#hslot2018:msg

[hes-woman]

With All My Heart

*At 2K+ words, this is the longest piece I think I’ve ever written, and possibly my favourite. I was going to hold off on posting until I had something else written, buuuut it’s the last show tonight, and this is based nearly a month ago. So, here’s a huge amount of fluff, from msg night one, which just so happened to also be their anniverary.*

Sat on the edge of the stage, legs dangling over the side as they swayed back and forth, Harry could see the whole of the stadium, from the pit a few feet away from his swinging feet to the seats at the very back. It was a stark contrast to the restricted view of the crowd he'd had less than two hours ago, the only evidence of there being people present past the first few rows being the loud cheers that bounced off the walls.  

Looking around the stadium, he felt small. Without the company of his previous bandmates or that of his current band, the space surrounding him seemed so much larger and more intimidating. There wasn't much time to contemplate the size of the stadium when he was performing, too pumped on adrenaline to pay mind to the feeling of apprehension bubbling within him.  

He felt a tad lonely, as well, although he was aware that he was partially to blame for that fact, if not fully. He'd denied your usual post-concert cuddles, that more often than not turned into a pretty heavy make out session. He'd denied the beer offered to him by Adam, along with the invitation of an evening in the bar a few streets away. He'd denied anyone the chance to properly congratulate him before he slipped back onto the stage. He'd denied himself the comfort of another person's company, with the motive of keeping to himself for a while, to clear his head and sit back in a moment of gratitude. 

"Hey, mister, I was beginning to wonder where you'd got to," you called over to him from the side of the stage. You were clad in a merch shirt that was a few sizes too big and displaying ‘6/21 New York’ at the bottom, tucked into a pair of jeans, your hair in a bun and nothing but a pair of socks on your feet, the vans which you'd previously worn hanging off your fingertips.  

His head snapped up to meet yours, a slightly solemn expression on his face until he noticed the way your features were lit up with a grin on your face. A small smile spread across his own face as he gestured for you to join him, laughing as you seemed to trip over everything in your path, which earned him a glare.

"I think everyone's headed back to the hotel now; well, the rest of the band and most of the crew, at least. I think your mum's nearly ready to go, as well. 'M feeling very awake tonight, though, so I was wondering if you fancied going out for a bite to eat?"

He nodded, leaning his head onto your thigh as you rested your hand on his head lightly to stop yourself toppling over from the added pressure. "I'm not surprised you're awake – tossed and turned all night and then slept in until past noon," he snorted, dodging your attempts to swat the back of his head, "But, yeah, I'm up for food. Saw you eyeing up those burgers in the diner across the road from the hotel earlier, s'that what you want?"

"That's a great shout, actually, sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself," you laughed, accepting the hand he offered to help you sit down next to him. You positioned yourself so you were facing him, legs crossed and fiddling with the laces on your feet. "You've been unusually quiet since you came offstage, something troubling you?" The shake of his head you received in response prompted you to continue further, "You don't have to be happy all the time, y'know? Just 'cause you're doing something you enjoy doesn't mean that you're not allowed to feel a bit down sometimes. And, I think you forget that I can see through your façade, H, you're not exactly a very quiet person, usually."

"Just feeling a little overwhelmed," he started, unable to dodge your gaze or questions, "Six years seems like a really long time, but I've experienced things in those six years that most people don't experience in their lifetime. Last time we were here, things were so different. We weren't together, you didn't even come to see me," he paused momentarily when you let out a little scoff of disapproval, "yes, I know, you came to support all of us, but now you're here just for me. And, you're my wife this time, pregnant with my baby, as well. It's strange being back here on my own."

"You've achieved so much in these past six years, and so much hard work has gone into that. Everyone here tonight came for you, you've earned the support of every single one of them. Out in the crowd tonight, the atmosphere was crazy, and I know I'm a little biased but I don't think I've ever been part of such a united group of people. I thought I was proud of you, but I'm no match for your mum, I don't think I've seen her cry so much until tonight," you told him, glad to see the grin had returned to his face, "And I couldn't think of a better way to spend our anniversary than watching you have the time of your life on the stage of probably the most famous arenas."

"I've been a bit of a shitty husband, haven't I? So consumed with nerves and adrenaline that I've barely even paid any attention to you," he frowned, an exaggerated pout on his lips as he pulled you onto his lap, adjusting your knees so they rested either side of his body, "Just been a bit of an idiot and come and sulked out here, when we should be out celebrating."

"Don't be silly, I don't need anything fancy. I'm happy just going out for burgers and milkshakes, and then having a nice long bath when we get back to the hotel."  

"Now, that, I can do. Might have to stop in a shop somewhere and get some bubble bath and stuff. Feel like we should definitely be doing something more special for our five-year anniversary, though, or our first wedding anniversary, whichever way you want to see it."

"We can always go out tomorrow, or even the day after. Properly celebrate you performing here for two nights, as well as our anniversary. Then I'll have your full attention; can't be having you drifting off into your own thoughts every ten minutes," you teased, twirling the small curls at the nape of his neck in your fingers.

"I missed you tonight, y'know? I very much enjoyed our early afternoon cuddles, feel like I haven't seen you since, though," he grumbled, arms firmly wrapping around your back as he pulled you closer to him. He left minimum space in between the two of you, your chest, covered with a t-shirt presenting an enlarged picture of his face on it, pressed tightly to his.  

"I'm not the one who disappeared for nearly an hour," you pointed out, peppering kisses along the expanse of his neck as you rested your cheek on his shoulder. You ignored the slight aftertaste of salt that came with it, evidence of the sweat that once beaded on his skin. "You took away my opportunity to appreciate these bell-bottoms of yours. Never thought I could find someone wearing such things so hot, but you always manage to surprise me."

A small smirk tugged at the corners of his mouth at your declaration; your fingers pulled at the bow hanging on his chest, diverting your gaze from his. He nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck, using his nose to nudge your face upwards as he nibbled playfully at your jaw. You turned to face him again, your scrunched nose acting as a silent reprimand of leaving marks in obvious places. Lifting your hand to push him away, you were met with his tongue licking a long stripe up the palm of your hand, your instincts kicking in and causing you to jerk your hand away, wiping the sticky residue on the shoulder of his shirt.  

"Sorry, baby," he laughed, lips pressing to yours in a half-arsed attempt to stop you narrowing your eyes at him, ending in teeth bashing together due to his inability to stop laughing. He pulled at your jutted-out bottom lip with his thumb, simultaneously giving you the biggest grin possible, "Stop frowning at me. Can't have anyone be seeing that and thinking I make you angry on our anniversary."

"Stop licking me then," you protested, but let him wrap his arms back around you, "And I'm surprised you haven't given me a nosebleed with how hard you knocked into me, give me some warning next time, yeah?"

"What would be the fun in that?" He teased, thumbs sliding into the waistband of your jeans, "I'm really glad you're here with me; I get lonely when you're not. I had a whole speech planned out when I got home from the last leg, full of hundreds of reasons why you should join me on this one, must have rehearsed it in my head at least fifty times on the plane home. I think Jeffrey was beginning to get annoyed with me, kept going on about how I'd forced him to get on a plane he hadn't wanted to and then wouldn't speak to him. You have no idea how glad I was when you said you were coming with me – I don't know if I could've built up the courage to ask you to drop everything for me again, especially after the argument that followed the last time we had a conversation along those lines."

You stretched your arm out over his shoulder, leaning your head on the inside of your bicep and straightening your legs as you began to feel a gentle ache spreading in your limbs but not wanting to interrupt what he was saying. You were pretty content to just sit there and listen to the low tone of his voice, appreciative of the up-close angle you received. From where you were, you could clearly see the slight stubble present just above his cupid's bow, and the strands of hair which refused to co-operate with the rest. It amazed you how, even from this close, it was near impossible to pin-point any kind of flaw or imperfection. 

His line of view met yours in an intense adoration, almost as if his gaze was burning into your own, implanting the thoughts and feelings currently circulating in his head into your mind. His eyes never left yours, yet he was oblivious to your not-so-subtle scope of his face.

"I think some of my favourite memories of us come from being in a foreign country. Exploring new places we've never seen before, getting lost more often than not; sitting in small restaurants on beachfronts and tasting local cuisine, always being sure to finish every last bite even if it's not to our personal taste; travelling from country to country with nothing but each other and a book or two to entertain ourselves. I couldn't think of anyone better to travel the world with than my best friend, wife, mother of my child, the face in the crowd I look for to keep me firmly placed on the ground, and that's just the beginning of a long list of titles you hold. I'm so excited for us to feel our way through the next chapter of our lives together, but I'm glad we've had this time with each other, along with the next month or so to come, away from our more structured life, to properly soak up the time we have left of just being us. Harry and Y/N. Husband and Wife. If I could, I'd get married to you all over again, without hesitation, 'cause our wedding day was by far the best day of my life to date. Not even performing in stadiums like these could even come close to taking that spot. Happy anniversary, I love you, with all my heart, and don't you ever forget that."

Tears welled in your eyes as you listened to the words he spoke, ones which held so much love and emotion that it was as if they sent out waves of infatuation and intimacy. Moisture gathered on your cheeks, which Harry was quick to brush away with the soft swipe of his thumb. The lump in your throat was too immense, and the tightening of your chest was too great, for you to muster up the courage to utter a response, lacking trust towards how coherent of a reply your mouth would produce, instead settling for attaching your lips to his in a desperate, breath-taking reciprocation of affection. You pulled back, foreheads connecting as you both attempted to regain composure over your breathing.  

"You're too good with words, H. Makes my heart hurt."