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[nowplayingblog]

why do you hate atyd

every time i get this question i try to be really nice and diplomatic about it, but why? anyway, i have a few reasons. so… sorry this is long.

the depiction of greyback and his pack with the stereotypes of irish travelers being dirty, and uncivilized is just plain wrong, and it's damaging to travelers in real life to keep the depiction going. it’s inherently racist. full stop.

i absolutely hate the head canon that remus is an angry person. not that he doesn’t have anger, and not that he shouldn’t be angry for the position he was in/the way he was treated growing up in that fic. i understand why he was so angry given his background but i HATE it. and in my head he just isn’t that way, so i have a hard time reading him depicted like that.

ugh it’s just so depressing. and i get that that’s mostly because it’s canon compliant (and fuck joanne for not thinking about these characters at all and just using them as plot devices turning their whole era into something that is basically a greek tragedy) but i fucking hate it. god, it’s fan fiction!!! we can do ANYTHING! we can make them do anything we want and instead we just feed them into the canon compliant depressing bullshit over and over again. and why? why do we hate ourselves so much that we took this fucking bullshit jkr fed us and just repeat her stupid ass canon? idk, if you like canon compliant fics good for you. and it’s not that i don’t like angst, because i do but this canon is just not it fam.

there are SO MANY good, long fics that aren’t canon compliant. but atyd is all anyone ever talks about… like it’s the fucking bible or some shit and i’m just so god damn sick of it, honestly.

so anyways now that i’ve probably pissed a bunch of atyd stans off i’m gonna go. :)

[nowplayingblog]

This will be a complete list of the charities mentioned in the 'Two Things I Love' series. As the story gets updated, more charities will be added to the list.

Please let me know if any of these charities or the information I have included regarding what they do or even the topic at hand are wrong, disreputable, or bad. I will look into it, issue an apology and find a better charity to donate to and include on this list (if it's an issue with the charity) and/or change the information presented (if it's an issue with the information)

Charities for Transgender People (United Kingdom)

Mermaids: A UK-based charity that supports transgender, non-bianary, or gender non-conforming children and young people up to the age of 20, with resources in place to help up to the age of 25. The seek to connect transgender children with one another, to introduce them to others like themselves and provide education and healthcare related to transgender issues.

Gender Identity Research and Education Society (GIRES): works on getting information regarding scientific research into gender identity, and educates with intent to improve trans and gender-diverse people’s wellbeing.

Press for Change: leading experts in UK transgender law, provide legal advice, training, and research to trans people. Addresses both immediate individual legal needs and societal needs.

Charities for the Prevention, Treatment, and Care for People with HIV/AIDS

Housing Works: takes on the twin epidemic of homelessness and HIV, providing housing, healthcare, HIV treatment, and HIV prevention.

Elton John AIDS Foundation: focuses on ending HIV/AIDS Epidemic by 2030, providing treatment, fighting stigma, and preventing transmission.

Black AIDS Institute: focuses on preventing and treating HIV in African American communities, including Black gay and bisexual men who are at a greater risk of transmission/infection.

[nowplayingblog]

Turn and Face the Strange

Read on AO3

Summary:

November 16, 1981

The day Sirius and Remus realize just how much one day can change everything.

-

Part 1 in the Two Things I Love series: An exploration of how things change when Remus and Sirius raise Harry, how our pasts can inform our present, and a new take on Harry Potter Cannon.

November 16, 1981

Remus wasn’t used to having so many things. The flat he and Sirius had shared before all of this happened was very small, and they had never gotten around to filling it with furniture and belongings. Before that, money had been tight when he was growing up in the welsh countryside, and he had learned to make the most out of very little. But now there were boxes piled high outside of their new home, containing everything one Sirius Black could think to buy, and Remus almost felt like it wasn’t enough. They were responsible for raising a child, money was not an issue, and their new house - Newthaven, Dumbledore had called it - would be where they lived for the rest of their lives. They needed a lot of things now.

Newthaven was an old cottage tucked into the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole, well withdrawn from both the wizarding and muggle worlds. They were close enough to the muggle town that they could easily walk to the shops when they needed, but far enough that they didn’t need to worry about nosy neighbors. As for their fellow wizards, Ottery St. Catchpole had no wizarding households, save for one. It wasn’t likely they would be spotted while they were out and about, which was important, because Remus and Sirius were now the guardians of perhaps the most famous wizard of their age.

The house itself was on the small side. The exterior walls were made of cobblestone covered in cracked yellow stucco and overgrown ivy. The roof was thatched, and some of the window panes were broken- Remus made a mental note of that particular issue, as winter was right around the corner, and they would need to be fixed soon. The house hadn’t served its purpose as a home for quite some time, and was in need of many repairs, but for now, what they really needed to focus on was moving in. Boxes of furniture, most newly purchased, though some were leftover from their flat, were stacked outside the house. Remus had been tasked with taking the boxes inside, and placing them in their designated rooms, while Sirius entertained little Harry in the barren living room. 

“Wingardium Leviosa.” Remus lifted one more box into the air to join the three others that would float behind him when he went into the house. These would be placed in the dining area, as well as the five smaller, more delicate boxes, which he had cast a feather-light charm on and carried on his own.

He took a deep, calming breath before he went inside. Harry had not been having a good day. He had not been having a good couple of weeks, which was understandable, but today he had been crying ever since they arrived at Newthaven and the constant screams and shouts of ‘No!’ were beginning to wear on Remus’s nerves.

The living room was right inside the front door. It was empty, save for a few of the boxes Remus had brought in earlier, his boyfriend, and his best friends’ child. Sirius was sitting on the floor with Harry. He was propped up against the wall, his legs crossed, with Harry sitting on his lap. The boy was crying his little heart out, his face scrunched up with emotion and bright red as he wailed and wailed. Sirius was trying in vain to distract him with little bubbles coming out of the end of his wand, but Harry was not to be consoled. 

“Could you fill his sippy cup with water?” Sirius asked Remus as he walked past. “I’m afraid he’s going to get dehydrated.”

Remus gave an affirmative hum, and Sirius held out the cup for him to take.

“No!” screeched Harry, reaching to hit the cup out of Sirius’s hand, Remus grabbed it just in time.

Newthaven, being as small as it was, had a simple layout. The living room was the largest room in the house, with dark hardwood floors and walls adorned with floral patterns, similar to the one Remus remembered in his parents' bedroom growing up. An archway led into the kitchen, which was just big enough to also function as the dining area. It had tile floors, wooden cabinets with linoleum countertops, and outdated appliances which Remus had been shocked to discover still worked just fine. There was a narrow staircase that led up to Harry’s nursery in the attic from the kitchen. The nursery was a decent size for a child’s bedroom, with slanted ceilings and big windows with a bird’s eye view of the property. Behind the stairs was Remus and Sirius’s bedroom, just large enough to hold their bed, two nightstands, and an armoire. It was cozy and it didn’t take long for Remus to memorize the layout.

He dropped off the boxes in the dining area and went to the sink, but when he turned the knob, no water came out of the faucet. He heaved a sigh of frustration. Remus could hear Harry crying from here. He tried a few more times to no avail.

“The sink is broken,” Remus said, as he reentered the living room.

Sirius took a deep breath, pinching his nose. “Just use Aguamenti.” 

“We’ll have to fix it eventually,” Remus insisted, pointing his wand at the sippy cup. “Aguamenti.”

The cup filled with water and he handed it back to Sirius.

“I know,” Sirius said, “But we have to prioritize. Here Harry, have a drink.”

Remus made his way back outside. He allowed himself to admire the scenery for a moment, savoring the relative quiet. Autumn had painted the trees brilliant reds and oranges. Twisted dead bushes lined the path that led up towards the house. Remus thought the beautiful weather was a cruel irony, but he was eager to see what it all would look like in the spring, when everything would be alive and overgrown.

He took a few deep breaths before levitating and charming a few more boxes. It was all beginning to overwhelm him. It had only been a few weeks since their lives had been changed completely. Remus had no idea, and very little past experience in calming Harry down from a temper tantrum. When Remus came back inside it was to find Harry’s sippy cup had been thrown across the room. Sirius had his eyes closed as he took a deep breath through his nose, his head tilted toward the ceiling. Harry was laying on the floor, screaming and kicking his feet.

Upon seeing Remus enter the room, Harry got up and toddled over to him sobbing. He reached his hands up toward Remus, his tiny fists making grabbing motions. The pale lightning scar on his forehead stood out against the angry red of his face. Remus remembered when he had first seen Harry with the large, jagged cut on his little face, in his disheveled nursery.

He remembered the two bodies on the floor he had seen that same night.

Remus shook his head, dispelling the unwanted thoughts and set down the boxes. He hoisted Harry up into his arms.

Remus bounced him soothingly as Harry cried into Remus’s jumper. Remus rested his cheek against the boy’s soft black curls. It wasn’t Harry Remus was frustrated with, not at all. He loved Harry more than he had ever thought possible, and it was hard seeing him so upset and not knowing what could possibly help.

Sirius looked worn out. As frustrated as Remus was, Sirius had been with Harry this whole time, trying and failing to get him to stop crying. Remus thought he must be at his wits end.

“He’s probably tired,” Remus said.

“I don’t doubt it,” Sirius ran a hand over his face, meeting Remus’s eyes. “He hasn’t slept much since…”

He didn’t finish his sentence. Remus appreciated it.

“Why don’t you go up to his nursery and get his cot set up?” Remus suggested, wanting to give Sirius some reprieve. “That way once we get him to sleep we can just lay him down and not have to worry about it. I’ll handle him for now.”

“That sounds good,” Sirius said, giving Remus a grateful smile. “Where’s the cot?”

“Should be up in the nursery in one of the boxes.”

Sirius went upstairs, and Remus turned his attention to the boy in his arms. He made soft shushing sounds, and bounced him as he walked around. “Oh Harry,” he said, “What’s the matter?”

Harry gave no response, other than to cry even more.

“Why are you crying?” Remus cooed. He wasn’t expecting answers, but he knew that just talking to Harry could help. “Are you tired sweetheart?”

“Which box?” Sirius called down.

“The big one,” Remus called up. “It should have a picture of it on the side, it’s the same box it came in.”

Sirius didn’t say anything after that, which Remus hoped meant that he had found it and no longer needed Remus’s help.

Harry’s cries had softened a little, and he sat up slightly in Remus’s arms. Tears still trailed down his cheeks. They weren’t quite out of the woods. Remus kept walking around, bouncing him lightly.

He tried to think of what James and Lily did whenever he had seen them comforting Harry when he was distraught like this. Though, he couldn’t recall ever seeing Harry this upset when his parents were still… here. He reached down and picked up Harry’s sippy cup from where the boy had thrown it earlier.

“Do you want to drink some water now?” Remus asked gently, offering him the drink. Harry accepted it, to Remus’s delight, momentarily stopping the upset noises he was making when he took a sip, though he was still crying.

He remembered one time when he visited Lily and she was putting Harry down for a nap. He was upset, unhappy with being awake, but not wanting to go to sleep either. She had tucked Harry into her arms, holding him as though he was still a newborn and rocked him back and forth, side to side, patting his back firmly until he quieted.

“This always works,” She’d said to him. “You just gotta manhandle him to sleep.”

“You would think that would have the opposite effect,” Remus had laughed.

“I think it makes him feel more secure. It’s why swaddling works with newborns.”

Remus figured it was worth a shot.

Harry had given up on his sippy cup. Remus hoped Harry’s relative calm meant that he could get him to settle down and go to sleep quickly and easily.

He laid Harry back in his arms, holding him tightly, hoping it made him feel more secure, and tucked his arms and legs in around him. But before he could even begin to rock him, Harry screamed louder than Remus had heard all day. Remus tried bouncing him, patting his back, walking around, but Harry screeched in rage, and his cries grew even louder. 

“No!” Harry cried.

Remus sighed and sat Harry back up in his arms - clearly Lily’s trick wasn’t going to work. 

He was back to square one. The boy’s constant cries were beginning to grate on his nerves. Remus was frustrated at his lack of ability to be what Harry needed. He had no way of knowing what was making Harry so upset, and no way of knowing what would make things better.

Sirius must have sensed his dilemma, no doubt he could still hear Harry crying from up there. “Maybe try holding him with his back against your chest,” He called down. “James used to do that and it always got him to quiet down. I think he likes to see everything.”

Remus remembered something similar, how James would hold him facing outward when Harry was upset, and it turned out all he really wanted all along was to be able to see what was around him.

“Likes to be in command - always has to have the high ground,” James had said. “Can’t wait until he’s old enough to play Quidditch, he’ll be a little Seeker, I just know it.”

Desperate for anything to work, he turned Harry so he was facing outward. Unfortunately, this seemed to upset Harry even more. He threw himself backward against Remus’s chest, straightening his legs. It made it nearly impossible for Remus to keep a hold of him. He set Harry back on the ground, where the boy laid down and continued to cry in earnest.

“No!”

Remus sank down to the floor next to him. A lump formed in his throat. He had never seen Harry like this, ever. Not even on the night Remus found him in his cot in his nursery just steps away from where his mother lay sprawled out on the ground. He didn’t know what could be causing him to be this upset - whether it was because Harry was approaching the supposed ‘terrible twos’, or if he was just so miserable staying with Remus and Sirius he couldn’t handle it. 

He wished James and Lily were here.

They weren’t here. Remus remembered the way Sirius had cried over the dead body of his best friend, both draped over the stairs Remus climbed to find Lily’s corpse and the body of the man who killed them.

Merlin, Remus wasn’t equipped for this. He couldn’t be enough for Harry. 

And that was it, wasn’t it, Remus realised as his breaths came faster and tears pricked behind his eyes. Harry wanted his parents. Every time they tried something Lily or James would have done, Harry became more upset, it reminded him of what he wanted but couldn’t have. 

Remus and Sirius could never be James and Lily. Harry knew this.

Remus hid his face in his hands as Harry continued to scream and cry in front of him, and he choked on a sob.

Remus felt a hand on his back, rubbing in soothing circles. Sirius was sitting next to him, having finished setting up the cot upstairs. Remus leaned into him, and Sirius placed a kiss on top of his head. They let Harry cry it out for a few moments, and eventually the boy got up and toddled up to them, still sobbing. He climbed onto Sirius’s lap, and pressed his face into his godfather’s shirt.

Remus succumbed to emotion. It was upsetting, and draining, listening to Harry scream for upwards of an hour at this point, and Remus was just now coming to terms with everything. 

James and Lily were dead. 

They were dead, and Remus and Sirius had to look after their child. They were dead, and they had to buy a house that was isolated because their love for this child had unintentionally ended a war, and that child would never have a normal life. They were dead, and Remus would never get to see them again, or talk to them, or ask them for advice. They were dead, and Remus would never truly know what they would have done to raise their son, because they would never see him grow up.

They were dead. 

Remus and Sirius were on their own. 

Remus didn’t realize how much he had been in denial until it all came crashing down. He was overwhelmed with grief. He sobbed into Sirius’s shoulder, Harry continued to cry in Sirius’s lap, and Remus felt Sirius shake with cries of his own. 

He didn’t know how long it was until he no longer heard Harry crying, and Remus could think clearly again. He looked over to Sirius, who was rubbing a soothing hand over Harry’s back. It had been a long hard day for all of them.

Remus reached over and placed a gentle hand on the back of Harry’s head, joining Sirius in comforting him. Harry gave a few tired sniffles, more calm than he had been all day. Remus was determined not to trip at the finish line.

They sat there in relative calm for several minutes, before Remus remembered a song that his mother used to sing for him when he was younger. It was in Welsh, his mother’s first language. She would sing it to him whenever she put him to sleep, or whenever he was upset.

“Huna, blentyn, ar fy mynwes,” Remus sang softly. Sirius gave him a curious look, but Remus ignored him, his eyes locked on Harry. “Clyd a chynnes ydyw hon; ... sy'n dynn amdanat,”

The boy’s gaze settled on Remus’s face. His cheeks were still wet, but Harry’s attention was all Remus’s now.

“Huna'n dawel heno, huna,” Remus continued, his voice a little fried from crying, “Huna'n fwyn, y tlws ei lun; Pam yr wyt yn awr yn gwenu.”

Remus watched as Harry’s eyelids were beginning to slide closed, half-lidded. The boy didn’t seem to be focusing on anything anymore. Remus could tell he was beginning to get drowsy. His fingers rubbed circles into Harry’s dark curls around his temples. 

“Paid ag ofni, dim ond deilen, Gura, gura ar y ddôr; Paid ag ofni, ton fach unig…” By the time Remus had finished the song, Harry was softly snoring, his head resting on Sirius’s chest.

Remus and Sirius continued to sit there long after Harry had fallen asleep. 

“Should we move him?” Sirius whispered.

Remus shook his head slowly. “No… not yet.”

So they savored the moment, sitting in their new home, which was finally silent. The three of them sat there, curled up on the floor, Harry asleep in Sirius’s lap, Remus curled around his lover, his head resting on his shoulder. He looked up at Sirius and felt an intense warmth in his heart. Sitting there together was the closest Remus had felt in the past few weeks to the three of them being a family.

After all the emotions he had just felt all at once, Remus felt like this was a reassurance from the universe. A reminder to look at what he still had and hold it close. To treasure it. To protect it.

Remus thought about what Dumbledore had said after they had gotten Harry out of Godric’s Hollow. Their old professor had lectured them about doing what was right for Harry, explaining the blood magic that would protect him if he were to go and live with the Dursleys. How Death Eaters would continue to try and hunt them down, how there was a chance Voldemort himself might even come back.

He had felt selfish at the time, Dumbledore making him feel uncertain in his ability to protect Harry, but now, as they sat there, he had never felt more certain of the boy’s place in their life. Harry would grow up loved, and safe, and Remus would fight to make sure of that.

He didn’t know how long they sat there before Sirius spoke again.

“As much as I would love to stay like this forever,” He whispered. “We should put him in his cot.”

Remus sighed, but reluctantly agreed. “Yes. We’ve got more work to do, we should take advantage of him being asleep.”

“He’ll be more comfortable in his cot anyway,” Sirius stood up, carefully clutching Harry to his chest, and slowly made his way up the stairs to the nursery.

Remus stayed on the floor for a few moments longer, leaning against the wall, his eyes closed, breathing a breath of relief.

Sirius came back down pretty soon after that. He sat down with Remus and pulled him into his arms. He kissed Remus’s cheek, and Remus tilted Sirius’s face so that their lips met. When Remus pulled away he sighed, pressing his forehead against his lover’s.

“We did it,” Remus breathed, relieved.

“Yeah,” Sirius huffed a laugh. “With a lot of trial and error.”

“I was beginning to think he would never stop crying,” he confessed.

Sirius’ let out a breathy laugh. “So was I. But we did it - you did it. Seriously Re, you were amazing.”

Remus hummed contentedly, kissing Sirius again. He pulled away and met Sirius’s eyes. “We can’t keep trying to be James and Lily,” he said, “It’s just upsetting him. We’re not them, and he knows that.”

Sirius sighed. “He’s finally starting to realize they’re not coming back.”

Remus nodded. “We can’t keep trying to be James and Lily for the rest of our lives. We need to figure out what works for us.”

“I know,” said Sirius, “I just… I don’t want Harry to forget them. I want to honor what they would have done, have Harry grow up the way they would have wanted to.”

“I know, love.” Remus held Sirius’s face in his hands. “And we can still do that. We can make sure Harry learns about the muggle world, like Lily wanted, and have Harry get his first broom when he turns five, like James always told us he would.”

Sirius laughed, and it sounded wet, his smile wobbly and his gaze distant.

“We just have to do things our own way too.” Remus finished.

“I don’t know if I’m cut out for this,” Sirius admitted.

“Me neither.”

“But,” Sirius took a deep breath, “We’ll figure it out.”

They stayed there for a while longer, before Remus nudged Sirius’s shoulder and they both stood to get back to work. There was still an entire house to be set up.

“You should take a look at the sink,” Remus said on his way out the door.

“Sure,” said Sirius, “I’ll head outside in a minute.”

Remus went outside and picked up a few more boxes. He took in the beautiful Autumn weather. Where before it felt like a cruel irony, Remus couldn’t help but feel a little uplifted. Everything was going to be okay. It may not feel like it right now, but the storm would pass, and they would come out on top.

When Remus came back inside the water was running from the sink faucet. It was a dark iron brown color, but it was getting clearer.

“It wasn’t broken,” said Sirius, who met him as they crossed paths in the doorway. “Just clogged, and a little dirty, but I’m just gonna let it go for a little while until it runs clean.”

“So I was just too impatient before?” Remus joked.

“I think in the moment it just looked like it was worse than it actually was.” said Sirius.

Sirius gave him a peck on the lips and then went outside as Remus brought his boxes to their bedroom.

Just a little more patience, Remus thought. How fitting. Things may feel bad now, but someday they’re going to get better.

[nowplayingblog]

Turn and Face the Strange, the first installment in my new Wolfstar Raises Harry series, will be released in less than a week!

I'm very excited to share my work with the world, I hope it's a fun, enjoyable experience for everyone involved.

That being said, I've seen a few posts recently talking about whether or not anyone should interact with Harry Potter at all, given the actions and views of JK Rowling.

My personal opinion is that although there are elements of the Harry Potter Canon that are highly problematic and harmful, that shouldn't stop fans from interpreting or changing canon within their own minds and fanworks.

That being said, I do not support JK Rowling, financially or otherwise. I, like many others, will no longer being buying Harry Potter books, movies, or merchandise first hand, in an effort to keep my money from going directly into JK Rowling's pockets. Instead I will chose to buy anything related to Harry Potter secondhand, or fan-made items.

However, it still felt a bit off to interact with the world of Harry Potter that has such harmful things written into the very fabric of the narrative and world. Many of these things may even inadvertently end up in my storyline, whether out of my own unawareness of an issue, or simply because its so ingrained in the story their just no way around it.

And so, I wanted to take this as an opportunity to think critically about the source material, listen to others concerns, and inform others.

In the end notes of every update in my series, I will include information on various harmful or problematic elements of canon Harry Potter - correlating to elements mentioned in that specific update.

In addition I will include links to select charities you may donate to, if you are able, that directly benefit the people harmed by these elements. I will be making donations of my own with each update.

My series is going meant to be something to be enjoyed, a way to escape, just as all fanfiction us. But I also wanted to use this opportunity to give to those who JK Rowling has tried to exclude or hurt in her books, and the platform she has gained from them.

I hope you enjoy my series.

Turn and Face the Strange will be released September 24, 2021!

[nowplayingblog]

Coming September 24, 2021...

Turn and Face the Strange

Part 1 of the 'Two Things I Love' series - a fully realised Wolfstar Raises Harry story.

November 16th, 1981

The day Sirius and Remus realize just how much one day can change everything.

[nowplayingblog]

TWO THINGS I LOVE

A Fully Realised Wolfstar-Raises-Harry Story.

Coming Soon

[nowplayingblog]

Why the charictarization of Remus Lupin matter so much to me?

A character study of Remus Lupin

Disclaimer: I think every interpretation of every character is valid and should not be torn down (further discussed in this post). The following is a discussion of how I interpret a character, and things that I (me, specifically) don't like to see when I read fic, or even in fanart in many cases, and why.

(Just a friendly reminder that if you don't like someone's interpretation of a character, you can click off the fic, or block their account. It's OK to create a happy space for yourself.)

I'll begin with the reason I decided to make this post.

I've noticed a lot in my many years of being a marauders fan that there is a generally accepted interpretation of Remus, and the way certain people in the Fandom feel about it is that this is the only acceptable interpretation.

Based on my own observations, "Fanon Remus" is:

Negative/pessimistic.

Rough around the edges.

More confident in himself.

Borderline mean to anyone who he isn't friends with.

Usually smokes (cigarettes, weed, or both) and drinks.

Perpetually sad and tragic.

Tends to come off as disinterested in everything.

Fully accepting of being a werewolf and feels there is no separation between himself and his werewolf form.

(To be fair, this list is based on how I view this interpretation of Remus so it's likely bias.)

This interpretation of Remus has seen an increase in popularity with the re-emergence of the popular fanfic All the Young Dudes by MsKingBean89.

Here's the thing - I don't take issue with this version of Remus existing, it's definitely not to my taste (and we'll get into that more later) but it's a valid interpretation of his character.

Where I take issue with this is attitudes surrounding it, and people in the Fandom trying to make me feels as though this is the canon/only interpretation of Remus there can be.

I've been on multiple platforms where fellow Wolfstar/Marauders fans have stated that they hate seeing Remus depicted as:

Shy/timid.

Not as confident in himself and his abilities.

Thankful for his friends for the simple act of being his friends.

Overall softer (both in appearance and personality).

Being kind to most people he meets.

Being physically smaller than the other boys.

Referring to his werewolf state as something that is separate from him.

These people have argued that their interpretation is back by Canon, and writing Remus any other way is out of character - but the truth is that we know very little about Canon Remus (or any of the other Marauders or characters from that era.)

However both interpretations (or rather these two generalized interpretations, as I believe everyone sees every character a little differently) address aspects of what we know about him:

He's a werewolf and he has a complicated relationship with that aspect of himself. You can either interpret it as an internal conflict where he doesn't want people to be hurt by the part of himself that he can't control, or as an external conflict where he sees himself as a threat all the time, because there isn't a definitive line where "Remus" ends and "The Wolf" starts.

When we meet him in Prisoner of Azkaban, he is a warm and inviting, if a bit unorthodox, teacher. We also later learn he was a part of a group of friends who were notorious for playing pranks. Some interpret his unorthodox teaching style and his occasional sassy-ness (seen in flashbacks and in the present plot of the books) as an indication that he was always on board with the pranks - sometimes the mastermind behind some of them - and also that he was a bit rude or mean to anyone who he wasn't friends with. Others interpret his warm and caring personality to be at the core of who he is, and that his friends taught him to be a little mischievous, sarcastic and sassy.

As I've stated several times now, both are valid interpretations. One is no more rooted in Canon than the other. (I tend not to rely on Canon too much regardless, but that another topic for another post.)

But I think the real core of my problem with "Fanon Remus" comes back to a topic that I spend a LOT of time thinking about. So much time, in fact, that I have original stories and fanworks in the works that address this very issue:

The importance placed on the "dominant" or Type A personality.

(For clarity - Type A personality means someone who is achiement-oriented, ambitious, constantly working towards success, while the Type B personality is the more passive, flexible, easy going personality. )

We tend to see dominant, Type A personalities glorified in our society. We like go-getters, leaders. We glorify CEOs, activists, people who lead change.

We see the more submissive, Type B personalities as weak, passive, lacking the strength needed to succeed in this world.

But being passive, submissive, Type B, doesn't make someone weak. You can passively support causes you believe in. All leaders need followers.

I am more of that Type B, submissive, follower personality, and I identify and look up to characters and people who are like me, and are still strong.

I like to see - and want to see - characters who are more passive, less sure of themselves, but they are still strong and do what's right.

Which is why, while valid, I just can't interpret "Fanon Remus" as MY Remus. I can't relate to "Fanon Remus" and that interpretation of him doesn't serve the purpose I need in the kinds of stories I like to write.

And I'm sure a lot of people feel the same way, about a lot of characters.

They way I see Remus, is like this:

He is shy, he's one of those introverts that gets found by his extrovert friends and has no idea how to make friends outside of that.

He is focused on academics - in the Hogwarts world I see this as a way to prove to himself that he deserves to be here. To James and Sirius, their studies (magic or otherwise, depending on the AU) come naturally to them, but Remus works hard for his grades. (In this way he is a Type A personality, but he's not that dominant personality type.)

He loves his friends and unknowingly starts to mimic and adopt some of their traits the longer they are friends, which is how he becomes more sarcastic and mischievous.

He is kind, to the point of being overly apologetic.

He's one of those students that during parent-teacher conferences the teachers say he's "so quiet" and "a joy to have in class".

He's pessimistic in a "if I don't get my hopes up I won't be disappointed" kind of way. He wants to be optimistic but can't really visualize the things he wants as something that could be true. He feels like his wants are silly wishes. However, he's not pessimistic in the way that "nothing good will ever happen to me."

He's open to things turning out a little differently than he had planned.

He's supportive and wise. He gives good advice to his friends.

He has bad self-esteem issues, often falling into negative thoughts along the lines of "nobody actually likes me" "nobody can stand to be around me" "everyone wishes I wasn't here"

Loves doing big, thrilling activities, but needs his time to have quiet, introspective, and calming activities.

A true introvert, while he loves spending time with people, his social energy drains when he's around others, and recharges when he is alone.

So the moral of this post is meant to be - every character in every fandom is going to have lots of different interpretations, and is going to be even more different from person to person. We all see things differently. They may look wildly different from your interpretation, or even from Canon, but that doesn't make them less valid, and they don't deserve to be told that they're wrong.

There is now correct way to see a character - there are only ways that you disagree with.

Expect to see more character studies and interpretations in the future

[nowplayingblog]

I think the most exciting part of the new spider-man movie is all the irondad, tony-lives fix-it first that will be born following the movies release

[nowplayingblog]

Wolfstar Romeo and Juliet AU, but it's actually a Gnomeo and Juliet AU, but they're not Gnomes.

[nowplayingblog]

AU'S I WANT TO WRITE ONE DAY

Will update as ideas come...

Wolfstar

Mulan AU, where the secret Remus is hiding is that he's a werewolf

Stardust AU, where Remus is a Star, Sirius is a Prince, and James is a boy from a town called Wall.

Ella Enchanted AU, where Remus is cursed with obedience.

Schitt's Creek Inspired, where Sirius is a recently-disowned rich boy who moves to the town where Remus lives and learns to become humble.

Percy Jackson

Princess Diaries AU, I've seen it done before, but I have my own things I want to do with it.

Emma AU, Percabeth

[nowplayingblog]

PROJECT IDEA:

I see a lot of these one-off magazines or "zines" that typically surround one fandom and are a combination of fanfics and fanart, sometimes working in tandem. In my opinion, though they reserve the right to call themselves zines and are valid and wonderful, they function more as a collection of stories, or a mini book.

So I got to wondering, what if I were to create a magazine, using my layout and graphic design background and my love of fandom and fanfiction, to create something more resembling an actual magazine.

I would want it to be multi-fandom, paletable to anyone regardless of their interests. It would be about reading and writing fanfiction and would include several different sections:

An ask and response section, where readers send in their questions and recieve advice.

A trope of the week column or article discussing a specific trope and dissecting it to understand it more and explain it to those who want to write it or read it.

Articles to help with the writing process and writing basics for beginners or anyone seeking to learn something new - ideas being going over the three act structure, or points of view (1st, 2nd, 3rd (focused), or 3rd (omniscient)

Crafts relating to bookbinding, making keychains, or other ways to express your love for a fanfic that doesn't have its own merch.

Debate columns (not aimed to attack anyone or any trope, but to illustrate opinions of different readers and writers)

Interviews with fanfic authors

Opinion pieces about specific tropes or feelings surrounding fanfiction and fandom.

Fanfic recs from readers (and me)

Stats from AO3 (which tags are the most popular etc.)

I think this would be a fun monthly or two-monthly magazine targeted to readers and writers of fanfics that would have more than one issue. It would be a free pdf, although if it's successful enough I may sell subscriptions for a printed magazine.

What are your thoughts?

[nowplayingblog]

Maybe a hot take, but I don't like All The Young Dudes. At all.

[nowplayingblog]

STIRRING

Summary: Remus is enjoying a quiet off season with his husband and newborn son - well, quiet may not be the right word.

SW credit to @lumosinlove

Remus-being-a-good-singer headcanon credit to @fruitcoops

Song: All the Animals by Jewel

Remus had been told - by his parents, by Lily and James, by Pascal and Celeste - to get his rest while he could. But with the new baby on the way, Remus found himself staring at their bedroom ceiling at night, his stomach churning with his many worries over how good of a parent he would be. And over how little sleep he was getting in the months and weeks leading up to their son's birth.

After their son came home, Remus found himself somewhat grateful for his sleepless nights. The amount of sleep he was getting hadn't really changed. Now he just had a purpose when he was awake.

It was late July now, Remus and Sirius savoring the last few weeks of their off-season, silently dreading when training and practices would pick back up, and their ability to stay with their son for every second of every day stolen away from them.

It wasn't as though they would never see their son again, but after the near constant contact they had with him Remus suspected they would all three be suffering from the growing pains that came with life's inability to slowdown.

Theodore Rigel Lupin-Black was crying. It was 2:37 AM, and Remus groggily woke up from a shockingly restful 3 hours of sleep.

That was another thing Remus had noticed. He wasn't getting a lot of sleep - but the little time he did get he fell asleep more quickly, and slept more deeply.

"Er-ugh," Sirius groaned from where he was curled up beside Remus, his arm thrown across Remus's waist. "Teddy?"

"I got it baby," Remus said softly, turning in Sirius's arms and kissing his forehead "you got him last time."

"He's probably hungry." Sirius muttered, before promptly falling back asleep. Remus sat up in the bed and throwing his legs over the side.

Theodore, little Teddy, slept in a bassinet in the corner of their bedroom. It calmed their nerves, it was easier to hear him when he needed them, and he wasn't a long walk away. They had a nursery for him down the hall, full decorated in a fantasy forest theme, complete with a mural of knights and dragons Regulus had so thoughtfully painted for them. Teddy took his naps in there, and he would move in full time once pre-season started up. For now, they had him all to themselves.

Teddy was kicking his legs inside his swaddle sack, his face scrunched up in his perceived misery. Remus cooed as he lifted the baby into his arms.

"Oh, my poor baby," he said, "Are you so hungry? Are Papa and Dada so mean and never feed you anything."

Teddy's cries softened slightly, as if knowing this wasn't true and feeling guilty for implying such a thing. His eyes were open and tracking Remus's face.

"I know, I know," Remus cooed, tucking Teddy safely into his arms and making his way out of the bedroom and downstairs to the kitchen.

He took a pre-made bottle from the fridge and placed it in the bottle warmer, and started to bounce Teddy in his arms while they waited. Teddy was decidedly unhappy at the prospect of having to wait any longer, and had picked up his cries. Remus combated this humming nonsensically and giving Teddy firm pats on the back to the beat.

The humming morphed into singing. A song Remus recognized from when he was a little kid.

all the animals

agree, you and me

should be a team

Teddy's cries were soothed slightly, going from wailing to soft whimpers and coos as he listened to Remus's voice, letting himself be soothed.

Remus let himself linger at the calm, aware look of his son's face. Teddy's hair was currently a dark brown color. They had tried to pick a surrogate that looked as much like Sirius as possible, so they had been debating if Teddy's hair would lighten to Remus's lighter, honey-brown hair, or stay dark like Sirius's. Based on the baby pictures Hope Lupin had brought when she had last visited, of a dark-haired baby, Remus had his hopes. But the full head of curls was all to similar to the likes of Sirius.

Teddy was getting chubby in his second month. He was so adorable, covered in rolls of baby fat, his cheeks full and his face round. he had long eyelashes too, now clumped together with the remains of his tears.

and they walk on parade

say that we were made

to be a team

The timer on the bottle warmer went off, and Remus reached for the bottle, carefully maneuvering Teddy in his arms to test the temperature against his wrist, continuing to sing.

and my heart

flutters when you're near

Deeming the bottle safe for Teddy, Remus took the bottle, and placing the nipple against his son's lips, and Teddy sucked eagerly. With his son satisfied, Remus made his way to sit down at the couch in the living room, continuing to sing and rock to Teddy, hoping to get him to fall asleep as soon as he was done with his bottle.

Remus looked down at his son, who's tired eyes dropped as he took his bottle, and his heart swelled with a familiar happiness. His son - his sweet baby boy, in his arms. His husband getting some well-deserved rest in the other room. Remus remembered when not to long ago his current reality was nothing more than a fever dream.

And Teddy was perfect.

and all the rainbows

say that they know

we're a perfect pair

[nowplayingblog]

MASTERLIST

Things I Love About:

Sweater Weather

Sweater Weather

Headcanons

Coops and Teddy: Part I, Part II, Part III

Fanfics

Stirring - Remus takes care of Teddy in the middle of the night

Marauders Era

Character Studies

Remus Lupin

[nowplayingblog]

COOPS AND TEDDY PT. III

Part II

This time, some itty bitty baby headcanons... which I think is largely what I'll write in ficlets. I just love babies.

They time it so that Teddy would be born in June, July, or August. That way they could spend as much time with him as a newborn as possible. They had planned on missing a few pre-season games if he were born later in the summer, but they lucked out, and Theodore Rigel Lupin-Black was born on June 12, 2023. (6/12 👀)

Sirius is the first one to hold him at the hospital, Remus in front of him, with a hand on their son's head, and the spend like ten minutes just like that, looking down at him in wonder.

That's walks Hope Lupin sees when she walks into the room a few minute later. She takes a picture, and it hangs in Teddy's nursery.

As is tradition the entire Gryffindor Lions team squeezes into the hospital room to see little baby Teddy.

Remus nearly breaks down in tears when he gets to hold his son for the first time. It's when they're doing skin to skin, and Theodore is just sleeping against his chest, and Remus is just overwhelmed with happiness.

Sirius actually cries when he does skin to skin with Teddy. Then Remus starts crying too.

Hope is the first to hold Teddy after his dads finally hand him over, followed by Jules.

There's a really cute picture of 13-year-old Julian Lupin with a boppy pillow on his lap, Teddy laying in his arms.

Then, after nearly an hour of whiney begging, James gets to hold him.

This is when Harry meets Teddy for the first time.

Eventually Dumo gets his turn to him, with Katie Dumais looking at the baby over her dad's shoulder. She starts calling Teddy her "new baby."

When they take Teddy home, his nursery has a fantasy, knights and dragons theme, but he doesn't sleep there until he's about three months old, when hockey season starts up again.

Instead Teddy sleeps in a bassinet in his parents room, where they can keep an eye on him at night.

And boy oh boy, are they glad they had him in the off-season, because they barely get any sleep.

Remus's main strategy for getting Teddy to sleep is rocking him in the rocking chair and singing to him. Sirius hadn't know Remus was good at singing until they had their son.

(Their house is always filled with singing from then on. Sirius isn't a particularly good singer, but he likes to sing, and he doesn't care if Remus thinks he sounds bad. Remus does indeed think he sounds bad, but most of the time he doesn't care. Teddy takes after Remus in the matter that he can sing, but isn't super open about it.)

Sirius likes to talk through hockey plays in a soft voice when actively trying to get Teddy to go to sleep, swaying and pacing. Teddy just likes to hear his voice, and Sirius claims it helps him with his captain-ing.

Remus is the worrier. He's always worried about Teddy, checking up on him, always asking "when was he last fed?" "Does he need a diaper change?" And constantly thinks he hears Teddy crying even when he's not.

Sirius is more laid back, he still has worries - of course he does - but he's the one who is constantly assuring Remus about Teddy's safety and comfort.

Sirius is more worried about Teddy's development, and wether or not Sirius will be a good father for him.

Teddy always cries when Sirius has to leave the room. He has a more secure attachment to Remus - with him he seems more assured Remus will come back. But he wants to be with Sirius all the time. (It's not that he doesn't like Remus or doesn't trust Sirius to come back - babies just tend to have a favorite parent in my experience.)

They don't get to go on vacation that summer, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

Next Time: Baby/Toddler Teddy is the Lions biggest fan. And the Lions are Teddy's biggest fan.

[nowplayingblog]

COOPS AND TEDDY PT. II

Part I

Jules is an amazing uncle.

He's always taking Teddy to Lions games when ever he's in Gryffindor visiting. When both Teddy and Julien are younger, they're accompanied by Hope and Lyall, but once Jules is an older teen (when Teddy is around 4-5 years old) he starts to take Teddy by himself.

Jules may have also been apart of Teddy's very first hair coloring fiasco.

Regulus is also a great uncle.

I imagine Regulus not being around quite as much as Julian and Remus's parents, because he's got a lot of his own things he's working on (idk if he gets back into Hockey, or he starts working on a career, but either way I imagine him as a much busier guy.

But like Regulus is the "cool uncle."

Cool as in, he's the uncle Teddy doesn't get to see as often, and when he does see Uncle Regulus, Reg goes all out. Like, buys him ice cream, tells him story's about his dads, takes him to the zoo, etc.

And whenever Regulus has Teddy, it's for sure date night for Sirius and Remus.

The Team loves Teddy as well.

They're constantly fighting over who gets to help him score a goal at family skate.

(but as much as Teddy loves the attention, he much prefers when they just help him spin around on the ice, or skate alongside him, or trying new tricks on the ice, rather than trying to get him to join a game of hockey.)

(this, of course, all goes out the window when one of his dads takes him to an All Star game. Then of course, he needs to be the center of attention, and be carried to the goal net to score.)

When Teddy's younger, like child age, he really hams it up for the press and the cameras. He loves the attention, and Remus and Sirius do a great job keeping Teddy away from any camera's they don't want him in front of.

When Teddy was a toddler, he hated the overwhelming lights and sounds of the press teams, and Remus and Sirius really came down hard on them.

When Teddy is a teenager, he still likes to put on a show in front of the cameras, but he is more familiar and aware of the dangers of the press.

He's probably in gymnastics and dance as a kid, before finally getting into figure skating as a teenager

Next time I think I'll write some more baby Teddy hc's... Prompts always welcome!

Part III

SW credit to @lumosinlove

[nowplayingblog]

COOPS AND TEDDY

I see so many people making an OC child for Coops in SW verse, but my headcanon is that Coops's baby is Teddy Lupin!

If anyone has already written about this, please let me know. Here are some headcanons of Coops with Teddy, which I will later write ficlets about. Prompts encouraged!

In my head, they used a surrogate to have him, with Teddy being biologically Remus's son, as a bit of a reference to HP (without all the dubious consent. I said what I said.)

I also think (at the time of writing this) that they hyphenate their last name as Lupin-Black, but they keep their names separate on the ice to make things easier.

So Teddy's full name is, Theodore Rigel Lupin-Black

(Rigel being that brightest star in the Orion Constellation. Sirius had hesitated, not wanting his son to have anything to do with his father, but Remus had convinced him by treating it as a way for Sirius's name to have a meaning outside of his father.)

When they can't watch Teddy, either during away games, roadies, or practice, Lily watches him.

Harry and Teddy become really close due to this, with Harry being very caring and protective towards Teddy, and their parents joke that Harry is Teddy's godfather (especially after Harry says so himself when he and Sirius are talking about how Sirius is his godfather.)

I imagine that Teddy and Harry have about a 3-4 year age gap.

When Teddy is two and Harry is five. Harry had wanted some hair-chalk to turn his hair fun colors, so it was in the house, and one day the two of them had gotten into it and Harry had colored Teddy's hair blue. Teddy was so pleased with it, his dad's let him leave it in all day. From that point on, Teddy was nearly constantly asking for his hair to be colored with hair chalk.

When Teddy turns ten, Sirius and Remus start actually letting him dye it with semi-permanent hair dyes.

Teddy's hair is naturally a sandy, reddish brownish blonde, a lot like Remus's hair, and it's crazy curly.

Teddy's hair colors is subject to scrutiny from many announcers when he goes to games.

Most of the time it's harmless, playful things like "Teddy Lupin-Black's hair is Lion's Red and Gold today!", but every so often someone has something to say about what this says about Remus and Sirius's parenting skills (never the Lions announcers, it's always at away games)

Teddy grows up skating, and loves it just as much as his parents, but he never quite took to hockey like his dads did. Instead he finds an interest in Figure Skating.

(He definitely makes it to the Olympics as an adult.)

(His dads are so proud.)

Part II

SW credit to @lumosinlove