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hopelikethemoon · 4 years

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his family (Javier x Reader)

Title: His Family Rating: PG-13 Length: 3,000 Warnings: Angst w/ Fluff Notes: Surprise! This chapter is from Javi’s POV. Click this to check out the timeline for Maybe Today, Maybe Forever. Summary: Josie is born. Tag List: @grapemama @seawhisperer @huliabitch @pedropascalito @rogrsnbarnes@thewallpapergoesorido @twomoonstwosuns @gooddaykate @livasaurasrex @ham4arrow@hiscyarika @plexflexico @readsalot73 @hdlynn @lokiaddicted @randomness501@fioccodineveautunnale @roxypeanut @just-add-butter

He wanted to call Steve.

He wanted to call his father.

The phone was right there. Screaming at him. Mocking him.

With each methodic tick of the clock on the wall above the door, he felt like the room was closing in on him.

Javier rested his elbows against his thighs as he leaned forward, rubbing the back of his neck as he stared at a scuff mark on the linoleum floor.

It had been two hours since the nurse had ushered him out of her room. Two hours since the door shut behind him and he was sent to wait in a waiting room meant for friends and extended family members. Two hours of watching grandparents waiting for their grandchildren to be born, friends waiting to see their new godchildren. He was the only father anxiously waiting to meet his child.

It was bullshit. He’d had half a year to prepare for this moment but it hurt like a son of a bitch. More than he’d expected. He should’ve been in there with her. Holding her hand, kissing her brow. But instead, he was alone.

So was she.

He just wanted to call someone — anyone. He wanted to vent, to yell, to point every fucking injustice he’d suffered during this whole goddamn process.

So he paced instead. Up and down the hall until a nurse snapped at him to go wait in the waiting room.

What if he called Steve?

“Hey man, hope Miami’s treating you like shit. Why the fuck did you have to leave? If you hadn’t fucking left, none of this would be happening.”

But he couldn’t even humor a world where he wasn’t about to become a father. She wasn’t even born yet, but that little girl and her mother were his whole goddamn life. He’d suffer it all again, just to end up right there in that waiting room.

Javier scrubbed his hands over his face, sighing heavily. He wanted a fucking cigarette. He hadn’t touched them in months, thanks to her, but he needed one. Just one.

He bummed one off one of the grandfathers sitting in the waiting room. He seemed thrilled to offer Javier something to get him to stop pacing around the small room.

He sank back in the seat that had become the bane of his existence, smoking that cigarette like it might just offer him salvation.

This situation had to be punishment. He made that decision as the clock on the wall reminded him that it had been three hours. He was being punished for all the shit he pulled. The hookers, the people he killed, the people he let down.

He put the cigarette out in the ashtray on the side table, already itching for another to calm his nerves.

Javier dragged his fingers through his hair, tugging at the strands as they slid between his fingers. He should’ve been in there with her. She shouldn’t have to be going through childbirth alone. What a fucking shitty way to bring a new life into the world.

Once he had his daughter in his arms, he decided, he was never letting her go. Or her mother, for that matter. He still couldn’t wrap his head around it. Him — a father. He’d kept attaching that noun to himself and it still just didn’t feel real.

Made worse by the fact that he was on the outside looking in.

He’d never tell her how hard it had been for him, because it seemed like a jackass move considering she was the one who had been throwing up, losing sleep, and suffering while carrying their baby. He’d tried, in recent weeks, to at least voice his frustrations, but it wasn’t everything. There was a wound that was festering within him and he was willing to just wait it out until it healed.

He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes before he pried himself out of the chair in search of shitty vending machine coffee . It was down the hall, closer to the maternity ward — closer to where new fathers who didn’t want to be in the room waited. Those assholes didn’t know what they were missing out on. What he wouldn’t give to be in there, with her.

Javier had never really done emotions. If he had, he likely wouldn’t have hauled ass when it came down to his own wedding. Commitment used to feel like a four-letter word. When he was a young buck who didn’t want to get tied down in Texas. Hell, half the reason he ended up in the DEA was because it meant he wouldn’t have to settle. Different assignments across the country — across the world. Never in one place for too long… until Colombia.

Until her.

He figured he must’ve known when she first started working at the DEA. She wasn’t afraid to go toe-to-toe with him. She’d given him hell within her first week in the office. She didn’t let a damn thing slide and she wasn’t afraid to call him out on shit. God, she’d been a breath of fresh air. Not that he hadn’t enjoyed Steve’s company. But she was different — one of the guys. Except she was more than that.

He’d fancied her for a long time. Longer than he’d likely ever admit to another living soul.

Fuck. He still remembered that rush of excitement he’d felt after Steve and Connie dipped out of their farewell hurrah. She’d looked so fucking good sitting beside him at the table. They’d both been throwing playful jabs at each other and he’d spent the better part of the evening wondering what her lips would taste like. He finally had the chance to make a move. Both of them just tipsy enough to forget about all the reasons they shouldn’t. That night had led them to this moment.

“Señor Peña?” A nurse stood in the threshold of the waiting room, calling for him. She turned, just as he approached, “Señor Peña?”

“Si.” Javier breathed out, fingers gripping his styrofoam coffee cup more tightly. “Mi nombre es Javier Peña.”

She was ready to see him.

Javier wasn’t entirely certain what was said to him after that. It was all a blur as he was finally led through the maternity ward doors, the sound of them swinging closed behind him nearly deafening — which he realized was ridiculous. The nurse ushered him back into the room he’d vacated four hours ago, when he’d first returned from the DEA.

The whole afternoon had been bullshit.

She’d gone into labor just after lunch and he'd dropped her off at the hospital and returned to work. Was she going to have their daughter while he was working on compiling a report? Would she remember to page him — or would she be too caught up in holding their daughter for the first time? He got fuck-all done that afternoon, watching the minute hand tick down until he was free to leave.

They let him visit with her briefly before the time came. Before they were pulled apart because he was just a friend. He knew it was coming, he’d prepared for it to come, but it had felt like getting shot. To deny that he had any hand in conceiving that little miracle.

His heart felt like it was going to explode as his gaze fell upon the bundle in her arms. “Holy shit.” He swallowed thickly. Javier drew in a shaky breath as he took a step forward, fingers clenching and unclenching at his side.

Where had his coffee gone? Fuck. Everything about the last five minutes was a blur.

“Is she…”

“She’s beautiful, Javi.” She smiled at him and he felt a rush of pride go through him. His feet carried him towards the bedside, trembling fingers brushing over her forehead as he pressed a kiss there. His fingers moved to her shoulder, giving her three short squeezes as he peered down at their daughter.

She was gorgeous. Far more gorgeous than she had any right to be, given that she was partly made out of him.

“Can I—”

“Please.” She sat up slowly, keeping the baby cradled to her chest before she carefully passed her into his arms. “Hold her head, just like that.” She squeezed Javier’s forearm, still smiling up at him. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

“She’s gorgeous.” Javier blinked, feeling his eyes burn before a tear rolled down his cheek. His chest felt so tight as he stared down at her. He couldn’t fathom how he deserved to be holding something so tiny and pure. He pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, laughing breathlessly as her little eyes opened to look up at him. “Hi, baby girl.”

“I still want to go with your grandmother’s name.”

Javier looked up at her, offering her a watery smile. “Yeah?”

“She seems like a Josie, doesn’t she?”

“She seems like she’s perfect.” Javier looked back down at the baby in his arms, grinning at the way she was staring up at him. “Josie.” He breathed out, cradling her to him gently. Javi looked back towards the bed, brows furrowed. “How did you do?”

She shrugged, gesturing to Josie. “I gave birth.” Javier knew her well enough to know that she was tamping down her own feelings about the matter.

“Baby, I wish I could’ve been here.”

“Me too.” She said sadly. “Once we’re home, everything will be easier.”

Only, he knew it wouldn’t. He still had to go to work tomorrow and pretend that his daughter hadn’t just been born. He’d have to come up with excuses for his exhaustion. None of it was easy. Worth it, but not easy.

All of it was worth this moment. Holding his daughter in his arms. His flesh and blood. More than he ever deserved.

“I was thinking about burning through a couple of my vacation days—”

“Javi.”

“I know.”

“You can’t.”

“I want to.”

She sighed, “It would be too coincidental.”

He stared down at his daughter, his brow furrowing. “I don’t wanna miss out on anything.”

“You can’t argue with me, Javi. I just pushed that watermelon out of my vagina.”

He shot her a look. “Fuck. I know. Doesn’t mean I can’t want to be there.”

“It’ll get easier.”

It wouldn’t. But he was willing to take what he got.

“How do you feel?”

She narrowed her eyes at him, “Exhausted.”

Javier shuffled closer to her bed, leaning down to press a quick kiss to her lips. “You did such a good job, baby.” He whispered. He wished he could’ve been there with her, been there to hold her hand. But there was no point wishing for something that was never meant to be his.

She reached up and cupped his cheek, “She was worth all the pain.”

“Yeah she was,” Javier said quietly.

———

Leaving the hospital when visiting hours came to an end hurt worse than Javier had expected it would. Walking away from the woman he loved and their baby felt like a strange brand of torture. Made worse by the fact he went home to an apartment that hadn’t felt like home since he started spending nights with her. His bed felt too small, tainted with memories he’d traded for a better life. His apartment didn’t have the nursery he’d painted, it didn’t have the crib he’d put together. It was merely a place he slept, not the place he lived.

She paged him around eleven in the morning to let him know she was being discharged. He was out of the office on a stakeout with Daniel — not free to take her home. When he got back to the office late in the afternoon, she’d called and left a message on his desk phone. The hospital helped her get a taxi and she and baby Josie were both safely home.

Home. Where he should’ve been.

Weren’t fathers supposed to be there when their kids came home?

“You look like shit.” Chris remarked, kicking back in his chair as he looked across the office at Javier. “What’s your problem?”

“Didn’t sleep last night.” Javier rubbed at his eyes, perching an elbow on his desk. He was counting the minutes until he got to leave.

“Oh, yeah?” Chris wiggled his brows suggestively.

Javier glared at him. “Fuck off.”

“That bad, huh?”

“I couldn’t fucking sleep. End of story.”

Chris fell silent for a few minutes, right up until the moment he jerked his head towards the empty desk across from you. “At least we’ve got a good month free of her. Something to look forward to.” He squished a stress ball in his hand. “Could be longer. Never know with these bitches when they become mothers. They get all sentimental.”

Javier felt heat rising up the back of his neck, fingers curling into fists atop his desk. “Watch your fucking mouth.”

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me.” Javier gritted out.

“I don’t get how you’re friends with her.” Chris shrugged and dropped the subject.

The last couple of hours of work dragged. They tried to get Javier to head up an overnight mission, but he offered it to Chris and Daniel instead. He had somewhere he needed to be and that was not sitting in the back of a van getting bullshit intel.

———

“Baby, you didn’t have to cook.” Javier complained as he looked towards the kitchen before his gaze flickered back towards where she was resting on the sofa. “I could’ve eaten anything out of the fridge.”

She laughed softly, “I needed something to do. I did not like being here all day.” She sat up gingerly, paining creasing across her features.

“Hey, hey. Stay sitting.” Javier urged her, moving to join her on the sofa. “How do you feel?”

She made a face, “I’m going to spare you the details.”

Javier drew her into his arms, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “I wish I could’ve been here today.”

She interlaced her fingers with his, squeezing tightly. “Me too. But I also wish I’d been able to go to work today. I don’t know if I can handle ten weeks of this.”

“Let me take a couple days off. I’ll say I have to go see my pops or something.” Javier suggested, hoping she’d take him up on that offer.

She relaxed back against his chest, tilting her head so she could look up at him. “Javi.”

“I know.” He sighed, dragging his fingers through his hair and down the back of his neck. “But this is gonna kill me. Just a couple days.”

“Javier, we have to play this safe. You taking off is going to look suspicious.”

“No, it’s not.” Javier gritted out. “No one would suspect us. No one is going to think me taking a couple days off to see my pops has anything to do with you being on maternity leave.”

“No, no.’ She shook her head. “You can’t say you’re going to Texas, they can double-check that shit.”

“So what do you want me to say?” Javier questioned. She hadn’t said ‘no’ full stop that time.

“Say…” She hesitated, chewing on her bottom lip. “Say you’re visiting someone. Someone who might have intel.”

“Fine.” Javier shifted so he could meet her eyes. “Five days. The weekend and three vacation days.”

She sighed and considered it. “Fine.” A faint smile played over her lips. “Please eat. She’s going to be up again soon to eat and I’d like some company.”

Javier pressed a kiss to the top of her head before he slowly peeled himself out from behind her. He could handle five days. Five days wasn’t quite ten weeks getting to bond with his daughter and help his partner through her own healing process — but it was something.

Now he just had to hope it got approved. He’d come up with some story, some hooker, some shadow of his past. He could probably get something out of one of them to corroborate his story.

———

“I’ll get her,” Javier whispered as he groggily sat up in bed, rubbing at his eyes.

“She’ll want to eat.”

“Just rest, baby.” He urged her as he slid out of bed and padded blearily across the bedroom to the bassinet. Josie was fussing, soft little mewl-like cries that were the start of a much louder cry. “Shh.” He lifted her into his arms carefully, his palm resting against the back of her head. “Daddy’s got you.”

He carried her carefully, settling back down onto the bed. He had Josie nestled against his chest, his heart beating faster as she nestled her little cheek against his skin and quieted. “She’s so tiny.” Javier marveled.

“She is.” She answered as she turned on the bedside lamp, “And enjoying the skin-to-skin.” Javi watched as she pulled the pillows up behind her so she could recline more comfortably. “What?”

“Can’t believe we made her.” Javier mused as he reluctantly passed Josie off to her mother. He knew she needed to eat, but he just wanted to hold her a little bit longer. It had only been a day, but already there was this deep seated fear that he would blink and miss everything. That he’d go to work and come home a stranger in his daughter’s eyes.

Javier settled onto the bed beside her as she worked to get Josie to latch on to her breast. That was his whole world right there. None of the other shit mattered. Everything that came before this… irrelevant.

It felt like just yesterday that she’d told him she was pregnant. Just yesterday, that his entire life narrowed down to just these two people.

He had never actually envisioned what being a father would he like. His own father used to tell him that once he settled down and met someone he could commit to — everything would change. He’d thought it was bullshit until it happened to him. Until he realized he had to grow the fuck up and be a man worthy of being a father to her child.

“Hey,” Javier whispered, his fingers spreading out over her stomach as he looked up at her.

“Yeah, Javi?”

“I love you.”

She smiled, “We love you too.”

One day, he hoped he wouldn’t have to hide this. To never have to pretend to have only a passing interest in their lives, when in reality, he was counting the seconds until he could be alone with them again. Where this was the woman that he loved and his daughter.

Where this was his family.

#javier pena x reader #javier pena #pedro pascal x reader

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doubleattitude · 3 years

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JUMP Dance Convention, Overland Park, KS: RESULTS

High Scores by Age:

JUMPstart Solo

1st: Penelope LeMieux-’These Boots’

2nd: Alexandra Charnstrom-’Imagine’

3rd: Reese Braga-’Fallen Memory’

4th: Olivia Weber-’Bird’

4th: Averie Ertugrul-’Dare’

4th: Rio Slaughter-’One Jump’

4th: Renzo Slaughter-’Spider-Man’

4th: Sawyer Hall-’When You’re Good To Mama’

5th: Evey Keegan-’Not A Dream’

6th: Maddox Hall-’Floating/Sinking’

Mini Solo

1st: Kelsie Jacobson-’I Dreamed A Dream’

2nd: Carrigan Paylor-’It Is Time’

2nd: Braylynn Grizzaffi-’Path5′

3rd: Skylar Wong-’Elephants’

3rd: Lilly Anderson-’Faun’

3rd: Finley Ashfield-’My Girl’

3rd: Kate Baldwin-’Zimmer’

4th: Fiona Sartain-’The Way You Move’

5th: Santiago Sosa-’Becoming’

5th: Roxie Onellion-’Mellow Yellow’

6th: Callan Waite-’Enter One’

6th: Allie Plott-’The Path’

7th: Channing Embry-’Blackbird’

7th: Stella Bratcher-’Blow Gabriel Blow’

7th: Zoe Flores-’Danger’

7th: Isabella Charnstrom-’The Brink’

8th: Ella Dobler-’Shrine East’

8th: Emily Core-’Without Limits’

9th: Pierson Aldridge-’Sarajevo’

10th: Ruby Arnold-’Winter’

Junior Solo

1st: Josie Lutz-’Time’

2nd: Audrey Mayernik-’All Human Beings’

3rd: Brooklyn Simpson-’A Great Altar’

3rd: Claire Monge-’Found’

3rd: Leila Winker-’Takt’

3rd: Campbell Clark-’The Scarlett Effect’

4th: Brooke Toro-’From Within’

5th: Brynn Kostka-’Answer’

5th: Carley Jensen-’April In Paris’

5th: Natalia Garcia-’Hallelujah’

5th: London Barron-’Look What Your Love Has Done To Me’

6th: Caroline McGowan-’Everything Evaporates’

6th: Finley Aldridge-’Jealous’

7th: Ava Munos-Ask’

7th: Gigi Johnson-’How It Was’

8th: Tori Chun-’Glacier’

8th: Julia Chavez-’Going Under’

8th: Ava Rothmund-’Hand Covers Bruise’

8th: Kira Reissner-’Shadow Journal’

8th: Londyn LeMieux-’Tar’’

9th: Ellie Jane Knell-’In Another Life’

9th: Morgan Foged-’Rapture’

9th: Finley Waite-’Welcome Home’

10th: Penelope Ciminieri-’Take My Hand’

10th: Livia Bonnie-’Walking In the Air’

10th: Haydyn Jackson-’Warm Summer Breeze’

Teen Solo

1st: Isabella Jarvis-’Moonlight Serenade’

2nd: Addison Middleton-’Dark Dissonance’

2nd: Beth Anne McGowan-’Informally Cool’

2nd: Jesse Detroy-’Once Upon A December’

3rd: Isabel Reese-’Spectral Density’

3rd: Sophie Bishop-’Unravelings’

3rd: Lawsen Hooker-’When I Grow Too Old To Dream’

4th: Emery Sousley-’Birds of Paradise’

4th: Addison Allen-’Seven Nation Army’

4th: Lily Thelen-’Hero’

4th: Jesse Flaherty-’Reaching For Cold Hands’

5th: Whitney Tomes-’Don’t You Hate It When?’

5th: Andres Jimenez-’Frontieres’

5th: Sofia Andrus-’Numb’

5th: Mini Preston-’Rosas’

6th: Ayla Pilrain-’Commit’

6th: Abigail Webers-’Embers’

6th: Alexis Schueller-’Lilac Wine’

6th: Ayva Royster-’Safe Now’

7th: Anna Brown-’Isn’t It Romantic’

7th: Joshuah Rivera-’Less and Less’

7th: Sydney Orr-’So Far’

7th: Dasha Vishnayakova-’This Place Was A Shelter’

8th: Riley Brull-’Black Flies’

8th: Molly Mack-’The Colour In Anything’

8th: Piper Embry-’Trouble On My Mind’

9th: Trinity Baker-’Swingin’ Part’y

9th: Hudson Beery-’Time’

10th: Callie Weinert--’Let You Go’

10th: Siena Riga-’Naked’

10th: Kieran Holmes-’Slow’

10th: Eva Hurtig-’True Purpose’

10th: Lauren Finnerty-’Vast & Limitless’

Senior Solo

1st: David Keingatti-’Belief 2′

2nd: Brianna Keingatti-’Everything Must Change’

3rd: Brooke Cheek-’The Beginning & The End’

4th: Sophie Tosh-’The’

5th: Reagan Stafford-’Beneath the Light’

5th: Jordin Suwalski-’Hold On Tight’

6th: Cassidy Reigel-’Are You Lonesome Tonight’

7th: Elle Tosh-’Safe’

8th: Emma Thelen-’Creep’

9th: Meghan Rigdon-’Gypsy Rhapsody’

10th: Reese Spencer-’Speechless’

Open Solo

1st: Summer Martin-’Insomnia’

JUMPstart Duo/Trio

1st: Miss Kristys School of Dance-’Azumba’

2nd: Charlee’s Elite School of Dance-’Fight Night’

Mini Duo/Trio

1st: The Pointe Performing Arts Center-’Angel By The Wings’

2nd: Charlee’s Elite School of Dance-’Gotta Do’

3rd: Perception Dance Company-’Nails Hair Hips Heels’

Junior Duo/Trio

1st: Infinity Dance-’Stand By Me’

2nd: Perception Dance Company-’My Egyptian Love’

3rd: Perception Dance Company-’By Your Side’

Teen Duo/Trio

1st: Universal Dance Academy-’Imagine’

2nd: Perception Dance Company-’Black and Gold’

3rd: The Dallas Conservatory-’Friction’

Senior Duo/Trio

1st: Artistic Edge Dance Centre-’Symphony of Sorrow’

2nd: Perception Dance Company-’Keep You From the Cold’

3rd: Perception Dance Company-’Eskimo’

JUMPstart Group

1st: Miss Kristys School of Dance-’Watch Me Now’

2nd: Miss Kristys School of Dance-’Nature Boy’

Mini Group

1st: Perception Dance Company-’O’Holy Night’

2nd: Perception Dance Company-’Dare You Not to Dance’

Junior Group

1st: Perception Dance Company-’All Of the Row Boats’

2nd: Perception Dance Company-’Man I Feel Like A Woman’

Teen Group

1st: Perception Dance Company-’Never Again’

1st: Perception Dance Company-’South London’

2nd: Perception Dance Company-’React’

3rd: Charlee’s Elite School of Dance-’Daughter’

Senior Group

1st: Perception Dance Company-’Life In the City’

2nd: Perception Dance Company-’Little Bird’

High Scores by Performance Division:

JUMPstart Jazz

Miss Kristys School of Dance-’Watch Me Now’

JUMPstart Contemporary

Miss Kristys School of Dance-’Nature Boy’

Mini Contemporary

Perception Dance Company-’O’Holy Night’

Mini Jazz

Perception Dance Company-’Dare You Not to Dance’

Junior Contemporary

Perception Dance Company-’All Of the Row Boats’

Junior Jazz

Perception Dance Company-’Man I Feel Like A Woman’

Teen Lyrical

Perception Dance Company-’Never Again’

Teen Contemporary

Perception Dance Company-’South London’

Teen Jazz

Perception Dance Company-’React’

Senior Jazz

Perception Dance Company-’Little Bird’

Senior Contemporary

Perception Dance Company-’Life In the City’

Best of JUMP:

JUMPstart

Miss Kristys School of Dance-’Watch Me Now’

Mini

Perception Dance Company-’O’Holy Night’

Junior

Perception Dance Company-’All Of the Row Boats’

Teen

Perception Dance Company-’Never Again’

Charlee’s Elite School of Dance-’Daughter’

Senior

Perception Dance Company-’Life In the City’

Best in Studio:

Perception Dance Company-’Life In the City’

#kansas city #overland park #jump #2021

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amazingdancetalent · 3 years

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Jump Overland Park Results 2021

Jumpstart Solos

1 [YRJ] - Penelope LeMieux, These Boots, Evolve Dance Complex

2 - Alexandra Charnstrom, Imagine, Larkin

3 - Reese Braga, Fallen Memory, New Level Dance Company

4 - Olivia Weber, Bird, Miss Kristys School of Dance - Averie Ertugrul, Dare, Miss Kristys School of Dance - Rio Slaughter, One Jump, Charlee's Elite School of Dance - Renzo Slaughter, Spiderman, Charlee's Elite School of Dance - Sawyer Hall, When You’re Good to Mama, The Edge Amarillo

5 - Evey Keegan, Not a Dream, Miss Kristys School of Dance

6 - Maddox Hall, Floating/Sinking, The Edge Amarillo

Mini Solos

1 [YRJ] - Kelsie Jacobson, I Dreamed a Dream, Larkin

2 [YRJ] - Carrigan Paylor, It Is Time, Summit - Braylynn Grizzaffi, Path5, The Pointe Performing Arts Center

3 - Skylar Wong, Elephants, Woodbury - Lilly Anderson, Faun, Larkin - Finley Ashfield, My Girl, Larkin - Kate Baldwin, Zimmer, Infinity Dance

4 - Fiona Sartain, The Way You Move, Danceology

5 - Santiago Sosa, Becoming, Stars - Roxie Onellion, Mellow Yellow, The Base Dance Center

6 - Callan Waite, Enter One, Williams Center Rhythm Factory - Allie Plott, The Path, The Dance Centre

7 - Channing Embry, Blackbird, Next Step Dance - Stella Bratcher, Blow Gabriel Blow, Priscilla and Dana's - Zoe Flores, Danger, Magic Dance Studio - Isabella Charnstrom, The Brink, Larkin

8 - Ella Dobler, Shrine East, New Level Dance Company - Emily Core, Without Limits, New Level Dance Company

9 - Pierson Aldridge, Sarajevo, The Pointe Performing Arts Center

10 - Ruby Arnold, Winter, True Dance and Company

Junior Solos

1 [YRJ] - Josie Lutz, It Is Time, Larkin

2 [YRJ] - Audrey Mayernik, All Human Beings, The Colony

3 [YRJ] - Brooklyn Simpson, A Great Altar, Williams Center Rhythm Factory - Claire Monge, Found, Larkin - Leila Winker, Takt, Millennium Dance Complex - Nashville - Campbell Clark, The Scarlett Effect, Elevate Dance Academy

4 [YRJ] - Brooke Toro, From Within, Danceology

5 - Brynn Kostka, Answer, Larkin - Carley Jensen, April in Paris, Larkin - Natalia Garcia, Hallelujah, The Chicago School of Ballet - London Barron, Look What Your Love Has Done to Me, Nor Cal Dance Arts

6 - Caroline McGowan, Everything Evaporates, Next Step Dance - Finley Aldridge, Jealous, The Pointe Performing Arts Center

7 - Ava Munos, Ask, Larkin - Gigi Johnson, How It Was, The Dallas Conservatory

8 - Tori Chun, Glacier, PULSE Dance Centre - Julia Chavez, Going Under, Club Dance Studio - Ava Rothmund, Hand Covers Bruise, Larkin - Londyn LeMieux, Tar, Evolve Dance Complex - Kira Reissner, Shadow Journal, Larkin

9 - Ellie Jane Knell, In Another Life, Kansas City Dance Company - Morgan Foged, Rapture, True Dance and Company - Finley Waite, Welcome Home, Williams Center Rhythm Factory

10 - Penelope Ciminieri, Take My Hand, Kansas School of Classical Ballet - Livia Bonnie, Walking in the Air, True Dance and Company - Haydyn Jackson, Warm Summer Breeze, Just Off Broadway

Teen Solos

1 [YRJ] - Isabella Jarvis, Moonlight Serenade, Larkin

2 [YRJ] - Addison Middleton, Dark Dissonance, The Rock Center For Dance - Beth Anne McGowan, Informally Cool, Next Step Dance - Jesse Detroy, Once Upon a December, Master Ballet Academy

3 [YRJ] - Isabel Reese, Spectral Density, Next Step Dance - Sophie Bishop, Unravelings, Next Step Dance - Lawsen Hooker, When I Grow too Old to Dream, Williams Center Rhythm Factory

4 [YRJ] - Emery Sousley, Birds of Paradise, Heart of America Dance Centre - Addyson Smith, Ecdysis, Elite Dance and Performing Arts Center - Paxton Beery, Hero, Universal Dance Academy - Jesse Flaherty, Reaching for Cold Hands, The Dancer's EDGE

5 [YRJ] - Whitney Tomes, Don’t You Hate It When, True Dance and Company - Andres Jimenez, Frontières, Artistic Edge Dance Centre - Sofia Andrus, Numb, Michelle Latimer Dance Academy - Min Preston, Rosas, Larkin

6 - Ayla Pilrain, Commit, Larkin - Abigail Weber, Embers, The Dallas Conservatory - Alexis Schueller, Lilac Wine, The Colony - Ayva Royster, Safe Now, The Dallas Conservatory

7 - Anna Brown, Isn’t It Romantic, GC Dance Company - Joshuah Rivera, Less and Less, The Dancer's EDGE - Sydney Orr, So Far, The Pointe Performing Arts Center - Dasha Vishnyakova, This Place was a Shelter, Next Step Dance

8 - Riley Brull, Black Flies, Perception Dance Company - Molly Mack, The Colour in Anything, Priscilla and Dana's - Piper Embry, Trouble on My Mind, Next Step Dance

9 - Trinity Baker, Swingin’ Party, Starstruck Performing Arts Center - Hudson Beery, Time, Universal Dance Academy

10 - Callie Weinert, Let You Go, The Colony - Siena Riga, Studio 702 Dance - Kieran Holmes, Slow, The Dance Kollective - Eva Hurtig, True Purpose, Priscilla and Dana's - Lauren Finnerty, Vast & Limitless, Next Step Dance

Senior Solos

1 [YRJ] - David Keingatti, Belief 2, Columbia Performing Arts Centre

2 [YRJ] - Brianna Keingatti, Everything Must Change, Columbia Performing Arts Centre

3 [YRJ] - Brooke Cheek, The Beginning and the End, Progressions Dance School

4 [YRJ] - Sophie Tosh, The, Artistic Edge Dance Centre

5 [YRJ] - Jordin Suwalski, Hold On Tight, The Colony - Reagan Stafford, Beneath the Light, Next Step Dance

6 [YRJ] - Cassidy Reigel, Are You Lonesome Tonight, D&J's Dynamite Dance Company

7 [YRJ] - Elle Tosh, Safe, Artistic Edge Dance Centre

8 - Emma Thelen, Creep, Perception Dance Company

9 - Meghan Rigdon, Gypsy Rhapsody, Starstruck Performing Arts Center

10 - Reese Spencer, Speechless, Block 16 Studios

Open Solo

1 - Summer Martin, Insomnia, Soar Dance Academy

4 notes · View notes

arysafics · 4 years

Text

Off Script

Summary: Clarke needs a fast way to pay tuition. Raven suggests the film company on campus that does porn. Clarke likes sex, so why not? When she gets there, she finds out exactly why Bellamy wouldn't look her in the face when Raven suggested it

for @the100kinkmeme

Rated E, ~4.3k words

As it turns out, selling her art over the internet isn’t as lucrative as Clarke would have liked, and even on top of her part time job at the campus bookstore, it isn’t enough to cover her tuition.

Once upon a time she had a college fund, that her parents set up for her as soon as she was born. But her mom blew half of it on pills, and then the rest of it when she tried to gamble what she’d spent back. Clarke knows Abby feels guilty about it, and she’s in rehab now – but it’s not enough for Clarke to forgive her.

“I’m out of ideas,” Clarke bemoans to Raven and Bellamy, the two of them sitting across from her at a café on campus. Bellamy shouted her iced coffee out of pity. “I’m going to have to drop out.”

“Clarke, come on,” Bellamy urges. “You can’t drop out. You’ve only got a year left.”

“Well, it’s either drop out or become a hooker. Because nothing else is going to pay well enough to cover the school fees,” Clarke shrugs. She’s acting nonchalant about it, because she doesn’t want to worry her friends. But truthfully, she’s devastated.

“Okay, well, illegal,” Raven points out. “But there’s always porn.”

“I don’t know if it’s as easy to get into porn as you think it is,” Clarke rolls her eyes. Honestly, doing porn doesn’t sound like the worst thing. She’s kind of into the idea of having sex in front of people anyway, and it’s not like she’s aiming for a career in politics where it could be potentially life ruining.

“Wrong,” Raven says, with her usual know-it-all smirk. “There’s a film company on campus who does porn.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“Raven, she’s not going to do porn,” Bellamy says, rolling his eyes. Clarke raises an eyebrow at him, but he’s looking down at his drink, playing with his straw. Raven ignores him.

“They actually pay really well too. I think the girl who started it is like…loaded.”

Clarke chews her lip. Could she actually do this? Star in porn? Assuming they would want her. But she’s a blonde with big tits, isn’t that the only things they’re looking for?

“Clarke,” Bellamy chokes out. “You’re not actually considering this are you?”

“Why wouldn’t I?”

“It’s—it’s degrading,” he says. His face is redder than she’s ever seen it, and honestly, she’s kind surprised at his reaction. And also, kind of annoyed. She didn’t think he’d be the kind of person who would look down on sex work.

“It’s a company owned by a woman,” Raven points out. “It’s all supposed to be directed for the female gaze.”

“Still,” Bellamy splutters. “Fucking for other people’s entertainment? Come on, Clarke—it’s not exactly dignified.”

“Well, you don’t have to watch it,” Clarke snaps. Bellamy flinches and he looks back to his iced coffee. Clarke turns her attention back to Raven. “Who do I have to talk to?”

The owner of the company, Josephine Lightbourne, is all too happy to have Clarke on board. She barely makes her audition, taking one look at her and declaring her to be perfect for the new film her head writer has been working on. She sends Clarke the script and tells her to be ready to film the following weekend.

Clarke still isn’t speaking to Bellamy. He’s tried to message her a few times, to apologise, but she leaves him on read, still annoyed at his attitude towards women who work in porn. As if she hasn’t caught him watching girls get tied up and spanked on a number of occasions. He’s hardly subtle about it.

Well, if he looks down on those women, he can look down on her too, because the sum of money Josie has offered her is a fucking fortune compared to the peanuts she’s making on her art commissions.

The shoot is to take place at Josie’s house—which turns out to be an intimidating looking mansion, complete with wrought iron gates and an intercom. She supposes Josie still lives with her parents, and wonders how they let their daughter get away with shooting porn in their house, or if they even know. Clarke has never known anyone this rich before.

She’s buzzed through the gates, and she tries not to feel nervous as she walks up the driveway to the front door, where she’s greeted by Josie herself, who leads her upstairs to her bedroom for hair and make-up.

“So, you read the script, right?” Josie says, and Clarke meets her eyes in the mirror, while a woman named Jade does her hair.

“Yes.”

“And you’re all good with everything? Because I don’t want you backing out halfway through and having to step in myself.”

“I’m not going to back out.”

“Promise?”

“Oh my god, I promise. I want to do this. It’s just sex for fuck’s sake, with a bit of roleplay. I can handle it,” Clarke huffs. Josie’s lack of faith in Clarke’s reliability is annoying.

Josie breathes a sigh of relief, and Clarke softens a little. It must be a hard gig, and Josie has probably had actors back out at the last minute before.

“Okay, when your hair and make-up is done, put your costume on and come downstairs and you can meet your co-star, and the rest of the crew.”

Clarke’s stomach flips over. Right, it’s not going to be just her and Josie and a random guy—there’s a whole crew. But she can totally do this. The money is worth it. “Okay, sure,” she says, hoping Josie hadn’t noticed her moment of hesitation.

Josie leaves the room, and Jade finishes with Clarke’s hair and make-up, then she leaves Clarke to put on her costume. It’s a French maid’s outfit, and totally unrealistic, of course. Clarke pulls off her underwear and puts the dress on, squeezing it over her tits, where they spill out over the top ridiculously. The skirt only just covers her ass.

“Completely impractical for cleaning in,” Clarke mutters, as if that’s what matters in porn. Maybe that’s why she’s never been that into watching porn—she has to pick at all the plot holes.

Still, she looks hot, and that’s what matters. It’s not like she’ll be wearing the dress long anyway, once her character “accidentally” spills cleaning product on the dress and has to take it off, just as the owner of the house comes home. It’s a weak plot, if Clarke says so herself.

She shrugs on her robe over the dress, takes a deep breath and heads downstairs to the kitchen, where the shoot is taking place. Clarke really hopes Josie’s parents don’t come home.

She steps into the kitchen, where Josie is chatting to who presumably is Clarke’s co-star, dressed in a business suit, who, Clarke realises, looks sickeningly familiar. Her stomach drops. Is it too late to back out?

He turns his head, and Clarke freezes in the doorway. He doesn’t look surprised. Just guilty as hell.

“Bellamy?” she squeaks out.

“Fuck,” he whispers. “I didn’t really think you’d come.”

“She better fucking come,” Josie huffs. “Or be really good at faking it. Clarke, this is Bellamy, Bellamy, Clarke. Or as the script says, Carly and Mr Roberts.”

Clarke is only half listening to Josie. She can’t stop staring at Bellamy in his suit, looking ridiculously gorgeous as usual. She has to fuck him. Her best friend, who she’s always made sure to keep things strictly platonic with. But now she has to fuck him, on camera, as someone else. And that is so not the way she wanted it to go with him. But she can’t back out.

Then, as she recovers from her shock, she remembers that she’s mad at him.

“This is why you were such a dick the other day? You didn’t want me to know you did porn?”

“It wasn’t just that,” Bellamy says. “I knew there was a good chance they’d pair us together.”

“So it was because you don’t want to fuck me?” Clarke huffs. “If the idea repulses you that much, you can leave.”

“I can’t. I need the money,” Bellamy says. Clarke tries not to feel hurt that he doesn’t deny that the idea of fucking her repulses him.

She lifts her chin. “Well, so do I.”

His jaw clenches. He does that a lot. When he’s angry, mostly, or frustrated. But she’s not going to back down. She needs the money, and she promised Josie.

“Are you two finished?” Josie says with a roll of her eyes. “We have an adult film to shoot. I don’t care about your weird personal problems, you can sort them out later.”

“We’re good,” Clarke says, still looking at Bellamy, daring him to back out.

He looks to Josie. “Yeah, we’re good.”

Josie briefly introduces Clarke to the rest of the crew, and to Clarke’s relief, they’re all women. While it does bring her some comfort, it’s not enough to ease the churning in her gut that started the moment she saw Bellamy standing there in the kitchen. He’s going to see her naked. He’s going to see her naked and he won’t look at her with worship in his eyes, the way he always does in her imagination.

Sure, he’ll act turned on, because that’s what he’s getting paid to do. But inside he’ll be disgusted, or worse, amused by her naked body. She doesn’t know if she can bear it. God, why does the thought of her best friend seeing her naked bring her more anxiety than random strangers on the internet?

Then he’s going to fuck her, and he’ll probably hate every second of it, and they’ll never be able to look each other in the eye again. This is the end of their friendship, Clarke knows it. She glances at him, chewing her lip. Is it worth it?

But then Josie is ordering them to take their places, and Clarke hastily removes her robe, revealing her costume. She glances at Bellamy, who still hasn’t moved to take his place, and he tears his eyes away from her, looking almost—guilty?

He quickly takes his place, and Clarke finds hers too. She closes her eyes for a moment, taking a few deep breaths. She can do this. She just has to pretend she’s Carly the housekeeper, and he’s Mr Roberts, her sexy boss. At least the sexy part won’t take much imagination.

Clarke opens her eyes, just as Josie calls “Action!”

The first part is easy. All she has to do is pretend to clean, while bending over a lot and showing off her ass and pussy to the camera, as well as her ample cleavage. It’s over the top, and ridiculous, and if she’s being honest, kind of embarrassing, though everyone in the crew remains blank-faced as she shows herself off. They’ve probably seen all this before.

She pretends Bellamy isn’t waiting in the doorway, out of shot, watching her. She’s hyper aware of him anyway, and she feels like every movement is hindered by nerves, and she’s not playing it up nearly as much as she should be, because she doesn’t feel sexy, because he doesn’t think she is. Which is fucking stupid, because she knows she is, because she wouldn’t have decided to do this in the first place if she didn’t think she was. But somehow his opinion has more of an effect on her self-confidence than she’d care to admit.

After a couple of minutes of peacocking around, Josie gives Clarke the signal to spill the cleaning product on herself, which is actually just a blank white bottle filled with lube, with a handmade label on it that reads all-purpose cleaning product.

She tips it on herself, and she’s sure there’s no way it looks accidental, but it will have to do. The lube soaks her dress, and she gasps, then stares at it for a moment, seeing as her character seems to be a stereotypical dumb blonde.

And then she has to do it. Take her clothes off. Her heart is thumping so hard it hurts. She can’t help but glance at him, even though she’s not supposed to, and he’s watching, his jaw tighter than she’s ever seen it.

Her eyes drop to the floor as she slips her arms out of the dress first, then pushes it down over her tits. They jiggle, only slightly. Her nipples are hard. Probably great for porn, but she can’t stop thinking about what Bellamy thinks of her. She tries to tell herself she doesn’t care, but the knot in her stomach tells her differently.

She pushes the dress down further, until it falls to the floor, pooling at her feet. She doesn’t dare look over at Bellamy. Doesn’t want to think about the fact that she’s completely on display, and that the camera doesn’t bother her, she doesn’t care about what Josie, or Emori, or Harper thinks of her body. Only him.

She stands there, completely exposed, for what feels like an eternity, though it must only be a few seconds. Still, nothing happens, until Josie hisses, “Bellamy,” and finally, Bellamy swaggers into the shot.

“What’s going on here?” he says gruffly.

“Mr Roberts!” Clarke gasps, throwing her hands over her body. “What are you doing home?” she swallows, meeting his eye. She’s never seen him look so intimidating. The scene may be fake, but the blush covering her body, and the arousal leaking from her cunt, are very very real.

“This is my house,” he reminds her. “I can come home whenever I please. What I’d like to know is why my housekeeper is walking around naked in my kitchen.”

He shrugs his jacket off, tosses it onto a bar stool, then loosens his tie, his intense gaze never leaving her.

“I spilled cleaning product on my uniform,” Clarke says pathetically. “I was hoping to clean it up before you got home.”

“Well, you failed. I guess you’ll just have to finish the job naked.”

“Yes, sir,” Clarke says. She nods meekly. She’s still clutching her tits and pussy like her life depends on it. She almost feels like her life does depend on it.

Bellamy walks over to the stool where he’d thrown his jacket and makes himself comfortable. “I’ll just sit here and watch. Make sure you do it properly.”

Clarke nods. “Yes, sir,” she whispers, though she doesn’t mean to. Seeing him like this is doing something to her—something about her being naked in front of him, while he bosses her around. And the way he’s looking at her—she could almost believe he actually wants her. Who knew he was such a good actor?

Clarke resumes her cleaning, walking over to the sink to do the dishes, which means she has to drop her hands, reveal herself to him again. Her cunt throbs at the way his adam’s apple bobs when his eyes drop to her bare cunt. She hopes he can’t tell how wet she is. Hopes it isn’t obvious how aroused this is making her.

She’s facing away with him as she pretends to wash a plate, side-on to the camera. It’s only a few seconds before she hears him get up, and her heart lodges in her throat. This is the part where he touches her.

“You look like you could use some help,” he says, and Clarke can’t help but wonder how he puts on that husky voice that makes him sound like he’s turned on.

Clarke glances over her shoulder to see him pulling his shirt off as he saunters over to her. She looks away shyly. Thank fuck her character is supposed to be just as bashful as she’s feeling right now.

She can’t see him, but she can feel him behind her, though he isn’t touching her yet. Every hair on her body stands on end, her every nerve screams out for him to touch her. He pauses, probably only for dramatic effect, not because he’s as hesitant about this as she is, right? He just sees this as a job—like Clarke would, had she been working with anyone else.

His hands slide over her stomach, and Clarke leans back, so her back his pressed against his bare chest. Fuck, his body feels so perfect against hers. Like it was meant to be there.

His hands are huge, and Clarke has never realised quite how big they are, until he’s cupping her tits, and he can almost cover them whole. Fuck. He’s touching her tits. Massaging them gently with his big, rough hands, her nipples rubbing against his palms.

“Mr Roberts,” Clarke breathes, vaguely remembering she’s supposed to be shooting a porno right now. “What are you doing?”

“Doesn’t it feel good, Carly? My hands on your tits?”

“Yes, sir,” Clarke says. It’s not a lie. She’s leaking from her cunt onto her thighs, and she has to press them together to try and stop the pressure from building inside her.

“Of course it does. Tits like yours need to be properly attended to,” he says. “Now, why don’t you wipe down the counter, and I’ll help you with that too.”

He drops his hands, and Clarke obediently trots over to the counter with the dishcloth in her hand. She leans over the counter, much lower than necessary, sticking her ass out, spreading her legs. Her nipples rub against the cool marble.

She shivers as Bellamy runs his hand over her ass. She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip as his fingers brush against her folds. There’s no way he can’t tell how turned on she is. God, she’s never going to be able to look at him again after this. He’ll always know what her cunt tastes like. What she sounds like when she comes.

The whimper she lets out when he sinks his finger into her isn’t faked. She hopes he thinks it is.

“Mr Roberts,” Clarke says, only remembering his character’s name at the last second. “Please. I can’t do my job with your fingers in me. It feels too good.”

“Your job is to please me,” Bellamy growls. Clarke’s stomach flips over. Oh god. All she wants to do is please him.

“Do I not please you, sir?”

“You’d please me more with your cunt around my cock.”

“Yes, sir.”

She stays flat against the counter as Bellamy undoes his pants behind her. She glances over her shoulder, though she’s really not supposed to, but she’s desperate to see it. He notices her looking, and before she can quickly whip her head back around and pretend she hadn’t been peeking, he takes her gently by the arm and turns her around. He crashes his lips against hers, pushing her hard against the counter, and Clarke kisses him back, though he’s gone completely off script. He’s supposed to fuck her from behind, not kiss her like it’s the climax of a romance movie.

He breaks the kiss, and Clarke thinks she can see an apology in his eyes. For changing the direction, or for everything else, Clarke doesn’t know. He drops his pants then, and then his cock is jutting up between them, since he’s not wearing underwear.

Clarke’s cunt throbs. God, he’s magnificent. No wonder he’s starring in porn with a cock like that.

“Please, Mr Roberts, how will I ever fit it inside me?” Clarke says, teasing. Bellamy raises an eyebrow, and she can’t tell if he’s amused or unimpressed. Well, if he’s going off script, why shouldn’t she? And Josie hasn’t called cut, or told them to knock it off yet, so she figures some improv is allowed.

“We won’t know unless we try,” he says, vague smirk on his lips. It’s almost like—they’re having fun.

A condom appears from somewhere, and the lube labelled as cleaning product (Clarke sincerely hopes no one takes sex advice from this), and Clarke watches as Bellamy rolls the condom onto his cock, then coat himself with lube. She’d like to help, but that definitely isn’t in Josie’s direction, and Clarke figures they’ve improvised enough today.

“Spread your legs,” Bellamy growls, finally going back to their rehearsed lines. “And no coming until I say so.”

“Yes, sir,” Clarke gulps. He kisses her again, oddly sweet and chaste for a porno, and then he flips her back over so her tits are pressed against the counter again. His cock bumps against her entrance, and Clarke squirms.

“So wet,” Bellamy murmurs, so quietly Clarke wonders if he meant to say it at all.

“Please,” Clarke whimpers. Also not something she’s supposed to say, but fuck if she isn’t desperate for him.

He pushes into her, and Clarke moans, low and long. “Oh my god, please,” she gasps. “Fuck me, fuck me.”

He bottoms out, and she’s so full of him, her pussy spasming around him, aching for more. Fuck, he feels good inside her. Even if their friendship is ruined after this, she hopes they can keep shooting porn together. Because there is no fucking way she’s going the rest of her life without experiencing this again.

She hears him groan, the sound making her clit twinge. “Please,” she whispers again. “B—Mr Roberts.”

His huge hands hold her down as he pumps his cock inside her. There’s no acting involved on Clarke’s part, every breathy moan, every desperate whine is her own. He winds her up, and she can feel the pressure building, coiling inside her, ready to burst. She has to hold off as long as possible. They’re supposed to change positions again before she comes.

But she can’t help it. She writhes beneath him, her eyes squeezed shut, clenching her cunt, trying to stop herself from coming as his cock pounds into her.

“I’m about to come,” she squeaks. “Bell, oh my god, I’m coming, I’m coming—” she cries out, cutting herself off, her orgasm shuddering through her body as she arches up off the counter, her toes curling.

“Shit,” she hears him swear. “Fuck, Clarke, fuck—” His hips jerk against her, and from his low groan, she’s pretty sure he just came too.

“Cut!” Josie calls, clearly annoyed. Clarke lies there on the counter, panting, Bellamy’s cock still inside her, his chest pressed against her back, his hands stroking her sides. He presses a kiss to her shoulder, and her stomach flips over.

“I said cut,” Josie huffs. Bellamy gets up and pulls away from her. Clarke immediately misses him inside her. She feels so empty without him.

“Sorry,” Clarke mutters, standing up. “I didn’t mean to fuck it up.”

Josie rolls her eyes. “It’s fine, we can make it work. I just wish you guys hadn’t said each other’s real names. Amateurs. Go clean yourselves up.”

Clarke nods, face and body covered in a deep blush as she grabs her robe and skitters off to the bathroom. She takes her time in the bathroom, not ready to go and face Bellamy just yet. But she knows she can’t stay locked in the bathroom forever, and she’s pretty sure Josie is going to want to talk to the both of them.

Dread in the pit of her stomach, Clarke quietly tiptoes back towards the kitchen, stopping in the doorway when she hears Josie say, “I guess that’s why you turned me down, huh?”

She’s talking to Bellamy, and neither of them have realised Clarke is there yet, so she ducks out of sight, suddenly desperate to hear the rest of this conversation. Josie asked Bellamy out? And he turned her down?

“Don’t know what you mean,” Bellamy grunts.

“Please,” Josie scoffs. “You said there was someone else. It’s her, isn’t it?” Bellamy doesn’t answer. Clarke’s throat is dry, her heart pounding. “I figured you meant you had a girlfriend. But no, you’re just pathetically in love with your best friend.”

“I—” Bellamy starts. “Is it that obvious?” he whispers. Clarke’s stomach drops. He’s in love with her? Impossible.

“Everyone who watches what you just filmed is going to think we were shooting a romance, not porn.”

“Do you think she knows?”

“She does now,” Josie says. “Considering she’s just outside this room eavesdropping on us.”

Clarke waits a second before stepping back into the doorway, guilty look on her face. Bellamy stares at her, stricken.

“Clarke—” he says. “Fuck.” He shoots a dirty look at Josie, who shrugs uncaringly.

“I don’t understand,” Clarke whispers. “I thought you were repulsed by me, that you didn’t want to fuck me.”

Bellamy laughs nervously, rubbing his face with his hand. “That was never it, Clarke. I just—I didn’t think I’d ever get the chance with you, and when I fantasised about it, it was never like this.” He gestures to Josie and the rest of the crew.

“You fantasised about me?” Clarke says.

He shrugs, looking embarrassed. “Sorry,” he whispers.

“I love you too,” she says quickly. “I’m in love with you too.”

He looks up, astonished, and she beams at him. She must run to him, or maybe he runs to her, because a moment later they’re crashing into each other, lips meeting messily, clinging to each other desperately.

“Save it for the camera, please!” Josie says, forcing them to break apart, both grinning.

“We could just make our own homemade porn,” Clarke says. “We don’t even need Josie.”

“No one is going to pay you as well as I do, blondie,” Josie huffs. “But I’ll tell you what—since you two have such great chemistry, I won’t make you work with anyone else, unless we’re doing a threesome, deal?”

“Deal,” Clarke agrees.

“Who’s the third?” Bellamy asks.

“How about me?” Josie grins.

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #the 100 #the 100 fanfiction #mine

45 notes · View notes

heyheyohsorry · 5 years

Text

impure thoughts

Fandom: Riverdale

Pairing: Cheryl x Toni

Rating: Mature

Summary: Cheryl and Toni stay behind after Vixen practice

“You coming to Pop’s,” Josie asks after Vixen practice, Cheryl shakes her head as she unzips her skirt, standing there in a gray sports bra and underwear.

“Can’t,” Cheryl responds shortly.

“Really?” Josie asks but doesn’t press Cheryl.

“Your loss,” Veronica adds snippy, perhaps a tad upset with how Cheryl ran practice today. It wasn’t Cheryl’s fault that they were all as useless as purity rings on hookers.

The rest of the group follows Josie and Veronica out, all of them already laughing and jovial about the Friday night they’re about to have.

And then it’s just her and Toni Topaz, alone.

Cheryl sits and focuses on keeping her eyes on unlacing her tennis shoes, and not drifting towards the brown-skinned woman changing at the far end of the bench.

Cheryl doesn’t always stay back. Even though at this point, Cheryl is 95% confident of what will happen if she does.

And honestly, Cheryl considers that growth. That she doesn’t always give in to her bodies deviant wants, but Cheryl has been so good lately, so well-behaved, she likes to think of this as a reward for not one hand relief to impure thoughts.

And so Cheryl stalls in the locker room until Antoinette Topaz looks to her with that knowing charming enthralling smirk, no smile. Toni only smiles at her.

Cheryl hasn’t gone back on her belief that Toni Topaz is nothing more than Serpent Scum, that doesn’t mean that Cheryl doesn’t find the pink-haired woman the most beautiful person Cheryl has ever seen.

Cheryl will continue to speak no more than 100 words to Toni, none them kind, outside of this. But here she tries to return the kindness Toni offers her, she goes as far as to think of her as T.T.

Toni, half-dressed in her yellow Vixen’s sports bra and regulatory blue shorts, moves to Cheryl assuredly. Her walk confident as if knows Cheryl is going to follow along with Toni’s plans.

Toni settles to the ground in front of Cheryl.

Cheryl stays still as she looks down at Toni kneeling between her legs. A mix of nerves and anticipation. There’s a tight knot in her stomach as she sits in her bra and underwear wondering what Toni is going to do.

“You were extra tough today, Bombshell,” Toni says, running her hands along Cheryl’s thighs, gently urging Cheryl to spread them wider.

“The other girls get upset but I don’t mind. A woman should know how to take charge,”

Cheryl nods even though her mind is a far from Vixen practice. Toni smiles at her, bright brown eyes, and removes her underwear. When they get stuck between her and the bench Cheryl raises her hips.

“Thank you,” Toni says so polite, so cordial, like Cheryl just held the door. Smiling, as she shimmies the underwear down Cheryl’s legs.

It’s not the first time, nor second, that Toni has stared at her bare pussy before, but Cheryl doubts that she will ever get used to this.

Toni’s eyes light up with wonder. Her gaze so piercing it makes Cheryl want to close her legs, but she knows from experience that Toni will just hold them open further.

“May I?” Toni asks, saccharine sweet. Even if it’s Cheryl giving consent, she is certainly not the one in charge.

She nods her head, knows from experience that Toni needs to hear the words. “yes.”

Toni looks pleased as she says, “Thank you”

Cheryl watches as Toni inches closer, her nose brushing Cheryl’s pubes, inhaling. Toni traces her thumbs on Cheryl’s lips before spreading her labia apart.

“Beautiful, Cheryl. You’re absolutely breathtaking,”

Cheryl spends every other minute of the day trying to tear Toni down, and Toni responds with none of that hostility. The way Toni looks at her, the way she touches her, makes Cheryl wonders if Toni is like this with anyone else, or is this divine appreciate just for her.

Toni’s tongue a broad lick, and Cheryl squeaks.

She pulls back, places a finger to lips reminding Cheryl that they need to be quiet since what they’re up to is extremely forbidden. Fraternizing on school campus, but where would they go? To Thistlehouse? To the Southside?

Cheryl bows her head and Toni smiles at Cheryl before bending towards and eating her fully, tongue tracing her lips before fucking her deeply.

Cheryl knows how wet she is, knows Toni knows how wet she is. It’s slightly ridiculous how worked up Toni can make Cheryl from a few gazes that last too long, an inconspicuous shoulder graze, Cheryl is putty around Toni, hopeless under her hands.

Toni fucks her. Toni’s got two fingers curled inside her, and her tongue is slowly flicking her clit.

Cheryl’s arriving at the conclusion that no one feels as good as Toni, nothing or no one could ever feel as good as Antionette “T.T” Topaz

It doesn’t take long before Cheryl’s raising her hips and fucking herself on Toni’s fingers. She fights against running her fingers through Toni’s soft pink hair and calling out T.T. Instead she bites her lip and grabs onto the locker room bench until her knuckles turn white.

When she comes, Toni moans, louder than Cheryl’s own shuttered gasp, and the thought of Toni liking her taste sends another shudder through Cheryl.

When Cheryl comes down her forehead is sweaty and the edges of her hairline are damp. She rests her weight on her hands leaning back on the bench. A red flush covering her face and chest. Such a contradiction to Toni who’s sitting back on her heels, composed minus the shine on her cheeks.

“You’re adorable, Bombshell,”

“I’m exquisite, not adorable,” with all the haughtiness of a Blossom.

“Fine. Exquisite,” Toni leans forward and licks Cheryl’s cheek. Which is disgusting and unsanitary and also fills Cheryl with butterflies.

Typically this is where their escapades end. They both get dressed. Cheryl goes off to join the Vixens and Toni goes off probably with the Serpents. Cheryl’s not interested in sitting at Pop's while half the squad glares at her and the other half are too afraid to make eye contact.

Toni never glares at her. Toni never looks away.

“Topaz” Toni turns around, for a moment Cheryl is distracted Toni’s harden nipples through her bra.

“Would you like—” she starts again, “Can I reciprocate?”

Toni doesn’t hide the look of surprise and then elation. Toni doesn’t hide much from Cheryl.

“Whatever you want, Bombshell.”

Cheryl smiles, as she reaches out a hand to cradle Toni’s face. She deserves this.

#riverdale #choni #cheryl x toni #toni topaz #look another fandom #hhos fic

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evanhansens · 5 years

Note

Tag the MCS as Waitress characters.

@dontwannalosemyself - Jenna.

@d-ridleys - Dawn.

@revengeparty - Josie/Joe.

@treblemakerz - Ogie.

@janisarkisians - Becky.

@chloebeale - Tyrone Davis’s track.

@annablisshoa - Molly Hager’s track.

@nobody-told-the-horse - Jessie Hooker Bailey’s track.

@kleksuh - Nurse Norma/ Dayna Jarae Dantzler’s track.

@lvrsonbrie - Molly Jobe’s track.

@starcuffedjeans - Lulu.

Myself - A combo of Arica Jackson and Stephanie Torn’s track.

Also Jeremy Pope plays Dr. Pomatter for all of us, because we all love and respect him.

#mcs. mellow cool squad #Anonymous

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nicole-goddessofloki · 5 years

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Tom‘s Spirit Week

Just one more day waiting! But first: #FavoriteTomFriday! For today I made again 3 collages. The first collage‘s theme is my favorite Tom Hiddleston moments from his 37th birthday – today. Here they come:

1. *Since I saw Early Man after the man‘s 37th birthday, I made an exception for this. In Early Man Tom does the voice of bad guy Lord Nooth. We know Tom is the king of accents! Here you can hear Tom do a French accent. There is a bath scene in which Lord Nooth gets an massage, you just got to see the Behind The Scenes footage of that! I really loved all the extra footage on the DVD.

2. The promotion he did for Avengers Infinity War even though his character only was seen in the first 5 minutes. Also for knowing Loki‘s ‘fate’ in this movie for more than 2 years..

3. Tom Hiddleston as Mary Poppins, or do I need to say: Mary Ploppins? Tom starred in the short video ‘Leading Lady Parts’ from which in the end you saw posters of Tom being the lead female role in films such as Mary Poppins & Wonder Woman. Leading Lady Parts sarcastically shows how hard the movie industry for women can be. Leading Lady Parts (produced by Rebel Park Productions) is an initiative of the Hear Her campaign in the United Kingdom, in which women who are normally not heard are given the opportunity to give their opinion on all kinds of subjects. In this short movie actresses audition do a serious role, but get the craziest requests. This becomes painfully clear when the casting agent, played by Catherine Tate, proclaims: 'It's not rocket science darling. We're just asking you to be thin and curvy, sexy and innocent. Thin, sexy, hooker, virgin with boobs and hips. " In the end because of the casting Agent pickiness, Tom Hiddleston is given the female roles instead. I appreciate it a lot that Tom is part of projects about women‘s rights. We all deserve to be treated fairly and not to be judged because of the way we look.

Tom said about this:

“I had so much admiration for everyone who's come forward and spoken up, and the movement of Time's Up and Me Too. I wanted to find a way to help but I was very conscious of it not being necessarily my story. First thing I felt that it was important to do very actively was to listen, to read, to hear so that women could tell their stories and begin to talk about how we might change the environment.” Time's Up

4. Suddenly out of the blue, there was this picture of Tom Hiddleston & Josh Wilson posted by Wilson Worldwide Productions Something about a secret project. I‘m still very curious, because we still don‘t know what it is! I think it‘s something very spectacular! We got something to look forward to! He also posted a second photo (that‘s the one in the collage) in which he tagged me & a few other Tom Hiddleston/Loki fan accounts in. That totally made my day, so thank you Josh!

5. This stands for all the Comic Cons he did. He healed a lot of fan‘s hearts (Which were still broken because of Infinity War). And even those who weren‘t there (including me) this angel reached with his wings. There were plenty of lovely pictures, lovely footage of the Panel‘s. I personally loved his face expression when a little boy asked him if Loki was truly dead. There also was this moment Tom said the words: “Know you are not alone!”, which meant a lot to me. We all have obstacles to face and unfortunately most of us had to deal with bullies (in the past). But where I‘m mostly grateful for is the fact that for every con there were fans collecting fans letters from all over the world, bonded in fan-books. Therefore I know a few of my letters, cards (Christmas card, Birthday card) are given to him! I think we can be blessed to be in such a wonderful fandom! ACE Comic Con.

6. On the 30th October Tom and Josie Rourke talked at the Alan Howard / JW3 Speaker Series. It was a lovely and inspiring interview, I was able to watch later on Youtube. He talked about how he stepped out of his comfort zone, which has inspired me to do the same. When I hear this man talk about acting; whether it‘s in film, series or theatre; it‘s so so visible I‘m listening to a man who found his passion and as I said it before: He truly has put his heart and soul it. Perhaps I do not know how to properly bring this into words, but I hope you understand what I mean. I think many people can see him as an example, given the fact for example how he has grown in +/- 20 years. From liking to do voices as a kid to this passion and talent which goes much deeper than just the word ‘acting’. He does inspire people to go take their passion to the next level as well.

7. Tom Hiddleston‘s first social media post in (what was it?) 2 years: Loki. More stories to tell. More mischief to make. More to come. That literally broke the internet! What Ralph Breaks the Internet? No, Tom Hiddleston breaks the internet! The #LokiSeries (#Disney+) confirmed by the man himself! I‘m so excited for this whole thing. Patient, patient.. But I‘m freaking out inside! Can‘t wait!

8. Tom also did a lot for charity this year. The picture that I chose is Tom visit to the Great Ormond Street Hospital and Children's Charity. He gave the children something they‘ll never forget! Online you were able to write a Christmas wish for the children, which got printed on a Christmas Stocking. On the photo he holds (I assume) his message for the Children. In general he did a lot for Children this year. Tom also donated for the Justice and Equality Fund which was all about the issues of sexual harassment and gender inequality. I remember people said Tom was late during the Avengers Infinity War screening/premiere in London, he met with children in co-operation from the Starlight Children's Foundation before. I cannot think of a better reason to be late for an official event ;).

9. This photo is taken by BBC Radio 2 during the Zoe Ball Breakfast Show. It‘s truly one of my favorite pictures yet! There he spoke about ‘#Betrayal’ which will be hitting the theatre in London next month. He also spoke a little about the Loki Series & about the #Nightmanager season 2, but he wasn‘t alowed to say much about it yet. What better to start your Friday morning (it was a Friday) with then listening to Tom‘s voice on the radio! They also had some real good music in-between the talks. I heard ABBA, Journey (Don‘t stop Believing) & a live performance of a song of No Doubt. Also they spoke about the film 'Mary Queen of Scots' which premiered that week. I found it very impressive!

(The Jamie Lloyd Company Official London Theatre)

The second collage shows some random pictures of Tom I really like + my favorite roles he portrayed other than Loki! Those are Thomas Sharpe in ‘Crimson Peak’, Hank Williams in ‘I Saw The Light’ (the image shows my fave scene: the Baby scene!), Prince Hal in ‘The Hollow Crown’ (I am planning to do a Hollow Crown marathon tomorrow on his birthday!) and I just found out F. Scott Fitzgerald from ‘Midnight in Paris’ is missing. I‘ve watched that film on his birthday last year. In Midnight in Paris a writer (Owen Wilson) literally finds his inspiration in the 20s. And one of my favorite moments of Tom still is when a baby easily got him distracted during an #Avengers Interview. He turns to the baby and says: “Hello baby..”, so adorable!

Last collage is dedicated to Loki! (How else, this blog isn‘t called Goddess of Loki for nothing!) I chose some nice photo‘s I hadn‘t used for We Share What We Want Wednesday yet + a few of my fave LokiTom moments.

I wish Tom a lovely 38th birthday tomorrow! (Of course I wish you all a lovely #TomHiddleston Birthday tomorrow!)

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fyeahamycarlson · 2 years

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#Josie Watts #amy carlson #crazyyy hot🔥🥵#hooker!josie #so sexy #love it #another world #Josie undercover #ocean blue eyes #Josie screenshots

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sunnymenagerie · 5 years

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Except The Whole Hooker Thing

Every day this month I'll be writing about a different woman who has influenced various aspects of my life, encouraged me to keep going when reality seemed bleak, reminded me there is greatness in the world, or just simply made living better.

Perhaps a decade ago we went to a skating rink for some Adult Swim something or other. Gym Class Heroes was performing and well, most of us just hung out away from the skates to lurk around. Glad we did because, in the midst of Travis McCoy, Seth Green and Lance Bass stood a goddess. Rachael Leigh Cook.

She has been working steadily since 1995. Yes, she has most definitely had something with her name attached come out every year since her glorious start when she portrayed mah gurl Mary Anne Spier in the big screen adaptation of The Baby-Sitters Club. In between then and her time as Laney Boggs and Josie in 2001's Josie and the Pussycats she was in Tom and Huck (JTT WHAT <3) and Carpool (a motherfreaking '90s gem). While she's done a lot, A LOT, in the 24 years it those three that made me flip my shit when I met her. Trust, one does not see Laney Boggs skating around a Valley Roller rink and not freak out.

Mary Anne, Laney, and Josie are three characters I have had held close to my heart since childhood, through adolescence and right up into the nitty-gritty of adulthood. Mary Anne was my favorite character in the books next to her bitchy tomboy bestie, Kristy, and then she was an absolute gift in the movie. How does one not fall in love with such a perfect movie portrayal of a beloved book character? Then there is Laney Boggs. OMG. I was a girl in glasses and overalls who had as many friends as she did fingers on one hand. Unlike Laney, I never did get a mini-makeover and turn into the hotness. She's All That joined a lot of cinematic teen movie masterpieces at the tail end of the '90s that are forever placed on my mental pedestal. Last but certainly not least, Josie. Fun fact...in 10th grade, I did a presentation on subliminal messages in the media based solely around my beliefs that Josie and the Pussycats was more investigative journalism with a kickass soundtrack than it was a satirical comedy with a kickass soundtrack.

Rachael Leigh Cook played all of the above with such ease and made each of them stand out on their own in a way that many of her peers could not. Which is why she's a '90s ICON, honey. Mary Anne, Laney, and Josie were each strong-willed in their own ways and that's something I admired then and still do now. Whether it's Mary Anne finally standing up to that bitch Cokie, Laney basically deafening Dean Sampson, or Josie realizing that friendship and her art weren't worth the bullshit - all served up heavy doses of major inspo that I'm forever grateful for and it's all thanks to the one and only Rachael Leigh Cook.

And that, ladies, gents, and non-binary folks is why I was a 20-something almost in tears meeting Rachael Leigh Cook.

#Rachael Leigh Cook #31 days of women #womens history month #shes all that #babysitters club #josie and the pussycats

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simulacrahelps · 6 years

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TWIN MASTERLIST

In this masterlist you’ll find Twins Like or reblog if you thought it was useful

Bold = no resources

Male Twins

Ethan & Grayson Dolan(18)White unspecified

Cole & Dylan Sprouse(25) English, Scottish, Danish, & German

Tom & Bill Kaulitz(28)German

Munro & Thomas Chambers(28) Italian, German, British & French

John & Edward Grimes(26)Irish

Max & Charlie Carver (30)White unspecified

Marcus and Lucas Dobre(19)Iranian & Romanian

Ivan and Emilio Martinez(19) Spanish

Danny & Michael Phillippou(25) Greek cypriot

Laurent and Larry Nicolas Bourgeois(29)French & Guadalopean

Keith & Kevin Hodge(42)Ivorian, Ghanaian, Scandanavian, Iberian, British, Camaroonian, Nigerian, Bantu, Tongolese & Congolese

Finn & Jack Harries(25)White unspecified

Reed & Quin Baron(10)?

Shawn & Taylor Carpenter(22)?

Aidan & Andrew Gonzales(12)Spanish

Andrew & Jakob Miller(?) ?

Anton & Preston LeBlanc(?) ?

Aidan & Liam O’Donnell(?)?

Blake & Brennan Johnson(?) ?

Bodhi & Kai Schulz(?)German & British

Bradley & Spencer Pickren(15)?

Brent & Shane Kinsman(20)white unspecified

Casey & Dylan Boersma(23)?

Connor & Garret Sullivan(17)?

Connor & Owen Fielding(12)

Daniel & Joshua Shalikar(29)Iranian ?

Declan & Rory McTigue(14)?

Dylan & Jordan Cline(15)?

Edward & James Nigbor(?)?

Elijah & Isaiah Ford (?)African-American

Evan & Luke Kruntchev(9)?

Frank & Morgan Gingerich(16)?

Gavin & Ethan Kent(12)?

Hlynur & Marinó Sigurðsson(30)Icelandian

Houston & Kanan Hooker(25)?

Jacob & Zachary Handy(24)?

Jason & Kristopher Simmons(15)?

Joseph & Matthew Levinson(14)?

Joseph & Raymond Cartigiano(14)?

Max & Sam Christy(18)?

Preston & Trevor Shores(?)?

Ronald & Frank De Boer(48)Dutch

Lars & Sven Bender(29)German

Halil & Hamit Altintop(35)Turkish & German

Shota & Archil Arveladze(45)Georgian

Jonathan & Kevin Borlée(30)Belgium

Jasper & Marius Gottlieb(29)Dutch

Benji & Joel Madden(39)English, German, Scottish & Irish

Niek & Brent Schoemaker(14)Dutch

Bryan And Denny Kirkwood(43)White unspecified

Andrew and Steven Cavarno(26)?

Aaron & Griffin Kunitz(13)Russian Jewish

Nicholas Brendon & Kelly Donovan(47)White Unspecified

Jon & Dan Heder(40)Swedish

Jim & John Chapman(30)White unspecified

Dylan & Blake Tuomy-Wilhoit(27)?

Rami & Sami Malek(37)Coptic, Egyptian & Greek

James & Oliver Phelps(32)White unspecified)

Shawn & Aaron Ashmore(38)English

Aaron & Austin Rhodes(22)?

Charlie & Craig Reid (56)Scottish

Duke & Scott Huisman(12)Dutch

Koen en Jos van der Donk(30)Dutch

Tim & Tom Coronel(46)Dutch

Joshua & Jonathan Fatu(32)Samoan

Female twins

Jade & Nikita Ramsey (30)White unspecified

Ailish & Julia O’Connor(10)?

Ali & Susanne Hartman(6)?

Amanda & Caitlin Fein(25)

Amanda & Rachel Pace(17)white unspecified

Anais & Mirabelle Lee(11)African-American

Ashlyn & Kayley Messick(24)?

Ava & Grace Greeson(9/10)?

Ava & Olivia White(13)?

Baylie & Rylie Cregut(8)?

Bebe & Maggie Vose(9)?

Bianca & Chiara D'Ambrosio(13)White unspecified

Brianna & Brittany McConnell(24)?

Cali & Noelle Sheldon(16)?

Campbell & Carolyn Rose(13)?

Cara & Madelyn Gosselin(17) German, English, Scottis, Korean, French-Canadian, Irish, Welsh & Portuguese

Dakoda & Danica Hobbs(12)?

Elaine & Melanie Silver(30)?

Elizabeth & Mariam Tovey(?)?

Ella & Jaden Hiller(9/10)?

Elle & Ithaca Kremer(11)?

Faith & Hope Shin(24)?

Gianna & Jessie Salvatierra(10)?

Isabel & Samantha Kahle (8)?

Jacqueline & Rebecca Levine(11)?

Jessica & Rachael Slomovitz(11)?

Josie & Lucy Gallina(12)?

Kaitlyn & Kristen Hooper(25)?

Karleigh & McKenna Larson(9)?

Kathryn & Megan Prescott(27)White unspecified

Kayla & Rylie Colbert(7/8)?

Keana & Maia Bastidas(20)?

Keaton & Kylie Tyndall(26)?

Madison & Marissa Poer(17)?

Nadia & Talia Hartounian(10)?

Rebecca & Vanessa Rogers(16)?

Rose & Ruby Romero(9)?

Savanna & Sienna Dezio(11)?

Gabi & Niki Demartino(23)Cuban & Italian

Ava and Alexis McClure(5)Half Nigerian

Teagan Rybka and Sam Rybka(23)?

Lisa & Lena Mantler(16)German

Brittany and Briana Murillo(23)?

Elisha & Renee Herbert(19)?

Madeleine and Samantha Caleon(22)?

Mikahl and Payton Caci(19)?

Aitana and Paula Etxeberria(21)Spanish

Linda and Terry Jamison(53)White unspecified

Camille and Kennerly Kitt(?)Norwegian, Finnish & swedish

Mia & Isabella Drotini(5)?

Tegan & Sara Quin(37)French-Canadian & Scottish

Amy & Shelley Vol(22) Dutch

Liliana & Alicia De Vries(30)Colombian & Dutch

Deidre & Andrea Hall(70)?

Tia & Tamara Mowry(40)African-American &Bahamian

Rebecca & Camilla Russo(24)Italian

Brittany & Cynthia Daniel(42)White unspecified

Jill & Jacqueline Hennessy(49) Irish, French, Swedish, Italian, Ukrainian, Austrian & Romani

Nikki & Brie Bella(34) Mexican, Italian, English, Irish & Scottish

Shannon & Shauna Baker (29) Stellat’en Carrier Dene (First Nations) & African-American

Ashley & Mary Kate Olsen (32) Norwegian, English, German, Italian & French

Choa & Heo Minseon(28)Korean

Vanessa & Veronica Merrell(22) Mexican, Portuguese, Spanish, German & Irish

Brooklyn & Bailey McKnight(18)?

Faye & Demi Burgers(21)Dutch

Jessica & Lisa Origliasso(33)Italian & Sicilian

Gabriela and Monica Irimia(35)Romanian

Female & Male twins

Kieran & Meghan Hayes(19)?

Spencer & Peyton List(20) German, English, Scottish, Danish, Welsh & French

Kiefer & Rachel Sutherland(51) Scottish, English, Irish & German

Scarlett & Hunter Johansson(33)Ashkenazi Jewish, Danish & Swedish

People who played Twins

Dove Cameron(Liv & Maddie)(22)Austrian, German, French, English & Scottish

Alexandra Chando(The lying)(32)Slovak, Italian, Polish, Ukrainian & Rusyn

Armie Hammer(The Social Network)(31)Ashkenazi Jewish, German, English, Scots-Irish/Northern Irish, Scottish, Russian, Polish, Danish, Swiss-German, Greek, Cherokee Native American

Sam Underwood(The Following)(31)White Uspecified

Anthony Starr(Outrageous Fortune)(42)?

Leonardo DiCaprio(The Man In The Iron Mask)(43)German, Italian & Russian

Nicolas Cage(Adaptation)(54)Italian, Polish, German & British Isles (English, Scottish)

Michael Keaton(Multiplicity)(66)German, English, Scottish & Scots-Irish/Northern Irish

Bruce Campbell(Army Of Darkness)(60)Scottish & English

Eddie Murphy(Bowfinger)(57)African-American

Lindsay Lohan( The Parent Trap)(32)German, Italian, Irish & Sicilian

Christian Bale(The Prestige)(44)English, Channel Islander [Guernsey] &German

James Franco(The Deuce)(40)Portuguese, Madeiran, Swedish & Ashkenazi Jewish

Marion Cotillard(Les Jolie Choses)(42)Breton & French

Jeane Claude Van Damme(Double Impact)(57)Belgian & Jewish

Bette Midler(Big Business)(72)Ashkenazi Jewish

Freddie Highmore(The Spiderwick Chronicles)(26)English & Scottish

Adam Sandler(Jack & Jill)(51)Ashkenzi Jewish

Jason Sudekis(Eastbound & Down)(42) Irish, Lithuanian & German

Jennette McCurdy(Icarly)(26) Irish, French, French-Canadian, Swedish/Finland-Swedish, Italian, English, Dutch, Frisian, Swiss-German, Scottish, Scots-Irish/Northern Irish, Mexican & Polish

Tom Hardy (Legend)(40)English & Irish

Ed Norton(Leaves of Grass)(48) English, German, Scots-Irish (Northern Irish) & Swiss-German

Trinitee Stokes(K.C. Undercover)(one episode)(12)African-American

Nina Dobrev (The Vampire Diaries (Not actually twins but petrovas)(29)

#masterlist #rph #twins masterlist #twins #my ml

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hopelikethemoon · 4 years

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maybe forever (Javier x Reader) [smut] (part 3)

Title: maybe forever Rating: Explicit Length: 3,400 words Warnings: Smut (unprotected, blowjob/oral sex (m receiving), fingering, mild angst, fluff, daddy!javi Notes: part 3 of (maybe/today) (now the whole thing is called maybe today, maybe forever). Dedicated to @grapemama aaaaand of course @rzrcrst for providing me with the best name for the baby. Summary: Two weeks after “today” Javi and Reader make plans.

Javier sat a stack of papers down on the coffee table in front of you as he peeled off his black leather jacket. “She already asleep?” He questioned, nodding his head down the hallway towards Josie’s bedroom.

You nodded, taking the last pull from your bottle of beer as you stood up. “The sitter had her nephew there today and I think all the excitement wore her out. She was out like a light, seconds after I put her down.”

“Of course she did,” Javier shook his head, scratching at the back of his neck as he sank down on the sofa, stretching his legs out to rest on the coffee table. “I bet you if I had come home early, she’d still be wide awake.”

“Always.” You laughed, heading towards the fridge for another beer. “You want one?”

“If you don’t mind, baby.” Javier answered, already engrossed in his paperwork when you got back to the sofa. You settled down beside him, curling your legs beneath you as you watched him work. The situation with the Cali Cartel had led to a surprising amount of paperwork — between the DEA, CIA, and the Columbian authorities Javier was constantly having to file a stack of paperwork for every decision he made on the case.

“Do you want me to stay out here?” You questioned, turning the volume on the TV down so it wouldn’t distract him.

He didn’t look up from the page he was reviewing, reaching over and giving your thigh a squeeze. “Yeah. I could use the company.”

You sat your bottle down on the coffee table, leaning towards him so you could play your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck. “Don’t work yourself too hard, Javi. You can finish it up at the office tomorrow.”

“Then I’ll just have another fucking stack to deal with ontop of this bullshit.” He complained, reaching for his bottle and taking a swig. “Look how many fucking trees we’ve killed trying to shut down the cartel.”

“Throw a stack on my desk tomorrow. I’ll help.” You offered, stroking your fingers through his hair.

“I appreciate that,” He drawled out warmly, sitting the stack of papers down on the coffee table before he turned to look at you. Javier rested his hand on your bare thigh, his fingers splaying out across your warm skin. “How are you?”

“Better now that you’re home.” You answered with a smirk, shifting closer to him.

“Yeah?” A brow quirked upwards as he ran his tongue over the edge of his teeth. “Why don’t you come over here and sit on my lap while I keep working a little bit longer.” He offered.

Who were you to say ‘no’?

“Don’t you think I’ll distract you?” You questioned, dancing your fingertips down the back of his neck. You moved to straddle his lap, your knees pressing into the sofa on either side of his thighs. “Like this?”

Javier slid his hands down your back, giving your ass a playful tap. “Just a few more pages, baby. Then I’m all yours.” He promised, his mustache tickling you as he pressed a row of kisses along your jawline. He hesitated, sighing heavily. “It still hasn’t faded.”

Your hand went instinctively to the bruise he’d left on you nearly two weeks ago. It had been a lot worse looking at the start. “It’s almost gone.” You brushed your fingertips down the column of his throat, smoothing them over the skin where his chest was exposed. “Don’t worry about it Javi.”

“I haven’t stopped thinking about it.” He confessed, sinking back against the sofa with a heavy sigh. “It could’ve been me.” He dragged his hands along your legs where they were draped over his thighs, before he curled them around your hips.

“But it wasn’t.” You played with the hair that had fallen against his forehead, ruffling it back as you leaned forward to kiss him. Your breath danced over his lips as you pulled back enough to speak. “And now everyone knows about us.”

Javier’s hand made its way up your side, winding through your hair as he cradled the back of your head. “They’re gonna get sick of hearing me brag about how perfect Josie is.” He smirked, nipping at your bottom lip.

“I think Chris already is.” You laughed, bumping your nose against his.

He huffed and rolled his eyes. “He’s just pissed that he can’t keep shaming you for being a single mom.” He squeezed your hip, his thumb brushing over your hip bone through your cotton shorts. “I should’ve done that sooner.”

“We both thought that keeping this,” You gestured between you. “Quiet was a good idea.” Admittedly, it had been hell. Especially in the beginning — in those weeks and months after you both agreed to give a relationship a try. He was still getting intel out of hookers, he just wasn’t actually fucking them. The entire office thought he was, of course. But he wasn’t. The only person warming his bed had been you.

Javier had barely controlled himself when the guys in the office started making thinly veiled sexist comments about your predicament. ‘I don’t blame your baby daddy for hightailing it out of here. Who wants to be saddled with a kid in this hellhole?’ and ‘You don’t even know who the father is? Wouldn’t have pegged you for that kind of lady.’ He defended your honor, as much as someone who was just your partner would.

No one knew that he was the one holding you at night when the hormones had gotten the best of you and you cried like a baby. Well, now they knew.

You shifted your hips forward on his lap so you were settled directly atop his bulge. “Do you still want to work on the files?” You questioned, slowly grinding down against him.

He dragged his hands up your bare thighs, his breath hot against your lips as he tilted his head. “I really should, baby.”

Despite his words, you undid two more buttons on his shirt. “Are you sure?” You questioned, rocking your hips again. You ghosted your lips over his, before you made the motion to get off his lap. “If you insist.”

Javier’s hands tightened around your hips. “Where do you think you’re going, baby?” He questioned, bucking his hips up beneath you, his denim clad cock dragging against the soft fabric of your shorts.

“Fuck.” You hissed out, curling your fingers around the back of his neck.

“You like that?” Javi questioned roughly, holding your hips steady as he moved beneath you.

Your lips parted with a soft moan and you nodded your head in response. That wasn’t good enough, though. He stilled beneath you, fingers gripping your hips tightly. “Use your words, baby.”

“Don’t be a dick, Javi.” You hissed out, scraping your nails over his scalp as you dragged them through his hair. “I want to come.”

Javier chuckled. “Was that so hard?”

“I dunno.” You smirked. “You’re awfully hard.”

He snapped the waistband of your shorts. “Get these off.”

You didn’t need to be told twice. You slid off his lap, shimmying out of your shorts and underwear, never taking your eyes off his face. Instead of returning to your spot on his lap, you pushed the coffee table out of the way and knelt down on the floor in front of him.

“Baby—”

Your tongue darted out to wet your lips as you looked up at him, sliding your hands along his inner thighs. “You’ve been so stressed lately, Javi.” You said sweetly, reaching up to unbuckle his belt, dragging it out of the loops and tossing it aside. “Let me take care of you.”

Javier brushed his fingers over your cheek, his lips parting with a crooked grin. “What did I do to deserve you?”

You grinned back at him with a shrug, “I’ve wondered about that myself.” You teased as you popped the button of his jeans. You kept your eyes on his as you slowly dragged the zipper down, fingers delving into his pants.

Rising up on your knees, you leaned forward and trailed your mouth over his cock through his boxers. His fingers tangled in your hair, gathering it up so he could watch you. You were just teasing him, letting your hot breath play over his hardening cock.

You reached up and started fumbling with the last three buttons of his shirt, never ceasing your teasing. Your hands roamed over his newly bared skin, nails lightly scraping over his stomach as you traveled downwards, hooking your fingers into the waistband of his boxers. Javier’s hips lifted up off the sofa to help you, but you pressed your palms flat against his thighs. “Keep the jeans on.”

Javier’s lips parted as he stared down at you, “Goddammit.” He breathed out, rubbing at his neck.

You smirked up at him as you curled your fingers around the base of his cock, holding him steady as you wrapped your lips around him. You took him in slowly, your tongue swirling around him until he hit the back of your throat.

His fingers tightened in your hair, enough to make you moan at the hot mix of pain and pleasure that rushed through your veins. “You look so pretty like that, baby.” He drawled out, his voice rough with desire.

Encouraged by his praise, you started moving your mouth along his length. God, the sounds he made as you lavished him with attention made your cunt throb. Between the increasing pressure at work with the Cali Cartel, Javier moving into the apartment, and Josie — you hadn’t had much of a chance to enjoy your time with him. Not since the shower.

You pulled back nearly completely, keeping your lips wrapped around the head of his cock. You sucked lightly, before releasing him with a wet pop. You grinned up at him, your lips glistening with saliva, before sweeping your tongue over the tip of him.

“Fuck.” Javier groaned, his Adam’s apple bobbing as he looked down at you. “Get up here.”

Defying him, your lips parted and you took him back into your mouth once more. His fingers tightened in your hair, dragging you off his cock. “Did you hear me?”

You swept your tongue out over your bottom lip, batting your eyes as you looked up at him with your best look of innocence. “I did.”

“Get. Up. Here.” He punctuated each word with a clench of his fingers in your hair. You moaned at the rush of arousal you felt between your thighs and you didn’t resist this time. Planting your hands on his thighs, you stood up on unsteady legs — straddling him once more.

Javier’s mouth crashed against yours. The hand that he’d had tangled in your hair grabbed at the back of your neck. You rose up on your knees, reaching between you to grab his cock, but he caught your wrist. “Wait.” He panted out, scraping his teeth over your bottom lip.

You blinked at him, eyes burning with desire as you held his gaze.

“Look how wet you got, just from sucking my cock.” Javier taunted as he dragged two fingers between your slick folds. Your eyes fell closed as you savored the sensation of finally being touched. “Look at me, baby. Wanna see your eyes.”

You nodded your head at his request, lashes fluttering as you met his dark eyes. “I’ve missed it.”

“I could tell,” He brushed your hair back behind your ears, playing with the strands that were stuck to your sweat-damp skin. “We’ve got to do this more.” Javier marveled at you, soft words spilling from his lips as he pressed two fingers into you. “I miss you all the damn time, baby.”

Leaning forward, you cupped his cheek as you kissed him. Your tongue played over his bottom lip, a moan caught between your mouths. He languidly worked his fingers in and out of you, his thumb ghosting over your clit with never enough pressure to push you over the edge.

You trailed your hand from his cheek, letting it rest at the curve of his neck. Breathing raggedly, you pulled back from the kiss, your lips still brushing against his as you spoke. “I need you, Javi.”

Beyond words, he gave a quiet grunt in response. He barely gave you a chance to mourn the loss of his fingers, before his cock was pressing into you. You clenched around him, rolling your hips downwards.

Javier held you steady as he thrust his hips upwards, driving into you. You had missed being with him like this. The intimacy of it. As much as you had loved the way he’d taken you in the shower — you had wanted this. You had needed this. The way he cradled your cheek in his palm, the way he kissed you like he never wanted it to end, the way he promised that he loved you in between every touch of his lips.

You clung to him desperately as your body tightened around him, your orgasm milking his own release from him. He groaned out your name, hips still rocking upwards as you both came down from your high.

Sometime after you’d regained control of your breathing, you carefully slid off his lap and collapsed lengthways on the sofa beside him. Javier gave your leg a squeeze before getting up off the sofa. He tucked his cock back into his boxers, doing up his jeans as you wandered down the hallway to the bathroom.

You reached for your long-forgotten beer, taking a swig off it as you watched Javi return with two damp washcloths in his hand. “What are you doing?”

“Taking care of you,” He answered with an affectionate smile.

Javier used the first cloth to wipe at your face, cleaning away the mascara that had run down your cheeks, and the mess of saliva that had dried to your chin and lips from sucking his cock.

You stole a kiss once he was done, smiling back at him. “Now you’ve got me wondering what I did to deserve you.” You pushed your fingers through his messy hair, playing with it idly as he used the second damp cloth between your thighs, wiping away the mix of your arousals.

“Probably too damn much.” He remarked, brushing his fingers over the yellowing bruises on your hips. Javier met your eyes, “I love you.” You swore your heart skipped a beat.

“I love you too.”

—— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— —— ——

“You shouldn’t have said ‘no’.” You stated as you stood at the stove, stirring the simmering pot of pasta sauce. “They’re just going to throw a bitchfit on Monday.”

Javier shrugged as you looked over your shoulder at him. “You can’t blame a man for wanting to spend his weekend at home.” He remarked, cradling Josie to his chest as he sat at the kitchen table with her.

You arched a brow at him.

“Baby, it’s not a situation I wanna be put in anymore. Chris can handle it.” He held Josie up so her feet were resting on his legs, trying to stand on her own and failing. He supported her securely, letting her bounce and giggle.

“I just don’t want there to be any issues.” You sighed, lips drawn into a thin line as you turned another burner on to start the pasta. As it was, you hadn’t been assigned outside of the office since the pair of you had come clean with the talking heads above you.

“Look,” He started, pausing so he could shower Josie with kisses — making her squeal and babble with joy. “I’m burning the candle at both ends at the office. I just wanna be home with my girls this weekend. Shit, you’re acting like this is a bad thing. Did you have other plans or something?”

You cracked the pasta in half and dumped into the water, putting the sauce on a lower heat setting before you walked over to the table. “It’s not a bad thing. I just don’t want you screwing up and getting heat for it.” You ran your hand over his broad shoulders, leaning down to kiss his cheek. “We’re both glad you’re here.”

Josie grabbed at you, blowing raspberries.

“Are you teaching your daughter bad manners again?” You arched a brow, pretending to be disappointed in him.

Javi chuckled. “What can I say? I’m a bad influence.” He winked at you before looking back at Josie, his expression faltering after a minute. “We’re good. Right?”

Your heart clenched and you quietly admitted, “I just don’t want you to resent us.”

“That’s not gonna happen.” Javier sighed.

Josie squealed, seeking attention. She reached out, tugging at Javi’s mustache before descending into a fit of giggles.

You leaned down and kissed the top of her head, before you headed back over to the stove to tend to the pasta, not wanting it to stick. You could feel his eyes on you as you kept your back to him as you finished working on dinner.

“I want out.”

“What?”

“Of the DEA.” He clarified. “Once this shit with the cartel is sorted out, I wanna get out.”

Your brows furrowed together as you looked back at him, “Okay.”

“Do you—”

“Yeah, I do.” You strained the pasta out over the sink, sitting the strainer aside to cool. “Where will we go? Back to the states?”

“Maybe Miami.” He suggested. “We can go annoy the shit out of Murphy.”

You laughed, rolling your eyes. “I see what this is all about.” You teased. “You just want to partner up with Steve again.”

“You caught me!” Javier got up from the table, nestling Josie into one arm as he walked over to the fridge to get the bottle of wine out for you. He was good at helping around the apartment, which had honestly shocked you.

“I think I’d like that.” You chewed on your bottom lip, brows still furrowed as you continued working on platting up the spaghetti. “It’ll be a change.”

“Hey,” He drawled out, hooking a finger in your belt loop to pull you close.

“Hmm?” You tilted your chin to look at him, your lips quirking upwards at the corners.

“I’m trying to do right by you and Josie, alright?” Javi’s hand curled around your hip, keeping you there. “I don’t wanna get caught in crossfire and I sure as hell don’t want to go undercover and fuc — flirt — with hookers all weekend. I want this. I’m all in.”

You smiled up at him, “I want it too.” Rising up on your toes, you pressed a kiss to his lips before turning your attention to Josie who was making gurgling sounds to get attention. “I know things started out rocky,” You took her out of his holding, cradling her in your arms so she was facing him. “But I don’t want to lose this.”

“You’re not.” Javi assured you, leaning down to press kisses to Josie’s forehead and cheeks, before planting one on your lips too. “You’re stuck with me, baby.”

“I can’t think of a better person to get stuck with.”

At the start you’d worried that maybe you’d only get to keep him for a month, maybe six. You’d worried yourself to death that he’d wake up one morning and realize he didn’t want this — Josie, you, this life. You could’ve done it all on your own, but you didn’t want to. You wanted him. You wanted this.

The baby, the partner, the condo in Miami; taking Josie to the Everglades National Park to see alligators, ice cream on the beach. Or anywhere. You’d go wherever you had to, just to have a fraction of that.

Javier gave your ass a playful swat as he stepped around you, “Let’s have dinner. The sooner we eat, the sooner we can get her down for the night.”

You rolled your eyes, “I should’ve known you had ulterior motives.” Bouncing Josie in your arms, you watched him help himself to the pasta and sauce, fixing your plate too. “I bet I could convince abuelita to watch her for a couple hours tomorrow.”

He smirked. “I love the way you think.” He plucked out a piece of pasta from the strainer, tilting his head back to slurp it into his mouth — all for show for Josie.

“Your daddy’s silly, isn’t he?” You kissed the top of her head and smiled brightly. This was the man no one at the DEA got to see. This was the Javier only you knew. The goofball, the adoring father.... the man you wanted to spend the rest of your life with.

#javier pena #javier pena x reader #javier pena smut #pedro pascal x reader

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thing-you-do-with-that-thing · 6 years

Text

Every Moment - Part 1: Present

Pairing: Danneel x Reader (future Jenneel x Reader)

Warnings: Judgemental people, society sucks at times.

Square Filled: None with this one

Rating: Teen

Word Count: 967

A/N: This entire series is written for @spnfluffbingo, @spnaubingo and @spnpolybingo

Thanks to the amazingly talented @blacktithe7 for betaing this one for me

***My fics are not to be saved nor posted on any other sites without my express written permission.***

Every Moment Masterlist

Danneel breath a sigh of relief as she walked through their front door. She had wanted to help people when she had studied law in college, but all she had gotten was a job where she had to hide part of who she was. She had dreamt of working as a civil rights lawyer, instead she had ended up in corporate law. It was from her dream, but it paid the bills. She hated it, but coming home to see Y/N everyday made it all worth it.

Danneel’s family were all fairly laid back, and they knew the beautiful woman Danneel was living with was more than just a roommate and her best friend. Y/N had been Danneel’s girlfriend for almost three years now. Still, no one in Y/N’s family knew. They were very conservative and already saw Y/N as the black sheep. Art wasn’t considered work in their family, and even if Y/N’s paintings could be viewed all over Manhattan, and Y/N brought home more money than Danneel did, they still saw her as a failure, which Danneel hated. They were her family though, so Danneel bit her tongue and played alone, being Y/N’s best friend whenever they stopped by. It wasn’t like Danneel could bring Y/N to work events herself either, even if she wanted too. This was just how things had to be between them for now, no matter how much it sucked.

“Hi baby. What’s up?” Danneel let herself fall down onto the couch next to Y/N, instantly sensing something was wrong. Usually Y/N greeted her with a kiss in the hallway, but today she barely looked up when she sat down.

“My cousin Josie is getting married,” Y/N muttered. “I called Mom to try and get out of it, but she wouldn’t have it. And she let a remark slip about Christian. I hate that guy, and she keeps trying to set me up with him.”

“I could come with you and kick his ass if he gets too close?” Danneel suggested half serious and half to make Y/N smile. The last part worked. It was a small smile, but it was a start. “Listen I know you don’t want them to know, but I could go as a friend. They’ve met me before,” Danneel pushed, but Y/N just shook her head.

“They’ll get suspicious. A wedding is kinda a big deal in our family. I just wish I had a guy friend I could ask to come with me and pretend to be my boyfriend for the day,” Y/N blurted out before clasping her hand over her mouth, giving Danneel a panicked look. “I’m so sorry I…”

Danneel laughed at the schok on her face. Both of them were bisexual, but Y/N spending the day with a guy didn’t worry her. She trusted Y/N, and they loved each other deeply. “Don’t worry about it,” she giggled before frowning. “You know. I may have an idea. Order some pizza. I just need to give Gino a call….”

“I’m not bringing your little brother to a wedding Dee.” Y/N sent her a horrified look, making Danneel double over laughing.

“That wasn’t my idea, but I’m so telling him about that reaction,” she giggled, pulling out her phone. “Go get us some pizza and let me work some magic.” She winked, ignoring Y/N’s suspicious look as she headed out of the room.

***

“Okay, pizza. Now your plan.” Y/N dropped the pizza box on the coffee table next to the beers Danneel had gotten from the fridge a few minutes earlier. Danneel looked up from her laptop with a mischievous grin on her face.

“You remember when Gino got that wedding invite for his ex girlfriend’s wedding?” Danneel asked, and Y/N’s face instantly turned into one of complete horror.

“I’m not bringing a hooker to my cousin’s wedding, you weirdo!” she squeaked, making Danneel laugh.

“It wasn’t a hooker. It was off this site,” Danneel turned the laptop for Y/N to see. Rent A Date.

“How is that not a hooker?” Y/N didn’t look any less disgusted, and Danneel moved closer, resting her head against her shoulder as she clicked through the website.

“They don’t offer sex for one thing. Kissing at the most. They just rent out their company for events where you might need a date. It’s an escort service of sorts I guess, but it’s not about sex.” Danneel tilted her head to look up at Y/N. The cease in her forehead had gone, but she was still chewing her bottom lip in thought.

“I mean it could work. I guess it’s no worse than having to bring Gino,” Y/N said thoughtfully, making Danneel laugh again.

“Again, so telling him that.” She took a bite of the pizza, sending you a grin. “If you are worried we could pick one and I can give him a test drive with that fundraiser for work. They have been pushing me to bring a boyfriend,” Danneel shrugged.

“You’d do that?” Y/N reached out grabbing a hold of Danneel’s wrist, stealing a bite of her slice.

“Stop stealing my pizza, and I will,” Danneel laughed, hitting a giggling Y/N with a pillow.

The next few hours were spent cuddling and giggling, looking at the different pictures and descriptions of various man before they finally picked one they both liked. He was handsome as hell, but more than that, he just seemed like a good guy. His eyes were kind, and his smile in the picture was contagious. With a deep breath and a shared look, Danneel pushed the phone number of the page into her phone, calling up Jensen Ackles.

Please reblog; help me spread my work - Leave a comment. Feedback is fuel

Jenneel x Reader Tag Team

@roxyspearing @blacktithe7 @atc74 @mogaruke @fatalcrossbow @mrswhozeewhatsis @mysupernaturalfics @crushing83 @docharleythegeekqueen @feelmyroarrrr @theoriginalvicki @jensen-gal @mysterious-398 @ericaprice2008 @ashleydivine @canadianjelly @percywinchester27 @ruprecht0420 @jayankles @torn-and-frayed @becs-bunker @deanxfuckingadorablexwinchester @sandlee44 @blushingdean @smoothdogsgirl @ryantherandomhero @sillesworldofwriting @fandomoniumflurry @evansrogerskitten @thelittleredwhocould @carryonmyswansong @jadalecki-jackles @cassieraider @lonelygoldheart @akshi8278 @winchester-gospels-67 @freekryptonitecloud @read-the-reid @speakinvain @shaelyn102 @aubreystilinski @holyfuckloueh @destielhoneybee

Every Moment Tag Team (A Jenneel x Reader AU Series)

@daughterleftbehind

#jenneel x reader #jensen ackles x reader #jensen x reader #danneel ackles x reader #jensen x reader x danneel #danneel x reader x jensen #danneel x reader #spn imagine #jenneel imagine #jensen imagine #danneel imagine #spn series #spn au #spn rpf #spn fanfiction

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krystlind · 2 years

Text

I’m here.

Wow, I can’t believe it. I’m in my bedroom.. in my apartment. That I dreamt of. a walk away from the beautiful river, dog park outside, local coffee shop, my doggy here, and I’m decorating it beautifully. I have a car. I can go places. I have a tech income. I am building my podcast out. it’s working. I have a membership, and now fashion line with Silviyana.

God you are good. what else do I do with this? I just want to relish in it. and that’s okay. I feel so extremely blessed. I never gave up hope. that I can get to this place.

And I am proud of myself, because I feel that this past year, I had to learn, to be with myself while feeling rejected, and learning to give myself the believe, the assurance, the permission, the admiration, that I believed in what I was doing.

This person, the reaction that she was giving me, the deep comparison and not enoughness it enunciated, was just a reflection of something in me that wanted to come up and have space for. because by coming out so acutely, so aggressively, it forced me to be with it. those moments in miami, where i was in deep pain and heartbreak in my room, where i just had to cry to myself, by myself, and hold myself because no one knew, what I was going through, I couldn’t express sadness online, offline, because I had to be strong for myself after everything. the only person who knew was Jesus. who had walked with me all along. and me as my best friend. and I just let myself be held.

I’m proud of myself, for deciding, not to do something reckless, or distractive, but to get really grounded within. and ask myself, what do I really believe, that I am worth, and capable of doing and building? hide my identity in the Lord. that’s what Kim prompted me. that when I was feeling so in confusion about my identity, the rejection, I learned to just take refuge. Thank you God.

I love the feeling that kept me going, the Krystl/Sharde glimmer, glimmer of hope: it sounds like the score to “Maria”; or the Youtube video fo Sasha Cohen.

I think about when I tried out for the reality show, and it put me through something very private, how much I wanted it. I just wanted to be validated. I wanted to know that someone saw me. And I didn’t make it and it ultimately ended up being okay. because I thought it would be big enough for me.

but instead God took me through a different journey. I went back to Austin, the scene of the crime, reclaimed it, and all of a sudden it became a consideration for me to move back here. and I didn’t rush into NYC. And then I went back home, and learned how to be a family girl. learned how to be by myself truly, and be with my little sister. and serve my family.

I learned that no matter what hurts or pains happens, I can really be my own best friend.

And now more than ever, I do feel like I’m recognizing my power. I have this feeling, that says, unapologetically, “I know what I’m capable of. What I’m doing, no one can touch! very few people can pull this off.” and you know what. eff it, I’m going to own it! I do believe it and not in an ego-tistical way.

So since being here, I’ve experienced so many lovely things. we can go backwards:

this morning, had a moment of spark with some dude at the coffee shop. i know we were looking at each other. he didn’t say hi and it made me think about how we don’t have the social culture or male conditioning for that nowadays. i even stepped outside. I like that I do that. I don’t just wait. but create an “in” - i just wish said person can take advantage of that haha but gonna go there tomorrow and see what happens

today, dog park wtih Josie. ended up connecting on the last thing I ever thought someone would relate on. her ex husband had also had a weird twisted thing with hookers. we ended up talking so much, sharing how it’s so hard to share because it was disturbing and you feel crazy. anyways we’re both middle of sisters and I just really appreciated this connection. we’re both single, she’s smart and successful!

and then Ren came over today for wine and West Side Story! I just really appreciate this dynamic, she’s a wonderful girlfriend to have. just intellectual and we can geek out on film analysis and musicals.

I’m so thankful I’m bringing in friendships and girls that are matching my emotional maturity, stability, ambition and communication a little more. tomorrow doing work sesh with Mariam

Shayne from church reached out for coffee, set a date. I am touched that she is the one initating with me. I do believe it’s because they feel the frequency of love, inspiration, that’s what emit

Denise is ever the person that really sees me so much. I’m working through these things of holding space for her stories and realizing I’m feeling like my energy is being used, or I don’t have energy for the deep processing, but I realize that it serves as a model for me in my internal dialogue. so overall I am truly appreciative and humble that she processes that before me. and it helps me exercise that no, not everyone is out to get something from you. it’s all just humans, having connection and wanting to be heard.

Olivia also reached out to set coffee. it was nice to be in that small group at Chili’s. When Grant (by the way I remembered everyone’s names!) read out the Bible verses, it made me remember what that felt like. to have the sword of truth, the word, peace, read out loud. so refreshing. and other people surrounding and being filled by it, connecting to it, together. I love Olivia’s vivacious friendly energy. and I am excited to be connected with her.

A significant thing of course is Alicia reaching out to me. so crazy now we’re texting. I went through this whole back and forth emotional thing given she wasn’t answering me, after she reached out to me? I whined. and then Denise came over and helped me see, it’s not about her, it’s about this situation helping me see my fear and overcome it. I’ve also been praying to God about it. I love that as I was watching Love is Blind and they started praying, I stopped the show and just started giving it to God. And that’s how I’m persisting.. just give this situation to God Sharde. It’s not gonna be about the outcome. It’s an opportunity to be with what wants to be felt. not to get the right outcome. and i had this good feeling, that no matter what happens, if she replied or not, I knew how to be with myself and it would be okay.

I also cried out of no where to Denise last night. when I realized, all I wanted was to have a conversation. like I had been silenced or that my words or emotions were invalidated for so long. and then he got with her, and I just had to keep my head up, and be quiet again. she asked “what do you want? what’s the best way this can play out?” “that he acknowledges the past. that we can process it. that he says sorry, for what he did, and is sincere. that i can say sorry too.” and when she encouraged me to say outloud “I forgive you Clark.” and to say out loud “I”m sorry, please forgive me.” I was crying.

I guess the forgiveness is about if it was right or wrong. It’s about me letting go of something, I no longer want it to hurt me. The bitterness, the resentment, the blame. I don’t want it to hurt me anymore. I just want to be okay. and I forgive her too, for making those decisions. and I ask for forgiveness.

we all want grace. that’s it. we all want to know we’ll be accepted.

I am getting to this place of acceptance and admiration of who I am, for all I am. even the little impulses and habits and reprimand myself for. even the shadows, the irritating things. I accept myself. it feels better than always trying to scold me. this is me. all the great things I’ve gotten to, has also been because of those other parts.

I am so okay. with a slow build. I know I want to surround myself with people who see my superpower or have me feel the spark inside.

What i hold close to me, is the spark. the glimmer of hope. the sparkle emoji. it’s me. I am Krystl. As Shayne said, my name: represents openness. I am transparent. and I radiate light through my transparency. I do believe this!

I am not who I was a year ago. and she too, was very brave. I love her. she was doing the best she could. she was also, begging for a conversation. I wonder why that’s a recurring theme. I was standing in that living room, wanting that conversation, just to feel validated I guess? and humbled myself, it was time to go. you can’t demand something from someone who isn’t trying to be there. just let them go, let them have their process. and now I’m hoping to have this conversation with this girl, but at the end of the day. you can say, they are entitled to their own process. so am I.

I still always have a glimmer of hope. I love me and I think I am a badass warrior princess of heaven.

I am a Warrior Princess of Heaven! <3

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