#howner

[parasitic-saint]

when a she/he butch and a he/him butch are in the same room (inspiration always strikes when @zombified-queer mentions butch hotel)

[filthyguts]

also posting these separate of the original meme thread LOL

[zombified-queer]

"Do I drink her?" is a WILD fucking line coming from the on-again off-again birdman the cosmic horror literally made a whole little coffeeshop au about just to watch him.

[funnywormz]

please  “you know when i was little, i always thought my toys would come alive when i’m not around like they would in Toy Story. i still think they do.”  but with howner lol

"You know, when I was little, I always thought my toys would come alive when I wasn't around like they do in Toy Story. Sometimes I still think they do."

"What?"

She's grinning at him. Blood trickles down from the gash in her skull to stain her teeth red. It's not a friendly smile. She's mocking him, speaking of things he doesn't understand. He grunts softly. "When were you ever little? You're not a guest. And I certainly can't imagine you playing with toys."

In the past he wouldn't have dared to be this blunt with her, for fear of her wrath. She just laughs at him, her eyes twinkling. "Oh, there's plenty you don't know about me, dear. And I still play with toys!" Her hands snake around his arm, her fingers long, nails like claws. Her voice deepens to a purr. "You and the others are like my little toys, of course."

There's no argument or rebuttal to be made, so he just grumbles. His heart still beats in his chest, fluttering like a caged bird, and he can feel his face flushing with heat. Usually he resents his decay, but he resents this even more. Especially since he knows she notices it.

"I suppose we're your toys come to life, then?"

"Oh darling, I wouldn't exactly call it life." She giggles. "And anyway, you can't really be anywhere where I'm not, where I can't see you, so it's not really an apt comparison... I wonder what would happen if I left you somewhere that I couldn't see..."

It's not a question, and certainly not one posed to him. The more he thinks about it, the more he's unsure that he can even comprehend being somewhere that she isn't. He has only ever existed under her gaze, inside of her. Part of her, yet separate, a cold reflection of her own vibrant deadly starlight.

"You know, I can't always keep track of myself. Perhaps somewhere there's a version of you I can't see, and maybe he does come to life outside of my gaze." Her voice is quiet. He wets his lips with his tongue, unsure how to respond, or if a response is even required of him. Her blood is soaking his suit, now. It's warm...

"... I'm just a toy, though. This version of me." He ventures.

"Perhaps. I think so, dear." Her eyes refocus on him and she pouts in faux sympathy, patting his arm. "Don't worry yourself too much about it, OK? I can't have you fretting yourself into an existential crisis."

She giggles again. Whatever strange thoughtful moment it was that had passed over her, it's gone again now. "You don't even know what Toy Story is, do you? Perhaps I should let you three watch a film or two sometime. It could be good for you. Give you something to relate to the guests over."

"I would rather not... Relate to the guests." His lip curls in disgust at the thought. "And where are the other two? Usually the Manager would be at her desk, but she's..." He looks around. He hadn't even thought about where he was before now, or the appearance of the lobby, but suddenly he's noticing it, like the world is coming into focus around him.

The lobby is a large wooden room tonight, with stone floors and a crackling hearth in a brick fireplace. The walls are lined with shelves. He can't see a desk, or a closet door. The realisation sends a cold shiver down his spine, one he can't fully explain. All along the shelves, dolls and toys stare down at him. They're completely still, and yet there is intent behind those beady eyes which twinkle in the firelight.

Her blood on his suit has gone cold.

She isn't beside him anymore. She's perched in a decadent armchair by the fireplace, her blood running down the armrests. Below her, on the stony floor, three dolls stand in a circle. He hates himself for it but he pads quietly to her side, like a loyal dog.

The dolls are nutcrackers, with staring eyes and huge teeth and fluffy beards glued to their wooden skin. As he watches, they shift and creak and begin to walk.

Soon they're stiffly marching up and down in bodies which were not made for movement, and yet move regardless. The wood of their bodies buckles and cracks, shedding splinters on the ground. Their jaws clack and judder with the movement.

"Why do you make them walk?" He says, suddenly, in a voice so quiet and distant it almost surprises him. "Why not let them just be toys?"

She turns to face him. She's rotting now. Her blood is coming in intermittent thick black spurts, and her lower jaw is slack, her blue dress slick with fluid and loose around her caving body. Dimly he is aware of his own decay setting in. His skin is shrivelling and pulling away from his teeth, his hair falling to his feet to expose the ivory of his skull. He can hear her speaking, but her jaw doesn't move.

"I think it's fun when they move, darling. It's entertaining."

The wooden legs of one of the nutcrackers snap under its unnatural movement, and it falls. It jitters and writhes on the ground, like a beetle stuck on its back.

"Can't you see it's hurting them, though?" He bristles. His own legs are beginning to crumble under his weight and he grips the armchair to stay upright. "Why would you give life to something that wasn't made for it, something that can't cope with it?"

Slowly she reaches over to him, stroking his cheek gently. "Oh, dear..."

Her face splits into a grin. His vision tunnels, fading into blackness. "Because it's ever so fun to watch them break, of course."

[thehotelpod]

is this what the Hotel herself calls the Owner? like when he’s yelling and killing people? maybe. he would hate it.

[pyrotechnicdarts]

kind of obsessed with the way the hotel talks about the owner

[klowncrunch]

I love staff becomes human fanfic so much, I'm gonna need you to hear me out here.

Hotel herself becomes human fanfic.

It's not that she's scared persay but can you imagine being basically this cosmic entity who gets to play god all the time and suddenly you're. Just a person? You understand person hood on a level no one ever will but at the same time you barely know your own pain. You're no better of a person now that you lost all your power. It's just that you're a person who can be brought down now.

Though the best part of the hotel is she acts the way she does because she's so powerful. I just think the concept of "all powerful blorb becomes just a lady, still an asshole tho. Brings joy. "

[subsequentibis]

redraw of a german horror/pulp magazine cover that Spoke To Me

https://www.comics.org/issue/539859/cover/4/

[keepcalmandcarriefischer]

Youw howner. My cwient is widdowally innocent

[tropicalscream]

Thank u for eating th rosemary for my revenge 💞❤️

*through a mouth of rosmary*

"yuf arw welcome huwn. ifvwill mewer let uwr howner be beesmirked"

[parasitic-saint]

dont miss their showww!!!!

[filthyguts]

doodle on the train

[zombified-queer]

Butch Hotel/Femme Owner probably wouldn't fix their whole Divorced-With-Benefits thing but we should try it anyway.

[starrahcoolership]

avalos house like the real founder and howner of Westin hotels and resorts. Mom and pops not interested forever!!!!

[funnywormz]

15 the owner

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

howner without a doubt! there's something abt the dynamic of "ethereal and terrifying gigantic omnipotent eldritch horror woman building x grumpy introspective middle aged bird creature who does paperwork for fun" that's so fun to me. i'm not super invested in it as a ship but i still like it a lot. i like it when she teases and toys with him <3 their dynamic sits on the fence between romance and "cat playing with its prey before it kills it" and i think it's very fun

[antiloreolympus]

4 Anti LO Asks

1. being plus sized was not fashionable in Ancient Greece, so anon is wrong. Average woman would be skinny (mainly because less food to eat); high rich women could afford more food and yes, being very skinny was not sexy like it is today, but being plus size was not attractive either. Just look at any Aphrodite statue, she is not plus sized. She got tummy rolls, round face sometimes and other features like that, but she was never depicted as plus size. This because an anon said LO characters should be plus size to be historically accurate.

2. ok thats also what i dont get? what powers does lo hades even have barring flying (why ... have hermes work for him then? why have cars then? he looks stupid just floating around but ok) because the only powers i see is he can kill plants, which considering rachel keeps implying persephone IS like a plant and is being corrupted by the underworld does that mean??? hades can kill her??? i dont think she thinks any of this out because wow all the world building and lore is like, anti hxp in a way.

3. I'm going to be honest, i don't mind Semele being despicted as a "party girl" or at least as someone who enjoys parties, i think is kinda cute that he and Dionysus would have thay in common, the problem is how RS make her like that so she would look unlikeable and her "crazy princess" personality seemed kinda out of nowhere. Also how she literally showed up just ONE time and is never mentioned again, there is literally no mention of her after that and i feel like they only introduced her so she would give birth to Dionysus and then die, so Hades and Persephone can adopt the baby as a "punishment" from Zeus -_-

Because i can totally see RS only putting Semele here so she can pull a plot twist that Persephone can't fix Hades infertility so they will be forced to adopt Zeuse's bastard. Witch honestly, i think that's why RS isn't putting any work on her, because she doesn't want people to sympathize with her, because at the end her only role in the story will be being Hades and Persephone's sons biological mother.

That's why RS showed her saying that she wants to burn her castle to annoy her dad, because how could posible a young party mortal princess that is having a relationship with a married god, that she completely knows he is married and wants to literally burn things because she is bored, be a good mother??? Come on! this baby is for sure going to be more happy and better raised if this teen goddess and her blue old slave howner husband adopts him.

4. re: age gap: her being immortal makes it worst because at least in LO it seems to imply actual maturity grows much slower with immortals than in humans, because hades being 2000+ years old is basically "middle aged" to immortals, so wouldnt that mean persephone is basically a child to them? it matches with how childish and immature she acts, but that means shes far from being mature enough to being married and being queen. thats rushing it even for a human, but even more for her, IMHO.