#how dare you drink water so sexily

[sodoyouknowbts]

Yoongi x Reader - Guardian (Three)

Part of the ‘Souls’ Series.

Summary: Min Yoongi is a cynical guardian angel assigned to look after you.

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader (ft Hoseok)

Genre: Romance, fantasy, soul mates

Author: Pilot

Chapter Three

You get back to your apartment, unlocking the door and pushing it open. You stand there for a moment, your mind going back to your run in with him. Min Yoongi. Your face reddens at the thought of him saving you, your body pressed against his chest. You throw your keys down onto the dining table and slam the door shut. You kick off your shoes.

You scoff again and throw your bag down onto the couch, the heavy encyclopaedia drags the bag onto the floor. It lands on the floor with a thud.

You head to the kitchen sink, run your hands under the water and then place your cool hands up to your cheeks. Why were you getting flushed thinking about this random guy? A random good looking guy. A random psychotic good looking guy. A random psychotic guy who thinks he’s an angel. You remind yourself. You pat your cheeks again and turn the tap off.

You head to your room, pull out your notebook and take a seat on your bed, getting comfy. Propping your legs up, you pull the notebook open by its yellow ribbon. After pulling the cap of the pen off with your teeth, you begin to write about your day. It was the best way to de-stress for you, to jot down bullet points and random thoughts.

You look over at your calendar hanging from the wall. Your internship at the consulting firm started on Monday. It wasn’t the job you wanted to end up with, but it was one that you needed, to pay your rent and bills.

It was a temporary internship after all and you did plenty of temp jobs. Until you got your marks back, you wouldn’t be able to practice law and even then, not until you took the bar exam. You had decided to settle on journalism in the mean time, uncertain if you could bear the thought of further study. Besides, you enjoyed law reform and access to justice and you knew that law wasn’t the only avenue to pursue it. It was something your mother was always passionate about and in turn, you were too. You had a soft spot for the hard-working underdogs who had everything against them.

You cast your notebook aside and flop down onto the bed. Glad your exams were over, you could finally relax and just focus on work.

//

“No, it’s more like this.” Yoongi circles the treble cleft and draws a little arrow on the music sheet.

Won Young nods and tries again, his foot pressing down on the peddle of the piano as his touches the keys.

Yoongi closes his eyes and nods. The melody echoes throughout the music room.

Won Young makes another mistake and in frustration, slams his hands on the keys.

“What did I say about disrespecting your instruments?!” Yoongi says. “Here. Feel the music, let it flow.”

Won Young sneers. “Feel the music?”

Yoongi shoots him a look. “Shuffle over.”

Won young obliges, moving to the edge of the seat. Yoongi sits in the centre, flexes his hands and closes his eyes. He begins to play. Won Young watches quietly, eyes wide. Yoongi was a pro, his hands moving across the keys in fluid motions, his slender fingers extending to hit the furthest keys with ease. He presses the pedals down lightly, increasing and decreasing the sound. The melody flows, somewhat melancholic. He finishes the first verse, lifts his hands up and leans back on the piano stool, nodding proudly and jutting out his chin.

Won Young claps, teasing a little and laughs. He pauses. Yoongi watches his expression change and his face grow pensive.

“You know what I’ve noticed, Wonnie?” Yoongi says, sliding the piano lid down and covering the keys. “You’ve been trying really hard of late to devoid yourself of feeling things.” He turns to look at him. “Piano is hard, things are hard. It’s okay to feel angry and annoyed about it.”

Won Young blinks, his face stern.

“You think that if you block your emotions, things get easier. Trust me. They don’t. It’s okay to feel depressed and it’s okay to feel happy. Even if you think you have no right to feel happy.” Yoongi scratches the back of his head.

“You just need to learn how to embrace your emotions. Not try to switch them off or to control them, but just to embrace them. Music helps, too.”

//

After music practice, they head to the supermarket.

“What do you want? I’ve got this. Help yourself.” Yoongi says.

Won Young heads to the back of the convenience store and comes back with a cola. Yoongi grabs some cup ramyun noodles, pays and then goes to make them.

“I’ve saved us two seats at the front.” Won Young calls out.

Yoongi grunts back in return, grabbing some serviettes as he rushes to the front with the steaming hot cups in his hands. He places them down and a little soup splashes onto the table.

“Ah, sorry.” He wipes it up. They begin to eat.

Yoongi’s mind goes back to you, earlier that day. Is my job really done? Was that all I had to do? He couldn’t help but feel there was more to you.

“Won Young” Yoongi says suddenly, “When I met you, what made you believe I was your guardian?”

“What do you mean?”

Yoongi turns his body to face him. “When did you believe I was telling you the truth.”

“Uh… I think maybe after you showed me your powers? It was pretty unbelievable to be honest.”

Yoongi nods, slurping up noodles.

Yoongi finishes eating first and licks his lips, wiping up any excess chili soup from his mouth. He cracks open the bottle of water he bought. He’s staring mindlessly out of the convenience store window when he sees you again. Yoongi watches as a semi-drunk man stumbles down the street, heading in your direction.

You hike your bag up on your shoulder again. The damn straps kept slipping down. If you didn't have an interview this afternoon you would have brought your tote bag along. Now what did I have to buy? Orange juice, pads… You squint at the stumbling man in front of you. He was walking way too close to you.

Yoongi semi-gets up from his seat, bottle in hand. Won Young looks at him, noodles hanging from his mouth. Was this guy about to start trouble?

You dodge him but he makes every effort to bump into you. He fondles your body as he does. You immediately let out a yell and push him. He staggers backwards and you swiftly take off your shoe, pointing the heel at him.

“Pervert!” you yell out. “I will hit you. I know judo.” You hoped your words were serious enough. You didn’t really know judo. One time you had accidentally walked into a judo class instead of your Pilates class but were too intimidated to leave. You had about an hour’s worth of basic judo knowledge up your sleeve and a self-defence Youtube video that you had come across accidentally.

Thankfully, the man moves on and leaves you alone after you threaten him. You sigh, hopping over to one of the tables outside the convenience store and sit down to pull your shoe back on. Yoongi watches from the convenience store window, amused.

You lean on the table, one arm drooping off the side. Were you suddenly now just attracting weird people?

Yoongi looks down at Won Young who has just finished his noodles. He pats him on the shoulder.

“Let’s go.”

Yoongi pushes open the glass door and it squeaks. He walks down the stairs, out into the cold night, Won Young hot on his tail. He walks up behind you.

“Fancy meeting you here.” He says nonchalantly, unscrewing the cap of his water bottle.

You turn around and pull your shoe off again, holding it up. You sigh, realising who it is. It’s the self-proclaimed angel.

Yoongi brings the water bottle to his lips and takes a sip, caring little about you and your shoe.

I can’t believe he’s followed me here. You note Yoongi’s unphased expression. You bring your arm down and begrudgingly put your shoe back on. You decide to go back to what you knew best. Law.

“I will sue you, Min Yoongi!” You declare.

“Sue me?” He laughs out loud. “For what? Drinking water?”

“For harassment.”

His face sours. “Harassment? I haven’t harassed you. In fact, I saved your life the other day.”

“Right, my guardian huh?” You mutter under your breath. “That doesn’t make following me around okay!”

“I am not following you around because I want to!” Yoongi exclaims.

Won Young clears his throat behind Yoongi. You crane your neck and spot a young boy by Yoongi’s side. What was he doing hanging out with a high schooler?

“Is this her?” Won Young asks, looking between you and Yoongi with a funny smile on his face. Yoongi shoots Won Young a look and steps aside, gesturing at Won Young.

“Won Young, my new assignment, new assignment, Won Young.”

Won Young bows to you and you wave.

“It’s Y/N, not assignment.” You say, shooting Yoongi a look. You peer at the boy. He seemed normal enough, with scruffy hair, his uniform too big for him.

“That’s okay. I’m an assignment too.”

You frown. Assignment? What is he, some sort of spy with assignments?

“Anyway, I have to go. Thanks for the ramyun, Yoongi.” Won Young says. He bids farewell to you. “Nice meeting you, Y/N.” He turns to leave, a mischievous smile on his face.

Yoongi rolls his eyes and waves him off. You peer at Won Young as he disappears down the street. Was this guardian thing real? Surely not. Your friend literally joked about this the day before and all of a sudden people were insisting guardian angels existed?

Yoongi kicks the seat away from the table and sits down on it. You watch as he finishes his water and scrunches the bottle. He did have a way of drinking water sexily. You blink and shake your head to get rid of your thoughts.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asks.

“W- what do you mean?” You stammer, wondering if he could read your mind.

“Earlier, that drunkard bumped into you.”

“Oh, yes. I’m fine.” You let out a sigh, relieved. “I’m a strong independent woman who don’t need no man.” You joke, then quickly pull yourself together. “I’m used to this sort of stuff, looking out for myself.”

You had been living on your own for a while. You stayed with a few family friends in the when you first started at university, but for the most part you had been on your own. Your father would never come to the city, preferring to stay in his townhouse by the sea.

“Why are you asking, is this some guardian thing again?” You tease, deciding to change the subject, you almost let the rest of your history slip to this complete stranger.

“No. It was genuine concern -” Yoongi replies simply. You pause, he was actually being kind of nice...

“- concern for mankind.” He adds.

There it is. You think. You pull a face. “As much as I’d like to discuss your concern for mankind with you, please stop following me.”

“For the last time. I was not following you. Won Young’s school is around here. I come here all the time.” He slouches in his chair and flicks his wrist at the convenience store. “Besides. I saved you. I don’t believe I will have anything else to do with you from here on out.” Yoongi pulls himself up from the chair. “My duties with you are done.”

“Great. Thanks for all you have done.” You reply, also standing.

It’s then you realise how tall he is. He was wearing black skinny jeans, torn at the knees and a black hoodie. Yoongi clicks his tongue, shrugs and walks off.

You scorn at the rudeness. Not even a goodbye. You push the chairs back in, under the plastic table and step up into the convenience store.

Yoongi looks back to see you pushing open the door. He sees the top of your head bopping through the aisles. He turns back around and begins to head home.

He passes a few more drunken people. It’s a Saturday night. He sighs. He’d keep tabs on you tonight. Just in case.

Yoongi pulls his mobile from his pocket and rings Hoseok.

“Are you still at work?”

“Mmm no, I’m home. Why?”

“Ah, I wanted to see if you could print something from the database for me. Is the system still down at home?”

Yoongi can hear Hoseok’s muffled movements around the house.

“No, it’s up now actually.”

“Okay, thanks.”

“Mmm.” Hoseok hangs up.

Yoongi taps his mobile in his hand, looking out for you from under a nearby tree. He decides to make himself invisible, just to make it easier. It was one of the many perks he had, along with an assortment of powers, as a guardian. He walks a few steps behind you.

Yoongi watches as you haul your shopping back to the apartment, your headphones in. You bop your head along to some music. I wonder what she’s listening to Yoongi thinks. Curious, he tries to take a peek at your phone. You pop it back into your pocket. Unbeknownst to you, he walks you home safely.

Yoongi rolls over in bed. He’d been reading up on you all night. He stares at the ceiling. A report didn’t generate for him to be able to complete and submit. It seemed like his work wasn’t over.

//

You stare blankly at the poster in front of you. It was the third week of the five of your internship. You rub your eyes and let out a yawn. You had thought you’d be doing a lot more hands on consulting than what you had been doing the past fifteen days. All you had really done was administrative paperwork and filing. Sure, you got paid for this internship but you wanted more experience than what you were getting. You had put aside another job to do this one full time.

The printer churns the paper out and pulls it back in, printing the documents double sided. Suddenly it halts. You look down at the printer. It’s jammed itself, again.

Seven times. It had jammed seven times today. You give it a kick out of frustration and quickly straighten yourself up, hoping no one’s seen you. You sigh, bending over to open the paper tray. You pull a ream out, jiggle some things around and close the tray with a bang.

Your supervisor comes past you, sliding his body closely to yours.

“Just getting past.” He says.

You quickly stand up and flatten yourself up against the printer as much as possible to avoid him. It made you feel uncomfortable. This was just one of the many subtle ways he got in your personal space. It was harassment.

You grimace and smile politely, quickly moving away and heading back to your desk. You write another file note and save it to your desktop. It joins another five you had already saved. You had already lodged a number of complaints to Human Resources, but they didn’t seem concerned, which you found odd about a HR department.

You look at the shared drive. There were a number of files there that had been locked down. You examine the file name. You’re certain it’s the same file you saw one of the staff in accounts accessing. He had gotten quite evasive once you asked him innocently about what he was doing. You couldn’t help but be suspicious of it. There was something off about this consulting firm.

After three weeks you had also learnt that a number of other women had been harassed and their pay docked. Something didn’t add up. Determined, you had decided to bide your time to collect more evidence against them. It wasn’t right.

You look over to the desk next to you. Your fellow graduate hadn’t been in today. She went home in tears the night before, but wouldn’t talk about it. Your look at the time. Crap, it’s already 6pm.

You finish compiling the documents. Your mind drifted to Yoongi. You hadn’t seen your so-called guardian angel for a few weeks now, not after the second convenience store run in.

In that time you had also done your research. It appeared that guardians seemingly manifested in a variety of ways, according to multiple cultures and folk lore. You used to believe in this sort of stuff, before your mum passed away. Her passing took away any belief you may have had as a child. Nothing prevented her death.

You had stayed up all night last night, reading one particular entry. You didn’t remember researching something with so much passion in so long. You yawned again. The internet was a strange place.

You got up, straightened your blouse and picked the binded files up from the table. You took a breath and headed to your supervisor’s door. He’s on the phone and you hope you can sneak in and out and leave. Everyone else had already gone home. You knock on your supervisor’s door, eyes reading the plaque on the wall. What luck, that your supervisor was also the Managing Director.

He waves you in and holds up a finger to you to, gesturing you to wait. You scrunch your face and sigh. Not what you wanted. The last thing you wanted was to be alone with him. You edge toward the door.

He gets off the phone and waves you over. Reluctant to get any closer, you gesture at the files on the desk.

“Everything is there. Let me know tomorrow if you require anything else.” You turn to leave.

“Y/N.” he says, his voice gruff. “Let’s chat.”

You pause and turn around. “Sorry, sir. Really. I have an appointment I have to get to and I didn’t realise the time.” You say with a smile.

He sees through it. “Come on, I have yet to do your midway performance review. Take a seat.” He insists, pointing at the couch.

You sigh and reluctantly sit down in the cold and uncomfortable leather couch.

//

Yoongi sits up abruptly. His internal alarm is going off. He had been napping on the couch just before he felt it. He places a hand on his chest. This is a different feeling to what he had experienced before. Yoongi closes his eyes. He could see you, sitting in an office, as a somewhat plump middle aged man moves in closer to you. He can see the look on your face, the placid smile.

Yoongi pulls on his shoes, grabs a jacket and clicks his fingers. He appears just outside the office. The whole floor is dimly lit and half of the lights have already been turned off.

“So how are you finding the internship?” The manager asks you, sitting himself down on the desk in front of you, folding his hands into his lap.

“It’s good. I’m learning a lot.” You feign.

Yoongi’s eyes scan the floor. Not another soul was in sight. He read the plaque on the wall. Managing Director? Yoongi sneers. He stares at the man. He recognised him from a news article he had come across the other day. He had been acquitted of other sexual harassment charges. He remembered reading something about embezzlement too. Yoongi examines the body language in the room. It was clear what the manager was intending to do. But what could Yoongi do to help?

Yoongi pauses. His research indicated that you took a number of odd jobs to get by. Huh, the similarities. You were getting paid for the internship. If you attacked the managing director, you’d lose in a law suit. Yoongi looks up. Fire sprinkers. Flood the building, immobilise the company for a while, have everyone continued to be paid as it’s covered by insurance… Yoongi smirks to himself. 

Yoongi looks around and spots a nearby computer. The monitors are still on. I guess it’s about time I put my business degree to use. He thinks to himself bitterly. He had taken a security systems unit for fun in uni. Who knew it would come in handy? Yoongi rifles through a nearby set of drawers and finds a USB stick. He plugs it into the computer and searches for hidden and locked files, tapping away at the keyboard.

He starts the file transfer. Two minutes remaining. He sighs. One thing he didn’t always have control of as a guardian, was technology. Yoongi gets up and begins to flick through a cupboard, keeping his ears peeled.

“Good. We want you to get the most out of this placement.” He says, clasping his hands together. He jumps off the desk and moves over to you on the couch. You edge away but he’s pushed you up against the arm rest.

“Now, I hear you’ve been submitting a number of sexual harassment complaints to HR.” the manager says, leering at you.

“You really shouldn’t have done that.” he says, grazing your cheek with his finger. You turn your head and go to stand up. He pushes you down easily by the shoulder and you let out a gasp.

At the sound, Yoongi tilts his head toward you, a bunch of papers in his hand.

“I guess I just need to follow this up with disciplinary action.” The manager seethes.

Yoongi glances at the desktop computer. File transfer complete. He pulls the USB out from the computer and walks through to the office. He spots a lighter sitting on the desk by the director’s cigars. Yoongi takes away a layer of his invisibility so that only you can see him.

Your eyes widen as you see Yoongi appear out of thin air. You look back at the manager and back at Yoongi. The manager hasn’t noticed a thing. He’s rabbiting on about something but at that point you've stopped listening.

“Y-”

Yoongi brings a finger to his lips to hush you. He’s holding a bundle of papers in one hand and a lighter in the other. He stuffs the papers under his jacket and flicks the lighter, holding the flame up under the smoke detector.

A few seconds pass, the manager’s hand is on your thigh and you’re trying your best to keep calm. How did he get in here? Then it happens. The fire alarm sounds, the noise is shrill and the beeping is intermittent. The sprinklers go off.

“What the – fire?!” The manager stands up quickly, forgetting you and rushes out of the room in a panic. He scoots down the floor, covering his head with his hands. He presses the elevator buttons but of course, none are working. He pushes the fire escape door and flees.

You’re sitting on the couch, astonished, shocked and getting increasingly drenched.

“Are you okay?” Yoongi asks. He doesn’t appear to be getting wet.

“How? What did you do?” You begin to ask.

“Not now. Let’s go.” Yoongi pulls you up by the arm. “Where’s your desk?”

You point outside of the office to a desk at the corner and he spots a bag. Yoongi walks over to it and you follow him. He gestures at it. “Yours?” You nod. He brings it over to you, grabs your wet coat from the back of your computer chair and leads you out of the building.

You step outside, shivering. Your body is soaked through. It’s freezing outside. Yoongi looks at you.

“Come on. Let’s get you home.” Yoongi looks at you, concerned.

You quiver. “H-How, taxi?”

“Something better and faster.” He places a hand on your shoulder and you blink. You open your eyes and find yourself standing in the middle of your lounge room. Yoongi moves over to turn on the light.

You sink into your carpet, wrapping your arms around you. This was too weird. How did he manage to show up, how did he manage to transport me to my apartment?

Yoongi walks over to you and pulls you up. “Go have a hot shower. You’ll get sick otherwise.” He pulls the papers out from his jacket and places them on the table, along with the USB.

You slowly head to your bedroom, pull out some fleecy pyjamas and walk to the bathroom. He follows you, turns the taps on and checks the temperature of the shower. He exits and leaves you there, stunned.

You shut the door, strip and get inside the shower. The water runs over your body and you close your eyes. From all the research you had done, it could be enough to make anyone believe. And yet today, he just magically appeared and magically made the two of you disappear. He was telling the truth the whole time. He had powers. He wasn’t a weird stalker. He really was your guardian angel.

Meanwhile, Yoongi’s sitting on the couch in your lounge room, twiddling his thumbs. He leans back, casting his eyes around the apartment. He spots a photo frame of your and your mother on the wall when you were younger. He smiles to himself. He stands up and goes to look at it closely. Something about this image seemed familiar. Was it your mother, had he met her before?

He hears the door to the bathroom click and he straightens up, the photograph forgotten. You come out, engulfed by hot steam, wearing a towel turban and navy blue and white polkadot fleece pyjamas.

“So…” you say.

“So.”

You stare at him. He’s dry as ever.

“Not to be the one to say, I told you so but. I told you so.” Yoongi quips.

You stare at him. “Are guardian angels always this humourous?”

“I’m a funny guy what can I say?”

You sigh and go to the kitchen to get yourself a cup of tea. You’re quiet as the kettle boils and Yoongi sits himself down at the dining table. He flips through the papers he’s collected.

“Thanks.” You mumble from the kitchen. Yoongi looks up at you.

“Hm?”

“Thanks for before.” You begin to say, “Although, I could have handled it.” You couldn’t swallow your pride.

“I don’t think that was the case.” Yoongi sighs.

You refuse to say anything else. Deep down you were grateful for his help. If he didn’t get there when he did… you think back to exactly how he got there. So many questions begin to race through your mind.

“Here.” He says. “Do something with these.” He points at the papers on the table.

“What are they?”

“Files and information you may find useful.” He says and shrugs. He stops and looks at you, towel turban sliding off your head, wisps of wet hair on your cheeks. She’s pretty cute.

“I’ll be heading off now, if you’re okay?”

You blink and look at him. Yoongi tries to mask his concern. He clears his throat. You bite back on a line of questioning that’s formed in your mind. There really wasn’t any use, trying to get into it tonight. You resign yourself to the fact that he really was some sort of supernatural being that had a tendency to be indignant.

“Thank you. I mean it.” You manage to croak.

Yoongi’s expression softens. He nods. “Stay warm.” Then he disappears, leaving you alone in your apartment with a pile of papers and a USB.

To be continued.

[thirstybtsthoughts]

Do you remember the fan yelling "Min Yoongi how can you drink water so sexily?"

I felt that today.

How DARE he to be this SEXY?

THE AUDACITY OF HIM ISTG HE DOESN'T SPARE A THOUGHT FOR THE SUFFERING HE CAUSES US 😩🥴

[thecreedsgambit]

Sam Dalton, CEO

author's note: i’m not entirely sure what it is that draws me to sam, but i actually enjoy the nanny affair. despite my uppity claims that i would turn my nose up at the plot (which i, in fact, do) and that i would deny choices the satisfaction of spending endless amounts of diamonds on smutty, indecent scenes with a completely fictional man (which i, in fact, do not do), i cannot ignore my attraction toward sam dalton. it has little to do with his personality and intent. quite frankly, i blame it on the soundtrack. there’s a particular track that’s smooth - almost sexily playful - like a steamy but timid caress that throws a casual smirk at potential and possibility. i’ve grown fond of it, and, of course, it’s the very track that plays when sam freshly enters any scene. so, yes, i completely blame the soundtrack. it’s possible i’ve somehow drawn a loose connection between it and sam. whatever it is, i will continue to read tna and roll my eyes at choices seemingly unobstructed ability to rope me into whatever they present me with (much like sam dalton, i suppose).

"for you, i'll risk it all." - unknown

00. At a Glance.

affiliate: the nanny affair

pairing: m!sam x reader

word count: 1972 (fairly short, i know. but this was poking my imagination after today's chapter. i couldn't deny myself the freedom of writing it down.)

summary: you and sam continue to make eye contact during the regatta, despite your pr plan to lie low and ‘meet-cute,’ if that’s what an outsider might refer to it as.

You had long since forgotten the races. In fact, your eyes weren’t trained on the glistening yachts before you. Instead, your gaze latched onto the picturesque waterfront. The sun’s rays bore into the blue depths beyond where you sat, casting a faint reflection that rippled with every rise and fall of the tide. Slowly, methodically, as if your eyes might blink shut at any moment, you let your gaze lazily trace the waves as they lapped against the dock and collapsed against one another, like a playful fight between two warring siblings.

As if on cue, Mason and Mickey billowed past you with a giggling Jovi in their wake. Jordan scrambled after them, sending you an apologetic smile over his shoulder, before calling - rather, begging - for them to slow down. A short chuckle escaped your lips as you returned your sights to the race before you. Your head tilted, just slightly, as the sun cradled your cheek and warmed your skin with the softest touch.

It was nice. A brief moment to rest from the pressure to look and be impressive. For once, being impressed made a rush of tension leave your already heavy shoulders. The majestic waters and stunning views were enough to draw awe and calm the seemingly desperate need to feel warranted and respected.

Your dignity, poise, and grace sloped, only slightly, as you let your shoulders drop and your hands take refuge on your wrist as you fiddled with one of your bracelets.

For just a moment, you were you. And that was enough.

“No, please. Go on, Will.” Marisol’s voice nearly wrenched you from your stupor. You straightened and resumed your position as a subtle reflection of your new peers you’d almost forgotten sat on your right. Marisol gave you an amused smirk, as if hinting for you to join her harmless teasing. “Perhaps your ramblings about the history of yachting might help me place a few bets.”

Marisol took a small sip of her wine, hiding a whimsical smile behind the tip of her glass. Will only huffed and reluctantly turned his attention back to the race. You bit your lip in an attempt to conceal the grin threatening to lace your earnest expression. You feigned a swat on Marisol’s arm before speaking.

“Oh, Will. Marisol’s only joking. I would love to hear the rest.”

With a quick turn back toward the table, Will grinned triumphantly, clearly elated. “I knew it. At least someone appreciates my genius.”

“I’m sure,” Marisol mumbled, taking another quick sip of her drink to avoid bursting into a fit of laughter.

You dared to throw a sly smirk in her direction before giving in and facing Will directly. He’d already dove into several backstories regarding yachting, each going unfinished as he hurried into the next with enough excitement for the three of you combined. A genuine smile graced your lips as you, momentarily, reveled in his enthusiasm.

Unfortunately, much like your attention on the race, your attentiveness was short-lived. As was your politeness.

For a moment, your gaze slipped once more toward the luminescent waters. You had every intention of returning to the conversation at hand and concentrating on whatever quips Marisol was currently, and once again, uttering toward Will, but your eyes regarded the crowd, instead. Briefly, ever so quickly, you made eye contact with him - with Sam.

He had long since fixed his own sights on you. Normally, your heart would flutter and your stomach would lurch at the slightest glance. Reflexively, you’d wander toward him like a moth drawn to a fiery flame, waiting to be engulfed by his very presence. Even under these circumstances, you wanted to. You wanted to make your way toward him and let your fingers get lost in his hair; public images be damned.

But everything you worked toward thus far hung over your head and your shoulders - a load almost too burdensome to carry.

Your eyes widened with alarm, quickly flitting toward Will and Marisol. Not here.

Sam stood in a semicircle with three other men, who seemed to be lost in a conversation Sam took no interest in. His arms rested at his sides, and his fingers swirled a small glass of whiskey, as he continued his ruthless - almost challenging - stare. It didn’t take long for your demeanor to falter and a restless smile dared to break your masked facade. You tried desperately not to squirm under the intensity of his gaze, so you looked away, forcing yourself to come to terms with the ever-enchanting thrills of yacht history.

Except that topic was long gone, and Marisol was waving her hand at a dismayed Will. “You say that every year. Placing a higher bet on Estate Sail hardly makes things any more interesting.”

“What would you propose, then?”

You couldn’t help but to lose focus almost as quickly as you'd gained it; your entire form now rigid under Sam’s steely gaze. Sparing a quick glance in his direction, you noticed he’d done little to disguise his observation of you. Slowly, painfully so, he brought his whiskey glass to his lips and took a slow drink. His eyes never once left yours.

It was intoxicating. Entirely too heavy. Your chest nearly felt hollow as your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach and heat rushed to your cheeks.

Your own stare fell to his chest, sweeping over his broad frame as you consumed every aspect of his person. The purple button-down he wore was quickly becoming your favorite as your eyes traced his taunt muscles under the fabric. His exposed chest seemed to catch the sprawling daylight as the sun chased his neckline and washed over his tan skin with every regard to the glow of his complexion.

Daringly, your eyes fell lower until you cautiously eyed his brown belt. You wondered just how quickly your fingers could trail over each and every loop and how any such movement might elicit a delicious sound from Sam’s lips. You even ventured to imagine one of his hands working the belt off in one, swift motion -

Your eyes snapped back to his. He arched one eyebrow, subtly, as a knowing smirk crossed his seemingly neutral expression. You wavered, feeling absolutely powerless under his scrutiny. Biting your lip, you pointedly angled away from him and desperately made every attempt to heed Will’s words.

Oh just how timely that was.

“I don’t know about that. I’m sure Steffi will take an interest eventually. What about you, (y/n)?” Will’s easy smile made you relax despite how quickly your startled heart raced. You struggled to remember the last thing you heard as Will shrugged. “I know I can be a bit long-winded, but I hope you’re enjoying the races.”

“Yes, you fit right in with us now.” Marisol gave you a genuine smile of her own. “Despite what some people may think, aren’t you glad you decided to join us today?”

You maintained a steady smile as you pushed pesky thoughts of Lana out of your head. “I am. Where else will I hear the harrowing history of yachting or place a wager on anything other than Estate Sail?”

“Hey,” Will warned good-naturedly, laughing despite himself.

Marisol noticed Jovi running after a makeshift sail the twins had tied to a string and shook her head with a warm smile. She and Will turned back to discussing their children and Sterling Academy as you chanced another glimpse of the crowd. Sam still stood firmly in his spot. The men surrounding him were pointing at the yachts in the distance and making idle conversation as Sam’s attention remained on you and only you.

He offered his counterparts around him a brief nod and a clink of his glass, but it was passive. Half-hearted. His eyes bore into you with enough passion to ignite the already kindling fire within your being. You were desperate. Completely at his mercy.

And utterly annoyed by how quickly you’d succumbed to his will. You wanted to prove your ability to do the same - toying with the inevitable long enough to make him flush with desire and writhe under all that you could offer.

You could do it from here; same as him.

Suddenly, shamelessly, your previously obstructed air bent to your change in attitude as you shifted to address his gaze. You arched an eyebrow as you matched his seemingly indifferent composure. You could tell he found your sudden roused behavior amusing, but his jaw quickly feathered as your eyes now held a challenge of your own: Two can play at this game, and I usually win.

Your sudden burst in confidence swelled your chest with enough boldness to dart out your tongue, wetting your bottom lip before pulling it between your teeth.

Some part of you wanted to make the conscious effort to tune into Will and Marisol’s conversation, but their distant chattering proved what you already knew. They weren’t paying either of you any attention.

Sam’s stare grew more intense; his eyes squinting ever so slightly as he watched your every move. With a coy smirk, you moved to pick up your wine glass at a leisurely pace that you were sure would seem like a lifetime to him. Even as the tip of the glass connected with your lips, you were sure to exaggerate every motion. One quick sip left a few drops of wine chasing the curve of your mouth. Using your finger, you wiped away the remnants and brought them to your lips. Your tongue flicked against your fingertip, closing your lips around it entirely, lapping up what was left of the wine.

All the while maintaining eye contact.

Finally, with a barely concealed chuckle, Sam dropped his gaze and shook his head. Every rapid rise of his chest and tense of his shoulders proved he was thoroughly distracted. Satisfied, you turned back to Will and Marisol. Both were watching the next race with an almost unexpected eagerness.

“I told you Estate Sail would win again,” Will stated happily.

Marisol only smiled. “The race isn’t over yet.”

Feeling superior still, you wanted nothing more than to continue your game with Sam, but, when you glanced back at his previous spot, he was nowhere to be seen. You couldn’t help but to frown until Will’s eyes caught on someone behind you and called out:

“Ah, Sam. Care to join us?”

“Actually, yes.” You tried to quiet your usual disposition, avoiding any instinct to turn and gratefully accept his presence with unadulterated mirth. It wasn’t a hard thing to do. In fact, you had to shake yourself from your frozen, shocked posture long enough to glance over your shoulder. Sam stood close enough behind your seat that you could nearly feel the heat emanating from his being, rivaling even the sun’s warmth. “Do you mind -?”

You shook your head, not fully trusting your own voice but not fully committed to throwing away the careful and meticulous planning for your public appearance together either. You waved, feigning carelessness, toward the empty seat across from you. “No, not at all.”

Before he sat, Sam made it a point to glance at Marisol and Will before settling on you. “Does anyone need a refill on drinks? Perhaps another round before the next race?”

The two of you shared a soft, lingering look - one filled with knowing desire and bridled actions. You weren’t sure how you were able to retrain your urge to surge forward and grab him by his shirt collar or loop your fingers through his belt loop, or, even, how you had the strength to manage the rest of the Regatta with a practiced smile. But, then, a minute smile spread across Sam’s features.

Another coy smirk traced your lips as you shook your head. “I’m fine, thank you. Everything I need is right here.”

[sherlollydramoine]

FINN: He’s your bother’s bestie and one night, you get shitfaced trying to keep up with their drinking game. You try to seduce Finn every chance you get, but he takes care of you instead of taking advantage of you ❤️

Soooooo.... I got a little carried away. Enjoy this drunken attempt at seduction because I literally have no idea what the hell I’ve just done. Lol

Warnings: alcohol consumption, ridiculously terrible seduction attempts, language, some comedy, and mostly just fluffy hilarity. 

Word Count: 1,439

“I got this!” you hollered as you stood next to your brother Toby’s best friend Finn during a rather raucous game of Vodka Pong. That is exactly what it sounds like because your brother and his friends sure knew how to have a damn good time, and they had run out of beer halfway into their ‘boys night’ that you decided to crash at the garage, so they decided Vodka was a better alternative.

You square your shoulders, prepare your throw and miss the solo cup by a mile. You could hear Finn snicker to your left and you playfully elbowed him in the stomach.

“Dammit!” you slur, “I fucking had it.”

“Yeah, if maybe the cup was located about a mile to your right.” Finn teased.

“Hmmmph.” 

“I’ll help you next time.”

Your brother lined up his shot, took aim,and the lightweight ping pong ball landed in your cup.

“Fuckkkkkkkkk” you groaned, as Toby just grinned at you and shrugged his shoulders. You fish the ball out of your cup and plop it into the cup of water sitting off to the side, pick up the red cup in front of you and down the contents quickly. 

When it was your turn to throw again, you felt Finn come up behind you and whisper “I told you that I’d help you.”

 One of his hands was resting on your hip and the other on your elbow. He started giving you advice on how to properly line up the shot, and something about just relaxing your grip. You were unable to hear a word of what he was saying because all you could focus on was the close proximity of his body to yours and the way his body felt pressed against yours; his breath hot on your ear and the way his voice rumbles in his chest when he speaks.

“Okay, So YN, are you ready?” Finn asks.

“That’s cheating!” Toby yelled in protest, though his eyes were alight with some sort of amusement.

“Huh?” is all you manage to say.

“YN were you listening to me? I was telling you how to line up the shot and how to hit your target every time.

“Sorry Finn, I got distracted by your sexy body against mine, and your voice is so gorgeously distracting.”

All of a sudden Toby let out a loud guffaw of laughter and Finn looked a little bit shocked.

“Oh shit!” you cover your mouth in horror, “Did I say that out loud?”

Finn just slowly nods his head, while a smirk slowly spreads across his face.

Three rounds of vodka pong later, where the boys got their infinite supply of vodka you’ll never know, you started swaying a little bit. 

You were about to call it a night and just go home to pass out but you caught sight of Finn standing there,his hair glowing an almost red shade in the weird lighting of the garage and your stomach did a flip flop. It suddenly felt as if you’d been struck by  lightning and your long ago suppressed feelings for him came bubbling up to the surface. You’d told yourself that it was a no-go, I mean sleeping with your brother’s best friend could only cause drama right?

“Fuck it” you mutter aloud to noone, you decide to attempt to sexily saunter over to where Finn was leaning against one of the work benches sipping on his water bottle. 

After your accidental confession earlier you’d felt his eyes watching you.

“Sup?” he asks, with a raised brow.

“I dunno Finn. Yous so sexy I wanna fuck you so badddddddd.” you confess again.

“As much as I’d love to fuck you too darlin, I think you are too shitfaced to do anything about that right now.”

“NO! IM NOTT” you yell, causing Toby and Benny to look up from whatever they’d been quietly discussing in the corner. After Toby assessed the situation and realized that you were just reacting to something and not in any danger he smiles brightly before opening his mouth.

“Finn you can fuck my sister. Just don’t break her heart man or I run your ass over and I won’t regret it!” Toby yells.

“YOOO BROOOOOO NOOOOOOO” you scream back attempting to whirl around to give your brother a piece of his mind but instead you just end up swaying on your feet and then crashing into Finn.

“My heroooooooo!” you sing-song, as FInn lets out a little chuckle. 

“That’s me, Finn, your regular ole knight in shining armor.”

“Mmmmmm… you’d look good in shiny armor.” you mumble running your finger up his chest, neck and then along his jaw. 

He grabs your hand and moves it away causing you to recoil in embarrassment, or attempt to recoil anyway, but you nearly lose your balance and he ends up grabbing you by your waist to stop you from crashing into the open Craftsman tool box full of tools.

“My hero again.”

“Let’s get you home YN, I think you’ve had enough tonight.”

“No. I don’t want to go. I want to make out with your face.”

“If this is your attempt at seduction you aren’t doing a great job. It’s supposed to be a little more subtle than that,” he laughs, his grip on your waist tightening just a little bit as he attempts to pull you upright.

“Oh ho ho ho… says the man that thinks ‘Let me show what these mechanics hands can do’ is the greatest pick up line ever. I don’t need seduction advice from you, I’m doing just fine on my own thank you. Now, shut up and fuck me already.”

“No can do sweetheart, but I can help you into the car.”

“You suck! No-no-no-no! I suck. I give great head Finn, wanna find out just what my loud mouth is capable of?”

His awkward laughter was infectious though and he leans over and whispers,”Baby, when you aren’t three sheets to the wind and can stand upright, I’ll let you do whatever you want to me but right now you need to go to bed.”

“Hmmmph I can stand up on my own. Watch me.”

Of course your clumsy, completely shitfaced ass had to trip over something invisible and you ended up sprawled on the hard concrete of the garage. Toby looks up that loud clattering noise and shakes his head at you. You roll over and just start laughing, gut clenching full fledged laughter, the kind that is contagious. After a few moments of Finn looking panicked he joins you in the laughter. 

“You can stand on your own, huh?”

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” 

“You said you could handle it, I think this is further proof that you just need to go to bed.

“Oh my God Finn why are you so obsessed with getting into my bed?”

His gorgeous olive complexion began to slowly turn an interesting shade of red.

“You misconstrued my meaning.”

“No I didn’t. Face it, you want to be in my bed just as bad you want to be in my pussy right now.”

“Christ on a cracker woman, your seduction skills are so on point today,” he says with an eye roll.

“See! Told you I was better at the art of seduction than you. Can I find out what your mechanic's hands can really do? I’ve heard rumors that your fingers are quite deft at-”

“I’m going to help you up off the floor now, and then I’m going to put you in the car. Once you are in my car I’m going to drive you home and help you into your bed. After you are all tucked in I am going to go home myself.”

“Hmmph. You could just share a bed with me.”

“No can do. With you in this drunk-seductress state I’m afraid of what might happen to me if I should dare close my eyes for a second.”

“I’m soaking wet for you right now.”

“Are you sure you didn’t just pee your pants?”

“Nope. Pretty sure my pussy is so wet you could drown a toddler in my panties and there is only one cure for my problem Finn. I need your D in my V immediately.”

He just lets out a loud sigh, kneels next to you, hooks his arms under your armpits and hauls your drunken ass to your feet. 

Swaying along with his body he maneuvers you to his car and plops you into the front passenger seat. You watch as he walks around to the driver's side but as soon as the car pulls onto the road it was lights out for you.

[que-pasa-calabasa]

que-pasa-calabasa’s Good Omens fic rec masterpost

In no particular order, except for the fact that I’m putting all the PWP (or close approximations thereof) together at the bottom. Some will be not be show-canon compliant as they predate the release. Summaries are copy-pasted from the ao3 summary; italics are my own commentary added. 

is it that we are dying? (5k, G): England, 1349, the middle of the 14th century. The black death rages, and Aziraphale has to help a dying demon escape from a church. Sad and sweet, completely indulgent hurt/comfort

Don’t Play With Holy Water (30k, M): When the Bentley goes missing, Crowley isn't sure what to make of it. Unbeknownst to him, a certain lurking demon is waiting to settle an old score... A wild ride full of peril and body-swapping, Aziraphale is a BAMF

Mirror, Mirror (44k, T): Adam, Eve, and Crawly flee Eden through the Western Gate, and it turns out that that simple decision makes all the difference in the world... Parallel-universe Crowley is hilariously evil, regular-degular Crowley takes a turn as the bad-ass

with my mind on my money (and my money on my mind) (3k, T): Mr. Fell was as eccentric as Tim might expect a rare book dealer with a connoisseur's knowledge of cannabis strains to be, and he couldn't help being fond of him. Aziraphale and Crowley do weed, what more is there to say?

In which Adam challenges Crowley to a drinking contest and it is a terrible idea (1k, T): It is a rather foolish thing to set a bet with the devil, or even with a devil, unless you have an ace—or better yet, all the aces in the deck—up your sleeve.But if you are the Antichrist, the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is Called Dragon, Spawn of Satan, etc., etc., well…you were born with all the aces up your sleeve, and the only admonishment you need is “Have fun, kiddo, and don’t screw him over too hard.”  Pure humor, entertaining drunk!Crowley

Game Over, Insert Coin (14k, M): An Account of Certain Events occurring in the Groundhog Day AU no one asked for, in strict accordance as shall be shewn with Narrative Interference of an (Un)predictable Nature for the Sleepless Reader. Exactly what it says on the tin, all your normal Groundhog Day AU angst

A Matter of Convenience (12k, T): “You know,” Crowley rasped as he struggled to scrape himself off the ground, “I can't shake the feeling that there must be an easier way to go about this.”A possible take on the birth of the Arrangement. There’s some sadness, some historical fun, and some Hurt Boys (tm)

Rarefied Air (3k, E): Earth is getting older, news is getting worse, and an angel has to go to extreme heights to get any peace and quiet at all. But as close as you can get to Heaven, you're still never far from Hell. (Hell hasn't frozen. Crowley nearly has.) There’s explicit sex in this but it’s so much more than PWP

Dark and Stormy Night (or Never Underestimate an Angel) (5k, T): “Hmph. I suppose you think that, just because I’m an angel, that I’m too tame to read a scary story properly?” Silly and cute, Crowley and Aziraphale are weird godfathers to the Them

The Curse of Horemheb (66k, M): “The locals call her Bibân el Molûk, but she’s better known as the Valley of the Kings.”Or: Aziraphale and Crowley run into each other in Luxor in 1908 and find themselves confronted with the consequences of actions three thousand years old. Sprawling multi-era adventure with some good fun tropes

off the record (8k, T): Crowley has to submit a biannual report, but there are some things that he often neglects to include. Cute, sweet almost-meta on the natures of Crowley and Aziraphale

A Sticker Situation (1k, G): Everyone's favorite angel and demon are innocently driving past a gas station when Crowley notices a giveaway that he absolutely must participate in. Crowley is a huge James Bond nerd

Under the Apple Tree (6k, T): Crowley finds himself in a tight spot, and Aziraphale dares to hope his help could turn into something more. Devastating, if you like tragic hurt/comfort this is the one for you

Essentially Social Chameleons (2k, G): In short, Aziraphale and Crowley are not as good at blending in with mortals as they think they are. There are better places to discover this than Newton and Anathema's baby's christening, but, well, we're here now. Very silly, one my my favorite genres (humans are confused by Crowley and Aziraphale)

the bucket list (13k, E): There was a certain look that Aziraphale wore occasionally—a pinched sort of moue that looked like he’d just taken a very large mouthful of cinnamon—which meant he thought Crowley was being ridiculous. He had put it on.“Hang on,” he had said. “You want us to do human things?” *If you're going to go native, you might as well go all the way. Crowley and Aziraphale decide to try some fun human things, there’s some obvious smut but it’s not what it’s really about

Milton Was Right (1k, T): Adam knows where most babies come from, but is pretty sure that doesn't apply to him. Aziraphale and Crowley show their usual levels of competence in explaining where antichrists come from. Just...extremely funny

it's the light (it's the obstacle that casts it) (5k, T): It's like having a curtain pulled back on something he wasn't expecting to see. A surprise punch-and-judy at an up-scale restaurant, a lobster thermidor when he's ordered an ale.Crowley's gleefully trying to wrap his head around the fact that Aziraphale is speaking Polari. Because of course he is. Or: The Patron Saint of London's LGBT Community is real, and he lives in Soho. One of my favorites

HERE BE SMUT

The One in Which Crowley Discovers Wanking (5k, E): It began, like most memorable events in Crowley’s life did, with a bad decision; like most bad decisions, it involved poor impulse control and copious amounts of alcohol. The Antichrist had been born, and he put on lipstick and kitten heels to deal with it, but knew that the clock was ticking, and at times when time was slipping away, it helped to hold onto a bottle of gin. Also what it says on the tin, Crowley jacks off while Aziraphale sort of helps

Come Fuck Me Hips (5k, E): Crowley has had a fantasy about Aziraphale for centuries now. Too bad the angel would never take him up on it. Except, as it turns out, he absolutely would. Crowley’s a bottom and Aziraphale is a service top, this is pretty much the only dynamic I accept

I Was Born to Love You (28k, E): Crowley shows up to take Aziraphale to lunch, and for the first time in quite a good while, he flashes just a bit of ankle. And that's how it all begins. Fun banter, hot sex

The Mysteries of Ladies’ Knickers (2k, E): Somewhere in the fall of 1963, Aziraphale was issued a new body. Later, he was never entirely sure if the mix-up following the assignment of its replacement was intentional or purely accidental. He had his suspicions. Crowley was not sure how to feel about it. It’s hot, Aziraphale is a woman temporarily, there’s sex, you know the drill

Love Hath Made Thee a Tame Snake (3k, E): He was the bloody Serpent of Eden, and he wasn’t going to stand for this kind of flagrant trespassing. Kind of borderline fluff/smut, the first half is mostly cute snake!Crowley

Killer Queen (2k, E): In hindsight, Crowley reflected, it was probably not one of his best or brightest ideas to introduce a six-thousand-year-old virgin to the subtle and intricate matters of sexual intercourse. Things could, frankly speaking, get a little out of hand. (Or, Aziraphale has a sexual awakening.) Oh God, hilarious and sexy, Aziraphale treats sex like food and wants to try aLL THE THINGS

Tryst on a Hot Church Roof (2k, E): Crowley has some fantasies. Aziraphale encourages him to explore them and not to be embarrassed. Neither of them can really take roleplay seriously but they still have a good time. Those nerds trying to sexily roleplay and failing is one of my fav tropes

[evolsinner]

⊱┊2

after eating as much of the heavily processed food that i could, i crawled into bed. why does he have to leave me in the time that i crave him the most? it's impossible to sleep without his warmth next to me...which leads me to phone my best friend on the burner.

"happy brithdaaaay!" larissa squeals. "did you guys have birthday sex?! actually, wait, no, don't answer that! what'd he get~"

"shhh!" i whisper, giggling. "quiet down, 'rissa."

"right, right, i'm sorry. i have my bedroom door shut and the folks are asleep so don't worry too much," she assures me. "hehe, missed you, best friend."

"missed you too. maxi, alright?"

"he's great! always comes over and plays lego with me and~" she pauses to clear her throat before starting again. "anyways, what did he say this time? am i allowed to visit?!"

i sigh like a deflated balloon, "i'm sorry, larissa."

"what? c'mon! you said we'd get to meet on your birthday!"

"there's still too much buzz out there. has my mom and dad backed down yet?"

"what do you think?"

i roll my eyes, irritated.

my parents didn't take it so well when the news broke out. they thought i was some reckless, disobedient, stupid little girl. as if i care what they think anymore.

i tried to explain it to them in so many ways, so many times ~ via proxies, via payphones, but they won't listen to anything or anyone. they just don't want me spending my life with someone that i barely know. hence, they're doing everything in their power to try and get me away from him.

so far, it ain't working.

"your father hired someone else today," larissa informs me.

i chuckle, "yeah, whatever," dismissing the subtle fear laced in her tone.

"no, rosé, i heard this person is quite good at what they do. i'm worried about you."

"you don't have to be. i've survived this far, haven't i?"

"but 'isaac', do you...do you really trust him?"

"okay, larissa, you're def crossing the line with that one.”

"babe, i didn't mean any offense, i was~"

"listen, i gotta go," i intercept downheartedly. "just tell maxi i love him." with that, i hang up and toss the phone somewhere on the bed.

-ˋˏ ༻🥂༺ ˎˊ-

12 am showers. after shaving my whole body, i place the razor in the soap holder and lather myself up with a body lotion that sorta smells like expensive cologne.

the vapour fills the hotel’s entire swanky bathroom. it's like i'm showering high up in the clouds. weirdly enough, some of the mist scatters away from my lovely cloud nine environment which causes me to shiver like a ghost has gone through me.

"what the hell?" i confusingly rub my eyes to get a clearer view of what's happening. then i realise that the shower screen has opened and a figure is nearing me. oh...my...word...

a body sculptured by the god's steps inside. with his marble eyes glued on me, he reaches his arm back and shuts the glass after himself. i can't help but stare idiotically, practically gaping. i miss him every time he leaves and i get nervous every time he's near me? what is wrong with me?

isaac places one hand on the curve of my waist, and with the other, he cups my cheek, bringing my quivering lips closer to his. "i'll have someone arrange for your friend to come over by the end of this week," he whispers. "that sound okay to you?"

my eyes smile to his response. "thank you."

"no problem."

no problem? no problem?! how can he make a goddamn 'no problem' sound so sexy?! it's gotta be the voice. yep, that's gotta be it. 100%.

he steps forward and i step back so that my spine eventually rests against the glacial porcelain surface behind me. i gently place my pruney palms on his ripped torso to warm myself up twice as fast. his sugary sweet lips brush along my neck, drinking the shower water from my supraclavicular fossa and moving on to suck on a new space of skin every 2 seconds.

i am so in love, drunk off him. dazed, in a haze. "i..need you..now.." i moan.

he continues to mark multiple territories on the canvas of my almost mauve painted neck, him bursting away all of the small superficial blood vessels under my skin.

"please, isaac."

i keep leaning forward, but he keeps pushing me backward, demanding that i go at his pace ~ at his very slow as fuck taunting pace. i get agitated and give up, stepping towards the transparent exit. if he wants to play, then he can play by himself.

he grips my wrist, "rosé."

he's always playing these dumb as hell games with me when he so clearly knows how desperate i am for him! today i'm just choosing not to embarrass myself any further. i don't need no dick. so, bye, isaac, and good luck dealing with that erection on your own. should be fun. should be funny too.

"i'm done showering, sir."

he despises it when i call him 'sir' which is why it's the perfect moment to make use of it, though it doesn't work for some reason. i can tell from that subtle grin forming on his face.

"says who?" he flicks an eyebrow up.

i roll my eyes, "fuck you," and turn to leave.

he straight away hauls me back and pins my pale body up against the tiles. "don't you dare use that tone with me, luv!" he growls and i can't tell if he's actually mad.

one hand of his chokes me and another is directing his member into a concave of lava. he thinks he has the upper hand by choking me like that... he dives inside of me and sets me ablaze. i whimper from the aggressive force of it all. he grunts with each thrust and loses the capacity to take his time.

"i could fuck you forever, rosé, is that what you want?"

i nod frantically.

"slow or fast?" he asks.

"fast."

he drives me to the pinnacle of my climax, my muscles tensing up. his groans, they are harmonic to my ears, and my moans, melodic to his. he pounds into me.

"do not cum yet," he warns.

"i think..i'm.."

"hold it fucking in, luv, or i swear i'll be very disappointed with you."

i grip onto both sides of whatever that's next to me. please can nothing break this time? and, hopefully, we don’t get another noise complaint. my wet core throbs for a wetter release. it doesn't help that sir's grunts also aids in my suffering. i like the sound of his hoarse voice like that.

"c~can i now?"

"not until i say so, now shut the fuck up because you're getting me crossed."

"isaac, i need to!"

unexpectedly, he pulls out and steps back.

"sir?" like a broken little girl, i lift my hand up to his huge muscular bicep.

he smirks and turns away from me like he's getting ready to leave.

"isaac, please! you can't do this!"

"watch me."

i stifle a groan and instead, i bring my hand down, rubbing my button in a circular motion. soft moans escape from my mouth as i try desperately to get myself over the edge.

"the fuck?!" isaac spins back around. "what the fuck do you think you're doing?"

i ignore him.

he snatches my hand away and holds it upright. "you cannot touch what does not belong to you, little girl."

"yes, i can!"

"you can, huh?"

"none of me belongs to you!" i try to get a reaction out of him. "none, of, me. do you get it?"

he glares at me sexily before pushing me right back onto the tiles and my body makes a wet smacking sound. he plunges into me, so deep and so fast. he pulls out of me, then back in, out, in, out and in so many times, i lose count.

"ahh, sir, it hurts!"

"who do you belong to?!"

"you! you! to you!"

"good girl.”

i internally feel myself implode all over his veiny dick, witnessing streams of transparent liquid pouring out of me. in a flash, isaac pulls out in time to empty out his load all over my thick thighs. i catch my breath before looking up into his marble eyes, its long wet eyelashes sparkling above them.

"now you're done showering, sweetheart."

[pinksausageduo]

ong seongwoo|enemies to lovers

member: ong seongwoo genre: fluffy w a lil bit of angst warnings: sexual harassment  summary: school au! enemies to lovers au! you and seongwoo have always been secretly in love with each other but it’s always been hidden by endless pranks and teasing. one night, one closet and one confession will change everything. requested: yes enemies to lovers series: bae jinyoung | ong seongwoo | park jihoon | kim jaehwan | lai guanlin | ha sungwoon | hwang minhyun | yoon jisung

you were known to be one of the most popular girls in the grade

you were sweet, sassy, confident, witty, gorgeous and just outgoing and friendly

surprisingly you used to be super shy in middle school but with your amazing best friend kang daniel you became much more social 

but even though you were known as a super sweet girl everyone knew you hated one person

he was the cockiest, most annoying and ridiculously good looking person you’ve ever met

ong seongwoo

he was one the most popular guys, funny, confident, hot, made everyone laugh, party animal, jock and was basically liked by everyone except you

and don’t get me wrong he hated you too

but that didn’t stop everyone in the whole entire school to ship you

especially your and his best friend daniel

“seriously y/n, when are you and seongwoo going to get together??” he’d say literally on a daily basis

go daniel the cupid!! lol tf is wrong with me

everyone would always say

“you guys would be the golden couple!”

“actually 2nd golden couple, you could never beat daehwi and jinyoung”

“no but actually you would look so good together”

“and the sexual chemistry between you is ridiculous”

you’d dismiss the comments and just roll your eyes 

but you couldn’t lie to yourself

you liked him a lot but you’d never admit it in a 100 years

you couldn’t help but smile sweetly at the incident which started the feud between you two 

which of course was when you fell for him

seongwoo was dared to pour a whole entire bucket of water on you by jaehwan because all his friends knew seongwoo had the biggest crush on you you didn’t know he had a crush on you tho

seongwoo as much as he liked you would never step down from a dare

so he did it

just as you were entering the cafeteria he poured a whole entire huge bucket of water all over you 

he was expecting you to slap him, or get super pissed

to his amazement and surprise you didn’t 

you felt the rush of water and you could tell by the laugh it was seongwoo

and you smiled to yourself knowing if you got pissed that means he would get the satisfaction

so instead you turned back to face him just to give a smirk and a raise of your eyebrow and then you screamed out

“WATER FIGHT!!!!!”

and it was a hot summer’s day so literally the cafeteria went into absolute chaos

people got their water bottles, cups, someone even got a hose

and water was everywhere, with people running around and screaming 

it was one of the best lunches even afternoon classes got cancelled because literally everyone was soaked head to toe even the teachers

and the cafeteria was basically just looked like it was in a flood

just as the water fight started, you filled up the bucket he used on you 

and seongwoo was just in awe of you of turning this whole entire thing on him

you walked up to him still drenched and with the same exact bucket he poured water on you, you poured it on him

he couldn’t help but smile brightly as you did thinking

“shit this one hell of a girl”

and you were smiling the whole time 

you couldn’t help yourself but admire his smile, his joking casual attitude, and him wanting to make people smile

but you also thought he’s such a cocky jerk but you knew 

as you were pouring water all over him and he was grinning happily

you were gonna fall for him

and oh boy did you 

and then as the last droplet landed on him

you whispered in his ear “better luck next time”

you winked at him and walked off 

luckily he didn’t see your super red blush and couldn’t hear your racing heart

he also was trying to stop his ears from going bright red and to stop smiling the goofy adorable smile he knew he had on his face

he stared at you the whole time as you walked away from him

but for the grande finale you rang the fire alarm in the cafeteria making the sprinklers go off 

then you just strutted out there like the boss ass bitch you were

and seongwoo literally fell so in love with you right there and then 

he knew he could never meet someone like you ever in his whole entire lifetime

someone finally outsmarted the great ong seongwoo

and he finally fell for someone

but that was like 6 months ago

in those 6 months you turned into enemies who secretly loved each other

seongwoo would do ANYTHING to get your attention

which usually meant annoying the shit out of you 

and constantly be super competitive 

but you couldn’t help but love it, any interaction with him made your heart flutter 

but literally in every test, exam, sports competition

you both would always be 1st or 2nd

and the bragging rights were huge 

“yah! y/n i ranked 1st in maths and guess where you are 2ndddd” he’d tease as the score sheet was up

“oh shut up, i beat you in english”

“and remember last week, aren’t you supposed to be in the soccer team?? how come i beat your team when we were playing soccer in sport??” you retorted

both of you stayed silent for a few moments thinking of that lesson

basically what happened was seongwoo was getting jealous at one of the guys, xiumin being too close to you

and he literally “accidentally” bumped into him super hard making xiumin fall

but he didn’t apologise and left him there making you super pissed off

after you helped him up and he told you he was fine

you stormed up to seongwoo and demanded

“apologise! you literally made him fall!!”

“why the hell should I?” he cockily remarked back

you stepped closer to him making people not sure whether you were gonna slap him or kiss him

you getting more aggravated basically shouted 

“GET YOUR ASS OVER THERE AND APOLOGISE!”

he scoffed at your remark making you want to strangle him and stepping so close to you your noses were touching and said 

“sweetheart, make me”

everyone was just staring at you two, the sexual tension was so thick literally no one said a thing

you were glaring daggers at him while he was casually smirking

then you sickly sweetly smiled at him and stepped on his foot super hard

and said “whoopsie”

you walked off as he was groaning in pain clutching his foot

these sort of incidents happened between you two

and everyone could see the sexual chemistry between you two shipping you two all the time

but all the hatred, teasing, snide comments stopped one night

you were both at a party, you weren’t really enjoying it 

feeling super duper jealous as you saw seongwoo dancing with at least 3 girls

minhyun noticed and said to you “yah y/n stop staring at seongwoo, you’re making it so obvious that you like him”

“i don’t like him minhyun-ah” you said with a sigh

“mhmmm sureee keep telling yourself that” sungwoon butted in sassily

“just make him jealous y/n he’ll be all over you in seconds” drawled jaehwan

“dance with woojin then, sexily of course” daniel said with a teasing wink

“all of you just stoppppp” you groaned

“jisung help me out here??” you pleaded at jisung

“as much i hate to admit, i agree with the boys” he said raising his hands up in surrender

you huffed and puffed and then said fine

you went up to woojin who was dancing in the centre of the dance floor

and you told him that you were trying to make seongwoo jealous so is it okay if you danced with him

luckily you guys were good friends but 

he still blushed so hard at first then shyly agreed

but once you were both dancing it just became a lot of fun

and of course seongwoo couldn’t help but get jealous and stare at you two

then the guys moved to him

enjoying making you two squirm

“seongwoo stop making it so obvious you’re jealous” sungwoon teasingly said

“ME?! jealous of y/n and woojin?? no way in hell would that happen” he denied outright

“seongwoo even me, i can tell you’re basically in love with her” jisung said exasperatedly 

“seriously though when are you going to ask her out” minhyun asked

seongwoo just sighed and gave up lying to them and said

“gosh i like her so much, it’s crazy, i’d do anything to get her attention, i have literally gone on no dates for 6 months, she’s perfect but she’d never like me, she probably hates my guts” he ended dejectedly

literally everybody rolled their eyes at that

“HOW IS IT THAT YOU DON’T REALISE SHE’S ALSO MADLY IN LOVE WITH YOU??!!” daniel exclaimed throwing his hands in the air and then dramatically falling back onto the floor

“she’s doesn’t like me at all she hates my guts?” seongwoo said confused 

“okay hyung, look at y/n dancing with woojin right now, that’s to make you jealous okay? and you can tell by the way she’s literally looking at you every 5 seconds to make sure you’re watching” jihoon said slowly trying to explain to seongwoo 

seongwoo scoffed at first but then he noticed what jihoon said was right, you kept looking at him to make sure he was looking at you dancing

he started to grin broader and broader

as he realised what the guys were saying were right

he literally felt like doing the biggest happy dance 

he felt he was on the top of the world as he realised you liked him as well

on the other hand

you couldn’t help but blush at his intense gaze on you and the way he was smiling was making your heart melt

you excused yourself to woojin saying you were going to get a drink so you could calm and collect yourself

you headed upstairs and as you were relaxing in front of a door 

someone grabbed your wrist super tight and wrapped a hand around your mouth 

harshly pulling you into a small closet

your eyes meet some random man trying to kiss you

you could smell the alcohol in his breath 

you tried to get out of the closet but realised it was locked

your instincts kicked in and you started kicking and hitting and screaming for help

he restrained you and held you down making you feel desperate and helpless

after so much effort of getting him off you

screaming that he was a pedo and creep and to stop

he still tried to kiss you 

just as you were about to give up and let him kiss you 

the closet door flung right open

it was seongwoo

he saw you walk up the stairs and thought to leave you to be for a while before confessing but after 10 minutes he got worried

he knew there were a lot of drunk guys around and hoped nothing bad happened to you 

he went upstairs and found guanlin on his phone and asked him super concerned 

“guanlin-ah did you see y/n??!”

“no sorry hyung, i came up just like 2 minutes ago” guanlin said 

seongwoo than frantically tried to find you, going from room to room 

then he heard the banging from a closet

he then heard you scream 

and all he saw was red after

you couldn’t help but relax as you saw seongwoo

the guy gruffly said “get the hell out”

seongwoo said in a voice which was dangerously low

“you have 3 seconds to get your fucking filthy hands off the girl i love before i beat the crap out of you, 1, 2, 3″

the guy still hadn’t moved

he was basically ripped off from you then seongwoo got one punch in

before the guy scrambled out and slammed the closet door shut

you both realised you guys couldn’t get out but didn’t really care anymore just glad that it was all over

you relaxed as the guy wasn’t in your sight anymore

then you tried to process everything especially

the girl i love bit

but before you could say anything

two muscular arms wrapped around you super tight

you felt so warm and safe in seongwoo’s arms

he whispered into your ears “i was so worried about you”

your heart flutters as you hear the sincerity and concern in his voice

“thank you for saving me” you said your voice slightly trembling

still traumatised from the incident

“of course, don’t worry now, i’m here okay?” he said sweetly

“okay” you say sighing in relief

for a few minutes you just stood there just hugging each other

you eventually break apart and you couldn’t help but say 

“the girl you love huh?”

“i never said that” seongwoo denied adamantly 

“say it againnn” you tease 

“say what again?” he asks pretending to be clueless 

“that you love me” you say with a smirk you say stepping super close to him

you both stared intently into each others eyes and seongwoo’s eyes kept on flittering to your lips back to your eyes

making your heart beat faster than it ever has

seongwoo not even registering what he was doing 

softly kissed you at first in a way like asking your permission

and allowing you to break apart

you didn’t want that at all and you deepened the kiss 

he reciprocated almost immediately 

as it continues it continuously became more passionate

all the sexual chemistry between you basically exploded

you ran your hands through his hair

and he couldn’t help himself but fall in love even more as you kept on smiling as you kissed him

but as the kisses became more passionate

he’d bite your lips softly making you moan softly

he’d trail kisses all the way down to your collarbone

making you arch your back slightly

then he’d recapture your lips and kiss you over and over again 

you both end up making out for a solid 10 minutes

as you parted, seongwoo wore the cheekiest smile

you scolded him but you couldn’t help but smile

“wipe that smirk off your face ong seongwoo”

“yes dear’ he’d teasingly coo

you rolled your eyes

you guys ended up getting out of the closet by you picking the lock with a bobby pin

without saying goodbye to anyone, you grabbed your stuff and headed to seongwoo’s house

both your parents were out of town 

so you just stayed at his place for the night 

stop thinking so dirty no they did not do it

just because you were still scared at the incident of tonight

and seongwoo wanted to make sure you were okay

seongwoo gave you one go his t-shirts to change into and it was a simple loose black t shirt 

you went to seongwoo and twirled around and asked

“do i look okay?” 

seongwoo just cheekily smiled and couldn’t help but rush up to you and kiss you sweetly because of how good you looked in his shirt

and whispered

“you look perfect, you’ve always been perfect to me and you are the perfect girl for me”

“y/n will you be my girlfriend?”

he ended with a sweet forehead kiss and you nod and sweetly reply 

“as cheesy as it sounds i’ve basically been in love with you for the past 6 months so of course i will”

he’d kiss you softly after you said yes both of you grinning like you won the lottery 

you both end up talking for hours, eating junk food, while cuddling and 

laughing about how you hated each other and constantly teased each other and all the small arguments you guys had

after talking about the most random little things to the deepest secrets you’ve never revealed 

laughing you head off or teasingly arguing with each other 

you both were super exhausted

and you then ended up falling asleep in your favourite place in the world

in seongwoo’s arms

once you went to sleep seongwoo smiled at you in a way someone could if they were in love and before he passed out himself 

he whispered sweetly in your ear

“sweet dreams, y/n, i love you”

THIS WAS A BLESSING TO WRITE!!! i love seongwoo so much he’s my bw and just AGH FEELS!!! also this was super rushed so whoops sorry. i hope the sexual harassment wasn’t too much and the makeout sesh you enjoyed ;) I’M ALSO TAGGING @starrywinters SO I CAN RUIN HER BIAS LIST and we will fangirl over how much we love seongwoo and how we’re unloyal hoes. Y’ALL SHOULD FOLLOW HER she has amazing fics

anyways hope you enjoyed it!!! love you all, message me and send me anons!

enemies to lovers series: bae jinyoung | ong seongwoo | park jihoon | kim jaehwan | lai guanlin | ha sungwoon | hwang minhyun | yoon jisung

[raximoweek]

An insight into Cristina’s life by C. Bonadincel

You wake up to 45 text messages from your son Máximo waiting to be answered on your phone.  Check your facebook/twitter/Instagram and you have 450 likes on the selfie you took of yourself with a caption making fun of our current President.  You want more attention though, so you take a shower, put on a shirt that whoops! accidentally lets the side of your bra show, put on 4 whole pencil’s worth of eyeliner to go from a 9.5/10 to a 10/10, and snap a quick selfie of yourself that you quickly upload to your social media accounts with some sarcastic emojis.  Maybe this one will get you 4500 likes.

Your driver takes you to the Senate in a car that cost 365,283 whole Argentinian pesos.  Before you get out you make a quick video complaining about all the injustices done to you by Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio : (  Got to keep the public talking about you! you laugh to yourself.  As you walk into the Congress building, you pass several Federal Justices on the street. They all stare at you as you pass. Most of them are actually concerned with bringing justice to the nation of Argentina and punishing its most heinous white-collar criminals.  Gross! You ignore them.  These losers spend their whole adult life jerking off to persecuting their political opponents, and they still only earn one million pesos per year—legally.

You stop to get your usual morning diet fruit salad on the way.  Have to maintain all 140 pounds of you!  The good-looking boy serves you and tries chatting you up again, but he’s too good looking, nothing like your crude, hulking son Máximo or the rotting corpse of your dead husband who it’s time to get over.  You know he’s going to ask you out one day, but you’ll end up rejecting him because you only fuck people with the last name of Kirchner.  You don’t mind the attention though.

Several men stare at your cleavage and the bruises on your leg that conveniently show through your tights as you resume your walk.  It’s so hard to be such a radiant goddess.  You enter your 106,000 pesos per year Senate job which you had to get by manipulating the voters due to being a mentally ill degenerate with no competence or leadership skills who’s thirsty for power.  You notice many of your male political opponents are there. The Senate is sexist.  Typical.  You greet all of your coworkers: Máximo’s handsome young friend from La Cámpora, Axel Kicillof your young, brilliant Chad former minister of economy, Máximo’s other handsome young friend from La Cámpora, Hot Blonde Female Senator who you’re probably fucking, and nemesis from the opposing party Vice President Gabriela Michetti (in a wheelchair, so she can’t even sit on the special throne!)  Of course the “less corrupt” political party is currently in office.  They get all the good jobs now!  But that would change.  We’re fighting to get me—I mean, us--back into power! You remember how Kim Il-Sung of North Korea is still considered the leader of the nation even after his death. Good on him, you think to yourself.

You ask the Vice President to shut up and let you speak and she immediately does so.  You cut a grape from your fruit salad in half because grapes have such a high caloric content and demand that a bottle of low-sodium mineral water be brought to your desk.  Máximo’s young Chad friends have to come over to flirt with you, so you make the entire Senate wait for you to begin your egocentric ramblings.  Then you take the floor and talk for 45 minutes about how you’re being persecuted for your beliefs and then answer another 45 texts from Máximo.  Then leader of the majority Miguel Pichetto asks to speak.  He can be so conceited sometimes thinking anyone cares what he has to say! But at least this gives you time to go to the bathroom.  You stand up and make sure to announce how unfair it is that the bathroom is so far away while you pretend to be leaving the room quietly and respectfully.  Before you know it, it’s lunchtime and you hide in your office and stuff your face with your favorite fried pig intestines so no one sees you eating anything other than fruit salad and grilled chicken.

Around 2pm another senator from your party comes and jokingly asks if you’re doing any work.  You laugh and tell him you don’t need to work to make money and smile sexily at him (because you’re talking about all your laundered money).  You spend the rest of your time in the Senate ranting on Facebook about how Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio has accused you of colluding with Iran.  What an ugly, fat son of a bitch he is!  Your post from this morning now has 450,000 likes.  You have several text messages from Máximo letting you know he wants to get dinner tonight.  So far, he’s asked for dinner 3 times and for pre-dinner drinks 4 times. You check Página|12, the one news site in the country that understands how oppressed you and other Kirchnerite policians are (but especially you).  You see an article about how Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio should be removed from the Iran case because he holds a grudge against you and is very corrupt besides. You share the article and say how hard it is for you that this competent, experienced judge is persecuting you and your family.  You get 45 likes and 45 comments agreeing with you and saying that this innocent and ruggedly handsome enforcer of the law of the land should go to hell.

After work you head back to your apartment and do 30 minutes of running on the treadmill with smoke pouring out of your ears while watching the news anchors on TV talk about your criminal behavior.  You notice your personal trainer Luciana staring at you from the weights section. She’s pretty hot, but topping you is a privilege that she has to repeatedly earn, so you put your headphones in to listen to the Gladiator soundtrack.  You wouldn’t dare take a selfie when you’re done with the treadmill, because you don’t want the public seeing what you look like with most of your eye makeup sweated off. You head off to the water cooler to drink another glass of low-sodium mineral water.  Luciana tries to make conversation with you.  She’s hot and attractively younger than you, but her last name isn’t Kirchner, so you politely make it clear that you’re not interested (today).

You already have several more likes on your reposted article about angel of justice Bonadio and more comments about how heartless he is to persecute the best president the country has ever had.  Máximo has now asked you to go out for dinner with him 6 times.  You text him 4 times and organize the night and make sure to use lots of heart emojis.  You get home and say hi to your poodle Lolita and ignore your daughter Florencia.  She’s 27 and still a vegan.  She’s always cared about the environment, stood up for the rights of dairy cows and shit like that.  Now her baby daddy dumped her because of how obsessed with soy milk and social justice she is.  Maybe if she showed some ambition like you did.  You got into politics relatively early on because the electorate noticed how charming, sexy, and honest you are.  She was always Dad’s favorite though, and never appreciated you enough before he died.  She could be such a selfish bitch sometimes.

You call your 89 year-old mom and tell her that you want to buy a new Birkin bag but don’t want to use any of the funds you’ve thoughtfully embezzled from public works projects.  She gives you 6,088,350 pesos that she earned from scamming the Post Office.  You say thank you, even though you know you don’t really need it because you recently had a net worth of 80 million USD.  You deserve it for simply being Cristina Kirchner.

You decide it’s time to meet up with Máximo.  You need protection out on the street though in case the people who have seen through your grating charisma and realize what a sexy piece of shit you really are decide to throw eggs at you again.  You text some of Máximo’s buff, Chad friends from La Cámpora to come walk with you. You take fifty selfies and a dozen videos for your YouTube channel while you’re walking down the street.  Some men who also happen to work as federal judges and prosecutors call out to you about how immoral you are, and you and your Chad posse laugh hilariously.  All these guys aren’t getting laid, right?  Like, why do they even bother?

As soon as you get to the restaurant Máximo comes to greet you and plies you with expensive wine.  You don’t really plan on staying though because you want to have a private night with your good for nothing Chad son who’s never had a job interview in his life.  You make sure to keep his handsome male friends from La Cámpora there so they can protect Máximo’s blubbery body and lack of a law degree too.

After 4 men come to talk to you and tell you they definitely don’t believe that you allegedly ordered the murder of a prosecutor who was about to accuse you of collusion with Iran, which gets them kisses on the cheek from you, you abandon the restaurant and head off down the street with Máximo.  People greet him with respect even though he has no degrees from institutions of higher learning and owns 45 SUVs purchased with stolen money.  Your Chad bodyguards get in between you and Máximo and the innocent Argentinian citizens who you proclaim to love so much who are demanding you answer for your disgraceful crimes and complete lack of disrespect for our justice system, especially learnèd and powerful Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio. Máximo takes a video of you two walking down the street while ignoring the demands of your countrymen.  You can’t stop laughing at how empowered it makes you feel to ignore this persecution.  This is great!

At home you and Máximo sit close together on your expensive imported couch and talk because literally no one matters to you other than the degenerates in your family.  Máximo tells you how he’s broken up with his latest girlfriend, just another one in a series of girls who look like a broke-ass version of you.  You tell him how you approve of this because she was a distraction—Kirchners need to stick together.  That’s why you refuse to testify in your court appearance and won’t meet Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio’s eyes when he greets you.  Some guys can be so pathetic.  Your lawyer Gregorio is texting you.  He is a pretty hot Chad and you’ve considered ****ing him to see if that will get you free legal representation and perhaps inspire him to bribe the jury (with his own money, not yours).  Your degenerate son Máximo gets jealous so you stop replying.  The only thing you love more than defrauding and deceiving an entire country while dressing like an oversexed mom is your son who always seems to get girlfriends even though he has accomplished nothing in life (certainly nothing like going to law school and becoming a Federal Justice, anyway).  You make plans to have Máximo spend the night. You ask him which of your apartment’s 5 bedrooms he’d like to sleep in and he says he wants to sleep in yours. Gregorio is still texting you but you have long since stopped replying.  Even your Chad lawyer is kind of acting like a loser right now.  You tell Máximo that of course he can sleep in your bed with you because he’s such a big strong boy who spends Mommy’s laundered money so well. He is a literally perfect Kirchner. You remember Florencia telling you that it’s weird that Máximo still likes to sleep in your bed at age 40, yet she’s the one sleeping alone tonight.  You laugh to yourself. She must be doing something wrong.  She’s obviously not worthy of the kind of love you and Máximo share.

After a night as deviant as you are, you wake up to Luciana asking if you’ll have hot girl-on-girl sex with her today, your mom sending you her fraudulent money for your new Birkin bag, and 450 comments on a leaked photo someone took of you on the treadmill saying you look good even with your 45 pounds of mascara smeared all over your face.  It’s only 9am.  Máximo brings you cake in bed and you post another article trashing the blameless silver fox Federal Justice Claudio Bonadio on all your social media profiles.  Today is going to be a good day!

[hypnofur1]

Trouble With The Tickets

Trouble With The Tickets

By Hypnofur

"Fuck!" I shouted in the middle of the plane. In retrospect, I hope no little kids heard me. I couldn’t help it though, my frustration had just reached a boiling point. I didn’t want to be on this business trip in the first place. Then, the flight was awful with turbulence nearly all the way. I hate turbulence, I can barely handle flying as it is. Not to mention the creepy guy next to me was checking me out the whole time. Worst of all, I had to leave my husband alone on his birthday. But at least he could see his beloved Seattle Seahawks play live in our home stadium of Baltimore; or so I thought. The god damned Monday Night Football tickets had cost a pretty penny, however, in a moment of shear frustration and mental anguish, I realized that the tickets, for the game that night, were in my bag which was tucked nice and cozy in the overhead bin. In my haste to pack I had forgotten to put them on the table. My mind raced through every possible way of getting the tickets to him. But it was only hours to the game and I was half way across the country. I called my husband. It would be his big "four-oh" birthday the next day. It was bad enough he had to spend it without me, but now I had even messed up the big present. All he had to show for my effort were a pair of two thousand dollar book marks, and he would not even get them until I came back, after his birthday. I guess I would not be making "wife of the year" anytime soon. I called him from O’Hare. "I'm so sorry." I told him. But he was cool about it, saying he did not want to mess me up before my meeting, and what was done was done. This is why I loved him. He was so calm and steady. My rock. "Besides it’s freezing out." Tim said, putting a good face on everything. I promised to make it up to him, but how? Wait until Seattle was back in Baltimore? It had been like 8 years or more since that happened. Get my money back from the local ticket scalpers? It wasn’t like they had a 90 day return policy. I went to what ultimately (big surprise) proved to be a totally unnecessary business meeting that I could have handled, no correct that, the college intern who brings the coffee cart around the building could have handled through a phone call, or probably even a text. My mind was a swirl of frustration, self-loathing, and desperation as I entered the hotel. I was lost in my thoughts about how to make it right to my husband. What could I give him from half way across the country? My mind ran down a list of gift services, but they all seemed to, well, suck. It would have been different if it was any other birthday, or if I was at home or something. If I was at home I could do something special for him like his big sex fantasy. The hypno stuff. Actually, could I do something about his stupid hypno-bullshit from here? My husband had had this fantasy for years. At first he could not talk about it, he would sort of hint at it around the edges, but then one day it came out, he wanted to see me get hypnotized. Now, I’m an educated, powerful career woman, there is no way I could ever believe that some jack ass saying words about sleep could get me to do things that I didn’t intend on doing. I’m a ‘tell it like it is’, smart ass kind of girl. Hypnosis is a crock of shit, and it was hard for me to pretend otherwise. When I first heard about his little fetish, I made that quite clear. He got the message and never brought it up again. However, about a year ago, I stumbled onto his porn collection. Every wife dreams of finding that treasure trove. It was a bunch of stories, pics, and videos of women being hypnotized. Even though he hadn’t said anything about it in the last five years or so, it was clear it was still lighting his fire. The hypno crap was just what got him going, for whatever reason.

This past summer, we went out with one of my colleagues from the West Coast office who was in Baltimore visiting our office. His wife had never been to the East Coast, so he brought her along. Tim and I took them out to dinner one night in Glenwood, where we live. She was a cute, bubbly little thing. Younger than Tim and I. Tim is always a perfect gentleman and husband though, he never checked her out like a creep or anything. Told me I looked beautiful like ten times that night, etc.

However, when we were walking into the restaurant, there was a poster still up for a stage hypnotist that had performed there the week before. I of course noticed Tim checking it out intently. His eyes were drawn to it like a magnet. What was crazy to me was how Tim could control himself from checking out the pretty young woman we were dining with no problem, but his eyes kept darting back to that poster every five seconds. He was trying to do it discreetly, in the same way most husbands try to discreetly check out other women.

We were getting drinks at the bar while we were waiting for our table and Tina, the younger wife, noticed the poster as well. She mentioned that she had been hypnotized before, and it “was crazy”. I saw the color drain from Tim’s face as he tried to act normal. I laughed to myself a little bit, and tried not to get too jealous.

Well, a few drinks at the bar were followed by a few drinks at dinner. By desert, I was definitely drunk. Just for my own amusement, I asked Tina about the time she was hypnotized, knowing full well how it would affect Tim. He turned completely pale again, it was kind of funny.

“I always thought of hypnosis as bullshit” I started off. Not as classy, or as sensitive to Tim as I would have liked, but like I said, I was four margarita’s deep at that point. I also sometimes don’t say the nicest things, even when I am not drunk. It’s something I’m working on… slowly.

She said “I can assure you it is real. It was on a cruise. My cousins dared me to go up. I don’t remember much, but I do remember thinking that anything the hypnotist said was the best idea I had ever heard. It was like: pretend I’m a life guard and yell at an audience member for peeing in the pool? Of course I should do that, you’re a genius!” she said with a cute little laugh. She was so perky.

She was going to go on about it more, but then her husband asked if that was the cruise that every got the Norwalk virus on. She then expanded into that story. It would have been weird if I brought the conversation back to the hypnotist, even drunk me knew that.

That night when we got home, I was still pretty drunk. I could tell Tim was trying to play it off like it was no big deal. As usual, he was helping take care of me. After we both got into some PJ’s, he got me a glass of water with some Alka-seltzer in it.  It’s my secret trick to avoid a hang over.

In my inebriated state, I was feeling a little mischievous. I noticed Tim’s lite weight pajama pants, and I wanted to have a little fun. As he handed me my drink, I said to him, “Pretty crazy that Tina had been hypnotized before, huh? You must have liked that story.”

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t have liked being on a ship with a Norwalk virus break out” he deflected.

“Don’t change the subject” I pressed, “You can’t possibly expect me to believe you weren’t thinking about cute little Tina. With her toned arms and tight little ass up there on a stage, listening to the hypnotist, slumping over in her chair as she was deeply hypnotized” I said, laying it on thick. Yup, sure enough, I saw a tent pole starting to form in those pajama pants.

“You know I only think of you hon” he said weakly. Ha! He was crumbling. This was fun.

“I know babe, it’s ok. Shhhhh. I’m not mad. It was a sexy thought for me too. Didn’t she say that whatever the hypnotist said seemed like such a good idea? Do think he told her to do anything dirty?” I said as sexily as I could. Holy shit, the tent pole was now fully holding up the tent!

“Erica, I----“ he stumbled.

I didn’t let him interrupt, “I bet he told her to meet him in his cabin some night during the cruise. Tim, it probably seemed like such a good idea to her. I bet he told her to bend over when she was in the cabin. That also probably seemed like such a good idea. I bet he felt up that tight little ass of hers.” I said. I had never talked like this before. It was kind of sexy, kind of fun. I knew I was playing with fire though, talking about some other chick with my husband.

Tim just looked at me, his cock hard as a rock, his face red. He was breathing so heavy and I thought his heart was going to beat out of his chest. I didn’t care if I was about to get burned by this fire, it was hot.

”I bet he told her to pull down her panties and finger herself a little bit, to get nice and wet for him. I bet she thought it was such a good idea Tim. I have a good idea Tim, why don’t you take out your cock and start stroking it. I want to see how hard you are.” I said. I was like a woman possessed. To my surprise, he actually did it. This hypno shit had quite an effect on him.

“mmmm stroke that dick for me, baby.” I coaxed. “Do you think he told her to beg for his cock? Do you think she thought that was a good idea too? Think she begged for his cock in that perky little voice of hers? Think she squealed when he stuck it in her? With that cute little haircut and that tight little ass. You can imagine that tight little ass on her. I bet you loved the thought of that little ass hypnotized. I bet you loved the thought of seeing her up on stage, totally hypnotized, thinking she was a lifeguard, doing whatever the hypnotist told her. That cute little body of hers totally hypnotized. I bet you’d think she was so hot hypnotized up there, wouldn’t you?” I asked him. I wasn’t playing with fire anymore, I had taken a flamethrower of jealousy and insecurity to a gas station.

“Yes, she would be so hot hypnotized” he agreed in a breathless pant, as he blew his load, I swear I thought his cum was going to hit the ceiling. I had never seen him so horny.

Horny over another woman!

It was all too much for me at that point. Insecurity, jealousy, and inebriation all mixed into one vile, bi-polarish mix. I yelled at him for jerking off to another woman and stormed out of the room. He tried to talk to me, but I just yelled at him more. It wasn’t a good look on my part. He eventually got mad at me for tricking him into the whole situation. That wasn’t unfair. We basically didn’t talk to each other for three days after that. I eventually apologized in a sarcastic kind of way. Tim being Tim let it go. He knows me, and even though I didn’t write some tearful poem, he knew my sarcastic comment meant I was sorry.

However, that was the last time we talked about any of his hypno stuff. I figured it was better if we just left all that alone. I knew he liked it, but I couldn’t get myself to go down that road anymore. With that said, that was all before this Football ticket fiasco and the 40th birthday fuck up. Desperate times require desperate measures. I had to do something hypno related. It was the only thing with enough kick to make this a memorable great birthday for my rock, for my partner, for my loving husband who I loved more than anything in the world.

I plugged my phone into the charger and sat on the bed in the hotel room. I searched Chicago to see if there was a stage show or something that night. It was a Monday night, so I didn’t have high hopes, and sure enough there was nothing. I did find a theater where a hypnotist was set to perform over the weekend, but that was like five days away, and my flight was late Tuesday night. Shit! That was it? I was feeling pretty hopeless at that point. Maybe I could cobble something together? Maybe take a pic outside the theater, maybe get somebody to take one of me coming off a stage or something? If I could get them to be “snapshotty” enough, maybe I could make it look like I actually went up on stage? It would have to do. Without much of a plan, I got freshened up and headed to the theater.

I eventually found the place. It was in a blah part of the city back out by O’Hare almost. A boring, regular looking theater in a boring regular part of the city. It was called the Regent theater or something forgettable. The theater was closed, but I could see some lights on inside. As I peered through the window, I also saw what looked to be a poster for the hypnosis stage show in the lobby. That would be a nice start to my fake news photo story. I started banging on the door.

Eventually, a hefty sort of guy came to the door. He had a buzz cut and a star wars related t-shirt on. That told me everything I needed to know about him. Standing on the other side of the glass door, he looked me up and down. I could tell he was quite interested to know why a hot woman was trying to get into this closed theater. Yes, I’m hot. I’m a down right smoke show for 38, but frankly I’m pretty damn good for any age. I might not be cute little 29 year old hypnotized Tina with the perky voice, but I’m fucking hot. I know it. Shit, I could pass for 30, and you know what, I am hotter than perky Tina.

Anyway, not surprisingly, I was able to charm my new chunky friend into letting me in. His name was Stan. I told him how my husband was really into hypnosis and that I wanted to take a picture in front of the poster. Sometimes the best story is the truth. Stan laughed and let me in. He was a nice guy. In fact, he even offered to take the picture for me. So there I was, standing in the theater in front of the poster of a hypnotist named Chicago HypnoJoe. Such a stupid fucking name. I was trying to decide whether to do the selfie duck lips, some sort of sultry look, or like a hands out in front of me zombie thing.

As I was going through this challenging decision in my head, another guy came out of the theater office. He was wearing a Seattle Seahawks jersey, Tim’s team. I’ve always found it odd when grown men wear jerseys of sports players. I find it super dorky. He seemed friendly and harmless enough though. I didn’t love the idea of being in a strange place in a city that wasn’t mine, while no one knew where I was with two men I didn’t know. However, I had mace with me, and these too nerds didn’t strike me as the type to start any trouble. I could tell by the way they were nervously excited around me. It was like the popular girl just came and sat at their lunch table. (FYI, I was a popular girl in high school)

The smiling Seahawks jersey guy finally spoke. “Wow. A picture in front of the poster, I love it. Are you a fan of my show?”

“Are you Chicago Hypno Joe?” I asked. I guess it was obvious that he was, but whatever. God, that name sounded even dumber when said aloud.

“Well, yes, but when I am not on stage people just call me Joey.” He said with a smile as he extended his hand. He had a kind of weak hand shake. Maybe he didn’t shake my hand to hard because I’m a girl, who knows, always hard to tell… He didn’t seem too hypnotic either. Friendly and dorky, but not hypnotic and powerful. My guess was his show kind of sucked.

“Well, I’m not a fan, but my husband is. Well, not of you, but of… the genre” I said. Did that sound mean? I was so desperately trying not to be snarky. There was a good chance these guys could help me in some way.

“Ahh, so you are looking to take a picture in front of the poster. Tell him you went to the show, and got hypnotized. Maybe add in some details that he’d… find fun?” he said. My creepo-meter is very sensitive, and surprisingly, this guy did not say that in a creepy way, even though he was asking if I was taking a picture that was meant to give my hubby a boner.

“Yeah, actually. That’s it.” I admitted, but not sheepishly. I don’t embarrass easily.

“Ok, look, that’s ok. I’ve actually seen it before. It’s kind of a thing.”

“Holy shit. Really? I always thought my husband was the only weirdo who was into this nonsense!” I said, and immediately realized that was not a very sensitive sentence. Oops.

Joey was cool about it again. He gave a warm laugh. “I know, it is totally weird. Not that your guy is weird. You know what I mean. He’s not alone.”

“I will say, you and my husband Tim would get along great. He’s a huge Seahawks fan. In fact, I got him tickets to the game tonight. We live in Maryland.” I told him.

“Wow, he’s going to have a blast!” Joey said.

“Well, he would have, except I forgot to leave the tickets at the house. I accidently brought them with me.” I admitted.

“Ahh, so you are trying to make amends with the… fun… pics. There was no show tonight, so you’re going for the pic with the poster” he intuitively gathered, although again surprisingly not creepy, given the subject matter.

“Trying to make some lemonade, you know?” I said.

“Look. I’ll tell you what, are you still in Chicago in the morning? If you want, we could take some pics on the actual stage. We could even shoot a quick clip with the actual music from the show. I’ll even pull out a gold pocket watch, a favorite for fans or the genre. We can get some better pics. I’d say we could do it now, but… well I want to catch the Seahawks game.”

Meeting some strange guy to take sexy (albeit oddly sexy) pics of me to send to my husband sounds like a super bad idea when you say it in sentence form, but after sizing Joey and Stan up and deeming them quite dorky and harmless, I took him up on his offer. Besides, the Seahawks connection was the universe telling me this was all meant to be right? Most of all, I really fucked up this birthday thing, and some pics in front of a poster was unlikely to make it all ok. A quick video clip sent to his phone of me on a real hypno stage, with a pocket watch waving in front of my face? Now that just might work. Boy, he’d really hit the ceiling with his cum with that video. Plus, they’d be sent to him on his actual birthday, which was the next day.

I went back to the hotel, and I was feeling pretty good about the whole thing. I actually even got a good night’s sleep. I purposefully didn’t call or text Tim. I wanted it to seem like I was “out” in the evening. When I woke up the next morning, I checked my e-mail and the score of the Seahawks game. They had beaten the Ravens in overtime on a last minute field goal. It would have been an amazing game to go. Shit! Ok, I knew I had to really make this hypno photo shoot thing work really well now.

I got up and went to the fitness center. I ran and worked out. That always made me feel good inside and out. After that, I took a long shower, and did my make up really well. I didn’t have a sexy dress with me or anything, I only had business attire. I guess that would make more sense for the story anyway though, right? Wouldn’t I have gone out with clients directly from the meeting? Dinner would turn into drinks, maybe we stumbled into a comedy club?

The uber dropped me off at the Regent Theater, and I knocked on the door. Stan came up and unlocked it. Now he was in a Green Arrow T-shirt. Seriously dude? Do you ever want to get to second base with a girl? Broadcasting that you both A. Love superheroes and B. watch the CWB... Well, not a good look Stanley my boy.

Stanley lead me into the main theater where the stage was set up. It was all a pretty typical set up from what I’ve seen of this stuff. There were about twelve chairs set up on the stage. A spiral design was painted on the back wall. God, Tim would be having heart palpitations to even see me walking on this stage right now.

Joey came out to greet us. He had on a big #12 Seahawks sweatshirt, with an embroidered super bowl trophy from the year they won on the back. He also had on a Seahawks hat. The only men over age 11 who should dress like that are coaches of the actual team. God, we were quite the odd trio. Stan and Joey in their superhero and superfan gear, while I’m in a Ann Taylor business suit and a crystal fox fur coat. It was like the Big Bang Theory come to life.

Joey chatted with me a little bit about the game. He said what an incredible ending it was, and how it will go down as one of his top ten favorite Seahawks wins of all time. Blah blah blah. I was still sore about the ticket mess up, so I didn’t want to dwell on what a magical moment it was for the fans. Luckily, he soon got down to business, asking Stan to go to the control booth and put on the “usual induction lighting and music”

Stan went up in the booth and switched everything on. The lighting was just right, and I took note that it wouldn’t be too harsh for the volunteers on stage. The music was one of those starry, new age kind of tunes that didn’t seem to have a start or end to the song.

He invited me to sit in one of the chairs in the middle of the stage. He offered to take my coat and my phone, so I handed both to him, unlocking the phone first so it could be used for photos or video. Stan came back from the control room and Joey handed him my phone. He was going to be our photographer for the morning.

“So, before we begin, I often ask my subjects if there are any habits or phobias they’d like me to help them with?” Joey said.

“Well, I’m not really going to be hypnotized” I pointed out.

“Sure.” Joey said, not arguing. “But just in case?” he added. I could tell he thought he was really hot shit. Like, ‘oh, I’ve seen people try to resist Chicago Hypno Joe before. No one can, even though my name is so stupid.

However, this was not the time for me to be a sarcastic pain in the ass. I had to answer and be polite. This time tomorrow, I’d be back with Tim after he received his kick ass birthday gift. We’d fuck like crazy and he’d really forget about the stupid Seahawks and the top 10 best win ever that he missed. This was for Tim.

I had to indulge Joey for the time being. “Well, I hate flying, even though I have to do it a lot for work. Like right now, I wish I would just wake up when we get to our destination.” I said. It was the truth, and it sounded like the kind of thing Joey wanted to hear.

“Perfect, that’s perfect” he said, confirming my theory. “Ok Erica, let’s begin.” He said to me. Was there a change in the tone of his voice?

“Now Erica, I want you to get comfortable. Relax back in your chair and look steadily at the beautiful golden watch, as you listen only to the sound of my voice.” He said.

Yup, there was definitely a change in the tone of his voice. This was definitely his ‘show’ voice. It made more sense actually, this kind of voice could get people under. His regular one… not so much.

He definitely had good timing and cadence though, I’ll give him that. He was also a pro with the watch. He knew how to spin it so smoothly, working perfectly with the stage lighting to make sure the watch reflected the spotlight and flashed in just the right way. He had picked good music too, it worked well with the whole vibe.

“Nothing else matters...except the watch...and my voice. With each and every breath you take Erica, you will become more and more relaxed. More and more at ease. More and more in tune with the power of my voice. Let every muscle of your body be completely at rest. You must keep your attention focused on the watch. Look steadily at the watch and do not blink. Watch the way the light flashes off it” he said. The music, his voice, the watch and the flashing was all starting to get to me. I couldn’t really let myself be hypnotized, right? I tried biting my lip to stop from getting too comfortable, but it was hard not to relax, to get caught in the sound of his voice.

“Everything is beginning to feel comfortable now. It's wonderful to relax and let everything else go. You have no cares. No concerns. None of the stresses of the last few days are with you now. There is just the desire to relax and listen to the sound of my voice A complete sense relaxation is washing over your body like a warm, soothing ocean wave. You are now completely warm and comfortable in your this space. Everything is very pleasant, warm and comfortable. There is no place you would rather be than right here, listening to my voice, watching the watch, falling into deep hypnosis for me……NOW!" he said with a snap of his fingers.

Everything went dark as I fell into deep hypnosis for him.

“Ladies and gentlemen, on behalf of United Airlines, we’d like to thank you for flying with us, and welcome to Baltimore” the voice on the speaker said.

I looked around me. I was on a plane. People were standing up and starting to get their bags out of the overhead bins. The flight was over. I looked out the window. Yup, it was BWI. Holy shit. I was “out” the whole flight! Lord Joseph actually hypnotized me! Wow. I felt great. So relaxed. I was home, I hadn’t stressed over the plane. I was ready to see Tim. This was great. Hypnosis was great. I actually loved it. I loved being hypnotized by Lord Joseph. Hell, maybe I’d take Tim to Chicago and let him see his whole fantasy live!

Where we live in Glenwood is really only about thirty five minutes from BWI. Granted, my flight back from Chicago had two connections (not that I remembered making either of them) so it was a little after midnight by the time that I was pulling in the garage. Hence, it was the day after Tim’s 40th birthday. But still, I felt like I was in good shape. He should have the video of me faking getting hypnotized, which turned into really getting hypnotized. Wait, was that video sent? Frankly, I wasn’t sure. Oddly, all the missing time and blank portion of my day didn’t make me anxious at all. I just felt refreshed, relaxed and happy.

That happy feeling definitely took a hit when I walked in the door to our home though. As I came in through the garage, I saw a light on in the kitchen. As I was taking off my boots, I called to Tim, but he didn’t answer. That was very odd. I didn’t even take off my coat, I just walked into the kitchen. There he was at the table with is head in his hands, a bottle of scotch in front of him. Tim wasn’t a drinker.  The stylish, but not bright enough decorative pendant light that I had picked for over the table was the only light in the room, casting a lot of shadows. I couldn’t see his face, but I could feel the weight of his emotions.

“Uh oh, thinking about Superbowl 49 again?” I quipped. Why did I always have to make stupid little jokes? I was worried about him.

“Why the fuck did you send that to me?” He said. Tim never swore. I swore. Tim never did. This wasn’t good.

Also, what did I send? I really had no clue. I would have thought it was the video of me getting hypnotized, but this certainly wasn’t the reaction I was expecting from that.

“I need some air” Tim huffed as he stormed out, stumbling on his way out. Oh my god, he was drunk. He left his phone on the table. I sat down and held it in my hand. I was afraid of what I was about to see. My hand trembled a bit, but I took a deep breath and entered in his passcode. I went to his text messages. There were three of them from me. All movie clips.

I pressed play on the first one. It was what I expected. There was me on the stage in the center chair, Lord Joseph in the chair next to me. Clearly filmed from where Stan had been standing. All seemed to be what I would have expected. I watched as Lord Joseph started expertly spinning that watch. I could hear the hypnotic music through Tim’s iphone speakers, as I could Lord Joseph’s majestic voice. I saw myself watching the watch in the video. The beautiful flashing of the wonderful watch. I saw the video version of myself bite my lip, trying not to slip into Lord Joseph’s hypnotic spell. Why had I resisted? All I wanted to do was watch the watch and listen to the sound of his voice. Relaxing. Feeling so …. Comfortable and relaxed…. Whoa. No! Can’t slip under again. Tim’s angry. Real life problems! Need to stay alert. I pressed stop on that video so that I could stay focused.

Ok. Phew. What was the next one? I opened it. Stan seemed to be standing in the same place to film. I however, was no longer sitting on my chair, I was now on Lord Joseph’s lap. My arms were around his neck. Ok, I could see how Tim wasn’t thrilled with this, especially considering how incredibly sexy Lord Joseph is.

“Tell me you are deeply hypnotized” he asked me in the video.

“I’m deeply hypnotized.” Video me responded. I was looking deep into his hypnotic eyes as I sat there on his lap.

“Tell me you love to be hypnotized.” He said. Video me repeated that I loved to be hypnotized. What was Tim’s problem with that? He should be loving this? I loved being hypnotized. Isn’t that what he wanted all along.

“Tell me you love to be hypnotized by me” he said.

“I love to be hypnotized by you” Video me responded. Well, of course I do. Lord Joseph is the world’s most powerful hypnotist, and I love to be hypnotized. This wasn’t hard to follow.

“Tell me you’ll always obey me” he said.

“I’ll always obey you” Video me answered. Again, he’s the worlds most powerful hypnotist. Lots of people must obey him. “Tell me I am the sexiest man you’ve ever known. I make you feel so sexy and submissive to my masculine hypnotic power.” He said. Video me repeated it all. Video Lord Joseph and Video me then went in for a long, passionate, French kiss.

Ok, I could see how Tim wasn’t supportive of that part.

God it was hot though. I couldn’t help but notice my pussy get a little wet as I watched us making out on that stage. Wait! No! Tim! Angry! Real life problems!

I stopped this video as well.

I was now pretty nervous about what I was going to see on the third video. Nervous about what was on it, what Tim saw, and how it would make me feel. My heart dropped when I hit play. The camera was still being held by Stan, Lord Joseph and I were still on the stage. However, I was naked, and he didn’t quite have pants on. I was on my knees in front of him, massaging his cock and balls with the fur of my crystal fox coat, which I held in my hands. Even though he was probably smaller than Tim, his dick just seemed so much more magnificient. I’m not sure what it was. I’ve never really been into cocks, I’m glad Tim has one, but it is not like I’ve ever lusted over it. But Lord Joseph’s… wow.

The Video me looked so focused on massaging him and stroking him with the fur. I looked so happy so content. So sexual. I felt my pussy moistening even more as I watched myself on Tim’s phone. It was then that Lord Joseph told me to suck his cock.

As I sat there at my dimly lit kitchen table, I actually gasped as I heard that. I had never, ever sucked a guy’s cock before. There was never even a chance. A girl like me didn’t have to. I was always in control of the relationship. Even with Tim, that was off the table.

Video Lord Joseph must have noticed how Video me was hesitating. He started describing how much I wanted to please him, how sexy it would be to suck his cock, how I was always to obey him, and how good it felt to serve him. How sexy it all was.

As I heard him describe all this on the video, I felt myself wanting so desperately to do it again. It was no surprise when I saw Video me hold his cock in the fur of my coat in my hands. I watched as Video me went closer to it, eventually licking his cock’s under side from the base to the tip and struggled to slide my full lips around the head and let it slide over my wet tongue. I knew with out a doubt that if he walked into this kitchen right now, I’d fall to my knees and do it again. Even if Tim was standing right there.

Video Lord Joseph’s cock was completely filling Video me’s mouth rubbing the inside of both of my cheeks as I slowly slid my hungry mouth up and down looking like I could feel each and every vein across my lips. I seemed to be becoming lost in lust as I began sucking for all I was worth and slobbering on this his dick like a slut. He pulled my hair so my head tilted back and I was looking up at him his hard dick still in my mouth. I looked so submissive, so under his control. It was so sexy.

There at the kitchen table, I held the phone in one hand as the other started playing with my pussy. As I watched Lord Joseph grip his dick with one hand while holding my hair with the other. He pulled out and I could see that I was breathing heavy, trying to catch my breath but also from the fact I seemed more turned on in that video than at any other point in my life. He started rubbing his cock all over my lips, tongue, and face then slapping my stuck out tongue. He started rubbing it across my puckered lips it full length reaching across my face. Video me loved it, I was desperate for him. I could feel the pleasure building between my legs as I fingered myself in our kitchen. I watched Video me open my mouth and take as much of him in as possible. He held my head and began fucking his cock in and out of my mouth until I saw it release a huge thick load of cum into my mouth then again and again until it was too much for me to swallow and it squeezed out of the corners of my mouth and ran down my chin and dripped onto my breasts. He was growling and he continued to fill my mouth. He pulled out a bit, but was still cumming. He finished shooting his load on my face. Video me loved it, I looked so happy to receive his spunk on my face. I started licking up all I could. When I had gotten most of it from my face and breasts, I started cleaning his cock with my mouth. It was so loving, so.. worshipful. I looked like such a slave to Lord Joseph, and that turned me on so much! So fucking sexy!

“Aaaaaaghhh” I grunted as I brought myself to orgasm. I actually masturbated at my kitchen table, in the middle of the night, all alone.

At least I thought I was all alone. After catching my breath, I became aware of Tim’s presence behind me. He must have re-entered the kitchen as I was watching the video.

“How could you?” he asked unsteadily. I could see the pain and hurt in his red, glossy eyes.

“Sweetie, I am so sorry!” I said, tears filling up in mine.

“You’ve never sucked my dick” he said. Not how Tim usually spoke, I could tell his was pretty drunk.

“I know sweetie, I’m so sorry. I went to the hypnotist for your birthday, to give you a sexy surprise after the trouble with the tickets. I didn’t realize at the time that he was the most powerful hypnotist in the world. I went under for him. So, so deep under for him. It’s just, well, it felt so good to be hypnotized, and I really, really wanted to please him, to obey him. It was just all I could think about, I’m so sorry!” I confessed in a whirl.

He didn’t say anything. Oh god, was he going to say something? I couldn’t take the hurt in his eyes, so I looked away. Looked down actually. Looked down and saw a giant bulge in his pants. Oh my god, he was turned on?

Time to test the theory. “I’m so sorry babe, but sitting there on that stage, watching that watch. I went so deep for him, and I loved it. The sound of his voice was so hypnotic. I would have robbed a bank if he told me to.” I said, my voice changing from sad to sexy.

I saw Tim swallow hard. He wasn’t moving, just standing there, staring at me. I wondered if he was trying to fight how turned on he was. If so, he was losing. I saw a bead of sweat running from his brow, despite the fact that it was like 62 degrees in the kitchen. I still had my crystal fox on for god’s sake.

It was such a touch and go moment for our sex life, for our relationship, and for our marriage. I could feel my heart beating rapidly. Tim was about six feet away from me. Looking him straight in the eye, I slipped onto my knees. A crooked finger beckoned him to come closer. Would he do it?

Three slow, but unsteady, steps answered my question. Now on the floor, I was face height with his crotch. Sensing no resistance, I freed the familiar organ and it sprung free. My face was now about a foot away from it, which was actually the closest proximity I had ever been to another man’s dick. Now with the glaring exception of Lord Joseph’s of course.

I could tell Tim was wondering if I was going to suck his cock too. Frankly, I had no intention. The situation with Lord Joseph was… different. I was hypnotized, I always obey Lord Joseph, he’s…. well its different. However, Tim was my husband, and I loved him so much. I wanted to atone for the ticket debacle, and the quasi-adultery. I decided to try a little trick. I just started lightly tickling the underside of his shaft with the tip of my finger nail, ever so lightly. I could tell from a stifled groan that he enjoyed it.

“Did you ever think you’d see me hypnotized Tim?”

“n-no” he stammered.

“I didn’t either. I thought I was too strong willed. But I went so deep Tim. Deeply, deeply hyp-“ I didn’t need to finish the sentence. Tim started cumming right there and then. I dodged the spurts,I didn’t want any of his cum to hit me. His load landed on the kitchen table.

We stayed in those positions silent for a moment as the reality of what had happened washed over us. We didn’t say another word as Tim stumbled over to the kitchen chair I had just been in. He didn’t even pull up his pants, he just closed his eyes and passed out.

“Happy Birthday Babe” I whispered, as I started to come to terms with what just happened.