing his job, but his stance and emotions were very clear by the lack of interactions between them unless it was absolutely necessary.

As soon as Emily entered the room to interview the victim, the silence that engulfed them made her heart tighten. Spencer and she had gone past this already, they were friends, there was never a silent moment between them, and now all of that seemed to vanish in the air, all because of her decision to let Tyler Hemingway apologize.

She chose to ignore the situation until further notice. Emily was right, Spencer was being a dramatic prick and she was just gonna give him the time to realize that he was wrong. So when she got to bed, grateful for a bit of peace knowing one of the killers had been identified and was going to be caught soon, the last thing she wanted to do was have a conversation with Emily about the topic this same one had told her to not think about.

"I didn't say to just ignore it. As a matter of fact, I didn't get one sentence out during the whole drive to the hospital."

"That can't be true."

"Oh, but it was. Now I know how Reid felt when Gideon left." She fixed her shirt and continued, "well, regardless, what happened between you and Tyler, and what exactly does Dr. Genius know?"

"Spence knows pretty much everything, it kind of came with the territory." She recounted the story and this time she didn't leave any detail out, well, almost didn't leave any detail out.

Emily learned about Anna and their rivalry, Tyler and him choosing her cousin over her, the only thing she never even brought up was her dad. Only Spencer knew about it and she wanted to keep it that way. She finally landed on the weekend in question and the words she had shared with her cousin. Though that wasn't exactly what Prentiss found worrisome.

"You and Reid kissed?! Like on the lips?!" She screamed.

"Yeah, it was just so they would stop bugging us. It's not even the first time we kissed, so why is it a big deal?"

"Wait, you've kissed him before that day?"

"Yeah, at my cousin's wedding."

"Holy shit! I was not expecting that. My OTP is getting all these moments that will eventually lead to the ship sailing and I didn't even know about them!"

"Have you started talking another language by accident or something? I don't understand anything of what you just said."

"Don't worry about it. On a scale of one to ten, how good of a kisser is he?"

"Eleven." She responded immediately, "but that has nothing to do with this whole situation."

"It definitely does! Now it makes sense, Reid thinks you still have feelings for your ex, and he's jealous. He probably doesn't even know it, and he's probably trying to understand why he is so upset with you. Oh my god, he's jealous!"

"Emily, he's not jealous. Spence and I are not dating, we pretended to be a couple." She explained, thinking the woman hadn't understood her.

"Yeah, I know that, but I also know that any fake dating movie or book has always reached a point where the two main characters become unconsciously aware of their feelings. This is it! THIS IS IT!" She shook her and laughed, then suddenly came to a stop. "Oh my god, I am the best friend. I am definitely the friend that gives some wise advice that makes it click in your brain, let me think," she looked around the room as if inspiration would pop out of the bed. "I got it: get your shit together and marry Spencer." She stood and walked out the door, before fully closing it she spoke again, "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go talk some sense into our little genius. Love you, hope I am invited to the wedding!"

Though after the break in the case they had found themselves relieved and on their way back, the nagging feeling she called Emily Prentiss kept insisting that both doctors were actually in love and that all they needed to do was kiss and become a couple. It was so constant that even when she wasn't around she could hear her echo. Like right then when she was trying to brush her hair and mentally prepare herself for whatever this dinner with Tyler was going to bring. Though she and Spencer had not yelled or continued to argue, there was nothing else left of their friendship, at least that's what it seemed like. It was as if the past months were a dream and they were just back to being coworkers, and that feeling was burning her up inside. She did not realize how important he had become in her life until he wasn't a part of it anymore.

"You look great," Tyler said as she entered the restaurant.

"Thanks, Spence helped me pick out this shirt when we went to the mall a couple of weeks ago. He said blue always looked good on me."

"That's great." The man responded, clearly uncomfortable. "So, I know you had to leave for work the other day, but I was hoping now we could talk more about what happened between us."

"Yes, of course."

She didn't really understand how she had gotten to the point of having an actual conversation with the man sitting across from her, because she had been angry at him for so long, that it never occurred to her as a possibility. He had once again apologized and given her a tale of how he had let his emotions guide him without realizing he could hurt others, and while that didn't excuse his actions, she still accepted his apology, choosing instead to move on from their current limbo. They had quickly changed the conversation, like if two old friends had reconnected after so long. Tyler was a great friend when he wanted to be, he was pleasant company, to say the least.

"And the other day, Spence was trying to learn to play the piano, and I told him there was no way he could learn in a week. So what did he do? He-"

"Stop, just stop!" He interrupted her, and she furrowed her eyebrows confused. "I have been sitting here for an hour listening to you talk about your stupid boyfriend and his IQ of 187." He rubbed his hands through his face and tried to calm down. "Was this the plan all along? You heard me tell you that I wished I hadn't ruined our relationship and decided playing with me was perfect revenge? Accepting dinner only to humiliate me by ignoring me and choosing to talk about that Spencer guy? Is he in on it or something?"

Oh. My. God.

Reid was right, this man was not looking to mend old friendships or start a new chapter, he was looking for a mistress.

"You, are the worst type of jerk I have ever met. I actually believed you wanted to be friends, to turn the page but all you wanted was to get in my pants." She stood, grabbing her drink and spilling it over him. "I hope I never see you again. Go fuck yourself Tyler." She walked, but before she exited the restaurant she returned and gave him a fake smile, "and also, Thank you for humiliating me in front of my family, you showed me how little you were and that I could do so much better. Say, an FBI agent with an IQ of 187." Once again she turned and this time she didn't even bother looking back.

The drive to her apartment was long, mostly because she didn't drive there, but to Spencer Reid's home. She felt her palms sweat, she hated admitting she was wrong, but she hated not having Spencer around much more than a bruised ego. She knocked on the door and Spencer opened, he looked confused, but as soon as he registered her in he simply raised an eyebrow and changed his confused demeanor to a completely neutral.

"I came to tell you that you were right. He just wanted to get in pants." There was no response, and she fiddled with her hands. "I actually thought he wanted to apologize, and I think part of me just wanted to believe that for the first time I was not being used, that people actually cared about what I felt."

"There are people that care about you, they are just not the wants you wanted to."

"No, they are! I thought I needed the people who wronged me to fix it, to show me that I was worth the trouble when in reality all I needed was for me to understand that I was. And I just needed a reminder that the people that care about me are the ones that should matter the most." A trace of a smile formed on his lips. "I am so sorry about how I acted, and I am sorry I left you here waiting for me. Spencer Reid, you are my best friend and you come before any other jerk out there. I need you to know that this time in which I didn't have you with me was miserable. I missed you so much I spent the whole dinner with Tyler talking about you."

"You did?" He seemed genuinely surprised.

"Yeah, I did. I missed you, and I hope we never fight again, I don't know what I would do without your friendship."

"I missed you too." She bit her lip, and he smiled. "Wanna come in and watch TV?"

"I would love that."

"That's good to hear, I am trying to get Spence here to watch Dance Moms with me but he refuses, maybe if there is two of us, he'll change his mind." A voice inside his apartment spoke. He opened the door to reveal Emily Prentiss wearing Pjs with The Hunger Games symbols on them. "May I say, you look hot. Blue suits you."

"So I've been told."

"Are you sure you can handle being in that close all night though? Maybe Spencer can lend you one of his shirts." She said, winking at them.

"Has she been drinking?"

"It's her third bottle of wine."

"We need to cut her off."

"Yeah, we do." He smiled at her, "She's right though, if you want to borrow something more comfortable let me know."

"Careful Spencer Reid, I might take you up on that."

"Awwww, YOU TWO ARE ADORABLE!" The woman screamed. "Just get married already!"

The pair laughed and made their way to the sofa, she closed the door behind her and sat down, feeling whole for the first time this week. Emily and Spencer were the best friends a girl could ask for, and she couldn't think of a better way to spend the rest of her night than watching trash TV with the two of them as they laughed and joked.

It was home.

#spencer x y/n #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid #spencer reid fanfiction #criminal minds #cm

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lovieebby · 4 years

Text

Leave the Light on

Prompts from my Tarot cards

August Walker x Female Reader

Summary: Unbeknownst to her, August wouldn’t walk through the door again. But she still leaves the light on. Just in case.

WC: 700 sumthin?

Warnings: angst big time, a moment of sweet and fragile August— he gets mean for a minute

Note: I had some friends come up w some concepts from my tarot cards and this was one (I’ve got more coming) tbh I forgot what card it was but one of my friends came up w this and I rlly hate myself for it bc now im big sad but man am I loving it. Also I had all the time in the world to get some shit done so here we gooooo!

Leave me some love and tell me what y’all think 💋

She couldn’t understand the stress and dread she was feeling. Everything seemed so out of place.

There was just one box left of his things and it felt heavier than it really was. She wanted to be done, detach from him and his mess of emotions, but all she could think was that what if.

What if he comes back? What if he apologizes? What if he makes it all better?

August tried so hard to be good, and she knew that. She knew of his hardships and the daily war he went through. But alas, everyone has a breaking point.

Before she sat the heavy box in the bed of the truck, ready for donations, she breathed his scent in deep as it wafts out of the small opening. A stray, annoying tear fell from her cheek as she opened the box carefully, acting like something would pop out.

A weak smile graced her lips along with a soft chuckle, the first thing that she’d seen was a neatly folded blazer, the one that he wore quite often, honestly probably one of his favorites.

August had stopped just before the threshold of their new house, a thick brief case in one hand and a tall thermos of coffee. She watched him with a tilt of her head, waiting for him to say something.

But he stood still, slowly turning to face her behind him. His mouth opened and closed quickly, his cheeks flush for a short moment. It almost made her laugh, seeing her loved one get embarrassed over something she couldn’t pin point.

“I…” August fumbled, clearing his throat roughly, “Would you leave the light on?” He spoke brokenly.

“August I—“ She giggled out but cut off by his rushed plea.

“When I come home, I mean. Will you leave the light on for me?”

Once she read the room, it becoming more than just the little tick he had for order, it was a hidden fear, or maybe something more that he wouldn’t talk about. Her giggle ceased suddenly when his face fell. She nodded softly at him and came close to him.

“Of course baby. I’ll always leave it on for you.”

Her sigh was deep as she now realized that keeping the front light on had became a habit.

She had fallen so deep for him, she would do anything for him. Leaving the light on, making sure to only order a special kind of sheets for their bed or even how the fridge was stocked, water on the left and the soda on the right.

When he was finally able to sleep, she would count the smallest freckles on his face. Or when he was showering, there was always an order to how his clothes laid with the towel. It had slowly became her layout too. She knew so much of him that his favorite things had slowly became her favorites.

She parked the truck in the back of the thrift store, watching the back door open and close as employees came in and out with boxes and other donations from people.

Her heart had an erratic beat, but it slowed has it felt heavy. Almost like there was a thousand pound weight in her chest, dragging her heart down at an agonizing pace. She wiped her tears quickly and put the truck in reverse, speeding home.

It felt wrong to give up something so close to her, to give up something that belonged to someone. Even before August left the last time, he had yelled at her to dump them after their fight, yelling and throwing anything near him in nowhere particular.

She wanted to fulfill his wishes, but couldn’t bring herself to rid of it so quickly.

When the moon was high in the deep navy sky, she finally bottled her lonesome feeling and readied herself for sleep. She neared the door one last time for the night, flipping the switch for the light. Just in case.

Because what if he comes back?

Tags: @hell1129-blog @snowbellexx @summersong69 @kaizet @omgkatinka @hinata7346 @thethirstyarchive @mary-ann84 @agniavateira @shaybabbby @oddsnendsfanfics @cavillshmavill @vivodinson @radaofrivia @iloveyouyen @jessevans @pinksdaydream @ollyoxenfrees @woofgocows @captaingothgirl1996 @honeychicanawrites @viking-raider @seb-owns-these-tatas @laufeysodinson @msblkfire84

#august walker x reader #august walker fanfic #august walker fanfiction #august walker angst #august walker x you #august walker drabble #august walker blurb #henry cavill character

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cole-grey-writes · 5 years

Text

Into Dudes

Universe: Marvel Cinematic Universe

Timeline: Pre-Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Character(s): Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Male Reader

Warning(s): none

Request: Hi :D Idk if this is how to request things but do you think you could write a story about Steve just finding out about his feelings for the male reader and is really scared about being gay but still asks him out for a date? That would be awesome.

A/n: my first request!! so sorry it took so long to get out. My finals are coming up in the next week that I have to study for and all my teachers think it’s a good time to start assigning projects every other day. Anyway, thank you to anon, I really enjoyed writing this for you : )

Growing up, Steve always thought there was something wrong with him. He’s always wondered why his gaze lingered on fellas the same way it lingered on dames. It wasn’t until Steve was eighteen that he figured out why.

It was fall of 1936. Steve’s ma had just recently passed away, which left Steve on his own most of the time, if Bucky wasn’t there because Steve shoved him away when he wanted to be left alone. Steve tried to distract himself from the pain and often went to bars in all the wrong parts of town. Steve met a real nice fella one night that seemed to like spoiling him with compliments and as many drinks as he could take. At the end of their night, the guy laid one on him, telling Steve it was a farewell gift before leaving. Steve’s feelings towards other fellas made so much sense as soon as his lips touched Steve’s.

Steve had never feared much in his life, but he wasn’t able to forget the feeling of another man’s lips on his. The memory was stuck with Steve for almost a week, swirling around inside his head. Steve liked kissing fellas a lot. Too much for his time, in fact, so much so that it scared Steve so far back into the closet that he never allowed himself to feel anything for anyone until the 21st century; until you.

“Why don’t you just go talk to him?” Natasha wonders as she sits beside Steve, not looking up from her phone screen. Steve blushes and looks away from where you sit at your desk, writing reports for Director Fury.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Natasha scoffs. “Right,” she says sarcastically, “and I haven’t been watching you make heart eyes at Agent L/n for an hour.”

Steve sighs and goes back to looking at you.

Steve remembers the first time he met you, after the Battle of New York when he came to work for SHIELD, per Natasha’s suggestion. You were sweet, offering him any help he may need around headquarters even if it was just directions in case he got lost or something. Eventually, you and Steve spent lunch together whenever you were both free from missions.

Honestly, Steve never stood a chance.

Steve had discovered his feelings for you only a few weeks prior to his current lunch break with Natasha. He’d come home from a long and exhausting mission with the Avengers in Europe to find you asleep at your desk, drooling all over your papers. The fear of falling for another fella came hurtling back into Steve all over again, and it caused him to start avoiding you. You haven’t spoken to each other since that night.

“If, hypothetically, I did like him,” Steve says cautiously, “how, hypothetically, would I… go about telling him that?”

For once in the last hour, Natasha looks away from her phone. She smiles and sets it facedown on the table. She looks Steve in the eyes and tells him, “Maybe you should think about coming out first.”

Steve sighs immediately and begins picking at his nails. Just the idea of coming out to anyone is so unbelievably terrifying, it gets adrenaline pumping through his body.

Natasha suddenly puts her hand over Steve’s. “I’m not going to force you to come out, no one will, and you shouldn’t feel pressured to,” Natasha lets go of Steve and sits back in her seat, but doesn’t pick up her phone. “It just might be the first step to asking Agent L/n on a date,” she smirks, and then adds, “if that’s really what you want to do,” Steve nods.

“But, you shouldn’t rush it,” Natasha says, suggesting, “Maybe taking some time to prepare yourself would be a good idea,” and then she picks up her phone and is back to swiping left and right on whatever app she’s on.

Steve does end up following Natasha’s advice. He takes some time to ready himself for his confessions, mostly spending the weekend in bed, on his phone, watching as many coming out videos as he possibly can, in between several stress naps, of course. Steve wakes up monday morning finally feeling slightly ready to come out to you (and hopefully manage to get a date with you, but, you know, one step at a time).

Steve waits nervously outside your cubicle, fiddling with the edges of his suit gloves. He’d wanted to do this in his civilian clothes, but he has a mission briefing with his team in thirty minutes that he can’t be late for.

You get off the elevator and make your way over to your cubicle, texting leisurely. You catch Steve’s attention when you get closer, laughing softly at something on your screen before looking up and noticing Steve standing there. You manage a smile, as small and strained as it may be.

“Long time, no see,” you say, muttered for just your and Steve’s ears. “Haven’t seen you around in a while, Captain,” Steve frowns, taken aback by the name.

You almost never call Steve ‘Captain’ like everyone else does because you thought it was rude to only see Steve as Captain America and not Steve Rogers. Steve would know, because you told him yourself. The only time you do call Steve by his title is when you’re around other agents or your superiors. But, when it was just you two, it was always ‘Steve’ or even ‘Steven’ when you reprimand him for stealing your food.

“Hey, Y/n,” Steve greets back, now completely unsure of what he’s about to do.

Steve watches as you settle into your office, sliding into your chair and giving all of your attention to your computer screen as you log in. “Well, what do you want?” your cool tone causes Steve to stutter, which causes you to look over and furrow your brows at him.

“Um,” Steve tries again and fails, “I, uh, wanted to talk to you.”

“Yeah? And what do you wanna talk about?”

Steve’s face flushes with adrenaline. “It’s, um, really hard for me to say…” this grabs your attention and you face him fully. “Well, first, I wanna apologize for avoiding you for two weeks.”

“I get it,” You shrug, playing it cool even though it did really hurt and confuse you, “sometimes people just need some space.”

Steve grumbles. “... still.”

“Apology accepted, then.”

Steve feels better after that, but still stumbles into his next sentence. You give him his time, but it doesn’t stop the curiosity from wondering what’s turned Steve Rogers into a mess of unintelligible mumbles.

Finally, Steve sighs, frustrated, and steps fully into your office. He starts playing with his hands again.

Its surprising, seeing Steve pouting at his feet like this. You’ve always seen either Captain America, the living legend, or Steve Rogers, the little shit from brooklyn that has no problem stealing from your lunch tray. You’ve never seen him so vulnerable before, and it hits you especially hard with him sporting his Cap uniform.

Steve takes a deep breath, and begins stuttering out, “So, uh… I’m sorta, maybe… into…” Steve makes some vague hand gestures and continues, “... dudes…”

“Mmm,” you hum, understanding all of a sudden. You lean forward so your elbows are on the desk, resting your head in your hands, and taking in Steve not for the first time.

He looks incredibly young, with his eyes as big as saucers and his face completely flushed. And it dawns on you that he really is young, barely twenty six when he came out of the ice and not even thirty now. And his eyes are a very blue… You can’t hold back your smile anymore. You say slowly, “That is really amazing, Steve.”

Steve lets out a heavy breath, almost sounding wet. “Really?”

“Really,” you tell him. “And, I am also... really into dudes.”

Steve seems relieved as he asks, “You really are?” and you hum, nodding while still smiling. Steve’s hearts does the little fluttering thing when he hears you confirm it, the same way it did back in ‘36 when that fella gave him his first kiss.

“Um, so,” Steve stutters some more, “I also might… be into.. one particular dude.” You nod, encouraging him to continue. “Yeah,” Steve says, gaining more confidence, “and this particular dude has been real sweet to me ever since I came to work for SHIELD.”

“Oh yeah?” you wonder, feigning innocence while you continue to smile. “And who might this particular dude be, I wonder?” you might already suspect which direction Steve is headed in, but you didn’t want to jump to conclusions and end up being disappointed, even if the chances of that happening at this point are rather low.

“It’s you,” Steve blurts adorably, a hopeful smile ghosting his lips as he looks down at you smiling like a maniac. It’s a huge weight lifted off of steve’s shoulders, saying it out loud. He hadn’t known it would feel this good to let it all out.

It’s your turn to blush, it seems. Your face darkens with blood rushing through your cheeks. You don’t stop smiling.

“And, uh, I was wondering,” Steve wonders optimistically, with a slight bounce in his step as he moves closer to you. “since, you know, we’re both into dudes… if, maybe, you’d like to go on a date with me?”

You giggle. “Well… since we’re both into dudes,” you say coyly, “I would love to go on a date with you, Steve.”

Steve smiles, really proud of himself.

(NOT MY GIF)

Main Blog // Other Side Blog

((NO ONE HAS MY PERMISSION TO REPOST MY WORK ANYWHERE EVEN WITH CREDIT))

#steve rogers x male reader #steve rogers x reader #reader insert #marvel cinematic universe

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oryoucouldstay · 6 years

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One Year Anniversary!

Hello, my dearest and loveliest people! I just realised that today is my 1 Year anniversary with this blog and also in this fandom. You guys seriously made this one of the best years and I want to thank every single one of you for welcoming me into our sweet little ok not so little family. Thanks to this fandom I have found some of the most important people in my life and I am eternally grateful for that. This little follow forever is for every person that touched me in the past year, that made my life memorable and helped me shape myself to the person I am today. (there is no particular order in these)

Special mentions: @reinhartmendes: My beautiful, sweet, amazing, loving, dancing soul sister. I cannot imagine my life without you anymore. You have brought so much life, laughter, adventure and memories into my life. Thank you for always being there, for being one of the most understandable people in my life and for just believing in me. I can’t wait for our adventures together. I can’t wait to spent the most amazing week with you, I can’t wait for #Annie takes Australia 2k20 and I definitely can’t wait for all our travel plans. You are the soul sister I never thought I had, you are the light in my life. I love you, Shards. Thank you for always being yourself with me and for always understanding my weirdness. The Lili to my Mads. @ccshbh: My best friend. My soulmate. My good morning text and my good night text every single day for the past 10 months. I always say this, but it amazes me how we just started talking one day and just never stopped. Thank you for always being there for me no matter what. You have helped me through so many stupid thoughts, anxiety attacks and angered moments, it amazes me how you’re still sticking around. I found a person in you that I never had, someone I can trust completely with no questions asked and I am so incredibly grateful for that. I can’t wait to hug the breath out of you when we meet.

@jugsqueen: The person that actually spent 72 consequtive hours with me and is still.. sticking around? The person that had to listen to my horrible singing in the car, my angry car self for over six hours without an escape and… is still here? Still talks to me and still wants to be friends. I love how our friendship just happened out of pure conicidence and we just met up for a convention after talking maybe 4 times and spending an entire weekend with eachother. I am so grateful to have you as my gossip partner, to have you understand my hate for people and loudness and everything annoying in this world. I wouldn’t want to miss you, Buttercup. I can’t wait to see you again soon, I miss you.

@classicalbughead: My sweetest Bubbles. I will honestly never forget your adorable self. We might not talk that much lately (which we really should change, btw. I miss you, I really truly do.), but you will always have that special place in my heart, of the girl that flailed with me over Cole’s adorable smile when he talked to fans and the girl that just randomly wants to hold my hand. I need that back, honestly. Nobody just holds my hand anymore and I really miss that. You mean so much to me and I will be forever grateful to know that I got to spent such an amazing weekend with an just as amazing girl. Thank you for making RiverCon so special and thank you for being such an amazing friend.

@nuagesdreams: My dearest Caro. The one girl I know that can start a voice message with a super important topic and then rambles of for 10 minutes about the most weirdest things (let’s be real, I’m all here for that. I love it. I could listen to your cute dialect for hours on end.). Seriously though, you’re an amazing friend and I’m so glad I can always come to you for the weirdest things and thoughts.

@sprousehart-x: My little bean. My Rose. My sweet, beautiful angel. Honestly, I don’t know what I would do without you. You always bring a smile to my face, you’re always here to flail with me about Riverdale, Lili, Cole, Sprousehart and, most of all, Five Feet Apart. I can already see us watching that movie and actually dying in our seats after that masterpiece. Thank you for always being there, especially when it’s about weird superstitions I have about certain actors and people. You are truly one of a kind and I love you so much for it.

@paperlesscrown: By far the most talented person when it comes to creativity and wording. I have said this time and time again but you are truly such an incredible writer, reading your stories makes it seem like you’re opening up your soul to let all of us be part of your thoughts and stories. Thank you for letting me flail about how much I love you all the time and thank you for being such an amazing friend. You are one of the most kindheartest (is that a word? It is now) I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting.

@agent-prentiss: KATIE. My beautiful, sexy tattoo sister. You mean so much to me and I am so grateful to call you my friend. You have let me bombared you with Photoshop question at the most random hours, you let me flail to you about our equal love and obsession of the one and only Lili Reinhart and your love and kindness always warms my heart. I wish timezones didn’t hate us so much but you are truly so important to me.

@itsnotoktohit: My sweet, sweet love. We only recently started talking but I feel like we just instantly clicked. You are truly so incredibly supportive of everything I do and talking to you is so incredibly exciting and interesting and I love always hearing what your thoughts are on certain things. I can’t wait to get back to talking to you again because I truly missed it over the time that I was away. I can’t wait to see where this friendship is headed!

@sssassi: My love. My babe. My best friend for ever and always. My future roommate and partner in crime. Thank you for accepting my special snowflake appearance on a daily basis. Thank you for flying to London with me to make one of my biggest dreams in the entire world come true. Thank you for being there for me every single day, for always giving me a hug when we see eachother and for getting weirdness and for just being you. I’m so grateful to have found a person like you in my life, someone who understands me and is always there for me the way you are. My our future be filled with lots of wisdom, money and hopefully some cute boys. I love you so much, Sarah. You mean the world to me.

People that I love seeing my dash, that I love talking to you and overall people I would miss so dearly if they ever left this site. You mean so much to me and even if we never talked, I am so happy to have met you. If there was a way to list all of you all at once without anyone being first or last, I definitely would. There really is no order to this at all, you all mean the world to me. Thank you for being so amazing, always: @bugggghead, @stark, @elizabethjonesiii, @lenaace, @writerjones, @jandjsalmon, @lurker-no-more, @coledemort, @charliemeg, @eventyyr, @i-got-sick-of-it, @i-know-you-can, @jordansconnor, @zor-el-schott, @theladylabyrinth, @a92vm, @miss-lkb, @tory-b, @forsvthes, @ohxdarling, @mothermaple, @forsytheelizabeth, @archie-andrews, @jimalim, @wonderrful, @nessa007, @winonal, @stillscape, @indiebughead, @cooper–jones, @ninelittledevils, @jemmablossom, @raptorlily and @nellie–crain.

And I need to make a special shoutout to my all time favorite fanfiction authors because they are so incredibly talented, all of them could go out there and publish bestseller books. Thank you for gracing our fandom with such talent and beautiful words. I am eternally grateful for you: @writeradamanteve, @paperlesscrown, @lazydaizies, @itsindiansummer13, @crashhale, @bugggghead, @sylwrites and @mogitz .

#my 1 year anniversary #follow forever #personal post #i am so sorry if i missed people #anne's special edits

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funginerd · 7 years

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remember my thanksgiving list? this one is gonna be worse. yes you read right, im attempting this and i hope whoever sees this has a nice day and happy holidays. star tr.ek in more ways than i care to admit has shaped my life so to write paul and get back into the fandom felt like a fresh breeze while simultaneously it felt like coming home and i’m incredibly happy to be here again with such cool and kind folks like you all. basically, because german’s celebrate christmas on the 24th and we open our presents the same evening this might come as a pre-present to some of you but whatever. HAPPY HOLIDAYS, guys, under the cut is a long ass list from me to you to express just how grateful i am for you all to be here. i tried my best to include as many people as i could but of course, i sadly don't have the capacity to find kind words for all of my beauty followers but please be aware - and i might repeat myself but it doesn't make it less true - i love you all and im thankful you’re here with me.

in no particular order bc fuck me that's too much work (also wow jelly told me it was stupid to keep my conversations in tabs but tbh never really closing them really helped me here)

@infiinitepossibilities : im glad we started talking more. before i just knew you as this amazing multimuse writer who had all their muses down perfectly but now im getting to know you as an amazing person as well and that's just incredibly cool

@hcndlehim : adam, my dear boy adam. i love you. through many fandoms and over the course of many blogs we have stayed together and i can honestly say that is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. you’re such a delight to talk to and your writing has such a nice flow, so having you as my friend and writing partner for so long has just ?? made my a lot happier than you know

@culberr / @disciipled : i have time and time again told you i love your writing and i have no idea if oyu think im kidding when i say i show it off but some of my friends can confirm i did actually send stuff to them and i do gush about our amazing writing because i cannot get enough of your style (and oyu bc i lub u). your way of telling things just has such a nice and easy flow that it makes me want to never stop reading your things and we’re lvl 5 friends so when i say i hate how much i love everything you do im not lying. you are amazing and talented and such a nice guy like im still stocked to be able to call you that and not weird you out with that. i just ?? adore you

@stamcts : some people say my aesthetic is on point but they obviously have never seen your blog bc arthur? i love every single post you make. i have seen your ic posts, they’re great and your writing is beyond amazing so ?? let it be known i adore you and im jealous of your skills to dig up cool things on the internet. and ur writing skill, fuck you for that.

@lifedeathpeacewar : leo my boi, my friend,i just cannot tell you how easily i fall in love with people who stan the same people i stan and lets be honest i think you love him more than i do but that's okay bc this way i can focus some of my love on you. im one of the people that say i love duplicates but then only follow two idk why im just that weird but i know you’re doing great with my son and i know you’re doing even better with mark and lets be honest i already know you’re gonna be great with lucas as well bc you’re great with everything that you put your mind to and i envy you for that.

@orbinglight : i tried for your birthday already to express how much i love you but in no language the world has to offer there are enough words to really make it known just how much you really mean to me. im not as poetic as you are when it comes to praising and finding the right way to phrase things for you, so i just have to hope that you know - through all my clumsy attempts of telling you - just how near and dear to my heart you are. at this point you’re truly the person with the most beautiful soul i have ever met online or irl and i just cannot stand the thought of one day maybe not having you anymore because damn you’re gorgeous and amazing and talented and in so many ways the best thing that has happened to me on this blue hellsite

@selflessdoctor : i kinda wanna say see above bc for you too i feel all these things even though i dont always tell them as outright as i list them for artie but you’re important to me, having found you and somehow forced you into talking to me and becoming my friend was one of the best ideas i ever had and ? im so glad you let me - this odd girl you never met before - stick around and harras you. not really you know what i mean but like ?? i love you and i know i don't say that often enough but just let it be known you’re fucking perfect okay.

@turrissomnia : three god damn blog changes and you know what ? i still love you, im still impressed by your TOS knowledge and im still absolutely adoring your portrayals. now its just even more muses you’re nailing its really cool to watch tbh.

@bellicaptivus : i honestly dont understand your fascination with strudel but im here for it and im here for your absolute magnificent portrayal of this boi so stay awesome, stay here with us and ?? don’t change bc i absolutely adore you

@adheretologic : i probably mentioned this before but you were the first disco blog i ever followed, like i think you came before adam and i still very much love seeing you on my dash

@kelpiencomplexities : i wish we knew each other better, i wish i would see your writing but man, i just love you in general idk you just are such a delight, like you introduced yourself with a pun thats always a plus in my book im just ?? very happy to have you around friend you’e really cool

@georgiov : im extremely thankful for your patience, you somehow have managed to explain the basics of SW to me without losing your mind and all that while running an amazing disco blog? you’re and im running out of positive words but like you’re the best and i love you okay

@starxbcrn : you are so iconic its unfair, like look at you having all of this creativity and talent and somehow you always come back to your golden boi, i just ?? cannot not tell you how much you inspire me and how much i love seeing you around without having to use the thesaurus

@astromed : you aesthetic: on point. your mccoy: on point. your writing: unfairly amazing. i’ll be honest i like looking at your posts, i like reading your posts, i like just having you on my dash and from the few interactions we had i know you’re a cute bean. i said it before you got recommended to me by a friend and i cannot ever regret following you

@neverarhyme : call me a nerd but i love you and im very grateful we’ve managed to stick together through me ignoring your messages and you being you for two years already but you’ve somehow become one of my best friends on this website and i don't hate you for it. in fact im time and time again amazed at how oyu handle things, at how developed ver is and how you still manage to surprise me even tho so much time ahas passed.

@theharricr : lizzie, lizzie, lizzie, you are my light sometimes, i just ? i just absolutely love you, no strings attached i love talking to you, i love watching things with you just ?? being able to call you a friend is honestly making me so happy time and time again

@jaylahofussfranklin : you’re one of the people who sometimes pop up and sometimes vanish without a trace and honestly every time you come back to me im very happy about it. like - you’re cool, you’re one of my oldest friends here, probably the only german i want to talk to on this website and idk if i ever told you but your jaylah and your sarah are just fucking perfect.

@friendoftheood : honestly every time we talk you’re just the cutest bean and your grasp on rose is absolutely admirable. i have no idea why you think im worthy of having you follow me but im so grateful to have you around you can’t imagine

@cadetxtilly : you are honestly a bucket of sunshine and your tilly just absolutely makes me happy. she is very on point, she is very adorable and you convey every single aspect of her perfectly. your headcanons and ic posts about her just ?? make it really worth following you

@atomiism : would still 10/10 drop my man for you but real talk? when i rp’ed as ray and saw you and your blog and your writing i was ready to just completely give this boy over to you and what you have done with him since then is magical, i cannot believe someone as talented as you is here and likes me. even after so mayn months im still blown away by having met you, by knowing the face behind the brain that knows all these pretty words and can string them together like damn my darling dear you are perfect in every single way <3

@burnedlegend : you truly are a very special specimen. obv not in a bad way i mean i fucking love you but in a way that you’re so unique even though you’re sometimes a mess i can honestly say im looking forward to seeing you grow and be happy in your life bc already you have a fantastic personality and a kind soul and you’re so refreshing to talk to (when u fucking answer) idk if i have told you lately, probably not bc lets face it i suck as well, but i adore you and i value your friendship and i’ll always be here if you need me. you’re great no matter what anyone says, bc you’re you and i love that man that i have come to know over the course of this year bc he is such a passionate disaster and i wouldn’t want you to stop being you for anything in the world.

@revivedlegend : you’re an absolute dear, you have been there for me in tough times and you’ve given me so many great advice i honestly don't know what i would do without you. i know life is hard and i know people say it gets better but sometimes it doesn’t look that way? listen, you’re perfect and you deserve good things and im absolutely positive that you’ll reach great things, that life will be beautiful for you but until then im here for you and i love you with all of my heart and some that i borrowed from gabe. you are amazingly creative even if you dont see that right know but i have always loved your portrayals, your writing and your devotion to the things you love. christina you’re fantastic, okay. <3

@warsighted : i love you, i hate your penname but i love everything else about you. listen, from the way you approach characters to the way your characterise them and the way you plot and the way you get excited about things. i love all of that. you’re incredible and so nice on top of being stupidly talented. its honestly unfair thank god you’re balancing that out with a weird penname xD

@outlawiism : how can i make this list and not say something nice about you? kinda not an option tbh bc you’re this amazing ball of positivity even when times are rough its just magical to see you on my dash and now that we talk again its just making me want to be the best version of myself so i can spread just as much positivity and make people happy and honestly? all that aside your love and devotion to peter is one of a kind, your writing is flawless and i just hope ?? one day you’re gonna archive your dreams and do the things you want and tbh you deserve cool things happening to you. so knock on wood for that!

@srenity & @courtesn : sorry im throwing you both together like this but liten, i’ve loved your inara before and im incredibly happy you’re back and now seeing the both of you play this otp out is something i hadn’t known i needed bc you’re not just beautifully on point but you’re both carrying the fandom with your fantastic writing its just making me love firefly so much more thanks to you two <3

@snowinabottle : you’re cute, your girl is cute, your blog is cute, your aesthetic is cute idk maybe you noticed, maybe you didn't but im not the best with words i just ? don't know how i should tell you but i like having you around and i like seeing you on my dash and i just like you in general okay? okay

@stellaexlacrima : im always weak for ocs even tho sometimes it takes me a while to get to know them and im sorry we didnt start talking sooner bc now that i know you i cannot believe i was so blind to your genius for so long. honestly? i love you, i loved plotting with you, i loved talking to you and im absolutely positive i will love writing with yoou no matter how slow i am. im absolutely excited for our thread, im excited for orange people and weird caves and wicked plant sutff bc i a excited to let paul have this adventure with anika

@multamusae : you are one of the people on this website who somehow manage to be very productive and as much as it sometimes makes me feel funny very often i look at your blog and im just astonished by the sheer amount of work and effort you put into everything. you are incredible, you’re so cool and your ocs give me all the life, i originally followed you for your mycroft and im still here it feels like years have passed and you’re still this amazingly talented writer from so long ago please don't ever change in that way.

@childzerozeronine : we don’t talk often enough and that is partially my fault and partially yours but let it be known im very happy that we did eventually started talking after so long of just loving artie together. nine is one of the best stranger thangs ocs i have ever seen and we both know for a while you couldn't look anywhere without them but she is amazing and i love her and i love you and im sorry im not the best chat partner

@derbefehl : we honestly have never talked but i feel very much drawn towards you for you have shown a great taste in muse, a great taste in ivan and you’re just all around ? really cool to have on my dash? i really like your writing like damn that's some good stuff you have right there

@chosemypain : i know we never talked but jelly is really loving your portrayal and honestly that’s good enough for me, you have shown great taste in show and muse and im all here for your brilliance tbh

@espressovixen / @brokenspy : vicky my dear, im sorry im not on jayne so it might be confusing but it is i, your local disappointment: dottie. can i just take a moment and tell you: you’re probably one of my favourite writers? like idk if you can tell but i have seen so many people, i’ve seen so many different writings styles and yours is just ? outstanding to me. your love and passion for your girls is magical, your personality is so sweet and kind and i ? cannot believe how lucky i am to call you a friend, i’ve literally been in love with your writing like four blogs ago already.

@fasciinating : you are probably one of the first spocks i EVER found and honestly i can’t believe i got so lucky that you follow me back, i swear whenever i see you on my dash im just blown away by your talent and portrayal

@methodcop : over different blogs and fandoms neither of us is in im very glad we seem to keep finding each other over and over again. you truly are one of these people that you just ?? don't feel right not having on the dash, skye you’re amazing and i love you okay? okay

@rendczvous : fish, im sorry you’re last on this list and i wasn’t sure if i should even say something but honestly i just kind of have to. you are so cute and jelly loves you so much i sorta have to be thankful that you put up with her when im not around and honestly that in itself is a feat already but then you write and its just like woah you’re not just cute but also talented and honestly i find that unfair and i would like to file a complaint

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST EVEN MORE AMAZINGLY BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE AND I LOVE YOU ALL EVEN THO WE NEVER TALKED THE AMOUNT OF TALENT ON THIS LIST IS OVERWHELMING TURNING CAPSLOCK OFF IS IMPOSSIBLE BC I FEEL VERY STRONGLY ABOUT THIS:

@newaldera / @sunworn / @noprodigalson (ur a cutie and i feel like i had to mention that here) / @selfsaving / @stellarumwomen / @monstrousmade / @resistancehistorian / @astradie / @chpls / @seeheroic / @livesinnarrative / @hopefired / @danversiism / @dancerdoc / @acepilct / @starshipxcaptain / @starfleets1stmutineer / @pcrsonae / @spacemarincr / @saevio / @starjourney / @theholisticdetective / @paramounticebound / @ichorcrowncd / @abscntee / @boywonderish & @needanswers (im convinced you two are just the real deal and the hsow never ended like you two really are that good) / @boldlylogical / @aprettygooddetective / @amcrist / @enhanc / @mysticwiitch / @coneyislandcastaway / @daredbetter / @atlantisking / @164 / @zooomies / @xenobridge / @thistimefeelsnew / @chaxswalking / @hisgenius / @verycivilofyou / @five-guns-days / @interstel / @superiorambition / @thedestrcyer / @astrcphobia / @admiralsdontfly / @addsalsa / @sempitern / @heroheart / @thexjoinedxsurgeon / @xaedificare / @quietresistance / @falsepsychiic / @gcdlikc / @makeshistory / @positronicminds / @honoredsouls / @zherka / @samenkomen / @spaceforkirk / @definiibus / @captainussdiscovery / @mavxricks <3 / @ofstarrynights / @1stofficerspock / @humanandvulcan / @nxtasidekick / @dutyandcompassion

wow. ehm happy holidays guys and im so sorry if i have missed anyone i truly tired my best.

#&「 sᴘᴀᴄᴇ ɪɴ ɢᴀʏs 」. ( ooc )#(the gigantic holidays bias list nobody asked for)

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