#hope youre having a good day reminiscing about wandering around by the seven rivers of ossir or wherever

[lotrmusical]

I just did your lotr quiz and I told you in the free space I love ents and I got the "in the willow-meads of tasarinan " result and I'm like 🥺 thank you, your quiz made me very happy.

yay i'm glad you got an appropriately entish result!!

[legal-graffiti]

A little girl finds a ring, washed up on the riverside. She drops her toy boat on the silt shore, and stumbles over rocky steps to reach it. She wasn't sure it was a ring at first- only that it was shiny, and bright. She picks it up in her small hand, laughing to herself. It must be diamond, she thinks. After all, as a seven-year-old girl, she believes all rings must be diamond. A real treasure. She hears a voice in her head. The voice is clear and soft. Feminine. No distinct age.

This is for you.

"For me?" the girl asks. Nobody is nearby to hear. And even if they were, they wouldn't think it unusual. What child doesn't have a few imaginary friends?

Yes. What is your name?

"My name is Avon!" she says, excited to introduce herself to someone new. It doesn't occur to her that a voice that speaks to her must come from somewhere. She only cares that they are friendly. Usually there is no one to play with when she comes here.

That’s a lovely name.

"Thank you! What's your name?" Avon says. There's a pause where the answer should be. Avon doesn't register it, busy fiddling with her new gift.

My name is not important.

"Why not?" she asks, her face scrunched up in confusion. She looks up to the water, but of course, there is no one there.

I will tell you tomorrow.

"Okay," she says, and quickly forgets the matter. "Does this mean that we're married now?" Avon asks, with wide, owlish eyes.

That's very clever of you. Not quite.

"Can I keep this?" Avon tries putting the ring on, but it doesn't fit on any of her tiny fingers. She frowns.

Of course. It is for you. It will fit soon.

Avon lets out an over-exaggerated sigh at the idea of waiting.

"Okay. I'm putting it in my house. So I don't lose it."

Alright, Avon.

Avon grins and scrambles back over the rocks, eager to stow away her treasure. She looks back towards the river. The toy boat she left behind is still there, and Avon resolves to come back for it later.

When she does come back, the voice is gone.

Avon loses the ring among her toys, and soon forgets about it entirely.

~~~

"Avon, where did you find this?" her father asks in a startled voice. He had been cleaning through her room. Generally she was good about keeping her mess off the floor, but he was assured that it wouldn't spoil her if he helped every once in a while. Today, he found a ring- a blue, iridescent stone, set into a dark band. Avon hops over to where he's kneeled on the ground.

"The river gave it to me!" she declares proudly. Her father turns it over. It's pretty, but not much else. He turns to Avon, smiling fondly.

"So you found it by the river, huh?" Avon nods in responds. He holds it out to her. "Okay. Make sure you take good care of your things, alright?"

"Okay, dad!" she says, hoping to avoid a lecture. Luckily for her, there isn't one.

"Here you go." He chuckles and hands it out to her. When Avon has it again, she inspects it in much the same way she saw her dad do it. It doesn't make much difference, but it is endearing. She giggles and runs off with her treasure.

~~~

Avon grows older. She learns to take better care of her things. She doesn't hear anymore disembodied voices. The ring stays on her hand. Years pass.

~~~

Avon brings a girl to her house. Avon is nineteen, and in college. She's only visiting briefly. The other girl is older by two years, and her family is in the military, and Avon feels like she needs to impress her. She must not be doing a good job, because her father reminisces all afternoon about how she caused trouble at her Catholic school when she was young, and when the girl asks Avon what she used to do for fun, Avon takes her to the river.

"I found my ring here," she says with a half-smile. "Some voice from the river said they were giving it to me." The other girl wrinkles her nose.

"That's weird," she says, and then snorts. Avon shoves her shoulder against her side.

"You callin' my river weird, Mayim?"

"You're weird! That's definitely one of those memories that people make up." Avon blows raspberries at her. Mayim squats down on the shore. "I like your weird dad though." Avon kneels down next to her.

"Was it bad growing up with your parents?" she asks. No judgement, just a question. Mayim shrugs.

"Nah, we just moved around a lot, that's all. I'm glad you have a little place." Mayim pokes at the water as if that proves her point. The river just flows around her finger. She turns to Avon with a bright-eyed smile. "Okay, my mom though. Every once in a while she'd bring home one of those MREs, and I got so excited about it. Do you know I lost my mind when I found out people hated those things?" Avon mirrors her smile.

"Never had one."

"Chef Boyardee met cafeteria lunch," Mayim explains. Avon pretends to retch.

"Ew."

"You callin' my food weird, Avon?" Mayim teases. She sticks her tongue out and goes to poke Avon with the finger she put in the water. Avon backs away from her.

"Hell yeah, I am!" Mayim tackles her, and Avon's shoulders hit the ground. She grabs Mayim's wrists, but she doesn't quite stop her. Silt gets in her hair, and they just laugh at each other.

Mayim ends up staying the night, and Avon forgets she was worried about impressing her.

~~~

Avon rarely visits her father, and she visits the river even less.

~~~

One day she visits the river, but not her father.

Heavy footsteps draw towards the water. Her hands are clenched at her sides, and if it weren't for the tears on her face, she might even look angry. Avon walks to the shore. She pauses for a moment, as if she doesn't know where to go next. And then she drops to the ground. Avon pulls her legs to her chest. When she opens her mouth, she almost screams. Except there's no one to be angry at. Avon should only be angry with herself. She could've visited more. A shuddering breath escapes her lips. Air will not stay inside her. She must be drowning.

"My dad is dead," Avon admits to nothing and no one. Her voice is thick with tears, and she curls up into herself. Avon's fingernails claw marks into her arms, where they wrap around her legs. Her face is lost in her knees. "Now I have no one."

Don't say that. I'll always be here.

Avon stays there on the ground. Eventually her breath slows to even.

Something guides her forward. Avon crawls closer to the river. She takes off her shoes and her socks, and then rolls up her pants. After a brief hesitation, Avon puts her feet into the water. It calms her. She still has tears left to cry, but they are no longer bitter.

~~~

Years pass. The house is now hers, but Avon doesn't visit at all.

~~~

Mayim doesn't think about giving Avon a ring, especially since she has one already. The two of them don't care too much about traditions. Still, Mayim feels like she needs to impress her.

So she puts together five years worth of videos of them, and dates they went on a million years ago, and trips they went on together across the country, and footage of them playing pranks on their friends, and holidays shared with both of their families, and days spent doing nothing but being in each other's company. And then Mayim rents an entire theater and tells Avon that they're just going to see a movie.

When she realizes what it is, Avon is too stunned for words. Her father is in the video too, smiling kindly at the camera. It is just like she remembers, as if he is still smiling at her. She starts crying long before the movie is over. Before the screen fades to black and the lights turn on overhead, Mayim stands up and takes her hand. She's crying too.

"Avon," she asks, "Will you marry me?"

Avon squeezes Mayim's hand, and she's crying and laughing at the same time she says "Yes!"

Mayim forgets she was worried about impressing her.

~~~

The venue for their wedding is close to their hometown. There is one person who won't be attending.

Avon takes a while to hide from everyone before the ceremony. She ends up at her father's house again, still in her huge wedding dress. The furniture is covered in white sheets, and dust dances in the sunlight. It is like being inside an empty museum. Avon takes the covers off the couch in the living room, just to make sure it's still hers. The couch is just like she remembers it. She sighs. Avon puts the cover back on. She isn't supposed to be standing in her childhood home, still wearing a dress twice her size.

The back door swings with the breeze. Its handle must have rusted open while she was gone. Avon stares at the backyard for a while, as if she doesn't know where to go next. She wanders past the door. Once outside, the yellow-green grass sways high against her skirts, having been left to grow for so long. She heads down a familiar path, lined with skinny, tall trees. They give way to plain dirt, then stones and silt. The water sings as it spills against the shore.

Welcome back.

Avon startles.

Are you going to leave again?

"Why are you here now?" Avon says from where she overlooks the water. Nobody is nearby to hear. The voice pays her question no mind. "Who are you, anyway?"

An old friend.

Avon stands there, uncomprehending. She's been here so many times, but she was young then. The river hasn't changed, but Avon is unsettled to be here. The ring is still on her finger.

Do you think it's odd that I've known you for so long, and we've barely touched?

Avon winces.

"What's that supposed to mean?" There is a beat of silence. Last time she was here, her father had just passed away. Avon stares blankly.

Come back to me.

Avon walks to it, solemn. She ignores the water soaking into her dress, or the mud staining it. It becomes heavy to walk in, but she continues. She stays facing forward. She wants to find that voice. It hasn't changed at all. It's exactly the way she remembers it. She falls forward onto her arms with a shout. The lace rips. The mud spreads to her hair. Avon keeps crawling forward. For once, the voice's silence is a taunt. Avon keeps going forward, and forward and forward and forward and

~~~

A few days pass. A little girl finds a corpse in a wedding dress.

[saltbabypidge]

This fic was created as a pinch hit for the BKDK Katsuki Birthday Exchange 2020 as a gift to @kacchansass #bkdkbirthday

Happy Birthday, Kacchan

Summary: Izuku's trying to do something romantic for Katsukis birthday but Katsukis confused.

Fluff, reminiscing, BKDK, sexual situations.

A/N: Please bear with me, I had a small mishap where the cord to my laptop broke and I was unable to get my progress off of it before the battery died. I had to rewrite it from memory on my phone. The original will be posted when my new cord comes in.

*BKDK*

EDIT; I TOTALLY FORGOT. Minor movie spoilers. If you dont want to be spoilered, skip from Bakugou saying " That wasnt our first kiss..." and come back after the italics.

The sun filtered through the curtains, throwing highlights over dark green hair spilling across a black pillowcase. Bakugou Katsuki always made it his goal to wake up before his partner, claiming to like the peace and quiet, but in reality he liked watching the way Izukus nose wrinkled in his sleep. Today, his eyes were caught by his boyfriends freckles, he refused to admit it to anyone else, but to him they were like stars scattered across the sky.

His crimson eyes were soft as they glanced at the clock, growing wicked as he saw the time. The nerd had decided that they would start celebrating his birthday on the nineteenth, so they could have a whole day to themselves. He'd insisted that they be up no later than eight and it was now eight thirty. Katsuki leaned in, brushing a kiss over his boyfriends freckled cheek,, lips following his fingers as he brushed the wild fall of green behind Izukus ear.

" OI, DEKU!"

With a yelp and thud, the peaceful scene was ruined as Izuku flailed and fell in a tangled heap of blankets to the floor of their apartment. Some things never changed, and even after five years of being Pro-Heroes, and living together for four, he never failed to startled the shit out of his lover. Sometimes he wondered if Izuku had a blind spot where he was concerned, he was rarely taken by surprise by anyone else anymore. Blindspot or not, the ash blond would never get tired of the sight of his taller lover flailing like a fish. It served him right for having the audacity to be half a foot taller than him.

" What? Were we called? Kacchan why are you laughing..." Izuku was slowly trying to extricate himself from the blanket, sun warmed muscle dotted with freckles making an appearance as he untangled his arms. He would look like an oversized child as he stood, wrapped in their large quilt as he rubbed sleep crusted eyes, if it hadn't been for the scars that littered his body.

The birthday boy didn't bother answering, he just jerked his thumb at the clock, laughter dying out into a smirk as he watched bleary emerald eyes blink in confusion at the time then widen as coherent thought filtered in. He knew exactly when the light went on because those eyes widened in panic and his boyfriend launched himself towards the dresser, one foot trying to shake off the remainder of the blanket, like a puppy with a wet foot. Clothes launched themselves around the room as he dug through the drawers.

"Why didn't you wake me earlier? Get dressed, I hope we have enough time to do everything now, I tried to plan extra time in case we got distracted or called but..."

"Don't tell me what to do, I'm the birthday boy here, you better not forget that." With a cocky smirk, Katsuki tuned out his nerd as his words devolved into a mutter about time and plans, and the possibility of rain. The soon to be twenty-two year old had no idea what his boyfriend had planned for today, and of course he was fucking curious, but after the sheer disappointment on Dekus face the last time he'd ruined his own surprise, he hadn't even tried to dig. That didn't mean he wouldn't be an asshole. He made sure to stretch, loosening his muscles nice and slow before he started towards the closet to get dressed. He knew those deep green eyes were on him from the first crack of his neck, through the shoulder roll and into the lunge because the mumbled words had trailed into silence.

. " Aren't you getting dressed, De~Ku? We don't have much time right?" Katsuki said with a smirk before dropping his sleep pants and tugging on a pair of black jeans. He wasn't sure what was planned today, but with enough incentive he knew Deku would agree that birthday sex was in order today, as well as tomorrow. Their relationship may have evolved over the years, but they were both very physical people. They tested each other, got stronger and tested each other again, whether in their hero career or in the bedroom.

The blondes mind started to wander as he pulled his shirt over his head, only to have his thoughts interrupted by strong arms sliding around him, pulling him against his boyfriends hard chest. He tilted his head back, one pierced eyebrow raising at the taller male, the smile on Dekus scarred face was stupidly endearing.

" I never gave you your good morning kiss, Kacchan."

He was ready to roll his eyes- he didn't NEED a good morning kiss- when a large warm hand cupped his chin, tilting his head back into position for the taller man to press their lips together. He didn't need a good morning kiss, but he always wanted one. Stupid Deku always knew how to read him, even when he didn't want him to. The kiss should have been awkward, but they'd had years of practice, and their lips slotted together easily, the awkward position non withstanding. Even here, Katsuki was competitive, reaching up to fist a strong hand in his lovers green curls, taking control of the kiss. It was HIS birthday kiss after all, and he'd be the one in charge.

When they finally parted he licked his lips and pulled himself out of Dekus arms. He could feel himself going soft, warmth for his lover welling in his chest, and a smile tugging at his lips.

Bakugou Katsuki did not get soft when the sun was high in the sky. That was reserved solely for late nights and early mornings damnit.

" You're the one in the fucking hurry, get a shirt on and lets go." He knew Izuku was used to his swift mood changes, and the nerd was on some imaginary time crunch, so they should get going before he got even more time obsessed..

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was even brighter outside, warming the otherwise chilly spring morning. It flickered through Izukus curls as Katsuki watched him from the passengers seat of their rarely used car. He had no idea where they were headed, so he spent the time watching his boyfriend take turns like a madman. From their personalities, most people would think Bakugou was the reckless driver, anyone who had ever been in a car with the heir of One for All could attest to the opposite. Deku drove his car the way he drove through life, with sheer controlled chaos... Katsuki wouldn't want him any other way

Bakugou Katsuki was in love with Izuku Midoriya. He had finally admitted it to himself after they had been dating for three years. He was just bad at showing it in any normal fashion. Thankfully, the nerd knew him well enough to realize that he wouldn't get many " I love yous" from the explosive ash blond. His contemplation of his boyfriends faults were interrupted by a question.

" Kacchan, what do you want for your birthday?"

Broad shouders shrugged as Katsuki tilted his head to the side. " It's a little late to be asking me that, don't you think Deku~" He smirked. " My birthdays tomorrow. Anyway, I think I told you what I wanted last time you asked,or did you forget, loser" The green haired man flushed crimson as he stopped the car in a parking lot. Katsuki knew he was thinking back to last week when he'd asked that question for the hundredth time while they had been in bed. The crimson eyed pro-heroes smirk widened as he remembered the event himself.

----

" What do you want for your birthday, Kacchan?" Izuku had been sprawled on top of his boyfriend, knowing the other loved using him as a human blanket. Katsuki had become sick of the question. He didn't need anything for his birthday, so he hadn't even bothered to open his eyes as he moved, smirking as he answered.

"I have everything I want here in my hands"

Izuku Midoriya, six foot seven of broad muscle, and bearer of One for All had let out a surprised, and very unmanly squeak when he felt strong hands grip his ass roughly.

------

" Yeah, you remember. so stop asking." the blush had said it all. He watched as Izukus brow wrinkled thoughtfully, smoothing out as he turned the car off. " We're at our first stop. Katsuki looked around unimpressed, the lot overlooked the river, but he didn't see anything special about it. There had to be something, or Izuku wouldn't have the excited look in his eye. He wouldn't be grabbing Katsukis hand and dragging him towards the water, wouldn't be fucking LEAPING OVER THE SIDE and dragging the other with him. When they landed- they were pro's and taking a fall like that was nothing-the irritable blond smacked his boyfriend in the back of the head. " Warn me next time! Now what the fuck is to special about this pla...." He paused as he looked around, red eyes narrowing as the broken shoreline brought up whisps of memory.

---

"...You are a fucking idiot."

A soaked form in green was slammed against the ground with a muffled thud, wet curls sticking to a pale, freckled face as lips pressed hungrily together, relief mixing with adrenaline- ,

The newly minted Ground Zero felt like he couldn't get enough air. He had felt his stomach drop when he had seen his rivals limp body tossed over the barrier toward the water below. They had been chasing this villain for hours, and Deku had been taken by surprise. Katsuki had incapacitated the man with an aggressive AP shot and dove after his partner. The rescue had led to...

------

"....You're a fucking sap." Katsuki could feel his face heat a little at the memory. It hadn't exactly been their most shining moment.

" Come on Kacchan, it was where we had our first kiss..." Izuku was smiling as he slid an arm around his waist. Katsuki shoved at his chest. " Because you almost died, and I was a dumb teenager... and it wasn't our first kiss." He looked up at his boyfriend with a shit eating grin. Izuku crossed his arms, flustered again.

"I don't remember that one, Kacchan...."

Katsuki did. Visions of a different shoreline flickered through his mind.

----

Bakugou had landed hard, both of his arms were broken, so his attempts to get up resulted in him flopping like a useless fish. The pain was making his vision fade in and out, hyperfocusing on a mop of green hair. He could feel the thrum of Izukus quirk under his skin as he dragged himself painfully towards his rival. Bakugo Katsuki had dreamed of being like All Might as a child... The man who always won to save everyone, but not like this. Not with a quirk that was not his own...Not when Izuku wouldn't stand beside him. Having his rival as a foil had become important at some point. He rolled to his side, trying to lift his arm, he knew he needed dna to give the quirk back, but he couldn't. He was too weak. " FUCK this shit. take your quirk back you shitty nerd." the explosive blonde could taste blood on his lips and before he could think through what his exhausted brain had suggested, he was suiting though to action and lifting himself with his abdominal s to awkwardly press his lips against Izukus, cracked bleeding lips meeting cracked and bleeding lips as he thought hard about how much he didn't want this god damn quirk. He would make it to the top with his own power, or it wouldn't mean a damn thing....He hoped it was enough, he couldn't keep conscious anymore and slid off of his rival, darkness taking him.

----

"Yeah, you were out like a light. Fine. he'rs the first kiss we BOTH remember. Why are we here"

Izuku looked sheepish. " I was hoping maybe we could kiss here again, without the near death experience?" The shorter male leaned into his boyfriends reach. " Kiss me, and lets get out of here..." He hated seeing the shuttered look in Izuku's eyes, but he had had nightmares about the incident that had gotten them together for years. He cursed internally, nails digging into his palms as Izuku kissed him softly and they made their way back up to the car. Katsuki punched the car, causing startled green eyes to fly up to his face. " Look...It's cute, but I don't like thinking about you dying." His nerd nodded, shoulders still tense and unsure as he spoke. "The next place we can walk to...so lets get some fresh air."

Katsuki preferred walking if he could,so he nodded and fell in next to his lover, shoulders growing tenser, and teeth gritting in anger as the silence continued. He finally reached out to grab Izukus hand, squeezing it tightly, though he wasn't looking at him. Deku better understand. Katsuki hated PDA with a passion, a kiss or two was fine but he didn't hold hands...unless he thought Izuku needed it. Even after four years of dating, he did it so rarely the public sometimes forgot that the Wonder Duo were a couple at all, something he knew weighed on Izukus mind. Katsuki didn't think that they needed to shout it from the mountaintops, but he was almost ready to, to keep his nerd happy.

The landscape was becoming more familiar as they walked, and Katsuki sighed as they moved past their childhood homes, and Izuku headed towards the school. He moved so he was walking slightly in front of Izuku and crossed his arms

" What is this, a trip down memory lane?" The chaotic being that was his boyfriend and hero partner just gave him a sweet, disarming smile, pulling out two passes into the school as he answered. " Something like that." The explosion user was a little surprised at how well planned this was...whatever it was. At this point he was along for the ride, so he followed his boyfriend out past the school proper, past the dorms where a new class was training to be heroes. They walked, following a path he hadn't seen in years to the mock up of a city, it didn't look any different than he remembered, the place having been repaired time after time. So much had happened here for them...

"I got permission from the school to rent it..."

"Ground Beta..." Ruby eyes met emeralds as they were assaulted by memories.

----

"Fight me Deku" His emotions were in turmoil. He wasn't strong enough, Izuku had been the one All Might had chosen, not him...and Katsuki had been the one to cause All Might to lose his quirk forever.

Izuku was the only one who could accept and receive those feelings, the only one who could come near him in a fight, and Izuku had still lost to him.

Why? Izuku was weak, but he had been chosen by All Might...Katsuki was weak because he had been taken, but Izuku was weaker than him. The fight had been charged with emotion on both sides, it had been a crux of them overcoming the past and becoming true rivals...and eventually friends and lovers.

----

Katsuki could see the light of challenge blooming in his boyfriends eyes, and he could feel adrenaline pumping up his spine. They moved like two predators, Pro-heros in their own right as they squared up a few feet apart. It felt familiar, the surrounding, the energy between them, but this time it was without the weight of confusion and sorrow. And the dialogue was different.

"Fight me, Kacchan" Izuku stood, feet apart, hand out in a come-at-me gesture as he waited for Katsuki to make a move.The explosive hero could feel small crackling explosions lighting his palm, as the excitement got the better of him. If this was what Izuku had planned for his birthday present then he fucking accepted. It had been far too long since they'd had a decent spar.

" Come at me, Deku"

Those were the last words spoken until the end of the bout, knowing each other as well as they did, fighting as partners for so long, they knew what the other would be doing intuitively. It was more like a deadly dance than a spar...or, if you were them, foreplay.

Moving on some unknown signal, Katsuki shot himself forward with barehanded explosions, pivoting midair to launch a kick at Deku's head. He felt air whoosh by under him as the taller man ducked and rolled under him, bringing his arm back around to block the retaliating blow. Each blow was met with a counter. The ash blond smirked as an air shot scored a line of blood across his cheek, exes glowing with excitement as he launched himself back to avoid his incredibly fast lover. Narrowed, alert eyes flickered over the battlefield looking for any weakness in his opponent. He saw it before Izuku. Something small tumbled out of Izukus pocket and the idiot dived for it instead of blocking. Katsuki took advantage of his mistake and pinned him face down against the asphalt. He leaned over his boyfriends prone body to whisper in his ear huskily. " I win...again."

He wouldn't have seen the small shiver that ran through the larger mans frame if he hadn't been looking for it. Katsuki was definitely ready for some birthday sex, and from the soft noise that escaped his partner when he ran his tongue over the selfsame ear he had just whispered into, so was Izuku.

So he was floored when his lover pulled away and whipped around, hand out, as if to keep a beast at bay.

Katsuki wanted to growl at getting denied, but the situation was so...stupid he snorted.

"What's wrong, Deku? We've done it in more public spaces and never gotten caught...and I know you wish I'd fucked you here back then..." He moved towards Izuku, gravelly voice seductive. Izuku took another step back.

"Kacchan this isn't what I came here for...I mean it is...but...not..." He was fiddling with the small box that had caused his loss in the first place, then stopped, back straightning. " You...said what you wanted for your birthday...was me right?" His eyes were pleading and Katsuki realized he wasn't just talking about for sex. He growled and looked away, shoulders tense and emotions riding high.

"Yeah....I mean. I already have you, you stupid Deku. You're mine." He reached out and took Izukus free hand, fingers lacing with his. He wanted to know what had the other so nervous. " What is that stupid box."

Katsuki Bakugou had never felt more like an idiot in his life when his boyfriend slid to one knee in front of him and opened the box that he'd been fiddling with.

The box that had plainly been a ring box the whole time.

"So...Yeah. I'm already yours, Kacc....Katsuki." The green haired giant stumbled over the words and shook his head. " Kacchan...So I can't give you anything but more of me...for the rest of our lives." The world seemed to hold it's breath as terrified green eyes met his and it hit him like a tidal wave what this whole day had been about. Izuku was proposing.

Well...Fuck.

The ring sitting in the casing was actually two rings. Two halves of a whole. -Just like them- They were about as manly as engagement rings got, tungstun steel bands with a single gem set in each band, one emerald, one ruby.

The blond didn't know how to process this. Of course he was going to marry the nerd, he'd just assumed he'd be the one asking. He could see his hesitation feeding that stupid insecurity his lover still carried and reached out his hand to snatch the box. He pried the rings apart and handed the one with the green gem out to Izuku with a slightly shaking hand.

"Youre supposed to put this ring on my goddamn finger right? Now give me your left hand Deku." He slid the ring onto his boyfriends left ring finger with a gentleness that belied his rough actions, and felt the slim band slide over his knuckle as Izuku followed suit. He pressed his forehead against Izukus, eyes meeting as a smile flickered across Katsukis lips, before eyes closed and their lips met.

"Happy Birthday, Kacchan"

Katsuki pulled away from the kiss with a snort.

" Shitty nerd getting yourself the better present for MY birthday" Katsuki crossed his arms cockily, the ring on his finger glinting in the afternoon sunlight. " I know I'm just that awesome." He ran his tongue over his lips. " But you did get me one thing I wanted..." The explosive heros arms moved to pull Izuku to his chest. " So I guess it's not too bad..." His hands slid down to squeeze his boyfr...fiances plump ass. " What do you say we celebrate this by giving me the other thing I wanted..." His smirk grew as he felt a twitch against his thigh, even as his boyfriends voice raised an octave. " HERE?"

[kimabutch]

JLCR: kimabutch edition

To celebrate somehow reaching 1000 songs on Jam Like Critical Role, the giant fan-created playlist that I’ve been curating since February, I’ve decided to put together a mini-playlist of own, featuring two of my favourite songs for each member of Vox Machina and The Mighty Nein! Each song has a YouTube link, but you can find the whole mini-playlist on Spotify here.

By mini-playlist I meant that there are “only” 36 songs, and also that I’ve pulled out my favourite lines and explained why I associate the song with them, so that this whole thing is approximately 5400 words long. I tried to restrain myself, but, well, Jam Like Critical Role is a testament to my lack of self-restraint. If it helps, I’ve tried to incorporate a diversity of artists, eras, and genres, from folk-punk to techno, country, dream-pop, classical, and beyond. I hope you find something you enjoy.

Grog

We’re Going To Be Friends, Jack Johnson (cover of White Stripes), for Grog and Pike’s incredibly wholesome childhood friendship. While many of the lyrics describe friends at school, which is not totally accurate for them, I can just imagine the two weirdos playing among the bugs:

“Walk with me, Suzy Lee/ Through the park and by the tree/ We can rest upon the ground/ And look at all the bugs we’ve found”

Not to mention Pike teaching Grog his ABCs:

“Tonight I’ll dream while in my bed/ While silly thoughts run through my head/ Of the bugs and alphabet”

I just love these two silly monstahs.

Giant, Juno Reactor: to balance out that last song, have some techno that makes me want to yell “Vox Machina, Fuck. Shit. UP!” and split Kevdak in half with a nat 20 from the sky. Appropriately named for our goliath friend, this song always temporarily convinces me that I, too, am a seven foot tall barbarian (which is not recommended while you are trying to do anything that requires brainpower.)

Keyleth

I Lost Myself, Lauren Mann and The Fairly Odd Folk, for Keyleth’s self-doubt about whether she can do her Aramente (or whether she even wants to) and fear that she’s hurting everyone:

“I’ve got voices in my head Making me think that this is where I end Hey, what do you see, if anything What do you see in me”

This specifically reminds me of her Aramente, and how it taught her so much more than she was expecting:

“You and me we made a plan To travel from here to there and back again Somewhere on that weathered road I found the dreams that I’d been looking for”

And “Hey, we’ve got the world to see/ So let’s forget our anxieties and get on our way” makes me think of Keyleth and Percy’s friendship, and how both of their stories are about trying to figure out what to do once you’ve achieved your goals. I want to think that after the story ended, they were still occasionally able to leave behind their responsibilities and travel the world together.

Take Us Back, Alela Diane, for a post-canon Keyleth, reminiscing on the old days and eventually outliving the rest of Vox Machina. I get a strong image of Kiki coming down from Zephra to see her friends:

“Atop the crags and cliffs the air is thin/ So we’ll find a mountain path on down the hill/ Meet me where the snowmelt flows/ It is there, my dear, where we’ll begin again”

And of her listening to Scanlan’s music, centuries later; they’d be the last two alive: “I’ve a friend who lives out by the river’s mouth/ He knows the fiddle’s cry is an old sound”

And then Keyleth, alone, listening to a river’s gurgle or the wind’s howling, and almost thinking she hears her friends: “Muted voices, just beyond/ The silent surface of what has gone.”

Percival

The Devil Spoke Here, Chicken Little, which I think is actually about the aftermath of a protest, but which I feel works eerily well for Percy’s development following the Briarwood arc. The beginning reminds me of his guilt, feelings of brokenness, and anger issues after he’s cast out Orthax — right down to his guilt about guns:

“There’s bullets in the streets/ and broken dishes on the floor/   enough anger in my heart/   to take the blame for it all/   I could take every bullet back/   if I could never feel like that”

It also covers Percy’s realization, after his conversation with the Raven Queen, that he’s free from the judgment of the gods, and acceptance that he’s the one who has bad thoughts for the greater good:

“I have no god for guidance/ still I’m praying all the same/ may everything I do/ be done for everybody’s gain”

And then this, for a reason that I can’t quite explain, feels so much like Percy’s forgiveness of Ripley at Glintshore, and his death at her hand:

“May we always fail/ with the best of intentions/   with our hearts always pure/   and our souls only human”

Wandering Star, Portishead: the weird trip hop vibe to this song somehow feels appropriate to Percy, and in particular to his darkest thoughts. The song addresses the possible punishments for these thoughts: “Wandering stars, for whom it is reserved/ The blackness, the darkness, forever.” It helps that this is an allusion to a Bible passage about atheists.

The second verse makes me think both of Percy’s relationship to the concept of eternity (because of the “needle’s eye” — a parable about the entrance of heaven for the rich) and his raven mask:

“Those who have seen the needle’s eye, now tread Like a husk, from which all that was, now has fled And the masks that the monsters wear To feed, upon their prey”

Additionally, “Doubled up inside/ Take a while to shed my grief” is reminiscent of Percy’s revelation, in the last episode, that he just really fucking misses his family. This whole time, something inside of him has been curled up into a little ball like the teenager he was five years ago, grieving his family.

Pike

Holy, Jamily Woods: a song about self-love and self-assurance, underscored by Christian imagery:

“Though I walk through the darkest valley I will fear no love/ Oh my smile my mind reassure me I don’t need no one […] Woke up this morning with my mind set on loving me”

Many of the lyrics can be interpreted either as the singer being self-sufficient because her god is there — or being sufficient even beyond her god: “I’m not lonely, I’m alone/ And I’m holy by my own.”

I think both interpretations work for Pike: that she has found (or is attempting to find) peace when she’s not with her friends, or that although she worships Sarenrae, the Everlight doesn’t necessarily interfere in her day-to-day life and she makes her own happiness. Either way, the song makes me feel at peace in the same way that Pike does.

The Otherside, Ohbijou, for Pike’s feelings about Scanlan during the year gap. Particularly, I’m reminded of Pike’s attempts to talk to Scanlan on the earring: “With things left unsaid so unsatisfied/ And a burning to hear your voice just one more time.”

And in these lyrics:

“And it’s so silly for me to worry/ About situations that don’t exist/ We create these problems and try to solve them/ Why waste each passing moment?”

I hear Pike trying to figure out her feelings for Scanlan, but shooting herself down because he’s gone, why even try?

Scanlan

The Pilgrim - Chapter 33, Willie Nelson (cover of Kris Kristofferson), which really encapsulates, for me, Scanlan’s complex relationship with religion: the fact that a guy who regularly produces lightning from his dick, messes with people’s memories, and actively attempts to cultivate a drug habit finds himself praying to the Everlight at night and eventually becomes Ioun’s chosen:

“He’s a poet, he’s a picker/ He’s a prophet, he’s a pusher/ He’s a pilgrim and a preacher/ And a problem when he’s stoned”

The lines “He’s a walking contradiction/ Partly truth and partly fiction” reminds me of all the identities he’s taken on, both for fun and to shield his emotions from his friends, whereas “Taking every wrong direction on his lonely way back home” makes me think of Scanlan’s long road back to Vox Machina after leaving them.

Handle With Care, Traveling Wilburys: almost every single song on this album works for Scanlan, so choosing just one was a real challenge. But this song is so good for all the shit that Scanlan’s been through (and all the shit that he’s been), and his relationship with Pike through all of that:

“Been beat up and battered around/ Been sent up, and I’ve been shot down/ You’re the best thing that I’ve ever found/ Handle me with care […]”

“Everybody’s got somebody to lean on” reminds me of Scanlan’s feeling, in episode 85, that he’s the odd one out in Vox Machina.

The last verse encapsulates Scanlan acknowledging his own fuck ups, working to make them right, and eventually, having a healthy relationship with Pike:

“I’ve been uptight and made a mess/ But I’ll clean it up myself, I guess/ Oh, the sweet smell of success”

Taryon

Father and Son, Cat Stevens, for Tary’s relationship with his father and his decision to leave home; the song is a duet of sorts. I think the father’s part of the song is a little generous for Howaardt Darrington, but retains the message of (somewhat condescendingly) trying to keep his son at home and have him reconsider his far-reaching plans: “I know that it’s not easy to be calm/ When you’ve found something going on.”

The son’s part, though, captures Tary’s frustration with his father’s strictness and inability to actually understand his passions:

“How can I try to explain?/ ‘Cause when I do he turns away again/ It’s always been the same, same old story/ From the moment I could talk/ I was ordered to listen/ Now there’s a way and I know/ That I have to go away”

And the last verse is some real closeted gay feelings that always make me tear up:

“All the times that I cried/ Keeping all the things I knew inside/ It’s hard, but it’s harder to ignore it”

What’s It Gonna Be, Shura, not so much for the song’s lyrics, but for its music video, which is all about falling for a different gender than you expected, and which is incredibly sweet and beautiful.

That being said, you could definitely take the lyrics to be about his crush on Percy and his obliviousness about who in Vox Machina is sleeping with whom:

“Do I tell you I love you or not?/ 'Cause I can’t really guess what you want/ If you let me down, let me down slow”

Vax’ildan

Glorious, Muse, for Vax’s early relationship with faith. He can’t help but feel drawn towards Sarenrae’s light, even as he has doubts and perhaps even anger towards the gods:

Faith: It drives me away/ But it turns me on/ Like a stranger’s love It rockets through the universe It fuels the lies and feeds the curse And we, too, could be glorious”

He wants that glory that he sees in Pike, but he doesn’t know how to approach it or reconcile it with his life experiences. And then he finds his whole world shattered as he’s chosen by the Raven Queen, and he once again has to find faith, though in a way that he never expected:

“I need to believe But I still want more With the cuts and the bruises”

Fields of Gold, Sting: a song from Vax to Keyleth. I can imagine them so perfectly in this scene, perhaps during their year of downtime, with the winds of Zephra blowing through the fields and their hope beyond hope that they’ll be able to stay together:

“Will you stay with me? Will you be my love?/ Upon the fields of barley/ We’ll forget the sun in his jealous sky/ As we lie in fields of gold”

“See the west wind move like a lover so/ Upon the fields of barley/ Feel her body rise when you kiss her mouth/ Among the fields of gold”

Years later, Vax knows that Keyleth will see those fields again and think of him: “You’ll remember me when the west wind moves/ Upon the fields of barley.”

Vex’ahlia

Half Jack, The Dresden Dolls: a truly haunting song about the pain and unavoidability of being her father’s daughter — she’s always half Jill (her mother) and half Jack (her father.) The whole song is incredibly painful for Vex, and the lines:

“It might destroy me But I’d sacrifice my body If it meant I’d get the Jack part out”

always makes me think of “If I could pull the blood of you from my veins and give it back, I would.” Also,

“But if you listen/ You’ll learn to hear the difference/ Between the halfs and the half nots”

reminds me of her asking Percy if she looks like she comes from money — or a younger Vex, in Syngorn, gradually realizing why everyone looked down on her and Vax. Lastly, isn’t “I see my mother in my face/ But only when I travel” absolutely heartbreaking for her?

Fall Down or Fly, Lindi Ortega, only partly because Lindi Ortega strongly resembles my headcanon for Vex. The other part is because of my abiding love for how Vex learned to fly, and how that worked with her character arc: from the first time, in the Briarwoods arc, that she discovered her love for flying, to her flaunting convention and stealing the broom, to Percy modifying it for her, to her friends cheering her on with chicken target practice, and finally to her soaring through the skies with confidence. And the song captures that so well for me, as well as her decision to keep going even when her father, Saundor’s words, and her own self-doubt bring her down:

“This is your life/ You can fall down or fly/ You can burn out a shot if you want/ This is your life/ You can live it or die/ You can quit now or try if you want/ But don’t you give up, don’t you give up”

This also reminds me of how much all of Vox Machina adores and supports Vex (and I will join them in crying about how awesome she is):

“You said what is there to lose?/ Do it if you choose/ I got faith in you/ Everything you do/ I know you are gonna make it to the top”

(I also maintain that a modern Vex would be really into country music, particularly the genre of country song in which women tell people to fuck off.)

Vox Machina

Call Them Brothers, Regina Spektor feat. Only Son, for Scanlan’s departure from Vox Machina and the whole team’s attempts to deal with it. I first heard this song in an absolutely heartbreaking TAZ animatic, and my pain increased exponentially when I realized how much it also worked for Critical Role. It’s perfect, in my opinion, for the sense that their family, which has seen them through so much, is irreparably broken — “That’s it, it’s split, it won’t recover/ Just frame the halves and call them brothers.”

But then you also get “Over and over, they call us their friends/ Can’t we find something else to pretend?” for Scanlan’s insistence that Vox Machina doesn’t really care about him, and “Find your fathers and your mothers/ If you remember who they are” for “what’s my mother’s name?”

Maybe this should go on Scanlan’s playlist, but I think “The hunt is on, everyone’s chasing a shot” also works for the way that the rest of Vox Machina independently searched for Scanlan during their year of downtime… and the feelings of defeat in the song just feel appropriate to the whole group.

(I actually have a playlist full of songs for episode 85, because I enjoy making myself sad; it took a lot of effort not to put them all here.)

Freaks, The Hawk in Paris: I can never decide whether this is a Mighty Nein or Vox Machina song, but I’m putting it here mostly because “If you come along with us, the doors are never ending” is absolutely hilarious in for Vox Machina’s single greatest enemy.

That, and there are a lot of lines that work for individual members of the group: “We have a flair for the shade and the inbetween” (Vax); “We like to run with the wolves from the darker scene” (Keyleth); “When we turn the safety off, the shots are automatic” (Percy); “All our friends tell their friends we’re so dramatic” (Scanlan); and “We’ll make you swoon, make it hurt just a little” (Vex).

Additionally, “We have a plan, we’ve got the means for your liberation/ You’ll only have to blur the lines on a few occasions” makes me think of the Briarwood arc, and I makes me think of Percy dramatically revealing his identity to the priest — and cut to Grog pulling out a guy’s tongue.

Anyways, if I learn to make AMVs by the time that the animated series is released, this will be the first that I’ll make.

Beauregard

Saint Simon, The Shins, for Beau’s escape from the Cobalt Soul. The song expresses frustration at weighty intellectualism and how much it doesn’t teach you — which i think is something Beau felt strongly with her monk teachers:

“After all these implements and texts designed by intellects/ So vexed to find, evidently there’s still so much that hides […] Since I don’t have time nor mind to figure out the nursery rhymes/ That helped us out in making sense of our lives”

So she tries not to care about anything because it’s safer that way (“The cruel, uneventful state of apathy releases me”), and she runs away:

“I’ll try hard not to give in, batten down to fare the wind/ Rid my head of this pretence, allow myself no mock defence/ Step into the night”

I think the last part of the song could also work for her meeting the Mighty Nein and starts understanding friendship and love: “Mercy’s eyes are blue when she places them in front of you/ Nothing really holds a candle to the solemn warmth you feel inside you.”

Jonas and Ezekiel, Indigo Girls, because what kind of lesbian would I be if I didn’t put at least one gay-written song on Beau’s playlist? This one is about road trips, wandering, and looking for a purpose:

“I left my anger in a river running Highway 5 New Hampshire, Vermont, bordered by College farms, hubcaps, and falling rocks Voices in the woods and the mountaintops”

But also contains one verse that I think fits her strict family, her new family in the Mighty Nein, and the “devils” — or tieflings — of which her family would certainly not approve:

“Now when I was young my people taught me well/ Give back what you take or you’ll go to hell/ It’s not the devil’s land, you know it’s not that kind/ Every devil I meet becomes a friend of mine/ Every devil I meet is an angel in disguise”

And something about this reminds me of her journey into Xhorhas and attempts to uncover conspiracies and work out the truth: “In the war over land where the world began/ Prophecies say it’s where the world will end.”

Caduceus

Born at the Right Time, Paul Simon, for Caduceus’s belief in destiny and his place therein. The chorus describes his occasional naïveté, and the happiness of his life in the Blooming Grove, with his family:

“Never been lonely Never been lied to Never had to scuffle in fear Nothing denied to”

And then gets into his conviction that his goddess and the world itself put him where he is:

“Born at the instant/ The church bells chime/ And the whole world whispering/ Born at the right time”

The very chill vibe of the song is also very Clay, to me.

Happy All the Time, Danny Schmidt: the singer himself has said that he doesn’t know whether or not this song is ironic and/or melancholic, so I’m going to go with a sincere and cheerful interpretation for Caduceus, with maybe a hint of nostalgia for more peaceful days among his family. It’s got some incredibly lush and occasionally strange nature imagery that I think is perfect for him:

“I took the time to breathe cause I was happy all the time/ Among the rootbuds and the weeds cause I was happy all the time/ But the peat moss and the leaves took turns with both my feet/ Until my toes took root and I was happy, I was happy all the time”

I think Caduceus is still happy, but he was definitely at peace as a hermit.

Caleb

I Miss That Feeling, Tennis: a song about panic attacks and how the physical effects, when described, almost seem like falling in love. It works not only for Caleb’s panic attacks, but also, relatedly, his relationship with fire, which scares him, even as he likes the way it feels — “Something like pleasure, you’d never believe it.”

The fiery way that the singer describes panic attacks is also very Caleb:

“I miss that feeling/ Flicker hot and hovering/ Like my own discovering/ Eagerly, tenderly/ I miss that feeling/ Flicker spread into an itch/ Into a burn, into a twitch/ Slow and even”

It brings me back to the first time we saw it, in the gnoll mines. Also, “Every little thing starts trembling/ Recorded by the needle of an EKG” feels very reminiscent of his hospitalization, though from a modern perspective.

Putting the Dog to Sleep, The Antlers, for Caleb’s very tentative trust in the Mighty Nein, and in particular his friendship with Beau. I think this song really encapsulates Caleb’s pain and skittishness, especially near the beginning of their campaign, as well as his desperation (unknown even to himself) to love again:

“Well, prove to me I’m not gonna die alone/ Unstitch that shit I’ve sewn/ To close up the hole that tore through my skin/ Well my trust in you is a dog with a broken leg/ Tendons too torn to beg for you to let me back in”

And this feels like something that Beau would say to Caleb — upfront and caring all at the same time, reminding him that his actions affect everyone else and asking him not to run:

“You said, ‘I can’t prove to you you’re not gonna die alone/ But trust me to take you home/ To clean up that blood all over your paws/ You can’t keep running out […] Kicking yourself in the head/ Because you’re kicking me too.’”

By the end of the song, Caleb is starting to believe her, and even asking her to trust him: “Put your trust in me/ I’m not gonna die alone… I don’t think so…”

Fjord

Release the Kraken, The Daysleepers: I added this to Fjord’s playlist back when everyone was speculating that his patron was something kraken-like, and even now that this is clearly not the case, I think it still works for Uk’otoa (Uk’otoa) and his attempts at freedom: “It pulled the ships down/ It’s rising from the deep below.”

But also for Fjord’s relationship with Avantika — for his attempts to get close to her in order to save himself and his friends:  

“Turn the lights down Careful as a serpent’s tongue Move without a sound Gentle as the cold wind moans”

I think “When you sold love/ Your heart becomes a monster” is some of what Fjord felt after those encounters: like he gave part of himself away.

21st Century Child, Daggy Man, for Fjord’s self-hatred and the masks he puts on. Many of the lyrics could fit several characters (particularly Beau, Caleb, and Scanlan), but

“I hate the sound of myself/ When I’m being honest/ Sounds like somebody else/ And I don’t wanna listen/ To the whinings of a 21st century child”

just perfectly captures his feelings about his voice and his past self — weak and whiny, and not who he wants to be. And then we get these lines, which feel like a good summary of his issues with identity and deception:

“And I’ve struggled with how/ Others perceive me/ And I can’t tell if I’m better/ Or just better at deceiving And I’ll keep going until I’m called out”

Jester

The Sweetest Sounds, Ella Fitzgerald (cover of Richard Rodgers), for pre-stream Jester barely waiting for her exciting life to begin. I first heard this song in Rodger & Hammerstein’s Cinderella, and while there is something fairy-tale-like about Jester, I think this upbeat, jazzy cover fits her well:

“The most entrancing sight of all Is yet for me to see And the dearest love in all the world Is waiting somewhere for me”

I can just imagine a 10-year-old Jester listening to the band at the Lavish Chateau play this song, dressing up in Marion’s clothes, and pretending she’s in a storybook romance.

One Hand in my Pocket, Alanis Morissette, which really captures her beautiful complexity:

“I’m free, but I’m focused/ I’m green, but I’m wise/ I’m hard, but I’m friendly/ I’m sad, but I’m laughing”

because Jester is so many things all at once, and none of them negate each other. It’s so hopeful (“What it all comes down to/ Is that everything’s gonna be quite alright”) and comforting (“What it all boils down to/ Is that no one’s really got it figured out just yet”) in a way that really reminds me of my favourite blue cleric.

The whole song has such a fun, free, summer vibe that always makes me smile — just like Jester.

Mollymauk

Carnival Overture, Antonín Dvořák (Leonard Bernstein & New York Philharmonic Orchestra): one of my favourite pieces of classical music ever — when I hear it, an entire music video about a carnival plays in my head. The exuberant theme that bowls you over from the start reminds me of Molly’s effervescent, ostentatious personality.

The slower and quieter part in the middle with the violin and woodwind solos gives me a picture of Molly and Yasha sitting alone in the evenings just outside the carnival encampment, cuddled together — Yasha talking about her wife, Molly telling jokes, and the both of them making up names for constellations and flowers. Then the quick-paced minor section makes me think of the bloodhunter tiefling in combat, deadly with his swords and vicious mockery — before the return to the joyful, triumphant original theme.

Wonderful Everyday, Chance the Rapper & The Social Experiment**: this is sort of a cover of the Arthur theme song, but in the absolute best way possible. The meandering, loose, and extraordinarily happy vocals always remind me of Molly’s way of living.

Although some of the lyrics are more optimistic than Molly (I think he’d laugh at “Everybody that you meet/ Has an original point of view” and say that their points of view are usually bullshit), the message of appreciating every single day is just wonderful for him.

And the last bit hits me like a ton of bricks:

“And when I go down/ I'ma go down swinging/ My eyes still smiling/ And my heart still singing”

“Eyes never shut,” indeed.

**not on Spotify, sorry!

Nott

The Sore Feet Song, Ally Kerr: at first it appears to be a simple song about traveling long distances to find your love, which certainly describes Nott’s search for Yeza: “I walked ten thousand miles, ten thousand miles to see you/ And every gasp of breath I grabbed at just to find you.”

But the second verse is where it really gets into Nott’s thieving, rat-eating, badass ways:

“I stole ten thousand pounds, ten thousand pounds to see you I robbed convenient stores cause I thought they’d make it easier I lived off rats and toads, and I starved for you I fought off giants bears and I killed them too”

I love this strange little goblin.

Fox in the Snow, Belle & Sebastian: this song has always been a bit of a mystery to me, but the lyrics remind me of Nott’s intense vulnerability after she was transformed into a goblin — and in particular her self-image as something animalistic:

“Fox in the snow, where do you go/ To find something you could eat?/ Because the word out on the street is you are starving/ Don’t let yourself grow hungry now/ Don’t let yourself grow cold”

The second verse, which switches to describing a human girl, reminds me of pre-transformation Veth, more acceptable in body but no less socially ostracized than Nott:

“Girl in the snow, where do you go/ To find someone that will do?/ To tell someone all the truth before it kills you/ Listen to your crazy laugh/ Before you hang a right/ And disappear from sight/ What do they know anyway?”

I can just see that exact scene play out with a young Veth, right down to the “crazy laugh.” I’m glad she found Yeza, but she must still have been pretty lonely without any other friends.

Yasha

Into the Barrens, Grizfolk, for Yasha’s years of blank wandering after Zuala’s death. This song fits Yasha so well that for months, I somehow tricked myself into believing that Ashley had put it on her playlist. But I feel like this encapsulates her hopeless feelings, away from all society, not living for anything or anyone:

“Cast me away, my shadow’s cold/ Into the barrens where I will grow old/ Well, I’m not looking for answers/ And I’m not looking for gold”

And I can see this verse for the beginning of her relationship with the Stormlord, following voices she can’t understand as she wanders, barely alive:

“The voices in my head/ They echo in the wind and I begin to sway/ I follow what they say/ I can’t see their eyes, but I hear howling through the haze”

Dreams, Fleetwood Mac: technically a break-up song, but I can’t help but think of Yasha’s ever-present guilt and her memories of Zuala when I hear:

“Listen carefully to the sound of your loneliness/ Like a heartbeat drives you mad/ In the stillness of remembering what you had/ And what you lost”

The storm imagery also works for Yasha — “When the rain washes you clean, you’ll know” makes me think of her fight with the Stormlord on the boat, which allowed her to open up to her friends. And it touches on Yasha’s opaque dreams (“Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions/ I keep my visions to myself”).

(Ally and Stevie also have a lesbian mash-up of Dreams and Rhiannon, two of the gayest Fleetwood Mac songs, that I associate strongly with Beauyasha.)

Mighty Nein

Old Black Train, The Blasting Company (from Over the Garden Wall): trains don’t exist in Exandria (yet! — Percy or Taryon should get on that) but this is more of a metaphor for life. It reminds me of the Mighty Nein setting out from Alfield, not knowing the twists and turns they were going to face, the places they’d go, nor the family they’d become:

“This journey is a long one/ It will take you all around/ Life rushing by your window/ Before it lays you down”

Then there’s this verse:

“Oh come on now young stranger/ Weren’t you someone’s son? How’d you find this depot 'Cause it ain’t where you belong”

which feels very appropriate for many members of the Mighty Nein, separated as they are from their families and wandering in lands that aren’t welcoming to them. There’s also a verse that’s reminiscent of the graveyard they passed on the way to Zadash, which more and more feels like a portent of things to come:

“You will pass a graveyard/ Stones worn by the years/ The train’ll stop a minute but don’t let it leave you here”

Sailing, Leisure Cruise: another song about transportation, although this one is a little less metaphorical. As you can probably guess, I associate it with their adventures on the Mystake and the Ball Eater, which begun by total accident but which, in my opinion, was a turning point for the group, and ultimately helped them grow closer together:

“And to our surprise we’re sailing The high seas in the middle of the ocean […] We’re sailing the wildest mystery And to our surprise we’re happy and free”

Okay, so maybe “happy and free” is a bit of an exaggeration for that arc (particularly for poor Nott) but I think there were a lot of moments in which the Mighty Nein learned unexpected lessons about themselves.

And I think this is a good summary of the Mighty Nein’s modus operandi: seize every passing opportunity, because you don’t know what tomorrow will bring:

“Maybe it’s today Maybe it’s tomorrow But we have to make a play Or the chance will fade away”

And that’s a wrap! Thanks for listening and reading. Love you all <3

[monsters-under-the-willowtree]

The Forest Walk: Bonito Part 1

A story about finding maybe a little more than you bargained for while out bird watching in the forest near your home

Male Monster + Ungendered Reader 2000 Words

The metal chain-link gate clinked shut behind you, a cheerful sound that was reminiscent of after school sports and watching your friend’s baseball games. The early summer sun had just peeked over the treetops, bathing the world in yellow and lighting up the tender new growth of the forest in verdant green.

Caticaw National Forest was an enormous stretch of land known to be the ancestral home of many ancient creatures. There had been years of debate over whether or not it would be a National Forest or a Reservation but since this particular stretch was mostly home to solitary creatures or small family groups with no system of government on their own it was finally decided that having Forest Rangers and the National Forest Service helping out was the best solution for everyone. Humans and Paranormal alike. Technically this particular gate led into private land but the owner was the founder of the town and all were welcome to enjoy the natural beauty of the place as it bled into the government land behind it.

This private / public gate that led onto the private / public land was no ordinary gate either. It was absolutely covered in little locks. Much like the River Seine and other places around the world this gate had become a traditional place for lovers and best friends and family to come and place a symbol of their commitment to staying “locked” together. Your mother had placed a lock here with your name and your brother’s name engraved on it in the hopes that maybe a little superstitious luck would help you two stay close even with a seven-year gap between your ages. Who knows if it helped or not, you had a pretty good relationship even if there was a lot you didn’t really see eye to eye on. Even after so many years of it being here you couldn’t help but look for it every time you came to this simple latch gate.

And come here, you did. Rather frequently in fact. There were all kinds of neat plants and animals on the property but with so many of them being terribly skittish you had learned to take along a set of binoculars or else miss out on some pretty spectacular sights. One in particular had caught your eye the previous week. You could have sworn you had seen an albino deer but by the time you had fumbled the binoculars into place the white deer-shaped speck was nowhere to be found. So now you were back and eager to see if maybe the specter had been more than just a trick of the light.

A cool breeze ruffled your jacket but the day was already growing pleasantly warm. Soft dirt tracks lazily trailed their way through a grassy meadow where you accidentally spooked a family of pheasants, across a wooden bridge that carried itself over a mossy lake, and back into the dappled shade of the old forest. The soft crunch of undergrowth under your feet adds to the singing of the songbirds and the rustling green leaves create such a relaxing atmosphere that it’s hard not to stop and sit for a while. But you’re on a mission. And there will be time to stop and smell the wildflowers later.

One hour. Two. Three hours of walking and looking hasn’t been exactly in vain. You’ve seen and heard plenty of birds, played peek-a-boo with a weasel, and followed a little family of bunnies around. You’ve found multiple fantastic walking sticks and traded up several times. Patted a fat bullfrog on his little head. And even pocketed a cool rock. But no deer. Not even the usual kind, much less a white one. You’re about to call it a day when you see something through the trees.

Something B I G.

It’s hard to make out, even with the binoculars, but it’s earthy in color from what you can tell (not bear colored or any of the local big predators colors) so you leave the dirt trail and slink towards it as quietly as possible. The creature is on the move, meaning that it takes some time to catch up with it, but when you do your breath is stolen.

Beautiful green feathers with huge blue eyes cascading down its back into a regal train that just barely brushes the forest floor. Wings that look big and long enough even tucked against its side, to be mistaken for a surfboard. A long graceful neck that leads up to a petit head crowned in trembling little bobbles of feathers that dance with each step the Avian takes. His face is perhaps a little broader than a normal Peacock’s head would be, his jaw a little squarer, but he mostly looks like a very, very, VERY large bird. At least 5 foot 8, which might not sound as massive or intimidating as some other creatures but for a bird with razor sharp talons and a beak to match he was just as intimidating as he was stunningly gorgeous.

He had spotted you before you had spotted him and he eyed you keenly from one of his beady side-placed eyes. His body posture, the way his wings were held just a few inches out to his sides, indicated that he was prepared to fly if you posed any threat to him. Still, from this angle he looks nothing short of a prince. The way he carries himself has the most regal air to it you almost drop to one knee out of respect. And then, realizing that it probably wouldn’t hurt anything, you act on that impulse. Slowly, of course, you don’t want to spook him. Then, when your knee sinks into the undergrowth and he still hasn’t taken off, you find the wherewithal to speak.

“Hi... my gosh you’re so pretty.”

He preens under the compliment, reaching his long neck around to run his beak through a few of his feathers that he has deemed not quite perfectly placed. A quick inspection of the remainder of his feathers completed he resumes his regal airs and holds his beak high.

“Thank you.” His voice is a bit of a shock, you’ve never met an Avian before. Or any sort of talking bird before. It has a vibrating quality to it that reminds you so distinctly of listening to an older radio that you can’t help but glance around and see if maybe there is one nearby. You wouldn’t have expected a voice that reminds you of the TV robot character Bumblebee from someone so lovely and so clearly not robotic. But you clearly saw his beak move and since there doesn’t look (or sound) like there is a radio nearby you must assume that he really did speak to you. And so you tell him your name.

“I am Bonito,” he returns. This makes you grin and your chest hurt a little with the effort of keeping your giggles in. It’s a fitting name, but still a tad unexpected. 

“Bonito means ‘beautiful’ in Spanish. Is your family from Spain or Mexico?”

“My mother was a traveler before she settled down here with my father.” He stalks closer and now that you are close enough to really see him it is obvious that he walks with a terrible limp. You can help but gasp and ask if he’s hurt. The narrowing of his eyes is a bit unexpected but after a moment of looking you over he seems to decide that your question is genuine and he sighs, hobbling over to you so you can see his leg. There on his ankle is a lock just like the ones that are hanging on the gate you pass through to get here. It’s too small and by the way his delicate ankle is swollen around it, the foot beneath discoloring.

“When I was a child I had a friend that lived in the town nearby. We were kids, young and stupid. They told me about the gate and the locks and one day just before their family was moving away they brought one with them for us to lock on the gate together. A token of our friendship and a hope that one day we would see each other again. We joked a little about how small my legs and feet were compared to the chain link fence and just to tease they slipped it around my ankle. I did not realize that there was no key to it and clicked it in place so I could pretend it was a beautiful bracelet. It wasn’t until later that we realized my mistake. They wept bitterly and tried to convince their family to stay one more day so we could get it off. Their parents could not be swayed. And so they were taken away. It has not been a bother to me until recently. I am finally big enough to outgrow the lock and I am afraid that soon I will either lose my foot to my own stupidity or lose my life to something hungry and without my same limp.”

“That’s terrible.” Your heart aches and you reach out to carefully turn their ankle from one side to another so you can get a good look at it. “Why didn’t you come into town and ask someone to help?”

“It isn’t our territory,” he explains, even though that doesn’t make as much sense to you as it does to him. The confusion on your face makes him sigh again, this time with a wince as one of your fingers carefully moves the lock a little. “I am not one of the Fair Folk. But many of the Avian here live together with them. Their traditions have become our traditions. We follow their rules, not necessarily because we have to but because they are good to us and protect us and we’ve been in the same area for so long that it wouldn’t be right to break them. There’s too much iron in the lock for them to help and too many rules about just wandering into a human town to ask for help for me to get help from anyone.”

His voice croaks a little at that last sentence. Even if you don’t quite know how to read his emotions on his strange face it’s clear enough that he’s upset about the hopelessness of his situation for it to tug at your heartstrings.

“Can you fly?”

He shrugs with his wings. “I can but not forever and landing on one foot is a lot harder than you might think. I could break my only good leg if I do it wrong.”

You squint down at the lock and tighten your lips, thinking and determined. “Can you fly closer to the town? I can go get some tools and bring them back here. I suck at lock picking, but I can try it. And if that doesn’t work then I can try cutting through it... actually it would probably be faster to just go straight for cutting through it. I really don’t think I could pick it.”

For the first time Bonito looks at you dead on and you can’t help but laugh at how different his face looks. No longer regal or majestic, he looks more like the most confused, baffled, wide-eyed, ruffled bird you have ever seen. You of course apologize profusely for laughing. And even if it maybe doesn’t sound as genuine as you would have liked over the fact that you can’t stop giggling while giving the apology, he does accept it. He agrees to fly himself closer to the town nearby the fence and wait for you there. And you simply cannot get home fast enough, hands practically shaking while you and your father gather tools from your home and then drive to your grandfather’s home to borrow a few more so that you have the best chance possible of saving Bonito.

[tarralin]

Scarlet

Fox Hunt, Chapter Seven

(Board gifted by @under-sengoku-skies)

Enjoy!

~*~

Having started on a particularly stubborn weed, Mitsuhide's hand froze at her comment.

“Oh, yes,” she mused darkly at his unspoken questions. “I know you’ve watched me during my nightly trainings.” MC watched from her peripheral vision as he sat straight as his kneeling position would allow. She forced herself to look casual while she continued to pluck weeds but she feared even he could hear her heart pounding against her chest.

“Only to verify you weren’t a certain ninja spy who managed to slip past the guard.”

“I’m sure,” a humorless snort. “Look, I’m not angry. I’m not prudish or modest.” Years attending public gyms in bike shorts and sports bras saw to that.

“So you're in the habit of allowing others to witness you in such a state?” His gaze fell back to the weeds before him at the same time that teasing gleam returned to his eyes.

“Oh, dear Kitsune, is that a bit of jealousy I hear?” She laughed openly at the bundle of stems he tossed her way, purposely missing. She stood to her feet to gather courage before continuing onto the hard part. “Anyway, in all honesty, if it were anyone else then they would be dead already. I don’t mind if it's you.”

~*~

There she goes again. Why must you say such things, little Harpy?

“Is that so?”

“It is…” She shifted her weight between the balls of her feet while she waited for a response, running a hand through her hair the whole time. Silently, Mitsuhide processed and savored her nervous gestures in much the same way Masamune often savored his own creations. Only among the crowds of last night's festival has the little Harpy shown anything close to fear in the near month of her residence. He already knew a polite smile and shrugged shoulders signaled her lies. He knew she rarely allowed herself to become flustered, choosing instead to ground herself with squared shoulders and a glare that possessed such intensity even Nobunaga had conceded to her once with a flippant attitude. Not that he would ever admit to it of course.

And here she is, opening for me alone.

The realization stirred wildly within him, rattling the very foundation on which he stood as if she truly were the ocean’s fury incarnate. A sudden cough and clearing of her throat brought him back to present.

“It's midday… and I should--”

“There you are, Princess!” Hideyoshi’s voice carried across the garden, stirring Mitsuhide enough to affix the normal mask he showed the world. “No one saw where you went last night and you weren’t in your room or attending to the renovations.”

“Well, call off the search party, you found me!”

Hideyoshi’s features screwed into his usual chastising scowl for the briefest of moments before his gaze took in the newly cleared garden. “You did all this?”

“Still shocked at our Lady Chatelaine’s capabilities? And here I thought you knew her better.”

“Nah,” now it was her turn to tease. “He still hasn’t seen me make good on the promise I made him that first day.”

Hideyoshi sighed. “When you said my blade would rest in my throat if I so much as flinched toward it in your presence again?”

“That’s the one.”

“You know the whole town knows about that? Just who would have spread that around, Mitsuhide?”

“I'll be sure to inform you of the culprit once I find them,” he knew Hideyoshi would let it go as that particular story endeared the Chatelaine to many of the townsfolk. A fearless Oda Princess promising death upon their Lord's most loyal vassal immediately upon her arrival… what wasn’t to love about that?

“If you’re going to lunch,” Hideyoshi continued, effectively changing the subject. “I was hoping to take you to the teahouse. They have a broth that helps with any after effects you may be feeling from last night.” Hideyoshi’s gaze softened when landing upon MC in a way reminiscent of when he speaks with his town girls. Mitsuhide knew she recognized it too by the ever so miniscule spark of disbelief in her eyes. Well, Harpy, what’s your choice?

She didn’t need to speak. Her hand running through her hair once again told him enough.

“Oh, sorry my friend, our Chatelaine had just agreed to allow me to escort her.”

“Yes,” She jumped at the rouse a little too happily. “Er, Mitsuhide helped so much here in the garden and I was just offering to pay him back when you came up.”

“Oh, well, okay,” Hideyoshi stammered at the obvious dismissal. “Great. Be sure to try that soup if you need it.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Hideyoshi’s infamous furrowed brow returned as he stalked off. Once he passed out of hearing range beyond the garden wall, MC dissolved into a belly deep fit of laughter. “Like that will ever happen.”

“Oh, dear, if he only knew where your interest lies… I think he would be truly heartbroken.”

“And there are plenty of ladies in town ready to mend it I’m sure.”

“So to lunch?” He lifted his hand to her just as he had last night. Whatever the Harpy was expecting, it mustn’t have been a serious offer when he allowed her an escape from the castle hen. As sure as the sun shined down on them at that moment, there was a dusting of scarlet crossing her features beautifully. First across her cheeks and then traveling down the back of her neck.

In the time since she was brought to the palace, he had witnessed her in almost every setting and had thought he knew all of her possible expressions as she kept herself so guarded all the time. He'd seen her smug, furious, flushed from sake, red from laughter, exhausted from daily chores, and annoyed by the constant romance attempts from soldiers and generals alike. Then last night he became privy to her finally dropping that solid wall of hers and experiencing her driven mad with desire had almost been his own undoing… but this?

This was new. And so very interesting. He wanted to remain here and soak in every detail of that exquisite coloring he suspected she’d never allow out in the open again. Better yet he—

No, he forced those thoughts away. It would do no good thinking on that now. There was still so little information known on the harpy, it were as if she had been dropped in the temple from thin air. He knew nothing of her home or why she was-

But, as she accepted his hand warmly, Mitsuhide couldn’t find it in himself to care.

~*~

He didn’t know when it started, exactly, but the new routine was a welcome change. It became an unspoken rule to seek each other out for meals when they weren’t already in a shared vicinity. Lunches were in town on rifle training days or his manor when Tamba required his attention. If they were not preoccupied with a war council, dinner was always in the garden so they could continue the clearing project afterward without the oppressive heat if the day.

It surprised him, at first, how easily he relaxed in her presence. Now, he never questioned and welcomed it even. He could feel the tension release from his shoulders with only a brush of her hand in passing. Her songs soothed his soul as easily as the first rains of spring quenched the starved earth. She sang while completing solitary tasks and twice he found himself settled against a wall out of her sight absorbing every lift and drop of her voice. She sang most when her mind drifted deep in thought.

Like now.

They had just completed their project of clearing the garden and her head rested on his thigh while she sang a new song he hadn’t heard yet. Dark tendrils of hair flowed through his fingers like a darkened river as he traced them along her scalp in slow strokes, just another part of the new routine he enjoyed immensely. Her gaze focused on nothing in particular and that, in addition to the song, called to him more than any plea ever could.

“What has you so indecisive?”

“Hmm?” She blinked back up to him.

“Your eyes are wandering and I've yet to see you to falter on a choice.”

“Oh,” scarlet colored her cheeks a fleeting moment before she intertwined her fingers in his and her shoulders squared as much as they could against the porch boards.

Hmm, that means nothing good.

“W-well,” she started hesitantly. “The war seems to be coming to a head finally...”

“Yes?” He promoted when she trailed off.

“And… I'd originally planned to return home once it was over.”