[cw vent: chronic illness, general world politics mention w no detail)
"man. i'm so tired. i feel like i can't do anything selfship related. is it because my energy's been sapped from family visiting and everyone wanting to do ~summer activities~ nonstop? am i so in my head about "getting ren's story right without stepping over any lines" that i've backed myself into a perfectionist corner? is the world just going to shit so hard that i can't have one (1) minute of escape on this blog before going back to working through the political hellscape we're in? god even trying to make this plushie pattern is killing me even though i want to hold my guy So Badly AUGH."
/finishes the plushie pattern after trying multiple body bases and literally buying a japanese ebook about plushie face and hair design/
"actually what if i lived forever and spent all of that time making an army of these fuckers to swim in? what then?"
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Apologies to everyone waiting on the new chapter of TMWYH I have been SO ill since like Saturday, I've literally spent the last 2 days in bed, and I'm still super gross and congested 😭😭
But I've also just reread what I've already written and ngl it suckkkks like it's so underdeveloped and ooc and just crap, idk if it's the cold fuge or what but it needs a complete overhaul so I'm basically starting again with it lkgjldfkgjdf sorry nerds!!
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update on oh baby I'm a fool for you
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i am so close to finishing this fic i can taste it. just one more writing session, maybe two, and it'll be done
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ok just had my dr appt and am feeling a lot better.
we’re going to increase my dosage of the meds + do a diagnostic test on friday to see if my fallopian tubes are blocked (and i guess the test itself can improve conception rates after because of the type of dye they use?). the cost of the test is within the range i felt i could afford so that’s good too. most importantly she was really reassuring about the “if you have 3 failed cycles IUI won’t work for you” advice that is allllll over the internet. her take is that the research focuses mostly on heterosexual couples who likely had difficulties conceiving naturally for a year or more before seeking fertility care... meaning they’ve typically gone through 15-16 unsuccessful cycles (12 of trying to conceive naturally + 3-4 with IUI). in that case there’s likely some other reason things aren’t working and so it makes sense, timing wise and financially, to move on to the highest-tech option (ie IVF). but for single women and/or lesbians who are trying to conceive, those 3-4 IUI cycles are their first and only attempts. and if the medical history looks good and the person is responding well to the medication, then it might just be a timing and luck thing. so she says if everything looks good on the test we’re doing friday, she recommends that i try six cycles before we reassess. and if i can balance the costs and don’t want to do IVF, she says there’s no reason why i couldn’t follow the regular guidance for couples trying non-medicated cycles ie a full year of trying (although at that point i might decide the financial / emotional cost isn’t worth it).
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-->And then, at last, it was off to the store for the Final Push! Victor started things off by Copypastoing a bunch of fireflies for Smiler to make Spirit Lifter Gummies with, then hopped on the flower-arranging bench to make more arrangements while Alice and Smiler headed downstairs to the processing room. Smiler focused on making their gummies and Red Hot Tablets, while Alice puttered around making boxes of cheese and mayonnaise and cleaning spoiled food out of the fridges. It wasn't long until she'd made enough boxes to completely fill that one shelf by the fizzy juice fridge! :D
-->...Which mean I now had nothing to do with her, as we didn't need any more prepared food or meat and Smiler and Victor were handling the products we DID need. Wanting to keep her busy and out of the way, I decided to have her go paint the mural on the side of the building with a nice cityscape. This was made a bit more difficult by my Sims getting stuck idling a lot for some reason this session -- something that I THINK was related to Smiler making the Red Hot Tablets on their apothecary bench, as it seemed to happen primarily while they were busy with that. I'm not sure WHY -- perhaps the bench needs some updates. (I mean, we already have this weird animation thing where Smiler spins around AWAY from the bench whenever they complete making some gummies...) They never full-on FROZE like that one time where Alice got completely stuck in the kitchen, but still -- it was weird.
-->Anyway -- even with the idling bug, the trio managed to keep busy! Smiler kept making gummies and tablets; Victor kept making flower arrangements; and Alice kept working on her mural! And all the while, the shelves kept filling up more and more with the product of their labors... Well, Smiler and Victor's labors, as Alice had already done HER bit. XD
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Starting from February 6th I'll enter in another wave of finals for a week and a half. It'll need some preparation beforehand so my activity may drop until they're over. The good thing is that the remaining half week of the second one I'll be free and the few couple of weeks after finals tend to be more chill, so expect me to resume the normal writing activity then!
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i pondered whether or not to write tonight but then my HOBBYCRAFT PARCEL ARRIVED so i'm sitting on the floor getting my hands covered in modelling paste like a little arts and crafts gremlin
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this fic is currently just under 25k, we're in chapter 4 close to the end of it based on my average chapter word counts.
and we've gone off the outline so i'm not even sure where I am but somewhere around page 8 out of 41. maybe? idk. stuff on that page has to happen and it hasn't so i'm definitely not past it yet.
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