#hospice care in california

[angelicarehospice]

Medical Professionals, including Doctors and Nurses, Provide Pain Management and Medical Care - Angelicare Hospice

Hospice care in California is typically delivered by a team of professionals working in unison to cater to various aspects of a patient's well-being. This team-based approach ensures that patients receive personalised attention from different angles. Medical professionals, including doctors and nurses, provide pain management and medical care, ensuring that patients are as comfortable as possible. Social workers offer emotional support and assist both patients and families in coping with the challenges that come with a terminal diagnosis.

[suncresthospicecare]

What is a Skilled Nursing Facility? - Suncrest Hospicecare

A skilled nursing facility, often referred to as a nursing home or convalescent home, is a residential setting that provides round-the-clock medical care and rehabilitation services. These facilities are equipped to handle patients with various medical needs, offering a higher level of care than what is typically available at home or in an assisted living community.When searching for a skilled nursing facility, it's crucial to consider the specific needs of the individual and the services provided by the facility. Take the time to visit potential facilities, ask questions about their staff, amenities, and care plans.

[the-evergreen-life]

How Much Does in-Home Care Cost in Fresno, California?

When facing the challenges of a serious or terminal illness, having access to attentive medical care and pain management in a comfortable environment is a top priority. Evergreen Life Care Homes offers specialized home hospice care Fresno California and palliative care services that come right into homes to provide whole-person comfort and support. Hospice care is a unique medical service for those dealing with life-limiting illnesses – focusing care on comfort and quality of life when a cure is unlikely. Evergreen Life Care’s home hospice care Fresno California consists of compassionate doctors, nurses, social workers, spiritual counselors, and trained caregivers who provide. Read more:- https://qr.ae/ps3mTY

[agingwellhomecare]

Empowering Compassionate Care: A Guide to Murrieta Home Health, Palliative, and Hospice Services

As we age, or when illness strikes, the comfort of home becomes even more precious. Aging Well Home Care understands this. We're dedicated to providing compassionate Murrieta home health care, palliative care services in Temecula, and hospice care providers in San Diego – empowering you or your loved ones to receive the care they need in the familiar surroundings of home.

[andrewsmithw]

How Long Does a California Hospice Patient Live?

Do you want to know How Long Does a California Hospice Patient Live? The goal of hospice care is to extend the patient’s life and enhance his quality of existence. The hospice facility’s service providers prioritise the soul, body, and mind. Patients with terminal illnesses frequently think about receiving hospice care. Many families wait until their loved ones are close to passing away before enrolling them in a hospice care programme. A study found that 3 weeks after considering hospice care, nearly 50% of individuals passed away. For more information, read the entire article!

[ynghospicecare]

Hospice care is a type of end-of-life care that focuses on providing comfort and support to individuals who are terminally ill, as well as their families. YNG Hospice is a team of professionals dedicated to providing exceptional end-of-life care for our patients and their families. We believe that everyone deserves to experience the highest quality of life possible, no matter what their circumstances may be. That's why we're committed to delivering compassionate and comprehensive care to those who need it most.

[rxnursing]

Contact best home health care agency in Sacramento

Rx HealthCare Services is able to assist you if you're recovering from operative surgery, physical trauma, or any form of hospital treatment that requires monitoring upon being discharged to your home. Our specialized home health team works closely with other service providers to personalize your care and we ensure that all of your needs are met. Our nurses will visit you in your place of residence to provide a fully comprehensive assessment of your individual needs. Our team will also work directly with your family to provide you with a personalized plan of care to help determine the best schedule for you and your needs. Contact our home health care agency in Sacramento.

[deadpresidents]

My inbox is filled with a ton of messages asking some form of this question, so here's what I would do it I was appointed the Pope of the Democratic Party and had the absolute power to shape what happens next.

First of all, I'd wait a few days until the news cycle is less of a hurricane. But once things calmed down a bit, I'd get a number of the past and present leaders of the party together to go visit President Biden and discuss the way forward. The best-case scenario would need the President to be on board with stepping aside, and I think that would require some serious conversations between Biden and his family and the party elders/leaders. The heavy-hitters would need to go see the President. I'd send President Obama and President Clinton and the other surviving past Democratic Presidential nominees: Al Gore, Hillary Clinton, and John Kerry. (Obviously, President Carter is still alive but he's 99 years old and in hospice care, so he wouldn't be involved.) They'd be joined by other Democratic heavyweights like Nancy Pelosi, Hakeem Jeffries, Chuck Schumer, Dick Durbin, Bernie Sanders, Jim Clyburn, etc.

It will be a difficult conversation because Joe Biden has spent his life wanting to be President of the United States, and he finally reached the pinnacle and nobody wants to give up that position if they don't have to. But I'd make sure they appeal to his sense of duty and patriotism -- the same things that led him to challenge Trump in 2020 when it seemed like Biden was finished with electoral politics in the wake of his son Beau's death. President Biden knows how dangerous Trump is and what this election truly means, and the Democratic leaders would need to hammer home the idea that while he was the person best able to defeat Trump in 2020, things have changed in the past four years and he's not that guy anymore.

In order for it to work, Biden would need to release his delegates and allow the Democratic National Convention to be an open convention. There are going to be many people and many reasonable arguments that Biden should endorse Kamala Harris since she is his Vice President. But the nominee would be chosen by the delegates to the Democratic Convention, so Biden couldn't just crown Harris as his heir. If he feels that she's the best choice to be the nominee and he feels a sense of loyalty to her, then I think Biden has to go further than stepping aside as the candidate. I think he would have to resign as President and allow Kamala Harris to assume the Presidency and go into the open convention as the incumbent President. That would give her a significant advantage and probably swing the nomination her way. But that's an even bigger thing to ask of President Biden, so I can't imagine being able to talk him into that. Even if he steps aside as the candidate, I think he's going to want to finish his term and he deserves that. I'm a longtime fan of Kamala Harris -- I campaigned with her for Barack Obama while she was still the DA in San Francisco. But I'm not sure she's the best candidate, either. Still, she will be in the mix and one of the favorites in an open convention.

I think an open convention would be really fascinating for people to see in 2024 since it hasn't really happened in 70+ years. It might be good for the Democratic Party and allow fresh candidates to come to the surface. I don't think there's any doubt Vice President Harris would be a candidate and it seems likely that California Governor Gavin Newsom and Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer would be major possibilities. Pennsylvania Governor Josh Shapiro and Maryland Governor Wes Moore are rising stars, but I don't think they have the name recognition to be the nominee this year. I really like Transportation Secretary Pete Buttigieg and think he has all of the tools necessary to be a good President, but I'm not sure where he would stand nationally. I don't think Michelle Obama is a possibility. I know she's the dream candidate for a lot of people, but I don't think she likes politics and I don't think she has any interest in running. I think a real dark horse would be Kentucky Governor Andy Beshear. The only Democratic Presidential candidate to win Kentucky since 1980 was Bill Clinton. Beshear has won three statewide races in that very red state, and he won the most recent election in Kentucky by running as a pro-choice candidate defending a women's right to choose. I've seen Senator Raphael Warnock of Georgia mentioned, but I feel like his Senate seat is so important that he's needed there more than as President.

There are also two wild card candidates with such strong national name recognition that they would totally shake up the race. However, they'd also be controversial in many ways, but particularly because Biden would be stepping aside because of his age and these two candidates are roughly the same age as Trump. It would eliminate the argument of a fresh Democratic candidate taking Biden's place, but no one would question their experience or star power. The first one is a pretty obvious one: Hillary Clinton. I think she'd energize women voters even more than she did in 2016 because it would be a chance to get back at what happened that year. Plus, she did win the popular vote against Trump. I mean, it's a simple fact that more people voted for her in 2016 than the person that she lost to the election to. The other person also won the election that they "lost": Al Gore. I don't know if he'd do it, but you couldn't find a better advocate for fighting climate change as President than Al Gore. He's also been out of politics long enough that he might seem fresh, even if he's only two years younger than Trump. And it would be a great story -- redemption for the election that he lost at the Supreme Court rather than the ballot box.

I don't know who I would choose if I could pick the nominee, but I think an open convention would be healthy for democracy and for the Democrats. Either way, I think Biden would deserve the opportunity to save face by having him speak to the nation and explain that he is stepping aside as the nominee as an act of political courage and duty to a country facing an existential threat named Donald Trump. Let him talk about how proud he is of the things his Administration has accomplished and that he was able to stop Donald Trump once and by doing this, he is making sure America stops Donald Trump one last time. And guess what? Then he can do what I'm sure it is breaking his heart to not be able to do right now -- he can pardon his only surviving son because he'll be a lame-duck and won't have to worry about the political blowback.

[secretlythepits]

4 Months or 2 Years

When my mom was diagnosed with lung cancer, she was told she had 4 months to live. She had 11 masses in her brain. She tried full brain radiation but it didn’t have much of an effect. When we saw her oncologist, we expected a transfer to hospice.

Instead she threw out chemo and said maybe Mom could live for 2 more years. Mom never wanted chemo because she had witnessed its brutality on her brother and sister. We questioned quality of life and her oncologist spoke about her patient who just called her from a trip to California.

We left the appointment dumbfounded and went to a cafe to discuss it over sale and Nanaimo bars. We had already literally settled everything up with the funeral parlor. We had accepted the hard truth. At lunch Mom decided to try chemo, but her heart wasn’t in it. I think she felt like she had to for her girls. It just didn’t feel right, but what do you do with that information? You can’t crumple 2 years into a ball and make a basket in the trash can.

She did one round. It was awful. That’s not what this post is about. She died 4 months from her diagnosis. I think the 2 years was never really on the table. Don’t let anyone tell you hope is always a good thing. It can wield tremendous cruelty through delusion.

My mother died 7 hours before I was getting on a plane to take over her care. There are more than medical decisions that get made based on what an oncologist says. For 4 months, I could stay the whole time. I wanted to. I planned to. But 2 years was a different story. My kids couldn’t be away from their dad for that long. My sister had to work and care for her family too. My sister and I decided to rotate care. I started homeschooling my kids so we could be wherever whenever.

4 months or 2 years?

You make different decisions. Financial decisions. Logistical decisions. Communication decisions.

I have an idea of my husband’s timeline, but nothing definitive. There’s a giant question mark about immunotherapy that is unknowable from the onset. There are strong statistical probabilities.

This is what I’m wresting with now and I’ll use my mother’s timelines for a framework. To be clear, these are not my husband’s timeline projections, but the idea is the same. Is the end sooner or later?

Do I speak up about issues in our marriage and push for my needs?

4 Months:

No. Forgive and let go. Focus on the fundamental love and don’t add an emotional burden to him. I could do this easily in this time frame.

2 Years:

Yes. That’s too long to let hurt fester. It will bubble up anyway. There’s also a real possibility of resolving some or all of it, which would be amazing. I cannot suppress my feelings for years. I would be consumed with anger and resentment.

Do I put my goals on the back burner to prioritize his?

4 Months:

Yes. I will have more time and his is finite. Also, I’d want to maximize our time together.

2 Years:

No. I can give up some but not all. What if 2 years is 3 years or 4? I am coming off of a 3 1/2 year brain infection. I lost so much time. Then I immediately had to support his first cancer journey. And before all that, it was my mom dying. I’ve had nonstop emergencies for 6 years and I clawed my way from the edge of death. I can’t just turn over all my next years. My time is finite too.

But here’s the tricky part. He will only get worse. So, although it makes sense to be tending to him now as this is new and we are figuring things out, I might miss the only realistic opportunity I have to keep my life from being swallowed up by caregiving. The only certainty I know is that later will be worse.

How much time do I devote to building my finances?

Ah, maybe these are the same for both timelines. I’m struggling with being present to the moments and bucking down to focus on providing. Do I continue building my business, the dream I worked so hard for, that got dashed so many times these last 6 years? Or do I chuck it, take some classes to get a certification that would lead to a job I would hate, but would provide a stable income? He could have an emergency and no longer work at any moment. But, that’s also unlikely. Arg!

I hate that I am back in this 4 months or 2 years place. It was torture for me. I remember people telling me I couldn’t make a wrong choice.

I felt like I couldn’t make a right one and it paralyzed me.

Now that I think about it, in the end, I decided to make the choice that was best for me. The toxicity of extended family dynamics was too much for me. I decided mom made her choices (smoking) and I had an equal right to make mine (removing myself from a situation that unhinged me). Mom also wanted space to process after the onslaught of visitors. She needed some solitude. So I left and went home to calm down and recenter myself in my life and in the family I created. Rotating her care was practical but also gave me breathing room that I needed. I could have and would have stayed if we knew it was just 4 months, but I can’t deny that something really important happened to me when I took that break. I think I would have broken without it.

This is stream of consciousness so I didn’t know I’d land on the paragraph above. I just wanted to say what I was trying to figure out, what was hurting my heart. But now I think I landed on a compass. And it rings true because I feel my North Star blinking.

I have to continue to live my own life.

I always knew that. Always know that. The reason that truth felt out of reach is all the social conditioning around being a support. Women are expected to give up everything to be a caregiver, while one of the predictors of imminent divorce is a wife’s serious diagnosis. I am experiencing a personal crisis that exists within the context of our societal dynamic and it would be disingenuous to pretend I was immune to the influences of the patriarchy. And the thing is, I know what to do. It’s more of fear of judgement for doing what I know is right.

Two truths exist simultaneously:

I want to take care of him. I really, really do.

I want to take care of myself. I really, really do.

Why does one of those feel like a mandate and the other a source of guilt? Why the dichotomy?

Why is love for myself always supposed to be second place?

One thing is for sure: with 2 dead parents, a dying spouse, and kids to look after, nobody is going to take care of me

but me.

[remembertheplunge]

She is resolute. She is ready to go

May 9, 2023 Tuesday. 8:24pm

Javier from Hospice came to Zoe’s house at about 1pm. Denise and I were there with Zoe.

Skyler arrived soon after.

Denise, Skyler and I didn’t sleep well last night.

I was up at 2am. Went back to bed later for awhile.

I’m still in shell shock. Lack of sleep. And, it rips me up to see Zoe like this. There is an unspeakable horror tinge to it.

She is resolute. She is ready to go.

End of entry

Notes: One year later, May 9, 2024 Thursday 7:53pm

The above is a part of a continuing blog series which I began in May of 2023 and can be found in my blog archive.

I’m now reading and reviewing the blogs from the same day last year leading up to and after her May 14th death.

I had driven from my home in Modesto, California the 4 hours up to Chico the morning of May 9, 2023. Denise and Skyler were friends of my sisters who were going to aid in her end of life care. Javier from Enloe Hospital Hospice arrived and explained what to expect with Zoe’s end of life process. On May 9, Zoe was still very much conscious and aware of the nature of our meeting She was talking and making sense.Her attitude was good. She was present when Javier talked with us.

When the others left, Zoe and I sat her small living room area. She a large flat screen TV  elevated and 10 feet from where we were sitting. It played classical music and had beautiful changing nature scenes. Prior to her terminal illness, Zoe was an avid watcher of the news. She loved being up with what was going on in the world.

But now, her watching the nature scenes seemed to be part of her saying good bye to this world. Those scenes haunt me a bit now. Such huge signs of transition.

Zoe must have told me that she was ready to die. Thus, my line in the journal entry that she was resolute and ready to go. She maintained that resolve to let go into death until she went into a coma a few days later. The only even slight complaint she had about the experience was that she was surprise death would come so fast.

Zoe would die on May 14, 2023.

[angelicarehospice]

The goal of hospice care at home is to enhance the patient's quality of life - Angelicare Hospice

The goal of hospice care at home is to enhance the patient's quality of life during their final days. The hospice care nurse works collaboratively with the patient and their family to address physical symptoms, manage medications, and ensure the patient's comfort. This personalized approach fosters a sense of dignity and control for the patient.In the realm of hospice care, the compassionate care provided by hospice care nurses stands out as a beacon of support for individuals facing life-limiting illnesses. Whether in a “hospice care home california” or within the familiar walls of one's residence, the focus remains on improving the quality of life and providing comfort during the final stages of life. 

[suncresthospicecare]

Proper Guide to find: Skilled Nursing Facilities Near Me

In the realm of healthcare, finding the right skilled nursing facility near you is crucial for individuals requiring specialized care and attention. Skilled nursing facilities play a vital role in the recovery and well-being of patients who need comprehensive medical assistance. If you or a loved one is in need of such care, the key is to google online with precise words like “skilled nursing facility near me,” it's essential to explore the options available in your vicinity.

What is a Skilled Nursing Facility?

A skilled nursing facility, often referred to as a nursing home or convalescent home, is a residential setting that provides round-the-clock medical care and rehabilitation services. These facilities are equipped to handle patients with various medical needs, offering a higher level of care than what is typically available at home or in an assisted living community.

The Importance of Proximity

When searching for a skilled nursing facility, proximity becomes a critical factor. Having a facility nearby ensures that family members and friends can easily visit, providing emotional support to the resident. Additionally, quick access to medical care in case of emergencies is a significant advantage.

Medicare Nursing Home Coverage Explained

Understanding how Medicare covers nursing home services is vital for those considering skilled nursing facilities. Medicare, the federally funded health insurance program, offers coverage for certain aspects of skilled nursing care.

Medicare Part A Coverage

Medicare Part A, often known as hospital insurance, covers skilled nursing facility care under specific conditions. To qualify, the individual must have been hospitalized for at least three days, and the admission to the skilled nursing facility must be related to the hospital stay. This coverage includes room and board, nursing care, therapy services, and other related needs for a limited time.

Duration of Coverage

Medicare Part A covers the full cost of skilled nursing care for the first 20 days. However, from day 21 to day 100, a daily coinsurance amount is required. After day 100, Medicare coverage ends. It's important to note that Medicare does not cover long-term care, and individuals requiring extended nursing home stays may need to explore other financial options, such as Medicaid.

Navigating Your Options

When searching for a skilled nursing facility, it's crucial to consider the specific needs of the individual and the services provided by the facility. Take the time to visit potential facilities, ask questions about their staff, amenities, and care plans. Understanding the financial aspects, including “Medicare nursing home coverage” limitations, will help you make informed decisions about the best care for your loved one.

[tarlossource]

9-1-1: Lone Star: T.K. Gets News That Could Derail His Wedding to Carlos in This Exclusive Clip

Is the Tarlos marriage in jeopardy of being canceled?

Will T.K. Strand (Ronen Rubinstein) ever catch a break on 9-1-1: Lone Star? With his wedding to police officer Carlos Reyes (Rafael L. Silva) on the horizon, the paramedic is about to receive some news from his father, Owen (Rob Lowe), that could change the rest of their lives — or at least how they choose to live their final years.

In last week's episode of the Fox procedural drama, Owen's half-brother, Robert (played by Rob's real-life brother Chad Lowe), made his first real trip to Austin to meet T.K. and Carlos and make up for lost time with Owen, whom he met for the first time last season while their father was in hospice care. While showing pictures of his teenage daughters at dinner, Robert had a little bit of trouble remembering his second child's name. Later, Robert confided in Owen that he was recently diagnosed with Huntington's disease, a hereditary disorder that causes the progressive degeneration of nerve cells in the brain, and has already begun experiencing tremors and cognitive issues.

As it turns out, Robert drove himself from Southern California to Texas to spend time with the family he never knew he had and to warn Owen about their late father's Huntington's diagnosis. And in TV Guide's exclusive sneak peek at Tuesday's episode, Owen has to break the same news to T.K., adding that he will be taking time off work to drive Robert back to California (and, therefore, making Jim Parrack's Judd Ryder the interim captain of the 126).

T.K. understandably doesn't take the news very well, asking if he should postpone or call off his wedding to Carlos. "Dad, I can't marry Carlos knowing that I have a death sentence hanging over my head," he says.

"Son, we all have a death sentence hanging over our heads," Owen responds. With 48 hours left until their lives could change forever, how will the Strands react?

[lantur]

cancer tw,

My dad was diagnosed with extensive-stage small cell lung cancer 10 months ago. I learned recently that he is transitioning into hospice care. Derek and I are going to California from Thursday - Monday. It will be to say goodbye. I had a feeling this was coming, and soon. My dad has been declining steadily for the past 3 weeks.

I knew the news was coming, I've known it for 10 months now, but it was still overwhelming to learn the news. I told Derek first. I told my friends. I told my manager, since I'm taking some time off work. I asked friends to take care of Westin while we're gone. Derek and I booked flight tickets. It was a lot to coordinate. It's all coming so fast - like I still can't believe I'll be in California a day after tomorrow.

I've been processing it since I learned the news. I was thinking afterward that there's no worse word in the English language than "hospice." I know hospice is a good thing. I know that. From a professional perspective in the lens of my job. Even from a personal perspective. But when you hear the sentence that your family member is going into hospice, you know that the end is coming, that they're going, and that really fucking hurts, that really brings up a maelstrom of difficult emotions.

I hate cancer. I hate terminal cancer. I hate the sheer amount of human suffering and tragedy and pain and loss that cancer has caused. For the people who have cancer and had cancer - and for their family members and friends who have lost them. It is an evil, cruel disease. It was one of my biggest fears even before my dad was diagnosed, and now, it's even worse. I want someday to live in a world without cancer.

I know things are going to be hard for the next while here - I can't say how long. Days, weeks. I've been asking for strength to help me get through it, and grateful for the support I've had in this journey so far.

[andrewsmithw]

Tips for Visiting A Loved One in Hospice Care California

Both physically and emotionally taxing can be visiting a loved one who is receiving hospice care. Hospice care California is given to people in California who have terminal illnesses with the goal of giving them assistance, dignity, and comfort. Throughout the visit, compassion, sensitivity, and respect should be displayed.

[sunkissedfawn]

The Death of My Father

By Steve Martin

In his death, my father, Glenn Vernon Martin, did something he could not do in life. He brought our family together.

After he died at age 83, many of his friends told me how much they loved him—how generous he was, how outgoing, how funny, how caring. I was surprised at these descriptions. During my teenage years, there was little said to me that was not criticism. I remember him as angry. But now, ten years after his death, I recall events that seem to contradict my memory of him. When I was 16, he handed down to me the family’s 1957 Chevy. Neither one of us knew at the time that it was the coolest car anyone my age could have. When I was in the third grade he proudly accompanied me to the school tumbling contest where I won first prize. One day, while I was in single digits, he suggested we play catch in the front yard. This offer to spend time together was so anomalous that I didn’t quite understand what I was supposed to do.

When I graduated from high school, my father offered to buy me a tuxedo. I refused because my father always shunned gifts. I felt with my refusal, that somehow in a convoluted, perverse logic, I was being a good son. I wish now that I could have let him buy me a tuxedo, let him be a dad.

My father sold real estate but he wanted to be in show business. I was probably five years old when I saw him in a bit part at the Call Board theater on Melrose Place in Hollywood. He came on in the second act and served a drink. The theater existed until a few years ago and is now finally defunct and, I believe, a lamp shop.

My father’s attitude toward my show business accomplishments was critical. After my first appearance on Saturday Night Live in 1976, he wrote a bad review of me in the newsletter of the Newport Board of Realtors where he was president. Later, he related this news to me slightly shamefaced, and said that after it appeared, his best friend came into his office holding the paper, placed it on his desk, and shook his head sternly, indicating a wordless “no.”

In the early ’80s, a close friend of mine, whose own father was killed walking across a street and whose mother committed suicide on Mother’s Day, said that if I had anything to work out with my parents, I should do it now, because one day that opportunity would be over. When I heard this remark, I had no idea that I would ever want to work anything out with them, that, in fact, there was anything to work out at all. But it stewed in my brain for years, and soon I decided to try and get to know my parents. I took them to lunch every Sunday I could, and would goad them into talking.

It was our routine that after I drove them home from our lunches, my mother and father, now in their 80s, would walk me to the car. I would kiss my mother on the cheek and my father and I would wave or awkwardly say goodbye. But this time we hugged each other and he whispered, “I love you,” with a voice barely audible. This would be the first time these words were ever spoken between us. I returned the phrase with the same awkward, broken delivery.

As my father ailed, he grew more irritable. He made unreasonable demands, such as waking his 24-hour help and insisting that they take him for drives at three a.m., as it was the only way he could relax. He also became heartrendingly emotional. He could be in the middle of a story and begin to laugh, which would provoke sudden tears, making him unable to continue.

In his early 80s, my father’s health declined further and he became bedridden. There must be an instinct about when the end is near, as we all found ourselves gathered at my parents’ home in Orange County, California. I walked into the house they had lived in for 35 years and my weeping sister said, “He’s saying goodbye to everyone.”

A hospice nurse said to me, “This is when it all happens.” I didn’t know what she meant, but soon I did.

I walked into the bedroom where he lay, his mind alert but his body failing. He said, almost buoyantly, “I’m ready now.” I understood that his intensifying rage of the last few years had been against death and now his resistance was abating. I stood at the end of the bed and we looked into each other’s eyes for a long, unbroken time. At last he said, “You did everything I wanted to do.”

I said the truth: “I did it for you.”

Looking back, I’m sure that we both had different interpretations of what I meant.

I sat on the edge of the bed and another silence fell over us. Then he said, “I wish I could cry, I wish I could cry.”

At first, I took this as a comment on his condition but am forever thankful that I pushed on. “What do you want to cry about?” I finally said.

“For all the love I received and couldn’t return.”

He had kept this secret, his desire to love his family, from me and from my mother his whole life. It was as though an early misstep had kept us forever out of stride. Now, two days from his death, our pace was aligning and we were able to speak.

My father’s death has a thousand endings. I continue to absorb its messages and meanings. He stripped death of its spooky morbidity and made it tangible and passionate. He prepared me in some way for my own death. He showed me the responsibility of the living to the dying. But the most enduring thought was expressed by my sister, Melinda. She told me she had learned something from all this. I asked her what it was. She said, “Nobody should have to die alone.”