#how much is changed when im sitting on the shoreline and youre in the ocean?

[inmirova]

spending the small hours of the night thinking about how hdb views the mere act of caring for him as inhuman.

[whiskeynwriting]

din thots/request idea i had today

you’ve been working with Din for a while, and you’ve grown quite fond of him and you suspect the mandalorian feels the same but you know he won’t make a move on you. He’s too stoic. Man of a few words. You’ve been dancing around each other, occasional touches, lingering gazes and all. You decide to take matters in your own hand because you’re a little brat, so you gradually do little mundane things to play with him, like being messier with your clothes, the strap on your tank tops falling down, no bra, etc. Mundane things that you know he’s gonna notice and drive him wild. One day you land on a little planet with lots of fresh water, so you decide to undress in front of him to bathe, making sure you look at him the whole time but making it very nonchalant and casual, keeping your usual cool and cold temper which drives him nuts

DO AS YOU PLEASE WITH MY THOTS ❤️‍🔥 im not a writer so I’m leaving these thots with you for a lil request idea🥺🥺🥺

Hun, I love this. I fell in love and ran away with this prompt and your ideas, I hope you like it <3

Are You Afraid?

Din Djarin x Female Reader

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1k Followers Celebration

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Word Count: 4.1k

Warnings: 18+ (minors DNI) angsty Mando, arguing, dirty talk, light choking, some hair pulling, somewhat rough sex, vaginal sex (the helmet stays on oof), mentions of Grogu (we love and miss the baby), and I think that’s it lol ◆

A/N: I hate to jump on the “I hate Din’s new ship” bandwagon, but I hate Din’s new ship lmao. So, in here, we’re gonna pretend the Razor Crest is still around. This fic also takes place after The Mandalorian season 2 finale.

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At this point, you’ve lost track of how many fights the two of you have gotten in. And it wasn’t just an everyday occurrence, it happened multiple times a day. Whether it was over who ate the last granola bar, who was currently in the shower, or who was snoring too loud, the two of you always found something to argue about.

Part of you supposes it’s due to your close quarters. Since the child left you and Din had been on the ship alone, with only the two of you to keep each other company. And usually, spending time with Din wasn’t bad. You didn’t always fight like this; he’d become quite irritable since the child left, still in mourning and honestly angry at the world. It’s not like he was dead, but he was gone, he was definitely gone. Before he left, though, you and Din were quite fond of each other. It got to the point where you genuinely thought you were seconds away from forming a true relationship. But when the child left, and Din got the dark saber, everything changed. He became so much colder, so much harder and rougher around the edges.

This is what you’re thinking about as you lay on the sand, rubbing your toes into the soft yet gritty texture of it. The warmth radiating from both the ground and above felt nice, the tropical breeze blowing by allowing you to breathe. There’s a vast ocean sitting before you, covering most of the planet, actually, and is more a tinted turquoise than pure blue. Glee Anselm, a world you’d never be to before, but one Din has frequented in the past. Covered with mainly small and isolated islands, it was the perfect place for the two of you to rest and rinse off. The Crest’s water tank was out and well, actually, you’d rather not get into it. You’d already fought about it enough earlier.

While the planet is covered in a wide variety of terrain, Din made sure to find a beach when docking the ship. He found an island big enough for the Crest to land on while still being too small to inhabit much life. The color of the sand is almost white, the water clear enough to see through to the bottom before it gets too deep. Trees scatter the small piece of land, as well, some nearing the shoreline and others casting off to form a small grove. It’s warm too, the sun hot though not powerful enough to burn your skin. And as you’re taking in the refreshing scenery, you decide it’s finally time to hop in. With a quick glance back at Din, you call his name.

He’s further behind you, still near the Crest. He’s taking apart and cleaning his weapons, off in his own mess of a world. The Mandalorian looks up at you upon hearing his name, only slightly regretting telling you it.

“Yeah?”

You jerk your head back in the direction of the ocean. “Can I get in?”

He sighs, groaning slightly and shaking his head as he returns to his weapons. “I don’t care what you do.”

Okay, so he’s still annoyed. Great. And besides, it’s not like you were asking permission to go in the water, you just wanted to know if there’s anything dangerous you should look out for. He is more familiar with this planet than you are. But fine, you’ll just have to go it alone.

“Are you just gonna sit there?” you sneer, turning back and twisting your face up at him as you begin to undress.

“What? You think I’m gonna look?” he snaps back, visor still trained on the metal piece he’s cleaning in his hand.

“I don’t know,” you continue on, provoking him further without even realizing it.

“Go do whatever the hell it is you want to do.” He finally shouts, “Just make sure you do it away from me.”

You roll your eyes, turning back toward the ocean. What a fucking drama queen. Grogu leaving has really gotten to him. But just because he was dealing with his son’s absence didn’t mean he had to take it out on you.

With a few quick movements, you’re in your underclothes, deciding that you no longer care if Din sees. And while he’s hell bent on not seeing you, on focusing on his current task, your naked body walking into the waves is almost impossible to avoid. His blood boils inside, certain that you’re testing him. Din tosses the piece of metal down into the sand, leaning forward and placing a hand on his knee, leaning on his other forearm as he now blatantly watches you. He wants to test you back.

When you turn around it’s hard to hide your shocked gasp. Din’s gaze is intense and unwavering; he said he wouldn’t look, that he didn’t care what you did. So, why is he now deliberating watching you swim naked through the water now? Maybe you’ve finally done it, maybe you’ve finally pushed his last button. You’ve finally gone far enough to fully entice him.

Your eyes meet the black line of his visor as you decide to step out, the slightly transparent material separating the windows to his soul from the rest of the world. They don’t move, remaining steady and watching you closely. It’s the first time he’s seen you so exposed, the first time he’s seen you completely naked before him. And he inhales a tight breath, remaining stoic in his appearance but slowly crumbling to pieces on the inside. It’s been so long since Din has been with a woman but in all honestly, that’s not the only thing that gets him going. It’s you. It makes him angry as hell to admit it, but he fucking wants you.

“Like what you see?” you tease, raising a brow with a sly smirk. “Thought you said you weren’t gonna look.”

He scoffs, doing his best to appear uninterested. “Not much to look at.”

“Yeah, right.” You laugh, continuing to approach him. “Tell that to the tent in your pants.”

Din’s head snaps down, annoyance and embarrassment rushing through him as he too sees his very obvious boner. He slaps his hands down on his thighs, pushing up and rising quickly from his seat.

“You just won’t stop, will you?”

“Stop what?” you ask, eyebrow once again raised. “I can’t help how attractive I am.”

“No but you can certainly help how bratty you are.” He immediately spits out in return, taking a broad step toward you.

“Oh…”

“What?”

“So, you think I’m attractive?”

“Look,” he huffs out, now stepping directly into your space. “I don’t need your fucking shit, okay? You do this every goddamn day.”

“Me?! Our fights are not just my fault!” you throw your arm out, gesturing angrily at who knows what. And suddenly, you’re both very aware that you’re completely naked, your breasts swinging slightly from your forceful motion. And Din’s eyeline immediately meets their movement.

“Yeah,” you scoff, “Not much to look at, huh? Looks like you can’t keep from looking at me. Just because you don’t know how to make a move and actually fuck doesn’t mean you need to take it out on me.”

You’re both more than aware that some of your frustration has been sexual. It’s kind of hard to get off when your roommate is only a few feet away, and in the same room, nonetheless. And with the two of you constantly fighting, it’s not like having sex was really an option, either. And while the two of you certainly weren’t doing anything remotely related to sex, you were leading each other on, in a sense. You’d started walking around the Crest in nothing but a tank top and boy shorts, your bras and even panties at times no where to be seen. His gaze has lingered a few times, well, more than a few. He watches you move, he always does, eyeing your body and the curves you display more and more every day.

“You need to watch your mouth.” He grumbles, voice dangerously low yet booming through the air.

“Yeah? Or what? You’ll actually fucking do something?” you taunt in return. You’re just sick of this, of the back and forth you two constantly have. You’ve had enough.

“You know, Mando, you sure talk one hell of a game for being so fucking insecure on the inside.”

The way you flinch surprises you both, his movements so quick you barely register them. In a few short seconds, you’re being hauled to the side by your arm, his grip firm and bruising on your skin. He shoves you toward him, stepping to the side and forcing you face-first against the side of the Crest.

“Din!” you shout in shock, gasping when you feel his leather-covered palms land on your ass.

He presses himself against you from behind, the coolness of his Beskar sending shivers across your heated skin. You can feel him sloppily fumbling with his belt behind you, and you now find your breaths increasing.

“Din, what’re you –”

And then, he’s shoving his fingers into your hair and yanking your head back. He leans in, pressing his helmet against your cheek and whispering hoarsely into your ear.

“Tell me you don’t want this.” He all but taunts. “Tell me, fucking tell me.”

“Mm…” you whimper out, squirming beneath his body’s weight.

“Tell me you haven’t thought about this as much as I have, that you haven’t wanted this since the fucking day we met.”

He’s breathing heavily, cuirass rising and falling behind you. You’re speechless, because you do want this. You have thought about this just as much as him, and there’s no way you can deny it now. Upon your continued silence, Din then speaks.

“That’s what I fucking thought.” He seethes, shoving your head forward and letting go of your hair.

You gasp when he releases himself, immediately rubbing his smooth head over your skin. He’s red and pulsing, already leaking, his precum having pooled over his tip the moment he saw you naked.

“Din…”

Saying his name comes so easy to you, and you’ve always wondered why. Maybe it’s because you say it so frequently when you’re by yourself at night, even though those times are rare.

“Are you…” he begins, groaning out behind you as he feels his erection throb. “Are you afraid of me?”

You furrow your brows – he’s never asked you a question like that before. You don’t know how to feel about it and at first, you’re not sure how to answer. So when you do, you do so hesitantly.

“No…”

Without warning he thrusts inside you, the sting painful alongside his incredible girth. His pelvis presses against your ass, his left hand laying flat over the side of the Crest with his other hand on your hip. He shouldn’t like your cry as much as he does.

“Maybe you should be.” he murmurs, a certain grit to his voice as he pulses in you from behind.

“Din…” you whine out, the noise now loud.

“Does it hurt?” he’s answered with another small yet high sound. “Or do you want more?”

“Fuck,” you whisper, eyes pinching shut.

“Tell. Me.” He demands, body pressing even further against you.

“I want, I want more.”

Before you’re even ready he’s retracting himself, immediately plunging back inside. It’s hurried and forceful, your eyes rolling from the intense power behind his thrusts. You’re thankful no one else is around, because the sharp noise of your act radiates loudly, sure to cause attention if others were near.

“Fuck,” he grunts out, both hands now holding onto your hips.

His breaths have picked up significantly, and it’s so strange to see him like this, to feel him like this. Usually, you’re never able to tell when he’s flustered, he never lets anyone see him like that. But now, you see, you can see nearly everything.

You giggle, dropping your head forward between your arms. “You seem flustered.”

He rolls his eyes; of course you decide to sass him now. And he sees your smile widen when he twitches inside.

“Of course, I’m flustered,” he spits back, your bratty persona always an irritant to him. “I just put my cock inside you.”

“Hm…” you try to hum but it comes out as stuttered breaths due to his thrusts, clenching around him and interested to see how much he’ll put up with.

“Stop.” He seethes, head snapping up and hand reaching for the back of your neck. He feels an incredible urge of dominance overtake him, now that he’s inside you and finally claiming you as his. His. Something he’s waited so long for, too fucking long for.

Your jaw drops, lips curling into an open-mouthed smirk at his quickness. He’s never touched you here before, another check on the boxes he’s ticking off today.

“You like teasing, don’t you?” he asks, voice incredibly low as he tilts his head.

He huffs out, heavily shaking his head as he stares down at your naked form.

“The way you looked at me…” he groans out, “Walking up to me like that… acting like that.”

“Like what?” you breathily respond, your head tilting back.

“Like it was nothing.” He growls, continuing his fervent thrusts. “You have such a cold temper.”

You let out a laugh. “Oh, I have a temper?”

“Hm,” he grunts, suddenly snapping his hips into yours instead of answering you with words.

“Fuck!” you quietly seethe, fingers now clawing at the ship before you.

“Yeah…” he drawls out, the smirk evident in his tone. “I think you do. And it drives me fucking crazy sometimes.”

“Sometimes?” you challenge, sighing out a laugh, body buzzing with bliss.

He immediately leans in, his helmet just inches from your face as he growls out, “Always.”

“Din…” you moan, head dropping forward and resting on the metal wall.

Shivers of pleasure vibrate through your core as he continues to smack his pelvis against you, his muscles flexing as he moves his body behind yours. His armor rubs along your skin, slightly pinching in some areas as pieces of Beskar occasionally cling against the adornments closest to it.

You’re trembling, and he can feel it, chuckling out when he kicks your feet apart and hears you cry out in response. He’s so much deeper now, his hands forcing you back to meet every one of his thrusts.

“Maker,” he hisses out, throwing his head back. “You’re so fucking tight.”

The hand he uses to shoot his gun, the hand he uses to throw daggers into his enemy’s hearts, the one that touches himself at night to the thought of you, slides up your side. It’s a motion that makes you sigh, this particular experience with him truly the thrill of a lifetime. He finds your right breast, immediately cupping and squeezing you in hand.

“Oh,”

The muscles along his shoulders and arms flex with excitement, his hips continuing to move, forcing his cock inside you at an increasingly rapid pace. He weighs your breast in his hand, eyes rolling back at your soft, plump curves. It’s a quick suck of air, the sudden sound he makes, his body trembling slightly due to not feeling another’s warmth in so long.

“You like this?” he then asks, his voice low and gravely before you. “Have you thought about this?”

“Mm…” you whine, inhaling a breath in an attempt to steady yourself. You release it quickly, nodding your head. “Mhm, yes. Yes…”

“You feel warm…” he groans, feeling his precum leak into your core. “You feel tight… are you nervous?”

“Yes,”

“Why?” he asks, picking up his pace. “Isn’t this what you want?”

You nod, but he shakes his head.

“Tell me.” He demands, more than aware of the game he’s playing. “I want to hear it.”

“Fuck, Din.”

“I said tell me.” He says again, angling his hips so he hits that spot just right. “You were big talk a few minutes ago. You need to learn how to respond.”

Din moves his head down closer to yours, his metal cheek resting against your naked one. He moves just below your ear, body almost curling into you, over you.

“Yes, yes I –”

Your head falls back on his shoulder, feeling your eyes roll back. You’re fluttering uncontrollably around him, feeling him take you so roughly and forcefully making your body shiver with pleasure. It’s sturdy and firm, the press of his physique against you. He’s so broad it drives you fucking mad, makes you feel wild and makes the place between your thighs ache. And your gasps and sighs increase the more he moves, his slow grabs turning into desperate paws. The drag of his member along your walls is debilitatingly pleasurable, so much so that you’re almost unable to hold yourself up.

“I love how strong you are,” you suddenly admit, heart beating at the thought of how things used to be, of how you wished you could’ve done this then. “How skilled you are.”

“I feel the same,” he instantly returns, making your heart flutter inside. “I like how you fight, fuck, you’re so fucking sexy when you fight.”

“Din…”

“Ner kih verd.” He says, the words coming out naturally, the nickname one you’re both used to.

“What, what does that…”

“My little warrior,” he grits out, unable to hold it back any longer.

Your heart beats with affection; you’d never known the meaning of that nickname. Suddenly, you hear him gasp out behind you, the high noise displaying his frustration.

“Ugh…uh…” he groans out, a multitude of expressions crossing his face as he continues sliding himself inside.

“What? What, baby?”

It feels incredibly odd to call him that while you’re practically fucking your frustrations out on one another. But what he says next is astonishing.

“I love you,” he grunts out. “I always fucking have. Always have.”

He continues hammering himself into you, fingers digging into your sides as his muscles exert themselves to the fullest extent. Incredible waves of pleasure continue to fill your being, walls throbbing around him and sucking him in deeper with every thrust. And behind the cover of his eyes Din watches you, wondering how you’re feeling inside. No matter how bratty you are, no matter how much you fight, he’ll always care about you. And besides, he knows you’re only acting like this to spur him on.

“F – fuck, Din! Oh my g – god,”

He’s grunting behind you, an animalistic sound you’ve never heard from this man. There’s been so much tension between the two of you, so much sexual frustration and genuine annoyance, it lights his body on fire, sending a wave of adrenaline through his limbs. And it feels amazing, unlike anything he’s ever felt before. He’s never had a relationship like this, one full of tension and angst that ends up with him inside the other. The only thing he thinks this comes close to is when he kills; he feels so powerful when he hunts, feels strong and skilled and dominant. And that’s how you make him feel, too.

“D – Din,” you choke out, the feeling of him repeatedly plunging inside almost too much. “I - I love you t-too. Fuck, I really do. I’ve always cared about you.”

“Maker,” he quietly grunts out, head swimming with overwhelming thoughts. “You feel fucking amazing.”

Your jaw drops, a smirk forming on your still-parted lips. He feels even better than you imagined he would be, his tip repeatedly punching against your most sensitive spot. All you had to do to see Din’s power and strength was see him walk down the street. The Mandalorian always came off menacing yet collected, sturdy yet quick. You’d wondered from the first moment you set eyes on him how it would feel to have him inside and exert every single muscle while fucking you.

“Oh… fuck. Yes, Din, yes. Please, please don’t stop.”

“I won’t stop, not until I’m done with you.” he grunts out. “Not until I’ve had my fill. Understand?”

To both his surprise and yours, you comply. “Yes, yes Din.”

“Look at you,” he responds, a taunting tone to his voice. “Being good for once. How does that feel?”

He throbs inside you, feeling the pulsation of your walls around him, guiding him in and doing your best to keep him there. You’re so warm and soft and inviting, something he hasn’t felt in years. Like even after he cums he knows he’ll want to stay inside you, to claim your body and declare it as his. He’s waited too long to do this.

“It feels good, s – so good, baby.” There’s that name again.

He almost can’t speak, his breaths so rough and forced. The feeling of his cock dragging along your walls satisfying the deepest parts of him. It’s incredibly fulfilling, finally taking you like this.

“Have you ever gotten it rough before, pretty girl?”

Din has never called you that before, and it makes you moan out his name. He’s growling in your ear as his hips continue to slap against your ass, as he continues to fill you with himself. You try to move back against him in time with his thrusts, but the weight of his body is too much. He has full control over you.

“Not…” you breathe out. “Not like this, holy fuck. Din, Din, you’re so deep.”

“Want it as deep as I can get.”

His muscles tense, twitching from the incredible exertion of his current act. Seeing you writhe beneath him makes his mind spin, makes him want even more.

You’re trying to think, you really are, but you honestly feel drunk. You’ve never been fucked like this in your entire life, never been fucked so roughly, never been manhandled so easily. Usually, you’re defiant towards everyone, but with Din, maybe you’re finally starting to let him back in.

“Ner nehutyc dala,” he grits out, punched out groans emanating from his throat. He can already feel his thrust beginning to falter, can already feel himself getting close. “My feisty girl.”

“You – yours?” you stutter out, body rocking from the force of his.

“Don’t you fucking get it?” he growls, hand returning to your hair and pulling your head back while he leans forward once again.

The edge of his helmet presses against your cheek, his low grunts and groans echoing in your ear. He’s pounding into you, pulsing with each forceful shove and loving every fucking minute of it.

“You’re mine, you pretty fucking thing. Mine.”

Something about the words makes your eyes roll back, an incredible satisfaction washing over you. Yes, yes, this is what you want. This is what you’ve wanted for so long.

“Shit,” he spits out, “I’m gonna cum, Maker, where do you want me? Huh? You want me inside?”

You nod hurriedly, pressing your forehead against the cool wall of the Crest. “Yes, yes Din. Please!”

He rubs firmly against you, grinding into you deep as he immediately spills inside. His hips jerk lightly, small gasps choking out through hoarse moans. His forehead then rests on your shoulder, his chest expanding with each deep breath of air.

In mere seconds, you feel it, Din’s hot cum flooding through you. You would’ve never imagined your first time together to be like this, would’ve never expected it to be so frustratingly rough. But honestly, you needed it, you both did. And something about the interaction makes the two of you feel some kind of connection, something even deeper than before. Something that started with anger now gifting the two of you with a promise for the future.

You think back to what Din said, or rather what he asked. You really aren’t afraid of him. He could be scary, sure, a terrifying hunter almost constantly stalking his prey, but you never felt that way. And especially not right now. The Mandalorian was the most menacing man you’d ever met; you’ve seen him kill in cold blood. But even when you were distant, you both knew betrayal was never on the other’s mind. You could still depend on each other even when faced with danger. There’s honestly nothing scarier than Din in this world, and when you’re friends with the predator… what do you have to be afraid of?

Thank you for reading <3

If you liked this fic, check out my Blurred Lines Series (;

[atsukashii]

heyyyyy im miley :) can you please do

MILEY X KUROO + SHE/HER + ☀️ + BLACK

thank you! i hope you have a nice day

( i loved the other kuroo one you did. it was so cute ^-^)

looking only directly at you so you don't go away

✘ you're absolutely the kind of person who loves spontaneous adventures, even more when your boyfriend is by your side. But when it comes knocking at 1am - you love them a whole lot less.

✘ GENRE: fluff

✘ WARNINGS: none

✘ WORD COUNT: 1.4k

When you had heard your phone vibrating next to your bed when the sky was still dark out, you had not expected to see twenty six missed texts from your boyfriend. Expecting the worst, you immediately sit up in bed with a thundering heart, unlocking the screen.

[1:33am] FROM: KUROO Sleeping beauty, wake up please

[1:33am] FROM: KUROO Seriously, we’ve got places to be gorgeous

[1:34am] FROM: KUROO I’m about to start tossing rocks at your window.

A small thunk noise echoes through your room, and your head whips towards the window. You wait a moment, brows furrowed in somewhat confusion and disbelief. Surely he isn’t… Only a few seconds later there’s another noise and you slip from your warm bed and move to the window, yanking it open and glaring at the person outside.

“I know that romance movies make being woken up by your hot boyfriend in the middle of the night as super romantic, but I can tell you right now; it’s not.” You whisper in a hiss, leaning your forearms on your windowsill.

“Maybe it’s romantic for me,” Kuroo’s hazel eyes flash in the dimmed lighting coming from the lamps on the street. His teasing grin has butterflies fluttering gently in your stomach, and as much as you think that the gesture is adorable coming from him. “And you think I'm hot?” That smile also makes you want to throttle him.

“You’re standing in Mr Sato’s vegetable garden.” You point out, only smiling once Kuroo looks down at his feet, muttering a brief curse under his breath, knowing full well just how protective your elderly downstairs neighbour is of his garden.

“Well if you hurry up and climb out your window to join me on our adventure, I can stop standing on carrots.” He replies back, wagging his brows at you in encouragement. The thought of climbing out your window and dropping a storey to the ground makes you laugh and instead you grip the window and shoot your boyfriend a look.

“I’ll take the stairs thanks.” Is all you say before closing the window and locking it. Not giving Kuroo a second glance, you quickly scurry around the room, changing into some jeans, grabbing a thick jacket. Quietly sneaking down the internal staircase of your complex, you almost run out of the entrance to not wake up your neighbours. It’s not until you see Kuroo leaning up against the fence of your building do you finally relax.

“I hate you.” You sigh, breathing into your hands, trying to bring heat into them, but the October chill has them getting colder by the second.

“You love me.” Kuroo corrects, reaching out and grabbing one of your hands, entwining his fingers with yours before shoving them both into his jacket pocket. The gesture makes you smile, and he sees it before you can try to hide it and smirks at you, but you honestly don’t care.

“Alright Casanova, pray tell, why the hell are you dragging me out of bed in the middle of the night?” You finally ask, following your boyfriend to god knows where as he starts you both down the footpath.

“Can’t tell you, it’s a secret.” He shoots you a wink with his reply, causing you to roll your eyes. Whoever once said if you roll your eyes too much they’ll fall out of your head was a liar, considering it was a constant gesture of love between you both, and your face was still intact. It’s only after walking in comfortable silence down the main street of your town, smothering a yawn in your shoulder that you finally recognise where you're going. Your idea is cemented when Kuroo rocks to a stop outside the train station.

“I didn’t bring my wallet.” You realise, cursing at your stupidity.

“I know, don’t worry sweetheart.” Shaking his wallet in the sky for good measure, you both get into the station and board an awaiting train, the whole time, you give up trying to figure out where you’re going as sleep once again tugs at your consciousness.

When you finally sit down on the cushioned bench seats, you immediately lean your weight into your boyfriend.

“Was I supposed to bring clothes?” You ask, slightly concerned to be unprepared for something like this. Although, since dating Kuroo, doing sporadic spontaneous things such as this became a common occurrence, but you always had a somewhat plan on where you were going. This was the first time you’d been left out of the loop until the last minute.

“Nope.” He responds with a smile as you lay your head on his shoulder. You eye his backpack sitting on his lap that you hadn’t noticed before, and he gently flicks your cheek.

“Stop stressing about it and just sleep. I’ll wake you up when we’re there.” He whispers, pressing his face to the top of your head and kissing your crown.

“Okay,” you get out before closing your eyes and letting Kuroo’s warmth bleed into you, keeping out the cold and helping sleep tug at your subconscious.

You’re not sure how long you sleep for, as when your boyfriend finally shakes you awake, it’s still dark out. Blindly, you take the backpack that Kuroo offers you before slipping it onto your shoulders.

“Up you go,” Kuroo says, his back facing you and a grin tossed over his shoulder.

You have absolutely no idea where you are either. As you walk through a small coastal town, your head resting on his shoulder, all you can make out is weathered old styled homes and storefronts, with stone streets and the smell of salt in the air.

If you weren’t half asleep, you might have picked it up earlier, but it takes you literally staring at the beach to realise Kuroo has brought you to the ocean. With furrowed brows, you get off your boyfriend’s back and step around him, letting the gentle ocean breeze hit you at full force. Why had he done this? You loved the ocean, and the fact that you didn’t live near it was a downer, but you had both made time to holiday to any beachfront town you could find when you had time. So why now?

He must see the question in your gaze, because Kuroo simply grabs your hand and pulls you onto the sand. “Come on,” he smiles, and you’re so confused, shocked and overwhelmed that you just follow him onto the beach. Dragging you down towards the shoreline, he suddenly sits on the sand and reaches up, gripping your hips and bringing you down with him.

“Kuroo-”

“Wait, just watch.” His voice gently brushes against your ear as you both stare at the ocean. His chest flush against your back, with his arms comfortably wrapped around your stomach, keeping you close and warm, you both sit in silence waiting for what you're not sure.

But then you see it. At first it's an odd light that you think as a trick of your eyes, but then as seconds slip by and dark blue sky bleeds to orange and yellows do you inhale sharply. You want to glance at the time, but you already know it's morning, and you’re witnessing the sunrise. Something throbs gently in your chest, as if someone is tugging on a rib, and you lean back into your boyfriend for support. Kuroo squeezes you for a moment before withdrawing an arm to fiddle with his backpack. Your eyes don’t move from the light show in front of you until you feel both of Kuroo’s arms back around your stomach.

“I’ll be the first person you see every time.” He whispers the words he’d said when you were just kids, and you finally look down to his hands to see a small cupcake. Your heart lurches into your throat as you take in the single candle and although it's unlit, the sentiment doesn’t go past you. Turning your head slightly, so overwhelmed that you can’t stop the stray tear from slipping by. There’s so much love radiating between you both and you press your hand to his chest, not knowing how to say just how happy he makes you. Not knowing how to emphasise how much you love him, and there will never be a way to properly articulate it either. But Kuroo knows, because he nods, his own eyes blinking rapidly as they well, then places a chaste kiss on your lips. One that has enough love in the small action alone, you feel it in the depths of your bones and soul.

“Happy birthday gorgeous.”

a/n: i'm living for these hq asks tbh! and even tho this is a self ship post, i still want kuroo to do this with me pls

✘ EVENT STATUS : CLOSED  ✘

[haku-moved]

for @endlessparadox07

(dude im so sorry this took so long i have no one but myself to blame)

dazatsu prompts - moonlit and ocean 

moonlit

dazai hated stakeouts with a passion.

they lasted long, boring hours and only a fraction of the time they were successful. dazai would always complain about how he had nothing to do at the office, (and ignore kunikida’s scolds about how he could do something dumb like tend to his stacks of paperwork) but he quickly ate his words during stakeouts when he counted the number of other things he could be doing. getting drunk, rewatching his favorite movies, pranking chuuya; so many things that he wasn’t allowed to do crossed his mind.

ah well. this stakeout wasn’t absolutely terrible.

atsushi was with dazai this time.

atsushi made feel dazai safe with letting his guard down. sometimes, he didn’t even realize it. his subordinate was just so easy to talk to. their conversations just flowed so easily, topics ranging from philosophy about the human will to a great book one of them finished the other day. atsushi would let you rave about your favorite interests for hours without belittling you for a second, something dazai wasn’t familiar with after years of being told that just the thought of being happy was something worthless.

maybe that’s the reason why they were having a conversation about how much coffee sucks at one am inside a warehouse together.

well, it was less of a conversation and more of atsushi ranting while dazai pretended to listen.

don’t get him wrong, dazai was not paying attention to atsushi because he found the topic or atsushi boring, but rather, he was too laser focused on how beautiful atsushi looked underneath the moonlight.

sitting on the second floor of the warehouse, there was a large window right behind them, similar to the one where atsushi found the truth about the tiger so many months ago. with the full moon out, the entire area was illuminated by a beautiful blue glow. but none of it compared to how beautiful his atsushi was.

the light made it looked like atsushi was glowing. his silver hair and white shirt were tinted a soft blue. because of his sitting position, the moonlight would shine directly into his sunset eyes, and dazai could swear that he saw the moon in them.

but the best part by far had to be atsushi’s lips. a cute pink, and shinier thanks to some lip gloss he put on. god, they looked so perfect, so kissable—

“and the smell of coffee is just so gro-mmph!”

atsushi, too focused on his hatred for coffee rant, didn’t even realize that dazai was slowly leaning forward, until a hand was cupping his cheek and lips were on his. after getting over the shock, he returned the sudden gesture. he could feel dazai smile against him, and could hear a little laugh as they pulled away.

“w-what was that for?”

another little laugh.

“sorry, it’s just hard to pay attention when you look so pretty.”

-

-

ocean

“atsushi-kun, are you alright?”

dazai’s sudden voice startled atsushi so much that he dropped his book out of his hands, letting it fall down onto the beach towel below him. atsushi turned to see his boyfriend wearing crab swim trunks and a blue swim shirt (while still wearing his bandages), and holding an inflatable swim ring under his arm. dazai let out out a little chuckle as he bent down to pick the book up.

“sorry, i must have scared you,” he apologized, giving the book back.

“no, no, you’re alright,” atsushi responded as he set book down in his lap, “i wasn’t paying much attention to it in the first place. anyways, what was your question?”

dazai sat down on his own beach towel beside atsushi’s, putting the swim ring down beside him. “you’ve just been looking so nervous and worried ever since we got here. plus, you won’t let me out of your sight unless it’s to use the bathroom,” when his neutral expression quickly changed into his trademark teasing smile, atsushi was already backing away, “are you afraid that i’ll spot a beautiful woman and ask her to join me in a double suicide? sorry atsushi-kun, my heart belongs to you and you only.”

the sudden red that fon atsushi’s cheeks definitely wasn’t caused by the heat. it made dazai chuckle, which then became a full blown laugh as atsushi tried his best to form a sentence, but all that came out of his mouth were just sputters. eventually, atsushi managed to get a hold of himself to speak.

“no, i.... i just fear that you might try to drown yourself if i’m not around.”

atsushi knew that he shouldn’t be that worried. dazai hadn’t tried to take his life in almost a year, and his jokes about the subject became less and less frequent, so much so that some were convinced that he had finally stopped wanting to die all together. but until dazai looked him in the eyes, tore down all his walls, and said that he would never try or even think about suicide ever again, atsushi wouldn’t be convinced.

atsushi listened to the sounds around him. the other visitors laughing and having fun, — something he should be doing instead of worrying about his boyfriend dying — the waves washing onto the shoreline, the birds flying above.

somehow, it all felt too quiet. like he was somehow still alone.

“sorry, i know i ruined the mood and- mmph!” hands were on his face, he was getting closer to dazai, and suddenly there was no gap between them. it all happened so fast for atsushi, by the time he got his bearings, dazai was already pulling away.

atsushi felt dazai’s thumb and forefinger hold his chin. his head was titled upwards, and he and dazai locked eyes.

“why would i want to kill myself,” dazai stopped to give atsushi a quick kiss, before pulling back and smiling.

“...when my reason to live is right here?

[wordsbydorothy]

“You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and he won’t tell you he loves you, but he loves you. And you feel like you’ve done something terrible, like robbed a liquor store, or swallowed pills, or shoveled yourself a grave in the dirt, and you’re tired. You’re in a car with a beautiful boy, and you’re trying not to tell him that you love him, and you’re trying to choke down the feeling, and you’re trembling, but he reaches over and he touches you, like a prayer for which no words exist, and you feel your heart taking root in your body, like you’ve discovered something you don’t even have a name for.”

-          Stanza 24: You Are Jeff by Richard Siken

Morning Silence

Chris’ parent’s CRV had that distinct old car scent. It was a mix of Wendy’s fries that rolled under the seat, spilled drinks and sports bags that had accumulated over the years. I leaned the chair back, pulling my feet up to my chest. It was too late for us to be sitting on the Western Esplanade. Two other cars were in the lot, but too far for us to be concerned. In the distance, the light thud of bass from Arawak Cay whispered in my eardrums. I could taste the salt in the ear, but my eyes were focused on the way the ocean battered the shoreline. The waves were rough, hitting the sand over and over.

Three weeks ago I flew back from Atlanta to visit my family. For my own mental health’s sake, I made the decision to stay at a hotel. I loved my family but being alone taught me that the way my family interacted with me only stressed me out. My first night, I ate at hotel’s ramen restaurant, too afraid to walk onto the streets, mostly out of fear that I’d see someone I knew. It was too early. I needed to get settled first. The restaurant was mostly quiet. I saw in a corner, watching stray tourists walking past – aware that I too could now be considered a tourist.

“You straight?” The waiters voice pulled me out of my stare.

I nodded. “Yeah I straight.”

“Une been home in a minute, I could tell,” he laughed.

“That obvious?”

He raised one eyebrow as he poured more sake into my glass and walked away. Pulling out my notepad, I doodled for a moment, biting into an eggroll when I remembered I needed to eat. I was deep in sketching when an all too familiar voice echoed down the hall. I paused, knowing it was too late to pay my bill and escape, so I sat still, hoping I’d blend in with the wall.

The waiter seated Chris and his family directly across from me, but on the opposite side of the restaurant. His sister’s laugh sounded the same as I remembered. I sketched for a moment, letting my hair fall into my face - an attempt to hide it but curiosity got the best of me. I looked. He looked back.

“You sure you good.” The waiter was next to me suddenly. He looked at me, then looked at them, then back at me.

“You know what, this een my business,” he said, leaving the bill on the table. I placed my card on top of it. It was my escape ticket, but I was too afraid to leave. So I sat. The waiter came and took my card but said nothing.  When he brought it back, I stopped him.

“Is there another way out of here?” I asked.

He looked curious for a moment. His eyes seemed to be in search of a story, but it was clear he wasn’t going to ask.

“No, I’m sorry,” he said. “You have a good night ma’am, don’t do nothing too crazy ya hear.”

Closing my sketchbook, I took a deep breath and stood up, making my way towards the exit. As the gap between myself and his table started to close, I looked up once more. His eyes met mine and smiled this time.

“Alyssa,” he waved. His parents and siblings turned. Out the corner of my eye I saw the waiter pour himself a drink.

“Hi,” I whispered. To be honest, I wasn’t even sure I said it. He got up, walking towards me and embraced me, but I couldn’t move. I could barely breathe. He pulled back, looking at me for a moment then took my hand and pulled me towards his parents. When we got close enough he let go, my hand flying into my back pocket.

“Good evening,” I half smiled.

“Mom, Dad, this is my friend Alyssa,” he said. I knew them already, but they didn’t know me. His brother and sister stared in awe.

“Nice to meet you,” his mom said. “Where did you guys meet?”

“Church,” his sister coughed. He ignored her.

“We used to work together at a firm in Atlanta,” he said.

“So we lying now,” his brother mumbled. He ignored that too.

Chris’ brother and sister knew the full story. For the most part, they took my side. His sister called him out when we were younger for not letting me meet their parents. His brother ignored him when he ghosted me. To some extent, I knew they liked me, but sibling loyalty was a boundary I refused to get in between.

“So you’re visiting,” his dad asked.

“No sir,” I answered. “I’m from here.”

“Oh,” he said. “Well it was nice to meet you.”

I nodded. In the corner the waiter was watching, shaking his head.

“You all have a good night,” I said, backing away. His father had gone back to eating, but his mom looked at me like she saw everything I was feeling. I turned quickly, walking towards the exit when I heard footsteps behind me and a hand grab my wrist.

“Wait,” Chris said.

“For what,” I mumbled.

“I- do you want to get drinks tonight? After I drop them home?”

“Don’t fucking do it,” the voice of the waiter called out.

I stared at him for a moment, about to turn away.

“Room 1172” I mumbled.

“Well Muddafuck,” I heard the waiter say as I turned the corner to walk back to my room.

------

Last winter at the bar, we both agreed we would stay friends for a while. We went out and got drinks, we shopped together, ran the Beltline together in the mornings. Our friendship felt like it was growing into something real. But suddenly, he stopped answering texts. The silence came back and once again, it was just me, my cat and the Atlanta Winter.

It was 2:30am when he knocked on the door. I curled up on the chair unable to sleep when the sharp sound startled me.

“It’s me.” The text lit up my phone. I wanted to text back something snarky, something that said how annoyed I was with him disappearing on me. But there was something about the morning silence that advised against it.

The bright light from the hall felt blinding as I opened the door. He looked at me, his locs in a bun on top of his head, a bottle of whiskey in his hand.

“Let’s go,” he said.

“Where?”

“You’ll see,” he answered.

I didn’t change. Walking through the hotel in a sports bra and some shorts felt strange, but at the same time it didn’t. His car was parked in front. The valet guys didn’t question or charge him, but I felt their eyes on me. I pulled my hair out of my bun to hide my face again, to avoid their boring eyes.

“Dis gyal can’t be serious,” I heard as the hotel doors opened again. Turning, I looked into the eyes of the waiter and burst out laughing, the sound echoing against the walls. It was a strange sound to hear early in the morning. He waved at me dismissively and I got in the car, thinking to myself that I really couldn’t be serious at all.

“What was that about,” Chris asked.

“Inside joke,” I said. He stared at me for a moment, then put the car in drive. Nassau at night was peaceful, atleast to the untrained eye. If you listened closely you’d hear sirens in the distant, the late night cruise ship pulling out of the dock, the honk from a driver upset at a pedestrian walking in the road or the steady thud of the night joggers. We passed Go Slow Bend and I stared out to sea. It had always been one of my favorite spots. There was something about the way it was beautiful but could be so deadly that attracted me to it time after time.

He pulled into Western Esplanade and rolled down the windows. He got out the car and I watched him, unsure of what he was doing. Pulling open the trunk I heard the sound of ice clink against a metal cup. When he came back, he passed me a cup that said Calvary Bible on it. I listened as the ice clinked against it, thinking back to memories I had of the place. It almost felt sacrilegious drinking whiskey from it. Then I thought of the way the youth leaders called me a whore. The way the people I called friends turned against me. The way church leaders told me I was ruining the men of the church. But by men they meant Chris.

“Do you not… drink whiskey anymore?”

“No, I do,” I said. “I’m just … thinking.”

“Of what?” he asked.

“Calvary Bible,” I answered.

“Oh,” his voice was light then, like he was tiptoeing into a room he knew he wasn’t supposed to be in.

We sat there in silence for a long while, staring at the ocean, the stars, anything but each other. The two cars in the lot left and then it was just us.

“You have a habit of ruining me,” I said. The whiskey had found a home in my veins, and I found strength in it.

“I- what?”

“At Calvary. You knew the power you had, and you let people say what they wanted. You made me the bad guy, and never once corrected your friends,”

“Im so-“ he started but I cut it.

“I’m not done,” I said. “You took so much from me and couldn’t stand up for me. Your parents don’t know me but all your girlfriends before and after me met them. Your best friend made my life a living hell. Then you disappeared. Not once, not twice, but three times. You promised me you wouldn’t leave this time.”

He was quiet then.

“You promised,” I whispered.

I chugged the rest of the whiskey then and got out the car, tossing the cup into the ocean. The waves pushed it against the sea wall and it clanged. Against the nights silence it was loud, echoing down the beach. I felt it in my bones, that echo. It felt like dragging nails down a chalkboard. So I screamed. I screamed against the waves crashing the shore. I screamed because I was in pain and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. Then I turned, tears in my eyes and sat down in the car.

We were quiet then. Everything was. The ocean went still. The light thud from Arawak Cay had stopped. The sound of the windows going up startled me. Then his hand was on my knee. I stared at it, not sure what to think. So the whiskey thought for me. I pulled myself over the passenger seat and sat in his lap. Pulling his cup out of his hand and placing it in the cup holder, I looked at him. I looked at the man I knew I loved but shouldn’t. Reaching over, I cracked the window slightly then put my hand against his heart.

“I don’t want you to feel the way I feel, it would ruin you” I said. “This pain, it would kill you.”

Pressing my lips against his, I didn’t let myself think, I just let it happen. It was the only way he could understand what I felt. This was the only way to express the anguish that had made a home in my heart. First kisses turned to last kisses. I was present in my skin but watching myself simultaneously. For a moment it seemed there was no end, just a means for us to explain the way the words we could no longer say. When we finished he was in tears. They fell down his face like a torrential rain. He reached to cup my face, but I pulled away, shifting back to the passenger seat.

He does not move. He lies where he has fallen, and I stare at the orange light creeping up along the horizon.

- to love a church boy is to break your heart

[rox-the-proxy]

Together

Waking up again in the realm of light, back in the reality he was supposed to be in, Sora had imagined it was going to be a little more dramatic. Hell, maybe even a little more painful then what he was currently feeling. But it was nothing like that. He woke up to the sight of a clear blue sky, a cool breeze, the sound of ocean waves, and laying on white sand that was all to familiar. For the moment, the blue eyed male didn't care for that as he scrambled to his feet, his eyes desperately searching for something, no, for someone. Soon he found himself running along the shoreline, checking the cove, the secret place, the small shack; nothing. There was nothing, there was no one else.

Had....had Vanitas not returned with him? Had he simply stayed back in the other reality? Or had he returned, woke up before he did and left? No, Sora didn't want to believe that is what Vanitas had done. Sora had sworen he would always be by his side even after the game. So where was the raven haired male? Fear started to set in. Fear, worry, sadness, something had happened, he had to have gone somewhere right? Sora honestly in that moment had no idea what to do, but the sound of splashing caught his attention, turning around to face the shoreline he couldn't help the smile that broke onto his face when he saw a all to familiar golden eyed male crawling up the shore. Soon enough, Sora found himself running over to the raven, who was now sitting on his knees, allowing the water to lap at his entire lower half as he breathed slowly.

By the time Vanitas looked up, he found himself being tackled back into the water, he didn't struggle for a moment, simply because he didn't want to drown, but he was quickly yanked up to his feet and dragged further up the beach. It was there on the warm sand where he found himself enveloped in the all to familiar arms of his partner. Vanitas was stunned for a moment, unsure of what was happening, after all, he hadn't been expecting to wake up being thrown into a damn ocean. But he was and the swim back to shore took longer then what he would have liked. Still, when he reached it and stopped to take a breather he found himself being tackled then dragged up to the beach. He did panic for a moment, as his brain hadn't caught up with what was going on just yet. But when those familiar arms wrapped themselves around him tightly and squeezed him as tightly as the brunette could, a grunt escaped him, but he soon found himself hugging the other male back just as tightly, despite his confusion of the situation. One moment they're at the top of the Reaper's HQ building by Shibuya River, the next he finds himself falling into the ocean of Destiny Islands.

"Thank God your okay, i was worried you hadn't made it back with me." Sora finally said, never once loosing his hold on the other male who let out a huff. Sora couldn't help but laugh when he felt the other male's arms wrapped around him just as tightly. The worry and tension he had been feeling just left him as he nuzzled his face against Vanitas' dark colored locks. "I'm so glad your okay..." Came the soft whisper from the blue eyed male. Sora could feel and hear the purrs that were escaping the other as they held each other, allowing the sun to warm them up, merely listening to the sound of the waves.

And they would have stayed like that, if a large shadow and sudden strong winds hadn't interrupted the moment, instantly pulling away and looking up Sora was shocked to see a all to familiar Gummi ship landing. He could feel Vanitas next to him tensing up before the doors to the ship opened, Sora stared wide eyed when Riku and the rest of the Guardians of light stepped out. Sora was instantly filled happiness as he rushed over to his friends who just as happily wrapped their arms around him. Many of them asking if he was alright, if he was hurt, where had he ended up and how he come home. Sora took it all in stride, a smile on his face and happy tears in his eyes. However he stopped for a moment and looked back where he was standing, expecting to see Vanitas there.

Instead, the raven was gone. He wasn't there, a sense of fear shot through him as he pulled away from his group of friends. "Van?" Sora called out, looking around. The golden eyed male was just there, he was hugging him...wasn't he? He frowned and looked at the other Guardians of light, they looked confused and worried for the brunette. "Did you guys see-"

"Vanitas? Yeah he was here but why?" Aqua asked, she sounded suspicious, concerned about allowing the golden eyed male of Darkness wander about alone. Sora couldn't say that he blamed her, its not like she was obligated to forgive him for his actions. But he wasn't to happy about the possibility of her attacking him on sight.

Sora jumped when he felt a hand land on his shoulder. He looked to his right and was met with the sight of Ventus giving him a comforting smile. "Don't worry, he couldn't have gone far. Probably found a hole somewhere to hide in. Come on, I'll help you look," the blonde offered.

Sora was shocked that Ventus offered to help him so easily, but he figured if anyone could find the raven haired male, it would be the person who used to be or, at least still was Vanitas' lighter half. The blue eyed islander smiled and nodded. He wasn't shocked that the others had joined them in searching for the golden eyed male. They split up into groups, though Sora insisted that only he and Ventus search together. And if they found Vanitas to simply call Sora and tell him, after all there was no telling how Vanitas would react to anyone else getting to close to him. It was sunset by the time they all regrouped and there was still no sign of Vanitas. Had Sora merely seen a figment of his imagination? Did Vanitas actually even make it back to this reality? He must have, right? Otherwise the others wouldn't have seen him. Sora was starting to have his doubts, and it must have showed if Riku and Kairi standing on either side of him, offering looks and pats of comfort where anything to go by.

"He...he and I were stuck in a different reality. We had to do a lot to get back here. He's changed." Sora explained as he stood by the shore, staring out at the ocean. "I'm not saying he's a saint or anything...but he isn't evil, at least not anymore. He's trying his best to be better, to do better. I don't understand why he..." Sora sighed sadly. "I don't understand why he left. I promised him I'd be by his side even after we came home."

"Well...maybe he felt like he wasn't ready to actually see us? Or maybe the reality of everything was to much for him so he felt the need to run?" Kairi offered, tilting her head slightly.

"Vanitas isn't one to run away. It was never really in his nature," Ventus said, a hand on his hip, but he didn't seemed concerned at all. If anything the soft smile on his face showed he was relaxed and as if he knew something. "Yeah, he does get nervous when there's more then one Guardian of Light around. He knows when he's out matched. but maybe...maybe he just wanted to give you some time with us. He gets overwhelmed easily by people or large amounts of light. So it's not a shock he needed to step away."

"Needed to?"

Ventus nodded in response to Sora's question. The poor boy looked so sad and upset, Ventus hadn't truly realized just how close the two became until right now. When they had first landed the gummiship and when he saw his darker half with Sora, he could instantly sense the connection between the two. Whatever they had gone through together had been enough to forge an unbreakable bond. It was nice to see that Vanitas had finally found someone he could trust, someone who understood his situation and was kind enough to help him.

"Yeah, so it's okay to come out of hiding now, Vanitas." Ventus called, and for a moment, everyone stared at him with confusion. And In that moment a pool of Darkness formed behind Sora, causing the group to jump back and watch with concern. Ventus looked unfazed and relaxed even, Sora didn't look much different aside from his shocked expression. From that pool of Darkness, a all to familiar golden eyed male appeared from it, he looked guilty, ashamed, nervous even. "There, that's better."

"Vanitas!" Sora cried out in relief as he again wrapped his arms around the other boy who instantly clung to him. "Don't scare me like that again, jeez. I thought something had happened to you!" He scolded lightly, squeezing the other boy as if fearful that he would run off again.

"I....sorry." Vanitas found himself mumbling as he pressed his face against his shoulder. He didn't say anything else, much less bring himself to meet the eyes of the other Guardians of Light. He allowed himself to be held, his hair smoothed down by the Brunette who seemed to reluctant to let go now. The raven almost whined in protest when Sora pulled away, but seemed to settle for the fact that said brunette slid his hand into Vanitas'. It was still overwhelming to be standing here, Vanitas could /feel/ the stares, the glares and he most certainly could feel the tension and anger coming off of Aqua. "I...im-"

"It's okay Vanitas," Terra cut in quickly causing the said smaller male to look up at him with shock. He was met with a soft, warm, and understanding smile from him. "There isn't much need for you to start apologizing. Well, at least not yet. And especially not to me, because if that happens, then I'll have to start apologizing for what Xehanort did while he had control over my body,"

"But, Terra, that wasn't your fault-"

The man turned to look at Aqua when the words left her mouth. She seemed to understand that there was more he wanted to say, so she went silent. Vanitas subconsciously held Sora's hand tighter, which in return he got a gentle nuzzle to his face.

"It wasn't Vanitas' fault entirely either. how else was he going to turn out with no one but Xehanort teaching- no, /abusing/ him? Yes, I get it, there are somethings he did on his own out of malice and spite. But we can't hold that against him for the rest of his life. Because thats chosen suffering. And there isn't a point in that if you, me and Ven want to move forward." He said, smiling at the sight of Sora comforting the golden eyed male. "So, I guess what I'm trying to say is that, well, I forgive you Vanitas. There isn't a need for you to say sorry. Not to me anyway."

"Yeah, see, I can't even demand an apology because you didn't do anything when it came to the organization, or at least the old one," Lea spoke up, a hand on his hip. "I have nothing to forgive you for because technically you didnt do anything to me, Roxas, Xion or Isa. So in my book, your fine."

Vanitas frowned at the red head, it was one of more confusion then anything else and clearly the group must have noticed if the collective laughs were anything to go by. He opened his mouth to protest but stop and nearly jumped out of his skin when small, soft but very unfamiliar hands grabbed his free one. When he turned his head to look he felt his stomach drop at the sight of Kairi. He wasn't scared of her, she couldn't hurt him even if she tried, she still needed a lot of training. But she made him nervous, there was something about her that just put him on edge and he wasn't sure if it was because she was a Princess of Heart, or simply because she is one of Sora's best friends. Either way, he watched carefully as the red head gave him a soft smile and gentle squeeze of his hand.

"Thank you," she started saying, sounding and looking just as genuine. It was honestly throwing Vanitas for a loop. "Thank you, Vanitas. For bringing Sora home."

"Hey! Come on Kairi, give me a break. What if i brought Vanitas home? Huh?"

"Hm...unlikely."

At that a soft laugh escaped the raven. Clearly it shocked the group as they stared at him. Vanitas had never laughed, at least not with genuine joy or delight. Though, Sora looked happy to hear the laugh escape him and it seemed like he was used to hearing. Did that mean he got the other to make that sound often? That must have been the case, otherwise this wouldnt seem normal to Sora.

"You welcome." Vanitas finally said, this got Kairi to smile brightly, happily as she stepped aside to let Ventus stand in front of his once other half.

For a moment, the two stood facing each other and said nothing. Vanitas looked so guilty, he couldn't even look at the other for long before he was looking down or anywhere but at his other half. Though it seemed the silence was only because Vanitas was trying to come up with something to say. "Ventus, I'm sorry," he said now looking up at him, he released his hold on Sora's hand, deeming he either didn't need the comfort or he didn't deserve it. No one could be quite sure. "I'm sorry for everything, Under Xehanort's influence or not, there was no excuse for what I did to you, to Aqua or to even Terra. No, don't say I don't need to apologize because I do. None of you deserved to go through what you did and I'm sorry-" he said, hanging his head low now. "I don't expect you to forgive me but do know I am sorry."

"Vanitas...listen to yourself. Your acting like as if you can't be forgiven. I mean, clearly something has changed, you aren't the same Vanitas we knew all those years ago." Ventus explained he gave a chuckle before gently and playfully punching his shoulder. "And call me Ven."

Vanitas still had a small frown on his face, he startled when a larger hand landed on his shoulder and a smaller, gentler one on his head. He looked up at Terra and Aqua, both giving him a soft smile he never dreamed he would see from them. He couldn't exactly return that smile, the guilt he was feeling was far to great, but that was fine. They didn't seem to expect him to return it, they just seemed happy ti see that he understood what he did wrong. And that was enough for him, he couldn't help but remain silent, sticking close to Sora as he caught everyone up to speed on what happened to them.

Eventually they found themselves on the gummiship, he and Sora sitting closest to a window. Vanitas tucked between Sora's legs, his back resting against the other's front. The brunette happily had his arms wrapped around Vanitas' middle, his cheek resting on top of Vanitas' head. The others of the group were content with giving the pair alone time, happy to just have them back. Sora sighed heavily, squeezing the dark haired male slightly as he nuzzled the top of his head. This got a low grumbling purr from the boy of Darkness. "So, what's the plan now?" Vanitas asked, his hands resting over Sora's arms, stroking Sora's wrists with his thumbs as he stared out the window, watching the stars pass by.

Sora hummed as he thought about that. What would they do? He didn't exactly wanna stay on the islands, as much as he loved his home, he was never one to want to stop adventuring. But he also knew that Vanitas needed a but more time to recover. "Well, I know about a world Joshua and Neku said we can go to. It's a Locked up world but we can easily unlock it and get in." He explained his eyes never leaving the vastness of the space the ship was traveling through. "We can stay there for a little while. Then maybe you and I can just world hop, how does that sound?"

"Honestly? I'm happy with whatever so long as you're there." Was Vanitas' genuine response. Sora smiled, moving his arm to turn Vanitas' head so he was now looking at him. For a moment the two merely gazed into each other's eyes before the brunette pressed a quick kiss to his lips.

"Then we go together." He mumbled against the slight chapped lips of his Raven haired partner who purred softly.

"Together."

[yjkyungwan-blog]

𝐒𝐔𝐏 , 𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐒 𝐏𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐖𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐒  !   i’m  very  excited  to  finally  be  here  !  the  name’s  ysa  (  she / her  ,  pst  )  and  i’m  coming  to  you  live  ,  acai  bowl  in  hand  ,  to  introduce  you  to  the  biggest  pain  in  my  ass  ,  CHOI  KYUNGWAN  .  okay  ...  maybe  not  the  biggest  ,  but  he’s  up  there  .  he’s  been  at  the  yujaen  sharehouse  for  about  a  month  now  and  currently  works  as  an  employee  at  the  LAVISH  DRAGON  SPA  as  well  as  a  part  time  DELIVERY  BOY  for  kentucky  fried  chicken  .  his  detailed  profile  and  connections  page  will  be  linked  below  and  if  you’d  like  to  plot  with  him  ,  please  GIVE  THIS  POST  A  LIKE  and  i’ll  be  sure  to  make  your  hotline  bling  via  the  tumblr  ims  .  or  if  you’d  much  rather  prefer  to  figure  things  out  on  d*scord  ,  feel  free  to  add  me  @  stream  me  by  clc#5398  .  * mark  lee  vc *  let’s  get  it  !!

               profile  .  connections  .  //  trigger  warning  for  death  mention  .

NAME:  choi  kyungwan  .

FACE  CLAIM:  jung  jaewon  .

PREFERRED  PRONOUNS:  he / him  .

AGE:  twenty  two  .

DATE  OF  BIRTH:  october  30  ,  1996  .

ZODIAC:  scorpio  sun  ,  gemini  moon  ,  cancer  rising  .

PERSONALITY  TYPE:  istp  .

ROOM:  yugji  building  ,  room  1b  .

+  witty  ,  perceptive  ,  flexible  ,  leisurely  ,  charming  .  /  -  blunt  ,  dishonest  ,  reserved  ,  unorganized  ,  noncommital  .

AESTHETICS:  #being  paid  on  time  ,  #vegetarian-friendly  food  options  at  restaurants  ,  #tyrian  purple  ,  #winning  bets  ,  #smoking  cigarettes  ,  #getting  the  last  laugh  ,  #cats  ,  #pineapple  on  pizza  is  good  you  just  have  terrible  taste  ,  #denim  jackets  ,  #staying  up  late  ,  #cold  beers  ,  #spraying  febreze  ,  #buying  lottery  tickets  ,  #sarcasm  ,  #bragging  rights  ,  #sour  gummy  worms  ,  #the  rush  of  adrenaline  from  catching  your  bus  or  train  at  the  last  second  , #wellness  shots  ,  #the  nightmare  before  christmas  ,  #happy  delirium  ,  #when  the  ocean  refuses  to  stop  kissing  the  shoreline  ,  #finding  money  in  your  pocket  that  you  forgot  you  had  .

born  in  yongsa  ,  south  korea  .  only  child  .  grew  up  under  the  care  of  both  his  parents  and  lived  quite  comfortably  .  his  family  owns  lavish  dragon  spa  ,  which  is  considered  to  be  the  biggest  and  most  popular  bathhouse  in  town  .  his  father  is  the  primary  owner  and  keeps  an  eye  on  all  the  day-to-day  activities  ,  while  his  mother  runs  the  books  and  takes  care  of  everything  from  a  public  relations  standpoint  .  as  his  parents  worked  full  time  ,  a  lot  of  his  childhood  was  spent  in  daycare  facilities  or  with  his  late  paternal  grandfather  .

out  of  all  his  immediate  family  members  ,  kyungwan  considered  himself  to  be  the  closest  with  his  grandfather  .  his  most  favorite  memory  of  them  spending  time  together  was  when  he  was  three  years  old  ;  in  the  middle  of  summer  ,  he  distinctly  remembers  ,  walking  along  the  seashore  of  yongsa  beach  ,  holding  hands  and  laughing  as  he  eats  an  ice  cream  cone  and  accidentally  drops  it  into  the  sand  .

when  he  passed  away  ,  kyungwan  took  a  long  time  to  process  and  accept  it  .  the  concept  of  death  was  a  hard  pill  to  swallow  for  a  kid  his  age  ;  he  was  a  little  confused  and  a  lot  sad  ,  and  didn’t  exactly  know  how  to  deal  with  it  .  he  also  wasn’t  one  to  be  outwardly  emotionally  expressive  ,  still  isn’t  to  this  day  ,  so  instead  of  spilling  tears  or  talking  about  it  ,  he  withdrew  into  this  shell  for  a  good  chunk  of  his  first  year  of  middle  school  .

things  took  an  upturn  when  he  got  involved  with  tennis  .  his  mother  ,  worried  sick  about  his  well-being  ,  forced  him  into  the  idea  in  the  midst  of  his  “  i  don’t  want  to  do  this  ,  you  can’t  make  me  ”  tantrums  because  she  believed  he  needed  to  do  something  ,  anything  to  get  him  out  of  the  rut  he  was  in  ,  and  she  was  not  going  to  stand  by  and  watch  her  son  sit  tight-lipped  and  grieving  .  turns  out  ,  he  had  a  knack  for  the  sport  ;  he  didn’t  want  to  admit  it  at  first  but  he  liked  it  ,  and  he  liked  that  he  could  channel  all  of  his  negative  energy  out  on  the  court  .  it  was  a  way  for  him  to  express  himself  without  actually  having  to  express  himself  ...  verbally  .

unfortunately  his  interest  in  tennis  lessened  over  time  ,  just  as  his  interests  in  other  things  grew  over  time  ,  and  he  doesn’t  play  much  anymore  .  he  still  considers  it  a  hobby  ,  though  .

as  briefly  mentioned  above  ,  kyungwan  works  as  an  attendant  at  lavish  dragon  spa  .  it’s  a  job  some  may  consider  a  “  hand  out,  ”  due  to  the  fact  that  his  parents  are  the  ones  in  charge  ,  but  don’t  let  him  catch  you  saying  that  .  he  doesn’t  mind  it  ,  working  there  ;  it’s  basically  a  second  home  to  him  .  his  father  keeps  on  insisting  to  groom  him  for  management  but  he’s  not  entirely  sure  he  wants  to  commit  to  that  yet  .  it’s  nice  to  think  about  ,  a  good  backup  plan  ,  but  he’s  not  100  %  sold  .  he  doesn’t  want  to  be  tied  down  .  wants  to  explore  all  his  options  .

aside  from  his  job  at  the  bathhouse  ,  he  also  makes  money  through  a  part  time  job  doing  deliveries  for  kentucky  fried  chicken  .  which  is  so  ironic  ,  given  that  he  doesn’t  even  eat  meat  ,  but  who  is  choi  kyungwan  if  not  a  walking  paradox  ?  he  responded  to  a  wanted  ad  one  day  ,  went  in  ,  got  the  job  ,  and  it  sticks  .  he’s  not  complaining  .  most  nights  he’ll  come  home  smelling  like  grease  and  fried  chicken  .  and  depending  on  who  you  ask  ,  that  could  not  be  a  bad  thing  .

to  be  specific:  kyungwan  is  pescetarian-vegetarian  ,  which  means  he  follows  a  strict  plant-based  diet  with  an  incorporation  of  seafood  .  he  doesn’t  eat  meat  for  any  extreme  reason  ,  he  just  doesn’t  like  it  .  feels  nauseous  and  sluggish  after  eating  it  .  he’s  not  going  to  go  out  of  his  way  to  hound  people  who  do  eat  meat  ,  and  he  doesn’t  get  bothered  if  you  eat  some  infront  of  him  .  he  merely  won’t  have  a  bite  .  period  .

kind  of  charming  ,  kind  of  an  asshole  .  knows  how  to  use  words  to  get  by  and  truly  believes  karma  doesn’t  apply  to  him  .  sugarcoating  isn’t  in  his  vocabulary  ;  he’ll  tell  you  how  it  is  ,  plain  and  simple  .  sometimes  he  can  come  off  insensitive  in  this  regard  ,  but  he  doesn’t  mean  to  hurt  people  intentionally  .  nine  times  out  of  ten  ,  the  things  he  says  or  does  are  for  his  own  benefit  and  the  people  around  him  are  an  afterthought  .  but  that  doesn’t  mean  he  doesn’t  care  about  his  friends  and  loved  ones  .  he  does  .  he  just  understands  that  at  the  end  of  the  day  ,  the  only  person  that’s  going  to  take  care  of  him  is  himself  ,  and  he  wants  to  protect  his  heart  above  all  else  .  he’s  been  careless  before  ,  too  trusting  ,  and  has  had  ex  friends  and  ex  relationships  walk  all  over  him  .

has  an  affinity  for  smoking  .  it’s  a  habit  he  picked  up  from  those  he’s  been  hanging  around  with  these  days  .  he  won’t  smoke  in  the  sharehouse  ,  he  knows  better  not  to  ,  but  he’ll  light  a  cigarette  outside  .  there  are  times  where  he  has  tried  to  quit  but  it  hasn’t  broken  ground  yet  .  the  longest  he’s  gone  without  smoking  was  two  months  ...  let’s  see  if  he  can  beat  that  .

tends  to  get  into  fights  .  mighty  prideful  .  his  parents  ,  or  more  so  his  father  ,  hates  the  kind  of  person  kyungwan  is  becoming  and  they  never  see  eye  to  eye  on  his  choices  .  his  mother  ,  on  the  other  hand  ,  always  gives  him  the  benefit  of  the  doubt  and  stays  perpetually  worried  about  him  .  she’s  been  like  that  ever  since  he  was  young  and  he  knows  she’ll  never  change  .

he  moved  out  of  his  parents’  house  because  he  couldn’t  stand  the  suffocation  he  felt  from  living  under  their  roof  .  they  constantly  argued  and  went  back  and  forth  ,  and  at  the  time  things  seemed  definite  and  final  .  he  then  moved  in  with  his  now  ex  girlfriend  and  lived  with  her  for  a  few  months  before  their  imminent  break  up  ,  prompting  him  to  find  a  new  place  to  stay  .  he  contemplated  going  back  to  his  parents  ;  was  actually  about  a  block  or  two  away  from  the  front  door  before  he  talked  himself  out  of  it  and  went  to  look  into  hostels  and  every  other  possible  affordable  accommodations  .

and  that’s  how  he  wound  up  at  the  yujaen  .  this  living  situation  is  more  tentative  than  anything  ,  though  it’s  already  been  a  month  and  he’s  still  there  .  he’s  not  the  worst  roommate  or  housemate  in  the  world  but  there  are  definitely  some  things  he  needs  to  work  on  .

[ieechans]

Lean On Me | Location Prompt

Summary: Even if it’s just for a moment, you make me forget all the hard things. Word Count: 1,729 Genre: fluff, angst Prompt: Choi “S.Coups” Seungcheol + Beach TW: none i can think of! tell me if you need anything tagged

A/N: im not in a good place right now and i needed to get some stuff off my chest. kind of a continuation of seungcheol’s highschool!au. i hope this is able to help you guys if you needed something like this as much as i do.

You lay on your bed, surrounded by flash cards. Your text book lay open, yet untouched. Your laptop was open to a video linked by your teacher, but you weren’t listening. You had a test to review for, but you couldn’t feel the impending doom. If anything, you decided you’d end up studying at 2 A.M.

You stared blankly at the screen, your eyes unblinking. You knew if you shut them you’d end up falling asleep, and that was exactly what happened. Just as your eyelids began to droop, the sound of the monotonous voiceover going in one ear and leaving the other, you heard a notification go off on your phone. You smiled to yourself upon seeing the contact name and did exactly as the text asked. You approached the window and pulled up the blinds. You peered out the window to find your boyfriend, Choi Seungcheol.

You opened up your window and leaned out. “What are you doing here? It’s like, 10:30!” you whisper-shouted, hoping not to wake your parents.

Seungcheol grinned. “What, I can’t see my beautiful girlfriend? C’mon, the boys wanna hang out!”

You looked back at your closed bedroom door. Your parents were just down the hall. “I can’t, they went to bed 30 minutes ago.”

“Sneak out!”

“Cheol!” you protested. “I have a test tomorrow, too!”

He shrugged. “Bring your flashcards with you. I can help you study,” he said, winking. “Babe, I bet you weren’t even studying either! You have the ‘I’m-about-to-fall-asleep’ look on your face.”

You rolled your eyes. He had a point, it wasn’t like you were actually going to study. You told him you’d be right down and got changed. You shut off the light to your room and cautiously opened your bedroom door. You gently shut it behind you and silently went down the stairs. After successfully slipping outside, you headed to Seungcheol’s car.

“See, how hard was that?” he asked, giving you a sly grin.

You hit him playfully. “Shut up, I only came because you said you’d help me study.”

He raised his hands up defensively and started up the car. “Alright, the test is for Mrs. Shin, right?”

You nodded and buckled yourself in.

“Okay, tell me the steps to the nitrogen cycle.”

You smiled. “Easy, this was chapter four. Nitrogen fixation, nitrification, assimilation, denitrification. If you’re going to quiz me, then at least quiz me on the right chapter.”

Seungcheol clicked his tongue and shook his head. “Yeah, but you’re missing a step, babe,” he murmured, his eyes trained on the road.

You scoffed and crossed you arms. “You’re not even taking Environmental Science, you’re taking Biology!”

“The details don’t matter,” he mused, “but whatever, I’m sure you’ll do fine.”

You hummed in response. He held out a hand for you to hold onto and you accepted it, entwining your fingers with his. The ride was silent, for the most part, but you didn’t mind. You didn’t needs words. You switched on the radio and quietly sang along to the pop song that seemed to be played nonstop. Occasionally, Seungcheol would steal glances at you with a fond smile on his face, and you took notice.

“Keep your eyes on the road, babe,” you said, rubbing his thumb with your own.

He laughed. “Stop being so distracting then! You should be studying.”

“Whatever, Cheol. Anyways, where are we going?”

He quickly glanced at you and squeezed your hand. “Don’t worry about it. If you’re tired you can sleep, I’ll wake you up when we get there.”

And so, you reclined the seat and shut your eyes, letting the top fifty hits lull you to sleep.

“We’re here,” he sing-songed, nudging your cheek to wake you up.

You rubbed your eyes and squinted, adjusting to your surroundings. The cold, salty smell of the ocean hit you and you realized you were at the beach. You got out of the car and shivered. If you knew where you were going, you would have worn a thicker sweater. Seungcheol took notice and pulled you closer, his arm wrapped around your waist. You looked up and smiled at him.

“Warmer?”

“Of course.”

You began to walk, listening to the waves crashing in the distance. Soon the pavement turned to sand and you removed your shoes and socks, walking barefoot. The sand was warm against your feet, and Seungcheol only kept you warmer. It was pleasant. The thought of your test washed away with the sound of the waves. You both made it down to the shoreline and you let the ocean water run across your bare feet.

“Where are the other boys?” you asked after a while. “Didn’t you say they wanted to hang out?” A smile played on his lips and you nudged him gently. “Cheol, did you lie to me?”

“How else would I get you out of the house?”

You rolled your eyes at him. “By asking me like a normal person.”

Seungcheol grinned and wrapped both arms around you, giving you a hug. He then lifted you from the ground and gave you a tight squeeze. “But aren’t you happy to be here with me?” he asked playfully.

You let out a giggle and kicked your feet. “It’s okay, I guess.” Seungcheol gave you a pout and you smiled at him. “I was kidding! Put me down,” you laughed.

He complied and placed you back onto the ground, your toes once again meeting the warm sand. You both strolled for a bit more and decided to sit down, stopping at a point where you could see the bright moon illuminating across the water. Seungcheol draped his arm around you, and you scooted closer to him. You leaned against his chest, and you could hear the faint beating of his heart along with the waves hitting the shore. You shut your eyes and basked in the silence. You needed it. After all, you’d have to go back home and immerse yourself in the endless notes.

“You’re thinking about something.”

“Hm?” You looked up at your boyfriend’s face, his eyes filled with concern.

“You have that look on your face.”

“It’s nearly midnight, Cheol. This is my ‘I’m tired’ face.”

He gently shook his head and pulled you closer to him. “That’s not it. You haven’t been yourself lately, and this look proves it. You seem so… out of it.”

You felt something in you ache as you heard him speak, and you forced yourself to let out a weak chuckle. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Cheol. I’m fine.”

Despite your reassurance, Seungcheol didn’t believe it. He rested his chin on the top of your head and let out a long sigh. “Did someone make you cry? Did someone hurt you? Who bothered you?”

“Cheol, it’s nothing I –”

“I know you’re lying to me, Y/N,” he said softly. “I just want you to be happy, so please let me know what’s wrong.”

You pressed your lips shut and swallowed the lump that had somehow appeared at the back of your throat.

“Tell me everything without leaving anyone or anything behind. Even if it’s a long story, we have all night. I’ll always be by your side, Y/N,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to your forehead. With his free hand, he gently swiped his thumb across your cheek to wipe away a stray tear that had fallen.

“I just –” you took in a breath and blinked, the tears beginning to steadily roll down your cheeks. “I’m just so tired. Of school. Of everything. Nothing I ever do seems enough for my parents, you know? And it’s just so tiring because I’m trying so hard but I don’t see myself going anywhere.”

“Everything is just so repetitive. It’s the same thing every day. I wake up and force myself to go to school. I smile at people that I know I won’t interact with in a few months. I go home, drown in work, drown in tears, drown in frustration, and then go to sleep to have it start all over.”

“That, and I’m so scared of the future, Cheol. What if I don’t make it into a college? It’s been drilled into my head that I have to succeed, and what if I don’t? What will happen then? And what if,” you hesitated, your grip on his jacket tightening, “what if we don’t last? You’re literally the only person that can keep me sane at this point in my life and I don’t even know if I’ll even survive without you.”

You finished your much needed vent, and what began as a couple of tears turned into sobbing. Seungcheol was quiet, but his hand that rubbed your back was all you needed. You continued to spill out any other issues that had been burdening you and he listened, not saying a word and only comforted you with his touch.

When you were done, he gently wiped the last tear off your face and wrapped his arm around your shoulders once more. You both sat in silence for the umpteenth time that night, the sound of the ocean filling the quiet. You pulled your phone out of your pocket to check the time. It was midnight.

“It’s late. We should head back,” you whispered.

Seungcheol didn’t respond, his eyes directed at the ocean. You followed his gaze, watching as the moon’s reflection sparkled in the water. After what felt like a decade, he finally spoke up.

“Y/N,” he murmured, his voice soothing you immediately. “Even if we don’t know when our last will be, or if something happens and we can’t see each other, we’re here right now. All I want you to do is to trust me. Lean on me.”

So you did, and all your struggles and stress that still lingered receded into the ocean.

[gooodmorninsunshine]

Part V: Lets talk about SSS: Our Senses and the Importance of SilenceHey Empaths: “Feelin so fresh right now we should call ourselves the ziploc gang”

Hey Heyyy lovely amazing humans,

  Were gonna keep it lighter today, a bit of a controversial day out here and in that regard ive relaxed a little bit here in my writing and getting pretty darn comfortable with this flow "exxxcuse me flow" D & D reference. 

You’re gonna get to know me a little more  about my real authentic true self, this writing is who I really am. 

Growing up in a broken system has opened my eyes, yes all three of them, if for those of you that are my peeps you’ll understand that reference.

 Also you're gonna see more Dumb and Dumber quotes and probably a Buttt Ton of Will Ferell. 

I tend to write how I talk. 

But for this instance i wont let letters draggg on as much, but hey you know if you text me and your one of me peeps I always exaggerate letters because its just the way I speak, very enthusiastically.

I also notice when my brain is in a flow I type quickly and for some reason smell checking it just a pet peeve for me so yes this may be riddled with some spelling errors. Did ya notice the word smell instead of spell? I really have always disliked going back and re reading my work. The essays my teachers would give back to me were practically all underlined in red and read ‘ use a dictionary next time’

***but also keep in mind when you do notice a spelling error, notice your brain during this. Your brain picks up on mistakes quickly instead of understanding the sentence itself.

Wasn't there a math trick that showed this? 

1+1=3

4+1=5

3+1=4 

Did your brain do it? Automatically went to the wrong math equation, instead of noticing the other 2 correct ones. We're not perfect human beings, so lets not be to critical of others and ourselves and try not to notice the mistakes and instead take in the things that resonate with you, try to retrain the mind to accept this and dive in***

****Big Thank You to all the empaths out there! Thank you for keeping this flow going for me, you know who you are and none of this writing would have been possible without you, thanks for helping me find me and my comfort zone, Hallelujah!***

Lets all Shhhhhh for a moment,

Were gonna go mute and talk about the importance of our other senses

We are so much more than just words

We all learn our behaviour from somewhere and this begins at a very young age

Before we learn to speak, our mind is being conditioned 

We are very observant creatures, especially at a young age when we are muted we tend to pick up more on the reactions and responses of others while watching their movements and mannerisms. 

When we are muted our other senses are heightened and smell and taste become much more apparent.

When were not able to verbally communicate yet, or ever for some, we naturally rely on our other senses to help us navigate through life.

Communication and connection through our senses is pretty powerful stuff and can create alot of insight about ourselves. And Hey aren't we all just trying to figure out who we really are?

our body talks to us all day long such as

Ive got an itch on my nose so my hand scratches it or ouch I stubbed my toe, which recently happened to both chic and mom within a few days of each other.

Our body is constantly communicating with itself and most of this happens unconsciously. 

Our brain thinks about something and our body just does it. Obviously theres more science to it than that but hey lets stay light today and honestly i dont feel like trying to learn all the terminology. Sometimes the details complicate things, lets keep it simple 

Unconscious communication is more prevalent when you consider muscle memory. 

 Do you ever unconsciously reach for something and its not there? And afterward realizing its not there you process this. 

 This usually happens when i go to brush my teeth, I open the drawer grab it without even looking down. 

 Our body recalls specific motions and patterns that we do more regularly and saves this information. 

This can be gooood and also bad. 

 I am right now trying to become more aware of these patterns such as putting on the kettle without even asking myself do i really want a tea right now? 

Its important for us to stop and think about the movements were actually making and why. 

Unconscious communication through muscle memory can also be a good thing such as typing on this keyboard right now. 

 This type of communication with the body can enhance our lives more efficiently but that doesnt necessarily mean its more effective. 

Multi tasking is a great skill yes yes and includes alot of muscle memory especially in a work place setting. However weve got to consider how well are we actually doing each task. 

Were kind of half assing all the tasks instead of doing an exceptional job dedicated to one task only. 

 Because we live in a 'consumer convenience' era, multi tasking is expected at every job and if you cant keep up well hey they'll find someone who will. Places of employment no longer value the same skills they once used to, but lets leave that stuff for another day. 

So were always chit chattin to our bodies, whether we realize it or not and vise versa

Our bodies are always communicating with us, we just gotta pay more attention sometimes. I am guilty of this in this moment as my lower back aches a bit from sitting and writing and i should go do a quick stretch.

Connecting with our body and my senses has given me alot of insight Its important for me to remember how essential my other senses are

Yes words are powerful and beautiful and conveying, however lets dive into our other awesome gifts first

Stop! in the namee of LOVE and smell the roses: SMELL

Smell is something we really do take for granted now a days

We forget to smell fresh flowers and fresh berries

Smell the air around us and the changes it has on your body when it blows

Smell that beautiful ocean breeze and notice the small of the Sulphur, the marine life and sometimes sure it can be a wee bit stinky on the shoreline

But our ability to smell is really quite unique and special and affects us all differently. Strong perfumes personally give me and many other people a headache.

We are all so beautifully different and lets embrace it all. 

Animals of course have a much more heightened sense of smell

Animals without the capability to speak rely solely on their senses

A bear can smell meat 5 miles away, cmon now 5 miles, that’s honestly wild to try and comprehend.

5 miles is over 8000 m and if you remember running the 100 M dash in gym class well that’s a great distance to go.

 Its recommended when your hiking long distance trails not to pack meat, especially near the end of the berry season. When you are hiking you will see 'bear box or caches' in some camping areas, this is obviously to cover the scent.

***But cmon who loves Will Ferell? I definitely do! Anchorman classic  "the bears can smell the menstruation" funny joke for sure, except its not really a joke. 

Ive spoke to a few hikers who backpack and said this is actually real and bears can smell blood from 5 miles away. I have legitimately been told not to go hiking when i am on my cycle. I have also spoken to a few people who have said nahh thats not true so honestly who knows, but Im not signing up for that experiment regardless. 

Have you ever smelt a specific flower or perfume or pool water or gasoline, or obviously theres over 1000 plus infinity smells. Have you ever smelt something recently and it reminded you of a previous time in your life? Sometimes smell can take you back to past memories and things that you forgot about, sometime a scent can transcend us back to that very moment. I have experienced this among many many others. When we are open and relaxed this is much more abundant.

Who doesn't love to go outside after it rains, or even better during it and dance to a little John Melloncamp with the fam jam, that ones for you dad!

The ground and the air sure smells extra fresh after a good rainstorm, the earth's natural cleanser. 

Who else lovesssss water, in all of its varying and uniquely different forms, and temperatures.

Probablyyyy most of us as it’s essential for our survival. 

Who loves a nice cold shower? Always good to do for a nice body reset and actually recommended by some more wise individuals. 

Have you ever noticed how good you feel after a dip in the lake?

Are there any other mermaids out there? Or anybody with alot of water in their charts? Swimming for some of us is one of the most incredible sensations. Floating and flippin around in the waves is really freeeing for the body and the mind. 

Campfires

Im not sure if your the same as my awesome little hippie family but we love this smell, and the smell of a campfire puts us all into an instant relax chill mode. 

* Also if you want to get even weirder like us, leave your campfire scented sweater for when you wake up in the morning and youll automatically be in a relaxed mood. And i know its not just my and my fam who does this cause ive met a few of you that find great comfort in this as well. 

Nature and its elements are so calming eh. Scents both knowing or not can dictate our moods and reactions

Scents remind us of our memories and they remind us of what we do and do not enjoy

Most people dislike the smell of cigarettes, for some its a memory association response and for some they have hold onto some judgements about it.

Have you ever walked by a group of people who dont have access to a washing machine and thought 'eww gross?'

Sometimes our mind associates scents negatively and unknowingly we allow it to dictate our reactions or opinions. 

Whatever people are wearing or smellin like you can still give them a smile, be sure to take your mask off so they can seeee and feeel your enthusiastic energy. 

 Smiles go a long long long way for people and when you smile at something that typically your judgmental about, your showing your brain whose BOSS, your teaching it to change your reactions and stop meaningless and inauthentic opinions by doing so. 

Everyones got a favourite scent, i wonder what yours is and why? What does it remind you of? What scents trigger you in a negative way and why? Smell is much more prevalent when we are calm and relaxed

Mmmm food, keepin our bellies happy keeps us happy : TASTE

Our amazingly sophisticated taste buds and their ability to decipher from each other and every flavour we put into our mouths. And thank you universe and mother earth for such variety. Our taste buds change over time which ive always found of kind of interesting, they sort of mature with age alongside ourselves

***If my dad was here today he would be telliing you all about this.

"your tastebuds are gonna change one day guys' and my sisters and I would obviously disagree as children tend to do with their parents when their trying to avoid their vegetables. 

As I child I would always get a ham, cheese and mayo sub.

And I do mean ALWAYS, for about a decade that never changed

And my dad would often recommend i put some veggies on there, I must say i felt fairly strongly about my dislike of veggies growing up, I typically went for the meat and cheese, chic for the potatoes and my older sis would go for the veggies, she knew the importance of eating well at a very young age.

Our dad was pretty darn accommodating when it came to this tho because of course it wasn't just me, chic was the same and well we know were stronger in groups right? So my dad eventually gave up and he started to make his famous chicken alfredo in two batches. He would make his and the lovely amazing human he was with at this time. He would make theirs with peppers, onions and mushrooms. 

I am almost drooling and i havent finished the sentence yet, which reminds me of ***Parlov's Dog experiment* This references how powerful our nervous system is in connection to our body and includes how impactful our memory can be.

He would make theirs, and a separate one for chic and I with only the Alfredo and chicken. But hey we loved it and ate it every time so he stopped fighting us and just reminded us in a very funny manner, just wait till your taste buds change one day guys, and we would laugh at this ridiculously absurd possibility. Annnnd thann!     

Luckily my dad was still around to see this development actually happen We would tell him about all the veggies we put in our food now a days and all the new veggies weve learned about, and he was in shock when he learned i dont even eat meat anymore and actually follow more of a plant based diet. He had the biggest smile on his face, ' seeeee i told you guys' he would say. 

We sometimes take this sense for granted, shoveling food into our mouths at such a fast pace because we only have an hour lunch break at work.

Do you know its recommended to chew food, 27 or 28 times? Can't recall that i learned  it recently, but that recommendation dates back to an ancient Indian philosophy telling us to slow down when we are eating, its better for our digestion as well. 

Did you know how long it actually takes for a home cooked meal to be ready? forrrrrrrever it feels like sometimes. 

 My family could tell you more about this one specifically as they make bigger meals for their own families now. 

 Lasagna or shepards pie is coming to mind right now, mom and chic make the best dishes! This process requires time and is well worth it afterwards, a nice home cooked meal for the family. Meat or no meat whatever your into. 

Its nice to sit down together and appreciate good conversation and home cooked meals, your own little community gathering. 

Families still do this yes, its just not as common, for very understandable reasons, no one has any of their OWN time anymore.

Both parents are now expected to work to survive, our new age, obviously this beautiful tradition is much harder to consistently continue and gradually fades away. 

Conveniently during this we saw a massive rise in  technology resulting in overstimulation in children and less availability for social skills to develop. A family sitting down together over dinner and chattin about their day is really quite a sacred tradition to cherish. 

Naturally with our chaotic world we forget the importance this could have on us and our healthy developments. 

Its funny cause as kids we always found this so annoying and couldn't wait to leave the dinner table to get back outside, completely unaware the length of time it takes to cook a meal. As an adult I find I really cherish the times i am able to get back and over to my moms kickass backyard and hang with my family over a beautiful meal. And you know if youve ever come to momma bears house just how smoothly this whole operation goes. 

***Momma Bears backyard shenanigan's... Hey Farvo! Whats the place we used to go to all the time? Super trooper reference, another classsic*** 

Chics preppin the veggies, shes got all her spices going, moms gettin the BBQ lit and they debate whose gonna cook. As i am typing this im realizing i haven't been pulling my weight as much as i could be, gosh i am so spoiled! Real families making real food today is a process and its quite a beautiful one. The preparation involved as a team is very bonding. So sit down and enjoy it afterwards and try and give your fam jam your full attention, you might notice a difference emotionally. 

***One trick my nana tried to teach me was to put my knife and fork down between bites in order to train myself to slow down while enjoying a meal.

Sometimes in this chaotic world, not crazy world because that term is used very loosely now and we throw it around, again I face this challenge many many times because as an empath I see, feel and observe from a different perspective. 

And many many many of you are exactly the same, obviously perceiving things all differently but you get what i mean, we've all got this in us. 

We all have the ability to quickly view both sides of a circumstance if we are able to be open and calm. If your different its time to embrace it! 

Being different is wayyyy cooler and more fun when you find your peeps obviously, and this is really starting to happen for me. When you find your community that you vibe with, wow magical things can happen.  

Sometimes in our chaotic consumer driven era we do not have the time to enjoy a meal, we simply need the energy to fuel us for the rest of the day. It doesn't have to be this way, slow down, stop working overtime and keep our guts happy, remember its considered to be our second brain. 

What we ingest is very important for our emotional and physical development.  Its important to know what food we are ingesting and whether it benefits your body or not. Most of us don't even look at labels anymore, we buy it from the store and trust that its safe, and yes this includes me, who has time to read all those ingredients right? And google all those long complicated words.

Our senses have incredible capabilities and i have definitely taken them for granted. We beat our body constantly by eating process foods and smelling and using toxic products. I am very guilty of this as I really did not pay attention nor care about what i ate and drank in previous years. 

This was also related to some underlying issues so it was important for me to WAKE UP and deal with my shit in order to start caring about what I was putting into my body.    

***Our body is our temple, our soul dictates how it is treated*** 

**See RAT PARK experiment: We are a by product of our environment and this does affect our senses and the connections to our body***

Do you live in a city?

I do and i am definitely breathing in more pollution than someone whose livin their best air life up north in the woods.

Do you live beside a farm? The soil, the grass and the air can influence your body emotionally and physically. The methane from all the cows poooop is something people are looking into more seriously, among other reasons.

Do you live by a nuclear plant or garbage and recycling centre?

Do you notice a difference emotionally and physically when you are out walking in the woods, old growth forests all around? You're finally getting clean oxygen and this is essential for our healthy development. Of course we must consider the hike itself, walking in nature and getting healthy exercise. Stuff like this is a big factor and can improve your development emotionally and physically. But have you ever noticed how great you feel afterwards? 

*Nature is magic, nature is healing and nature is our medicine***

Come and knock on our door, weve been waiting for you! :SOUND

Most of us are born with the ability to hear and now a days tech is so fancy they are able to help individuals who have trouble with this. Those who do not have this sense means their other senses are naturally heightened which is pretty incredible as well when we consider this. Our body is incredible and decides hey were sorry you cant hear, our bad, lets kick up all your other senses in return.  

Something I experience from an old knee injury is some back issues because my body has been overcompensating on the one side for so long. Pretty neat to think that even when were hurtin our body is able to support us

Our ability to hear sounds still boggles me because new sounds and patterns just keep on coming around,this will never end, limitless creative possibilities

We just gotta stay focused enough to create. 

Infinite possibilities, never stop creating! We can make music, play instruments, become a dj like my super cool cuz, for real check him out, what do they say now a days? hes dopppppe! 

WE can shuffle our feet around, whistle and clap our hands. 

Sounds can gesture signs of appreciation and can also indicate signs of warning. 

Have you ever been walking downtown and faintly hear the sound of someone screaming and it scares you? Whats your reaction to this very moment? Do you flee to help them? Are you automatically scared? Do you freeze? Its important to start to notice our responses, in these particular situations. We believe we have no control over our reactions, but we do and we can change them.

Have you ever noticed when you work with the same people you begin to listen to their foot patterns and can figure out whose coming

That may sound extreme to some but let me tell ya everybody moves their feet differently and if you and if you work with someone enough youll start to notice this pattern and even know whose coming in the room before our sight registers it.

Sound allows us to decipher between a saxophone and drums, among many many other instruments. Sounds picks up unconsciously on different frequencies and their levels affect us more than we realize. There is a really neat deep sleep app i use and because the frequency is different it helps you fall asleep faster and into a more REM cycle, something about delta waves? 

Our ability to hear allows us to become musicians and singers like wonderful MS, she sung in the kitchen when we were making food together in costa rica and it was so very enchanting. Have you ever just heard someone's voice and sort of fall into a bit of a meditative state? MS has the ability to do this! and naturally other people felt safe enough to join in allowing themselves to open up further. We are connected and help eachother on this wild ride of life.

Embrace our beautiful gifts and keep on roaring!

We can recreate ourselves, or how I like to see it, we return to our true self without all of the systems conditioning. We can free our minds!  

We can choose a song we want to listen to next and make a playlist, this is all apart of creation! *Also please share your awesome playlists with me, I would love to hear them***

Have you ever noticed how your mood can shift when 'your jam' comes on, instantly lifts your mood, a game changer we say. Sound gives your body the ability to overrride your emotional thought process.

Whatever your thinking about changes in an instant. An example of this is when someone honks their horn, and thanks sis for talking about the mustang today. But lets play this scenario out, your driving, your cruising, your jamming to your fav song on the radio, windows down, life is grand. Than BAM someone honks a horn and suddenly everything changes. 

Or what about when your walking downtown and you consistently hear the sound of sirens, dont you think psychologically this could affect someone deeply, more deeply than others due to underlying trauma. Maybe someone whose gone through this hears the sound of an ambulance or police car and it instantly reminds them of traumatic event, causing them to react differently, causing them to react from their flight or flight nervous system.

Maybe some people do not trust authority because they have never been shown the same level of respect in the system. 

Or what about someone who has experience a fire? and they hear the sound of a firetruck and well surely that sound could activate their fight or flight system.

Or what about the sounds of the birds in the morning?

Birds are also very powerful and unique creatures and for fun sometimes i like to watch them in the morning fly around chasing each other, animals still play! Humans still play!

You could be walking to work in a rush because time is a constructed illusion and your body knows this, but regardless you're stressed out and racing to work. Suddenly you hear the birds, and if you can take a second or longer, this really can calm you down. Animals make the coolest noises, elephants, monkeys, dolphins, all communicate non verbally and effectively because guess what they're still huntin and sleepin as a team. Watch some planet earth and see how they unite non verbally, its pretty powerful. 

Animals have incredible capabilities and utilize all their other sense for their survival. Humans also have incredibly heightened senses, truly a gift that we forget to embrace sometimes because were so busy in our go go consumer convenient society.

Eye spy with my little Eye :SIGHT

How long has it been since you played that? Hang out with some of your nieces and start playing again. Bring back your inner child because honestly having fun and being silly is what life is all about.

Our eyes, have you ever stopped to think about how amazing this actually is. We can see for miles, some not as far as others even further. Weve all got different colors and capabilities. And if this is lacking well our world is pretty advanced so they can hook ya up with some pretty great eyewear these days, or even now laser surgery can correct this. Dang eh thats cool, the gift of vision is now readily available! 

We can see colours, we can see rainbows, different shades etc 

*or are colours just a projection of our reality?*** Oh la la heavy subject definitely wont dive into that one anytime soon* 

Our sight allows us to see mountains and oceans, we can go from city to city, continent to continent and see varying landscapes and architectures.

Have you ever thought of your ideal travel destinations? 

Where would you want to go and why? 

What are you curious about these days?

Our eyes distinguish the difference between yellow and orange, and for some they see all brown and dont know theyre actually wearing purple. I couldn’t imagine being colour blind I think that would be really challenging. But I guess if your born that way you don’t really learn any different right so your other senses adjust accordingly.

Our eyes have the ability to adjust to the light around us, and this is important when you want to get out at night and just stare above. The stars the moon the planets, its all connected to us down here on earth. 

Take a moment to see if you can feel this, try to get out on the next meteor shower, or even just look up more often at night if you can, its so elegant and beautifully complex up there. 

Astrology we will definitely have to get into in another chapter, but for fun if you can find out what time you were born, where and when, check out your birth chart. Not everyone believes in this which is all good. I do however believe that we come from the universe above. I like to believe that the stars, the planets, how everything is lined up when you were born is kind of like your soul DNA code.

For fun look up your birth chart and see if you learn anything new about yourself? 36 pages of free info all about you! Some may not resonate of course but its pretty insightful to figure out your elements and all THREE of your signs

*Take a few minutes and enjoy your senses*** This is called a grounding technique and is very effective. If your feelin a lot of knots in your stomach than take a moment, slow down, notice your surroundings and focus on your senses.

What are you smelling? 

Do you need to put deodorant on? And those of you that know me understand why I ask this speiific question.  

I like to use something without aluminum in it because I learned that sweating is very natural and its not really that healthy to be clogging up our pores. 

Our bodies need to sweat out the toxins and its trying to get it out. 

I tend to use a natural odorizer and it takes away the smell but the moisture still get outs. Or honestly a little trick i taught the community that I have done before is baking soda, cheap and very effective, sprinkle a little on and your ready to go on that tinder or bumble or whatever more dating apps they got now a days. 

and yes I to have tried them before but in doing so I have learned that I am not as social as I thought and thats okay. Hangin quietly with someone on a deeper level and talkin about real shit is what excites me. Aristotle theories vs Plato, Where did we all come from? and Of course watching Cosmos from our genious buddy Neil Degrassi Tyson. I cherish real and authentic conversations with people. Enough with the superficial blah blah ya know, Substance and Value in conversations helps me comprehend information quicker. and right now I wannnna learn more and more and I find when you converse with others on the same level your mind expands.

What are you smelling?

What are you hearing?

Is the dishwasher going? 

Is the water dripping from the tap? 

Is the toilet running? And if so make sure you tell your landlord cause that shit costs alot of extra money for them, sorry momma bear for your last tenant but thank you for this valuable life lesson!

Do you taste anything? is your mouth dry? Do you still taste the kale smoothie you just had? Mix it with some other flavors yum yum!

What are you hearing?

I don't live as close to downtown anymore thankfully so i don't hear the sirens as much when im at home trying to relax. i honestly never realized how much they affected me until i moved elsewhere. The loud noises, the abrupt sounds, and the constant reminder that someone somewhere else is suffering in this very moment, kind of pulls on your heart strings a little right? 

We are obviously dealing with a very serious Opioid crisis right now and the sirens are non stop here. It brings me a bit of sadness. I like to have a quick prayer for whoever they are attending to and hope they make it. The opioid crisis is even more amplified and Ive gotta carry two kits of Naloxone at work instead of one. But thats also a topic for another day. 

ohhhh i got the feeeelin' : TOUCH

And lastly are amazing gift, the sensation of touch and feel.

This one is heckaaa important as well.

We get to feel all sorts of different textures when were in kindergarten class, remember that board with all the different felts and such on it? 

Thank you universe for our opposable thumbs.

Humans get to run sand through their fingers, feel the water wash over them and walk barefoot in the woods

***also important to look up, actually forget looking it up just go and dooooo it! 

There are a lot of benefits to walking barefoot in the woods or somewhere clean and safe in nature. 

 Reflexology is super fascinating and essentially all of your organs can be traced back to the bottom of your feet. Its important to walk around with no shoes on as often as you can when your outside somewhere you feel safe. Feel the grass under your toes, dip your feet into the cold ocean and walk on rocks for fun. Honestly after a while your feet are so strong and they toughen up.

*** sista lovin right here***

Chic and I used to RUN barefoot across the rocks at the trailer, honestly we would sprint to see who could get to the beach the fastest. Not like it mattered tho mom and dad always made us wait...they would take their sweeeet time laaaa deee daaa, you know how parents tend to do that as their in relax mode. But this didnt change anything for us, everytime we would still run and run and run to see who could get there first. ya know that good ol competitive sibling nature. Theyd give us the nod when they got close enough and we jumped in that water as quickly as we could. We would swim to the other side of the river and whoevers cottage it was, but he had a dock. We had to be pretty sneaky cause sometimes he would come down and yell at us. 

Little did he know, we knew the patterns of the rocks to climb up his place, and obviously we would just start diving and diving some more. 

We’d be practicing our flips and shouting ‘hey watch this one” you know how kids always tend to do cause their so excited to show off their cool new moves!

 The feel of the rocks, the grass, than the sand, and the water, it’s a pretty beautiful gift we have to experience all these sensations in only a few minutes.  

Remember how good it used to feel running for no reason? 

Like pheobe on friends?

just running with no care in the world, now thats authentic livin. 

Its actually healthy for our development and fluid functioning for us to blow off some steam, for everyone, get that natural adrenaline out every so often, punch a bag or go for a run, whatever works for you, its your body and you know better than anyone else what outlets work for you. 

Touch, well we all know where this sense can lead us...lets talk about sex baby,

but actually no thats a whole nother topic for a different day. 

More importantly sex wasnt meant for what some of us think. Sex is actually something very special and sacred. And for women we are allowing a mans energy into our body and we need to be aware that this is actually a big deal. Sex is not meant to be expolited like it is advertised today. 

Women we gotta protect our energy at times. **Thank you MS for this amazing insight, you're wonderful and keep on singing girl!*** and men with other men should really consider this to. 

When another person enters your energy field it can shift you unconsciously emotionally and physically.

Touch can be non sexual and yet still intimate. An ancient Indian tradition is to rub sesame oil over your body and massage your limbs one by one, start to investigate your own body intimately and im not talking about in a sexual manner so get your mind outta the gutter because thats where it tends to go when this conversation is mentioned.  Massage your feet, rub your arms, feel your skin, this is all part of you and your skin has a ton of nerves attached that want a little love and nourishment sometimes. 

 Notice if you go over a body part like your arm or nose or whatever it is for ya, are you judging yourself? 

 These are only your OWN judgements and those thoughts really dont belong in your mind anyways. **You are amazing! Re train your mind to stop judging yourself* Take it easy and remember you’re doin the best you can. Honestly it works! Keep telling yourself how much you love you! *** also important to do your shadow work, you can’t have fake positivity floating around all the time, eventually you’ve gotta look deeper, this is how to reach true happiness. Investigate the dark in order to get to the light***

*If ya wanna try for fun one night cut up some onions, grab a pair of tight socks, put it all together and go to sleep. 

You’d be amazed at the amount of toxins that come out of your body at night when doing this. Because hey our feet are attached to all the others parts of our body to.   

You can also touch others intimately and again not in a sexual manner. 

Give someone else a massage, honestly it will make their day because touch is sacred and special. Notice how good you feel after a massage, and how relaxed you feel.

Take some time to slow down and feel your body, explore it and get comfortable with, Its important to cherish it and treat our body respectfully. It is our body and we deserve to to love it, every bit of it. This is something I am still working on but it is really helping allowing me to just be more free, dance around like ya just dont care, put your hands together for a nice little prayer, explore your limbs and how they move differently. 

We have this notion that touch is only meant to be used in a sexual manner and this really is not the case. 

Massage your feet, they will appreciate it. 

Our bodies are all uniquely beautiful and our soul thrives off this connection, feeling safe and comfortable with yourself and others

Our bodies are incredible eh!  And i havent even gotten into the actually anatomy of it.

PSYCH! i will not be doing that, i commend all of you who know each and every bone and muscle etc, thats actually super important information to educate ourselves on, but whose got the time unless thats your main study.

Our senses are very influential on us. 

Our senses actually have the ability to snap us out of our thinking process, and lets face it, sometimes we all need that

***remember your emotions are the clouds in the sky, and they come, they go, they pass, but its the blue sky underneath, that's who you REALLY are***

Our senses restore memories, memories that we honestly didnt know we would ever recall, and this experience can bring you right back into that moment, good or bad, so its important to try and learn our triggers. Lets all get a little proactive with our emotional health and get ahead of it, when you start telling your body whose the boss, your soul returns back to its true nature.

**also did we ever find out who was the boss? Angela or tony? is that debate still going on?***

I remember having a fresh blackberry from this garden place up the road, and honestly it was theeeee besst ever.

 It took me right back to the first moment i had ever tried one that was fresh off the tree. I instantly was brought back to my friends cottage that sat on the lake, the bunkee that all the kids would sleep in and the layout of the landscape. In an instant it all came back, it was very profound.  

**also gotta add, "feelin so fresh right now we should call ourselves the Fabreeze sisters" There he is again, ferell, except im changing the brothers to sisters because thats the bond i relate to the most.***

All of our senses can connect us to something deeper

All of our senses impact us much more than we give them credit for

I recommend attending a silent retreat and through the week notice how your senses heighten when you are muted. There is no room for people pleasing, fake smiles or inauthentic conversations, this is time just for you. and i highly to recommend trying this experience. You will most likely notice your surroundings much more, and this time allows you to appreciate the smaller things

. ***Costa Rica, Howler monkeys every where yes yes super cool! 

but whats also interesting is how much more the entire community noticed them when we were silent. 

We all stopped and watched them, silently. We noticed their patterns more and also how they grab the mangos, they eat a few bites that are ripe and than they drop the rest on the ground, so loook out from ABOVE!***

TBC: to much content for one day! 

Everybody Love Everybody