THE FOLLOWING IS AN OFFICIAL BROADCAST OF YOGLABS CORP. PRODUCTIONS.
Parasitic infestation.
FAN CONTENT / IN-RP LORE.
Inspired by Forge Lab’s Parasites modpack. (video inspiration x)
Showcasing: Scape and Run: Parasites.
(Tws: Violence, guns and weapons, gore, major character death, general discussion of apocalyptic scenarios, infestations, parasites, and alien/insect-like creatures, as well as unreality. Links to mobs will contain body horror and gore imagery. Other links are references to past characters, quotes, music and other fun bits. Please send a direct message or an anon through the inbox if you need additional tags!)
Playing (Gay_Activity_Richardson.mp3) … (30s).
XEPHOS: Lets see if I can get this thing working.
Xephos is leading a pig to the treadmill of a shell constructor. After some difficulty, it climbs onto the treadmill and begins to run.
XEPHOS: Dammit- there. There. There you are.
Slowly, Honeydew forms from the white mesh generated by the pig’s movement.
The chamber opens. The sounds of steam and machinery shifting fill the break room as Honeydew climbs out.
XEPHOS: It’s been a while, hasn’t it. We haven’t made one of you for ages. (muttering) Hopefully you aren’t a defect. Ah…?
HONEYDEW: Hello!
XEPHOS: Hello, Honeydew, and welcome… to Yoglabs. How are you doing, then? You feel alright? You feel… ah, stable? Not like your molecules could, you know, rip apart at any second?
HONEYDEW: I’m good! I'm good, yeah.
Xephos claps his hands together.
XEPHOS: Perfect! Well, I don’t mean to alarm you, Honeydew, but… ah, what are you doing?
HONEYDEW: Is the coffee machine working yet? Has it got any snacks in, as well, or?
XEPHOS: Um- well- Careful, The coffee machine is- (sputtering)- Honeydew, I wouldn’t-
Honeydew approaches the coffee machine and presses the ‘dispense’ button on the hopper.
[Spawning (srparasites:rupter)(srparasites:rupter)(srparasites:rupter)]
HONEYDEW: What the fuck!
XEPHOS: Oh shh-sugar… Hang on! Hang on.
Xephos equips a flamethrower from his inventory and aims it at the Rupters.
HONEYDEW: Oh my god! Oh my god! They’re like, spiders or- what are those things-?! Jesus-!
XEPHOS: Honeydew, get out of the way!
Xephos shoots his flamethrower at the swarm, incinerating them.
Xephos unequips the flamethrower.
XEPHOS: Ugh. This is a mess. When has that coffee machine ever worked?
HONEYDEW: (laughing nervously) I figured it wouldn’t, but I wasn’t expecting Satan’s headlice to come out of it!
XEPHOS: We have a bit of an… infestation. It’s localized to the coffee machine, at the moment.
HONEYDEW: Well, that’s good, then. It’s fine, as long as nobody actually uses the coffee machine.
XEPHOS: Right. Except… (sucks in air through teeth) well, there is the rest of the world, that is, infected, as well.
HONEYDEW: Oh.
The HEROES are silent for 20 seconds.
HONEYDEW: Well, it could be worse.
XEPHOS: Ahm…
HONEYDEW: No, it really couldn’t, could it? (laughs) Fuck! That’s really bad, actually. That’s quite bad.
XEPHOS: Ah, well- Hold on.
Xephos equips a diamond sword from his inventory and slays the pig that had been running on the treadmill. Grey spirals swirl in the air around it.
HONEYDEW: Jesus.
XEPHOS: It was infected.
Xephos turns to Honeydew. He motions for Honeydew to follow him, and walks out into the main corridor.
XEPHOS: We have it under control at Yoglabs. But it is actually quite the problem, so, we’re… helping!
HONEYDEW: Aren't we the bad guys, though?
XEPHOS: Uhm…
HONEYDEW: Isn’t that what you said, before? That Yoglabs was an evil corporation or- something?
XEPHOS: I mean… we are a… little bit evil. But we’ve, ah…
HONEYDEW: We’ve turned a new leaf, haven’t we?
XEPHOS: Right, we have!
HONEYDEW: Do we have lawyers at Yoglabs? They must make a bloody fortune.
XEPHOS: Ha! They would, wouldn’t they? But no, we don’t really need them. We, uhm. We’re- we’re definitely not using any of Yoglabs tech to take Yoglabs off of the map and erase the memories from any government agents looking for us. Uhm.
HONEYDEW: Uhm. Right. Ah…
Xephos laughs.
XEPHOS: Anyways, we’re going to be taking a look at more of those parasites today. We might even be able to take the front lines, and-
HONEYDEW: You mean outside?
XEPHOS: I do! Isn’t that exciting?
HONEYDEW: Oh, please, can we go? I hear that outside air these days is just delicious.
XEPHOS: Well, it’s not… exactly, great out there. It’s like I said before, it was ravaged by war, and uh, monsters. And now, it’s been taken over by parasites. So, not great.
HONEYDEW: Oh.
XEPHOS: There are a lot of new weapons that you’ll get to try today, though.
HONEYDEW: Alright, I’m in.
Xephos approaches an empty testing chamber.
XEPHOS: For the love of god, do not touch anything, Honeydew. Not without my authoritization. If any of these got out, and we were unprepared...
HONEYDEW: Oh my god!
The room is full of glass chambers. Each one holds an increasingly large and horrifying creature. Dozens of eyes flicker towards the HEROES, and the room fills with the sounds of hissing and squelching.
XEPHOS: …It would be a bloody disaster. Worse than the teletubbies, even.
HONEYDEW: I think I’m gonna be sick.
XEPHOS: Just, take a moment and calm down. If you can’t handle these things now, then you can’t come outside with me.
Honeydew straightens his back.
HONEYDEW: I’m fine! I’m fine. Just a little… (gag), I had one too many Jaffa Cakes at tea time, that’s all.
XEPHOS: This is just a very small portion of all of the different creatures we’ve discovered. Unfortunately, we’re not able to contain all of them safely, at the moment. (Sigh) Some of them are just too big, or would be too dangerous to bring in. That’s one of the reasons we’re going to pop outside and take a look ourselves, later.
So, the infestation works in stages.
Xephos equips a book from his inventory and hands it to Honeydew. Upon opening it, Honeydew grimaces. The book is dozens of pages long, and each page is full of numbers and statistics relating to the Phases system included in Scape and Run: Parasites.
Xephos retrieves his own copy and flips through it.
XEPHOS: Different things can happen in each stage, but, basically, depending on how many ‘points’ the parasites in the world can get, the more they’ll sort of, change, upgrade, and multiply, until the world is completely overrun with them.
As Xephos continues to talk, Honeydew spies a hole in the wall labeled “INCINERATOR: PLEASE DISPOSE OF PARASITICAL ENTITIES AND THEIR WASTE PRODUCTS ONLY.”
XEPHOS: In the first stage, the only parasites in the world are these, grub-looking things.
Honeydew throws the book into the incinerator, then returns to Xephos’ side.
HONEYDEW: Aw, it’s a little babby! Wait- no, this thing is…
XEPHOS: It’s kind of a babby, yeah. It's the first stage. They don’t attack or anything. Really, they just sort of, run away. Here. I’ll let it out.
Xephos breaks the glass, and the newly spawned Buglin runs into the corner of the room. Xephos equips a crossbow and kills it in a single hit.
XEPHOS: The thing is, you have to kill these things rather quickly? Because they can evolve, you see. And after a while, they’ll turn into-
Xephos walks over to a container with even bigger monsters, all crawling against the glass in a futile attempt to escape.
HONEYDEW: Oh, these are the things that were in the coffee machine!
XEPHOS: Exactly. See, they didn’t start as these buggers. It started as those little grubs, and they got left unchecked, and they started to evolve, like this. These things attack in groups. By the way, did you notice that we’ve both been inflicted with the Call of the Hive effect?
HONEYDEW: We have? I don’t feel any different.
XEPHOS: You shouldn’t. You see, when these parasites make contact with any living creature, it gives them this effect. For us, it’s not really a problem, unless we become seriously infected, or die. As for everything else, they’ll end up becoming, sort of, assimilated into the parasitic hivemind.
HONEYDEW: It’s like that movie with Kurt Russell in… The Thing.
XEPHOS: Yes, it’s a lot like that, actually.
HONEYDEW: "If It Takes Us Over, Then It Has No More Enemies, Nobody Left To Kill It. And Then It's Won."
XEPHOS: Right. But we won’t let that happen.
HONEYDEW: Yeah!
XEPHOS: Anyhow, after the Rupter- that thing in the cage- gets about 40 kills, it will continue to evolve. The Manglers are one of many parasites that can actually adapt to sources of damage.
HONEYDEW: Manglers, is that what they’re called. Not exactly…
XEPHOS: It’s not a nice name, is it?
HONEYDEW: It’s fitting though, jesus.
The Mangler shrieks.
Honeydew shudders.
XEPHOS: So, you understand the evolution system and the adaptation system, correct?
HONEYDEW: Yeah, I think so.
XEPHOS: And you read that book, so, you understand how the phases work?
HONEYDEW: Um… yeah, I did. But uhm… just to be safe, why don’t you explain it to me again anyways?
XEPHOS: (sigh) Well, it’s quite… complicated. Basically, the more points that the parasites get, they evolve, and the world progresses in Phases. We start at Phase 0, yeah? And it exponentially escalates all the way to Phase 7. By then, the Reinforcement system comes in, and Parasites are able to create their own habitats and biomes using beckons. They just get nastier and stronger and can have special abilities, as well.
HONEYDEW: And what phase is the world in, currently?
XEPHOS: Uhm… well, actually, we can use the Bloody Clock to track it. Here, take a look.
Xephos tosses the bloody clock at Honeydew, and misses. Honeydew scrambles to pick it up.
XEPHOS: Oh, fuck.
HONEYDEW: It’s fine! It’s fine. Uhm… right, so, it says ‘Phase 0’, that’s good, right?
XEPHOS: That’s very good.
HONEYDEW: But I thought you said the world was… completely taken over. Shouldn't it at least be a little bit higher?
XEPHOS: Uhm… (nervous laughter) Well, you must’ve broken it, then It must be broken. Because really, we should be at Phase 7 about now. The entire world has just become this, awful, just- awful, parasitic biome.
HONEYDEW: Oi! You’re the one that dropped it!
XEPHOS: Oh, right. Well… it’s fine. I already knew what phase we were at anyways, so, it’s no big. There’s another thing I wanted to show you, before we get into, you know, the armor and everything. Come with me.
The HEROES leave the testing room. An armed testificate passes them and walks into the chamber. Squelching and gunshots can be heard.
HONEYDEW: Is he alright in there?
XEPHOS: Oh, definitely. Don’t worry about it. Anyways, I wanted to show this to you as a sort of… cautionary tale. You see, COTH can spread quite quickly, so you have to be careful, alright? In here.
The HEROES walk for a long time, passing the Med-bay and entering the cloning bay.
HONEYDEW: So, how long did it take for the parasites to take over the world?
XEPHOS: Oh, just a few weeks, really.
HONEYDEW: A few weeks!? How did I not notice?
XEPHOS: Well you’ve, uhm, been on holiday, remember?
HONEYDEW: Oh, right.
XEPHOS: Was it nice, there? At the sort of… beach, you were at?
HONEYDEW: It was, actually. It was quite nice. I had… lots of piña coladas, did some skinny dipping in the ocean…
XEPHOS: Oh. Uhm.
HONEYDEW: It was quite nice!
XEPHOS: Yeah, those holosuites… quite easy to, get stuck in.
HONEYDEW: Once you go in, you never want to leave!
XEPHOS: You can live in whatever reality you want.
HONEYDEW: Yeah!
XEPHOS: Where all of your friends are alive and they like you and you aren’t the head of an evil megacorporation at war with the government.
HONEYDEW: Uhm… yeah… right.
XEPHOS: And infinite jaffas.
HONEYDEW: Okay, I'm back on, infinite jaffas! And lots of holes.
XEPHOS: Oh, yes, hole-topia. You’d like that, wouldn’t you?
HONEYDEW: Ooh, saucy!
XEPHOS: Al..right, we’re here.
The HEROES stand above a Secure Containment Cell.
HONEYDEW: Oh my God, is that Lalnable Hector?
XEPHOS: Uhm- well-
HONEYDEW: He’s looking quite worse for wear, nowadays, isn’t he?
XEPHOS: If you would listen to me, you’d know that this isn’t Lalnable Hector.
HONEYDEW: Oh, really?
XEPHOS: Yeah. Lalnable escaped ages ago.
HONEYDEW: What!?
XEPHOS: Right. It’s totally under control.
HONEYDEW: Who is it then? Is it Lalna?
XEPHOS: It’s a… clone of him, alright.
LALNA: Honeydew, you have to get me the hell out of here!
HONEYDEW: Oh, dear. What happened to him?
LALNA: I don’t know what he told you, but you can’t listen to him, Honeydew! Xephos is- he’s evil, Honeydew! He’s a bloody terrorist! He wants to take over the world!
XEPHOS: He was… unfortunately, infected. Little does he know, he’s more parasite than human, now.
HONEYDEW: No! Oh my god, Lalna!
XEPHOS: He may try to manipulate you, in order to spread more of the infection. Just stay close to me, would you?
Lalna bangs on the glass.
LALNA: He’s lying, god damn it! Let me out! Let me out!
HONEYDEW: What do we do?
XEPHOS: Well, luckily, the COTH hasn’t spread to his other clones. So all we need to do is kill him, and then, well, he won’t even remember ever being infected at all.
LALNA: WHAT!?
XEPHOS: That’s right! We’re going to fix you, Lalna, and take all of those little parasites and traitorous thoughts right out of your brain!
LALNA: But you don’t understand- I’m not infected with anything! I was working at Hole Diggers Inc, and the place got swarmed!
XEPHOS: Right, with parasites-
LALNA: With your army, Xephos! And they took me here and- put me in this box and gave me this awful coffee and-! Honeydew, you have to believe me!
HONEYDEW: God, this is horrible. Horrible! This is an absolute nightmare!
XEPHOS: I know. I’m sorry you have to see this, Honeydew. It’s quite sad. You know, on the bright side, this should take care of your flux infection too, Lalna! Since we have to replace you with one of the Honeydew Inc. clones. You’re welcome!
HONEYDEW: Can we just get it over with and move on?
XEPHOS: Yep.
Xephos nods at a nearby guard, who’s armed with a M249 light machine gun.
LALNA: Xephos, I swear, I won’t tell anybody else if you just-
XEPHOS: Too late. Alright, say ‘bye Lalna!’
LALNA: Xephos please!
HONEYDEW: Bye Lal-
Gunshots.
[LividCoffee succumed to the infection]
[spawning (srparasites:sim_adventurer)].
Squelching. More gunshots. Alien shrieking.
XEPHOS: I told you he was infected.
HONEYDEW: Oh my God! That was horrible!
XEPHOS: It’s alright, Honeydew. Now that that problem is sorted, let’s go to the armory and suit up.
(Part ½)
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Flower Crowns [Xephna]
Title: Flower Crowns
Pairing: Xephos and Lalna [Xephna]
Rating: General
Genre: Fluff
Words: 978
Warnings: None!
A/N: Consider this an early Crimbus present. *Please don’t reblog to kin/rp/introject blogs!* Also, this takes place pre-relationship during Moonquest :] (Crossposted on ao3)
Lalna had been puzzled when he returned from mining and Xephos hadn’t been in Baked Bean Fort. Considering the man was a workaholic who practically never left his work station, Lalna had reason to be slightly confused.
He’d immediately pulled out his communicator and turned on the mic. “Xeph’? You here? I just got back.”
It only took a few moments for Xephos to answer.
“Yes! I’m sorry, friend, I didn’t expect you to be back yet. I’m by the edge of that nice forested area, where we found the sheep, do you remember?”
Lalna nodded to himself. “Yeah, I think so. I’ll be there in just a second.”
Technically, it ended up taking him more than just a minute to get to Xephos. He panted slightly as he arrived, missing his flying armor. Even a faulty flying ring would be better than this, he thought grumpily.
When Lalna approached he found Xephos surrounded by wildflowers, sitting cross legged and weaving them together. He brightened as Lalna approached.
“Lalna! How was it?”
“Good, got some more aluminum,” he hummed, emphasizing the last word. “Would’ve been better if Honeydew hadn’t decided to faff around the whole time.” He complained, only half-serious.
Xephos sighed. “Is he still down there?”
“Yeah, he wanted to stay down there a bit longer. I think he said he’ll be back by morning.”
Xephos nodded contemplatively. “Alright. I suppose he’ll do better by himself when he doesn’t have anyone to fool around with.”
Lalna nodded in agreement, and observed closer what Xephos was doing. The wildflowers surrounding him were in sorted piles, and atop his head was a flower crown. Another was in his hand, apparently still in the process of being made.
“Flower crowns?” Lalna asked, raising an eyebrow in amusement.
Xephos nodded and averted his eyes, his cheeks glowing with embarrassment. “Yes, Honeydew taught me how to make them a while back. I didn’t realize I’d been out here so long, we can go back in and get started working-“
Lalna interrupted him. “No, no! It’s okay, I don’t care. Honeydew’s not here to berate us, let’s embrace it.” He grinned crookedly.
Xephos snorted slightly at that. Lalna crouched down next to Xephos, inspecting the one on his head. It was blue and white, made out of forget-me-nots and daisies. A few sprigs of baby’s breath had been delicately intertwined into the main chain.
“They look really nice,” he complimented.
Xephos brightened. “Thank you! I could teach you how to make them, if you’d like,” he offered.
Lalna shrugged. “Sure. Whatever to not have to go work on that bloody rocket,” he grumbled. Xephos laughed again and Lalna felt himself grin at the sound.
Xephos hummed and studied Lalna for a moment. “Now your eyes are that lovely blue-green color, so we ought to choose flowers with colors that make them pop,” He said decisively, rising to his feet and beginning to hunt for flora.
Lalna startled. “You- you think my eyes are lovely?”
“Of course I do, why wouldn’t I?” Xephos replied matter-of-factly, not even looking up. Lalna felt his cheeks heat up.
“Oh, er, thanks,” he rubbed the back of his neck bashfully.
Xephos continued on rambling cheerfully, climbing his way through the wildflowers. “Now, see, we need ones that are the opposite of green and blue. What’s the opposite of green?”
“Uh, purple?”
“Right, yes, what flowers are purple…” He trailed off.
Lalna watched Xephos quickly pick out the flowers. He returned with an armful of different flowers, still babbling to himself. “…And we also want ones that have longer stems, they’re easier to weave, as well.”
He sat back down next to Lalna. “Okay, so I chose daisies, because they usually work well, and I found these purple ones, as well. I’m not sure what they’re called, but-“
“Cosmos,” Lalna interrupted. “Those are called cosmos.”
“Cosmos! Cosmos, cosmos,” Xephos repeated to himself in that way that meant he was trying very hard to learn a new Minecraftian word.
“So, daisies, cosmos, and then baby’s breath. They’re nice for detailing. Now to weave them together…” Xephos began demonstrating the process, his thin fingers nimbly wrapping the stems around the others and creating a chain faster than Lalna could have imagined. Lalna picked up a few flowers and began clumsily trying to mimic the motion, but found himself more so enamored by Xephos’ air of quiet concentration. The gentle purse of the man’s lips and knitting of his brow was familiar, but less stressed than usual.
It only took a few minutes and Xephos had finished the chain, expertly tying it off and smiling satisfactorily.
“There! Simple enough,” he beamed, presenting the finished crown for Lalna to look at.
Lalna looked down at the mess of crumpled stems in his hands. “Er, yeah. Maybe you could go slower next time? I didn’t quite catch what you were doing,” he said.
Xephos flushed with embarrassment. “Oh, right. Sorry, I guess I got distracted.” He admitted.
“Well, no matter- here.” Xephos smiled and gently placed the crown on Lalna’s head. His hand brushed a piece of Lalna’s hair out of his eyes and Lalna felt his cheeks heat up again. They stared at each other for a moment. Xephos’ eyes were glowing brightly with delight. Lalna’s face burned further still.
“Thanks, Xeph’,” he finally managed to say, hoping the flush on his cheeks wasn’t as obvious as it felt.
Xephos beamed. “Of course, friend. Would you like to try again? I’ll help you step by step this time.”
Lalna nodded and relaxed his shoulders. “Sure.”
Xephos began making another chain, talking as he went through each step. But Lalna found himself unable to concentrate on the instructions no matter how he tried. He sighed, finally relaxed and rested his chin on his hand.
“Xephos?”
“Yes, Lalna?”
“I think your eyes are lovely too.”
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