recetasdecocinaconpollo-blog

[dragoncarrion]

Someone gave me a link to the earthspark eps :malicious:

[callboxkat]

Infinitesimal (part 57)

Author’s note: Happy Monday! Sorry for the delay on this. I was trying to decide which direction I wanted to take one of the scenes. 

Warnings: arguing, fear, sleep deprivation, illness and injury mention, hospital mention, food mention, nsfw mention, crude humor, stalking mention, Remus, Logan is Stressed

Word count: 4300

Infinitesimal Masterpost!

Writing Masterpost!

...

“Are… you okay?” Virgil asked warily. Logan was acting very strangely.

For a moment, he wasn’t sure if the human had even heard. He just lay there on the floor, unmoving. Then, finally, he responded, his voice an indistinct mumble.

“Mmm. Tired.”

Virgil glanced at his companions. Emile and Patton both looked much more concerned than afraid at this point, although it was clear that they were far from relaxed.

He frowned, turning back as the human’s breathing deepened, and a quiet snore came from his direction. Had he actually just fallen asleep on the living room floor, in the middle of their conversation?

“Logan?” Emile asked hesitantly.

The human didn’t respond.

“Great,” Virgil muttered, eyeing him.

Patton sat up a bit, releasing one of Virgil’s hands to rub at his own shadowed eyes. “Is he okay?” he asked, his voice cracking.

“He’s just sleeping,” Virgil said.

“No… no, I know. I meant… Roman. Is Roman okay?”

“Logan said he’d be home in a day or two,” Emile said. “It sounds like he’ll be fine.”

Patton sniffled. “Just… Logan seemed….”

Virgil glanced at the human again, then gave Patton a reassuring look. Leave it to Patton to care about a human, of all things. “Let’s focus on you. We can’t do anything about Roman. Are you feeling better?”

Patton took a second, then hesitantly nodded. He took a shuddering breath and let it out. “It’s gone,” he said, glancing towards where Emile lay. Virgil realized he must have been talking about the box.

“It is. And I won’t let him, or anyone else, put it back. I swear.” The promise felt bitter on his tongue—he’d made it before, and hadn’t been able to keep it when it mattered. At least he’d gotten Patton out as fast as he could; and his friend was, at least physically, okay; but that didn’t change the fact that he never should have been put in the box in the first place

Patton, the sweet guy he was, didn’t bring up Virgil’s failure, and instead only nodded again. Maybe he just needed to believe that Virgil could protect him.

“Do you think you can sleep?” Virgil asked. Patton looked exhausted, between the stress of everything and his lack of rest the night before. “We can go back over to Em, and you can lie down.”

“…You?”

Virgil closed his eyes momentarily, sighing. “I don’t think I can sleep with Logan here, to be honest, even if I tried. I’ll sleep later, though, I promise.”

Patton nodded absently, and Virgil grabbed his crutch. He led his friend back to their bed at Emile’s side, and Patton lay down. Virgil waited for him to get comfortable, then went to grab some food from the supplies the humans had provided. Judging by the fact that Logan had just passed out on the floor, they probably weren’t getting lunch for a while; and they hadn’t had breakfast, either.

When he returned, he handed some of the dried fruit he’d grabbed to his brother, keeping the rest for himself. Patton was either already asleep or close to it, so Virgil decided to wait on giving him his share.

“Thanks,” Emile murmured.

Virgil gave him an acknowledging glance, then moved to sit on Patton’s other side.

Logan hadn’t moved.

Virgil sat back and took a bite of dried mango, his eyes on the still form on the floor.

…

Logan woke to the sound of knocking. He turned his head to the side, scrunching his eyes shut, then opened them, confused. Something was wrong. He wasn’t in his bed: the surface he lay on was far too hard. As if that wasn’t confusing enough, the ceiling above him lacked its usual star stickers. He wasn’t even in his bedroom.

“Am I on the floor?” he asked himself.

“Yes,” a voice informed him.

He looked up. Two small figures watched him from the table opposite him. Virgil and Emile.

“Are you going to get the door?” Virgil asked. “They’re going to wake up Patton.”

Logan blinked, then pushed himself up into a sitting position. He glanced at the clock, rubbing sleep from his eyes. He must have been out for nearly two hours, although he didn’t actually remember falling asleep. Clearly, he hadn’t made it to his bed. That fact, even as tired as he was, surprised him. Normally, he had a very difficult time sleeping anywhere other than his own bed. The fact that he had managed to do so in the middle of the floor was… telling.

He turned back to Virgil, and started to get to his feet. “Um… yes, of course I’ll get it.”

“Don’t let them in here,” Virgil said, as if that needed stating.

Logan simply nodded absently, straightened his clothes—he desperately needed to change into something other than pajamas—and walked to the door of the apartment. He smoothed down his hair, adjusted his glasses, and opened it.

His landlord, Joan, stood there, wearing an evergreen-colored beanie that almost but didn’t quite match their sweater. Their eyes flicked to Logan’s own atypical outfit before resting on his face.

“Hey, Logan. Merry Christmas,” they said, holding out a pair of candy canes with a slightly awkward smile. “I’m a day early, but I figured nobody would want to be bothered tomorrow. Plus, it’s never a bad time for candy canes.”

“Thanks,” Logan said, accepting the presents. Each candy cane had a curly green ribbon tied around it. They tickled where they brushed against his hand.

Joan shifted, watching as Logan briefly stepped away to set the candy on the counter. “Uh, while I’m here… I guess there’s not point pretending I’m not… well, curious isn’t exactly the right word. Worried, I guess. Can I ask what happened last night? I saw an ambulance, or something, I think; and I thought I saw you outside with them. Is everything okay?” They glanced around the kitchen, and Logan was silently glad that it was impossible to see into the living room from this angle.

Logan folded his arms, glancing down. He’d expected the question. “Roman had an asthma attack last night, and I had to call the paramedics. He’s in the hospital now. I came home to get some of his belongings for him. I’m sorry if the ambulance disturbed you.”

Joan looked shocked, their eyebrows nearly disappearing under their beanie. “Oh, f—my gosh; that’s terrible!”

Logan gestured around the kitchen. “They didn’t damage anything, I assure you.” He paused, then, remembering the box of polished rocks that Roman had knocked down, and the fact that he had slipped and fallen on some of them. “There might be some scratches on the floor of one of the bedrooms, but that’s it.”

“Logan—no, that’s not why I’m here. I don’t care if they punched a hole in the wall. Is Roman okay?”

Logan took a deep breath, steadying himself. “He should be. They got him stabilized. He’s going to spend the next day or two in the hospital, though, just to be safe.”

Joan grimaced. “That’s unfortunate.”

“Agreed. I’m sure he’d rather be home.”

“I’d hate to spend Christmas in the hospital. Please give him my best, will you?”

Logan glanced away. He didn’t care much about Christmas, personally; but he knew that Roman was fond of the holiday. “Of course.”

“At least it sounds like he’ll be okay. That’s good news. Is there anything I can do for you guys?”

Logan paused. “I don’t believe so.”

“Okay. Well, I’m here for you. If you think of anything, just let me know.”

“Thank you, Joan.”

Joan lingered for a moment, nodded to themself, and stepped back. “Have a good day,” they offered, smiling sympathetically before walking away, presumably to deliver more candy canes.

…

After Joan left, Logan wandered back towards the middle of the kitchen, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. He took a second to reset, let out a long sigh, and strode over to the cabinets. He put together a quick lunch for himself and the “mouse-men”—just toast with jam, nothing fancy—since they hadn’t gotten to eat earlier.

He carried the “mouse-men” their portions of the meal, and set the dishes down as quietly as he could. Still, Patton stirred, earning him an unhappy look from Virgil.

“Sorry,” Logan mouthed. It seemed he couldn’t do anything right.

Emile looked at him with what seemed to be a sympathetic expression, although it was entirely possible that he imagined it. Logan simply straightened back up and crept out of the room, hopefully without disturbing them any further.

Alone again, Logan took the chance to hop in the shower, get dressed, and brush his teeth. By the time he was ready to gather the supplies he’d promised Roman, he felt much more like himself.

Roman’s backpack was perfect for the job, after Logan had removed its usual contents and stacked them neatly on the desk. He put in Roman’s favorite blanket first, folded and rolled up at the bottom, followed by his wallet, which he zipped up in the front pouch. He grabbed one of his pillows next, which he left to the side of the backpack, and then moved to Roman’s dresser for his hairbrush, eye mask, toothbrush and toothpaste, and a pair of fluffy socks, among other items. He left Roman’s phone on the charger for the moment, but he snatched the earbuds that had been knocked to the floor.

Logan was still figuring out how best to fit everything in the backpack when he was interrupted by a knock at the door. He frowned, setting down the hairbrush he was holding. Had Joan returned for some reason?

He walked down the hall and into the kitchen, pausing by the doorway into the living room to offer a placating gesture to the “mouse-men”. Then, he strode to the door, straightened his glasses, and opened it.

The grinning young man who stood there was decidedly not Joan.

“Finally!” he said. “This’s gotta be like the tenth time I’ve stopped by! I was starting to think you’d never answer!”

The man at the door had familiar, curly dark hair, freckled brown skin, and rich brown eyes. He looked practically just like Roman, except with double-pierced ears, crooked front teeth, and the beginnings of a mustache and beard. He also had a patch of hair just above his forehead which grew white, in stark contrast to the rest of his nearly-black hair. Poliosis, Logan absently registered, or possibly vitiligo. Bleach didn’t seem likely, given the asymmetrical shape and precise edges.

Logan stared at the man for a second, processing, then said, “…You must be Remus.”

The young man—Remus—quirked an eyebrow teasingly. “Oh, you’ve heard of me?” His voice was also very similar to Roman’s; but it was slightly more nasal, a difference which Logan suspected was purposeful. He didn’t seem at all surprised to see Logan at the door, so he must have known that Roman had a roommate.

“I know of you,” Logan confirmed. He looked the visitor up and down. “Why are you here?”

“Can’t a guy come see his brother for Christmas?”

“Well… of course; but why come here, rather than see your parents? I thought…” Logan trailed off, unsure how much Roman would want him to say here. He really didn’t know much about the animosity in Roman’s family. Was it one-sided? How much did it involve Remus, if at all? Would Roman want his brother here? He didn’t know much about his roommate’s twin, other than the fact that he existed, of course. And that he had apparently decided to show up on their doorstep, unannounced, for Christmas.

“Ah, they suck,” Remus was saying. “I mean, Roman’s pretty lame, but he’s not like that.”

Logan was unsure how to respond to that, so he didn’t.

“Anyway, where is that dork?” He giggled, seemingly unable to contain himself. “You know, dork, like a whale—”

“He’s not here,” Logan interrupted, before Remus could finish that sentence.

Remus tilted his head comically far, like a dog listening. “Why not?”

“He’s… preoccupied,” Logan settled on.

Remus squinted, straightening up, and bobbed forward onto his tiptoes before settling back on his heels. “You’re lying,” he declared. “Is he here? Tell him the attractive brother is here!” He tried to look around Logan, without much success. “Rooooman! Stop making your roomie lie for you! That’s not nice! Come out, come out, come out!”

Logan sighed, adjusting his grip on the door. “Please lower your volume. Roman is not present to hear you, but you will disturb the neighbors.” And the “mouse-men”, but even stressed and sleep deprived, Logan knew better than to mention them.

Remus pouted; but he did stop shouting, which was appreciated.

“How did you even find this apartment?” Logan asked. “I was under the impression that Roman hadn’t shared its location with his family.”

Remus waggled his eyebrows, his slightly off-kilter grin returning. “You’d be surprised what a little internet stalking can turn up.”

Logan frowned. “…Ah.”

“What’s your name, by the way? Kinda unfair that you know mine and I don’t know yours.”

“It’s Logan.”

“Ooh, like a nerdy Wolverine.”

“…I suppose.”

“So, are you going to drag Roman out here for me, Nerdy Wolverine? I came all the way out here to see him!”

Logan hovered uncertainly, trying to decide what to do. “Remus… would you mind waiting here for a moment? I’d like to call your brother.”

“Can’t I wait inside?” he asked, pouting. “It’s boring out here, and I really have to pee. I promise I won’t break anything, no matter how fun it looks to smash.”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t know you, and I’d like to speak with Roman first.”

Remus sighed, tugging on one of his earlobes. “Fine, go ahead.”

Logan closed the door, locked it just in case (Remus seemed… rather odd), then went to Roman’s room, where his roommate’s phone sat on the nightstand. He typed in the passcode, which Roman had given him at the hospital, and dialed his own number.

It rang a few times.

“Hmm?” a sleepy, breathy voice answered. “Lo?”

“Hi, Roman. Sorry if I woke you. How are you feeling?”

“Better,” he responded. Logan heard him shift, and the beeping of the heart monitor in the background. “You… coming back… soon?”

“I’m glad you’re feeling better. I’ll be back in a little while, I’m just getting the stuff you asked for together. But Roman, I wanted to ask you…” He sighed. “Well, Remus is here.”

“…Remus?”

“Yes. He showed up at our apartment, looking for you. I’m not sure what to tell him.”

Roman was silent for a moment.

Logan tapped his fingers on his leg. “Also, I just wanted to check—he’s not… violent, is he? His behavior so far is somewhat concerning.”

“No,” Roman said quickly, clearing his throat. “No, he’s not… he’s just… weird, like that…. He doesn’t… have much… of a filter.”

That was reassuring, but Roman still hadn’t said what he actually wanted Logan to do about his brother’s presence.

“Should I ask him to leave?”

“Um… wh… why’s he there?”

“He said he wanted to see you for Christmas.”

“Why?”

“Because he is your brother, I would assume, and it’s common for families to want to get together to celebrate holidays such as this one. Do you have a preference for what I should tell him? I understand if you don’t wish to see him, and I will follow whatever your decision is.”

Roman coughed away from the phone, then returned. “Did he… did he say… why he’s… not….?” He trailed off

“Why he’s here, and not with your parents?” Logan suggested, not wanting Roman to overexert himself.

Roman made an affirmative noise.

“He, ah, he claimed that your parents quote, ‘suck’.” Logan glanced towards the open bedroom door. “In the interest of honesty I should tell you he also said that you were ‘lame’, but, quote, ‘not like that’. He did not explain what he meant by ‘like that’.”

Roman didn’t respond, although Logan could still hear his breathing. There was a quiet thump.

“Roman?” Logan asked, raising his voice slightly.

There was a shuffling noise. “Mm, sorry,” he mumbled.

“What would you like me to do about Remus?”

There was another long silence, and Logan was about to ask if Roman was still there, when he finally responded, “Later.”

“You’ll tell me your answer later, or you’ll see him later? I apologize, but I really do need an answer now; he’s waiting at the door as we speak.”

“See ’im.”

Logan looked down at the floor, where several members of Roman’s rock collection still lay scattered. “I’ll have to tell him about your asthma attack, in that case��is that alright? I’m unsure of any course of action to avoid that. Unless you want me to keep him away until you come home.”

“Mm… ’kay.”

“Okay. I’ll ask for his contact information so we can tell him when you’re ready to see him. I’m on my way with your things.”

“S’you,” Roman mumbled.

“I’ll be seeing you, too. Get some sleep.” Logan ended the call, slipped the phone in his pocket, put the charger in Roman’s backpack, and brought that and the pillow back to the kitchen.

He set the items on the counter, then reluctantly turned to the apartment door. He was sure an uncomfortable conversation waited just beyond it. Not wanting to put it off longer than necessary, Logan strode over to the door, unlocked it, and pulled it open.

Remus was sitting on the hallway floor, his legs spread out, on his phone. He looked up as the door opened.

“Specs, you came back for me!”

“I did.”

“So? What’s the scoop? Can I come see Mr. Too-Cool-to-Answer-the-Door?”

Logan sighed. There was no good way to have this conversation, he supposed. He might as well just get on with it. “Remus… there’s something you need to know.”

Remus’s manic grin slipped. “He doesn’t want to see me.”

“No, it’s not that,” Logan said. “It’s… well, Roman really isn’t here. He’s in the hospital.”

Remus’s eyes widened, and he got to his feet. “He’s what?”

“He had an asthma attack last night. He should be fine, but he’s in the hospital now, and he’ll stay there at least until tomorrow, possibly the day after.”

Remus’s mouth was agape.

“I didn’t mean to spring this on you—I didn’t have Roman’s permission to tell you before.”

Remus’s expression hardened. “I want to see him.”

“I’m afraid you won’t be able to until later—"

“No, no, no, no. I want to see him now. Take me to see him. He’s my brother; you don’t get to tell me I can’t see him!”

“Remus, he’s asleep right now. He didn’t get any rest last night, and he’s quite exhausted with everything going on. I doubt he’s up to having visitors.”

Remus glared for a moment, then deflated. “You’re going to see him,” he pointed out, folding his arms. His eyes flicked to the counter behind Logan, where Roman’s backpack sat.

“…I am,” he confirmed. “To drop off some things he requested, no more.”

Remus was tugging at some loose threads in his jacket sleeve, still clearly agitated.

“I told Roman I’d collect your contact information. That way I can text you when he’s ready to see you.”

Remus had already created a new hole in his jacket, although the jacket had quite a few others to match. “Fine,” he said. He tapped a few things on his phone and thrusted it at Logan, who fumbled to take it. The screen was cracked in several places, a few bits of glass missing from one side. The page to create a new contact was pulled up. Logan silently typed in his information and handed the phone back, then passed over Roman’s as well, for Remus to put in his own information.

“I’ve got Roman’s cell at the moment,” Logan informed him, as Remus turned it over to inspect the Aladdin phone case, “but I’ll text you from mine later.”

Remus frowned. “Why’ve you got his phone?”

“He has mine. Our departure from the apartment was rather… hurried, this morning, and his phone was left behind.”

“Hm.” Remus typed in his info. “Well, as long as somebody texts me. Or I’m coming back here and breaking the door down.”

Logan took the phone back. “I don’t doubt it.”

“…You did say he’s okay, right?”

Logan slipped the phone in his pocket. “Yes. They got him stabilized. They simply want to keep him overnight to monitor him. He’s on oxygen, and he’s in no state to be running any marathons, but he will be fine.”

Remus let out a long breath. “Good.”

“Has he had attacks like this before?” Logan asked. “That put him in the hospital?”

“Hmph. Well, there was one when we were like ten or eleven. His face turned purple.”

Logan’s eyes widened. “Wow… that’s… unideal.”

“I called him Grape for like two years after that,” Remus shared matter-of-factly. “He called me Stinkbug for revenge.”

“Oh.” Logan glanced at the time on Roman’s phone. “Well, it was a pleasure meeting you, but I really should be going. Roman will be expecting me.”

Remus shifted where he stood. “Sure, yeah, overstaying welcomes and stuff, but can I come in first? I still really, really have to pee, and I feel like my d*ck’s going to explode, or just pop off or something, and that would be tragic, really, because then what are my boyfriends and I supposed to do?”

Logan blinked, unimpressed.

“…Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“I really do have to pee though. Please? It’ll take like two minutes, tops. Pinkie promise.”

He offered his pinkie finger, which Logan didn’t take. He debated for a long moment, thinking of the “mouse-men”, then reluctantly gestured him in. “Fine, come with me. The bathroom’s this way.” He stepped back, allowing Remus into the apartment and hoping he wasn’t making a huge mistake.

Remus bounced in, glancing around. He whistled. “Ooh, nice digs!”

“The bathroom’s just this way.” Logan led him down the hall, more or less shuttling him along so that he didn’t get a chance to look too closely at anything—or rather, at one room in particular.

“Ooh, I get an escort? What are you hiding in here, a meth lab or something? A sex dungeon?” He squinted. “Or is it a mad scientist lair? You look like a mad scientist.”

Logan made an effort not to look towards the living room. “I simply don’t make a habit of letting near strangers wander about my apartment, whether or not they be related to my roommate. I don’t mean any offense.” He stopped outside the bathroom door and gestured for Remus to go inside.

Remus hopped in, turning around to grin at Logan. “Hope you hid the sex toys!”

Logan frowned as the door thudded shut in his face.

…

Logan slipped Roman’s backpack over his shoulders, and picked up the pillow. He was almost ready to leave, although there was one more thing he needed to do first.

Still carrying Roman’s things, Logan stepped into the living room. All three “mouse-men” were awake now, and they watched him as he approached. Patton leaned on Virgil’s shoulder, who sat beside his brother’s bed.

“So… who was that?” Virgil asked, his tone pointed. He was clearly angry but trying to hide it, although Logan doubted it was for his sake.

“Roman’s brother,” Logan said. “Remus.”

“Since when does he have a brother?”

“I’ve never met him before,” Logan explained. “It didn’t seem relevant to mention someone who I didn’t personally know or expect to meet.”

“So you just let someone you’ve never even met wander around in here, where they could have seen us? Even after last night?”

Logan winced. “I was with him the entire time. I wouldn’t have let him come in here.”

“What, were you going to body-slam him if he tried? Drag him out and hope he didn’t wonder what was in here you were so desperate to keep him from seeing?” He glanced at Patton as he finished, and let out a frustrated breath, forcing himself to relax.

Logan sighed, rubbing at his eyes.

“Virgil,” Emile murmured.

“What? You were just as scared as I was.”

“Maybe, but….” His next words were too quiet for Logan to make out. Logan just stood there as they whispered to each other, hugging Roman’s pillow to his chest and looking vaguely towards the window. Finally, Virgil shook his head, looking away, apparently persuaded to stop arguing for the moment.

Meanwhile, Patton yawned. “You—you brought a p-pillow this time,” he said hesitantly.

Logan blinked, and then realized that Patton was trying to make a joke. He forced a small smile to his lips as he turned back to the “mouse-man”. “I did,” he confirmed. The smile faded. “It’s for Roman; I’m just about to bring him some of his belongings, to hopefully make his stay in the hospital more comfortable.”

“Are you okay?” Patton asked.

Logan swallowed. “Yes, I’m quite alright. I apologize for earlier. That was….” He shook his head, looking down at the pillow in his arms. “I’m sorry if I made any of you uncomfortable. It was unintentional.”

A few seconds passed.

“Th… thank you for not letting them see us.”

Logan glanced up, surprised. It was Emile who had spoken, seeming nervous, but determined. “What?”

“The people last night, and… and Remus, was his name? Thank you for not letting them see us.”

“Of course. I know that you three have a vested interest in being secretive.”

“Still, I…” Emile glanced at Virgil, then back at Logan. “I know you didn’t have to do, um, any of this for us. So thank you.”

Logan could only nod.

“…Say hi to Roman for me?” Emile asked.

“Me too,” Patton murmured from where he sat against Virgil.

It was probably a testament to how tired and stressed he still felt, with the weight of everything going on, that Logan could have sworn he felt tears pricking at his eyes.

“I will.”

[flirting-with-psychology]

Has the person you like ever seen you in your pajamas? Yes

Did the last person you kissed celebrate your last birthday with you? He was celebrating thanksgiving with his parents during my birthday but he called me

What’s the first word of the last text message you received? I

Do you think you’ve changed at all over the past year? I’ve gotten more anxiety and gotten fatter

Is there a song that reminds you of your ex? Do you still listen to that song? I Almost Do, Red, and If This Was A Movie (all by taylor swift). Yes I still listen

Did you tag anyone in your last Facebook status? Not in the post I shared, but in my last original post I tagged my boyfriend

How do you behave when you’re drunk? Usually giggly and overexcited

What is your least favorite type of chocolate? White chocolate

When was the last time you felt disappointed? What was the reason? Disappointed that the gym won’t let me cancel over the phone and might still charge me for february

Is there someone that can make you smile, even when you feel like crying? Not always

Is there a certain person on your mind right now? Tell me about him/her. My boyfriend

You’re getting ready to go to bed, and the last person you kissed shows up, what do you do? Get into bed with him

What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? Being annoyed at my dad’s snoring through the walls

Do you think someone is thinking about you right now? Maybe

Are you okay right now? I haven’t been okay this whole year

What time did you get up today? Like 1:30

When was the last time you saw your mom? The other day

What is the last thing you drank today? Water

Do you dislike/hate anyone? Donald trump and Mitch McConnell

Where is your best friend right now? At home I assume

When will your next kiss be? As soon as we get negative test results

Will you be up before 7 am tomorrow? No

Does anyone completely understand you? No

Who was the last girl you hugged outside of family? I don’t remember, it’s been a long time

Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days? No

What will you be doing in 3 hours? Probably wasting time

How often do you straighten your hair? Never now, I used to when it was short

What are you currently looking forward to? The costume sale that hopefully I will be able to go to

Is tomorrow gonna be a good day? What are you going to do? Lol probably not

Who did you last hang out with? My dad

Did anyone see your last kiss? No

Could things possibly get any better? I fucking hope so

Do you know who you’ll even kiss next? I assume it will be my boyfriend

Do you ever sleep in jeans? No, that sounds really uncomfortable

Name something you dislike about the day you’re having? Stress

Did you get a full 8 hours of sleep last night? No

Are you in love lately? Not sure

How often do you see your ex? Rarely

Who was the last person to text you? My boyfriend

Did you like anyone last summer? Yes, my boyfriend

Do you replay things that have happened in your head? Yeah

Who was the last person you stayed up with till 2am? My boyfriend

Do you want a boyfriend or girlfriend? I enjoy having one

Are you currently in a relationship? Yes

Do you use a full length mirror daily? Most days

Would you be shocked if the person you have feelings for texted you? No

Is there anyone you wish you could fix things with? I would like to reconnect with my friend Shaina

What are you planning on doing after this? Idk

Is there a girl you would do anything for? No

Who IMed you on facebook last? My mom

How old are you? 26

Do you love dogs? Yes

Were you finished childhood and teens when Harry Potter movies came out? No, they started coming out when I was in elementary school

Did you keep all your VHS tapes? Probably

Do you think Jack Nicholson is a good actor? Yeah I think so

Have you ever watched an episode of “The Honeymooners”? No

Have you ever owned a pair of high-top Converse? No

Do you have rain boots with a cute pattern on them? I have cowboy rainboots

Would you rather eat an apple or an orange right now? Apple

Would you rather do a cartwheel on land or a backflip in water? If I could do either of them, a backflip in water would be cool

Have you ever performed on stage in front of people? Yes

Were you kinda scared of the goths in high school? Not scared, just didn’t have anything in common with them

What size is your mattress?(single,twin,double,queen,king) Full size

Do you eat foods from all 4 food groups everyday? Lol no

Do you sleep in PJs? Yes

Do you prefer watching TV or listening to music? Watching TV. Listening for music needs to be accompanied by another activity

Would you rather watch a movie in theatre or at home? Theater is fun, but right now at home

Do you prefer brown or white rice? White

Do you like spaghetti? I love spaghetti

What about lasagna? No, I don’t like red sauce

Do you celebrate Christmas? No

Is your Thanksgiving celebrated in October too? Who does that?

Do you like chocolate bars? Yes

what about ice cream? Mostly, although sometimes the plain flavors are boring

Have you ever been stung by anything? What was it? Wasps a few times

Do you get tired easily? Only in the morning

Or do you always have plenty of energy to spare? No

Have you ever done volunteer work? Where? I volunteered as a teaching assistant What about court-ordered community service? No

Have you ever worn contacts?(even just to try them out) I tried but it made my vision all swimmy

Would you wear contacts on a daily basis? Maybe if I got some that worked

Are your ears pierced? How many times? One on each ear

Do you have GOD-GIVEN(not dyed) natural brown hair too? I have natural brown hair but I don’t believe it’s god-given

Or were you born blonde? No

Have you found a gray hair on your head or body before? I don’t think so. Both of my parents kept their hair color for awhile so hopefully I got that gene

Have you ever had any suspicious moles removed? Yes, on my arm

Have you ever been screened for STDs? Yes

Are all your wisdom teeth pulled? Yes

Did you have your tonsils taken out? No

Did you have your appendix taken out? No

How many kidneys do you have?(have you donated one?) I have both of them

Would you(to save someone)?^^^ I'm not sure. If it was someone I loved and there wasn’t one already on hand, maybe

Have you ever found a bug or slug in your salad? ewww no

Do you like Harry Potter? Yes

What about Twilight? It was ok, I liked it at the time I read it How do you feel about Lord of the rings? I like the movies

Are you going to see ‘The Hobbit’ when it comes out? I did

Do you have a glass that says 'Molson Canadian’ on it? No

Do you have any collector’s glasses or cups or mugs? I have a bunch of shotglasses from places I visit

Would you rather have a white fridge or a black fridge or a stainless steel fridge? Stainless steel

What size shoe do you wear? 7.5-8 womens

Do you have a wide foot or a narrow foot or just average? Kind of dorito-shaped, so some shoe types just don’t fit

Do you bite your nails when you’re stressed? No

Do you have to take an allergy pill daily in order to live normally? No

Are you on the birth control pill? No

Or are you trying to get pregnant? I’m trying not to get pregnant, but I use condoms instead

You’d rather wear black sneakers or sneakers in a bright color or pattern? Probably bright color

Has anyone ever told you they were attracted to you? Yes

Can you swim well in water way above your head? Decently

Are you afraid of thunder & lightening? No

Have you ever experienced an earthquake? No

What about a tornado? No

Are you closer to your dad?(more so than your mom) I’m probably a little closer to my mom

Were you your parents’ first born? Yes

Do you have a child? Is the father still with you? No

Did you trade stickers at recess when you were a kid? No

How old were you when you had your first crush? Do you remember their name? I was like 5 the first time I put a word to it and his name was Aidan, but I probably had sort-of crushes even before that

Can you even remember what the hell they looked like? Blond, bowl-cut at the time. He actually grew up to be really hot so I guess I knew how to pick em

Have you ever operated any type of motorized vehicle before? A car

Are you going to drink alcohol tonight? Maybe

Have you ever heard of the Canadian kids show called “Mr. Dressup”? No

What about the kids show “Fred Penner’s Place”? No

Did you hate Sesame Street when you were little too? A little

Were you born perfectly healthy or with some(or a lot) of health issues? I might have had some minor things

Do you collect DVDs? Not as a collection, but I buy movies I like a lot

Do you download music? Yes

Or do you still go to stores and buy CDs? No, those are like twice as much

Did you skip(jumo-rope) a lot as a kid? No, I was bad at it

Did you ever catch any bugs or insects with your friends as a kid? Only roly polies

Didn’t you just LOVE art class in elementary school?! Yeah

Have you ever played dodgeball? Yes but not well

What about Red Rover? No

Have you ever played “What time is it mr. wolf?”? It sounds familiar but I don’t remember it

Do you hate your weight? Yes

Have you ever struggled with a mental illness? A little

Serious question, peanut butter or nutella? Peanut butter for a sandwich, nutella for eating straight out of the jar

Have you ever stepped on a snail? No

Do you prefer baked potatoes or mashed potatoes? Mashed

Do you prefer ankle socks over regular socks? Ankle socks

Last movie you’ve seen in theaters? I can’t remember

What is your oldest sibling’s middle name? I don’t have one

Have you ever been to Disneyland or Disney World? Both

Would you ever go backpacking across any country? Probably not

Would you prefer to travel around the world by yourself or with a friend? With a friend

Do you like breadsticks? Yes

Do you usually wear shorts around your house all year long? No, but I do wear short sleeves year round

What state were you born in? Colorado

Have you ever had a nose bleed? All the time

How far away do you live from your birthplace? Like 15 minutes

Do you have a weak stomach? No

Do you know anybody who has been diagnosed with cancer? Yes

Have you ever had to take care of an intoxicated person? Yes

Have you ever considered becoming a lawyer? Slightly but not really

Do you *really* like donuts? Yes

Do you think Disney World could ever get old? At some point

If you could, would you hookup with the last person you texted? Yes

What are your favorite things to spend money on? Jewelry and nerd stuff

Will you talk to the person you like on the phone tonight? I am talking to him right now

What do you usually order on a pizza? No sauce, cheese, garlic, pinapple Do you and your boyfriend/girlfriend fight a lot? Not really

Who’s the first person with the letter “m” in your contacts? Mac

Which would you rather have a new puppy or kitten? Kitten

How old will you be on your next birthday? 27 yikes

What color are your underwear? Turquoise

Do you ever feel self-conscious when you eat around other people? If it’s messy

[mattygraygubler]

our campus: chapter 4 (tom holland fanfic)

summary: frat!tom and reader go to the same college and y/n is tasked with being his tutor, they don’t really get along at first (because i love reader and tom hating each other trope)

warnings: none ?????

word count: 2.1k

a/n: so many texts and so much dialogue fuckin kill me also texts are bold

for a list of characters click here

to be added to the tag list send me an ask !

masterlist

✰✰✰✰✰

“I don’t know what you did to get her to give you a second chance, but I need to warn you.” Ally said. Tom turned to look at her, they had only ever spoken when necessary for theater stuff. 

“Warn me?” He asked. 

“Y/N can make your life either very, very good or very, very bad. She has most of the professors in this school wrapped around her pinky. And she doesn’t make it obvious, but she’s the smartest person I’ve ever met. She can really help you if you let her.”

“Well, thanks.” He said awkwardly and turned back to his stuff. 

“One more thing.” Ally said. Tom turned again and raised his eyebrows. “Don’t you dare catch feelings.” “Seriously? No need to worry about that.” Ally scoffed. 

“I’m serious, Tom. Don’t. She doesn’t need that right now.” 

“Yeah, fine, I get it.” He said. 

“Alright guys let’s get started.” Gigi said, signaling rehearsal was about to start. 

* * * 

It was finally Friday, and your phone was blowing up as you walked to the library. Class had gotten out late, so you were walking as fast as possible so you wouldn’t be late to your meeting with Tom. 

Al

if Y/N is ok with it its fine with me

Iz

i still dont know how i feel about this

Em 

pretty pretty please guys i really like this guy and he really wants me to go

You

what are we talking about i was in class

Al

harrison invited em and all of us to the delt party tonight

Iz

and i said we shouldnt go bc of what happened

plus isnt tom a delt? wouldnt that be a bit awk?

You

honestly i couldnt care less. after the week ive had im gonna too blacked to even realize where we are

Em

lets take it to a vote

aye

Al

aye 

Iz

nay

You

im abstaining

Em

the ayes have it! delt BABEEEYYYY

ill have harrison put us all on the list

You 

glad we got that sorted ill see u guys at mine at 8

You walked into the library, checking your watch and seeing it was 4:02. You bit your lip. Hopefully he didn’t give you any crap for being late. 

You walked quickly into hlab, and you knew you looked like a crazy person. Your bag was falling off your shoulder, you had a coffee in your hand and your water bottle tucked under your arm, and your phone in your other hand. 

You scanned the room and saw Tom sitting across from Max, both of them had books out. 

“Hi,” you said breathlessly. Max slid over a seat so you could sit across from Tom. “So sorry I’m late, crazy day.” 

“No worries dar-” You heard him start to say darling, but stopped himself. “No worries. It’s only 2 minutes after.” 

“How long have you been waiting?” You asked.

“Max and I have been hanging out for a while, not a big deal.” 

“Speaking of, I’m on alc duty for tonight so I better go.” Max said, did his stupid handshake with Tom, and walked out. 

Hlab was almost empty except for some freshman. Most people don’t like studying on a Friday, who could blame them?

“So I got a copy of your lectures from this week. What do you want to start with?”

“I don’t care.” 

“Ok, what is currently confusing you the most?” He thought for a second before saying “Astronomy.” You nodded. 

“Great, grab your notes and your textbook.” He pulled out a notebook and his laptop, opening the online textbook. You pulled out your laptop and a pen and highlighter. 

“May I?” You asked and pulled his notebook to your side. You went through his notes, circling certain things with the pen and highlighting others. 

“These are really good, Tom. I like how you put question marks next to things that confused you.” He laughed. 

“Do I get a gold star?” He joked. You rolled your eyes. 

“So phases of the moon.” You started. 

“Wait a second,” he said after you had been talking for a while. “You’re telling me that the moon doesn’t actually, like, change?” 

“It’s all shadows.” You replied. He nodded and seemed to finally be getting it. 

“The phases will most definitely be on your next lab, which isn’t open note, so make sure you memorize them.” You said. “Let’s move onto stats.” He groaned. “What?” You asked. 

“Statistics is so stupid. Letters and numbers shouldn’t go together.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Stats is easy, I promise you. This is the first unit, all we’re doing is descriptive statistics and graphing. Let’s start with some vocab.” You said, highlighting certain words in his notes. 

Once you could see his brain was about to explode, you moved onto writing. 

“There’s not much to talk about, just email me your most recent paper so I can go through it and look for themes we need to discuss.” 

‘“Themes?” He asked. 

“You know, on going issues that need to be addressed.” He nodded and emailed you his paper, which you would read tomorrow. You heard your phone buzz and took a quick glance. 

Em

al dont be upset

Al

then dont give me a reason to get upset

what is it

Em

……….. It’s themed

Al

are you kidding? were not freshmen, i dont wanna go to a stupid themed frat party

Em

its blackout !!!! itll be fun i promise

You turned your phone back down and didn’t realize you had an upset look on your face. 

“Everything ok?” He asked. 

“Just arguing in the group chat.” 

“Do you need to go?” He asked. 

“No, no, just arguing about tonight.” 

“What’s tonight?” 

“Tonight is not related to political conflict, which is what we should be talking about.” He laughed. 

“Do you ever have fun?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“I’m serious, do you ever have fun, or do you just go to sleep surrounded by planners and textbooks.” 

“That’s not funny. There’s a lot more about me that you don’t know.” 

“Clearly.” 

“So we’re starting off with socioeconomic issues over time and the class strugle. Did you read the Marx chapters?” 

“Yup. Didn’t understand a word of it.” 

“Ok, let’s get into it.” You said and began rambling about the bourgeoisie and the communist manifesto. Politics was your favorite subject, you could talk about it for hours. 

You were having a really good discussion with Tom. It was global political conflict, and he was able to connect the themes to both America and England, which made you really pleased. 

You were pulled out of your discussion when your phone vibrated. 

Iz

pickin up panera anyone want anything 

“Jeez it’s already past 6:30, I gotta go.” You said. 

“Oh, I’m sorry.” He said. 

“No it’s not your fault, I get so into politics I lose track of time.” “I can tell.” He said as you both packed up your stuff. 

“Wanna grab some food?” He asked. 

“Sorry, can’t,” you said. 

“Why, got a hot date?” He joked. 

“Maybe,” you said. 

“At least let me walk you to wherever you’re going.” 

“You don’t have to do that.” 

“Well where are you going?” 

“Congression Hall?” You replied. 

“Wait, you live there?” 

“Uhm, yes? Me along with practically every other junior.” 

“What floor?” 

“8.” You said. 

“Should’ve guessed.” He replied as you started walking across the quad. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Honors 8. I forgot you were in hc.” He was referring to the eighth and top floor of Congression Hall, which was reserved for the honors college juniors. 

“Yeah.” You said simply. 

“I’m on six, by the way.” He said. “That’s why I was curious. I’ve never seen you around there.” 

“I’m not usually, I only really use it for sleep.” 

“Of course,” he replied. 

“I assumed you lived in a frat house.” You commented. 

“Nah, next year.” He said with a wink. “Speaking of frat houses, there’s kind of this party going on at Delt tonight-” 

“I’m aware.” You said, cutting him off. 

“Ah, well, if you want I can get you on the list.” You smiled to yourself. 

“No need, I’m already on the list.” You said. 

“Oh?” He said, clearly embarrassed. “Because of delta nu?” 

“Nope.” You said, not offering any other information. 

“Well maybe I’ll see you there then.” 

“Even if you do see me there, I will be pretending I don’t know you.” 

“Why?” He asked, clearly offended. “I run that house.” He joked, trying to play off the embarrassment. 

“No offense, but your reputation would not be good for mine.” 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Well I have a certain reputation in the greek community, and if people see me with you they’ll get the wrong idea.” 

“The wrong idea?” He asked as you walked in the lobby of your building. 

“Well, see, the thing is,” you said, stepping into the elevator. He pressed the button for six and eight. “I have certain standards. If people see me with you, they’ll think I’ve…” 

“Wow, you are really uptight, aren’t you?” 

“Excuse me?” 

“Certain standards? Jesus christ, you’re not the queen, Y/N. And I don’t have a bad reputation. But god forbid I don’t live up to your ‘standards.’” He said, storming off the elevator without another word, clearly upset. You sighed. Good job, Y/N. 

Tom got to his room and threw his stuff on the floor, collapsing on his bed. His head hurt from all the tutoring, and trying to focus on not staring at your lips. 

delt juniors

Tom

aight important question guys

Cal

whats up tommy

Tom

do you guys know a girl called Y/N Y/L/N? shes a delta nu

Joey

dan knows her ;)

Cal

fuck, Y/N? what are you doing with her? 

Tom

shes tutoring me stop buggin 

Max

i know her which u know shes in hc with me 

Liam

oh danny DEFINITLY knows her 

Will

who doesnt know Y/N? shes a hot commodity

Tom

what do you mean? 

Cal

shes like the perfect girl next door, totally hot and so smart which just makes her hotter

Will

doesnt help that shes a huge fuckin flirt AND can hold her alc

Joey

dan is being suspiciously quiet……..

Dan

shut up joe

Liam

care to share with tommy your story with Y/N, daniel? 

Dan

i hate u all 

fine

i was like in love with her freshman year

and i thought she was into me too

and we made out a couple of times but nothing else

the second she found out i was in delt she stopped talking to me

like complete radio silence 

Tom

wtf? Why? 

Cal

she doesnt fuck with delts

thats like common greek knowledge

Will

maybe its because shes gonna be dchi sweetheart? 

Joey

nah theres gotta be something else

Harrison

well i just put her on the list for tonite

Tom

wait YOU put her on the list?! 

Harrison

yeah i invited her friend Emily Gold and she doesnt go anywhere without Y/N and these two other girls

Cal

Ally Park and Isabelle Miller

Harrison

yeah howd u know? 

Cal

theyre like those cool girls from high school everyones obsessed with that are just out of everyones league

Tom

wow american high schools are so weird

Dan

tom if u wanna get with her i wont be pissed

Tom

nah like you said she hates delts, and after three tutoring sessions with me i guarentee i am her least favorite delt ever

Liam

theres no fuckin way she shows up tonight

she wouldnt be caught dead at a delt party

Noah

wait you said Y/N Y/L/N may come tonight????

DIBS

DIBS DIBS DIBS

I CALL DIBS

Cal

noah u seriously show up just to call dibs?

Noah

yeah bro have u seen her? if she comes tonight and any of you try to cockblock me i stg ill deck you

Dan

pretty sure tommy has rightful dibs to this one

Tom

nah fam she hates me so fuckin much

let noah try his luck

i doubt she’ll even show

Max

she’ll show. 

Tom

what makes u say that? 

Liam

max does know her best

Max

she and ally and emily and isabelle are ride or die. they circulate who picks what party they go to and if its emilys turn and harrison somehow conviced her to go, Y/N wont miss it

Dan

she hasnt set foot in a delt house since freshman year, you seriously think she’ll show? 

Max

five bucks says she does

Dan

youre on 

Noah

i just wanna make it clear

that if she does show

D I B S

[saymypiece]

This nobody’s journal of hot, boring afternoons…

Day 21 (7.4.2020 - Tuesday)

I did not sleep through the night, again! What on Earth! On the other hand, I worked out, a little, but still a workout. As in I played with my dog. She got a hold my bro/sis old silambam belt and goes around playing with it. So grabbed on to the other end and had a tug of war with her, which was fun, until she realised I wasn’t much of a competition and got bored. :S It’s alright, I will prove to her that I am worthy of her time. I shall try again. Practice makes perfect Koko, you adorable snob! 

Day 20 (6.4.2020 - Monday)

Omgoodness its day 20! I cannot believe we have been stuck at home without a choice for so long. I keep hearing of doctors and nurses falling ill, scientists working so hard to create a vaccine. I can’t help but wonder what this virus is all about. This thing we can’t see is causing so much chaos, panic and fear in everyone. And the way I see it, it’s not going away anytime soon. But our God is God over the impossible! He is the only way this virus will be washed out. This time at home, especially during this time leading up to Easter, has allowed me to spend some time in devotion and the Bible. And what I have learnt is we are not alone. Our time on Earth, though temporary, is designed to be fulfilling and beautiful. So I’m embracing that. No matter what comes against me, it shall not prosper. For my God is for me. On the other hand, I have not been able to sleep. It’s been challenging to 

Day 19 (5.4.2020 - Sunday)

As usual, Sunday was enriching and chill. Not that every other day is not chill, but Sundays, they are quite a little more chill than other days. At 3pm, I joined a group chat with some friends from church. Fun.

Day 18 (4.4.2020 - Saturday)

After last week’s shopping debacle, I was terrified about going out there with mum again. Nevertheless, we had needs and they needed to be bought, so I got ready with my gear, the usual suspects of masks, gloves and a hand sanitiser. This time, the mall staff were even more strict. They checked body temperatures before anyone could even enter the building. And only one person per family was allowed in. So, yes, we kinda put on our inner Meryl Streeps and acted the strangers we never knew we could play so well. They believed it. Heck, at one point, even I believed it. My mom, I think, may BE, Meryl Streep, I don’t know. Anyway, no drama during shopping, everything was perfect. I even got to keep my shorts intact the whole time. No, it was a different shorts, I wash them everyday. Yes, I’ve got a whole lot of loose shorts okay? They’re comfy! What some more you want?

Day 17 (3.4.2020 - Friday)

Another Friday has come and gone. There is really nothing new happening, but today, I got to catch up with the darling! You don’t feel time passing you by until you actually do something you used to do very, very often, years ago. We used to Skype and video call all the time until work and life happened. Then suddenly, it had all come to an abrupt end. This conversation felt like such a treat. I felt like I was catching up with her entire lifetime. Well, a lot can happen in over six years. Feeling so blessed for technology and this time we get to reconnect and spend quality time with each other. 

Day 16 (2.4.2020)

Ok so, sleep lost it’s way and didn’t really get back to me, blardee heartbreaker! Didn’t do much other than write and hang around all day. So I decided, to pick up my guitar and do somethin with it. :) You Say by Lauren Daigle

Day 15 (1.4.2020 - Wednesday)

I know it’s meant to be April’s Fool today, but like the rest of the world, it didn’t mean a thing. I mean, our situation right now seems like a giant prank anyway. There is no need to scare anyone else about, anything else. The greatest prank in the world right now would be to just go up to someone who’s NOT your family, and sneeze or cough right at their faces. Once they know you’re pranking em, they’d either laugh or slap you so hard, you begin to foretell your f-f-future. Even watching old YouTube videos of interviews or clips from shows where there is some amount of coughing or sneezing involved makes me cringe so hard! And I’m not the only one. Read the comments. Once thing I am certain of, whether a vaccine is found or not, is that once this MCO is over, everybody is gonna be a germaphobe/hygiene-junkies - always washing hands and sneezing into handkerchiefs and such. Anyway, goodnight, hope sleep finds me tonight.

Day 14 (31.3.2020 - Tuesday)

Oh praise the Lord I’m alright. At least, I think I’m alright. I don’t feel fuzzy, I have no fever, no headache. I was awake super early and I decided to feed my three dogs, for the first time! Let my bro and sis sleep in a little this morning. I had no idea how to do it. I just winged it based on what I thought is normally done, and it worked. The three ding dongs listened, sat patiently, ate sweetly and gave me some kisses. And then, I put on a fan for them, coz there was no air movement out. It was so weird, it was early morning and it was so hot with zero movement in the air. Man, we really need the rain!

Day 13 (30.3.2020 - Monday)

I am so not feeling good today! My mind is racing. Was it the shopping at Tesco on Saturday? Was it the Lontong flavoured Chef noodles I had for dinner last night? What is it? I have a bad headache, body ache and my brain is a little fuzzy, like when I have a fever. When I asked my sister to check my temperature, she confirmed there is a slight fever. Paracetamol. I need it. And a good shower. Had both. Going to sleep again. Maybe I’m tired, exhausted. I’ve told everyone in the house to stay away. Lord, protect papa. And heal me. Let this not be…it.

Day 12 (29.3.2020 - Sunday)

Time for church online. Mummy made friend mee hoon and some Portuguese tarts. It was one of those quiet days. Didn’t do much today.

Day 11 (28.3.2020 - Saturday)

Nope. Zoom didn’t let me down. I let Zoom down! My frickin alarm didn’t go off, or maybe it did and I didn’t hear it, I don’t know. All I know is I wasn’t up until 11.20am! The meeting was supposed to start at 11am! #muchembarassed Thankfully they were all in conversation while waiting for me. I didn’t even have time to brush my teeth. Just washed my face, tamed my hair and appeared online. Connect was awesome though. The two newcomers were great. Kinda weird we didn’t shake hands or hug, kinda weird we literally met face-to-face, online, but it was great! Cheers to new experiences, I say. Speaking of new experiences, I have never liked shopping. Like, ever. I don’t enjoy walking around, I don’t enjoy going to shops after shops after shops. Basically, I’m most men when it comes to shopping. Today, my mom and I had to run to Tesco to stock up on some of our essentials that are running low. I wore a shorts and t-shirt but with two masks, gloves, and in my pockets, Clorox anti-bacterial wipes and hand-sanitiser. We strategised how and what to touch before entering the store. I was going to be the one doing the touching, cos I wore the gloves, and my mom, wearing one glove, was to be the one pointing out what I was supposed to pick out from the shelves. Carefully, but swiftly, we began picking out everything on our list. My heart, for some reason, was drumming like a Taiko drum in my chest. And to make matters worse, sometime during our walking through the aisles, my mom completely ditched our strategy and started touching the things on the shelves! Like, ALL things! Okay, granted, I wasn’t fast enough for her but PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE, okay? Just… keep your hands to yourself and straighten ONLY the index finger. How difficult is that strategy? Now, she’d gone and made my mind spin round and round tryna think of how the virus would travel, or get stuck on her phone (which I sanitised the moment we got out), or what her gloved hand touched and what she could and could not touch anymore not that is has been exposed. Arghh! Finally at the cashier, we more or less got in sync. Everything went according to plan, like which hand she would get her debit card out of my shorts pocket with and which hand she received it from the cashier with after the payment was made. It went pretty perfectly, with the slight risk of me losing my shorts because mummy decided to shove her hands so far down my pockets. The shorts was loose to begin with. Thankfully, with my firm grip, nothing untoward happened. We got out, got home, showered and washed all the clothes we were in. All good. Phew…

Day 10 (27.3.2020 - Friday)

Thankful for technology. It’s made life very easy. Even my mom, who is completely resistant of anything “technology” (because she thinks she would destroy the internet or something) has had to organise Zoom meets, coordinate her kindergarten teachers’ online lessons and activities - it’s been quite a trip seeing my mom grow into this technological wiz, so to speak. I joined her connect group today, had a good discussion. A little nervous about mine tomorrow morning. We will have two newcomers on board. Hopefully Zoom doesn’t let me down.

Day 9 (26.3.2020 - Thursday)

It’s the end of the day, and lo and behold, I have completed the pages I was meant to complete. Turns out, I didn’t have to do some of the last pages, so that saved me some work. I was right. I DO feel blind and like a bat after completing the job, but the satisfaction of a job completed is unmatched. The number of cases keep increasing by around 130 every day! It’s not even funny how people are still choosing to ignore this situation. We are already in day nine of the MCO and they still feel it’s alright to meet their friends and family in such a time as this. If only we all, collaboratively, stayed home for two weeks, we could actually curb this virus from spreading out. STOP GIVING IT TRANSPORT! Ugh! On the bright side, I am organising our Connect meet online.

Day 8 (25.3.2020 - Wednesday)

Quick update: Still on the project. I have managed to complete around 10 pages, mostly profiles. I am so surprised at how weirdly written everything is. On COVID-19, we are 300 cases short of 2000. It’s not looking good at all. And what’s worse, the government has extended the MCO to April 14. So instead of going back to work on 1 April, I would be jobless until 15 April. Lord, I surrender this to you. Let all that happens, happen according to your plan. I place my trust and hope in You, Lord. Amen.

Day 7 (24.3.2020 - Tuesday)

…aaaaaaadddd!!!! There are sooo many words in this, it doesn’t seem to have an end! 105 pages of THIS is more than I can bear!!! I’m gonna go nuts by the end of it, or blind! Anyway, I started on this the day before yesterday, but it has been a lot of, what my dad would call, broken focus. I just can’t seem to stay on the editing bit. I keep getting beckoned by either YouTube or Facebook or Instagram, and end the day without completing even one full page… so here we are. I have exactly two days to complete editing 103 pages of words. *takes a deep breath* RM530 is riding on this, man! Get it together and do it! I know RM530 seems little, but to me, after 5 months of RM0, it’s an upgrade I never thought I’d get. #suckitup

Day 6 (23.3.2020 - Monday)

Monday has arrived. I am refreshed, I have my mind set on the epilepsy article I am gonna write and the copy-editing project from the marketing department. I’m all set. I sent my interview questions to both the people I am meant to talk to. Under the current situation, I am not able to talk to them so email is the next best thing. Except an interview over Zoom would have been better, but they can’t seem to make it. Being researchers and lecturers and all, they don’t have much time on their hands…. unlike me. Anyway, that’s done. Now, continuing the project. Ohhhhmaaaiiiigaaa…

Day 5 (22.3.2020 - Sunday)

Oh Sunday. It was a really awesome Sunday service. It was truly something I think we all needed. The praise and worship was amazing, and allowed me to just soak in worship. Despite all the chaos and fear that I have in my heart and mind, I felt a peace wash over me. Suddenly I realised that the only reason for the fear in my heart is the unknown. But every “next step” we take is an unknown anyway, so why fear this one? I will keep praying, staying home, except during essential buys, washing my hands, working and doing pretty much everything I always do WITHOUT having fear in my heart.

Day 4 (21.3.2020 - Saturday)

What a total frickin crap-show! The numbers are increasing and I’ll tell you the truth, I’m afraid. Every time I wash my hands, I can’t stop wondering if I’ve washed them enough. There is just too much stake. My dad, his lungs are really not good and I am worried about what would happen should one of us get careless and carry this virus home from some essential grocery shopping. The only comfort I have right now is that my God is bigger. I know my God is bigger than all of this. I know my God is bigger than all of this!

Day 3 (20.3.2020 - Friday)

I know I wished for an eventful 2020, but my goodness, enough already! 

OMGIF already?? So, suddenly, the number of the infected in Malaysia hit 1000+. That is really too much! Who’s to blame? Why are there still cow dungs out and about on the roads, meeting friends and speaking their essentials words and letting their spits flow freely in the world and into each others’ ears? Don’t they know of a phone? There’s WhatsApp, Zoom, Hangout, Telegram, frickin Signal, Line, FB Messenger…heck, everything has a caller these days! *checks if Tinder has a caller* Not Tinder, thank goodness. Just…ugh…stop going out. *breathes* Meanwhile, my lovely brother gave us all his homemade Ais Malaysia and it was lovely! Like, it hasn’t properly rained in quite a few weeks now, and it is sooo hot. That Ais Malaysia was truly somewhat of a saving grace. And to top it off, my darling little sister made o-maki sushi, with the tuna and everything. Superb! Anyways, all things considered, the numbers locally are not too bad, is it? Is it? I’ll just have to keep washing my hands… “His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy, there’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti…”

Day 2 (19.3.2020 - Thursday)

#tbt like #tbeverydayforthelast5months ! 

This MCO doesn’t really make much of a difference for me since I was not working the last five months. This time around though, I wash my hands more, go out lesser, and can’t go out even if I wanted to. You know what? The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon: Home Edition is super awesome! I love it. It’s a breath of fresh air so I’ll have that to enjoy over this period. When we get out of this, I don’t think my hands will make it out “alive”. The number of times I wash my hands to the first verse of “Lose Yourself” is nuts!

Day 1 (18.3.2020 - Wednesday)

So, I started this to keep track of what is happening in this lovely, wonderful, fantastic nation during the Movement Control Order and also to me, as a… non-essential employee. Coz as long as I’m not working, I am not paid. Ok, let me rephrase that. As long as I am not present AT the office, then I’m not paid. Never been in this position, kinda worrying, but thankfully, I do have projects to complete to get me some kinda cash. Don’t know how its all gonna pan out. I am leaving all these worries to the Lord Almighty coz I know there is nothing I can do to change anything happening around me other than pray and stay home. These daily entries will be filled with dramatics and descriptive nothings, coz seriously, I can’t imagine another two weeks at home. So I AM gonna add some spice to this. Alright, so, first day was…err…normal. How’s that for spice? Whaaaat? I don’t know what to say in this okay? I am just…I just wanna remember what I went thru so…

[eggdotjpeg]

Hey so I wrote this chapter of a shitty story I might be continuing? idk how much I will update this, just remind me of it. Anyway. I’m putting the first chapter under the cut (hopefully, I don't really know how this works). I’ll start writing the second chapter now. Enjoy I guess? Oh yeah, this chapter is for 69 followers but the next one more so. Haven’t really edited this either, so if there are any mistakes then feel free to point them out!

The Five Fingers

Chapter One: I Can See a Man With a Baseball Bat

It was a late night on the 6th of September, or rather, an early morning, and Hubert Cumberdale was curled up in his bed, lying awake and waiting for just the right time. As the seconds ticked by, Hubert felt himself fill with more and more anticipation. His hands were shaking as he leaned over to grab his phone resting on his bedside table. He carefully unlocked it and opened his Instagram app. He checked the time and went into the group chat he had with his friends Marjory Stewart-Baxter, Jeremy Fisher and Milford Cubicle.

“420 blaze it lmao”, Hubert carefully typed into the chat.

“Go to sleep Hubert you’ve got to have energy for the movie release tomorrow”, quickly replied Marjory.

“You’re no fun, goodnight MUM!”

“Goodnight Hubert.”

After reading Marjory’s reply, Hubert made sure his alarm was set for 10 and put his phone back down and fell asleep.

 As sleep took over Hubert’s tired body, his mind was filled with a bright light, and then coming out of the smoke was Morgan Freeman. Morgan invited Hubert to sit and he did so. Morgan stared into his eyes and said with utmost certainty “You know I had to do it to em’”

Hubert spun around and saw him. Glowing. He spun back around to find Morgan gone. He woke up to his alarm.

He grumbled and turned off his alarm when he remembered. Today is the day. After quickly showering, he walked over to his closet to pick up the outfit that he had laid out the previous day. It was a simple white shirt with blue sleeves that went up to his elbows, and brightly coloured blue jeans. He walked over to his mirror and began to style his hair. He took two pieces at the front and make them stick up and then fall down, much like dog’s ears.

Hubert still had an hour and a half until he had to leave, so he decided to watch Bill Wurtz’s latest video. Before it, a 30 second ad started playing. Hubert decided to pay attention to the ad to see if it could give him any life changing advice for the day.

“Has you really been far, even as decided to use, even go want to look more like? Call 985-655-2500 inside the details for. Go further and even more decided to use! You can really be far as decided twice as much to use and go wish for it. When you decide far even once to use and even go want then get really far, even as decided to use and look more like and go after. It’s just common sense! Apply today.”

These few words held so much meaning to Hubert, but he just couldn’t wrap his head around as to why. He simply shrugged and went into the group chat and sent a message to see what his friends were doing now. Milford was still on his shift at Bunnings, Marjory was at the shops getting snacks and Jeremy had just woken up and was very annoyed.

Hubert decided this was the best time to go to the museum. They just had this new exhibit in that he was very excited to see.

After grabbing his coat, Hubert set off for the museum. It took 12 minutes and 250 seconds to get there, so if he stayed in there for 5 minutes he should be able to make it to the movie just in time.

When Hubert inside the lobby of the museum, he realised he needed a gummy snake to enter the museum. He didn’t bring one, so he walked outside and saw a kitchen table sitting on the road. He figured it would work just as well and walked over and picked it up. He walked back into the museum and gave the table to the receptionist.

“Funny looking gummy worm,” said the receptionist. Hubert merely grunted and took note that he had a nametag which read “Harry”. “Eh, whatever, it’ll do I guess step right in.”

Hubert stepped into the museum and started to make his way over to the new exhibit. He was in a rush, as consulting with the receptionist had taken 10 seconds of his precious time. It was lucky that the theatre was right next to the museum, so he didn’t have to waste time doing such mundane things like walking.

When Hubert neared the new exhibit, he started to smell a strange scent. It smelt of rotting meat. But something about it was different, almost foreign. When it came into sight, Hubert was in shock. It was one of the best things he had ever seen in his life. It was a meat dragon. Something seemed different about this meat dragon in particular. it was different to all the meat dragons he’s seen. What was different became apparent as he neared it. The sign said was entirely made of orphan meat. Truly original.

Then, out of the blue, he saw Harry advancing towards him. Oh god. This couldn’t be good. Then Harry started talking to him. It seemed like gibberish. Then Hubert started paying attention to what he was actually saying, and started to make sense of the nonsensicals.

He looked at his watch and it said he had been here for 2 minutes! Great Scott! He threw a pillow at Harry who ate it up gratefully, and Hubert began quickly running towards the exit, cursing under his breath about how Harry had kept him for 2 minutes. Two minutes too long I’d say! Doesn’t anyone know that no one cares if your pet tardigrade has a child?

He ran out of the museum and bolted into the cinema, coughing up red water. One of the staff members came up to him and offered a candle to help the coughing, but Hubert declined as he was going to be late for his movie. He made it in to his seat with only an hour, 5 minutes, 7 seconds and 32 milliseconds left to spare. He let out a big sigh and wondered where his all his friends were. He was sure they were going to be late!

20 minutes and 4 seconds later, Marjory entered with a 666-kilogram wheel of cheese. Ah, good old Marjory, you could tell she was from Wisconsin just by looking at her.

Hubert was getting worried, there were only 10 minutes until the movie started and Milford and Jeremy still hadn’t arrived. Then, in the blink of an eye, they came bursting in through the cinema doors, panting like doggos.

“Sorry we’re late, there was a lot of traffic so it took an extra 4 seconds,” breathed Jeremy

“You should’ve accounted for that, hurry up and take your seat the movie is about to start”, replied Hubert.

They took their seats as they eagerly waited for the movie to begin.

[thehardy-boys]

Friends Tommy Shelby x Reader Request

Hey everyone, If anyones listening... I really loved this request. I keep on saying I’ll have it done by Sunday and then I finish it earlier!  I have a couple more request I’ll finish up hopefully over Thanksgiving break! Please request things!!!

Request: Would you be able to do a Tommy Shelby x reader best friends one like they always work together, fight together, plan together. For the sake of Tommy she attempts to get on with Grace, but as soon as Tommy is away Grace becomes spiteful. Maybe Tommy walks in and sees this.

Warning: A bit of swearing Also I have nothing against Grace at all. She’s lovely!

"Are you out of your mind, Tommy?!" You whisper yelled. You and Tommy were standing in the corner of the church Polly had brought you to. For some reason, on occasion Polly made the two of you come and sit. You both thought it was Polly's way of saying you both were devils and needed help, but it never seemed to work. Tommy had just begrudgingly told you of the case of guns that his men accidentally found. 

"Why haven't you bloody dumped them, Tom?!" You scolded. Tommy sighed and not wanting to face the wrath that was prominent on your face he looked up. You scoffed noticing his undesired want for eye contact, " God won't help you now." "Charlie won't move them until the full moons passed, that's in three days. Then we'll chuck them, Okay?" Tommy responded after a full minute of ignoring your furious stare. "You do realize there's an inspector coming to Birmingham right now to weed all the bad apples out don't you? " Tommy started to speak, but you continued over him. "And yes it may be a bloody coincidence but its a bloody scary coincidence. And Tom," Tommy sighed and turned his head even farther away from you trying to ignore your words but you weren't going to have that. So, you reached out and took his chin in your hand and turned it to face you. "If that officer finds you with the case of guns, you can forget about the bloody Peaky Blinders coming up in the world, do understand that?" You let go of his chin and sighed. You looked away from Tommys piercing cool breezy blue eyes and instead examined the people sitting in the church. You felt Tommy turn your chin so you were facing him just like you had done. "Look (y/n), It'll be alright. I can take care of myself, It's you who I'm worried about." You narrowed your eyes about to make a snarky comeback when Polly brushed past both of you saying, "Oh, come on both of you, enough with the lovebirds, Gods watching for god sake." Tommy immediately let go of your chin and quickly followed Polly out of the church door. Leaving you standing there with a hint of red on your cheeks. You and Tommy grew up together in Birmingham. While all the other children were afraid of the Shelbys' because of there ties to gypsies you found it fascinating. Your parents had scolded you numerous times for running off to the caravans and having your fortune told.  And after the first couple times the Shelbys saw you around they welcomed you into the family with open arms. You were a girlfriend to Ada, a helper to Polly, a laugh for John and Arthur and for Tommy you were a partner. You both had been adventurous teenagers, constantly running about, sneaking out at night, and plotting together. But soon, as all things must end your safe haven in Birmingham did as well. You both had gone off to the war. Tommy was drafted as was your father. You soon realized you were doing nothing good just worrying in Birmingham so you volunteered as a nurse and away you went. The things you saw out on the battlefield were horrifying. Dragging half-dead men across the field trying to get them to safety.  Bowing your head in shame and sadness after another soldier didn't make it through the night. Gritting your teeth as you heard the screams of pain from the soldiers you were stitching up. You and Tommy both returned to Birmingham damaged physically and mentally but relived the other made it. You both acknowledged that the other would never be the same but for some reason, neither of you minded. As soon as you heard of Tommy's plan to start a business you started to help immediately. You quickly snapped out of your daydream to quickly follow Tommy and Polly out the door. As you left the church you were met with a rather aggressive blast of wind causing you to shiver.  Polly was grumbling something that sounded along the lines of, "I brought you both here to pray, bloody pray. And what do you do? Get into a bloody spat!" You and Tommy chuckled as you heard Polly mumbling to herself. "It not our fault, Pol. We never asked for God." Tommy said with a smirk on his face. You giggled at the sight of Polly's frustrated face. "I can't deal with you two pests. I'm going to the market to get something for dinner." And with a shake of her head, she left the two of you standing there on the front steps of the church. Tommy turned to you with a smile and a cigarette hanging from his lips. He offered you his arm and you gladly took it. And the two of you walked together in comfortable silence. Weeks went by and the inspector was getting more and more bothersome. Tommy had done his best at challenging him but he had other things to deal with, like Kimber. The two of you were sitting in the betting shops office deep in thought. "You best be careful Tom." You warned quietly. He nodded solemnly. "Kimbers a slimy man. You may be working for him today, but tomorrow you may be his new enemy." You continued on. Tommy and you had been plotting since this afternoon on how to make sure Kimber doesn't take advantage of the Peaky Blinders. You stood up from your sit grabbed the cigarette dangling from Tommy's lips and took a long drag. He looked up at you with his dolphin blue eyes, that now had a hint of fondness swimming in them. "Hows Grace?" You asked. Tommy immediately looked away from you. "She's uh, she's doing alright. " He looked up at you from his seat. "How are you doing?" "Are you both happy?" You said exhaling a cloud of smoke. "I am. We are. " He replied simply. You gave him a small smile. "Then I'm happy." You whispered. You ignored the cracking of your heart at his words.  Over the entirety of your life with Tommy, you had grown quite fond of the man.  You might go as far as saying you love him. There was something about him. He radiated power and violence but deep down you knew he would never hurt a thing if he had a choice.   "My God! When did it get so cold?" You yelled. Tommy chuckled at your outburst. You both had called it quits when the clock showed 1 A.M. "I'll walk you home." Tommy offered while placing an arm around your shoulders. You both walked silently through the ghostly Birmingham streets. You both heard the faint drunken yells of men happily celebrating another day. You looked to your left and saw a mesmerizing view of Birmingham's docks and factories. You stopped walking and just stared at the scene before you. The fire was blazing every couple minutes. Men yelling for more coal. The wisps of smoke waltzing in the air made you smile into the night. The water looked like glass reflecting the moon perfectly. Tommy offered you a cigarette which you gratefully took. The two of you stood there smoking and watching. Unbeknownst to you, Tommy was watching you. The way your silhouette sparkled in the moonlight was captivating. The way the smoke dripped from your mouth just added to your allure. An allure Tommy was having a hard time resisting. You sighed. "Beautiful isn't it?" Tommy pulled his eyes away from you to rest them on the bustling factories. "I don't know, I've seen a lot prettier." You chuckled looking down. "You would say that. But look its Birmingham's heart. Look at the way the furnaces blaze every couple minutes. It's her heart beating. Fighting to stay alive."   You both fell silent watching until you both grew too tired to stand upright and trundled on home. The next morning you made your way to the Garrison hoping to see Ada there so you could chat a bit. You took a seat at the bar to find Grace on duty as the bartender. "Morning Grace, you look lovely." You said with a cheerful smile. She looked at you like a marble statue, "What can I get you?" You were taken aback by her cold shoulder but you recovered quickly from her rather brisk response, "I'm fine right now, thanks. I'm just waiting to meet Ada." Grace gave you a stiff nod and continued to serve other customers. You didn't hate Grace but you didn't love her either. You constantly tried to spark a conversation or even a short chat with her but she would never cooperate. Sometimes she would have a snide remark about your clothing or she would adamantly disagree with you on something.  You didn't know why she was so rude. You had no idea where you went wrong. But for the sake of a Tommy, you tried to get on. "She hates me, Ada! And I don't know what to do about it!" You vented. "Why don't you do all of us a favor and remove the rod that's stuck up her a-" You coughed loudly as to alert Ada that you weren't the only ones present at the market. "I can't do that. Tommy and Grace are together. If I start something with her That would most likely stop me and Tommy's friendship" You explained. "Look (y/n), Grace doesn't like anyone its part of her charming personality. She'll get off her high horse soon." Ada responded while examining a melon. "Does this melon look a bit brown to you?" The Garrison was closing down the crowds of drunken men had stumbled home leaving the Shelbys, you, and Grace. John was the first  to go, he slurred something that resembled, "Hav tu go put em kids ta bedsh." Then Arthur stumbled on home and soon Polly and Ada followed suit leaving just you, Grace and Tommy. Not wanting to be a third wheel you began to head out. "Night Tom, Grace." You said with a smile as you pulled on your coat.   Tommy stood up, "I'll walk you home. It's late." You shook your head. "Really, its fine you two have fun." Tommy looked a bit worried leaving you alone to walk home. "No, I think I should, a lot of drunkards out tonight. Let me get my coat." You continued your protests until he left the room to fetch his jacket, leaving you alone with Grace. "I'm really sorry. I'll leave now so you guys can continue your evening." You offered with a smile. "I can see right through you." Were the first couple words Grace said to you. "Pardon?" You said in confusion. "I know you're trying to steal him from me. But guess what?" Grace stood up from her chair and crossed the room towards you. You took a step back afraid of what she was going to do. "Tommy would never like someone like you. Look at your clothes, your hair, your smile, your nothing but a damaged nurse from the war with no parents." Silenced pierced the room like a dagger. Your mouth hung open in shock. But soon the shock transformed into sadness. Tears filled your eyes and soon they overflowed and they trickled down your cheeks. "Why? I don't understand? Why are you so mean?" You struggled to form any kind of sentence. You heard Tommy re-enter the room only to stop when he saw the situation. "(y/n)?" Was the only word you heard from him before you turned and hurried out of the Garrison and through the ashy streets. You soon saw your familiar street name, thank god you were almost home! You ran up to your door and fumbled with your keys for a few seconds. Your hands were shaking from the adrenaline of running and the raw emotion coursing through your veins. You finally opened your door and slammed it shut. You slid down until you were sitting on the ground and your back was leaning against the door. Only then did you truly let the emotion inside of you free. You didn't know how long you were crying but eventually, you had no tears left in you. And that left you with nothing else but the words Grace had said to you. She was right. You were just a damaged nurse from the war with no parents. Why would Tommy want someone so damaged? Who were you to even like someone like Tommy? Someone so beautiful and smart. You would never deserve a man like him. You were a fool to even consider it. You jumped at the sound of banging coming from the door behind you. Slowly you stood up and unlocked the door but not the chain only allowing a few inches to look through. You weren't entirely surprised to find Thomas Shelby on your doorstep. He looked angry, disheveled, and tired, but mostly angry. You sighed. "I'm really tired right now Tommy, can we talk in the morning?" You asked you voice a bit horse form all the crying. "No, We are going to talk about what the fuck happened back there." He demanded with a voice that was as sharp as a broken piece of glass. "Nothing happened back there Tommy." You began to close the door when his hand slapped against it preventing you from moving it. His anger transformed into hope and he looked at you pleadingly, "Please, lets talk, I want to talk." You internally debated for a couple of seconds but soon you were unlatching the chain and standing aside to let him in.  You thought he would go through to the drawing room but when you turned around he was right in front of you. "How long?" He demanded quietly. You looked everywhere but him, "What do you mean?" It was a feebel attempt at buying yourself some time and it didn't work. "How fucking long has she been insulting you!?" He yelled. Making you jump a bit. You had seen Tommy yell many times but you were never in front of him only beside him. And you couldn't believe how scary he was. He seemed to realize he shocked you. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I just, I'm angry. How long?" "Over a couple months now." You said looking at the floor. "What has she said to you?" He took a step closer to you. "Nothing that bad until tonight. She has never really liked me, always challenging me, sometimes insulting my outfit. But tonight..." You trailed off. "What about tonight (y/n)?" Tommy asked in a low voice, "She just really insulted me directly. Accused me of trying to steal you. Saying I was damaged." You finally looked at him. "Look, Tommy, It's fine I-" You were cut off by Tommy's loud voice. "No, (y/n) It's not fine. You are my best friend, you-you are everything, your funny, caring beautiful, and- you should have told me and I'm, I'm so sorry." The last couple words he said turned to a hoarse whisper.  This was the most emotion you had seen from Tommy in awhile. "I left her." Tommy stepped even closer to you, you weren't sure if it was even possible. He caressed your face rubbing away the traces of the tears you once had shed. "I never loved her." He whispered. "What?" "I took her because I thought I could never have you. I thought I would be able to play along and watch you meet someone and be happy with someone else but I was breaking day after day." He caressed your cheek and gently ghosted his fingertips over your lips. "I love you." You looked at him. "I love you," you whispered. He slowly moved even closer until your lips were mere centimeters apart. "May I?" He asked quietly. To answer him you slowly closed the gap between the two of you. It was lovely. The way his warm lips enveloped yours was mesmerizing. The both of you moved in perfect synch.  After a few minutes of pure bliss, the two of you reluctantly pulled apart and looked at each other not saying a word, both just so captivated by the others beauty.

[firefighterkingdom]

#2 Covid March 2020 Update: with Dr. Chelsea White

Good morning everybody, or good afternoon, depending on where you’re seeing this from. My name is Vince Trujillo and I own a marketing agency here in Albuquerque, New Mexico. And I’m excited to have a podcast in collaboration with the Firefighter Kingdom, which is affiliated with the New Mexico Professional Firefighters Association, located here in New Mexico.  First off, I would like to go ahead and introduce the host, who is in charge of this podcast. His name is Mr. Robert Sanchez. 

Vince Trujillo: Robert, good morning. How are you doing this morning?

Robert Sanchez: Good. It’s nice to talk to our audience out there in the FireFighter Kingdom. We have a lot in store for us today. I’m excited.

Vince Trujillo: Good. Good, so just a little bit about you, Robert. I know you don’t like to brag about yourself, so I’ll go ahead and do it if you don’t mind. Robert has been a proud member of the IAFF for over 19 years and was the longest serving executive officer at the board at over 16 years. Robert has concurrently served as the president of the New Mexico Professional Firefighter Association since 2019. Robert, do you want to talk a little bit about that?

Robert Sanchez: Sure. I’m proud of our organization, the men and women, firefighters and paramedics in the state of New Mexico. I try to always be an advocate for firefighters, especially in the legislature level to try to get several acts passed for us, to better assist us in our jobs and again, proud to be here.

Vince Trujillo: Wonderful. Also joining us today, we have our special guest in the healthcare field. With everything going on with COVID-19. We are very fortunate to have Dr. Chelsea White. Dr. White is an emergency medicine physician in Albuquerque, New Mexico. He’s affiliated with multiple hospitals in the area, including the University of New Mexico and the UNM Sandoval Regional Medical Center. Dr. White received his medical degree from the University of Michigan Medical School and has been in practice for the last 10 years. Doctor, Thank you so much for taking the time out of your busy schedule and joining us today, to help us cover some of whats going on right now with COVID19.

Dr. Chelsea White: Thank you very much. I appreciate the opportunity to be here and help everyone who is actively helping others right now. Thank you.

Vince Trujillo: You’re welcome. It is our pleasure. Robert, go ahead and give us a little background on how you came to know Dr. White and I’ll let you start the interview.

Robert Sanchez: Sure. Well, I just have to add real quick. I’ve had the privilege and honor of working with Dr. White throughout the years and the consortium of program that he assisted in and he’s also did great work to assist firefighters and paramedics in the state of New Mexico. So, what better time is there right now to talk about the coronavirus, Doctor. Perfect person to talk about. I know you’ve been dealing with it for over the last two or three weeks and it’s been going on. So, I guess first I think what the audience likes… What we would want to know about the coronavirus, the effects of the coronavirus and kind of the exposures to firefighters and if there was a firefighter exposed in New Mexico. Is there a type of plan that the hospitals are using to assist in those exposures and make us do our job without tasking the system.

Dr. Chelsea White: Absolutely. Robert, thank you for those questions. First of all, I want to stress what is being mentioned everywhere right now, but there is a lot that we just don’t know about COVID-19 right now. A lot of this is still developing from information that we’re gleaning from what other countries are going through. It is called the novel Coronavirus because it is novel and it is new and that’s why every day it seems like information is changing. This makes it difficult for us because what you heard yesterday might not be true today, and what I’m telling you right now, unfortunately might be different tomorrow. So, I’m going to try to answer everything I can with as up-to-date information as possible, but I urge you to please make sure that you’re following the Center for Disease Control website and as well as New Mexico Department of Health just to make sure that things aren’t changing out from underneath us as we speak.

Vince Trujillo: What type of exposure does the medical field have right now? What are the concerns in regards to firefighters and first responder or even those who are going into the ER for the first time? What type of exposure do they have as far as being susceptible to contracting it?

Dr. Chelsea White: Well, as you know, those of us who are out in the field and EMS and those of us in the emergency departments especially share a common exposure to all illnesses. We’re all equally faced with patients that have unknown illnesses every day. So, this is certainly not unique to COVID. And in fact, I think the COVID situation, I hope will encourage us to be much more careful with all illnesses once the COVID situation passes. But we are exposed and especially to respiratory illnesses like this one. As we have learned, COVID is being spread through respiratory droplets, which means anytime any amount of saliva or other respiratory secretion is aerosolized. It gets in the air and that is potentially infectious to us.

So, anytime anybody coughs, anytime anybody sneezes, anytime anybody spits when they’re talking, we all do that, we know that. That exposes anybody around. And we in EMS and in the emergency departments are often the first point of contact and are often the first ones to note the concerning symptoms that a patient may have. And so we may be exposed before we are able to protect ourselves and before we are able to protect the patient. And in both situations with appropriate PPE for us in the field and in the emergency departments as well as a mask on the patient to try to capture those droplets before they get spread into the air.

Robert Sanchez: Great. Thank you. So, Doctor, just being that it’s probably not, it’s if but it’s when first responders and firefighters, even healthcare workers are going to be exposed to this, which I’m sure healthcare workers already have, obviously. What happens when a firefighter or first responders are exposed to it in the field and they got a positive for COVID-19?

Dr. Chelsea White: So, I think I’d actually take a step back from that in that what happens when you are exposed before you get tested? Because that is really the scariest part. And I think that we need to first of all realize that there are steps in place to protect us. The first step for EMS providers is dispatch. So, dispatch in our MPDS call centers as well as our smaller call centers have all been using special questions to screen callers ahead of time. And that includes asking the important questions; does the patient have a fever? Is the patient coughing? Does the patient have trouble breathing? We were initially asking travel questions, but as COVID has become more widespread, we’re no longer asking that because that’s not as much of a risk. So, hopefully if the questions have been asked appropriately and if the caller has given answers appropriately, hopefully we will have a warning ahead of time that we need to put on a full PPE.

And I’m sure that you just as I have been listening to the radio channels back and forth and we have been hearing a lot of dispatch saying, put on appropriate PPE and telling about the risk factor. So, that right there is already our first line of defense. Our second line of defense is us asking those same questions. If we haven’t gotten positive answers to that from dispatch, we need to be asking those same questions and if any of them are positive or if any of them turn positive, because we all know that patients sometimes change their answers or may suddenly start coughing even though they said they weren’t. We need to put a mask on them and we need to retreat and put our PPE. What happens if you do get coughed on? What happens if you do get sneezed on?

If you’re in full PPE according to CDC guidelines and that includes a face shield, eye protection/face shield, that includes N95 respirator mask, that includes impervious gown and of course our gloves. If you’re exposed to a patient who ultimately test positive for COVID and you’ve worn all of those things you are safe. You don’t need to be quarantined, you don’t need to be tested. Now, what if however, what if you’re not in full PPE and you get coughed on? Well, that is a different situation. At that point, you need to start monitoring your symptoms. As soon as you have any of the symptoms of COVID yourself, that’s when you need to be in isolation and you need to determine whether you need to get a test or not. I’ll get to that in a second.

Now, if you end up with a patient who is positive, the State Department of Health is tracking these very carefully. They’re tracking it very carefully, who is positive and who has come in contact with those positives so that we can get the information back to our providers on how to check themselves. Now, if you have been exposed, the guidelines for you are the same as the general public. What you need to do is you need to isolate yourself at home, which means not going to work and that means watching your symptoms carefully and you need to be checking yourself for fever, cough and shortness of breath. Should any of those develop, you’re going to need to go get tested as well. Should the shortness of breath develop, you need to get tested. If you just have a fever and a cough right now, we are recommending that as long as you’re safe to stay home, that you stay home.

A new guideline has just been released by the state about when you can come out of your isolation and I will check on that in just a second. But you need to maintain isolation unless you are truly getting sick. And this is what we are telling the public too. Isolate at home until you’re truly having severe illness symptoms like difficulty breathing and that’s when you need to go in to the hospital to get tested.

Robert Sanchez: Well, great information Doctor. Like you said, information is changing on a consistent basis and it’s our responsibility too as firefighters or first responders to actually check the CDC guidelines and make sure that we’re taking appropriate action on calls. Now, if someone with a confirmed test actually goes into the ER, what do they do actually in the ER to keep them quarantined from the rest of the patients or healthcare workers so they don’t to get exposed. What exactly happens?

Dr. Chelsea White: So, that varies from hospital to hospital. But in general, patients that have either a known positive test who now have severe symptoms or a patient who has symptoms that are concerning for COVID, are supposed to have a mask placed on them and then immediately placed into a negative pressure room. There will be signs posted on the door that explain that anybody who needs to come in, needs to be in full PPE and we will try as much as possible to reduce the possibility of aerosolization. So, the problem of course with COVID is it’s a respiratory illness and so many cases, patients are going to need oxygen. In many cases, patients might even need albuterol. They might need to have an advanced airway or CPAP or BiPAP. All of that stuff creates respiratory droplets in the air and makes things more difficult.

That’s the reason why these patients need to be in the negative pressure rooms. That’s the reason why we need to be in full protective gear. But we also need to do what we can to minimize those droplets creating out of this is that for patients that look like they’re having trouble breathing and heading towards meeting to be intubated, we want to intubate them earlier. CPAP has been a tremendous help in the field of EMS over the last decade or so, because that has helped prevent intubations in the field and in emergency departments. This is the exception to that. We really need to avoid CPAP on patients in the field and in the emergency departments unless we have the appropriate equipment to deal with the respiratory droplets. So, these patients are getting intubated a lot earlier than previous respiratory ailments.

Robert Sanchez: Oh, well great. So, I think our audience out there. So, these are questions that we get asked sometimes even in the field responding to 911 calls. And I appreciate that information. I think it’s a benefit to the public. Another question, Doctor, we get asked quite a bit is, what solutions really work to kill the virus? Is it hand sanitizer? Does it actually work? Does it actually kill the COVID-19 virus? And other than just the plane hand-washing, that seems to be beneficial more to killing the virus than anything. What could you tell us about these hand washing solutions and washing your hands?

Dr. Chelsea White: So what I can tell you is what I know from following the CDC guidelines, I am by no means a cleaning solution expert. What is being recommended right now is washing your hands with soap and water for at least 20 seconds and that makes sense. That’s removing debris including any sort of viral particles with the soap and the water. We know that we don’t have a sink in the front of the ambulance or in the front of the rescue. That makes it difficult when we’re out in the field. I am not aware of the testing results on a commercially available products like your alcohol based hand sanitizers. This is what is being recommended right now. I’m sure that they are doing testing to see if this actually kills the virus, but in absence of a sink with water and soap, using the alcohol based hand sanitizer is the next best thing. So, that is the current recommendation. I wish I was able to speak with more authority on how well it works.

Robert Sanchez: Right. No, great. I thank you for that. I think there’s a lot of questions out there, especially for us watching the news and even talking amongst the first responders. That’s kind of the thing out there is, what really works and what doesn’t work. And I think the thing of just the unknown is tough for first responders and firefighters, paramedics-

Vince Trujillo: You know, Robert, as someone from the general public, this is a question I have. How are the first responders informed? Are they informed just as a general public is? I would imagine that there’s some type of system for informing and cautionary measures, et cetera, et cetera. How does that take place? And even from the ER standpoint, Dr. White? So, I guess that question is for both of you, if you don’t mind, as far as how you receive your information.

Dr. Chelsea White: And when you say for an individual patient or just in general, like how do we prepare for the day?

Vince Trujillo: Well, let’s say for instance I needed to communicate with you guys about an outbreak in a certain area of the city or information just overall. What agencies or news sources do you receive your information and guidance?

Dr. Chelsea White: So I’ll take that question if you don’t mind, Robert.

Robert Sanchez: Sure, absolutely.

Dr. Chelsea White: We on a national scale, we receive information from the CDC website. So, that’s at the same time that the public does. However, on a local level, we receive information from the New Mexico Department of Health. There is a health advisor network that sends out bulletins on an as needed basis to subscribers to that network, which are of course health providers.

Vince Trujillo: Ahh ha great (affirmative).

Dr. Chelsea White: So, that tells specifically about things that are happening in New Mexico. And in certain areas or statewide. So, that is really the way that things happen from that role obviously I’m at, which is where a lot of stuff starts that really relies on the agencies themselves as they discover information. Most of the information though that we get, I think the best answer to your question is through health alert network through the state.

Vince Trujillo: Okay.

Robert Sanchez: Great. So, I know specifically, Doctor, we’ve talked about legislation and laws that I think we can work hand in hand through the state of New Mexico. But one of the things I wanted to ask about that was, in the ER for first responders requiring blood-borne or blood tests when exposed to blood-borne pathogens. What kind of legislature can we assist with or work together hand in hand with the air physicians or physicians in the state of New Mexico and first responders in the next coming legislature?

Dr. Chelsea White: Well, thanks for bringing that up Robert. I am also the president of the New Mexico chapter of the National Association of EMS Physicians and the National Association of EMS Physicians is the professional group for EMS physicians, actually internationally that work hard to advance the field of EMS in many different ways including EMS advocacy. And a special topic that we are very interested in, even before this COVID outbreak was the ability to get source testing for patients that may have accidentally or hopefully not intentionally exposed healthcare providers in the field and in the emergency departments. Right now we don’t have the ability to compel a source patient to provide a blood sample for testing. Other states do have legislation that compels patients to provide blood for source testing and I look forward to working with you to see what kind of legislation we can get in New Mexico that can help EMS providers and help the hospital personnel better understand their exposure risk if they have been exposed by a patient.

Robert Sanchez: Absolutely. Yeah. So, we’ve always worked hand in hand in the field and I could definitely see us working hand in hand in the legislature. And we got a good asset and we’re fortunate or I am fortunate to be involved in New Mexico Professional Firefighters, but what’s also extends to the International Association of Firefighters, all over the United States. So, I know like you mentioned, there’s legislature out there in some other States that we can utilize for us. So, we don’t have to reinvent the wheel all the time. We could just get legislature and kind of adjust it and edit it to what would benefit first responders, firefighters, healthcare workers and physicians throughout the state of New Mexico.

Robert Sanchez: So, I definitely look forward to work with you with that. So, last thing I wanted to ask Doctor, so what can we do next time just to better prepare the hospitals and even fire service first responders throughout the state of New Mexico, so we do have an epidemic or that comes up again as COVID-19? I guess, I don’t know, what did we fail at and what could we do better?

Dr. Chelsea White: Well, I don’t know that I can speak specifically to what we failed at, but I can certainly speak to what we need to make sure that we are ready for next time. And that involves the unknown. So, that makes it hard to prepare of course. But what we do know is that we are as EMS providers and as emergency department providers, we know that we are exposed to all sorts of diseases all the time, some of which are airborne, some of which are respiratory droplets spread like we’re seeing now. So, that means that we need to be prepared for not just the next outbreak, but for the next patient who may have something that is actually that we’re very used to, but we just don’t want to catch. Like the flu, like RSV or like the next novel virus that’s out there.

Dr. Chelsea White: So, we need to be provided with and well stocked with all of the PPE that’s necessary for this current situation. But we also need to be armed with the knowledge and just the general practice that we probably should be using this a whole lot more than we are on just regular old calls. The next time you go on a call with somebody who has a cough, make sure that you’re wearing protective gear. An epidemic or pandemic situation like that at that point. We just need to make sure that we’ve got the protective gear that we think is most likely to protect us for whatever we’re going to face next time.

Robert Sanchez: Absolutely. So, I think we all get complacent sometimes even as first responders and healthcare workers about using our PPE. Let’s face it, sometimes we don’t do it like we should. And definitely if there was an eye opener for us to make us remember to wear our PPE, this is the time that we’ve actually remembered and we’re understanding it more and knowing how important it is. A lot of the times, it just seems like it’s not important, but we all know it’s important for other blood-borne pathogens or exposure to anything else.

Robert Sanchez: So, Doctor, thank you for being on the show. Like I said, it’s an honor working with you. I’ve worked with you in the past and our organization and firefighters across the United States, New Mexico want to work with you and especially passing legislature. I look forward to it. Is there anything else you wanted to add, doctor on this podcast for our audience?

Dr. Chelsea White: Absolutely. Thank you again, Robert for having me on. I want to just stress a couple more things. First of all, the information is changing every day. Please, please don’t use this as your only source of information. Please check the CDC website. Please check the New Mexico Department of Health website. Secondly, please wear your PPE. I know it’s a pain to put on. I know it’s a pain to take off, but please be very careful about this. It is really important that you stay healthy. For your own health, for the health of your family and for the health of your patients. So, that also means isolating yourself right now. I know that we’re talking a lot about social distancing, et cetera. We’re at a higher risk for coming in contact with this disease and we’re at a higher risk for transmitting this to others. Even if it doesn’t affect us that much personally, even if it’s just a bad cold for us, we could be taking it somewhere else.

So, that means that we need to, when we are not at work, we need to be staying at home and trying to avoid the general public as much as possible. That’s the only way that we’re going to… As a society and as a community to slow the spread is to slow just contact with others. And again, because we are seeing sick patients more than the average person is seeing, we really need to make sure that we are trying to stay away from other people when we are off duty as much as possible.

Vince Trujillo: Well thank you Dr. White. Thank you so much. Coming from the public, I can’t thank you and all the healthcare workers and first responders enough for everything that you’re doing for our city and our state. Thank you so much Robert Sanchez for being a first responder, thanks for putting this podcast together. We will definitely be assessing this healthcare crisis as we go and bring some more episodes later in the year from the perspective of other healthcare professionals and first responders. And we’re asking you listeners out there subcribe to the podcast, give us a review or drop us a line and let us know about what you think. Go to FireFighterKingdom.com for more information and on how to be a guest on the show. Dr. White thank you so much for joining and Robert I’m signing off for this episode.

Robert Sanchez: Good signing off, so-

Dr. Chelsea White: Thank you, stay healthy.

Robert Sanchez: Stay healthy and we say bye to the FireFighter Kingdom until our next episode.

Vince Trujillo: Sounds good. Thanks a lot. Everybody. Take care.

Dr. Chelsea White: Be safe.

The post #2 Covid March 2020 Update: with Dr. Chelsea White appeared first on FireFighter Kingdom.

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[soysaucevictim]

Yeah, I’ll just get on with it. :Ic

-

June 25

Got up a bit before 8AM and went to the facility (despite only managing a couple hours of sleep... was too excited about the Sanders Sides episode).

Seeking Safety group was spent talking about anger, springing off last week.

Then, I did the DD. 1′ squat hops with EC. Did this one while I was out at the facility this morning. I counted 95 reps and, oh man, that burn was a willpower game.

Spent the rest of my time there working on some composition sketches and socializing. (Spoiler: one is Breaking Bad related and the other was SaSi.)

Was roped into playing rummy with the family, once I got back home. :P

Watched some more YouTube and gaming before getting to the rest of my exercise.

First, Day 22 of the NC. “Fortitude”, meaning plank rotations. I just went for Level 2, if I had more energy I mighta went for 2′. I counted 32 reps in my 1′. Doable work.

Last, Day 22 of PUP. Lowerbody work. Managed to keep my legs up (with leaning assist though) through the whole sequence. Watching the aforementioned episode made those 12′ more bearable. Oh man did it burn. :,D

Well, at least I went to bed at a more sensible hour than “normal“ (before 1AM.)

-

June 26

Been up since a bit after noon.

Most of my day was on the usual - but including SaSi obsessing over here on Tumblr.

But I did my exercise.

First, today’s DD. 30 air circles with EC. I wasn't totally sure if going into this jittery from sugar was going to mess with my balance much. The switch-up was challenging to find center, but I got through it okay. 

Second, Day 23 of the NC. “Discipline“, meaning a calf raise hold. I went for the full 2′, today. Really the hard part was keeping focus on balance, rather than muscle fatigue. But I believe I’ve done this before and could manage it just fine.  Also I do like balance stuff like this, :D

Last, Day 23 of the PUP. Upperbody work. This went a bit more smoothly than previous [knee] push-up days, but it was no less challenging (especially the push-up plank hold). Shoulders and upper arms’ recovery took awhile (extending arm out to use mouse had it trembling a bit). :P

I did procrastinate a bit too much to scratch out some notes for tomorrow’s appointment - but by my own standards I did get to bed before 2AM.

-

June 27.

Been up since a bit before 8AM. Was up early enough to fry some eggs and eat with some leftover rice for breakfast.

First thing I had to do after getting picked up was attend my psych appointment (got some HW to mull over when I have the energy.) Then, was able to pick up some meds before getting to the facility.

Then, worked on the comp sketch I have in mind for Remus and did the DD before WRAP Group (My “HW” is going to hopefully draw-stream soon). The DD was 40 prone fly extensions with EC.  That got pretty challenging but still very doable. :D

I fiddled with a connect the dots handout to pass the time before heading back home.

Was back on my usual noise before getting the rest of my exercise done (later than intended.)

First, Day 24 of the NC. “Power“, meaning jump squats. Not the most enjoyable, but I did manage to go for 1′ of it today (counting 40 reps)... despite needing a couple more hours of sleep. orz

Last, Day 24 of the PUP. Yet another side plank day - and my feelings for ‘em haven’t gotten better. Definitely had to modify - needing to drop the side bridge holds a few times to recover (roughly at 30″-15″-15″ per side.) Not a fan of lunges - but I liked them marginally more than this.

-

June 28

Been up since about 1PM.

Most of my day was spent on the usual.

This was an active rest day, so I pretty much only did today’s DD as far as exercise went. 20 hop heel clicks with EC. A fun exercise and 20 are pretty doable to string together consistently.

-

June 29

Been up since about noon.

Most of my day was spent on the usual. But a good chunk was spent talking with my bro about Enneagram stuff (lowkey thrilled to engage him on that and MBTI). He also helped me out about that streaming issue.

I did do my exercises, as well.

First, today’s DD. 40 bridges with EC. Very manageable, even though I've overdone it on caffeine and sugar beforehand. Oof. orz

Second, Day 25 of the NC. “Resilience“, meaning reverse plank hold. I went for just 1′ today. Thought about more, but eh. 1′ was hard enough with my energy levels.

Last, Day 25 of the PUP. Lower body work. Fun, but did get to being a willpower game. I enjoyed this sequence, though!

-

June 30

I got up around 11AM.

Spent most of my day on the usual. Did do dishes and make dinner (watching a few episodes of Inuyasha as background noise). But, I’ve done some exercise as well.

First, today’s DD. 4′ raised arm hold with EC (frontal). This got pretty challenging, but knowing I've done things like it before was enough to keep me going. I also enjoyed the burn.

Second, Day 26 of the NC. “Plasticity“, meaning plank walk-outs. I went for 2′, going fairly slowly. I counted 11 reps, every out counting as one (or 23 if I counted the outs and ins as individual reps). Very doable at that pace.

Last, Day 26 of the PUP. Upperbody work. Managed to keep the arms up for the whole 6′ - which was not easy. But I do like these days a lot.

On a trivial note - did FINALLY get to unlocking the Tier 2 classes for Idle Wizard today. Not like that took me months of playing this damn game. :P

-

July 1

I got up around noon, today.

Spent much of my day on the usual stuff. But I did watch the first 2 episodes of Good Omens with pops. I can dig it.

First, today’s DD. 100 jumping jacks with EC. Ooof, stringing 100 of these together with mild dehydration was ill-advised. Brut I managed to get through this one without too much trouble. Still enjoy jacks a bunch! :D

Second, Day 27 of the NC. “Spirit“, meaning jumping lunges. Yeah, after all those jumping jacks - I was happy with going for just 30″- or 20 reps. Not a huge favorite, but that load was very manageable.

Last, Day 27 of the PUP. Balancing low body work. Watching SaSi is a good distraction from the fatigue. But I still kept my center for both raised leg holds - the jump to 1′ each was definitely tough. Didn’t drop the legs, but they didn’t stay at waist height though. :,D

After that I took a shower, gamed a bit, and am going to archive some things before getting to bed tonight.

[ahcukmummy]

A day in the life …..

As I have said before and if you are walking the same journey will know all too well, no 2 days are the same with AHC. But I thought I would give you all a peek into Abigail’s recent days.

Monday

Today is day 9 of AHC episodes

7am – All woken up with Abigail screaming for a drink and shoving her fingers in our ears / noses – As is the usual occurance Abigail woke up during the night and had to come into our bed

7.20am – Gavin has the kettle on and Abigail is now sat happily drinking hot chocolate

7.25am – Abigail fingers are starting to cramp and her arm is now not working ( hemi episode)

8.40am – Gavin leaves to take Hugh to school which causes Abigail to have a meltdown and now her leg is also not working and her mouth is starting to droop on one side – Today is going to be a long day, It’s OK Gavin is working from home today so I have an extra pair of hands

11am – Abigail has bad dystonia and is crying in pain – there is nothing worse than having to listen to your child crying in pain and having to wait for the medications to kick in

11.10am – Abigail is now in a bilateral episode. All 4 of Abigail’s limbs are not working, her mouth is being affected and more than anything she looks scared – My heart breaks a little bit more as each minute ticks by and we just do not know how long this is going to last .

12pm – Gave Abigail some melatoinin to see if we can get her off for a sleep and paced the floor – Abigail seems more settled if you walk and rock her , not an easy task at 17+kg

12.15 – 12,55pm – Abigail asleep , hopefully when she wakes up the episode will have at least improved to a hemi

1pm – Abigail is awake and still in bilateral episode. All we can do is give her lots of hugs and make her as comfortable as possible

3.30pm – Abigail is still in bilateral and really starting to more and more unsettled so Gavin & I decide as per Abigail’s protocol we will give her buccal to see if we can break the episode and give some relief. We don’t like doing this as it does not always work and Abigail has a tendency to seize when in bilateral episode and it means that if this happens we have reduced the drugs we can admisiter at home.

3.40pm – Give Abigail 7,5mg buccal and wait to see if it is going to work

3.55pm – The buccal has worked and Abigail is now asking for a drink

4.10pm – Gavin goes to collect Hugh from football and I make Abigail some ready brek as she has not been able to eat for most of the day

4.30pm – Abigail arm and leg have stopped working again ( hemi episode) Is she ever going to get a break !

5.30 pm – Decide to bring Abigail’s evening medications forward so that we can bring bedtime forward

                                        and this ain’t all of it :-)

7.30pm Abigail is asleep and in bed – fingers crossed tonight will be the night that the episode breaks

9,40pm – Abigail has woken up – Gavin goes up to settle

10.45pm – Abigail has woken up – I go up to settle

11.20pm- Gavin & I get into bed and pray tomorrow is a better day for Abigail

In between all of the above we have also read with Hugh, talked about his day at school, cooked Hugh dinner and tidied up as best we can. So glad Gavin and I are a good team

Gavin & I had crusty bread & cheese for dinner – too late to cook!!!!

 Tuesday

6.45am – Woken up by Abigail protesting that she wants “ Mummy” yes Abigail has woken up during the night again and is in our bed.

6,55am – Gavin, Abigail & I go downstairs to start the day

7am – Abigail’s arm and leg have stopped working – Gavin has to go into work today so I am on my own today

8.40am – Gavin & Hugh leave for school & work

8.40am – 9am – Abigail screams looking for Daddy & Hugh, finally distract by putting photos on the PC for us to look at.

10.30am – Abigail has gone in to a bilateral episode – It is going to be a long long day

12pm – Abigail is having problems controlling her saliva / swallow and is really unhappy as the dystonia is back with full force. Give Abigail some pain relief and hope it helps

12.10 – 1pm Walk and rock Abigail to try and give some relief

1pm – Ask one of the neighbours who I have seen if they would mind holding Abigail while I use the toilet.

1.30 pm – Abigail seems more settled so we have snuggles on the sofa and watch tv – All the time keeping a eye on her pulse ox machine

3.30pm – Hugh comes home from school and he joins us on the sofa for a hug and to tell me all about his day and reads his book beautifully to Abigail & I

3.40pm – Abigail starts to seize

3.43pm – Administer the first lot of emergency drugs, call neighbour to see if Hugh can go over for a while

3.50pm – Call 999

3.53pm – Administer second dose of emergency meds and put Abigail onto oxygen as her stats have started to drop

3.54pm – wassapp Gavin too let him know what is happening and ask him to head home

4.15pm – Rapid response car arrives – It is someone who knows Abigail, which is always a bonus

4.25pm -  Ambulance arrives and the first responder leaves us in their care

5.10pm - Gavin gets home

6pm – Ambulance crew leave after giving Abigail a full check over. We and the ambulance staff try to keep Abigail at home as much as we can as going into A&E always adds the risk to triggering the AHC

6.30pm – Hugh comes back from the neighbours who have fed and watered him.

6.45pm – Abigail has her evening meds and pjs on

7,30pm – Abigail settled in bed

Gavin & I decide that we are both too tired to cook so end up ordering takeout.

During today the only adult conversation / interaction I have had is the 5 mins while the neighbour held Abigail and then when the ambulance staff arrived.  

Life can be VERY lonely some days

After these two days the lovely Hugh fell ill as well but that’s a whole other story how I manage both 😊

Catch up with you all soon Em x –cureahcukmummy