#how could you mess up our teachers mind like that 'IM TEN. AND YOU TOLD ME TO'

[way-too-cool-raybot]

Raz is like 10 in psychonauts (1 and 2, because they are only days apart) and I know he's a smart kid but a lot of people in psychonauts do NOT treat him like he's a kid. Yeah sure blame the 10-year-old for not making it to your classroom on time after he was hazed and then found a practically dead body. Also he's ten you didn't show him where your classroom was you just let him wander. Give this kid an apple juice or something he's had a hard week

[savoies]

Cliches - Carter Hart.

Carter Hart x Reader.

Summary: Carter is the popular guy while Y/N is just the girl who keeps to herself. She starts tutoring him and they rekindle a friendship that they used to have which leads to even more after learning to trust each other again.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warning: maybe a bad word or two and hints of a bad home life.

A/N: Before anyone comes at me, yes this is like a walk to remember but with my ideas and a different take on that. But it does have the aspect of two opposites attracting. I really hope you guys like it.

Carter Hart was the residential popular boy at Lakeview High. Everyone knew him and he tried to know everyone. Carter was big on meeting new people and starting conversations wherever he was. He wasn't popular for being rude, being the football captain, or dating the head cheerleader. Carter was actually popular for being nice. Yes he did have a spot on the football team but he didn't think he was better than anyone else and treated everyone the same.

Y/N was the residential shy girl. She kept to herself and her life motto was the less social interactions the better. Y/N didn't perceive to be rude she just didn't like to put her walls down for people that would just walk away. She felt as though keeping to herself was the best option. She did put her walls down for her best friend but he just walked away after they both went into highschool.

Carter and Y/N had their fair share of interactions throughout highschool. But during their entire childhood they were glued to the hip. Carter was the only person that had seen Y/N be herself yet when they went into highschool that all changed. Carter joined the football team saying that he would still have enough time for his best friend. But after the first week Y/N was by herself and Carter was mostly with his new friends that included football players and cheerleaders.

Carter tried talking to Y/N, ok maybe not having a full blown conversation but sending a simple hello her way. But every time he tried she would walk the other way. She didn't want to deal with him. If he had ignored her all of freshman year, she could ignore a simple hello. As she walked to her english class she took a seat towards the middle where she could blend in. There was about ten minutes before class started so she buried her head in a book to avoid conversation. What brought back her attention though was Carter walking in with his friends laughing loudly. Y/N looked up and they made eye contact for a second. She smiled at him shyly and put her book away as the teacher walked in. 

Carter was failing english badly. If he didn't show up to class everyday he probably would've had a better grade than now. He needed to raise it up to play football or his spot would be given to someone else who had better grades. If he let it go down one bit more, then his whole football journey was over. Now he didn't want that and his teacher had talked to him about getting a tutor. Now Carter knew that getting a tutor probably meant that he would get stuck with some dude that only cared about homework. That is why he groaned at the idea but if it was supposed to help him so he was supposed to say yes right.

As class ended Carter headed up to the teachers desk as you packed up your stuff. You noticed that they were talking so you decided to pack up a bit quicker to leave and give them privacy. But as soon as you were gonna walk out the door your teacher called you.

“Y/N could you come here for a second please.” you put a smile on your face and headed back inside. “Mr. Hart here is in desperate need of an english tutor and I would like you to help him.” Those were the last words both of you guys wanted your teacher to say. Both of you interrupted them with banter.

“Why me, there're so many people in the class.” you said.

“Yeah i don't think that is gonna work out.” Carter said. It was like he was reading your mind.

“Well that's the only solution and there will be no further discussion exchange numbers and start as soon as possible.” your teacher said and pushed you out of their classroom. Little did Carter know that you never had the guts to erase his number.

“Here plug in your phone and i'll text you when i'm free.” Carter said, handing you his phone. Glad to know that he didnt save your phone number. You were kind of hurt but it didn't really matter right. It's not like you were going to call him. 

“Look Y/N, i'm sorr--.” before he could end his sentence and go on giving an apology you stopped him because right now you didnt want Carter’s pity. “I'm just helping you pass, I'm not trying to reconcile.” you said as you headed to the last place you wanted to go, home.

Today was the day that you were going to have your first tutoring session with Carter. You weren't too thrilled to say the least. But anything to get you out of your house for a bit. It was after school and you headed to the library to wait for Carter. You sat down at the table and waited for Carter. You thought maybe he would arrive in twenty minutes but after forty minutes of waiting you were getting irritated. He didn't even have the audacity of sending you a text that he was gonna be late. After one hour of waiting you decided that he had wasted enough of your time and you decided to pack up. That's when Carter came rushing in.

“Oh gosh Y/N, i know i'm sorry for making you wait but Coach decided to have an emergency meeting, i'm so sorry. Im here now.” Carter said exasperated.

“You could've at least sent a text.” you suggested.

“Coach doesnt let us use our phones.” Carter said hopeful that maybe you would stay cause he really didn't want to mess this up on the first day. You decided that he seemed like he was being honest so you shrugged your backpack off and took out the textbooks. After the next two hours of him studying his butt off, you decided it was time to wrap it up.

“Same time tomorrow and don't be late.” you said walking out into the now dark sky.

The next day Carter asked you to meet him in a cafe. You weren't sure why but you decided that a nice warm drink didn't sound too bad. So you headed over there after school and set up everything. After everything was laid out you thought it was the perfect time to order a drink before Carter got there. You ordered your usual hot beverage and were about to pay when Carter came up from behind you and told the barista “Oh and one cappuccino, thanks” he said, handing her his card. “Thanks you didn't have to do that.” Y/N smiled shyly at Carter. Maybe tutoring him wasn't going to be too bad.

“No problem, now where did we leave off on yesterday?”Carter said, actually sounding like he was excited to learn. After both of you guys got your drinks, there was less studying involved and more talking. Carter started talking to you about football and you liked how his eyes lit up when he talked about the subject. About one hour of just talking you decided that it was time to get back to studying  before it got too late. Before leaving the cafe, Y/N pulled out her favorite book out of her backpack. “Here I thought you might enjoy this, it's one of my favorites.”

“Thanks, I'll let you know when I finish it. Carter said, grabbing the book from the girl and their hands slightly brushing. 

A few days later you were in bed ready to go to sleep when your phone started ringing. You thought it was probably a unknown number so you let it ring, but after four rings and no signs of hanging up you decided to pick up.

“Hello” you said, sleepiness evident in your voice.

“Did I wake you up, sorry, I just wanted to let you know that I finished the book.” Carter's giddy voice was heard on the other side of the phone. His voice though had no sleep evident in it whatsoever.

“Look Carter, I don't want to sound rude but why couldn't you just wait till tomorrow to tell me, it's 12am?’ you asked him questionaly. The truth one he couldn't sleep all night, thinking about how finally things with you guys could be fixed. And he just wanted to hear your voice. 

“It was a really good book and i had to tell you, i'll see you tomorrow then.” he said hanging up the phone knowing that it was a bad time to call you but glad that you picked up. He took it as a sign that maybe your friendship could be restored.

The next day you headed to school and stopped at your locker to drop some stuff off. When you were pulling stuff out of your backpack. Carter approached from behind you. “Heres your book back” Carter spoke up.

“Shit Carter, you scared me.” you said as your notebook fell to the ground. 

“Sorry, just wondering if we were gonna meet up later.” Carter cluelessly asked.

“Well yeah, that's basically the agreement.” Y/N stated, kind of annoyed because he knew that they were supposed to meet mostly everyday due to the teachers orders. 

She got to the cafe where she sat at the same table as last time. As she waited for Carter she took everything out . The bell above the door rang signaling the arrival of someone, and it was Carter. They exchanged their hellos and got to tutoring. After what seemed like forever of studying, Carter decided to bring up a question that seemed to be bothering him all day. “So do you have a problem tutoring me or what, cause let me just say i'm not the biggest fan of this either.”

“What do you think Carter, that I think this is a fun way to spend my time, tutoring you.” giving the word you a deeper meaning. Carter was confused on what she meant.

“You really don't remember, you pretended I didn't exist.” the girl said, feeling more vulnerable than ever. 

“ You are the one who's always mad at me, you stopped talking to me, freshman year.” Carter told her, saying it in a way saying it was her fault.

"Really, on the first day of school you didn't see me down the hallway and then turn the other way.”  Y/N said pleadingly. At this point it seemed that they were competing seeing who could say it in the most hurtful way possible. 

“I didn't know what to say.” Carter said looking down.

“ How about hey Y/N, how's it going?” she said spitting it out a bit more harshly than she meant to. She couldn't take this right now, so she packed up her bag and headed out the door. Carter didn't really process what was going on until the ding  above the door signaled that she really had left. 

When you got home you heard the sound of yelling, crying, and the shattering of glass. You decided that the best option right now was just to lock yourself in your room and with your thoughts. You went to sleep listening to music and the next day you got ready for school.

As you were at your locker Carter appeared again. He saw the way that you looked tired and drained and even though you weren't on the best terms decided to ask you how you felt. “Hey, you ok?” he asked concerned. 

“No offense but I really don't want to talk about my personal life with my ex best friend.” you looked at him and shrugged your shoulders. Carter understood so he wasn't mad about it. 

“No tutoring today right? I'll see you in a couple days then.” he said waving goodbye. Even though you didn't really appreciate tutoring Carter you didn't really want to go home so you were kind of bummed out that there wasn't tutoring today.

 Two days later there you were at the same table with the same stuff laid out in front of you. Again waiting for Carter. He walked in and took a seat. “Before we start I just wanted to make sure that you're ok.” he said, looking concerned.

A slight blush appeared on your cheeks because even though he asked you the same question two days ago he was still concerned. “Like I said before, I don't really want to talk to my ex best friend about this.”

“Well then don't think about me as your ex best friend, think about me as your therapist.” you laughed but when he didn't laugh back you knew that he was serious. “Oh you're being serious.

“Yeah I am, now tell me what's wrong.” he said, getting all serious but it didn't last long because both of you burst out laughing. You liked this, just being able to laugh with him again. Like everything was back to normal. But everything wasn’t back to normal and it probably wouldn't but in the end you were having a good time.

After that day you tutoring Carter had become less of a task and more of something that you enjoyed. It had become less stressful and you actually felt like you guys had a good chance of repairing your friendship. Maybe even having the possibility of bringing it back to how it was before. Now that's the way you felt, but you weren't sure how Carter felt. Maybe for him this was just tutoring.

Now Carter saw that maybe he was slowly breaking down your walls again. He was slowly seeing the person you were in middle school again. He liked that. But he thought that maybe you just thought that this was something you felt obligated to do and nothing else.

The next day at school Carter was talking to his friends against their lockers. You were walking towards your locker when you heard the topic of conversation. Now you weren't trying to be all up in their business and invade their privacy but it seemed like they were talking about you.

“Oh look it's your little girlfriend, you're not gonna say hi.” one of the cheerleaders said in a snarky voice. All his “friends”  around him laughed at the girl's comment. 

 Carter thought that maybe if he went along with it, they would stop. “She isn't my type anyways, you know that all she is to me is my tutor so I can pass English and still be on the football team.” 

After Carter said that you knew that you should've said no to tutoring him and just told the teacher that you were too busy. “Im so stupid, i should’ve let him fail so he could see what its like to lose something just how I lost my best friend” you told youself as you wiped a tear with your sweater sleeve.

Well now you could tell that it seemed Carter didn't feel the same about your friendship finally getting a bit better or becoming reconciled. But deep down Carter knew that everytime he saw you his face would light up and that he was slowly falling hard for you. Yet he couldn't let his friends know because he knew that if they did find out they would just tease you and he didn't want that because you didn't deserve it.

taglist: @hartsyhart (thanks for all the help kan), @patty-cake-nolan (thanks for helping me with the title), @mitch-slap (thanks for all the support always), @summerko8, @barrettshayton, @leafsxhockeywrxtes​, @segsation​, & @idkwhyimhere19​.

[sasserenitysykingcollector]

Moon Child :Namjin: Chapter One

A/N hello! im going to start posting my fanfictions here! a lot of them were written a year or so ago so they are short and maybe a bit confusing! but im planning to start working on them! please stick around!

Chapter one:

Chapter word count: 1596

It was a rather cloudy day in central Seoul, the rising sun covered by a thin layer of grey clouds that foreshadowed rain. But for the students of the most prestigious college in the country, life continued on as normal. The clock tower rang out eight times, echoing off the many buildings that comprised the campus of Seoul National University. Slowly, the walkways and roads came to life. Students walking to breakfast with friends, teachers making their way to class to prepare for the day, and café workers opening the doors for the breakfast rush.

One café, in particular, was already full of customers, most of whom were women wanting to see the attractive co-owner of the establishment. Kim Seokjin, A fine arts and literature student at the university, often dreaded all the attention he received from the ogling guests. But he smiled and greeted each one the same, “Good morning miss, what may I make for you?” sometimes the customers would slide him a napkin with the money that had their name and phone number, to which he smiled politely and threw away once they walked away.

His male classmates called him the “Woman Magnet” to which he smiled, even though he knew he was the last person who should attract women. When he was fifteen, he had the biggest crush on his classmate Yoongi, it was a defining moment in his life. He had never felt any kind of attraction to women, sure some were cute, but he never thought about them as a potential partner. He wanted to tell his parents but could never bring himself to do it before he left for college. So whenever his mother calls asking about his love life, he always responds with “I’m in a committed relationship” and he never elaborates.

Luckily, his Fine arts class is mostly men, so he doesn’t have to worry about turning down women then, but it’s a double-edged sword. Some of the men in his class are attractive, and Seokjin often catches himself staring, mentally scolding himself every time. Being openly gay in Korea is risky, while there are no laws against it. The idea of loving the same-sex had only started to spread a few years ago. And Seokjin being a respected student at his college had decided to keep his sexual preference to himself.

The library became his safe place, specifically the mythological section. Mostly because no one ever goes there. But he had grown attached to the books and their contents. He liked to get lost in the worlds the books built for the reader. Sometimes, he would be there for hours at a time. Once he had to be told by the librarian that he had to leave because it was time to close.

His favorite book to read was called “Guardian of the moon children” it depicted a being who had no set species. It came in many forms, to young children it often appeared as a white or grey dog who guided them to eternal rest. When as for adults it appeared as a youthful young man who was described as having a deep but soft voice and soft skin. Not only did the being guide human souls to eternal rest, but it also was seen during the birth of someone who would do important things in their life. While Seokjin knew this was just fiction, he wanted it to be true.

At the end of his morning shift, Seokjin would head back to his apartment to shower and change his clothes. After which he would prepare a clean uniform for work and put it in his bag, before sitting at his desk for an hour to study before he had class. He only had four hours’ worth of classes a day, except for Fridays when he had six. So he always finished right before lunch. He would rush back to the café and change into his uniform before eating a quick snack. Normally, he would have ten to fifteen minutes to relax before the lunch rush began. Much like in the morning, women would stare and attempt to hit on Seokjin. It was something he never looked forward to. Part of him thought that if people knew why he worked three shifts a day, they would feel much differently about him. Seokjin had a loan to pay off, a hefty one at that. He had taken the loan out when he moved to attend the university. He had to pay for a place to sleep and the fees that were a result of schooling. At the rate he was making money, it would still be more than two years before he would have the loan completely paid off.

Something Seokjin s parents had told him since he was young was the reason he worked so hard, “if you do something, take responsibility. No matter how big or small the consequences are, never lie about something you did” those words were engraved on his mind, always haunting him, a reminder that the debt will never go away unless paid off. But he accepted it. After the lunch rush. He would make his way home. Working on the pile of homework he was assigned from the day’s classes. If he was able to finish before six, he would go to the library and read before his dinner shift. This was the way he lived.

//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\//\\

“Morning Seokjin, did you have another late night?”

Seokjin bowed slightly out of habit to the café owner, Minseok. Quickly standing straight, Minseok had told Seokjin to treat him as a friend, meaning he should call him by his name and not treat him as he normally would someone older than him.

“Yah!” Minseok exclaimed in exasperation, “I told you not to bow!” Seokjin smiled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. Making his way behind the counter, Seokjin grabs his apron, tying in with ease. “Do you want me to open today?” he asked. “Go ahead” Minseok replied.

As usual, a line of people had already formed outside the door following Seokjin's arrival to the café. He smiled and waved politely before flipping the switch that then lit up a “yes! We are open!” sign.

As the line slowly shrunk and the smell of coffee and fresh pastries faded from the display that hosted an array of freshly baked goods, a deep voice greeted Seokjin

“Good morning sir” Seokjin squeaked out, surprised that he was able to keep his voice steady, albeit slightly higher pitched. “What can I get for you?”

“Ah, I’m new to this area but I saw the long line so I assumed it must be worth the wait, and I can assure you is was.” The man responded looking Seokjin over with his eyes, before meeting them directly.

Seokjin stared for longer than he probably should have, the man's eyes had stars in them, literal stars that floated and shone throughout his pupils, small specks that hypnotized him.

The clearing of a throat snapped him out of his trance, “s-sorry!” he apologize slightly louder than he needed to, causing a few heads to turn in his direction. “W-we are fairly well known for our crumble scones” he spoke nervously, gesturing to the half empty bake-case. “We have a f-few left”

“How perfect, I just so happen to love scones” the man replied running his fingers back through his hair. “And I’ll also have a (joon coffee) with that scone” Seokjin nodded and put the order into the register. Silently, Seokjin hoped the man would pay with his card so he could get his name.

“That will be 7100 Won please” When he looked up he spotted the exact amount in cash on the counter as the man tucked his wallet back into the inside pocket on his suit jacket. “Can I have a name for the order?” He asked. Even Though normally the café went off a number system he thought he would ask.

The man paused in thought “φεγγάρι” (Pronounced fen-gar-e) Seokjin jotted down the name, quickly realizing the name was the Greek word for Moon. He had taken Greek for his language the year before. Though, he never thought it would come in handy.

“You have a Greek name?” Jin asked as he sat the cup to his side and went to get the scone from the display case. “You know Greek?” the man asked. “Uh, y-yeah” Jin said shyly. His cheeks going red when he looked up only to realize that the eyes of the customer were glued onto his own.

“Oh!” Jin exclaimed as he stumbled and dropped the scone that slid on the floor.

Gasps filled the café as the man had caught Jin from falling, “w-wait how?? You were- now you're here?!” he spoke to himself as the man helped him stand up. “I'm going to have to cancel my order for now” he said as he walked towards the entrance, Jin stood in shock along with the other people in line.

Whispers continued throughout the day as Seokjin apologized and cleaned up the mess, he ended up dropping more drinks throughout the day as his mind was trying to deduce how the man made it to his side of the counter when the door to the back was locked, he couldn't remember if he saw the man jump the counter, but that would be impossible. Not a thing was out of place.

Seokjin had one thing in mind all day long, “where can I meet him again”

A/N: Hope you liked it! ill try and update regularly!

[tidal-wave56]

It started when he was younger. It came from his dad mostly. The times when they did talk he told him about when him and his mother met. How before he met her he was completely numb and immune to human feelings until he saw her and it felt like everything was so colorful. And what he did to make her his.

He was a kid and couldn't comprehend the things he did so his mother would fall in love with him. He grew up like that. He realized he was completely immune to others feelings.

But his father left out the part how his mother brought out the more damaged and psychotic part of him.

Her. Her. Her. Her. Her.

That's all that went through his head when he saw her. The most emotion he showed. He only ever really hung around with three others. But they never gave him a proper appeal. He gained nothing from them. He didn't seem to like them at all. He didn't. He just stood by them so nobody would pity or try and befriend him. 

He was eye candy to everyone yes but he never paid any attention to that. It never gave him emotions. For his mother he tried. He did. But when she selfishly ended her pitiful self he just fell deeper into that hole.

When he was younger he wanted to be like the others. He tried. But trying isn't enough you had to feel.

He never hung with someone unless they benefited him. Nobody was an exception. Well. For her yes. She was the only exception. Only her.

 

He doesn't want the redhead that is obviously dropping hints and charming. Those rich girls? He only used them for the money and for inside info. Never wanted the girl or her body. He found it disgusting when they were a mess and begging for him when he hasn't even done a thing. At least don't try to jerk him off in class. He doesn't want you or any sexual intentions you have or want to give him. He snapped a girl's wrist. Of course he visited the hospital.

But no no. Not to apologize. Just to shake her up a bit.

Next day it turned out she died due to internal bleeding.

Dying from a snapped wrist is unlikely. So something must have happened when he visited.

He played the part of the nice boy toy at her funeral. Her father taking pity on him gave him exactly what he wanted. He thought it was so stupid how naive that old man was.

But all his morals changed in sophomore year. He was close to dropping out. Oh but he finally had a few classes with a girl. The girl that made his world colorful like his father said. 

But like I said. He left out some parts.

It felt like it was only a timer for him.

He found himself always staring at her not caring about others saying he looked like a creep.

He didn't care at all. Only for her. She made him feel things he only heard of.

When she even looked his way he always felt like his guts would drop out of his stomach. She’s that breathtaking.

Fast forward a few weeks later of eavesdropping and stalking. He gathered so much and has everything about her memorized.

Just give him a reason to blame it on you. Talk to him. 

For once he wasn't staring at her only at the guy who was staring at her. And he felt a nudge on her shoulder looking up and his body was filled with fire.

She’s talking to him.

“You’re Xavier right? The teacher said we are partners. Im-” She was interrupted when Xavier stood up and smiled genuinely at her.

“Rachel, right?” He asks and she slowly nods before he leads her to the back of the room as others got with their partners. 

She sat down and instantly started to explain the assignment to the anonymous stalker.

She’s more ravishing up close…

“Are you listening to me?” She sighs and was suddenly straight at him.

“Yes, why are you asking?” His voice was soothing to hear and it had a hint of mischief in it.

“You were just daydreaming, and not responding to any questions.” She sighs wondering why she was partnered up with him.

“Oh, the first question is A. Juliet stabbed herself with Romeo's dagger. Not with the poison.” He responded rather quickly sensing her doubt in him and that made him panic.

She studied him before humming in response and they went over the questions together but unknown to her he was edging closer to her little by little.

Once the bell rang she got up and he growled under his breath having an urge to abuse a bell.

“Hey we only missed one question, why are you growling? We did fine.” She reminds and he looks at her after making eye contact with the boy that was staring at Rachel.

“I was just enjoying your company.” He gave a genuine and complementary explanation and she chuckled awkwardly not knowing how to respond to that.

“I li- enjoyed it too. We have to get to our next classes. Bye.” She gave a curt wave and he smiled waving back but she was already gone then he narrowed his eyes. He got up and grabbed his bag walking to the door but slammed into the guy.

“Sorry man, didn't mean to do that!” Xavier apologized and helped him pick up his things and the male smiled apologetically.

“Thanks, and don't worry about it! I wasn't watching where I was going anyways.” He breathed out with a flat chuckle and got up leaving the room after taking his books from Xavier.

Xavier dropped the sorry look and looked at the card as he walked the opposite direction of his next class.

“Oh, Williams? Shame. I know his older brothers.” Xavier murmured to himself.

A few hours later school was let out and everyone went home like they normally would. 

Williams walked down the dark hallway with a sigh, his hair messy and wore a knitted sweater. He was too busy goggling at Rachel to take notes. He was going to fail… He was the last person there and he always stayed late and was often trusted to lock up the school so he had an extra pair of keys.

He walked towards the front door only to slam into it when it didn't open. He shook the door knob and it was locked. He sighed and pushed his hands into his pockets to fish out his keys but they weren't there. 

Thinking he forgot them in the classroom he walked back and walked over to the door only to find writing on the glass.

Ten second head start. Run.

His eyes widened then narrowed thinking this was a prank and he tried wiping off the ink only to smell and feel its substance.

Blood.

His bag fell to the ground and he dropped everything looking disgusted and disturbed. He looked around for the culprit but saw a trail of blood. He gulped harshly and pulled out a small pocket knife. Smaller than his pinky. Sad really. But hilarious and amusing.

He started following and staggering towards the trail only to see it lead to the bathrooms. The athletes bathrooms.

He stammered out words of ‘Come out’ or something along those lines. He was stuttering like crazy, you couldn't understand him.

He then held his free hand over his mouth as a shield for his own vomit seeing the smashed in head of the janitor. Her fat pig bodied corpse lying in the middle of the athletes showers. Her skull looked like mush and her blood and brains were rinsing down the drain.

Suddenly the showers turned on and steam rose into the air fogging up the glass and windows.

He squeaked and bolted but the door was locked. He realized he dropped the keys, so. Fair game, right?

He started screaming from the top of his lungs and it sent chills down his spine as it echoed around him.

He saw a shadow but before he could turn he felt a thud in his head.

~

Xavier made his way up to the school seeing people gathered outside of the gates and it looked like a riot or something.

He slipped passed others and made it to Rachel.

“What's wrong?” He asked, raising a brow.

“People keep saying a student and staff member was murdered. But The police are saying its a murdered suicide.” She responds.

“Why?”

“The student slit his wrists with a knife and he was beaten by the staff member.” She adds and keeps trying to look over the crowd before sighing and starts walking away.

“Classes are cancelled today.” A few kids say as others started walking back home or whatever.

Xavier watched Rachel before he just- wOOP- all the way up to her and smiled.

“Hey, want to hang out? I don't want to go home and I don't want to be alone right now.” He asked his bag hanging from his shoulder.

She seemed skeptical of his request but she figured why not and agreed.

He suddenly had her bag and held it.

“I invited you so I might as well hold your things.” He spoke up quickly when she gave him a weird look. She debated whether she should retort or even excuse herself. But of course since they are already walking, might as well.

“So...why don't you want to go home?” She asked, not wanting to walk in an uncomfortable silence.

“Well my dad has his models back at home. So work.” He cut it down.

No that man was torturing those women saying it was for an aesthetic. And to bring up awareness. Make it look real.

That was bullshit of course.

“Oh, do you not like them?”

“What do you want to eat?” He interrupted her and apologized as she chuckled.

“Oh I don't mind- I don't have money-” She murmured.

“Did I ask if you had money or not?”

If you texted that it would sound aggressive and agitated. But he said it in a joking and a soft manner. You could tell he said it like he was paying no matter what.

“Well...thank you.” She smiled slightly.

“Hey Rachel! Hey Xavier!”

Xavier glared and looked up seeing Daniel and he skipped over waving to Rachel. And Xavier seemed annoyed by his presence. He was getting in the way of his hang out.

~

“Bye! I had fun!” Rachel smiled and left as Daniel and Xavier waved.

“Why are you still here…” Xavier growled and Daniel was taken aback from how cruel he grew towards him in under five seconds.

“I just wanted to hang out with you-”

“Well when I am with her I don't want you or anyone else around.” He growls his face inches from Daniels.

“You killed Williams didn't you?” Daniel frowned and suddenly Xavier walked away and Daniel followed wanting answers.

Xavier stood by a boulder and Daniel climbed till he stood beside him.

“What happened-?”

“She happened.” Suddenly he had a psychotic smile and looked at Daniel with crazed eyes.

“I haven't felt like this since….well since never! Haha! She happened! I'm so in love with her I will kill anyone just so I can only have her!” He shouts, flinging his arms out and Daniel stared his eyes wide and he was terrified by his sudden obsession.  

“Xavier that-”

“You know how many I've killed already? I never felt more alive then when I killed for her! And I’m telling you because you are my friend.” He smiled but it wasn't a warm or psychotic one. It was just there. It didn't seem fake either. He felt a hand on his chest and stared at Xavier whose face suddenly went dim.

“But I don't trust you. I told you. But I don't trust you at all.” 

“Xavier the things you feel right now? They aren't real, that isn't love- that's obsession-”

“What's the difference? She is mine. She will be all mine.”

“Xavier! This isn't love! You will just hurt her and yourself!” Daniel tried getting that through his head but Xavier was just grinning and having one hand on the side of his own head as if holding it.

“Who cares? As long as I have her I will feel everything! She is the person that makes me feel. She's mine….all mine….”

Daniel frowned.

“She won’t love you.”

Xavier stared at him before his hand on Daniel's chest pushed him and Daniel plummeted to the ground.

The cracks would make anybody cringe and his twisted body laid at the ground.

“I’ll make her learn to love me.”

[teruthecreator]

if you're comfortable, could you say what specifically you hated about the finale? i never got into amnesty but i liked balance so i would like to know how disappointed i should be ://

okay i’m gonna explain this in-detail exactly Once bc i’m trying rlly hard to just forget about the whole epilogue and keep it moving like that shit never happened, so for anyone else who is asking me why i don’t like the finale (and im not saying you’re wrong for asking, anon, it just seems that when you vocally do not like a thing there are hundreds of people who come out of the woodworks to ask you why and i think thats kinda Huh, Weird of everyone but like whatever) i’m gonna lay it all out here on the table and you can take this as you will. 

i’m not gonna be getting into fistfights with people abt this so if you disagree please don’t try and banter with me. i am running on

also, CRITICISM OF ART DOES NOT MEAN CRITICISM OF THE ARTIST. I AM NOT CRITICIZING THE MCELROYS AS HUMAN BEINGS, BUT RATHER THEIR ARTISTIC DECISIONS IN TAZ: AMNESTY. MORE PEOPLE NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS A SEPARATION BETWEEN ART AND ARTIST, AND ONCE YOU (AS AN ARTIST) POST A PIECE, IT BECOMES SUBJECT TO CRITICISM. I AM NOT BRINGING GRIFFIN, JUSTIN, TRAVIS, OR CLINT’S CHARACTERS INTO QUESTION; I AM SIMPLY GIVING A CRITICISM ON THE SHOW THEY’VE CREATED AS A WORK OF ART. 

oh, this goes without saying, but i will anyway: SPOILERS FOR AMNESTY (IN GENERAL, BUT ALSO FOR EPISODE 36) 

i’m gonna start off by saying, i don’t think the whole episode was a total disaster. there are two things mainly that have ruined the whole experience for me, but for the most part i thought the like first 2 hours of this episode were a lot of fun! the fight scene was a little bogged down in the rolls imo, but it didn’t deter me too much from the overarching boss battle. the intro was a sick concept, i enjoyed the callback bits spliced in w newly scripted bits from mentioned past encounters, that was all well and good. i loved beacon in the episode, and god do i wish he stayed for the whole thing. 

my problem mainly sits with the epilogue, which is why i think the whole episode turns sour in my mind. because the epilogue is supposed to be what satiates your desire to know more, right? not to reference balance too much (bc these are two completely different stories w different premises, and for people to so readily compare them is kinda wack. that being said, they are two stories made by the same people that use an epilogue to wrap up the loose ends, so im gonna make this one comparison), but the epilogue told us, the listener, all the things we wanted to know about after the day of story of song. we got to know what they did, a little bit of their interpersonal relationships, and we even got a big group scene with the killarey wedding! 

this epilogue, though, feels like it left so much still on the table. one of those things i will swing back to later because it is the largest part of my argument, but after all of this time we still don’t know why everyone at the lodge got exiled! no one talks about it! we don’t know how dani ended up there, or jake, or barclay, or moira, or anyone! they don’t reference the banishments at all, which i think is a huge shortcoming figuring that is the core premise as to why these characters exist in our pc’s world in the first place. 

i also feel like the concept of the worlds being divided for a long time is kind of a dumb way to go about framing what they do After The Fact. like, they could have had those scenes happen without the looming concept of them being divided, especially when their big reunion scene is like 2 minutes long and basically does nothing. what would have been a cooler premise is if billy connected the worlds, and the worlds worked together in rebuilding themselves. we still could’ve had the same bits happen (for the most part), but i just think that whole separation bit kinda alienated the pc’s (especially thacker). 

but everything up to aubrey’s epilogue bit is fine. i have some problems, but it’s fine. where i started to completely abandon the work itself though is duck’s bit, and i’m gonna get into it by saying this: I know Justin Mcelroy is not legally required to make all of his characters gay, but this whole scene was just a big reminder to me that this show is done by 4 straight white men

and yeah, my big problem with this scene is the fact that justin had to make Duck/Minerva a thing. because it adds nothing to the story while also being a very skeevy concept in-general, and it reduces minerva’s character down to the Hero’s Girlfriend trope and it’s so comphet and she doesn’t deserve it. 

my first grievance with this: It adds nothing to the story. 

had justin not even mentioned the relationship part of their interaction before the scene actually took place, this scene would be like every other scene involving duck and minerva prior to this. duck says honey once, and even that could’ve been played off as duck just being affectionate to his friends (which is a thing, i call several of my friends “my love” irl and it isn’t a big deal). minerva doesn’t even use pet names, she calls duck by his full name, which is exactly how she addressed him in every other scene! duck’s speech is a genuine heart-puller, but it was completely soured by the fact that justin had to premise this entire scene by saying duck and minerva are a thing. 

my second grievance: it’s a skeevy-as-all-hell concept. 

this whole premise is nasty seven ways from sunday, and it is my biggest problem with duck’s bit as a whole. for starters, and i think more people need to mention this, minerva meets duck on the night of his 18th birthday. which means duck has literally just stopped being legally considered a minor before minerva appears before him. and honestly, i would still consider duck a minor in this case because he has literally just turned 18!!! his brain has not developed past one of a 17-year-old on the exact date of his birthday, and i argue it will not until he is at least in his twenties. keep in mind, your brain does not stop developing until you are about 25. so while in the legal sense, duck is an adult, in both the mental and emotional sense at that exact moment, duck is still a minor. AND he’s still in high school, as referenced in his response to her call to duty: “i got class tomorrow”. and minerva is old enough to have become the minister of defense for her homeworld, go through an entire war, and have several other chosen ones (including leo tarkesian, who is at least 20 years older than duck) before meeting duck. so that makes her much, much older than duck when she meets him. and i don’t care if they had barely any interaction after that first moment (though they did, as justin legit talks about when he introduces minerva as a concept to the show), that still establishes their initial interaction at a massive age difference. which, regardless of anything, makes their eventual relationship so genuinely messed up. 

sure, you can argue that when you get older age doesn’t make that much of a difference, and i would agree. my mother is 53 and her husband is 63, that’s ten years. but my mother and step mother did not meet at 8 and 18, they met at 50 and 60. the initial interaction makes all the difference between “older people meeting and having a relationship” and “a very messed up situation”. 

also, in this same argument, taking the mentor-student relationship and turning it into a romantic relationship IS SO MESSED UP!!!! GENUINELY AND HONESTLY MESSED UP!!! i feel like i don’t need to explain this because there have been so many examples already as to why this is a relationship you Should Not turn romantic, but i will anyway because it frustrates me so much that justin completely glosses over this!!! the power dynamic of a mentor-student relationship, in whatever way it is portrayed, displays a power balance that is heavily leaning to one side. there is not an equal distribution of power amongst the two because one person is teaching the other. the one person is weak to the others wills and whims because of lack of experience. think of your high school teacher or college professor; if you started a relationship with them, people would raise so many questions because you are not at equals to the teacher/professor. even if they treat you different, and even if they no longer teach you, it all has to do with the initial interaction. and minerva was still duck’s mentor up until either episode 34 or 35, when she handed off the title of Herald of the Astral Mind to duck. that means for nearly all of their interactions, there was a mentor-student dynamic. to have that turn into a romantic relationship is so sketchy and weird and leaves a bad taste in my mouth. 

my third grievance: it reduces minerva’s character down to a girlfriend trope, and it’s comphet as hell 

my friend tin (@taako–waititi) phrased this so well in the big group chat im in w her, so imma just quote her on this and then go into the comphet stuff: 

“i was dming max about it and they also mentioned, quote, ‘her story was never about romance. it reduced her down to ‘competent woman becomes endgame girlfriend’ trope’ and they are so right it makes me fucking pissed. regardless of any ‘mutual respect’ and ‘emotional intimacy’ kind of thing going on that some people are arguing for, it’s something that didn’t need to happen because minerva’s character becomes that. my thing is mutual respect and emotional intimacy between two people can. exist. without it being. romantic. like. friendship is. also valid. i personally don’t think that mutual respect and emotional intimacy are two buttons that you press to make the machine churn out a romance” 

not only does it reduce minerva’s character to tropes, but it also is extremely comphet for a woman who is so heavily wlw-coded or lesbian-coded and it just angers me. you could argue that she could be bi, but if we look at canon for just its face-value, the only romantic interaction she ever has is with a man, which basically makes her straight. this isn’t like aubrey’s situation, where travis clearly states she is a bi woman who is just in a relationship with another woman in amnesty. griffin doesn’t state anything about minerva’s sexuality and then she’s paired off with a man right at the end. and you could argue that she isn’t wlw or lesbian-coded, but i am not the only one who is wlw and thinks this, so i feel like i have more of a ground to stand on in this opinion. and this just feels so, like, textbook compulsory heteronormativity it made me feel physically sick when i heard this bit in the podcast. 

so that’s my first big issue with the finale, fully explained. my second issue with the epilogue is that ned’s death continues to be disappointing and his character arc is never completed, which just tanks the whole show for me. 

i’ve talked about this several times since ep 28 about how ned’s death was stupid and did nothing for his character arc, but i’m gonna reiterate my main points for the people who find this post without knowing my whole blog:

1. ned’s main interpersonal conflicts are just brought to the surface and never fully delved into before his sudden death. ned doesn’t ever get to explain his history with boyd and why he had to steal shade tree to mama or barclay or really anyone besides vaguely to aubrey. 

2. every character is just immediately expected to feel sad about ned’s death, despite the tension that still remains right up until the very end. aubrey shouldn’t have even known that the shapeshifter framed ned because that’s all explained once she goes to sylvain, but i think travis just assumed she did because he heard the interaction between ned, mama, and barclay. so she should’ve had Way more conflicting feelings about the whole thing, but ned’s death is just angst-bait so that doesn’t happen.

3. ned’s death doesn’t make roll sense because clint rolled a mixed success and mixed successes, by definition, are supposed to be less severe moves than a failed roll (which gives the gm the ability to make a hard move). there isn’t really anything harder to do to a character than kill them, but even if you wanted to argue that if clint failed the roll the hard move would’ve been ned failing and letting dani get shot, it still doesn’t change the fact that clint rolled a mixed success when slamming into the pizza hut sign at full velocity and came out of that alive (severely injured, naturally, but still alive). 

so, yeah, there’s that. and then theres the fact that griffin doesn’t ever give us any other scenes involving ned directly. ned only becomes a reference from 28 on, which is so disappointing given ned’s importance to the other two pcs. and i understand that the mcelroys have a lot of trauma related to death, but griffin shouldn’t have killed ned off then if he did not want to talk about death in graphic detail. we all have trauma. we all want to avoid topics. but to kill ned off and then never talk about his death in great relation to the others is a genuine disservice to ned’s character. 

the day episode 28 aired was the same day i buried my grandmother. i would have loved if death wasn’t brought up, but i don’t control the podcast. the mcelroys do; they had the ability to avoid this topic in a more servicing way to the characters and they didn’t. that isn’t to say they are bad people for not doing it, but it makes the finale even more disappointing because it means we never get the full rounding out of ned’s character arc. he becomes this like brief reference that is, once again, angst-bait or emotional fuel and i feel like he didn’t deserve that. he deserved a genuine reference, a genuine moment. even a dream sequence i would have appreciated!!! 

griffin had sylvain directly point at ned in aubrey’s flashback in ep 35, and then did nothing about what that could have implicated in the finale. it sours the entire episode in a major way and disappointed me immensely. there should have been more done with that topic and there wasn’t and i will never forget how deeply it hurt me and turned me away from canon as a whole. not to be ned kin on main, but ned was the backbone of this show and the exact moment he left was the exact moment the whole thing went downhill. it turned less into a story about growth and adversary and amnesty and more into a waiting game for when this very loose end was going to get wrapped up. 

i wanted to enjoy this episode. i tried so hard, y’all. but just the thought of ned loomed over me the entire time and i was waiting for a more proper completion to his arc, and it never happened. and coupled with that very bad and skeevy duck/minerva bit i was just so frustrated and hurt last night. 

so, yeah, that’s my whole spiel. you are free to disagree with me, but keep that opinion to yourself because i’m not getting into it with anyone. i will just block you; it’s better for us both, anyway. 

[beblebumm]

lesbian mom

My sister told me I dress like a lesbian mom. With no offense meant towards lesbian mothers because as Chloe put it- if I was a lesbian mom, my style would be closer to cool. But because up to this point in life I have been straight and childless, I’m just an appropriator. Which I definitely don’t want to be by the way, but I'm an American and blind appropriation is the American way. Working on it. I’m in the kitchen in Cedar Falls finding all my last sporadic, traveled with items to shove in my XL backpack* by the time Chloe brings her new opinion up to her roommates, my family. “Cathy, don’t you think Maddie looks like a lesbian mom?” “a what? A lesbian? I didn’t hear you” ...and dad’s reaction: “oh.. did you get a surrogate then?” * (United and Frontier front like they will be strict about charging you based on the sizes of your luggage, but they won't be. Apparently my size of backpack does not count as a personal item (free) but instead a carry-on (not free). It's a glutinous excuse for a backpack. However, they don’t say shit to you when you show up on the day of your flight. In the words of my friend Grace: If it's on your back and not on wheels, you're fine. I have had to repack a backpack once, throwing on a sweatshirt and carrying socks in my hand to make it through. But you know what that was? Free.And Fyi- U.S. airlines alone made 5.1 billion bucks in extra baggage fees in 2018. Don't contribute to that mess.) * But anyways, to come to the defense of lesbian moms, I think I dress with the best intention. I don’t think I have bad taste, but I can have bad execution. It's not entirely my fault though, as I feel bigger boobs make a lot of outfits merge towards mother. Tops are always an issue because you have the possibility of looking tenty, and opposite that- the issue of looking too tucked in. It can make the attempted effortlessness come off as starchy. I also straddle this line of wannabe skater and NOT wannabe school teacher, meaning I would love to come across as someone who deserves to wear Vans and less like someone who is reading to your child over snack time. That one is harder to explain, but has a lot to do with stripes. I don't bother running all of this past her, but I told Chloe that if I was flat-chested she wouldn’t be saying this. She didn’t argue but offered to help pay for my reduction. My dad and I get in the car after I make an everything bagel with some onion flavored cream cheese. A Thomas brand bagel, of course. Because it’s the cushiest and you can find them everywhere. We love a processed carb. He drives me to the airport in his new-but-used Toyota Highlander, which doesn’t reek of cigs like his previous whip. He only likes this new car because it has a cassette player, but the low mileage is a plus. I just want to say that the Cedar Rapids airport is low entertainment. It’s a trade-off because you are through security in seconds, but you have to do things like chase after people to hand them their ID’s they left on the counter to help the employees out because we’re Iowa nice and when in the homeland you have to act right. And people wear really ugly printed leggings and foul footwear. Lots of camo and lots of Hawkeye logos, which I do not identify with despite it being my alma mater. I was caught in a very vulnerable spot with my thick and tall Doc Marten's, (not a good airport shoe but a good everyday shoe so what can you do) hunched over the ‘Get Your Shit Back Together Very Quickly Bench’ that comes after security, when I see this rushed looking, young nerd man in a long black trench coat. He LOUDLY and SO abruptly asks this similarly aged gal he was coming up behind whether her hair was red or blonde. She had long red hair with dyed blonde ends. She said “red?” and he says nothing but “HUMPH” without breaking speed at all. Why did he need to know that and also why could he not see that her hair was both colors? And if he cared so much to know, then why did he not respond? Did he think this was considered to be hitting on her?? Because practically yelling at her to inquire about her appearance is not cutting it. I wish for his sake I could at least call him a boomer but he didn't meet the age requirement. Whatever. She looked around for confirmation that what had just happened to her was so weird, which of course I gave to her by saying: “That was so weird.” The sole restaurant by the gates has Blue Moon so that’s redeeming. But it’s in a tin can which is not so good. I used to prefer a draft pour with an orange slice but I am partial to a cold bottle now, plain- no orange. It’s more consistent this way, as some places don’t clean their draft lines regularly and it shows. I met an icon on my flight today. I, of course, was assigned my usual middle seat as I am certain I paid the littlest amount of airfare out of everyone on the plane. Deals only. But as I step up to my row and make that apologetic eye contact with the dude who is about to have to move and let me assume my usual middle spot, the guy asks me if I want to switch spots with his son- WHO HAS AN AISLE SEAT. YEAH SIR, I DO. And this is how I was seated next to the only stranger I’ve had an extended conversation with on an airplane, ever. At least to the point where I was sure I wanted to be buddies with her. She was not stoked on the middle seat, but it’s the one she had in our row. The icon is named Erin and she said: “I’ve been ignoring people on planes for 20 years but you seem like an absolute riot.” I realized I also tend to spend a lot of time ignoring people on airplanes. I actually spend more time trying not to bother the people around me, aka holding urine in until I am nearly bursting because the awkward fumbling out of my usual middle seat is too much. I did, however, have slight banter with a guy sitting next to me on the way into Iowa from Denver on this same trip. All he wanted to say to me was that he had just been skiing in Vail or something. People love being able to say sentences like this, by the way. "Skiing in Vail". It's supposed to impress whoever they tell. Ok. But later on, he and I would exchange terrified eyes as we watched this awful moment unfold after an older fellow in the row across from us ignored all social rules and played his voicemails on full blast, speaker volume, for about 10 minutes. A young gentleman near us let him know that “We can all hear that!” which I would have never said but was also thinking. Obviously. The Voicemail Blarer says “Oh sorry” calmly but is very caught off guard. I thought- wow. That went well. But the Voicemail Blarer takes all of 30 seconds to stew before erupting. He belly yells that he is a “WAR VETERAN AND THAT IS WHY I CANNOT HEAR OUT OF THIS EAR WHICH IS WHY MY PHONE IS ON SPEAKER AND BY THE WAY IM ON THIS FLIGHT BECAUSE MY MOM JUST DIED AND I AM FLYING BACK TO IOWA FOR THE FUNERAL. PEOPLE LIKE YOU ARE AHHHHHHHHH KDFKSJDFLKJDFLJSDF”... I feel like the percentage of people flying to Iowa for funerals is probably a decent chunk. Either you're visiting your family or someone died. Just speculating. ANyways. The Mourning Vet Voicemail Blarer said some pretty harsh remarks towards the Complainer that I can’t remember because I was so nervous as a witness to this that my adrenaline was working overtime to suppress. I remember being proud of The Complainer as he kept very level and only said a couple words to defend himself followed by: “I’m sorry you’re going through that man but we don’t all need to hear your voicemails.” I see both sides of this interaction. On the younger Complainer dude’s side, it’s not socially courteous for the vet to be playing his voicemails out loud. Especially for ten minutes. I mean Larry David would have lost it. On the other hand, no one was insulting his status as a vet or poking fun at his late mother, but he has obviously been through more life and more challenges than I and plus he’s grieving. I don’t know. I didn’t mind the voicemails THAT much. Back to today- Erin is the second stranger I’ve met who inspired me this month. Technically this year, and technically this decade, too. Happy 2020. From what I saw, she’s a kick-ass, take no shit, lay it all on the table kind of individual. She had a natural openness about her and radiated warmness but is the type to probably gaurd herself just enough. The kind of person who you would hate to see sad. Born in cedar rapids, went to Iowa for Journalism, got her masters at Syracuse. Has lived all over- New York, London, LA (I think she said). Will not donate to her old sorority, Chi O, because she can’t affiliate with that anymore because it’s lame. But she’s loyal enough to one of her sorority besties to fly to Denver and sit with her while she undergoes a chemo treatment. She asks me about work and I say I have enough side hustles to equate to having a real job. She tells me I need a podcast and says I must have been told this before. I haven’t. But If I had one, I would have her guest star immedieately. She oozes content. Apparently, there’s such a thing as coaching people on how to talk on camera because this is her job. It can be split up into different categories based on the size of the screen. Phone, computer, TV, etc. She kept saying things about “inches”. I thought this was wildly specific, exactly the sort of job you wouldn’t think about until you thought about it. Niche. Hopefully future me is doing something niche right now. But only if I'm enjoying it. She also mentioned some clients she has that I should speak to so I can learn how to travel the world for free. I could have clung to her and never let go after she said this, as that would make my life and her encouragement inspired me. Before this though, we agree I need a credit card that rewards with airline miles instead of cashback. It’s third up on my “to-do now” list- which is different than my “to-do” list becasue that one is for things like making dentist appointments. For the things that should not be put off but can and will be. Until they can't. She asks what my sign is, which is Sagittarius. She said of course. She’s a Virgo. I have no clue what this means. People ask me this sort of thing a lot now though so I need to read up. This guy I met recently who works at Wax Trax Records told me not only extensively about my sign but about my rising moon and one other part of it that I can’t remember. Or is it your rising sign and moon sign as separates? Idk. He told me that every girl he knows has an ex-boyfriend who is a Pisces. True. Erin also told me she’s on some board in Iowa City that is currently discussing the ped mall. I had a lot to say about THAT, as I feel the ped mall has turned into wasted space other than maybe one and a half shops. She agrees. It’s not being utilized like it should be, we think. Too many frat bars. Apparently, her family owns the Bluebird cafes or used to, and I said "ooooooooh!" but that I could never get a seat in the Iowa City location because every hungover kid within a ten mile radius is trying to eat there every Saturday and Sunday morning. I also thought of the time they burned my friend Madison Wood’s toast and she sent it back. I didn’t tell her this though. I like Bluebird. And I hate when people at my table complain about the food. She tells me I'm too good to write for random freelances, which I have dipped my toes into doing. Pays like shit. I agree and listen to her tell me about someone she met when she was just one year sober (she is now ten years along) who pushed her to take charge of her own point of view. It sounded to me like she was inspired to trust and invest in herself. I liked that. As if I needed another excuse to stay out of corporate America. Right before she fell into meditation and soon to be sleep, Erin comments on my middle part and my “nice natural eyebrows” which is funny because I helped the brows out right before going through security. (By helped out, I mean makeup-ed. In the airport bathroom, too far away from the mirror, two different pencils- one chubby for careless shading and one skinnier to help the endpoints of my brow that is otherwise dead.) On the topic of my appearance, I tell her that my sister had just told me that I dress like a lesbian mother. She said she loves my sister.

[sosa-sketch]

Fright or Flight: Chapter 2

Parings: Prinxiety // Logicality // Platonic LAMP

Story Summary: Virgil and Patton investigate the New Prince Castle, when a brutal accident kills Patton. Patton wakes as a ghost and meets friendly ghoul Roman, who has been haunting the castle for 20 years. Virgil is determined to bring Patton back to life and brings Logan, the ghost expert, to help him out. Time is quickly running out, and the four must work together to undo death. If only it was as simple as Logan made it sound.

Unknown to them, a secret entity in the castle does not plan on letting them succeed.

Previous Chapter   Next Chapter 

When Patton first met Virgil, his last intention was to become friends with him. Virgil had built up a notorious reputation over the first few months of school, and his grades did nothing to disprove his status. Patton wasn’t the type to judge a person’s character based on rumors nor looks. No one was a higher believer in the benefit of doubt than Patton! However, Virgil’s first impression did not help his case.

Virgil transferred into Patton’s English class the second semester due to a schedule change. When the teacher stated a new team project was to be completed, Patton did not shy away from offering to be Virgil’s partner. He understood how difficult it could be being the new kid in a class full of friends and cliques.

The project was hefty, an collection of novel analyzing, essays, vocabulary, and journal entries. Patton was not looking forward to the Shakespearean project-Shakespeare’s language was alien to him. It occurred to Patton that pairing up with the soon-to-be-dropout may not have been his best idea. Nonetheless, Patton refused to be jaded.

The first day of the project, Virgil refused to touch the work.

“There’s no way I’m touching this project.” Virgil sneered. “Especially about Shakespeare.”

“Huh?” Patton had not fully processed Virgil’s words. “Is it because you don’t understand it?”

“Sure.”

“Neither can I! I guess Shakespeare really has our brains shaken up! Maybe we can ask the teacher to go over it for us?”

The teen huffed and shook his head. Virgil laid his head on the wooden desk and his eyes slipped closed. He napped for the rest of the period.

His behavior continued for weeks. Patton had tried everything in his power to get Virgil to help him out. Patton’s seemingly endless supply of compliments and encouraging gestures served no help.

Patton’s mind had conjured countless excuses for Virgil since Virgil himself refused to give one. At the beginning the excuses had seemed feasible. Lack of sleep? Family issues? However, by week three, Patton was already scraping the bottom of the barrel, trying to justify Virgil’s dismissive attitude with clones and possible mind control. Virgil was no closer to lifting up a pencil, there were ten days left of the project, and Patton still understood little to nothing about Shakespeare. Patton was flying solo and time was ticking.

The final week before the project was due, Patton caught the flu.

Patton would chalk up the flu to the top three sucky sicknesses of his lifetime. His fever was raging, his skin drowning in sweat while the insides of him iced over. Patton couldn’t tell when being awake ended and when sleep began. The only alarm in Patton’s body was the churning in his gut that rushed him to the toilet.

Understandably, the project was the last thing on his mind.

Patton would not remember his Shakespeare mission until the Sunday before it was due, when he was shaking off the final remnants of the flu. The realization hit him like a train, but by the time he went flying off his bed and hurriedly logging on to his computer to check the time, Patton knew it was hopeless. There was no way he could get the project done in a few hours and counting. Not when all his energy was going into fighting of sneezes and headaches.

Patton was dejectedly scrolling through his email filled with newsletters from adoption sites and animal protection agencies when a subject line caught his eye: “English Project.” Linked to the email were word documents and an audio file. Perplexedly, Patton opened the email.

To: patpetspups@gmail.com

From: killjoy_2001@icloud.com

Subject: English Project

Patton,

so apparently you’ve been sick. class is way more quiet without you their, which is wierd.

i think i did everything you hadn’t done. it’s gonna be really mispelled and confusing and shit. sorry. i’m not the best with righting. feel free to fix anything.

get well soon.

-V

p.s. sorry for acting like a jerk. i owe you a explanation monday.

Patton hugged his computer screen and laugh with relief. He had no idea why Virgil was so nervous. His ideas were brilliant. A week later, Patton would see an A in his gradebook for the Shakespeare project.

There was a reason why Patton never lost faith in people.

True to his word, the next week Virgil explained his mistreatment to Patton. Virgil struggled with dyslexia. While he was getting tutoring in overcoming his learning disability, Virgil’s writing made him incredibly insecure. His old teacher always let him work individually, but the new teacher wasn’t having it. Before class, the teacher pulled him aside and told Virgil he was no different from any other student and would have to work with a partner. Virgil, determined to spite the teacher and anxious to seem like an “idiot” in front of Patton, would pretend to sleep the whole period.

“All your writing took was a quick grammar fix. The ideas were so good! I’m not just saying that to say that, they actually were! I could never think of something like that.” Patton reassured enthusiastically.

Virgil flushed a bright red. “I didn’t do much. Shakespeare is a lot easier to understand with audio.”

Patton listened to the audiobook of Macbeth that night. Virgil clearly wasn’t giving himself enough credit.

Virgil and Patton quickly grew close once the project was done. Virgil was still quiet, snappy, moody, and detrimentally insecure, but he began to open up more as the months went on. By senior year, Patton and Virgil was joined at the hip. Two peas in a pod.

Virgil had grown a lot since freshman year.

Being joined at the hip with Virgil meant that Patton got to understand Virgil by the simplest change in body language or expression. It also meant that Patton became aquatinted with anyone close to Virgil.

Patton already had a bad feeling while Virgil’s tone had shifted on the phone the night they were chatting about yearbook quotes. Remy sending Patton a text only confirmed the ball of dread in his stomach.

Rem: pat can we talk ?

Patton: You don’t even have to ask! Everything ok?

Rem: it’s about v

Rem: have you guys talked recently ? out of school

Patton: We talked last weekend. Over the phone. Why? Is Virgil fine??

Rem: idk. he came over to my house a couple nights ago at like 5 am. talked about some ghost shit.

Patton: He woke you up to talk about ghosts??(language!)

Rem: looking for affirmation that he wasn’t some obsessed ghost freak. i told him nah

Rem: but tbh he kinda is obsessed

Patton: He is passionate about his ghosts! But that’s not a bad thing.

Rem: v strongly disagrees. the whole thing about the yearbook and ghost quotes really messed with his head

Patton: I didn’t mean anything bad by it! It was just an idea! I promise! I’ll apologize to him!!!

Rem: wait no thats not what im saying. no one blames u

Rem: is he doing any ghost stuff anytime soon

Patton: Yep. He’s going to visit a castle!

Patton: Is that bad?

Rem: don’t you remember last time v became paranoid abt something? he pulled some real stupid stuff just to prove ppl wrong

Patton: Yeah. I know.

Patton: Gosh now I’m worried :(

Rem: i just dont want him doing anything he’ll regret on the trip. can u just…idk watch out for him pls ? ik v can take care of himself. but sometimes he gets into this headspace that’s self-destructive

Rem: tbh i dont like his ghost stuff as it is. i dont need him doing something dumb either

Patton: I understand Rem. That’s really sweet of you <3 <3

Patton: I’ll look out for him! I promise!!!! :-) :-)

Rem: ty. dont tell v abt this convo tho

Despite feeling uneasy about it, Patton understood Remy’s request to keep silent. Telling Virgil about their conversation would only push Virgil away and make him defensive. It’d be impossible to look out for him.

Virgil had already given Patton a way in. Patton had to talk to Logan for Virgil and get any supplies he might need. Patton loved visiting Logan in and of itself. Maybe Logan could help him out.

Logan’s business was located near small shops clustered along the beach. It was a hotspot for tourists, where knickknacks and souvenirs were sold and expensive attractions were advertised. Patton walked along here with Virgil sometimes, stopping at the arcade or mirror maze. Patton had met some of the most interesting people in the small touristy town.

Among the attractions was a dark blue shingled building with a pointy-roofed top. Painted letters on a wooden board spelt out “Afterlife Exposed.” Patton stepped through the door and a bell gently ringed, signaling his arrival.

At the sound of the bell, a tall, dark-haired man turned around. His navy suit blended in with the darkness of the shop. The man’s lean body was captivated beautifully in the suit. Patton quickly averted his eyes, blushing furiously.

“I have been expecting you-oh. Greetings, Patton. What a surprise.”

“Hi Logan!” Patton waved enthusiastically. “Who were you expecting?”

“No one. It’s a new rule Father has implemented. I must say it to every customer to ‘set the mood,’ as he calls it.” Logan dragged his hand over his face exasperatedly. “I find it quite ridiculous. But business shall be business.”

Logan’s father technically owned Afterlife Exposed. But he was always hidden in the back, gathering supplies or experimenting. Logan was currently studying entrepreneurship in college in order to take over the family business someday.

“How may I help you today, Patton?” Logan inquired, stepping around the counter to stand in front of him. He was even taller up close.

Patton filled Logan in about the New Prince Castle family murder and Virgil’s plan to investigate the castle for one of his ghost routines. Logan nodded politely the whole way through.

“I see. What an intriguing case. What exactly does he need from me?”

Patton shrugged cluelessly. “Anything you think might help, I guess.”

“What’s his budget?”

“A coffee and cake pop from Starbucks, if he uses his gift card.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “And he sent you to purchase something from here? Why, he couldn’t even afford a keychain.”

“Come on, Logan! He’s one of your most loyal customers and between us, he’s going through a rough patch. Can’t you help him out? Please?”

Logan massaged his temples and sighed. “Patton, it’s just not something the business can afford to do right now. My Father and I have been dealing with a sort of rough patch as well. You and Virgil have my sincerest apologies-truly, you do.”

Patton nodded dejectedly, “I understand.” Spotting Logan’s hesitant expression and tense form, he rested a hand on Logan’s shoulder and grinned. “Really, I do. I don’t blame you.”

Logan gave a small, tight-lipped smile in return. Gently shaking Patton’s hand off his shoulder, he clasped his hands together tightly. “Well, is there anything else I can do for you?”

“I’m not too sure.” Patton pursed his lips in thought. “Well, actually. I was wondering if you could tell me the dos and don’ts of ghost hunting. The yays and nays. The cats and dogs-actually no scratch that, both of those would be a yay.”

“With all due respect, Patton, I think Virgil has got that covered.” Logan reassured. “He must have asked me a dozen times prior to his first investigation.”

“Oh yeah, I know. It’s for me.” Patton corrected.

Logan raised an eyebrow in perplexion. Patton had never shown an interest in ghost hunting when Virgil wasn’t to be found.

Patton thought quickly. “I just want to understand more. For when I talk to Virgil. Sometimes I really don’t get half the explanations coming from the kiddo’s mouth.” It wasn’t a lie. “Just…how do you deal with ghosts?

“I see.” Logan clicked his tongue. “I’m sure Virgil could explain it to you more in depth. But, if you’re ever in doubt, chalk it up to one thing: respect. Is what you’re doing respecting the afterlife and their home? Are you portraying common courtesy? Treat them with the same respect as the living, if not more. There are exceptions, as with anything, but for the most part, that should keep you out of trouble with spirits.”

“Respect.” Patton repeated.

“You have strong morals, Patton. If you’re concerned about involvement with the afterlife due to your closeness with Virgil, I would not worry. Lack of respect is the last of your weaknesses.”

Logan pulled out his phone from the back of his pocket. “I apologize, I must return to my work. However, if you or Virgil have any more questions, feel free to give me a call.”

Patton gushed and thanked Logan, jotting down his number. Logan flushed a gentle red and held out his hand for a handshake.

“Pleasure doing business with you, Patton.”

Patton swatted Logan’s hand away and brought him in for a hug. “Thank you, Logan.”

Logan awkwardly pat Patton on the back before ungracefully untangling himself from the embrace. “I was only doing my job. Now, I understand it’s none of my business, but I recommend getting some rest. You look exhausted.”

“High school has permanently carved bags under my eyes.” Patton shook his head defeatedly.

Logan gave an amused smirk. “You sounded like Virgil.”

Patton beamed. “Like father, like son!”

Just as Patton was about to turn around to leave the store, something in the corner of the room glistened, catching his eye. “Hey Logan? Just one more thing?”

Logan hummed at him, encouraging Patton to continue.

He pointed to the object at the corner of the room. “How much can I get that for?”

 “Walkie-talkies. I sent you to Logan Berry, one of the smartest, most knowledgeable people about the afterlife in this town, and you come back with a Ghost Buster walkie-talkie.” Virgil grunted, dangling the toy by its antennae.

“You can have the Casper the Ghost one instead.”

“What? No! Ghost Busters is better, anyway.” Virgil groaned. “That’s not the point. How about advice? Did Logan say anything?”

“Just to respect the ghosts. Have common courtesy. Which you better be doing anyway, even without Logan telling you to do so.”

Virgil threw his hands up in exasperation and fell down into his sofa as the cushions engulfed the skinny man. “Obviously I respect them! The last thing I need is coming home possessed and cursed! He knows I know that. That’s really all he said?”

“Besides giving us his number.” Patton confirmed. “Which I already gave you.”

Virgil grumbled. “Whatever. One day I’ll get enough money to- wait. The walkie-talkies. There’s no way you could have bought them with my money, I would not have had enough. Please don’t tell me…”

Virgil got a glance of Patton’s sheepish look and groaned. “Patton, we have a rule! No buying each other anything!” He buried his head in his hands. “I can’t pay you back. You know that.”

“Hey…” Patton took a seat next to Virgil and laid a comforting hand on his knee. “It’s okay. They weren’t expensive. You don’t have to pay me back.”

Virgil looked at Patton in between his fingers. His voice was muffled against his palms. “You know how I feel about that, Pat.”

“Virgil, come on.” Patton pleaded.

Virgil shook his head. “Thank you. But, you need to return them.”

Guilty silence settled among the two, but neither made a move to leave. Both were lost in their own worlds when an idea struck Patton.

He nudged Virgil. “I know a way for you to pay me back without money.” At Virgil’s unimpressed look, he protested, “Seriously! It would mean a lot more to me than whatever these walkie-talkies cost.”

“Yea?” Virgil lifted his head from his hands. “What is it?”

Patton stared at Virgil’s stormy eyes as his heart pounded. In all honesty, this was the last thing Patton wanted to do. He was terrified. But, he thought back to the conversation he had with Remy, and the last time Virgil did something senseless unsupervised due to paranoia. “I want to go ghost hunting with you. At the New Prince Castle.”

Virgil’s jaw dropped. His eyes darted around Patton’s face before he shook his head and gave a weak chuckle. “Sure, Pat. Whatever you say.”

“No, I’m serious!” Patton insisted. “I’ll respect the ghosts and do whatever you tell me to do!”

Virgil was dismissing Patton before he could finish his sentence. “No, no, no. You hate ghost stories, Pat! Especially ones that are spooky and gruesome. You’d hate ghost-hutning. It’s dark and there’s lots of weird noises and tons of spiders. No way. I’m not adding more guilt to my conscience.”

Virgil made a move to get up from the sofa, but Patton refused to let the conversation drop. He grabbed Virgil’s hand and pulled him back to the seat. Virgil landed with a clumsy thump.  

“Kiddo, I know I hate all those things. I’m sure I’ll be scared. But, you’ll be there too! I love you more than I hate all those things combined.”

“Patton, we can do something else together. Go to the movies. Or bowling. Normal teen stuff.” Virgil reasoned.

Patton retorted, “But ghost hunting is important to you.”

“It’s not that important. It’s a simple hobby. I don’t care that much about it.” Virgil cut off.

“I know, I know!” Patton quickly backtracked. “What I meant was that ghost-hunting has been a cool way for us to bond. It intrigues you-a perfectly normal amount-and I like seeing you happy! Just like you go walking with me along the shops by the beach even though it’s super crowded and you hate it.”

“Patton, what’s your point?” Virgil grilled.

“My point is I want to try this thing that you enjoy with you. Just like you try things for me. It’s senior year, Virgil. No one hates thinking about it more than me, but we don’t know what things are going to be like after high school. I want to find a husband, start a family. Maybe study veterinary science. You could have a publisher for your writing, become a famous author, and move. I want to do this with you. I want to get over my fear.”

Patton stared at Virgil hopefully and held out his hand. “What do you say? One more big adventure for the dynamic duo?”

Virgil stared at Patton, looked down and roughly shook his head, froze, then stared at Patton once more. Virgil’s foot rapidly tapped against the floor, creating a dizzy, distracting melody. Finally, Virgil pulled his hair and glared at Patton. “You’ll be careful?”

Patton nodded eagerly.

“And you’ll stick with me no matter what? At all times? I want you in my sight.”

Virgil dramatically groaned, closing his eyes and throwing his head back. “I guess you can come.”

Patton shot up from his seat, whooping with joy and hopping around the sofa. “Thank you, Virgil! Thank you! We’re going to have such a great time!”

Virgil peeked one eye open and gave a soft grin. “Yeah, I guess we are. You’re sure you wanna do this?”

“Never been more sure of anything in my life besides my love for you and cats! I pinkie swear it.”

Patton and Virgil intertwined pinkies before Patton winked and let go, embracing Virgil.

“Let your moms know you’re going to be gone for the weekend.” Virgil smirked. “We have a haunted castle to explore.”

[adnightmist]

Crush stunts

K idk bout the title, just thought it would work but not so sure anymore....

ANYWAY so these things happened a while back but it makes me soft inside so i dont wanna forget them ergo im writing it down.

So my class was sitting in humanities and we were watching a video. My friend sits on a different table tho but i wanted to sit with her. However this guys was ocupying the only table next to her so i couldent be next to her. Then the guy (we'll call him bob) got up and moved to the back of the class to charge his laptop (the cable didnt reach that far to his seat so he had to move) and he asked the teacher who said yes. Now im rlly shy so iw aited a bit to mentaly prepare myself befire asking the teacher if i could move to sit next to my friend. My teachers really nice so she said yes. I got up, took my stuff, and moved. But a lil' background info on bob, hes an asshole. So he says that he changed his mind and sits back in his place and forces me to move. So as i walk back to my seat, my crush points at the seat next to him (ironically where bon was sitting lol) and says 'sit here'. I think my heart skipped a beat lol. Me being the dumb nugget i am askes 'why?' Withoit just TAKING THE OFFER (with a friggen smile like aghhhhh hes gonna find out you like him dipsshhhht) and then he shakes his head and says ges kidding and i know i felt disappointed but im not sure if he caught it on my face so i walk back to my seat and then TEN SECONDS LATER bob moves back to the back of the class. That spITEFUL SONOVA--

Thats actually one of the only propper covis hes started with me.....sad but im so antisicual and hard to talk to that i dont blame him.

K next stories just gonna be a summary. So i had to make to interview and make a poster on my crush (lets call him alvin i guess idk and also same guy from before) and he also had to do the same for me and that was nice but im so shy that i couldent hold eye contact and kept looking away and ughhhh i messed uppppp. No i didnt say something stupid or anything, its just that i missed the opportunity to have. Aproper chat with him by NIT MAKING EYE CONTACT U STUPID, STUPID-

anyway we chanhed our humanities seating plan and i ended up sitting next to Alvin lol

Also Bob once through my book acrossthe room and told alvin to 'catch' and i was having a heart attack cuz i hate my books getting bent but Alvin caught it without damaging it AT ALL and, not gonna lie, i think i like him juuuust a bit more becuase of those mad skillz XD

Also hes almost bummped into me like thrice. Once from being shoved by a friend and the second time by laughing to much. The third time was because he kept stealing my sharpener so i tried to get it back and knocked foreheads with him. I freak out when ever he gets close but luckily he catches himself and moves away. Well idk how much i like the moving away bit but eh

I keep making eye contact with him for like split seconds an then looking away its funny actually lol. When we had our grade camp, i kept making eye contact with him accidentally. >.<

And i think thats most of it. I dont even wanna date him ecen though i like him. I just wanna be friends with him since i think he's a cool person. Idk theres something about him i like, personality wise. Im not attracted to him look-wise (hes not bad looking but its not why i like him) so i just wanna talkkkkkkkkk. Hes popular and has dated a couple of girls so id serioisly have no chance and because im so shy i cant even talk to him. Actually we r both the first people to school in our class and we just sit in silence on our computors until someone else shows up and then he talks to them.

Well theres my sucky love life